Dear Mr. Berry,

I meant to write you sooner, but I fell very ill again. I learned from a dear friend of mine that your readers can write to you and that you may write back. I was shocked with delight when I heard this.

So, here I am, to say to you that your writing has changed many lives the world over—and it has also changed mine. It has held me this past year in my sickbed, in my hospital bed, and through surgeries, fear, and lament.

You have reminded me, again and again, of my wild heart and the explosive beauty in the woods and mountains that are still waiting for my return. You have shown me, again and again, that wonder and love drown out suffering and make living worth the holy fight. Thank you so very dearly and tenderly for your candor, faith, and advocacy of all that is good in the peace of wild things—and all that is still good in the world.

I am about to turn 42 this month, and one thing that keeps me going is the fact that I will have your poetry and prose for the rest of my life. I pray it is a long one, and that in some small way, I might help spread your message with my life. You have inspired my own poetry and doggedness to be a decent human who loves God, nature, and the goodwill for my neighbor above all else.

Godspeed to you, dear saint. May you still write many beautiful lines. We are waiting to read them.

Blessings and light,

Kimberly Phinney

P.S. I have enclosed my poetry book, Of Wings and Dirt, as a gift to you.

P.S.S. Our literary journal, www.TheWayBack2Ourselves.com/journal will be publishing an entire collection of poetry, writing, and art inspired by YOU and The Peace of Wild Things in November (2024). I know you do not hang around on the Internet, but perhaps you will pay a little visit in late November to see our humble offering to you and those who are searching for peace in a world that has grown loud, too.

P.S.S.S. Here is a haiku (or two) that will be published in my next book:

HARVEST
What's torn asunder
becomes growth matter. You will
see; give Time her due.

And one more:

IN PRAISE OF SLOW
I hear some of you
chase things, though the butterfly
lands on still shoulders.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, as well as a seat to her office hours happening each month on Zoom, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her writing courses, a year of Poetry University, and a year of her office hours are a $1300 value. Join the nearly 100 students today! You belong here!

My next office hours are on Sept. 10 at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom. Poetry University will meet again on Sept. 24 at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom. JOIN US!

Here’s a peek at my letter from Mr. Berry:

To commemorate Mr. Berry, please enjoy two beautiful poems of his, which happen to be my favorites:

THE SYCAMORE
by Wendell Berry

In the place that is my own place, whose earth
I am shaped in and must bear, there is an old tree growing,
a great sycamore that is a wondrous healer of itself.
Fences have been tied to it, nails driven into it,
hacks and whittles cut in it, the lightning has burned it.
There is no year it has flourished in that has not harmed it.
There is a hollow in it
that is its death, though its living brims whitely
at the lip of the darkness and flows outward.
Over all its scars has come the seamless white
of the bark. It bears the gnarls of its history
healed over. It has risen to a strange perfection
in the warp and bending of its long growth.
It has gathered all accidents into its purpose.
It has become the intention and radiance of its dark fate.
It is a fact, sublime, mystical and unassailable.
In all the country there is no other like it.
I recognize in it a principle, an indwelling
the same as itself, and greater, that I would be ruled by.
I see that it stands in its place and feeds upon it,
and is fed upon, and is native, and maker.


THE PEACE OF WILD THINGS
by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives might be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief.  I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

I pray this blessed you—and most importantly—honored Mr. Berry’s life.

You belong here,

me

THE WAY BACK TO OURSELVES LITERARY JOURNAL IS BACK!

The Cultivate Retreat left such a profound impact on our community—and in many ways, it felt like the conversation was just getting started—so we decided to continue it with this NEW edition of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal. Whether you attended the retreat or not, this Fall’s ROOTED Collection is a gracious and expansive invitation to everyone in our greater community.

Submissions open September 1-October 1, 2026. You can learn more below from our recent Substack post and at our website’s contact page, as well as this podcast episode.

LEARN MORE HERE.

DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

TODAY’S POST AND PODCAST EPISODE ARE PACKED WITH GOODNESS. LISTEN, CONNECT, AND BE SURE TO SCROLL DOWN FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE CULTIVATE RETREAT’S VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE AND OUR WRITING AND CREATIVE SERVICES.

The Way Back Podcast is brought to you by TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, with co-host and producer Edward Holmes and founder Kimberly Phinney, an English professor, author, editor, and counselor, who is a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling. Her poetry collections, Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground, are available wherever books are sold. She is an award-winning poet and educator, and her book on art, faith, and belonging will debut with Baker Books in 2027.

Don’t miss the news below about The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal’s submission window announcement for the Fall Collection!

Come join Kimberly as she sits down with the editors, , , , and , of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com to discuss the NEW fall theme, ROOTED. This episode was produced for our creative community, as we deep-dive into writing craft, tips, and encouragement. We also discuss what we look for in ideal submissions to our literary journal and what we have been up to creatively. You don’t want to miss this episode. It is so full of light and creative cultivation!

If you’d like to get a feel for our journal as a writer or artist, or if you’d like to enjoy our creative offering as a reader, you can find our online journal HERE for free. And you can purchase our print journal HERE, which was a bestseller on Amazon when it debuted.

The editors speak on:

-the Cultivate Retreat and community growth

-the lit journal theme ROOTED

-offer tips on writing for the journal (and other journals)

-describe what they are looking for in your creative work (poetry, prose, photography, fine art, etc.)

-provide encouragement and notes on writing craft

-give updates on their creative journeys

-tell personal stories about what God is teaching them in this season

-share about creating and surviving through suffering seasons

-and so much more

This is an episode you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR COMMUNITY HERE:

To hear more and connect with our community, please visit www.TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. We offer editing, counseling, teaching, and publishing services, as well as cohorts and retreats.

OUR ROOTED COMMUNITY OFFERINGS

---

PREORDER NOW.

If you’re looking for even MORE inspiration and you missed the Cultivate Retreat, you can enjoy the virtual experience by pre-ordering the recordings HERE. They will be available in early August. Hear from Stephen Roach, founder of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics, Amanda Held Opelt, author and musician, Ben Palpant, author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea with The Rabbit Room, Kimberly Phinney, professor, author, and founder of TWBTO, Deidre Braley, editor and author with Revel Books… and so many more!

---

THE WAY BACK TO OURSELVES LITERARY JOURNAL IS BACK!

The Cultivate Retreat left such a profound impact on our community—and in many ways, it felt like the conversation was just getting started—so we decided to continue it with this NEW edition of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal. Whether you attended the retreat or not, this Fall’s ROOTED Collection is a gracious and expansive invitation to everyone in our greater community.

Submissions open September 1-October 1. You can learn more below from our recent Substack post and at our website’s contact page, as well as this podcast episode.

---

DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

---

JOIN MY WAY BACK NOW. YOU BELONG HERE.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, as well as a seat to her office hours happening each month on Zoom, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her writing courses, a year of Poetry University, and a year of her office hours are a $1300 value. Join the nearly 100 students today! You belong here!

My next office hours are on Sept. 10 at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom. Poetry University will meet again on Sept. 24 at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom. JOIN US!

You belong here,

me and TWBTO team

Did you want to attend the Cultivate Retreat with TheWayBack2Ourselves.com but couldn’t? We got you covered! We are happy to announce that the VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE IS LIVE NOW!

Of course, seeing is believing, so instead of using words to convince you of this life-affirming experience, please enjoy our movie trailer, produced by our friends at Kismis Ink ( and her husband, Khaled Mosli).

ORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW.

We are excited to present THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE, a movie and recording of all keynotes and talks, along with a breakout on publishing, extras, and more for you to watch as many times as you’d like from the comfort of your own home. We are working hard to be accessible to as many as possible by creating an EMBODIED virtual option for our community. Be sure to grab your virtual experience now, as it is only available for the remainder of 2026 to view and download.

Curated, directed, and produced by the talented team at Kismis Ink, THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE is an offering that makes you feel ROOTED, just like you were there! Hear from Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics, Amanda Held Opelt, musician and author, and Ben Palpant, author with the Rabbit Room. You’ll also get to enjoy an opening talk by Kimberly Phinney, founder of TWBTO; a Sunday afternoon message by Deidre Braley, author and editor, on the power of living up to our creation; a breakout session with Solum Press and Clayjar Review on writing and publishing… and more!

ORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW.

IMPORTANT NOTE: When you order, you’ll get a downloadable PDF with the link, login, and viewing directions. This is your private viewing, so please do not share or produce elsewhere. All creative work is the property of Kismis Ink and The Way Back to Ourselves. Thank you! Visit KismisInk.com to connect and book their services. Follow them on Instagram: @kismisinkphotography.

Enjoy our KEYNOTE speakers: , author with ; , founder of The Breath and the Clay and podcast host of Makers and Mystics; and , musician and author of several books. and will be joining us as well with a breakout session on writing and publishing.

IT’S TIME TO GET ROOTED.

ORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW.

I hope you’ll join our TWBTO team and me through this new offering: , , , , , , , , and more, along with The Way Back Books authors: , , , , and .

We would be honored to share this space with you VIRTUALLY and come beside you as you answer God’s call to create and become more rooted in your life and community.

