The wrong speech is loaded into his dual glass teleprompters.

So he did what any of us would do: he freaked out.

He got flustered, apologized for his tech, filled the minutes with ums and uhs, and then awkwardly waited until the right speech could get loaded.

No!

What he actually did was something only a true professional would do:

He called for a moment of silence for a fatal train crash that had occurred earlier that day and used the precious seconds to gather his thoughts. Then he launched into the broad themes of his speech from memory.

It took seven whole minutes for the correct speech to be loaded into the teleprompter. And when it arrived, Clinton was able to skillfully integrate his impromptu open into the prepared text.

Perhaps most impressive of all, the audience didn’t know anything had gone wrong until after the event.

Months later, Clinton brought it up lightheartedly at the start of his 1994 State of the Union opening with: “I’m not at all sure what speech is in the teleprompter tonight, but I hope we can talk about the state of the union.”

This story is one of many reasons why Bill Clinton is regarded as one of the greatest communicators of the 20th century. His ability to think and speak naturally on his feet is iconic.

Unless you’re a world leader being globally broadcasted, you’ll likely never be in a scenario like that. But when you get up to present, you will always be faced with one challenging question:

How many notes should I take up with me?

And once you’re delivering your speech:

How do I look at my notes without looking like I’m looking at my notes?

That’s what this week’s newsletter is all about. How to use your notes like a pro the next time you speak. And here’s the one core truth to remember:

The fewer the notes you take up, the less you glance down. The less you glance down, the more engaged with the audience you can be.

To get there, you need to work on internalizing (not memorizing!) your talk. You want to know your message so well that you’re free to be fully present and have a conversation with your audience (instead of reciting a script).

I covered this recently, and you can read about how to internalize your talk here.

Before we dive in to how many notes you should take up, I want to let you know that The Speak School is open! Join now and you can catch tomorrow’s meeting where we’ll dive into how to get more speaking opportunities by getting C.L.E.A.R. on who your are, who your audience is, and what you bring to the table.

Check out The Speak School →

How many notes should I take up?

Over the years I’ve worked with clients on both extremes—those who want every single word of a 90-minute presentation up with them and clients who take up no notes at all.

How many notes you take up is going to depend on your delivery style, the length of your talk, the content itself, how much time you had to prepare, and whether or not you’re using slides.

My baseline rule is this: the goal of your notes is to give you confidence and you should take up as few as possible. Your audience will never know what you didn’t say.

Here are a few techniques that great speakers use to minimize notes.

Idea #1: Be like Brené and take up no notes.

Brené Brown’s 2010 TEDx talk “The Power of Vulnerability” is one of the top 5 most-watched TED talks of all time (with over 60 million views!). This talk literally changed her life from being an academic researcher to a household name on shame, courage, and empathy.

She also took up zero notes.

This is a stretch goal for most speakers I’ve worked with: to know your message so well that you don’t need any notes. This might not be realistic for your next presentation but it’s a worthwhile goal.

Even if you can’t be fully off notes for your whole talk, make it a goal to be completely off notes on personal stories—you shouldn’t need to reference your notes when you’re sharing a personal experience.

Idea #2: Be like Malcolm Gladwell and use the trigger word method.

Rather than writing your speech in full sentences, use 1-3 word bullet points. These bullet points should trigger your memory for all the anecdotes, quotes, and talking points that you’ve internalized.

The big idea is that you design your notes for glancing, not reading.

Malcolm Gladwell is a master of the trigger-word outline. When delivering keynotes or university lectures, his notes contain trigger words or phrases—often just a key date, a proper name, or a location like, “1973,” “Moncton,” “Flight 93.” Glancing at a single word instantly triggers his memory for a five-minute story he’s rehearsed, letting him tell it naturally. You can watch an example of this here.

Out of all the clients I’ve worked with, the trigger word method is the most popular and it’s the one I personally use.

Example: Rather than writing: “Today’s competitive marketplace requires organizations to adapt rapidly...,” you might simply write:

• competitive market

• 3 pressures

• client story

• adapt vs. react

Those few words are enough to remind you where you’re going without pulling your eyes away from your audience.

Idea #3: Be like Steve Jobs and use slide anchoring.

Slide anchoring is when you allow your slides to be the visual cue for what comes next.

The most iconic example of this is probably when Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone in 2007. His slides contained virtually no text—just a high-resolution product image, a punchy data point (“1,000 songs in your pocket”), or a simple graphic. When a new slide appeared, the visual served as Jobs’ prompt to launch into the next story or product feature associated with it.

Or take Seth Godin. His keynotes often feature 100+ slides in a 45-minute talk (something I don’t recommend!), but they almost never contain text or bullets. Each slide is typically a full-screen photograph or a single word. As the slide changes behind him, the image acts as a mental trigger telling Godin exactly which concept or case study to transition into next. To see this in action, watch his famous talk “How to Get Your Ideas to Spread.”

One tip here is to design your deck last. You want your content to drive your slides, not the other way around.

Idea #4: Be like Tony Robbins and use stage anchoring.

If you’ve ever taken theater or been in a play, you’ve done this. Basically you map out specific spots on the stage where you’re going to say different lines. Moving to a specific spot automatically triggers your memory of what to say next. (It also signals to the audience that a topic shift is happening.)

Tony Robbins uses this technique. He anchors specific themes and emotional moments to different physical zones of the stage: center stage for high-intensity teaching, the front edge of the stage for intimate audience connection, and side zones for challenges. A lot of his content is created by going down into the audience and talking directly to them. Here’s an example of his style.

Note: You do need to be careful with this one so you don’t come off as too “staged.” Since the stages you speak on will vary in size and shape, it requires some adaptability.

Okay, those are all great ideas… but how do I actually “take up” my notes?

Confidence monitors

Unless you’re the President, you are not going to be given dual glass monitors. But at most big events, you’ll likely be offered confidence monitors. These are essentially downstage monitors that are angled upward (often two, placed in a “V” shape rather than in the center). These usually display the current slide, next slide, a timer, and brief bullet points so that you can look straight at the audience while glancing down naturally.

Using the trigger word method above, most speakers put short phrases or directions for them to remember their content.

When I worked for Dave Ramsey, he was a master at the confidence monitors and only glanced down at them during his transitions.

A few tips on using confidence monitors well:

• Practice! It takes some practice to know when to look down

• Make the font big. Set notes to 36-48 pt minimum

• The “Side-Mirror” Rule: Treat the confidence monitor like a car’s side mirror. Check it quickly to gather information, then return your focus to the “road” (the audience).

  ---

Confidence cards

Again, depending on the set up of your speech in the room you might want to consider taking up physical cards.

To look like a pro, use small, heavy-cardstock note cards branded with your logo. Hold them in one hand for reference. (Make sure that they are numbered in case you drop them!)

Even when you’re using confidence monitors, I’m a big fan of sharing hard data or a pithy quote using a confidence card.

Ronald Reagan was famous for using index cards and he carried them in his suit pockets everywhere he went. He had a rather elaborate system that was kind of amazing. You can watch a whole video about it here.

In his fabulous book, Speak Like Churchill Stand Like Lincoln, James C Humes calls this the “frame it and stage it” technique. The idea is to add a bit of drama in your speech by pausing, taking the card out of your pocket (or off the lectern), putting on glasses (if you wear them) and reading the quote from the card for accuracy.

It shows your audience that you’re so passionate about being exactly right that it was worth writing on a card. (Plus, it adds a little dramatic flair!)

Laptops

The reality is that many of us run our own notes from our own laptops or iPads at events and we don’t have a full tech team running them for us.

If you are using your laptop as your confidence monitor, try to position it to the side. Set it on a small side table or to the far corner of the podium—never directly in center stage between you and your audience.

And if you love the stickers on your laptop, just make sure they are not distracting.

When to glance at your notes:

Regardless of how they are displayed, you want to be strategic about when you look at them. The best times?

• For stats, quotes, legal language, names and titles

• While your audience’s eyes are drawn to a visual element like a video clip

• Following an audience participation moment

  ---

One last tip: have someone run your notes for you.

Most professional speakers I’ve worked with (those making over 6 figures a year speaking) have someone travel with them to run their notes and make sure that everything is set up exactly how they like it.

This person has learned their voice. They know when to scroll and when to advance, and they become a liaison with the event organizer and A\V so that the speaker can focus on what they do best: speaking.

If you haven’t noticed by now, it’s worth saying plainly: Your notes should support your thinking, not substitute for it.

If you’re reading your notes, they’re probably too detailed.

If you’re constantly losing your place, they’re probably too sparse.

The right notes are the ones that let you glance down, instantly find your place, and look right back at your audience. They let you read the room, notice the verbal and nonverbal feedback, and be fully present.

That’s when notes stop being a crutch and start becoming what they were always meant to be: there to give you the confidence to show up and deliver the speech that only you can give.

I’d love to hear from you. How do you use notes when you speak? Leave a comment or just hit reply and let me know!

P.S. Don’t forget to check out The Speak School! Not ready to commit? Act now you’ll have the chance to try before you buy. (That’s right! Join tomorrow’s meeting FREE.)

Dolly Parton died yesterday and I’m SO sad. I never got to meet her, but as a woman who modeled confidence, generosity, and grit, she’s been a constant source of inspiration to me. (Plus, she’s sent my kids hundreds of books through the Imagination Library over the years, for which I’m deeply grateful!)

As a speaker, Dolly was defined by her deep warmth, authentic storytelling, and a beautiful integration of speaking and singing throughout her performances. To honor her, I want to share one of the few formal addresses she gave during her life, a commencement address in 2009 at UT. In her own words, “Dream more, learn more, do more, and become more.”

We will always love you, Dolly. Thank you for being a diamond in a rhinestone world! ❤

️Ready to become a more confident, compelling speaker?

Great speaking isn’t about memorizing every word, it’s about knowing your speech well enough to be present with your audience and be your authentic self on stage.

That’s the kind of work we do inside The Speak School: practical coaching, teaching, and community designed to help you become a better speaker and build a bigger speaking career.

The Speak School is officially open, and you can lock in $129/month through August 28.

Want to see what it’s like before you commit? Join us for a live meeting tomorrow, August 27 at 12:00 p.m. CT as we dig into to how to get more speaking opportunities by getting C.L.E.A.R. Plus, you'll get to hear live coaching of current members' speeches.

When your message is clear, decision makers don’t have to guess whether you’re right for their event—they can see it immediately. Check out The Speak School →

We’d worked hard to build a great speech. It had a great framework. We layered in stories. We layered in humor.

The problem wasn’t the content.

It wasn’t the structure.

It wasn’t even confidence.

The problem was that almost every line sounded exactly like the one before it. His delivery was boring.

So I had him try something simple: he chose key lines or moments from his talk to deliver differently.

Slow down here.

Speed up here.

Get louder there.

Slow down and pause before this word.

Drop your pitch on that line.

We didn’t change a single word.

But suddenly, the speech sounded completely different.

Same message. Different delivery.

And that’s the power of vocal variety.

But here’s the crazy thing: Most people I work with don’t think vocal variety is their problem.

When it comes to delivery, they always tell me things like “I get going on rabbit trails” or “I have filler words” or “I don’t know what to do with my hands” . . . when I know that it’s actually a lack of vocal variety that’s holding them back from becoming the speaker that they want to be.

Depending on your natural cadence, vocal variety may or may not come naturally to you. But more than likely, even if you have some, you need more.

The 5 Tools of Vocal Variety

It’s easy to get lost in the science of vocal variety. The good news? You can focus on just five simple tools that will add contrast, emphasis, and emotion to your delivery right away.

Pace - fast/slow

• Talk faster to show excitement or to summarize

• Slow down to emphasize something important

Volume - loud/soft

• Be loud to command attention

• Speak softly to build intimacy or suspense

Pitch - high/low

• Pitch is simply how high or low your voice sounds

• High pitch often conveys excitement or surprise

• Low pitch often conveys seriousness or authority

Pauses - long/short

• A pause before a big line builds anticipation

• A pause after a big line lets it land

Tone - the emotional color of your voice

• Use a serious tone to show importance or authority

• Use a lighter or playful tone to create warmth or connection

These five simple tools will help your audience:

✔️ Stay engaged and receptive

✔️ Remember key parts of your message

✔️ Feel your emotions and authenticity

But most importantly, they prevent listener fatigue.

When you break up your rhythm and change your pitch or volume, you activate different areas of your listener’s brain and reset their attention span.

So how do you add it into your speaking?

First, find the moments that matter.

Vocal variety is most effective when it has a purpose. You don’t need to change your pace, pitch, volume, or tone every few seconds—that would be exhausting too.

Instead, look for the moments in your speech that deserve a little more attention.

Your biggest idea.
Your strongest line.
The emotional moment.
The surprising detail.
The thing you really want them to remember.

Vocal variety helps those moments stand out.

Here’s what you do:

Step 1: Go through your speech and highlight your main points, power lines, quotes, or big ideas.

Step 2: Looking at your highlights, pick just three lines to practice.

Step 3: Experiment with each:

• Pace → Can I add emphasis to this line by speeding up or slowing down?

• Volume → Can I raise or lower my voice here?

• Pitch → Can I bring this story to life with a higher or lower pitch?

• Tone → What emotion do I want the audience to feel?

• Pause → Can I pause before or after this line to let it breathe?

Practice

Okay, enough talking about vocal variety. Let’s hear it.

Here are three speakers who are masters of vocal variety. As you listen, notice when they speed up, slow down, get louder, get quieter, pause, and change pitch or tone.

In other words, listen for the moments when their voice makes the words more interesting, emotional, or memorable.

• Martin Luther King Jr., I Have a Dream (16 min) - An iconic example of using vocal variety to build emotion and turn words into an unforgettable experience.

• Trevor Noah, How to Leave People Speechless (10 min) - Comedians are brilliant at using their voices, facial expressions, and body language to turn an ordinary story into a dynamic performance.

• Roger Love, Is Your Voice Ruining Your Life? (15 min) - Love, one of the world’s leading voice experts, says how we say things matters more than the words themselves.

Okay, now that you’ve heard some examples, it’s your turn!

Here’s a simple exercise:

1. Record yourself giving a 2–3 minute section of your speech in your normal delivery.

2. Then, record the same section with intentional variety (pace, volume, pitch, tone, pauses).

3. Compare. What difference do you notice?

Remember: vocal variety is intentional.

Your content matters—but how you deliver it is what makes your words stick.

Next time you give a talk, experiment with one tool and notice how your audience responds.

I’d love to hear from you! Who’s a speaker you love listening to because of the way they use their voice? 👇🏻 Drop it in the comments or just hit reply.

Until next time, speak on!

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re serious about growing as a speaker, you don’t have to do it by yourself. The Speak School is my membership community for speakers who want to develop their talks, improve their delivery, become more bookable, and actually make progress month after month.

We learn together, work on your real speaking projects, celebrate wins, and get live coaching along the way. The Speak School reopens August 24th, and I’d love to have you join us.

Join the Waitlist

In the National Football League world (of which I’m a big fan– GO CHIEFS!), the buzz this week wasn’t just around the pre-season or even starting quarterback announcements, it was around an acceptance speech given by Adam Vinatieri into the Hall of Fame.

Now, this speech started as pretty much all acceptance speeches do—with almost 8 minutes of gratitude. He thanks his parents (cut to dad crying), he thanks his siblings for being the best team he’s ever been on (cut to siblings), he thanks his kids, he thanks his wife (“...as the kids say, I definitely kicked out of my coverage!”), and he thanks many coaches.

And then 8 minutes and 12 seconds in, the moment comes when the speech makes a dramatic turn from acceptance speech to a roast, starting with Bill Belichick (who was nominated and did not win). For the next 12 minutes he blended acceptance/heartfelt comments with a roast of MANY of his peers in the audience. From making fun of Peyton Manning’s forehead to an off-color joke directed at Pat McAfee (at the 14:25 mark).

Following the reactions has been interesting. On one hand, some felt that he crossed the line of a serious event and the honor associated with winning the award, while others felt that it was lighthearted and entertaining.

From my speech coach perspective, there is a lot to learn from this speech.

• How to give a roast. This speech is a good example of a roast—and it shows the artful construct of that type of speech and how it should ebb and flow between serious and heartfelt.

• Great use of personification: He ends the speech with an emotional and memorable close by talking directly to “football” as his lifelong companion.

• Who is the audience? This speech raises the ultimate question we all face when it comes to our speeches: who is your primary audience? Is it the event organizers who invited you? Is it the in-house audience? Or is it the potential millions that might consume a 30-second clip of it on social media later that night?

If you watch it, hit reply let me know what you think or drop a note in the comments!

“The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and it doesn’t stop until you get up to deliver a speech.” - Edward de Bono

Hilariously accurate.

Earlier this year, I had a client share with me that he gets brain fog whenever he gets up to speak and can’t remember a single word he memorized.

There are lots of reasons for brain fog (hello middle age!), including both the psychological and physiological responses to speaking in public. Since I’m a speech coach and not a psychologist, I won’t get into all of those. But I will share with you what I shared with him:

Your goal is to internalize not memorize your talk.

Unless you’re an actor, there are very few things in life you’ll need to memorize. (OK, maybe passwords to a zillion online accounts.)

But when it comes to giving a speech, memorization can cause your brain to freeze—and you’ll be left standing there, awkwardly trying to recall what’s next. The only exit you can see is to back up and take a running start at it again.

Memorization can also lead to a rote delivery. You sound canned even when you’re completely off notes.

Instead, I want you to internalize your content.

Memorization is about knowing your speech word-for-word.

Internalization is about knowing your big ideas and the order they come in.

It’s learning your core message and how you lay it out.

So, how do you internalize your content? Here are 7 techniques you can try.

1. Use a Voice Memos app.

As an auditory learner who learns best by hearing myself talk, this is my favorite tip.

All iPhones come preloaded with this Voice Memos app. (Android users can get the voice recorder from Google Play).

Sit down (or better, stand) and record yourself giving your speech exactly the way you want to. Then listen to it over and over again.

You’ll be amazed by how much time you’ll have to learn it this way! While you’re driving to work, doing dishes, taking a walk, etc.

It’s also helpful to hear your delivery. Pay attention to pauses, inflections, and the way you say things. Also, note those filler words…like, you know. Does that make sense? 😉​

2. Chunk your content.

Instead of getting overwhelmed with a 60-minute keynote, break it into 12 five-minute chunks and focus on one at a time.

Because your open and close are the most memorable parts of your speech, give those spots extra time and attention.

(If you like tip #1, listen to the first five minutes of your recording, hit pause, and then deliver those five minutes out loud—and go through it chunk by chunk that way.)

In your notes, use headlines, bullets and colors that make sense to you for each section.

For example, in my notes, I highlight things that will be on slides in yellow, audience participation in blue, and my humor lines are in red font.​

​3. Make a visual mind map (whiteboard).

Beyond color coding your script, visual learners find it helpful to create a visual “mind map” to learn their content.

On a whiteboard or large sheet of paper write your main point in the center.

Draw branches for major sections of your speech (open, problem, action, etc.) and under each section add your supporting content and details. Consider using cues like colors or symbols to make it more memorable.

Sticky notes are a great tool for creating mind maps. If you prefer a virtual whiteboard, Canva has templates to get you started.

4. Thomas Edison Method (i.e. sleep on it)

Thomas Edison is known to have employed a fascinating technique of napping to help solve problems and stimulate creativity. It involved entering a state of semi-sleep, a transitional phase between wakefulness and sleep, where the brain is still active but more relaxed.

He would sit in a chair with metal balls in his hands, holding them over metal plates. As he drifted into sleep, his hands would relax, and the balls would drop onto the plates, making a noise loud enough to wake him up. This brief nap, or “hypnagogic” state (the phase between wakefulness and sleep), would allow his mind to wander in a creative way, helping him generate ideas and solutions to problems he’d been working on.

Weird.

I’m not going to suggest you do that.

But, I am going to suggest that you read through your speech one time right before bed every night and let your brain work on it while you’re sleeping.

​5. Sherlock Holmes’ Memory Palace

The memory palace technique (also known as the method of loci) is a mnemonic strategy used to enhance memory retention, and it’s famously associated with the character Sherlock Holmes.

It works by associating information with visual images. (Personally, I find it a little complicated, but I have clients who rave about it.)

Here’s how it works:

Select a familiar “palace” or location you know well (like your home). Then, associate different rooms of your house as storage points for different parts of your speech. Then, you mentally walk through your “palace,” visiting each room in sequence and its associated talking point.

If you’re interested, I encourage you to check out this three-minute YouTube video and this really fun TedTalk to learn more.

6. Associate key points with movements.

⚠️ Okay, tread lightly with this one. You don’t want to be too staged!

When you deliver a speech out loud and use gestures, your body also learns the material through muscle memory. The physical movements and speech patterns become ingrained over time.

Practicing with gestures and body language not only improves your delivery but it also helps your brain create associations. Your movements are like cues that help your brain recall what to say next.

A few examples of this…

• Use your fingers as you list off three things

• Pair the “itty-bitty” gesture (touch your thumb and forefinger almost together) with a by-the-way thought or good-to-know subpoint

• Use height gestures like short, medium, tall to indicate the level of a key point or person. “This guy is a big deal” (tall) or “The results were just average” (medium) or “Don’t worry about that” (low).

  ---

​7. Practice your speech in front of real people.

I can’t emphasize this one enough.

Not only will this help with your timing, nerves, and any weak parts of your speech that need to be refined, it will also help you learn your content through active recall.

Active recall is one of the most effective methods of learning.

When you deliver your talk, you’re forced to retrieve the content from your memory, which strengthens your recall pathways.

So every time you practice in front of an audience, your brain actively reconstructs the speech, helping you internalize it more.

Unlike reading or memorizing, speaking out loud lets you engage with your content at another level. You’re not just passively reviewing; you’re producing it in real time and solidifying your knowledge of it.

And if you want a professional set of eyes (and ears) on your speech, that’s exactly what I do everyday. You can learn more about working with me here.​

A couple more things…

Be intentional with your notes.

It’s okay to take a quick look at your notes. No one is going to expect you to memorize the Q3 SEO metrics.

Not so when you’re telling a story. You KNOW your stories because they come from the heart. Make it your goal to be completely off notes when telling your stories.

​Know the tech.

There are very few speaking opportunities when you have to go on stage with no notes, but if you do…know the tech.

Most of the time you’ll have your computer, a big screen at the back, or confidence monitors (downstage TVs).

The important thing is to know the environment you’re speaking in and what the notes situation is. (And heck, I won’t judge if you throw some 3x5 cards in your back pocket!)

Any new tech situation needs practice.

It takes a minute to learn to use confidence monitors.

If someone else is running your slides, do a run thru with them prior to speaking—so you can have confidence that your cues are going to appear when you need them to.

​So, what’s the bottom line?

Memorize your speech and you’ll sound like a robot.

Internalize your speech and you’ll sound like a human.

Okay, your turn! What are your tips or tricks for learning your content? Drop a note in the comments, or hit reply and let me know.

Until next week, speak on!

The Speak School Reopens This Fall

Public speaking is a skill anyone can learn—even you. Join a community of speakers who are learning and growing together, and making progress on their speeches every month.

Join the Wait List

This week I was a podcast guest with David Rendall on his Speak Different series.

We talked about how to get clear on your message, how to create brand distinction through your hot takes, and then how to distill those ideas into a sticky phrase or framework.

Next time you’re prepping, ask yourself: What’s that one thing I want the audience to walk away with? Nail that, and the rest will fall into place.

The problem was, I’d never flipped a piece of furniture. Every time I thought about painting it, I got totally overwhelmed. I just didn’t know where to start.

Do I buy new hardware first? Do I have to sand it first? Which grit number sandpaper do I need? What kind of paint should I use? What kind of brushes? Should I paint it outside or inside? If outside, can I paint if it’s too hot or too cold? If inside, how do I not fumigate myself?

(Keep in mind, this was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before Pinterest or ChattyG, and when YouTube trended music parodies and the “Double Rainbow” guy more than the do-it-yourself tutorials you find today.)

For seven years the hutch sat unpainted. Seven!

Ridiculous.

Then I read a book called Overwhelmed by Kathi Lipp where she shared about “micro steps.” The concept is that you break tasks down into the smallest possible units. If you can’t cross the item off the to-do list in one action, the step is too big. You’ve got to make every step smaller. Keep taking one micro step after another and a big project will get completed.

Now this concept (or a version of it) is everywhere. But at the time, it felt revolutionary for me. I decided to apply it to the hutch.

Within a week, the hutch was painted.

Becoming a better speaker can feel a lot like me trying to flip that hutch: overwhelming.

There are so many directions you can go and it’s easy to get snowed under by all the things you need to do. Should you work on your content first? Your delivery? Or, if you want to go pro—your marketing assets? And once you choose one of those three buckets, there are so many things inside to focus on.

Do you need a stronger hook, or is the core message still too muddy?

Should you write your speech out word-for-word or stick to loose bullet points?

Are you pacing too fast? Are your hands gesturing wildly or are you standing there like a statue?

Do you need a high-end speaker reel right now? Is your website convincing enough? Should you be cold-emailing event organizers, posting daily on LinkedIn, or trying to figure out how to price yourself without laughing out loud?

And on and on it can go.

The result of being overwhelmed can be to do nothing.

Instead, I want you to think through what your micro steps could be. Then, choose one small thing that you can do today to become a better speaker.

Should you eventually focus on one big area and break it down into manageable steps? Sure. But today and maybe even tomorrow just pick one small thing. Here are a few ideas:

1. Start Your Day by Watching a TED talk

Subscribe to the TED channel on YouTube and start watching the most popular videos. (If it has millions of views there is something you can learn there.)

As you watch, ask two questions:

• What do I like about their content or speaking?

• How can I incorporate something I liked into my communication today?

I don’t believe that TED is the end-all-be-all of public speaking, but I do believe that if you want to become a great speaker, you need to watch great speakers.

2. Hold the Gaze

Good eye contact projects confidence, self-esteem, and assertiveness.

Most adults make eye contact 30-60% of the time, but research from the communications-analytics company Quantified Impressions says that making eye contact 70% of the time is the most effective.