You belong here,

Kimberly and TWBTO Team

We are so grateful to the generosity of our partner, First Presbyterian Church, and their fine arts director (and our wonderful friend), , for helping to make this dream come true for so many.

TODAY’S POST AND PODCAST EPISODE ARE PACKED WITH GOODNESS. LISTEN, CONNECT, AND BE SURE TO SCROLL DOWN FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE CULTIVATE RETREAT AND OUR WRITING AND CREATIVE SERVICES.

The Way Back Podcast is brought to you by TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, with co-host and producer Edward Holmes and founder , an English professor, author, editor, and counselor, who is a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling. Her poetry collections, Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground, are available wherever books are sold. She is an award-winning poet and educator, and her book on art, faith, and belonging will debut with Baker Books in 2027.

Don’t miss the news below about The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal’s submission window announcement for the Fall Collection!

Come join Kimberly as she sits down with Dr. Winfield Bevins, artist, author, and founder of . In this new episode, Winfield and Kimberly discuss the artist’s role in God’s vision for mankind as they partner with him to beautify the Kingdom. This episode is equal parts equipping, informative, and inspirational, so you won’t want to miss it—whether you’re a creative, writer, or a patron of the arts. If you listened and loved our conversation, please be sure to connect with Winfield and grab his latest book, How Beauty Will Save the World, which can be purchased wherever books are sold.

So, come, friends, and sit down with us. We think you’ll find some goodness here.

Winfield speaks on:

-his creative revelations from his own illness and health story

-his unique insights on the arts and the church as a pastor, artist, founder, and writer

-the power of the transcendentals (beauty, goodness, and truth) to transform the world and extend God’s kingdom

-how the church and culture must reimagine the artist as “missionaries of beauty”

-key moments from his new book, How Beauty Will Save the World

-key moments in philosophy and Christian history that impacted the way the arts and the artist are seen today, and what we can do to restore God’s vision for the arts

-his work with Creo Arts and the impact of St. Francis of Assisi on the arts

-an artist’s blessing for the faithful creative, which you won’t want to miss

-and so much more

This is an episode you won’t want to miss! It’s truly special.

You can find Dr. Winfield Bevins here:

Creo Arts Website: Creo Arts

Creo Arts Instagram: (2) Instagram

Winfield’s Website: Winfield Bevins

Winfield’s Instagram: Winfield Bevins

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR COMMUNITY

---

PREORDER NOW.

If you’re looking for even MORE inspiration and you missed the Cultivate Retreat, you can enjoy the virtual experience by pre-ordering the recordings HERE. They will be available in early August. Hear from Stephen Roach, founder of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics, Amanda Held Opelt, author and musician, Ben Palpant, author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea with The Rabbit Room, Kimberly Phinney, professor, author, and founder of TWBTO, Deidre Braley, editor and author with Revel Books… and so many more!

---

THE WAY BACK TO OURSELVES LITERARY JOURNAL IS BACK!

The Cultivate Retreat left such a profound impact on our community—and in many ways, it felt like the conversation was just getting started—so we decided to continue it with this NEW edition of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal. Whether you attended the retreat or not, this Fall’s ROOTED Collection is a gracious and expansive invitation to everyone in our greater community.

Submissions open September 1-October 1. You can learn more below from our recent Substack post and at our website’s contact page.

---

DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

---

JOIN MY WAY BACK NOW. YOU BELONG HERE.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, as well as a seat to her office hours happening each month on Zoom, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her writing courses, a year of Poetry University, and a year of her office hours are a $1300 value. Join the nearly 100 students today! You belong here!

Subscribe now

A STORY & SOME POETRY TO HONOR (WO)MAN’S BEST FRIEND

The night before my dog died, I was on edge, although I had no real reason to be. Something was in the air, apparently something only my intuition registered before the night went sideways.

The day was normal and even joyous. Our little sister by our choosing and part-time nanny, Abby (an old student of mine), was with us. We were baking gluten-free cupcakes in the kitchen with my daughter while Disney songs played from Abby’s phone. It was Moana.

Harper Lee (yes, I named my dog after the author of To Kill a Mockingbird), ever the hungry soul, was pancaked on the tile under our feet, waiting for a morsel. The only clue, in hindsight, was this: I looked at Harper Lee and saw a tiredness in her gaze.

“You’re not feeling so good today, are you, old girl?” I asked her, as I stooped down to rub her head and sneak her a dollop of whipped cream cheese frosting.

She happily licked the tasty treat from my fingers and smiled (yes, she really did smile). I chalked it up to old dog rhythms. She was 12 and a half, and some of her days looked like this. But I wasn’t worried in the least. The vet had recently given her a clean bill of health, and she had dragged me down the road on a midnight walk just one night before. (Since I struggle with my mobility and pain from chronic illness, she was always the one to lead and encourage me on our walks.)

The day continued on as normal. We enjoyed the fruits of our labor with cupcakes galore, sending some to our neighbors. My daughter practiced her piano. I graded some college essays and worked on client manuscripts. I thanked God for his goodness in our lives. Abby headed home. My husband, Michael, came home from work. Harper followed me like my shadow, per usual, and played with her precious Wa-bbit (her cherished rabbit stuffy with a squeaker, that she loved to announce herself with as she entered a room). We ate dinner, did our bedtime routines, settled in for the night, and got our daughter to bed.

Everything looked and felt like every other typical night...

But once the house quieted from the day’s hustle and bustle and everyone was sound asleep (even Harper Lee, in her bed beside me), I could not get myself to settle down. So, I did what every person does at 2:00 a.m. I got up and cleaned the kitchen. I thought, I’ll calm myself down, do my prayers, and go to bed.

After I came back from the kitchen, Harper was still asleep, which was a tad odd since she usually stirred when I left the room—and would most often follow me. Again, I told myself, It’s just an old dog day. I bent down to kiss her on the head and held her close. She stirred, and we gazed into each other’s eyes (if you know, you know).

It was a moment—a prophetic moment, I know full well now.

“I love you, Harper Lee,” I whispered.

Her eyes held mine, as if she wanted to tell me something.

Keeping my face turned toward hers, I finally put my head on my pillow and took a deep cleansing breath. Everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. Just pray and go to sleep, I told myself.

As I reached for my nightstand lamp to turn it off, Harper shot up like she had been electrocuted, held her form, and then fell into a nearly catatonic state.

I rushed to her side.

My intuition was right.

This was the beginning of the end.

Had I gone to sleep, I would have missed it.

She would have died beside me while I slept.

God kept me awake.

The rest of the story is far too painful to write in the same detail, but I will share that I woke my husband once I knew what was wrong. He wiped his eyes, steeled himself for his hysterical wife, and rushed Harper Lee to the emergency vet like the hero he is—but it was already a hopeless odyssey.

There was fluid on her heart. She would die that night unless the vet pumped the fluid away from it so she could come home to die in peace.

So, that’s what we did.

We gave her one more day.

Our Haper girl got to eat her last meal, play with her toys, snuggle her family, walk in her grass, and be visited by friends who loved her. She even seemed somewhat normal because of the procedure. I was in such denial that I wanted to believe God healed her, that the night before was just some heinous nightmare. Instead, we welcomed Lap of Love, an at-home pet euthanasia service, into our home to send Harper over the rainbow bridge in her favorite spot on the rug.

The ceremony was hard and holy. We told her over and over how much we loved her, what a good girl she had been. After some time, she fell into a twilight, and her breathing became labored. But still her eyes were partly open, and I believe she knew we were there with her.

I felt her exhale for the last time on my cheek as I held in my sobs.

Then, I did not feel her inhale again.

Then, all was still and quiet.

She died in my arms at peace, facing out the window that framed her life, as she faded from this old world.

I stayed with her until her body cooled.

I would have stayed longer.

We lost our dear old girl two months ago this week. To say I am gutted by the loss of my four-legged best friend and companion is a terrible understatement and a lack of imagination. I am 43, and this is the first time in my life that I don’t have a dog. My mom bred German shepherds. My husband and I started rescuing pit bull terriers when I was twenty. Dogs have been my life.

As someone with chronic illness and pain, Harper Lee’s companionship was more fundamental to my world than the beautiful dogs I loved in good health before her (if you know, you know). The loneliness and darkness she saved me from make her a hero in my eyes.

I am still here because of her.

Truly, there’s a reason dog is God spelled backward. They just might be the closest thing we get to understanding His love for us. When nearly everyone walked away from me, doubted my illness, spread rumors about my family—you name it—my wild, silly Harper Lee never removed her loving gaze, never doubted my pain for a moment. In fact, she changed, she attuned, she became the dog I needed. She knew and felt what people who claimed to love me couldn’t. What kind of love is that? One that gives so freely and exists so effortlessly that it puts humans to shame.

Her love and loyalty were more than I deserved.

So, in her beloved memory, I want to share a mini chapbook of poetry for dog-lovers and grievers alike. I hope I honor her well, as well as all the dogs who have recently passed from my writer friends’ lives: , , , and others. All the poems are by me (new and previously published), with the exception of some Mary Oliver poems thrown in (of course).

MY MONKISH LIFE
by Kimberly Phinney, previously published with Fathom Magazine and in Of Wings and Dirt

I.
I fell asleep late last night
reading Isaiah
and dreamt about gardens
and prophecy.
I had nowhere I needed to be
when I woke,
so I slept in bed until noon,
listening to the rain hit the roof.
And when I opened my eyes,
I witnessed the humidity’s dew
gather so gently
and drop down the windowpane
and cry tears like we do.