Communication expert at Columbia University Jesse Scinto calls this the “leadership gaze.”

Today, I want you to hold the gaze. When talking to someone in conversation or in a meeting don’t look at the floor, the ceiling, or behind their shoulder, instead look directly into their eyes.

3. Smile

Psychologists call real smiles—the ones where you smile with your eyes—Duchenne smiles (named after the researcher who identified them).

This kind of smile makes the corners of your eyes crinkle and uses 17 facial muscles!

Researchers say that people can tell the difference between fake smiles and Duchenne smiles, because the latter cause people to feel positive feelings toward you, no matter the context.

When you approach someone today, smile before you start speaking.

4. Bucket and Frame

Whether you’re speaking in a meeting or chatting with a loved one, try what I call “bucketing and framing.”

Before you dive in, group your main points into buckets and then frame the topic so your listener knows exactly what to expect.

For example, if I were talking to my husband about next week’s crazy schedule, I could say:

“Hey, next week is going to be crazy, so I want to map it out real quick so nothing falls through the cracks. There are really just three buckets we need to look at: getting Noah to cross-country practice, my travel schedule, and who is handling dinners.”

By doing this, his brain doesn’t have to untangle a massive web of dates and times. He knows exactly what the conversation is about (the frame) and the three specific categories we need to check off (the buckets).

5. Reduce Filler Words (The One Conversation Method)

Trying to cut those “ums” “uhs” “okay, sos” and “likes” on the fly in a live speech is hard. It’s far more effective to get in the habit of reducing them in your daily conversation, before you ever grab the mic. One exercise you can try is this:

Today, choose one conversation that you’re going to have with a colleague, spouse, or kid, and intentionally focus on eliminating any filler words or phrases. Doing this daily for even a few minutes can go a long way in eliminating your filler words for the long term.

6. Take a 5-Second Body Language Audit

Right now observe your body language and ask is my body language closed or open?

• Closed language (crossed arms, hands buried in pockets, shoulders hunched forward) screams, “I’m defensive, nervous, or hiding something.” It creates an invisible wall between you and the room.

• Open language (uncrossed arms, exposed palms, shoulders back) signals, “I’m confident, comfortable, and I have nothing to hide.”

Today, focus on having open body language.

7. Be a Better Listener

Becoming a better speaker is often a result of becoming a better listener. Today, when you find yourself listening to others talk—whether it’s at a work meeting or with your 7-year-old daughter who’s talking endlessly about the insanely imaginative game she created with her desk pets 🙋🏼‍♀️—be the audience member you wish others would be for you.

“Reflecting” (also called the “echo technique”) is a great listening skill. You do this by repeating back to the person what they said, but rephrase it in your own words. This lets people know you’re listening and keeps the conversation going.

For example, if the person I’m talking to says, “Last week, I spoke in front of my biggest audience yet: about 5,000 people.” I’d echo back, “Woah, 5000 people!?”

8. Capture a Story-worthy Moment (Start A Story File)

Start a notes file on your phone. As funny or amusing things happen to you throughout the day, write a line or two about them on your list. Maybe one of those ideas can be developed into a funny story or anecdote.

A few recent ones on my list are:

✓ I took a Waymo in Phoenix right after giving a 60 minute speech. The Waymo was a more terrifying experience than the speech. Now I’m just waiting for flying cars.

✓ Peter is my book-nerd kid who always uses words correctly in context but mispronounces them. This week: “mi-lan-cha-lee” instead of “melancholy.”

✓ My kids do️ 10 minutes of chores after dinner every night. I asked Charlie (4) to put the dirty napkins in the wash, and he turned to me and said, “Why don’t you do it? You never do any chores!”

Funny moments are happening around us all the time. The challenge isn’t creating them—it’s noticing them and saving them before they disappear.

9. Turn On the Camera

Recently I was working with an attorney that shared he works in a company culture where he spends a lot of time on Zoom meetings where no one turns on their camera. One of his takeaways from me (that I’ll give to you, too) is turn your camera on.

I get it. Sometimes when I join a meeting I’ll pop mine off too so I can chug the last of a can of LaCroix without looking ridiculous, but your default should always be camera on. When your camera is on you can check out your background, see how your body language comes across virtually, and look like the active, intelligent professional that you are.

Important Note: If you’re the presenter via Zoom or another virtual platform, do yourself a favor and use the “Hide Self View” button. Seeing yourself while you’re presenting is taxing on your brain.

10. Apply the “Power Hour” to Your Speaking

In The Speak School, a regular challenge to my members is to spend a power hour focusing on the area where you are most stuck on your speech or in your speaking. A power hour can be used in a solid 60 minute chunk or 12 minutes a day M-F. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you make—even in a short burst of time.

My hutch didn’t get painted because I suddenly found more time or motivation. It got painted because I stopped trying to finish the whole project and simply took the next micro step. Becoming a better speaker works the same way.

Pick one micro step, practice it today, and let tomorrow’s improvement grow from today’s momentum.

Until next time, speak on!

Last Friday night, my husband and I went to see comedian (and speech coach!) Scott Bedgood. He was hilarious!

I first met Scott on LinkedIn. We did an initial Zoom coffee and then, in May, he joined me at The Speak School as a guest speaker. It was so fun to finally meet him in person.

One of my biggest takeaways was the reminder that not every joke you’ve planned for your presentation will land—and that’s okay! Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun with your content.

Write your next speech with confidence, clarity, and a proven framework.

At 520 Chestnut Street is a modest red-brick building. The building is old. The wooden floors creak. The doors are heavy. And the windows, despite renovations, still allow the icy air of long Pennsylvania winters to creep in around their edges.

If you were to see this building plopped down in any other city in any other part of the country, you wouldn’t think much of it.

But where it stands, and what happened within that small brick building, has changed my life and your life forever.

Big things usually have humble beginnings. And they usually start with one guy or gal who isn’t willing to live with the status quo any longer.

Independence Hall is the ultimate symbol of what it means to make your own rules. It is the birthplace of America. It was there that the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution were both debated and signed. It was here that America’s ethos—its character, its essence, its culture—was formed.

It was formed by everyday men—flawed, imperfect men who made mistakes. But when asked to live by rules that violated their principles, decided to make their own rules.

The Founders believed in moral order. They believed that society and government should abide by what they called, “The Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God.” Natural law is universal, meaning that it applies to all people. To go against natural law means you have to go against human nature.

Turns out, even the Founders knew you have to honor the law of gravity.

The Founders understood that to be truly happy and pursue happiness you must have two things. The first is that you must be a person of principle and character. John Adams regularly said that you can’t enjoy freedom without virtue. The second is that you must have a guiding set of principles to govern society by. Rules of liberty. Rules of freedom. Rules of democracy. Rules . . .

That government must be limited.

That the best way to fight tyranny is by having checks and balances.

That an individual has rights to free speech, freedom of religion, and due process of law.

That civil society is grounded in democracy—by the people and for the people.

That all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Fifty-six men would sign the Declaration of Independence in the sweltering summer of 1776. What makes the whole thing so remarkable is that in 1776 there was no other country in the world that embodied the blend of limited government, natural rights, and religious liberties that the Founders established.

It was a unique set of new rules. They created something they had never seen. They imagined a future that had never existed. They established a world in which they wanted future generations of children to live in.

These new rules started a revolution. They would be tested, added to, rebuked, questioned, and violently opposed by some. But these men held fast to their principles. They fought for something that mattered. They believed a better society and world was possible.

That small, red brick building at 520 Chestnut Street in Philadelphia, was the dawn of something new. And we became a country built on principles. Those 56 brave souls who made their own rules changed our lives—and the world—forever.

As Thomas Jefferson said: “I hold it that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing.”

This is our legacy.

The future will be defined by good men and women who live by principles, break the status quo, and make their own rules.

As we celebrate this historic 250th Independence Day, we're reminded that the men who stood in that sweltering room in 1776 were wildly imperfect. They possessed deep inconsistencies and flaws—just like all of us today. Yet, they dared to draft a blueprint for a better world.

Two and a half centuries later, we have to honestly recognize that as a nation, we still have a long way to go. Becoming the people and the country we set out to be is an ongoing journey. This July 4th, let’s celebrate how far we’ve come, extend grace to our shared imperfections, and recommit ourselves to doing the hard work of building that brighter future.

Until next time, happy birthday America—and speak on!

A couple weeks ago, I was in Denver for three days with a group of other business owners to brainstorm our businesses. The group calls themselves “The Avengers” (and although I’ve been a part of it for four years, I can’t remember why).

Shortly after quitting my job to start my own business, I was invited into this group of authors, speakers, and brilliant business owners—even though I’m pretty sure my only superpower is aggressively eliminating “um” and “uh” from the English language. Watch your back, filler words.

Anyway, I volunteered to create the itinerary for our weekend, partly because I can be a bit of a control freak and partly because I’m an Enneagram 7W8—meaning I like to have fun, and I like to have it now. We need to be efficient when it comes to our fun!

I also volunteered because I knew the first night would be perfect for something I’ve been wanting to do since I first saw it on Instagram months ago: conspiracy theory speeches.

The idea is simple: everyone shows up to a party ready to defend a conspiracy theory. Since I’m me, and I generally love things that are over the top, I decided to take the entire thing up a few notches.

And because I can honestly say this was one of the funniest things I’ve ever participated in, I’m going to tell you all about it in hopes that you, too, can create something equally epic in your life. (Because I want you to have more fun, and I want you to have it now.)

STEP 1: The Research

I researched the top conspiracy theories that people believe. This in itself is weird, wild, and amazingly entertaining. With the help of my AI friend Chatty G, I narrowed it down to the top six:

1. Birds Aren’t Real Birds are government surveillance drones. They sit on power lines to recharge like little wire-hugging spies.

2. The Moon is a Hologram The moon is not real. It’s a projection—a light, a vibe, a celestial screensaver.

3. Phantom Time Hypothesis It is actually the year 1729. The Early Middle Ages? Fabricated.

4. Denver Airport = Illuminati HQ Murals. Bunkers. Gargoyles. Nothing says “normal airport” like underground tunnels and apocalyptic horse statues.

5. Finland Doesn’t Exist It’s a fake country. Just ocean, fish, and lies. Google Maps is in on it.

6. The Big Mattress Conspiracy Why are there so many mattress stores? Nobody buys that many mattresses. Follow the foam. Follow the money laundering.

STEP 2: The Rules

On a Zoom call a month out from the event, I spun a randomized wheel to assign the theories. (I drew the Denver International Airport theory, which I now know is not a theory—it’s fact). And because no speech competition would be fun without some ridiculous constraints, I drafted a four-page rulebook. Here are a few highlights:

• You must present as if you hardcore believe in the theory

• You must stay within 5-ish minutes

• You must include a personal story (Preferably one that makes people think, Wait… is that true? Answer: it doesn’t matter.)

• You must include at least one “statistic” (You are strongly encouraged to add fake charts, circle things aggressively, and use arrows that point to nothing but feel important.)

• You must provide three pieces of “undeniable” evidence

• You must include a dramatic call to action

STEP 3: The T-Shirt Twist

Once I get going on an idea, I have a tendency to push it to its limits. Instead of just doing the conspiracy theory speeches, I started to think… What if I combined it with a funny t-shirt trend that people do in airports? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this clip.

Instead of doing the swap in the airport, we did it white elephant style right before the presentations. You could steal and swap, but no matter what shirt you ended up with, you had to wear it while delivering your speech. (As we all know, a great outfit can make or break a presentation.)

The Results:

On the flight to Denver, as I was going over my own speech, I actually began to feel nervous. Partially because I broke my own rule and hadn’t worked enough on my content or delivery, and partly because after getting deep in the weeds of my assigned theory, I wasn’t sure how I felt knowing I was about to come face-to-face with the airport gargoyles and stare into the eyes of Blucifer, wondering if Jay-Z really is behind the Illuminati.

But going into the night, frankly I had high expectations. I knew it would be fun and, if nothing else, a good kick off for the more serious discussions for the following days.

What I did not expect was how HILARIOUS of an evening it would be! I can honestly say I have not laughed this hard in years. With deadpan delivery, unyielding conviction, and insanely impressive slide decks, I heard power lines like:

“There are allegedly 5.6 million people in Finland. Name three.” (This whole speech was so good—Brian won hands down!

And then there were these:

“Someone is hiding the biggest loss imaginable…they lost the moon. You can’t land on a hologram.”

“The money laundering, the mob, the mattresses…Sonny Corleone…go to the mattresses…it’s part of our culture now…and that’s exactly where they want you to stop. But the mob is just layer one.”

And the t-shirts! If you’ve never considered doing a funny t-shirt exchange at your next holiday party, DO IT!

When I went to open mine (fate decreed which one I would open), imagine my utter shock to see my former boss Dave Ramsey’s face ALL OVER IT.

The Takeaway:

One of the best parts for me personally was the reminder that sometimes I just take myself too seriously. I can get so focused on my business, my life, and my passions that I forget to have fun. I needed a reminder that at the end of the day, speaking really is supposed to be fun.

I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever done a crazy presentation like this? More importantly, if you had to give a five-minute speech on a conspiracy theory right now, which one would you pick?

Until next time, speak on!

P.S. There are 12 Questions You Must Ask for a Killer Speech—click to get your FREE guide.