II.
Then, I watched my old pup awake
with my movements and rhythms
to do her faithful stretches—
a happy baby,
a downward dog.
And she reminded me
in her ease
that I should do more yoga
because they say 
it’s good for the pain.

III.
It’s so quiet now.
I can hear the prayers in my head
and poetry lines run on and on.
So much so, I can’t catch them all.
So, I think I may drink my coffee in bed
and learn to soak this silence in
some more, while my body rejects
the world and what it used to do.

IV.
And then I’ll stop and write to you:
Listen, I think I can hear God overhead
because I finally understand
I am not a performance
or what others have said I am.
My worth is not measured by
what I am not producing here (in this bed).
It’s almost as if my monkish life
is helping me to forget
all the broken parts in my past
and in my body
and those who have gone
because of it.
Time is good at making
hazy fragments
fog over like glass.
And God is good at healing.

V.
Yes, I think I’ll drink my coffee in bed,
turn the clocks facedown,
read some Romans or Rumi or Rilke
out loud—
and keep relearning.
And maybe later
if I can get this ache in my belly to stop,
I’ll go study the clouds
because for the first time in my life
I am living the art of “now.”

SOME LINES FROM THE BLUE RIDGE MOUNTAINS ON JANUARY 4, 2025
by Kimberly Phinney, previously published in Exalted Ground

I went out into the woods, my dog beside me, 
and walked until my body ached 
and there was a deep patch of leaves 
to lie down in.
 
I wondered when 
it could have been that I had last laid down in leaves. 
Perhaps it was when 
I was a child in Boston—and in October.
I was four and did not care if the leaves left their mark 
on me or matted in my hair,
and I did not worry if I wandered off too far—
for my mother was there beside me. 

So, I rested there 
in this new year, 
as if I was a child again, 
underneath the mountain’s embrace,
and let my body go soft in a thick home of foliage, 
while my wild and faithful scoundrel of a dog 
dug around in the earthy undergrowth 
and the layers of leaves from years past.
She, too, remembered what it was to be a child-dog—
to be young and alive in her body—
as she sniffed the air and burrowed her nose 
in the rotting bark of a fallen tree. 

So, we took up space there,
together. 
Two creatures—
our breaths pushing warm puffs of life into the frigid air—
raptured in nature’s thrumming lore,
forgetting about the melt of time, 
listening to the silky pines shift and dance on the wind,
allowing the sun to wash over our fur and skin,
feeling God with our senses—
panting and baptized 
in praise.

COMMONPLACE
by Kimberly Phinney, written just a couple of months before Harper Lee died

This morning, 
there were no clocks, 
and I did not wake and move 
until my body told me to.
There was no clamoring, 
no pressing deadlines pushing me down, 
no people to please—
no one to see or be seen by.
I’ve even let my hair go gray at 43,
and I am free to stand and watch the coffee 
drip into my favorite mug
because I am in no rush— 
and as the gentle creek flows 
of aromatic goodness
and my old stilettos gather dust, 
I am learning how to be forgotten 
by many
and finally be
okay.

And when I go to write, 
it is for myself 
and the old dog sleeping on my feet, 
who still pulls her tired body off the floor 
to follow me from room to room.
These days, this is what love feels like.

But soon enough, my world will wake and triple in delight: 
my daughter returns with my husband in tow—
for they have been out in the world, 
while my world is at home.
And so, I steady myself 
and this body that has forgotten how to be well—
to smile for them, to laugh, and to fight like hell 
when the pain feels like too much.

So, I choose to live this life we’ve been given 
because it’s what we have:
I watch our daughter play at dusk, 
her perfect voice telling stories and singing songs.
And as I do, I rock in our hammock 
under the curtains of Heaven 
and watch the stars arrive,
as my old dog sloppily licks my face. 

I tell my daughter the stars are always there; 
we just can’t see them all, 
and somehow that comforts me, 
though I doubt she hears because she 
is somewhere far away 
inside her endless imagination.

At bedtime, we pray—
her hands tangled in mine—
as I read her A Wrinkle in Time 
until my throat runs dry… 
or until she’s fallen asleep 
without a care to carry in the world—
though it is the same world 
that sometimes demands all of our joys.

And finally, as her breath falls heavy and slow, 
I huddle by the dim pendant light on my nightstand 
to peel a ruby-golden mandarin for myself. 
I listen to rind unfold like velcro, 
as a bright sweetness is unleashed 
and my senses remember 
all that is longing and wonder and goodness, 
all the things I thought 
I had lost or forgotten along the way 
are actually here in this room—
in spite of the pain— 
all for the taking 
in this ordinary life.

EDEN
by Kimberly Phinney, written just a couple of months before Harper Lee died

My dog—
she knows how 
to live.

Every morning, without fail,
she tiptoes out 
into our Saint Augustine grass—
thick with life—
to greet the sun. 

First a downward dog, 
then prostrate across 
the leaves of grass, 
she raises her closed 
eyes to finally see— 
warmed by a golden 
bath of light, to smell 
the varied notes 
of sweetness upon 
the dewy air, 
to turn her ears toward birdsong, 
as if she knows she, too, 
is a part of the humming symphony 
of life that unfolds just before her. 

She knows things I have long forgotten—
that I am too smart to sense. 
She’s watched me for twelve years now
and knows enough to know 
that our kind live in our heads. 

I watch her and take notes 
because I am her student, too. 
I watch her and take notes
because I want to remember 
what these bodies are made to do. 

And nature! Sacred nature!
That second book of God!
I need to come home to this place 
I vacated long ago 
for progress.

So, I wonder, as I seek to trace it 
all back to the beginning 
in a Garden:

When did we forget 
this green unfolding miracle 
right beyond our window—
always blooming and giving wild gifts 
that our haughty eyes have ceased to savor?

How did we neglect 
this embarrassment of riches 
inviting us to partake, 
again and again, 
as the fern unfurls, 
and the ladybugs guard the garden, 
and the crepe myrtles burst with buds? 

Have we fallen deaf 
to the Strange Music 
while Eden carries on?

Yes, my dog—
she knows how 
to live.

HER GRAVE
by Mary Oliver, from Dog Songs

She would come back, dripping thick water, from the green bog.
She would fall at my feet, she would draw the black skin
from her gums, in a hideous and wonderful smile–
and I would rub my hands over her pricked ears and her
cunning elbows,
and I would hug the barrel of her body, amazed at the unassuming
perfect arch of her neck.

It took four of us to carry her into the woods.
We did not think of music,
but, anyway, it began to rain
slowly.

Her wolfish, invitational, half-pounce.

Her great and lordly satisfaction at having chased something.

My great and lordly satisfaction at her splash
of happiness as she barged
through the pitch pines swiping my face with her
wild, slightly mossy tongue.

Does the hummingbird think he himself invented his crimson throat?
He is wiser than that, I think.

A dog lives fifteen years, if you’re lucky.

Do the cranes crying out in the high clouds
think it is all their own music?

A dog comes to you and lives with you in your own house, but you
do not therefore own her, as you do not own the rain, or the
trees, or the laws which pertain to them.

Does the bear wandering in the autumn up the side of the hill
think all by herself she has imagined the refuge and the refreshment
of her long slumber?

A dog can never tell you what she knows from the
smells of the world, but you know, watching her, that you know
almost nothing.

Does the water snake with his backbone of diamonds think
the black tunnel on the bank of the pond is a palace
of his own making?

She roved ahead of me through the fields, yet would come back, or
wait for me, or be somewhere.

Now she is buried under the pines.

Nor will I argue it, or pray for anything but modesty, and
not to be angry.

Through the trees is the sound of the wind, palavering

The smell of the pine needles, what is it but a taste
of the infallible energies?

How strong was her dark body!

How apt is her grave place.

How beautiful is her unshakable sleep.

Finally,
the slick mountains of love break
over us.

GRIEF’S GARMENT
by Kimberly Phinney, written a week after Harper Lee's passing

No one told me grief was a garment,
always with you, heavy, clinging, frayed, 
shaped exactly to your frame—
that when you rise and when you sleep
it rises and sleeps with you, 
keeping the hours you keep. 
Awake when you’re awake.

And when you make scrambled eggs 
or brew coffee before the sun rises 
over your empty, quiet house, 
it sits with you—over you— 
bending when you bend, 
reaching with you as you reach.
It senses the amputation of your life, 
like a left or right arm missing underneath its threads:
phantom, spirit, a shocking death. 
It knows, like you know, that a life’s gone missing, 
and they’re never coming back.

And when you wake at 2:00 am, 
full of sweat and tears, 
doubting you can make it from where you are to where they are, 
doubting you can hold things together without them here, 
doubting the light in you won’t go out, 
grief's garment feels that too
and holds you close, 
with a warmth you can’t make for yourself, 
inside the blanket of its braided skein:
holy, tender, the unlikeliest friend.

How can it be that grief
is both a bane and boon—
woven to be worn just for you,
the evidence of what love does
and what lives on 
after love 
is gone?