Last night I went to see Hamilton at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center and it was AMAZING. It’s been on my bucket list for years to see it. Beyond all of the incredible music and costumes, I was reminded that one of the very best things you can do for your speaking is to watch great performers outside of the speaking industry.

When you watch a Broadway show, you’re seeing masters of storytelling, pacing, emotion, and stage presence. When you watch a stand-up comedian, you’re studying timing, audience engagement, and how to recover when a joke doesn’t land.

The mistake many speakers make is only studying other speakers. But communication is bigger than public speaking. Every great stage performer is solving the same challenge: How do I capture attention, hold it, and make people feel something?

The next time you attend a concert, a play, or a comedy show, don’t just enjoy the performance. Study it. Ask yourself: What kept me engaged? What made that moment memorable? How did they create anticipation, tension, or laughter?

You’ll be surprised how many great tips you can pick up!

Speaking should be fun.

That's why I created Off the Cuff cards—52 prompts and questions designed to help you think on your feet, tell better stories, and actually enjoy practicing.

Buy Your Deck Now

I was halfway through my call when a bird flew overhead and pooped ALL OVER my keyboard!

Here’s photographic proof:

Somehow, I’d made it to my 40s and never been pooped on by a bird. In a state of pure panic, I did exactly what you would’ve done—I freaked out. I quickly turned off my camera and mic and ran inside and frantically tried to clean up my keyboard with a napkin.

After getting it clean enough, I went back outside to my coffee and rejoined the call.

No joke. The same bird (or a different bird?) flew over and pooped again! Not as bad this go ‘round, but here at least I thought to take a photo.

Again, I quickly wiped it off and kept going.

I was pooped on twice in a day! Totally ridiculous.

I finally wrapped up the call, and as I headed inside (for good! no more sitting outside for me) an older gentleman sitting in a rocker was cracking up and said,”Ma’am, I know it wasn’t funny for you, but that’s the best free entertainment I’ve had all week.”

I’ve been waiting for a good time to share this story with you and I already know that someday it’s going to make it into a speech. (I’ve already added it to my humor file.)

And that’s the thing about humor: funny moments are happening around us all the time. The challenge isn’t creating them—it’s noticing them and saving them before they disappear.

So, if you’d like to have a funnier summer, here are two simple things you can start doing today.

Start a Humor File

The hard part about humor is that when we go to add it to our speeches, our minds go blank.

Instead of coming up with something authentic or organic, we can find ourselves asking ChatGPT or Google for jokes. To avoid this, I want you to open your notes app on your phone and label it “Humor File.”

As funny or amusing things happen to you throughout the day (like not one, but two birds pooping on your—or a stranger’s—laptop), write a line or two about them on your list. Then, when you’re looking to add humor to your content, you have a reference point to start from.

Maybe one of those ideas can be developed into a funny story or anecdote. A few recent ones on my list are:

✔️ Last month, I submitted a baby photo of the wrong child for my son’s 8th grade graduation and didn’t realize it until it was too late

✔️ My daughter Brynnley told me she can’t wait to be an adult so she can just “boss people around”

✔️ My son came up with the name NAP time for the time he and his brother spend together (Noah and Peter). Without thinking about it, he said we can call ours DAM time (daddy and mommy). Now, we just say we need some DAMN time.

These lines might not mean anything to you. You may not even find them funny, but just looking at that list makes me laugh and I could develop them into something.

Instead of asking yourself what is funny, ask yourself what is true?

Most people think humor comes from clever punchlines. More often, it comes from noticing the little things that are strange, frustrating, awkward, or human. To do this:

✔️ Notice incongruities

• “This shirt is dry-clean only… which means it’s dirty.” – Mitch Hedberg

• “Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?” – George Carlin

✔️ Notice feelings

✔️ Notice your opinions

✔️ Notice what makes you cringe

✔️ Notice what makes you smile

The reason we love comedians is because they do this all the time—they point out the funny in the everyday.

In one of his best bits, Nate Bargatze breaks down the pure social anxiety of trying to order an iced coffee at an artisanal coffee shop. He just wants iced coffee with cream, but the barista totally confuses him with her questions. And then, when the drink arrives it’s different than he expected, and he leaves feeling embarrassed.

Nate’s deadpan reaction is so funny because it’s completely real: he just wanted a normal drink, but the modern world made it complicated. It’s funny because most of us have had that exact moment of micro-panic standing at a high-end coffee counter. We’ve all smiled and nodded through an interaction we didn’t fully understand.

Humor isn’t about writing stand-up material; it’s about paying attention to the everyday, awkward, cringey, and deeply human moments we all share.

So, open up that Notes app today. Title it “Humor File” and start capturing those little moments before they fade away.

The next time you’re working on your speech or creating a new presentation, look over the file and find one or two that might fit organically into your talk. Your future content (and your audience) will thank you.

And hey, if life decides to target you this week—or a couple of birds decide to use your laptop as a bathroom—at least you’ll get a great story out of it.

In fact, just a couple days after it happened to me, a friend shared with me that even King Charles is not exempt from bird poop.

I’d love to hear from you—has a bird ever pooped on you? Have you ever started a humor file? Tell me about it!

Until next time, speak on!

Over the last couple weeks I’ve had the opportunity to be on a couple of podcasts.

The first was on The Community Bank Podcast. I talked with host Caleb Stevens about how leaders can communicate with confidence, common mistakes leaders make when it comes to speaking, and how thoughtful storytelling can bring clarity. You can listen to it here.

The second was the Relentless Pursuit YouTube channel with Marjorie Dudley. This one we dove deeper into my story—why I quit my job, what running my own business has been like, and public speaking tips you can apply today in your leadership. You can watch it here.

You know that moment when you’ve been put on the spot and your mind goes blank?

My Off the Cuff Cards give you 52 creative prompts designed to help you practice impromptu speaking anytime, anywhere.

Great speakers aren’t born, they’re practiced—and this is by far the most fun way to get your reps in.

Buy Now

During the first year of our marriage we attended 14 weddings—and one of the two of us were actually in 11 of them. (Spoiler alert: When the bride says, “I picked this dress because you’ll totally wear it again,” it’s a lie. There are very few occasions in life that call for a strapless, floor-length chiffon gown in dusty rose.)

Now, we’re in a wedding lull, waiting for a few free-spirited friends in their 40s to finally settle down (or for our kids to grow up).

But I love weddings. Between the vows, the music, the food, drinks, cake, dancing, and all the happy people, it’s a great time.

It won’t surprise any of you that one of my favorite parts of any wedding are the toasts. I just love a great speech!

Sadly, a lot of toasts aren’t great speeches. 😬

Instead, they meander. They’re too emotional, not funny enough, or the speaker talks so softly you can’t hear them over the clinking of forks.

Part of the problem is that most of us were never taught how to give a specialty speech (a speech that marks a significant moment). We don’t even think about it until we’re actually giving one. (I speak from experience—I gave a rather cringy matron of honor speech in 2015 that I still ruminate on.)

So with wedding season upon us, I’m going to break down how to give a great toast. Whether you’re the maid of honor, best man, or parent of the bride or the groom, this is your opportunity to give an awesome speech. Although this newsletter focuses on wedding toasts, most of these principles apply to any meaningful speech.

How to Give a Great Wedding Toast

1. Remember your job

The point of a wedding toast is to honor the bride and the groom. Your primary goal is to highlight who they are for those who don’t know them as well, not to rehash every embarrassing college story, make it about you, or impress your date.

🚫 “Lil and I took Spanish together in school, and so I would just like to say to you and to everyone here: Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en... en la azul...markada.” – Kristen Wiig, “Bridesmaids” (2011)

If you’re the best man, your job is to make the groom seem amazing to the bride’s family and friends.

If you’re the maid of honor, your job is to make the bride seem amazing to the groom’s family and friends.

If you’re the parent of the Bride or Groom: Your job is to be the emotional anchor of the evening. (No pressure!) Yes, you’re celebrating your child, but your toast is really about something bigger: welcoming a new person into your family and acknowledging all the people who showed up to witness this moment. It’s less about giving a performance and more about creating a feeling everyone in the room can settle into.

• Parent of the Bride: Traditionally, you’re acting as the host of the evening — thanking guests for being there, setting the tone, and honoring this huge transition. The best toasts balance pride, nostalgia, and excitement for what’s ahead — without sounding like you’re “giving her away.”

• Parent of the Groom: Your role is to celebrate the man your son has become while warmly welcoming his partner into the family. This is a wonderful opportunity to share a glimpse of who he’s always been — the qualities that make him such a good partner now — and to thank the bride and her family. The tone can be heartfelt, joyful, even lightly funny, but at its core, this toast should feel like a big embrace.

  ---

2. Pick a theme

When you think about the bride or groom, what is the character trait you most admire in them that you want to highlight?

Is it that they are loyal? Consistent? Ambitious? Outgoing? Honest? Funny? Kind? Adventurous?

Choose one and make it the theme for the rest of your speech.

Parent Tip: As a parent, you have the vantage point of time. Your theme can bridge the past and the future. Think about a trait they had as a child that has matured into adulthood.

Were they always fiercely protective? Incredibly stubborn (now rephrased as “determined”)? Naturally nurturing? Pick the trait that made you think, “Ah, they are going to make an incredible partner one day.”

3. Brainstorm content

When you think about your friend and the theme you’ve picked, what stories come to mind?

Here are a few questions to get you thinking:

• How did you meet?

• What was your first impression of them? Was it accurate?

• Why are you best friends?

• What’s something they’ve taught you about love or friendship?

• If their love story were a movie, what would the title be? (Think funny, not sappy.)

You may need to brainstorm a few times to come up with the best content.

💡Pro-tip: When brainstorming what stories you will share, don’t rely on inside jokes or details that no one in the audience will get. Instead, tell it in a way that allows the audience to be a part of the story or joke.

Parent Brainstorming Prompts: Since you can’t talk about college road trips, try these prompts instead:

• What is a specific childhood memory that captures their essence?

• What was the moment you realized your child was genuinely changing, growing, or happier because of their new spouse?

• What is a piece of marriage advice you’ve lived by that you want to pass down to them?

💡Pro-tip: Avoid listing a generic resume of their childhood achievements (sports trophies, straight A’s). The guests want to hear about who they are, not just what they did.

4. Edit for Grandma

That keg stand in college? EPIC.

That crazy night in 2014? HILARIOUS.

But if you wouldn’t say it in front of your Grandma, don’t say it in front of theirs. (Save that story for the bachelor/bachelorette party.)

Parents, edit for the couple: While the wedding party needs to edit for Grandma, parents need to edit for the couple. Avoid bringing up exes, old family dramas, or teasing them about how long it took them to get married or settle down. Keep the focus entirely on the beautiful future ahead of them, not the awkward bumps of the past.

5. Pick a structure

Here’s one you can use:

• Context: Who are you and why are you giving the toast?

• Character: Go back to your theme. What’s one word that perfectly describes them? What’s something they’ve always been known for? A small quirk or habit that makes them them? How do they make people feel when they’re around?

• Content: Share 1-3 quick stories that illustrate that character trait

• Close: Give a benediction for the couple, raise your glasses, and clink 🥂

  • “May your life together be filled with more laughter than arguments, more adventures than routines, and a love that grows stronger with each passing day. Here’s to a lifetime of joy, partnership, and unforgettable memories—cheers!”

The Parent Structure:

• Welcome & Gratitude: Thank the guests, the venue, and your new in-laws.

• The Past: A quick, heartwarming story of your child growing up.

• The Pivot: The moment the new spouse entered the picture and how they changed your child’s life for the better.

• The Welcome: Explicitly look at your new son or daughter-in-law and tell them how thrilled you are to have them in the family.

• The Blessing: A toast of wisdom and love for their future.

6. Practice it

Love your best friend enough not to wing this one. Practice it. Give it to someone else. Get feedback and reiterate.

Don’t just emote for five minutes about how great they are and how much you love them, but also tell us the why behind that love and behind who they are.

Remember, a great wedding toast should come from both heart and head.

🚫 “True love is the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another... [long pause] You know, I read that at a Hallmark store.” – Owen Wilson, “Wedding Crashers” (2005)

Parents: It is completely okay to get emotional. Your baby is getting married! If you feel your throat tightening up during the toast, take a sip of water, look at the audience (not your child), take a deep breath, and continue.

A few more delivery tips:

• Limit alcohol beforehand - Many a wedding speech has been derailed by one too many glasses of champagne. Hold off on getting toasted until after you’ve toasted.

• Take up minimal or no notes - Speak from the heart, don’t read from a card

• Speak into the mic - Even the best toast falls flat if no one can hear you.

• Make eye contact – engage the couple and guests

• Smile and enjoy it – If you’re relaxed, the audience will be too.

I’d love to hear from you: what do you think makes a great wedding toast? Hit reply or let me know in the comments!

P.S. Do you enjoy this newsletter? If so, forward it to a friend and tell them to subscribe at thespeakshop.com!

Every year I look to see which commencement speeches will pop.

This year had a lot of expected moments: motivational platitudes, speeches that were read (👎🏼), and a lot of speakers discussing AI. But the one that went viral is Eric Church’s commencement address at UNC Chapel Hill. In case you haven’t seen it yet, you can watch it here.