THE STORM
by Mary Oliver, from Dog Songs

Now through the white orchard my little dog
romps, breaking the new snow
with wild feet.
Running here, running there, excited,
hardly able to stop, (s)he leaps, (s)he spins
until the white snow is written upon
in large, exuberant letters,
a long sentence, expressing
the pleasures of the body in this world.

Oh, I could not have said it better
myself.

Welcome, friends!

Before I share the details and recording of Poetry University #11 below, I want to welcome all of our NEW subscribers and thank my co-instructor, , our resident farmer-poet here at TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. I am grateful to say that we now have 115 enrolled students (paid subscribers) and nearly 8,000 readers (subscribers).

Also, as promised, we just added a new perk for paid subscribers: THE PROFESSOR IS IN, which is my NEW office hours where you bring your questions, projects, and dreams, and I do my best to help you make things happen! Our first session is August 6th at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom (live only). If you become a paid subscriber by August 5, you’ll receive a private Zoom link emailed straight to your inbox.

And in case you’re new here, Poetry University is a monthly community writing class where paid subscribers of My Way Back come together to create a sense of belonging and learn about poetry, craft, publishing, platform, the artist’s soul, and much more.

With my long teaching career (over 20 years, if you’re asking…), poetry awards and collections, degrees in English, and a doctoral candidacy in Community Care and Counseling, Poetry University is a unique blend of academic excellence and deep soul care for the faithful creative.

If you’d like to join us, just become a paid subscriber! Monthly subscriptions are only $8 a month for my essays, poetry, and podcast, but you are also helping to crowdfund this Poetry University and my office hours, which would be at least $1500 per person per year through other venues, because your paid subscription also includes BOTH OF MY CREATIVE WRITING COURSES via monthly posts.

If you become a paid subscriber today, you’ll have immediate access to all previous classes in the prior paid posts (best viewed on the website version of Substack). So, trust me; it’s worth it!

Subscribe now

POETRY UNIVERSITY CLASS #11

• To kick off, fellow poet and community member opened us with a prayer and a devotional thought. This is a new favorite tradition that provides soul-care and prepares our hearts for class. Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties, the recording begins after this reflective time together.

• We also shared about our editorial and creative consultants, like , , , , , and others. You can hire us HERE.

• Then, we had a great Q&A Session on Craft and Care. Everyone shared authentically and thoughtfully, and a lot of learning and reflection happened. We are so grateful for this community!

• Next, we had a community favorite: Poetry Critiques! It was a powerful time of belonging and growth. The feedback we shared turned into meaningful lessons that everyone could apply to their writing.

• Then, shared our updated curated list of literary journals and magazines that are accepting submissions RIGHT NOW, so students can submit their work and get published. I know I did last month, and I got several poems published (live or forthcoming). We know you can, too!

• And finally, we assigned homework challenges and agreed to meet again for Poetry University #12 on August 27th at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom. We will confirm this date via the chat feature, announcements, and an email with a Zoom link leading up to the class. I know it sounds crazy, but please bring a piece of fresh fruit to class… and come hungry! Also, we’d like to have a time of sharing about your submission process and celebrating writing wins!

I am so grateful to the wonderful poets and writers who attended LIVE and to all the others who watch the recordings! We had nearly 20 students in attendance and have 115 students currently enrolled! We’d love to hear from you below!!

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THE CULTIVATE RETREAT VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE

Did you want to attend the Cultivate Retreat with TheWayBack2Ourselves.com but couldn’t? We got you covered! We are happy to introduce THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE, a professional taping and production brought to you by our friends at Kismis Ink Photography! Hear the keynotes and main stage talks from , , from , , and , and so much more!

PREORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW!

Read more

Welcome, my friend. I’m Kimberly Phinney, professor, poet, and counselor, and My Way Back is a weekly newsletter from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, a literary journal, podcast, publisher (The Way Back Books), and creative community. I’m writing a book on art, faith, and belonging with Baker Books, and I share a lot on those topics here. If you’re new, WELCOME! You are warmly invited to subscribe and join our rooted community. When you become a paid subscriber, you get my writing courses for FREE and get to attend Poetry University and my office hours every month.

Our next Poetry University: July 28th at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom (live and recorded).

My next office hours with The Professor Is In: August 6th at 8:30 pm ET on Zoom (live only).

Subscribe now

Hi, friends.

I have some BIG news! And, yes, I may have lost my mind. But honestly? I don’t mind one bit. I want to make my NEW writing course accessible to everyone!

I wrote an extremely comprehensive writing course that sold like hotcakes in 2023 and 2024 called How to Grow Your Writing Life. If you don’t know, paid subscribers can access this 4-week course for FREE in our post archives. Since then, I have written a brand-new course over the past two years or so as its companion. It’s called The Creativity Library, and today I am excited to tell you that all paid subscribers will also get this course for FREE over the next couple of months. This writing course is GENERATIVE, and I created it for every kind of writer (at every level) so they can be supercharged in their creative work and craft as they CREATE IN THE MARGINS of their busy lives.

Here’s what you get in the course:

- 10 themed immersive creative writing prompts with book recommendations & poetry to inspire your content & craft

- 18 proven creativity hacks & practices to get you creating more in the margins

- 3 “created to create” devotionals with prayer & journaling opportunities

-a liturgy for creatives & their work

-a catalogue of creativity resources & products curated just for you

-students wander through Kimberly’s childhood library with her, as their prompts are inspired by the various sections: Geography, History, Literature, The Fine Arts, Nature, and Religion

Here’s a FREE sneak peek for EVERYONE because I know how valuable this course is!

The Creativity Library Intro And Free Sneak Peek

30.8MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Hello, friend.

I am so glad you are here. Before we dive in, I want to share the heart and inspiration behind The Creativity Library.

Since I was a little girl, libraries held a deep sense of wonder. Walking into the old multi-storied library of my childhood presented endless possibilities to my young mind. The stairs creaked, which obviously meant magic was happening around every corner. The myriad books, striped in every color, held stories and worlds inside that promised to swallow me whole—in the very best way, of course. And that old earthy smell of a well-loved book felt like home and escape all at once. The possibilities to explore, learn, and create felt endless.

Have you ever felt that way about a sacred place from your childhood? It’s this very feeling—inspired by my memories of that historic library nestled down by the bay—that cultivates this collection of prompts and creative opportunities. I can’t wait to take you by the hand, as we roam aisle after aisle, through the library of my youth and the library of your mind.

Won’t you join me in this generative course designed to help you create meaningful work and get a jumpstart on your next creative project? Grab some paper, your favorite writing utensil, and settle into your best writing spot (maybe your writer’s desk, a comfy place on the couch, or your favorite cafe?) and turn the page when you’re ready. The magic of The Creativity Library is waiting just for you!

You belong here,

me

You can access the course in two deeply discounted ways:

1. Paid subscribers will get it FREE over the coming weeks, with a new PDF lesson released right here on Substack. The next free installment is behind the paywall at the end of this post. You can become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month if you’d like the free access. All paid subscribers have access to my archives and FREE attendance to Poetry University (as well as all previous courses), which meets monthly on Zoom (live and recorded). If you are already a paid subscriber, enjoy this FREE course. This is my way of saying thank you to our wonderful nearly 90 supporters of my work here!!

Subscribe now

2. Followers and subscribers can get the course NOW for a DISCOUNT for the SUMMER at our website here: The Creativity Library with Prof. Kimberly Phinney

Download

A little about me: Hi, I’m Kimberly, in case we haven’t met yet. I’m a nationally award-winning educator and professor with over 20 years of experience. My B.S. and M.Ed. are in English Education and English, and my doctorate (candidate) is in Community Care and Counseling. I have two best-selling poetry collections: Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground. My poetry has won several awards from major Christian magazines and journals. I am writing a book on art, faith, and belonging with Baker Books, and I am also the founder, editor-in-chief, and publisher of TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. I am hopeful that these unique experiences will translate into your growth as a faithful creative and writer.

I hope my course deeply blesses this community. At the end of the day, I will always be a TEACHER first, and this is my way to keep teaching and giving back in a way that is accessible to all! I can’t thank you enough for being here! You have truly given my life such purpose and richness. If you take it, I would LOVE to hear from you! You can email me at thewayback2ourselves@gmail.com and chat in our My Way Back Community here on Substack. The next lesson will be published in a few weeks! Can’t wait to share it.

As always…

You belong here,

me

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TODAY’S POST AND PODCAST EPISODE ARE PACKED WITH GOODNESS. LISTEN, CONNECT, AND BE SURE TO SCROLL DOWN FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE CULTIVATE RETREAT AND OUR WRITING AND CREATIVE SERVICES.

The Way Back Podcast is brought to you by TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, with co-host and producer Edward Holmes and founder , an English professor, author, editor, and counselor, who is a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling. Her poetry collections, Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground, are available wherever books are sold. She is an award-winning poet and educator, and her book on art, faith, and belonging will debut with Baker Books in 2027.

Don’t miss the news below about The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal’s submission window announcement for the Fall Collection!

Come join Kimberly as she sits down with Dr. , counselor and author of Healing What’s Within and When Narcissism Comes to Church. In this new episode, Chuck and Kimberly dig deep as they explore what it really means to heal in our bodies, in our faith, and from the trauma of our past. This episode is equal parts equipping and inspirational, and you won’t want to miss it. If you loved our conversation, please be sure to connect with Chuck and grab one of his books, which can be purchased wherever books are sold.