What made this speech great is that it was so authentic. He brought his acoustic guitar to the stage and mapped his life lessons to its six strings. It was heartfelt, humble, and anchored his wisdom to his professional talent.

And what a creative use of a prop! Not only his guitar, but the music too. He broke from the typical commencement speech mold and created an unexpected experience for the audience.

It’s a reminder to all of us that audiences love the speakers who respect them enough to be their authentic selves!

If the thought of giving a wedding toast makes your palms sweat, you’re not alone. That’s why I created my Off the Cuff cards, so you can learn to think faster on your feet, organize your thoughts, and still sound like yourself when all eyes are on you. Because the best speeches aren’t the most polished — they’re the ones that feel genuine, relaxed, and prepared.

Buy Yours Now

Of course, I know the time has passed. But, in my head, I’m still a vibrant 20-something.

In reality, I’m a suburban mom driving a minivan that features both a ‘stick family’ and a desperate #IUsedToBeCool bumper sticker, which we all know is the international sign for someone who definitely is not cool.

However, I am proud of where my career has taken me. I’m one of the rare birds who actually got a degree in the field I work in. I was a Speech major in college (which, more aptly named, would have been Rhetorical and Public Address).

I spent hours pouring over rhetorical devices and theories, studied Aristotle (who wrote the OG public speaking book in 367 BCE called Rhetoric), and dissected the speeches of Edward Everett, Daniel Webster, and Abraham Lincoln.

If you ever want to nerd out on all of this with me, just let me know.

Language is interesting because it changes and evolves so much over time. The formality that orators of the past delivered has been replaced by faster-paced, casually delivered content.

New words are introduced every year—not just by kids in middle school (can I get an amen that the “skibidi” and “6-7” trends are over?), but also culturally and collectively. Words like Tradwife, Rizz, and Femtech are used by adults in professional scenarios.

As a speech coach, I believe one thing that will never change is the ability to elevate your communication through descriptive language.

In high school, we learned about rhetorical devices like metaphors, hyperbole, and onomatopoeia. (Such a fun word to say!)
​
But if you live the real world (and you’re not a professional writer), they probably fell to the wayside.

It’s time to bring them back! Because they’re not just powerful in writing, they’re also incredibly powerful in your speech.

Here’s are six rhetorical tools and how to use them to punch a point, add humor, help your audience visualize a concept, or bring your story to life.

​

1. Simile: Compare two unrelated things using “like” or “as”

🚫Having kids makes it hard to keep the house clean.

✅ “Having kids is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

​

🚫Watching five-year-olds play soccer drives me crazy. They all go for the ball at the same time.

✅ Watching five-year-olds play soccer is like rolling a ball down the field and then tipping over a box of puppies and sending them after it.

​

🚫We won’t stop until we get justice.

✅ “We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” – MLK, I Have a Dream Speech

​2. Metaphor: Use one thing to represent something else

🚫 The crowd was huge—about 40,000 people.

✅ The crowd was so big that it could have filled Madison Square Gardens—twice.

​

🚫 America has dared to go into space.

✅ “America has tossed its cap over the wall of space.” – J.F. Kennedy

​

🚫 One day, I hope that Mississippi will become a place of freedom and justice.

✅ “I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering in the heat of oppressions, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.” – MLK, I Have a Dream Speech

​

🚫 What light through yonder window breaks? It’s Juliet.

✅“What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Juliet is the sun!” – Romeo

​3. Hyperbole: Put simply, use exaggeration

🚫 Starting your own business means wearing a lot of hats.

✅ “As a solopreneur, I’m the CEO, marketer, accountant, tech support, social media manager, and occasionally the office therapist.” – Me! 👋🏼

​

🚫 Life is hard. Suck it up, kid.

✅“When I was your age, I walked two miles to school, in three feet of snow, uphill both ways!” – Grandparents everywhere

​

One quick and easy use of hyperbole: A “million” anything. It’s such a huge number that it’s an effective way to punch just about any point.

🚫 I’m too busy to work on my speech.

✅ I’ve got a million things to do today, and working on my speech isn’t one of them.

​4. Onomatopoeia: Use words that make your audience “hear” the sound

🚫 My toddler was awake before sunrise.

✅ At 5:12 a.m. this morning, I heard thump, thump, thump… “Mommmm!” My toddler was officially awake.

​

🚫 The first thing I look forward to each morning is a cup of coffee.

✅ My favorite morning ritual starts with the sputter and hiss of the coffeemaker and ends with caffeine-fueled optimism.

​

Popular examples of onomatopoeia:

• Rice Krispies: Snap! Crackle! Pop!

• Alka-Seltzer: Plop, Plop, Fizz Fizz

• “I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke; I’m sure that my left leg is broke…” Sick, by Shell Silverstein (Sidenote: This is also fun hyperbole.)

​5. Personification: When opportunity knocks 😉, give personality to something inanimate

🚫 Like most writers, I suffer from writer’s block.

✅ When writer’s block hits, I sit at my laptop and stare. The keyboard laughs at me. Headlines taunt me as I scroll.

​

🚫 I left the light on in my car, and the next day it wouldn’t start.

✅ I left the light on in my car. By morning, it was as dead as a doornail. (Note: This is also a simile.)

​

Example of personification from speeches:

✅ “… Father Time has caught up with me. First he took my arm, then he took my hair, then he took the color from my beard. But he cannot take the great friendships and memories I have from being a baseball player.” – Bruce Sutter, Baseball Hall of Fame Induction Address

✅ “I’ve said throughout the campaign that there are two entities that have the most to fear from us winning this election. One is corruption and the other is incompetence. If you happen to see either of them, let them know the party is over.” – Bobby Jindal, Louisiana Governor-Elect Victory Speech

​6. Alliteration: Repeat consonant sounds or similar sounds to create emphasis

🚫 She wrapped the baby tightly in a blanket.

✅ She wrapped up that baby until it was as snug as a bug in a rug.

​

Examples of alliteration from speeches:

✅ “We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths — that all of us are created equal — is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall…” – Barack Obama, 2nd Inaugural Speech

✅ “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” – J.F. Kennedy

✅ “You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” – Shonda Rhimes, TED Talk: My Year of Saying Yes to Everything

✅ “Let us go forth to lead the land we love.” – J.F. Kennedy

​

These literary tools can bring personality, life, and laughter to your talk. They can transform your ideas into vivid, relatable images and make your words memorable.

Which one is your favorite? Which one do you use the most? I’d love to hear from you—just hit reply or let me know in the comments.

Until next week, speak on!

On Tuesday, I had the opportunity to speak in Atlanta at the Chick-fil-A Impact Accelerator conference for a room full of nonprofit leaders—and wow, what a group! I left feeling deeply inspired by the people in that room and the work they’re doing to change lives and communities every day.

Of course, like many live speaking events, it wasn’t perfect.

Just before my session, I ran into formatting issues with my slide deck thanks to a tech glitch. My stress level definitely spiked for a minute, but arriving early gave me the buffer I needed to troubleshoot and fix it before anyone noticed.

Second, I learned (again) how much speakers rely on timing cues. Without a visible clock, I thought I was running long and cut a five-minute writing exercise on the fly. Turns out, I actually had the time to keep it in.

And finally, I broke one of my own cardinal speaking rules: never wear brand-new shoes on presentation day.

Not only did I wear a new pair for the first time, but I wore them for a full day on my feet. By the end of the conference, my feet were screaming and I had blisters on both pinky toes. (But the shoes did look good!)

Speaking is never just about delivering content. Every event is a chance to evaluate, adjust, and improve.

In last week’s newsletter, I shared the “postmortem” process I use after every talk to make the next one stronger. If you missed it, you can check it out here.

Help Your Team Speak with Clarity and Confidence

Whether it’s a two-minute elevator pitch, a high-stakes investor presentation, or a keynote in front of hundreds, I help your team communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact.

In my interactive workshops, I lead groups through everything they need to know to succeed at public speaking–including storytelling, use of humor, and building instant rapport.

Interested in bringing me to your office? Let’s talk!

GET IN TOUCH

Early in my career, as soon as I’d get done speaking, I’d spend hours overthinking everything I did or didn’t say.

Like the way a humor line landed (or didn’t).

Or why I over-use the filler phrase “Okay, so…” (one audience member once told me she thought I was talking about “queso” the whole time).

Or, on a good day, I’d overestimate how brilliant I had been.

Basically, I’ve always been one to overthink.

Over the years, I’ve learned to do a much better job at self-evaluating my speaking.

That’s likely because I’ve spent a career listening to other people’s talks—always looking for the good that can be leveled-up to great, and for the spots that aren’t as clear and compelling as they could be.

I’ve learned how to ask better questions and give better answers.

These days, I use a framework called The Four Helpfuls. Although I’d love to take credit for it, I learned it from the Entreleadership team at Ramsey Solutions during my time there. Here’s how I apply it to my speaking (and how you can, too).

RIGHT: What went right?

Looking back over your last speaking engagement, what went right that you want to replicate again in the future?

For me, I did a handful of things really well last week:

• I had great pre-event meetings with the organizers and was clear on the topics and their goals for bringing me in. (AI tip: I have the Fathom notetaker join all my Zooms—this way, it’s easy to reference the video or transcript and distill it to the core ideas even weeks or months later.)

• I hired a speech coach. Even though I am a speech coach, I know I’m too close to my content. So I hired Will Greenblatt, who specializes in workshop speaking. Comically, he gave me the same advice I give all my clients: “You’re trying to cover way too much. You need to cut some content.” Not only did I hire Will, I also ran my speech through my amazing contractor Jacci a week prior to delivering it so I could get feedback and refine it.

• I tried new content and was off-notes. I didn’t rest on my laurels and instead tried new stories, stats, and framing. This was energizing for me because I love testing out new material. I was also predominantly off-notes. (The more off notes you are, the better your body language and delivery.)

• I got everyone speaking numerous times. As speakers, we sometimes like to believe that our presentation is all about us. It’s not. It’s always about the audience. I was happy with how much I got everyone up and speaking in front of the group, and with the growth I saw in a single day!

• I stuck around after speaking. I always want to do this, but it doesn’t always work out due to flights. In this case, I had dinner with a couple of attendees afterwards. The intel and insights they had about what worked well, and suggestions they gave me, were pure GOLD. (For example, why don’t I have an easy-to-apply activity on how to reduce filler words directly integrated into my content?!). Had I followed up later after the event (even with a phone call), the feedback wouldn’t have been as fresh or as helpful.

• I had a great outfit. Vain? Maybe. True? Yes.

WRONG: What went wrong?

Guess what? Not everything I said or did worked. Welcome to being a speaker.

When evaluating what went wrong in any speech (mine or someone else’s), I always like to ask, was this a unique-to the-day thing or something that can be fixed for a future talk?

Sometimes crazy things do happen (a button pops off your blazer while speaking, a fire alarm goes off, or you’re off your game because you’re sick), but even in those cases, there’s usually a lesson there you can learn for your next presentation.

What went wrong for me:

• Not enough content. Ironically, I cut so deep into my content that I ended up improvising on the fly. I’m proud of what I did improvise, but it would have been stronger if I’d had better time management estimation on the front end.

• My laptop placement. I placed my lectern to the side of the projector. I set my laptop on a table on the other side of the projector (so it wouldn’t block my face). Due to the length of the workshop, it kept going to sleep. This is such an easy fix, I feel like a moron telling you about it now. Why didn’t I just change the settings or move my laptop closer to me rather than crossing the room to make adjustments every time? Dumb.

• I didn’t record it or get good photos. Without a recording, I can’t rewatch to evaluate my own performance. I could easily have set up a tripod that I literally had in my purse, but I didn’t. I also got so caught up in the moment, I didn’t think to take any photos except this one after the bulk of attendees had left.

  

• My close. I tried a new close more tailored to my audience, but then I didn’t nail it. Embarrassingly, that was one of the few points where I needed to reference my notes! For a knockout close, you always want to be off-notes. Next time, I’ll either practice my close more or do something else.

MISSING: What was missing?

It’s always good to determine if it felt like your speech was missing something and consider how you can add it for next time.

In this case, my presentation was missing two things:

• Humor. I had some—a lot, actually! But not enough for five hours. Next time, I want to be sure to have way more integrated in. And, I needed more humor after lunch. I came in too serious.

• Missing story. If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that I love my potato chip story. (If you haven’t heard it, you should always eat potato chips before speaking as the salt eats away at phlegm, the oil lubricates your throat, and the grease settles your stomach). I didn’t share it because, topically, it didn’t fit. Big miss. This story is iconically me and it should have been included in such a long presentation. I could have taken the time to make it fit, I just didn’t.

CONFUSED: What was confusing?

It’s always good to ask what was confusing (to you as the speaker, but especially to your audience).

In my case, a couple things stood out.

• How much time did I have? I didn’t fully clarify how lunch was being handled prior to the speaking day. As a result, I had more time to present than I thought—great news! Except, I had just strategically cut a bunch of my content. It was a good reminder to me to always be crystal clear on the speaking time and what all it includes (breaks, Q&A, etc.)