So, come, friends, and sit down with us. We think you’ll find some goodness here.

Chuck speaks on:

-his hard-won insights from his own story and his work as a pastor and counselor

-how to reimagine God’s encounter with Adam and Eve in the garden after they eat the fruit

-key transformational features from his newest book, Healing What’s Within

-authenticity, vulnerability, and boundaries

-what the road to deep healing may look like and the gifts we find along the way

-healing with Internal Family Systems

-and so much more

This is an episode you won’t want to miss! It’s truly special.

You can find Dr. Chuck DeGroat here:

His Substack:

His Instagram: @chuckdegroat

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR COMMUNITY

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PREORDER NOW.

If you’re looking for even MORE inspiration and you missed the Cultivate Retreat, you can enjoy the virtual experience by pre-ordering the recordings HERE. They will be available in early August. Hear from Stephen Roach, founder of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics, Amanda Held Opelt, author and musician, Ben Palpant, author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea with The Rabbit Room, Kimberly Phinney, professor, author, and founder of TWBTO, Deidre Braley, editor and author with Revel Books… and so many more!

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THE WAY BACK TO OURSELVES LITERARY JOURNAL IS BACK!

The Cultivate Retreat left such a profound impact on our community—and in many ways, it felt like the conversation was just getting started—so we decided to continue it with this NEW edition of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal. Whether you attended the retreat or not, this Fall’s ROOTED Collection is a gracious and expansive invitation to everyone in our greater community.

Submissions open September 1-October 1. You can learn more below from our recent Substack post and at our website’s contact page.

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DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

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JOIN MY WAY BACK NOW. YOU BELONG HERE.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, as well as a seat to her office hours happening each month on Zoom, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her writing courses, a year of Poetry University, and a year of her office hours are a $1300 value. Join the nearly 100 students today! You belong here!

Subscribe now

Welcome to My Way Back, a Substack from Kimberly Phinney, writer, professor, editor, publisher, and founder of TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, a literary journal, podcast, publisher (The Way Back Books), and creative community. If you’re new, WELCOME! You are warmly invited to subscribe and join our rooted community.

The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal is back this fall! Please kindly “like” and share this post so other writers and artists can find it!

You get to hear it first, dear Substack friends! The theme for The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal’s Fall Collection is ROOTED, which is a continuation of the powerful summer retreat we just hosted in historic downtown Greenville, SC. Our fall theme is based on Jeremiah 17:7-8. Keep reading below to learn more!

Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.

The Cultivate Retreat left such a profound impact on our community—and in many ways, it felt like the conversation was just getting started—so we decided to continue it with this NEW edition of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal. Whether you attended the retreat or not, this Fall’s ROOTED Collection is a gracious and expansive invitation to everyone in our greater community.

ON BEING ROOTED IN AN UPROOTED WORLD

It’s a fair critique to say that modernity has led to a restlessness, a sort of uprootedness, if you will. The messaging of hyper-individualism is ubiquitous. Institutions, in many ways, have failed us. The rise of AI and other dubious technological advances has left us unmoored and rightfully fearful over what the near future may hold. Political divisions and wars—and the rumors of wars—have torn us asunder, as we raise our eyes to the heavens and cry, “Help us, oh Lord!”

It is this uncertainty that we would like to step into with this fall’s offering—carrying our literary lanterns into the dark nights, offering our healing balm for what ails the soul, carrying a message of eternal rootedness that cannot be uprooted, even by the most savage of storms.

“How could this possibly be?” you might ask. “The world is falling apart! The odds are against us! It’s a fool’s errand to try to stop the ships that are running us aground…”

By the world’s terms, you’d be right. But, you see, we serve a God who redeems the wretched, who works beauty from ashes, and who said with his life, “I am making all things new!” The true myth, as C.S. Lewis called it, is this: Even in the face of persecution, devastation, and crucifixion, there is always, always, always a Resurrection. These supernatural roots run deep. They cannot be ripped up by the winds of change or the floods of disaster. The raging fires cannot touch us at the depths to which we have rooted.

And in the most impossible set of circumstances, the faithful choose to fruit. As creatives and writers, we know that our most important work happens in the boat on the Sea of Galilee. It happens at Gethsemane and Golgotha. It is in the ninth hour when the artist gets to work.

So, dear faithful creatives and writers, bring us your rooted work, offer up your budding and ripened fruit. Set a table this fall with the thanksgiving of your poetry, stories, essays, photos, and fine art. There are at least one million ways to celebrate the Christian’s rooted life in the years of drought. Our brothers and sisters need what we have to offer. And in the words of my good friend and mentor, , “Keep creating. The world needs your art.”

Please be sure to learn more about our submission details at our “Contact” page on the website before you submit.

SUBMIT HERE.

Here are more ideas and important details for your submissions:

If we were sitting in a classroom together, I’d ask you to take this down in your notebook. Here are just some of the unique ways you might engage with this year’s theme:

1. direct engagement with Jeremiah 17:7-8

2. personal engagement about your own seasons of uprootedness and how God delivered you to rootedness

3. cultural engagement with uprootedness and how to become rooted again in Christ and community

4. the artist’s unique engagement with roots and fruits

5. trees, roots, and fruits as metaphors for some other spiritual discovery

6. the forest as a place of meeting (humans rooted by an encounter with God)

7. rootedness as divine beauty (God’s creation on display)

8. the forest as a place of testing (failure, temptation, brokenness as a threat to rootedness)

9. the forest as a place of revelation (clearer vision, divine truth, eternal wisdom)

10. roots as a symbol of permanence (stability, God’s eternal Kingdom)

11. liminal spaces, thin spaces, the now and not yet as it relates to the many metaphors found in trees, roots, and fruits

12. going ekphrastic and seeing how you can connect a piece of fine art to the theme of rootedness

13. writing in response to a poem that is about rootedness, for example, Wendell Berry’s “The Sycamore,” Robert Frost’s “Birches,” Seamus Heaney’s “Digging,” or Langston Hughes’s “The Negro Speaks of Rivers”

14. and so many more…

Here’s what we are not looking for:

1. anything made with AI at any process in the creative act: brainstorming, writing, and editing.

2. politically charged or divisive work (we worship the Lamb, not the donkey or the elephant)

3. topics that do not align with historical Christianity and sound biblical teaching

4. unpolished work that lacks a commitment to craft and the rules of grammar and syntax

5. previously published work (this includes Substack, Instagram, or personal websites/blogs)

6. work that is explicit in nature

7. work that is not on the fall theme

8. work that is obvious, simplistic, or proselytizing

I hope these rich offerings stoke your creative fire as you consider our fall theme and the many ways you can engage with it.

So, please bring us your best poetry, essays, short stories, photography, and fine art for our Fall 2026 Collection: ROOTED. Submissions open Sept. 1-Oct. 1.

You can learn about all of the details at our website: TheWayBack2Ourselves.com.

FIND SUBMISSION DETAILS HERE.

You belong here,

TWBTO Team and me

Welcome, friends!

Before I share details below, I want to say that THIS was probably one of the BEST Poetry University lessons yet! has joined us as a co-instructor, and his involvement has elevated our experience. Jason is our resident farmer-poet at TheWayBack2Ourselves.com and a vital member of the community, and we are so grateful for him.

Also, STAY TUNED: I’ll be sharing some exciting news about new offerings here at My Way Back soon! We think you’re going to love it!

Poetry University is a monthly community where paid subscribers of My Way Back come together to create a sense of belonging and learn about poetry, craft, publishing, platform, the artist’s soul, and much more.

With my long teaching career (over 20 years, if you’re asking…), poetry awards and collections, degrees in English, and a doctoral candidacy in Community Care and Counseling, Poetry University is a unique blend of academic excellence and deep soul care for the faithful creative.

If you’d like to join us, just become a paid subscriber, and Poetry University is my gift to you. Monthly subscriptions are only $8 a month for my essays, poetry, and podcast, but you are also helping to crowdfund this course, which would be at least $700 per person per year through other venues, because your paid subscription also includes BOTH OF MY CREATIVE WRITING COURSES via monthly posts. Your paid subscription to My Way Back includes the LIVE monthly meetups and these recorded postings with review materials.

If you become a paid subscriber today, you’ll have immediate access to all previous classes in the prior paid posts (best viewed on the website version of Substack). So, trust me; it’s worth it!

Subscribe now

POETRY UNIVERSITY CLASS #10

• To kick off, fellow poet and community member opened us with a prayer and a devotional thought. This is a new favorite tradition that provides soul-care and prepares our hearts for class.

• We also shared about our editorial and creative consultants, like , , , , , and others. You can hire us HERE.

• Then, we had a great poetry lesson on how to truly SEE in our writing, inspired by the words and poetry of Mary Oliver. We learned about naming the particular and the power of image.

• Next, we had a powerful generative prompt inspired by the work of Vincent van Gogh. Students worked and shared.

• Then, shared our updated curated list of literary journals and magazines that are accepting submissions RIGHT NOW, so students can submit their work and get published. I know I did, and I got a poem published. We know you can, too!

• And finally, we assigned homework challenges and agreed to meet again for Poetry University #11 in late July. The NEW date for Poetry University #11 is July 28 at 8:30 p.m. ET. We will have critiques and writing/craft advice this go around, so bring your poetry for feedback!

I am so grateful to the wonderful poets and writers who attended LIVE and to all the others who watch the recordings! We’d love to hear from you below!!

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THE CULTIVATE RETREAT VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE

Did you want to attend the Cultivate Retreat with TheWayBack2Ourselves.com but couldn’t? We got you covered! We are happy to introduce THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE, a professional taping and production brought to you by our friends and Kismis Ink Photography! Hear the keynotes and main stage talks from , , from , , and , and so much more!

PREORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW!

HERE’S THE RECORDING OF POETRY UNIVERSITY CLASS #10, which includes the generative poetry prompt and curated list of where to submit your poetry right now!

Read more

GETTING ROOTED AT CULTIVATE

Hello, friends! I pray today’s post finds you well. As many of you might know, our team and community just wrapped our third annual Cultivate Retreat. This year’s theme was ROOTED, and we gathered with our generous partners at First Presbyterian Church in historic downtown Greenville, SC. From beginning to end, the retreat was beyond our expectations. God moved in huge ways, as he always does; we were just glad and blessed to be a part of it and to witness it with our own eyes and lives. I know we will share so much more about the retreat in the coming weeks, but first, I’d like to give away the transcript to my opening session for FREE to our greater community. I want to do this for at least two reasons. First, I think I need to because it’s a message God wants me to freely give away. And also, I really want you to get a taste of what we do at TheWayBack2Ourselves.com if you are new here. So, please, enjoy my talk below, which was at the heart of the weekend’s mission (SCROLL DOWN).

Did you want to attend the Cultivate Retreat with TheWayBack2Ourselves.com but couldn’t? We got you covered! We are happy to introduce THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE, a professional taping and production brought to you by our friends and Kismis Ink Photography!

PREORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW!

YOUR ART IS NOT ABOUT YOU

In a world full of platforms and personas, where going viral and trying to rack up more followers than Jesus is all too prevalent, it’s easy for us Christian creatives to go sideways—to get caught up in the raging currents, whether we are trying to keep up or because we’re assessing ourselves as failures simply because we can’t keep up—or won’t.

The machine—be it Instagram, rampant consumerism, or modernity itself—tells us, “It’s all about you.” All of it. Your vibe, your main character energy, your side hustle, you name it!

But the truth is, it’s not about us, and it never was.

That’s what I need you to know: I’ve come here to tell you that YOUR ART ISN’T ABOUT YOU.

That’s shocking to hear; I know.

You’ve come to a Christian arts retreat, and that’s how I open? I’m sure I’ve disappointed you… And I bet you might be thinking, How could my art NOT be about me when everywhere I look, I’m being told I need a brand, a platform, and a social media manager if I want to create something meaningful? Or more practically, How can my art NOT be about me? I’m the one making it!

I hear you. I hear you. But please, let me explain…

Allow me to present proof number one: There is more to life than platforming ourselves. Our theme is ROOTED, so let’s take a look at the tree as an object lesson. A tree has many parts: roots, a trunk, branches, leaves, and, for some, even fruit—so let’s focus there for a moment: Why does the tree make fruit at all? Is the fruit for the tree’s own consumption? Its own vanity? No. Just as the tree’s fruits aren’t for the tree, the art you make is meant to nourish someone else (even though you find deep purpose in it). The tree’s purpose is not to devour its own fruit; its purpose is to be a fruit-maker so that others can flourish, so generations can seed, take root, and grow. The tree knows its essence, its calling—and it’s not to be a platform (elevated and performative) in the forest… but to be a pillar (planted and righteous). Because the tree dares to root and fruit, everything else thrives.

When we nourish, others flourish. Our job, as faithful creatives, is to root and produce fruit for the sake of others.

In his book Platforms to Pillars, Mark Sayers contrasts the shallow platform mentality with the deep, rooted work of faithful pillars:

He writes that the platform phenomenon has created “a new kind of individual… an individual who is more self-centered but also in more pain… the platform mentality has produced power and exclusivity…constant social comparison and competition, working against community cohesion, creating social chaos and conflict… And most tragically, “The platform society offers us godlike elevation and visibility, yet our lived reality is human weakness. The more we attempt to build a platform, the more powerless we can find ourselves in a chaotic and changing world.”

In short, we are eating our own fruit, and it’s making us sick.

Now, let’s look at what it means to be a pillar, or in our context, a rooted tree: Sayers writes, “…human pillars provide an essential part of human social, cultural, and relational life. Through their resilience, courage, and fortitude, pillars bear loads for others by taking responsibility and offering support and encouragement. They work with other pillars to pass down the generations’ vital knowledge and wisdom through instruction and the example of their lives. Living this way, pillars create space for others to succeed and flourish. They do this through service, sacrifice, self-denial, and living for the greater good…”

The differences between a platform and a pillar mentality are stark. And if you’ll allow me to disciple you for just a moment, I hope and pray you’ll ask yourself who you will be in life: the one who is lifted up or the one who is lifting up others? Which posture reflects Christ’s nature? Which posture is he calling you into?

Dr. Timothy Keller calls this generative posture “self-forgetfulness” in his small but mighty book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. He writes that “Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, ‘I’m in this room with these people, does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?’ True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. This is the freedom of self-forgetfulness, and the blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings…”

It’s not about thinking less of ourselves; it’s thinking about ourselves less.

But here’s another thing: It’s not just about posture; it’s about longevity—sheer faithfulness and perseverance… The extent to which the roots of the tree are deep and strong is also the extent to which it will bear good fruit, year after year.

The key phrase here is “year after year.”

No doubt, the tree will experience drought, harsh winds, scavengers, and fires. The tree is a lot like us. And like the tree, we too will face doubt and drought, winds of change, enemies of all kinds, and the hungry flames of loss and grief. In fact, I know many of us have carried grief with us this weekend.

Yet despite the tree’s misfortunes and hardships, its purpose never wavers. The forest’s survival relies on the tree. The birds, the animals, and future generations all rely on its shade, its fruit, its goodness.

Did you know this broken world is relying on you to bear fruit? For the artist, bearing fruit looks like writing, dancing, sculpting, painting, drawing, speaking, and more. If you’ve made and shared anything, you know how brave, vulnerable, and even arduous this act of faith can be—and sometimes, like the tree, we must endure horrible circumstances for the sake of the call.

The faithful artist’s commission requires all of ourselves—without making it about ourselves.

So, how do we endure—and even thrive? How do we grow hearty roots so that we might go on to bear fruit, year after year? And how do we ensure that our fruit is beautiful, good, and true? These are the questions Cultivate’s ROOTED Retreat wants to enter into with you. “There are years that ask questions and years that answer,” as Alice Walker penned in Their Eyes Were Watching God, and it is our prayer that this weekend whispers answers you have been longing to hear.

The Bible is adorned with imagery and metaphor that teach about the nature of good roots and the sacred fruits we are commissioned to bear. There is, of course, the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. But tonight, I’d like to focus on our theme verse for ROOTED, which is Jeremiah 17:7-8, and it reads:

As we pause to take in this verse, I invite you to close your eyes and imagine yourself like a tree planted by still waters. Slowly breathe in, hold, and exhale. Imagine sending your roots out toward the stream. Release your fears. Embrace the eternal peace of the Deep. He calls you to himself. Allow your leaves to reach and grow, a verdant and forever green… as you release all worry and strife. Droughts and fallow ground do not threaten your flourishing. And despite everything, you bear fruit—beautiful, good, and true…

You, my friends, are his handiwork…

In my forthcoming book on art, faith, and belonging, The New Christian Renaissance: God’s Commission to Beautify the World and How it Saves Us in the Process, debuting with Baker Books next year, I explore the role of the artist in the Creation Mandate God gave to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, as well as the Great Commission Christ left with his disciples in Matthew 28. The book is a mix of my personal story and a bold call for Christian artists to actively engage in artmaking and culture-making, and for the Church to welcome the artist back home—since so many Christian artists often feel like misunderstood exiles.

Well, one of my favorite lines I’ve written so far is a simple yet profound one, which I can hardly take credit for since God revealed it to me one quiet afternoon when I was particularly sick. It goes like this:

Friends, we are called to be disciples, and art is one of the many ways we can do this. In fact, I believe with all my heart that writers and artmakers alike will be the next missionaries in this new Renaissance, and the souls they meet with the art they make will be the new frontier. The next spiritual revival will come through an aesthetic invitation to the transcendentals: beauty, truth, and goodness—and not as a means unto themselves, but as a gorgeous and undeniable invitation to the DIVINE.

So, before we enjoy some spoken word from and to kick off the weekend, I want to leave you with one more proof: this famous work of art by the Dutch Reformation painter Rembrandt. It’s called Artist in His Studio, and it perfectly embodies what I am trying to articulate.

Take it in for a second. Breathe it in. Study its details. Have you noticed something interesting, perhaps the point of view?