• My workbook didn’t match the content. I created an accompanying workbook. This was right, but the execution was confusing. Since I was improvising content on the fly, I was teaching things that weren’t in the workbook (and there wasn’t enough room in the workbook to take notes). Also, the workbook didn’t mirror my slides, which led to a couple confused moments for the audience. It was a reminder that, when using a workbook, it needs to be clean and crisp and perfectly mirror the slide deck.

Taking the time to evaluate a presentation (and even using a tool like Talkadot to let your audience evaluate it) is important to grow as a speaker. If you’re like me, it’s easy to go from thing to thing, event to event, without taking time to really reflect on what was right, wrong, missing, or confused.

In the end, I’d give myself a solid B+ for my workshop. Next time, I’ll make it an A.

One final thought: Regardless of how well or how poorly I do, I always tell myself, Eva, don’t overestimate how memorable you are.

Sometimes you NAIL it. Sometimes you don’t. But even if for some crazy reason you totally bomb a speech, remind yourself that most people will go home and think about their own problems—not yours.

Move forward and don’t harp on your mistakes. Instead, start preparing for your next opportunity and do what you need to do to bring your best to the stage.

I’d love to hear from you. How do you evaluate your talks once you’re done? Reply to this email or let me know in the comments!

P.S. Do you enjoy this newsletter? If so, forward it to a friend and tell them to subscribe at thespeakshop.com!

King Charles III is wrapping up his visit to the U.S. and his speech to Congress is the talk of the town. What I loved most was how masterfully he used humor to connect with his audience. Here are few of those moments:

• He immediately set the tone, opening with a classic joke about how Britain and America “have nearly everything in common these days… except of course language.”

• He acknowledged the elephant in the room, assuring Congress he was “not here to reclaim anything,” then referenced the Revolution as “just the other day” from a British perspective (a jab at how young the U.S. is—even in our 250^th year).

• He riffed on Charles Dickens, calling our shared history “‘A Tale of Two Georges’: the first President, George Washington, and my five-times great-grandfather, King George III.” A nerdy historical joke—but Congress loved it.

By mixing British wit with references Congress would instantly recognize, the king built connection with his audience first. Then, when he got to the more serious stuff, it landed with authority.

The takeaway for all of us: A humble sense of humor can be the ultimate power move.

Check out his full speech HERE.

Help Your Team Speak with Clarity and Confidence

Whether it’s a two-minute elevator pitch, a high-stakes investor presentation, or a keynote in front of hundreds, I help your team communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact.

In my interactive workshops, I lead groups through everything they need to know to succeed at public speaking–including storytelling, use of humor, and building instant rapport.

Interested in bringing me to your office? Let’s talk!

GET IN TOUCH

What’s right, right now?

She used this line throughout her talk and it became a call for the audience to remember the seasonality of their lives and reflect on how they were managing their time. Ultimately, it helped them focus on the next step instead of overthinking the whole journey.

Most people think a great speech comes down to having a powerful story, depth of expertise, and an iconic framework for their ideas.

All of these things matter, which is why they’re the basis of every great signature talk.

But there’s a piece that often gets overlooked: having a key memorable sticky statement for your talk.

The one line that people remember long after you’ve finished speaking.

Because it’s not just about what you say. It’s about how people hold on to it after you’ve said it.

A Big Idea That Sticks

If your audience forgets everything else, what’s the one core idea—the principle, belief, or phrase—that you want them to remember?

That’s the question at the heart of finding your sticky statement.

A strong sticky phrase does three things:

• It distills something complex into a clear takeaway

• It gives your audience language they can repeat

• It turns your story or expertise into something usable

You’re not just sharing your ideas—you’re giving people a handle to carry it with them.

Here are a few iconic examples from history that you’ll probably recognize (because they work):

• “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Lord Acton

• “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” John F. Kennedy

• “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

Modern sticky lines differ slightly from the oratorical giants of the past because they tend to focus more on concept-branding. Instead of just being one-liners, they’re like idea-shorthands that summarize an entire concept in three to seven words.

Here are a few modern examples:

• Start With Why (Simon Sinek)
  A full leadership philosophy, distilled into three words.

• The 1% Rule (James Clear)
  Small improvements, compounded over time.

• The Let Them Theory (Mel Robbins)
  Stop controlling—let people learn through experience.

Each of these takes something expansive and makes it instantly graspable. Repeatable. Actionable.

What Makes a Sticky Phrase Work?

Here’s the catch: not every short phrase is memorable. And not every memorable phrase is useful.

The ones that stick—and actually shape how people think and act—tend to share a few key traits:

• Simple: You understand it the first time you hear it. No unpacking required.

• Concrete: It’s clear and specific enough to picture or apply.

• Patterned: There’s a rhythm to it. Sometimes it’s repetition, contrast, or a question, but it sounds good when you say it out loud.

• Portable: It travels. Someone can use it in a meeting, a conversation, or a decision without needing your full talk for context.

• True: It reflects something people already sense—but haven’t put into words yet.

If your phrase checks most of these boxes, you’re on the right track.

Where to Start

At this point, you might be thinking: This sounds great… but how do I actually come up with one?

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to invent it from scratch.

In fact, the best sticky phrases are usually already hiding in how you naturally talk about your ideas.

Start by paying attention to your own language:

What do you say all the time?
What do people repeat back to you?
What’s the line you use when you really want something to land?

You might also notice patterns—certain ways you explain things, or metaphors you come back to again and again. Those are signals.

Once you’ve landed on a core idea, here are a few steps to help you distill it down and make it stronger.

1. Write your idea in one sentence
Don’t overthink it. Just get the full thought out of your head and onto the page.

2. Cut what’s unnecessary
What’s the core of that sentence? Remove anything that isn’t essential to the meaning.

3. Elevate it

Once you have a clear idea or phrase, the next step is making it stickier.

In one of my favorite books on public speaking, Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln, James C. Humes shares a simple tool for elevating a good line into a memorable one: C.R.E.A.M.

Here’s what each letter of C.R.E.A.M. stands for:

5. Have AI help you.

Don’t outsource your thought leadership to AI before you take a first pass on coming up with your own ideas. Instead use it as a tool to brainstorm and refine your own power line.

6. Test it in real life
Use it. In a conversation, a meeting, a piece of content. Notice what people repeat back, or what you keep coming back to.

Remember, you’re not just looking for something that sounds good, you’re looking for something that sticks—for you and for the people you’re speaking to.

Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t just to give a great talk.

It’s to leave your audience with something they can take with them. And often, that starts with a few well-chosen words.

I’d love to hear from you—do you have a sticky phrase that holds your talk together? Hit reply or let’s talk in the comments!

Until next time, speak on!

Just this week (April 14, 2026), NASA astronaut Christina Koch delivered a stirring speech after returning from the Artemis II mission around the moon. It’s currently trending because of how she redefined a common word: crew.

Koch admitted that when she was asked what “crew” meant before the mission, she gave a pretty useless answer.

But, after seeing planet Earth through the window of the space shuttle, like a “lifeboat hanging undisturbingly in the blackness,” she reframed humanity not as a collection of nations, but as a singular crew.

She ended with a powerful, sticky phrase (using a metaphor): “Planet Earth, you are a crew.”

What I took away from Christina is how speaking moments can become iconic when a speaker takes a word we all know (crew) and expands its definition to become something much, much bigger.

With Off the Cuff Cards, you’ll get 52 questions to help you practice your impromptu speaking—anytime, anywhere.

Think faster on your feet.

Become a better storyteller.

Find your authentic brand of funny.

Get Your Deck Today

Last week alone, I sat with the heavy silence of a story about the broken foster care system. I navigated the sharp frustration of a client being fired. I learned about the technical nightmare of navigating probate court without a will. And, most unexpectedly, I discovered the philosophical lessons hidden in a Domino’s pizza delivery.

Most of the stories I hear are almost there, but not quite. They’re missing something.

Sometimes, it’s emotion.

Other times, it’s a clear point.

Sometimes, it’s too long with too much build up. Other times, it’s too short without enough.

As an objective ear who isn’t too close to your content, I can usually pinpoint fairly quickly what a story needs to make it memorable and magnificent.

So, as someone who’s heard and helped craft hundreds of stories in my career, I want to share what I’ve learned with you. That’s why I created my nine-question framework to craft better stories.

(In my last newsletter, I broke down four storytelling secrets great speakers use. Missed it? Read it here.)

Let’s jump in!

1. What Happened? (Just the facts, ma’am.)

Chronologically list the events. No analysis—just a clear timeline.

Then, as you look back over the timeline, describe the key moment in 1–2 sentences. What is the story actually about?

Example: “I bombed my first presentation in front of my boss and 30 team members. My mind went blank and I stood there frozen for what felt like an eternity.”

2. What Did I Think When It Happened?

What was going through your mind? Include rational, instinctive, or conflicted thoughts.

Write down word-for-word what you were thinking in the moment.

Example: “I thought, ‘I’m not cut out for this. I should just quit now before I embarrass myself further.’”

3. How Did I Feel When It Happened?

Dig into your emotional response. Be honest and descriptive. Go beyond surface-level and get specific. Use a “feelings wheel” to help you determine what you were feeling.

Example: “I felt ashamed, exposed, and deeply disappointed in myself.”

4. What Was Happening with My Five Senses?

Be as vivid and sensory-rich as possible.

• What did you see?

• What did you hear?

• What did you smell?

• What did you taste?

• What did you feel?

Example: “My palms were slick with sweat, the fluorescent lights buzzed above me, and I could feel the heat rising in my face.”

5. Where Should I Start My Story?

Don’t default to telling your story in a linear fashion. A happened, then B happened, etc. Instead, think like a movie director. Where’s the moment in your story that will hook your audience? Often it’s right at the center of the action.

💡 Pro tip: Starting deeper into your story is also a great way to shorten it and cut extraneous details that don’t drive the story forward.

6. Do I Need to Add in Heart or Humor?

Ask yourself: Does this story move people emotionally or make them laugh? Could it do both?

A good story takes your listeners on a journey and helps them see things from a new perspective. To learn more about how to add heart, check out this TED Talk from David J. Phillips.

And, according to 12,000-person study done by Oracle, “91% of people prefer brands to be funny and 72% would choose a brand that uses humor over the competition.”

Brainstorm how you might add heart or humor.

💡Pro tip: Before relying on ChatGPT (or any other tool), I encourage you to write your story out in your own words. When you’re done, you can drop it in AI and ask “Can you make this story for my speech funnier?” If nothing else, it might give you inspiration!

7. What’s the Point of This Story?

Your story should have just one main point. More than one will confuse your audience. Here’s a few questions you can ask yourself to help narrow it down:

What is the universal truth (the thing everyone can relate to) in my story?

Is there an emotion you want your audience to feel?

Then, finish this sentence: I’m telling this story because…

Example: “I’m telling this story because we think failure defines us. But often, it refines us.”

8. What Should I Cut?

Consider cutting parts of your speech that don’t serve the message, emotion, or flow. Go through your story and highlight any part that:

• Is redundant

• Distracting (e.g. irrelevant or boring details)

• Over explains

• Doesn’t support your (one) main idea
  

People often ask me how long a good story should be. That can depend on a lot of different factors, but a 2-3 minute story is a good length to open up most talks.

9. Did I close every loop I opened?

If you opened a loop within your story (maybe you started building up to an idea or introduced a person/character), you need to make sure you close it.

If you introduced a detail, emotion, or question, make sure you resolve it.

Here’s the full story using these questions:

I stood in front of the team, laser pointer in hand, praying the batteries would die so I could run. It was my first big presentation, and two slides in, my brain betrayed me. Nothing. Blank. I forgot everything I was supposed to say.

Inside, my thoughts spiraled: “This is it. I’m not built for this. I’m done.”

My face burned. My hands were shaking. I could feel the sweat pooling under my blazer. The fluorescent lights buzzed like a bad game show countdown. I heard someone cough in the back row and it sounded like thunder.

In a moment of panic, I tried to recover with a joke: “I’m either about to give the worst presentation of the year... or an incredible performance art piece. We’ll find out together.” A few people chuckled—politely. Mostly, they just looked concerned.

I managed to mumble something about “circling back later,” and sat down with my heart pounding in my throat.

Later that night, my 6-year-old daughter crawled into my lap and asked, “Did you make them proud today?” I told her I didn’t know—but I would try again. [heart]

That moment became my origin story, not my ending. I practiced. I took a class. I even forced myself to speak at the company holiday party—which is a true test of nerves when there’s an open bar. [humor]

Two years later, I was training new hires—on presentation skills. The thing I once bombed at became the thing I taught others to do.

I’m telling this story because we think failure defines us. But often, it refines us.

So if you’ve ever bombed in front of a room full of people—good. That’s your first draft. Keep writing.

Sometimes your worst moment is just the setup for your best one.

Not every story you share in your speech needs to be about you. If it’s someone else’s story, you can interview that person directly. If you don’t know them, or they’re no longer alive, do your research! (Dig deep. It takes work, but adds credibility and depth to you and your content.)

I’d love to hear from you! What is your favorite story to tell? Do you have any other questions you’d add to this list?

Until next week speak on!

P.S. Want to dig deeper? Here are four of my favorite books on the art of storytelling:

• Storyworthy by

• Stories that Stick: How Storytelling Can Captivate Customers, Influence Audiences, and Transform Your Business by Kindra Hall

• Building a Storybrand 2.0: Clarify Your Message so Customers will Listen by Donald Miller

• How to Tell a Story: The Essential Guide to Memorable Storytelling from The Moth

Last Saturday, my son Peter asked if we could take a Bob Ross painting class at our local parks and rec center. I said yes, of course!

It was a blast. Also, don’t worry—I won’t be quitting my day job to pursue my artistic talents any time soon.

In case you’re wondering, the purple tornadoes are supposed to be trees. 🤣

This experience took me down the Bob Ross rabbit hole. Watching him isn’t just about learning to paint; it’s a masterclass in audience connection.

While most speakers try to ‘command’ a room, Bob invited us into one. He understood that a speaking style doesn’t have to be loud. He leaned into a persona that was genuine, calm, and patient. He didn’t just deliver information; he created an environment where you felt safe enough to learn and fail. In his words, there are, “No mistakes. Just happy accidents.”

You know that moment when you’ve been put on the spot and your mind goes blank?

My Off the Cuff Cards give you 52 creative prompts designed to help you practice impromptu speaking anytime, anywhere.

Great speakers aren’t born, they’re practiced—and this is by far the most fun way to get your reps in.

Buy Yours Now

Even though the series is over, I still find myself wondering how the “Big Three” are doing. Is Randall still giving ten-minute monologues somewhere? Is Kate finally at peace with who she is?

And can we talk about Kevin for a second?

Seeing Justin Hartley in Tracker does not work for me. My brain can’t process the sensitive, loveable, and often relapsing Kevin Pearson suddenly being a survivalist who tracks people and masters a compass.

One reason I loved This Is Us was because the storytelling and the character development was SO good.

To this day, every time I turn on the 80s Crock-Pot I paid $5 for at a garage sale, I think of that scene where their home goes up in flames. (Jack Pearson deserved better, and my Crock-Pot will not be taking me out—I now always triple-check that I’ve unplugged it.)

I’m not a TV writer, but I spend a lot of my life obsessing over how to tell better stories.

We’re only a few months into the year, and I’ve already spent countless hours helping clients shape and share their stories more effectively.

Steve Jobs once said, “The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller.”

He was right. Storytelling is the most effective way to build a brand and make an audience lean in.

I could give you the data—like the fact that we are six to seven times more likely to remember content when it’s wrapped in a story—but stats don’t make you a better storyteller. Neither do books, YouTube tutorials, or bingeing The Moth podcast.

What will make you a better storyteller is to spend more time shaping, forming, and telling your stories.

It’s like anything else in public speaking: a skill that you learn.

That said, there are a few common mistakes that I hear in a lot of speeches:

• Too many of the wrong details or not enough of the right details

• No clear point (or a point that the audience can’t relate to)

• Too much lead up for not enough pay off

• A story that doesn’t connect to the rest of the speech

Today, I want to focus on four storytelling moves that have the potential to radically transform your speaking. Then, in a future newsletter, I’ll break down how you can start crafting (and telling) more effective stories by asking eight key questions.

#1: Pick the Right Story

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard what I call a “bolted on” story. It’s a well-structured, and maybe even well-told story, but it doesn’t tie into the rest of the speech. It’s just kind of dangling, and I can’t make sense of why it’s even in the speech.

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that every speech you give should have one clear compelling point that everything else supports too–including your stories. Your stories need to drive the point of your talk forward.

But choosing the right story can feel daunting.

Maybe no stories come to mind.

Or maybe you have 100 stories come to mind and don’t know which one to pick.

If you struggle to come up with stories, start a story file.

At the end of every week reflect on things or experiences that happened to you during the week and write down a line or two about them. These don’t have to be dramatic experiences; they can be small.

What is something crazy your kid said?

Why was that Starbucks line so long?

How is it that my fifth grader still builds leprechaun traps on March 16th and genuinely checks them the next morning?

These reflections can serve as inspiration to develop into longer stories later on.

If you struggle to pick one story out of many, here are a handful of tips:

• Pick the story that shows the most contrast. You used to be A and now you are Z. (e.g. You were the person who couldn’t even cook toast without burning it, and now you’re hosting a five-course dinner party.)

• Pick the story that is the most relatable. Your experience rafting in the Grand Canyon may be epic, but your audience might better relate to the experience you had last week buying strawberries at the grocery store.

• Pick one where you are not the hero. We often want to share stories of our successes, but audiences connect more deeply with moments of struggle, embarrassment, or “learning the hard way.”

• Pick the emotion first, and the story second. Instead of looking for a “good story,” look for a feeling.What is the primary emotion you want your audience to feel (e.g., urgency, relief, curiosity)? Then, then think about your life and a time you felt that exact same way.

#2. Find the Universal Truth Within Your Story

Years ago, I was producing a radio show and Michele Cushatt was a guest.

(If you don’t follow Michele, you should. She’s an amazing author and speaker)

Michele has a personal story that is pretty dramatic. Despite being a non-smoker, she developed tongue cancer. As a result had to have two-thirds of her tongue removed.

On the surface, this story is not very relatable. The chance of getting this type of cancer only makes up 1% of all cancer cases in the U.S.

But Michele doesn’t frame this story from that perspective. Instead, she frames it around the question, how do you make peace with an unexpected life?

She has found the universal truth within her story. We can all relate to things not working out the way that we hoped or imagined and having to pick up the pieces of our lives.

Here are a few other story examples and their universal truths:

• Not getting the CEO role. This isn’t a story about a job title; it’s about what happens when “Plan A” for your life is rejected. It addresses the universal truth that we are often forced to find our value in who we are rather than what we do—usually only after we’ve failed to get what we thought we wanted.

• Losing a loved one. Loss is the price of admission for caring about anything. The universal truth about loss is that while a person or thing may vanish, the impact they had on the world is permanent. It’s about learning to carry a weight that never gets lighter, though you eventually get stronger.

• Your obsession over your lawn. On the surface, it’s a story about grass. But the universal truth is that humans are terrified of chaos. We pick small, manageable battles (like a yard) because we can’t control the “big” things—like our mortality, our kids growing up, or the economy.

Psychologist Carl Rogers has said that, “The most personal is the most universal,” and the deeper you are willing to go the deeper your audience will connect with you.

#3: Use Specific (not Generic) Language

The more specific your language is, the more you draw people into your story. Consider these examples:

Instead of: “My parents taught me the value of hard work.”

✅ Say: “Growing up, I never saw my dad wearing a pair of clean pants. His pants were always caked with dirt and smelled like mud from the fields where he worked.”

Instead of: “My first boss was difficult to work for.”

✅ Say: “When I worked for my first boss, each morning started with clammy hands, a racing heart, and a cup of nerves instead of coffee.”

Instead of: “Being a solopreneur is fun—and sometimes overwhelming.”

✅ Say: “Being a solopreneur is fun. I have 57 unread text messages, 234 tabs open, 568 forms of imposter syndrome and a thousand dreams in progress!”

Instead of: “One day, I heard my boss coming down the hallway to my office, and I wondered if something was wrong.”

✅ Say: “I was sitting in my office when I heard clack, clack, clack—it was the sound of my boss’ high heels on the tile floor. I groaned when the clacking stopped outside my office door…”

Don’t speak in vague generalities, be specific.

#4. Start with a Dramatic Open

Most speakers waste the beginning minutes of their stories on too much build up and too many irrelevant facts.

They give a list of linear things that happened instead of telling us an actual story. To solve this, I want you to consider diving right into the center of the action with a cold open.

For example, when you think about your favorite movie, more than likely it started in the middle of a story.

The Bourne Identity starts with a group of Italian fishermen pulling a nearly dead man out of the water. He has two bullets in his back and a laser projector surgically implanted in his hip that displays a Swiss bank account number.

I’m left asking, what’s going to happen next?

Or, take Legally Blonde. It starts with intense amounts of pink, blonde hair, manicures, and a “perfect” Southern California sun-drenched lifestyle. Everyone is buzzing because they believe Elle Woods is about to get engaged to her boyfriend, Warner Huntington III. We see Elle preparing for her “big night.”

My husband is left asking, Dear God, we’re only two minutes in. When will this movie be over?

The point is: start with something interesting. Lately, I’ve been asking my clients to get to the heart of the story (and often the catalyst moment) by filling in the blanks to this statement:

I didn’t understand ________ until _______ happened.

Stories range from humorous to complex, so yours might sound like:

I didn’t understand the concept of ‘pure rage’ until I saw someone put an empty milk carton back in the fridge for the third time in a week

I didn’t understand that leadership wasn’t about having the right answers until my entire team looked at me during a crisis and I realized my job was to ask the right questions.

I didn’t understand the true cost of water until I spent a summer in a village and saw a single mother walk six miles a day just to fill a single bucket.

From that statement you can then start framing out and building out your story.

Whew!

I’ve covered a lot and I feel like I’m barely getting started. Because how we shape and structure our stories is so important, I’ll use my next newsletter to share eight questions you need to consider when framing yours.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. Have you used these four moves in your storytelling? What have been the results?

Until next time, speak on!

One of my favorite speeches from the Oscars this year was Jessie Buckley’s acceptance speech. (She won Best Actress for Hamnet!)

What stood out wasn’t what she said—it was how human it felt. She laughed, cried, stumbled over words.

Instead of sounding polished, she sounded real.

She balanced emotion with humor as she thanked the people who’ve shaped her journey. The whole thing reminded me of something important: Audiences don’t connect to perfection, they connect with authenticity.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do on stage is simply allow yourself to be in the moment.

Why spend months developing a keynote when you can knock it out in just one day?

It’s easy to give the keynote you’ve already delivered 500 times.

It’s hard to create a new one.

It’s hard because you don’t yet have audience feedback to know what’s going to land.

It’s hard because you are too close to your content to know if it’s any good.

That’s where I come in.

Together, we can knock out a keynote in a day. I call it a Keynote Catalyst—and I’m ready when you are.

Let's Talk

The Creative Coffeehouse was a monthly meetup of all 250 creatives at Ramsey. All of my leaders and their leaders would be there—as well as hundreds of my peers. No pressure.

It was Wednesday afternoon.

I did not have a speech.

So I said what I hope any of you would say…

“YES!”

For the next two days, in every spare moment I had, I wrote a speech, knocked out a slide deck, and tried to get off my notes. It was far from perfect. But I did it. Here’s a photographic evidence:

Giving that speech ended up skyrocketing my career. I would give it another half dozen times throughout the company to various levels of leadership. And at Ramsey Solutions, I began to be known for something.

In fact, that experience eventually made me realize that I needed to quit my job and launch my own public speaking consulting business. Now, more than 5 years later, I still use the bones of that first talk in most of my speeches. (Yes, I really have been talking about how you need to eat potato chips for years!)

That speech became my signature speech.

And while I believe in you enough to know that you too could whip together a speech in two days—but I’d rather you just be ready when your opportunity comes.

Because, the truth is, I believe that every speaker (regardless if you want to be a pro speaker or not) needs a signature speech.

What is a signature speech?

Your signature speech is the speech you are known for.

Think of it as the umbrella for all of your other content. Every speech you give in the future can fall under this one.

This speech highlights your personal brand and story, showcases your expertise, and allows you to distinguish yourself as a thought leader in your space.

It’s a speech so magnificent you can give it again and again, at the drop of a hat.

From a content perspective, you’ve dialed in your stories, humor, flow, audience engagement, thought-provoking ideas, heart, passion, and visual branding.

From a delivery perspective: You’ve dialed in your timing, your body language, and your vocal variety. You have practiced and delivered it enough where it is authentic, engaging, and dynamic.

All great speakers have a signature speech. And when you hear their names, you associate their signature topic with them.

Here are a handful of examples:

• Dave Ramsey: Get out of debt

• Mel Robbins: 5-Second Rule

• John Maxwell: Leadership

• Tony Robbins: Conquering fear

• Brene Brown: Vulnerability

Why You Need a Signature Speech

We are all known for something.

The sooner you can solidify what you want to be known for and start talking about it, the sooner you’ll establish your credibility and brand authority.

A signature speech can:

• Build your personal brand

• Position you as an expert

• Grow your business

• Save you time. (Instead of creating a new presentation every time you are asked to speak you can give this again and again.)

• Change lives (remember, your message isn’t about you but about your audience)

I’ve heard hundreds of speeches over the last five years. I found there are three must-have elements for a signature speech that embodies your brand and message.

1. Your Story

What happened in your past that drives what you do today?

I’ve found that most clients I work with have a handful of experiences or stories that have dramatically shifted how they think and process the world.

When those experiences happened:

• What did they make you feel?

• What did they make you think?

• What were your five senses doing?

How does your story help others?

• What did you learn that you can share with others?

• Can you save them time by sharing your success & failure stories?

• Can you inspire, educate, or entertain them?

Depending on your story, your speech might end here—and that’s okay.

An example of this are my former clients Denise Huskins and Aaron Quinn. They survived a home-invasion kidnapping that police wrongly labeled a hoax until evidence from another case exposed the perpetrator. They now tell their story to advise law enforcement on trauma-informed investigations and the importance of believing victims.