Rembrandt makes a daring statement here. His art includes you, his viewer, his patron, his student, whoever you are, as a part of its composition. Artist in His Studio is one of his many famous “self-portraits.” In this case, Rembrandt is dwarfed in comparison to his canvas and you, his observer. His art and his audience take center stage. The artist watches on, far off—obscured even. His button eyes make it almost impossible for us to determine if he is gazing at his art or at us.

Writing on Artist in His Studio, author and theologian Andy Crouch says this in his book Culture Making:

“At first glance, the painting seems to be all about the solitude of the creative task, but the more time we spend with it, the more aware we become that we, the viewers, in whatever role we may play, are just as necessary to this painting’s essence as the artist. The canvas exists to be eventually turned around so that others can see it. Even if the artist is alone in his studio, his studio is for others. It contains multitudes.”

Listen to that last part again: “The canvas exists to be eventually turned around so that others can see it. Even if the artist is alone in his studio, his studio is for others. It contains multitudes.”

Wow. Artmaking isn’t about a single person; it’s about a posture, an outpouring. And our art, no matter how humble or grandiose, depends on the artist’s own “willingness to risk being a creator…” because we recognize that what we are creating is in some sense more lasting and of greater importance than ourselves, as Crouch concludes.

This weekend is about that kind of posture. It is a warm and rooted invitation to answer the artist’s call, to step into your divine role as a writer and creative, and to partner with our expansive, loving, and perfect Creator to beautify his Kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven.”

And the best way to do that is to become rooted in faith, community, and craft so that you may go and bear good fruit that nourishes others.

Because, as I said—and I hope I’ve convinced you by now—your art is NOT about you.

Yes, your art is many things: It’s prayer. It’s worship. It’s discipleship. It’s an offering.

But it’s not about you… And isn’t that the most beautiful, wondrous, and exciting news?

I hope you enjoyed my talk. I pray my words might bless you somehow. It’s straight from my heart to yours and what God has been showing me. I hope you might join us in the work one day, if you haven’t—whether you grab the virtual experience, attend Cultivate next year, join Poetry University or Poetry Cohort, or submit to our annual literary journal.

You belong here,

Kimberly

Did you want to attend the Cultivate Retreat with TheWayBack2Ourselves.com but couldn’t? We got you covered! We are happy to introduce THE VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE!

PREORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW!

Enjoy our KEYNOTE speakers: , author with ; , founder of The Breath and the Clay and podcast host of Makers and Mystics; and , musician and author of several books. and will be joining us as well with a breakout session on writing and publishing.

IT’S TIME TO GET ROOTED.

PREORDER YOUR VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE NOW!

I hope you’ll join our TWBTO team and me through this new offering: , , , , , , , , and more, along with The Way Back Books authors: , , , , and .

We would be honored to share this space with you VIRTUALLY and come beside you as you answer God’s call to create and become more rooted in your life and community.

You belong here,

Kimberly and TWBTO Team

We are so grateful to the generosity of our partner, First Presbyterian Church, and their fine arts director (and our wonderful friend), , for helping to make this dream come true for so many.

Hi, friend.

Are you there? I know it’s Sunday, and this is an unplanned, unscripted post, but I was hoping we could talk. Something my friend posted on his Substack inspired me to share. What he wrote about his mental health hit me hard, and it urged me to write openly and honestly, too, as we bid Mental Health Awareness Month farewell.

MY BLUE OCTOPUS

In his short essay (and poem), “Cinnamon Bear on Deadman Mountain,” Nick calls depression his Cinnamon Bear. You’ll have to read it to know what he means and what I mean when I say I call it my Blue Octopus. Sometimes, I even call it my Dark Cloud. Both names are appropriate because mental illness knows how to appear and disappear and how to morph. I have other names (epithets I won’t say here). And I’m sure you have names if you’ve been visited, too. But of all the names, my Blue Octopus is the one I like best. I carry him with me wherever I go. And though he’s been a burden, one I wouldn’t wish on an enemy, he’s taught me things nothing else could.

In fact, here’s my poem, “My Blue Octopus,” which I published with (formerly Ekstasis) and is in my bestselling debut poetry collection, Of Wings and Dirt. It expresses my experience better than I can articulate tonight:

MY BLUE OCTOPUS
by Kimberly Phinney

I. 

In your cloud of arms, 
pressing down,
I am dragged:

Oh, you invertebrate!
I am no match for your grip 
(eight-fold and tentacled).
My Medusa, my Leviathan—
you blue-ringed, 
bulging, 
bulbous thing
I am unable 
to shake 
or swim 
without. 

II.

In your deep waters
I go 
down, 
down,
down:

Oh, how you collapse me—
flattened and unrecognizable—
like you, 
soft-bodied and disappearing 
into 
the 
smallest
of 
spaces.

I am held close—
cradled and anesthetized—
like your prey, 
an enveloped nervous system 
in your electric glow.

Down,
	down,
		down
			I go.

III:

In your den, so familiar, 
I am reminded 
how to survive:

Oh, to ask the right questions
of death 
and my despair.
Oh, my Blue Octopus!
Are you my predatory guide? 
Pointing me eight-times 
to watch the pearls fly 
as they float to the surface—
those miniature pockets of life
I am meant 
to trail behind?

Did I hear you mouth, 
“Save yourself”
or was it 
“Stay a little while”?

I do not know.

Or am I now a part of you? 
A scrap of the living
you keep
in your cavern,
going on and on in 
our own mythology— 
and finally seeing 
in our decay 
and drowning
that under 
great pressure,
we need only 
bleed ink
to survive? 

HOW I SURVIVED

The DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, if you’re asking) calls my Blue Octopus Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I hate them both, but it’s the anxiety that undoes me. First, it’s the depression that slips in unannounced and hangs out with me for a while. It’s nagging and heavy, but then it shapeshifts to a simmering panic and dread that I can’t shake—even when I have more than enough to make me happy… and even joyful. Instead of feeling peace, my heart races; I feel like I am being thrown off a building, and sleep eludes me when I need it the most.

You know it, and I know it. Depression and anxiety do not play fair. They attack your mind and your body. They don’t give a rip that you have blessings, that you have done the work, that you (separate from them) have passions, responsibilities, and so much to live for.

I have dealt with serious mental health issues since I was in my early twenties. I went through some traumas that I’m not ready to write about in my childhood and some in adulthood that wired my body for chaos. Little did I know that my stage 4 endometriosis was also playing a gigantic role behind the scenes, long before it tried to kill me in my thirties. And then, my critical-turned-chronic illness complicated my mental health in ways I can’t even begin to address in this post.

Now, I am in my forties, and it still lives with me alongside my physical illness. But having battled it more than half my life, I have learned a few things along the way (as a sufferer, an educator who worked closely with at-risk teens for two decades, and a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling), and I’d like to humbly share them with you now in hopes it might save someone a little (or at least comfort them):

1. Shame is a secondary emotion, and it’s the most dangerous one. It’s the one that turns people inward, gets them completely alone, and is the one that wins the war if it’s not stopped. Silence the shame, and you can save a life: yours and theirs.

   There is NO shame in your suffering. NONE. We are fragile and fantastic creatures made in God’s image, his Imago Dei. We have a stunning capacity to feel and survive. Once we can feel God’s ENDLESS, NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED LOVE, we can drown out the fear (1 John 4:18).

   In the counselor’s office, this is called unconditional positive regard, and when we offer it to ourselves and others, shame begins to evaporate. When shame is dead, healing and acceptance can begin. If you can’t extend unconditional positive regard to yourself, find someone you can trust who will. Sometimes we need it modeled for us and given back to us again and again until we learn it for ourselves. Now, when I am in the pit, shame is no longer a bedmate—and that has made all the difference. I know that I am deeply loved, and that deep belief wills me to keep going. It was the shame on top of the mental illness that made things unbearable. Once I conquered shame, I was able to survive it.

2. Life will go on, and you must let it. When my Blue Octopus strikes, I remind myself that “I am the sky, and my feelings are just the passing clouds” (inspired by Pema Chödrön).

   I have learned to observe my feelings and symptoms as things happening to me, rather than being me. I practice curiosity rather than condemnation. I am not my mental illness. I struggle with mental illness.

   This degree of separation is fundamental in healing, which I have learned through my in-depth studies with Internal Family Systems (IFS). I recommend the book Boundaries for Your Soul, by Dr. Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller, to begin your journey in parts work with the spirit-led self. I have bought this book at least five other times and put it in the hands of people I love. Also, here are other quotes I have held onto that remind me that these bouts are passing and that there will be life after them:

   “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” —Frederick Buechner

   “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” —Rilke

   “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you; when you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown; when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” —Isaiah 43:2

3. The Cross co-exists with your pain, and that is what makes it bearable. This is called theodicy. For years, I saw my suffering as a place completely devoid of God. It was the place where he had forsaken me. So, wherever the depression and anxiety were, that was No Man’s Land—a dark, war-torn field where no good, love, or grace could flourish. In my mind, there was just the darkness and me—a gnawing maw come to swallow me whole. But now, just as I can imagine my Blue Octopus, I can imagine the Cross, planted firm in the center of No Man’s Land, redeeming it all.

   Christ was our Man of Sorrows. He came to step into that darkness and redeem it. He was put through the Garden of Gethsemane, Golgotha, and the tomb. But we know how the story ends. No Man’s Land only lasts a short while—because on the third day Christ rose again.