They don’t rely on a framework to establish authority; their story itself teaches about trauma, institutional failure, and what it means to be believed. In their case, their lived experience is the message—and that is enough. (If you’re a true crime junkie, check out their Netflix documentary American Nightmare.)

💡Pro tip: While you may have multiple stories, most speeches can only carry the weight of one big story. If you try to cram in too many, they’ll all lose some of their impact.

2. Your Expertise

What have you done professionally?

What are your unique perspectives or hot takes on your industry?

Based on your breadth of knowledge, what are your predictions for the future? (Thought leaders boldly assert the future they see.)

Unless you’re famous and your accomplishments are really well known, people might not have any idea who you are or why you have authority to be speaking on the topic.

A great place to share your expertise is after your opening story, but before you dive into your talk. I call this, your authority statement.

Your authority statement is a way to drop your expertise in a way that feels like it’s more about the audience—and the journey life has taken you on to better serve them—than it is about your success.

There are dozens of formulas you could use.

Here’s a simple template that I developed for my clients:

Here’s a finished example:

3. Your Framework

In addition to your story and your expertise, you need a framework. Because it’s not just about what you say; it’s about how you package it.

Your framework is like the skeleton that you flesh out with your story, insights, and ideas. It should make your content memorable and easy to apply.

Anyone can say: Businesses need momentum and breakthrough.

Jim Collins said: “As a business owner you need to understand The Flywheel Effect.”

Anyone can say: To live a successful life you need to develop good habits.

Stephen Covey said: “Here are the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”

You need to figure out, what is your “Flywheel Effect”?

What are your “7 Habits”?

There are literally dozens and dozens of frameworks out there—and none of them is a one-size-fits-all. They range from simple phrases to complex grids and axes.

Your framework can be visual, like a graph or a diagram. Or, it can be mnemonic, using sounds and cadence to make it sticky.

I’ve spent hundreds of hours listening to speeches and evaluating why some stick with audiences and why others don’t—and I’ve found that it comes down to having a good framework.

Based on my experience, here are six go-to frameworks that can help you organize your content:

1. The Principle/Theory/Sticky Phrase (a big idea that sticks)

   → Examples: Simon Sinek’s “Start with Why” or James Clear’s The 1% Rule

2. The Liner Path Framework (Point A → Point B)

   → Example: Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps

3. The Acronym (each letter represents a key concept)

   → Example: My SPARK framework 👋🏼 (Story, Problem, Action, Resolve, Knockout)

4. The Flywheel (momentum-building model)

   → Examples: Jim Collins’ FlyWheel Effect or Charles Duhigg’s The Habit Loop

5. The Venn Diagram (intersection of ideas)

   → Examples: Patrick Lencioni’s The Ideal Team Player or “Good, Fast, Cheap (Pick 2)”

6. The Grid/Axis (positioning and comparison model)

   → Examples: DISC or SWOT Analysis

Remember, the most important thing you bring to the stage is YOU. Your framework should reflect your voice and perspective. If it feels forced, it won’t resonate.

Want to learn more about these frameworks and which one would work best for your content? Hit reply and I’ll send you my free guide, 6 Go-To Frameworks to Organize Your Speech.

The best speakers give the speech only they can give. Start with your story, tell your audience why you have authority to speak to this topic, and wrap it in a framework that makes it easy to remember and apply.

I want to hear from you! Which piece of your signature speech is clearest right now: your story, your expertise, or your framework? Hit reply and let me know, or drop your answer in the comments.

Until next time, speak on!

A couple weeks ago I found myself at a breakfast event with over 1,000 people in attendance—and I was a bit taken aback by the programming.

Typically an event like this revolves around the heart of the program, which in this case was an on-stage interview with an icon in the industry.

But, before the interview, there was almost 45 minutes of sponsor-heavy content—various people talking about their companies and how great they are.

On one hand, I get it. If you’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars sponsoring a breakfast like this, you’ve paid for your moment at the mic.

On the other hand, I felt it was a big miss.

If you’re lucky enough to have the mic and a room full of people listening, don’t spend that time pitching. Spend it being audience-centric. Tailor your message around what will help, move, or equip your the people who’ve shown up to hear what you have to say.

Because at the end of the day, people don’t remember the company that bought the time—they remember the one that didn’t waste it.

You know that moment when you’ve been put on the spot and your mind goes blank?

My Off the Cuff Cards give you 52 creative prompts designed to help you practice impromptu speaking anytime, anywhere.

Great speakers aren’t born, they’re practiced—and this is by far the most fun way to get your reps in.

Get Yours Today

The question comes in many different forms:

How do I get my first paid gig?

How do I get higher-paying gigs?

How do I get on bigger stages?

I work with speakers at every level—from those stepping on stage for the first time to those making over a million dollars a year speaking. Over the last few months, I’ve been paying close attention to what actually works.

And what I’ve seen is this: The speakers who get more gigs aren’t necessarily the best speakers out there, they’re the ones with the most clarity and hustle.

They know who they are, who their audience is, and what they bring to the table.

And they’ve communicated it clearly in their speaking assets (like websites, one-sheets, social media, and reels), making it easy for event organizers to understand exactly what they’re selling.

In an industry full of vague promises and generic topics, clarity makes you memorable.

When your message is clear, decision-makers don’t have to guess whether you’re right for their event—they can see it immediately.

It’s the difference between being one option and being the right option.

That’s why I created a simple framework called CLEAR to help you get that same level of clarity (and get on more—and, eventually, bigger—stages.

Let’s break CLEAR down…

C = Create Your Vision

When someone says, “I want more gigs,” my first question is always:

What does that mean?

More compared to what?

More than one paid talk? More than five gigs this year? Or, do you mean building a full-time speaking business?

Because those are very different goals—and they require very different strategies.

If you’ve never been paid to speak and your goal is 50 paid gigs next year, that’s probably not realistic. But if your goal is one paid talk? That’s a smart, achievable place to start. Clarity turns an abstract wish into a concrete target.

And beyond the numbers, you also need clarity about where you’re going—or more specifically, your why, what, and who.

Why are you speaking?

Is it to grow your existing business? Or is speaking the business itself?

What kind of opportunities are you actually trying to land?

For example, are you aiming for:

• keynotes

• workshops

• half-day or full-day intensives

• team retreats or offsites

And who do you want to be in the room when you speak?

• leaders

• entrepreneurs

• parents

• educators

• healthcare workers

The clearer you are about your direction, the easier it becomes to make decisions about what to pursue, what to say yes to, and what to ignore. “More gigs” isn’t a strategy—but a clear vision is.

L = List Your Dream Stages

A few years ago, a friend called me thrilled because he’d landed a huge gig at the International Auctioneers Conference & Show (even saying that quickly requires an auctioneer!)

I didn’t even know that was a thing. But for him, it was a dream stage.

Your dream stages won’t look like mine. Not everyone wants to speak on TEDx stages or the Global Leadership Summit.

Your dream stages might be industry-specific organizations, professional networks or member groups, corporate teams, trade groups or conferences, or nonprofits and mission-driven organizations.

Many speaking programs recommend listing 50–100 places you’d love to speak. That sounds big, but it’s powerful because it turns a vague goal (“more gigs”) into specific targets.

It will also help you realize you’re probably only thinking of a few different places and force you to stretch your mindset and think much bigger.

Start small. List at least 5–10 local or realistic stages. Then, add a few “stretch” stages. Once you have a list, pick one to pursue this month and then implement The Power Hour. Spend one hour a week, or 12 minutes a work day, pursuing that stage.

• Research the event

• Find the organizer

• Learn what they book

• See who spoke last year

You can’t pitch what you haven’t defined.

E = Establish Your Core Offer

This is where many speakers get stuck.

They say: “I can talk about leadership… and mindset… and mental health… and productivity… and imposter syndrome…”

And my response is always: Great. But what is the topic you want to be known for?

Yes, you can speak on a lot of topics. But when you try to speak on everything, you don’t stand out for anything.

Event organizers aren’t looking for a menu of possibilities—they’re looking for a clear solution to a specific problem. They want to know:

• Who is this for?

• What problem does it solve?

• What will people walk away with? (the transformation you deliver)

If your message is too broad, it’s easy to overlook. But when your offer is clear and focused, it becomes easier to remember—and easier to book.

Think of your core offer as your “flag in the ground.” It’s the topic you want to be known for. You can always add more talks later, but you need at least one signature talk that anchors your speaking.

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to have a perfect keynote before you start talking about it. But you do need to put some language around it. You need:

• A topic

• A title

• A description

As you get more reps in, you can refine your talk and these elements. Nothing develops content faster than a real audience! You’ll quickly learn what lands, which words confuse people, and which moments create connection—because the audience will show you in real time.

A = Assemble Your Assets

Once you know what you’re selling, you need places to sell it. That doesn’t mean you need everything at once. Start with one or two simple assets that make it easy for people to understand who you are, what you speak about, and how to book you.

Common assets:

• Website

• Speaker one-sheet

• Newsletter

• Social media

• Speaker Reel

Here’s my advice: Pick one channel and start there.

Already posting on LinkedIn? Start posting as a speaker.

Already writing a newsletter? Add your speaking topics to it.

Don’t stress about a speaker reel yet. It’s hard to create a reel if you’re not speaking—and hard to get speaking gigs if you don’t have one. Focus on the easier assets first.

One of the most useful tools is a speaker one-sheet: a simple, easy-to-share document that gives event organizers everything they need at a glance.

A strong one-sheet includes a professional photo, a short and compelling bio, your speaking topics, notable wins or awards, client logos, brief testimonials, and clear booking information.

Want help creating yours? Check out my Speaker’s Guide to a Killer One-Sheet.

Assets don’t get you gigs alone—but they make it easier for others to say yes.

R = Reach Out

This is where most people freeze.

They wait for an invitation, a referral… basically, a miracle in their inbox.

But opportunities more often come from relationships—not brilliance.

So instead of asking, Who’s going to find me? start asking: Who do I already know?

If you want to speak at a specific company:

• Do you know anyone who works there?

• Could they point you to the right person?

If you want to speak at a conference:

• Who spoke there last year?

• Who organizes it?

• Who might be willing to share what they learned?

And after you speak, don’t just say “thank you” and move on.

• Ask for a testimonial

• Ask who else might benefit

• Ask for an introduction

Those small, timely asks can turn one talk into two… or three… or ten.

The best time to ask is when the experience is fresh—when the value is clear and the connection is warm.

But, here’s the thing about CLEAR: You can work on all five steps—but not all at once.

So, ask yourself, Which part of CLEAR do I need most right now?

Vision?

Dream stages?

Core offer?

Assets?

Reaching out?

Pick one and give it focused time. I have members of The Speak School implement The Power Hour. Spend one hour a week, or 12 minutes a work day, working on the area you’ve determined needs the most work. After a handful of power hours, you’ll be amazed how far you’ve come.

Consistency beats intensity, so put The Power Hour on your calendar like a real meeting.

One last note: If no one is inviting you to speak, don’t wait—create your own stage.

A stage doesn’t have to be a big conference with a spotlight; it can be any space (in person or online) where people gather to listen to you on purpose.

• Host a workshop or lunch-and-learn for a business or nonprofit

• Partner with a coworking space or community group

• Pitch a talk to a professional association or Rotary-style group

• Offer a training inside a company or organization

• Create a monthly pop-up talk or meetup around your topic

The crazy thing about speaking is that speaking begets more speaking.

When you build your own stages, you get reps, grow your confidence, and generate “stageside leads” that often turn into future bookings. The fastest way to become a booked speaker is simply to start speaking—somewhere.

I’d love to hear from you! What have you found to be the most helpful advice for getting more gigs? Hit reply and let me know.

Until next time, speak on!

P.S. There are 12 Questions You Must Ask for a Killer Speech—click to get your FREE guide.

Last week I spoke at The Theology of Gift Conference in Phoenix. I lived my best life—it was 80° and sunny, I squeezed in a hike up Camelback Mountain, and even grabbed a ride in a Waymo (my first self-driving car experience).

But something happened while I was speaking that was not my best… I gave the audience an exercise and then had trouble reigning them back in! As a result, I ended up having way too much content for my time and had to rush at the end. So here’s my friendly speech coach reminder to you to trim your content! It will always expand to fill the time.

Subscribe now

When I was a kid, an adult once told my mom that I could “talk the legs off a cast iron pot.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I could tell it wasn’t a compliment.

The thing is, I’ve always had a lot to say—and it turns out that LinkedIn only gives you 3,000 characters.

As a result, I rewrite posts or turn them into carousels just to cram in more words.

So here I am, writing a newsletter so that I can dive deep into all things public speaking: from developing and writing your content to nailing your delivery and everything in between.

I’m on a mission to rid the world of bad communication—one speech at a time. This newsletter is one small effort to do that.

In the words of JFK, “The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.”

You might not be a President, CEO, or a professional speaker (yet), but you can grow as a communicator when you know the tips of and tricks that the world’s best speakers use. And I believe you have a message worth sharing.

So, welcome to The Speak Shop newsletter!

This newsletter won’t be about me. I want it to be about you and the challenges you face as a speaker. If you have a question or a topic you want me to write on, just reply to this email and let me know. If I don’t know the answer to your question, I promise to find it.