   The Cross reaches perpendicularly and horizontally. Followed to its end, the Cross extends to all of eternity, and Christ is at its center. That means the Cross is big enough to cover your Dark Night of the Soul. Now, when the darkness strikes me, I don’t see myself alone in it. I feel the Cross in it; I see it and all it represents.

4. And finally, make your pain a gift—for yourself and others. The most important thing I ever did was extend my suffering as a gift to others through my service and writing. When I say poetry saved my life, I mean it. God gave me a song to sing in my darkest hour, and had I not shared it, TheWayBack2Ourselves.com would not exist, my poetry collections would not exist, my forthcoming book with Baker Books would not exist—and neither would I. I wouldn’t have made it. When we create, the “fear and panic” parts of our brains cease as they toggle in service of the creative task (there’s complex science here). toggle

   God made our brains to literally rewire and heal when we are creating something new—be it a poem, a work of art, a dance, a song, a garden, or a meal… you name it.

   If you have the capacity to love and serve others through your suffering, I beg you to try—even just once. You’ll experience what I mean! And, along these lines, telling yourself new and redeeming stories about your suffering also leads to healing. It’s called “ReStory” or “retelling your story,” and it is something you can do in conjunction with Narrative Therapy. It’s a powerful tool I have used for myself and with my students and clients. We must keep telling ourselves “the greatest story ever told,” so that whatever other story we’ve created or that has been told to us cannot stand a chance in ruining our souls.

Dear reader, I hope you found something here, and if there are typos, that you might forgive me! May you find the light more and more. It’s waiting for you—and for me. God bless you always.

You belong here,

Kimberly

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you know and trust or find a licensed mental healthcare provider. If you are in distress, please dial 988, the suicide hotline. God bless you.

CREATIVE INVITATIONS FOR YOU

Come to the CULTIVATE RETREAT, happening June 19-21 in Greenville, SC. We’d LOVE to have you! Let’s meet in person and get ROOTED in art and faith together! The Cultivate Retreat is just three weeks away, and we will close ticket sales on June 10. IF YOU BUY A TICKET BY JUNE 1, here’s my gift to you: ROOTED15 is a 15% off code! You can learn more and get your tickets HERE.

Hear from Amanda Held Opelt (author and musician), Ben Palpant (author with The Rabbit Room), Deidre Braley (author and editor), Stephen Roach (founder of The Breath and the Clay), me (your friendly neighborhood poet), Solum Literary Press and The Clayjar Review, and so many more…

Here’s a sneak peek at our keynotes and speaker highlights:

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DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

---

JOIN MY WAY BACK AND POETRY UNIVERSITY

My Way Back is a reader-supported publication from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a paid subscriber for just $8.00 a month or gift My Way Back to someone you love who needs a little LIGHT. All paid subscribers get Kimberly Phinney’s two writing courses for FREE as a gift (see post archives) and get to attend our monthly POETRY UNIVERSITY, which is a Zoom course where nearly 100 students meet to learn about poetry, publishing, Substack, craft, and more (live and recorded).

You belong here!

BECOME A PAID MEMBER TODAY AND JOIN US AT POETRY UNIVERSITY THIS MONTH ON ZOOM FOR FREE. IT’LL BE A CREATIVE AND INSPIRATIONAL TIME! COME ONE, COME ALL!

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Welcome, my friend. I’m Kimberly Phinney, professor, poet, and counselor, and My Way Back is a weekly newsletter from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, a literary journal, podcast, publisher (The Way Back Books), and creative community. I’m writing a book on art, faith, and belonging with Baker Books, and I share a lot on those topics here. If you’re new, WELCOME! You are warmly invited to subscribe and join our rooted community.

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Hello, friends.

I am so happy to be back with you today. I have been pouring most of my creative energy into my forthcoming book with Baker Books AND our third annual CULTIVATE RETREAT, happening June 19-21 in Greenville, SC. Of course, we’d LOVE to have you! Let’s meet in person and get ROOTED in art and faith together! The Cultivate Retreat is just three weeks away, and we will close ticket sales on June 10. IF YOU BUY A TICKET BY JUNE 1, here’s my gift to you: ROOTED15 is a 15% off code! You can learn more and get your tickets HERE.

Hear from (author and musician), (author with ), (author and editor), (founder of The Breath and the Clay), me (your friendly neighborhood poet), and , and so many more…

Here’s a sneak peek at our keynotes and speaker highlights:

Today, I have a prayer and TWO new poems for you, as well as a personal invitation to join Poetry University tomorrow night, 5/28, on Zoom at 8:30 pm. This month’s class is inspired by Mary Oliver and Vincent van Gogh, as we learn to truly see the world with fresh eyes. It’s going to be a special one, and you don’t want to miss this opportunity to be in creative community. If you’d like to join us, just become a paid subscriber below (and we’ll email you the Zoom link). Poetry University is my FREE gift to this community. In addition, you get both of my writing courses for FREE, which you can access in the post archives: How to Grow Your Writing Life (a four-week course on craft and rhythms) and The Creativity Library (a multi-part generative course for writers who want to create more in the margins). I hope these offerings serve you well—because it’s my heart to make these resources accessible to every kind of writer and their budget.

Subscribe now

Also, don’t miss our new podcast episode with writer and editor (my editor) :

And if you’re looking for a sublime podcast episode on poetry and seeing, check out one of our most popular ones with poet and editor :

Alright, those are the exciting things I wanted to share, so let’s dive into poetry, why don’t we?

You belong here,

Kimberly

POEMS THAT SEE…

But first, a prayer for new eyes:

Dear Lord,

Let me see you more! Give me new eyes to see 
the many unseen miracles happening all around me.
Lord, release your wonder upon my head, 
so I might drink from this holy fount—
a veritable feast for hungry eyes,
for starved hearts,
for searching souls
(like me).

Amen.

POLAROIDS
by Kimberly Phinney

Our daughter,
she has this giggle
at the apex of her delight—
high-pitched like a siren
peeling through the house.

How many times
has it caught me off guard?
Or sung loud at the latest hours
when she’s supposed to be asleep?
Or erupted in a moment 
we least expected it?

Yet, oh, how I revel in her happy mischief!
This childish pleasure 
that makes no note of time!
That does not ask for permission to exist!
I kiss the ground in my mind as I listen 
and thank God for these signs of life.

But when her mirth stops deep 
into the night because she is finally sleeping,
and the house has fallen into silence,
I begin to imagine a coming emptiness: 
when fairy tales and tickle monsters
become our ancient relics,
when she needs us less and less, 
when she has grown too old 
for unfettered laughter.

Yes, when she is grown 
and the hard and heavy things of this world 
come to nip at her heels 
and she is far from here—
Oh, how I will pray 
that she will never lose her light!
And that she remembers her childhood
like pictures in her mind!

But for tonight, 
while we are all still here 
in this sacred, ordinary year— 
tucked inside our little green house
for three, at the end of the street—
I will bask in my child’s unbridled glee.
I will drink up her laughter, and I will squeeze 
myself into every moment that is warm and good—
taking a million priceless 
Polaroid pictures with my mind—
because I have tasted and seen
these simple days,
and they are 
everything 
to me.

THE GOLDEN HOUR
by Kimberly Phinney

Go, stand 
          and gaze 
                    at the edge
of day, before the ink bleeds in.
The very air is a patinaed bronze.
Clouds, like Greek amphoras resting end to end,
are an ethereal golden ember we are breathing in—
and they shade the sky and land
with dripping honey-fire,
glowing a cornucopia of light.

We blink 
          our eyes 
                    to changes
as the illumination fades, giving way
to the coming cover of dusk— 
But if I squint my eyes just so,
as it goes, goes, goes,
I can still make out an impressionistic print— 
like a Monet or van Gogh,
to carry with me through the dark. 

“Come close—
          breathe in
                    every stroke,”
the Earth beckons. So, I listen to her plea. 
This golden hour is a masterpiece, 
lost to the ashes of time each night.
But God will repaint this bounty tomorrow—
and every day thereafter— 
just like he does with our very lives.

CREATIVE INVITATIONS FOR YOU

DO YOU HAVE A CREATIVE DREAM? LET US HELP YOU MAKE IT A REALITY.

Did you know that TheWayBack2Ourselves.com isn’t just a website? It’s a ROOTED NETWORK OF FAITHFUL CREATIVES working together to BEAUTIFY THE WORLD. Not only do we have a publishing imprint (The Way Back Books), a podcast (The Way Back Podcast), a literary journal (The Way Back to Ourselves), and various teaching cohorts, but we also provide a RICH COLLECTIVE of CREATIVE CONSULTANTS, PUBLISHED WRITERS, and EDITORS who want to come beside you and help you answer the creative call.

LEARN MORE HERE.

---

JOIN MY WAY BACK AND POETRY UNIVERSITY

My Way Back is a reader-supported publication from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a paid subscriber for just $8.00 a month or gift My Way Back to someone you love who needs a little LIGHT. All paid subscribers get Kimberly Phinney’s two writing courses for FREE as a gift (see post archives) and get to attend our monthly POETRY UNIVERSITY, which is a Zoom course where nearly 100 students meet to learn about poetry, publishing, Substack, craft, and more (live and recorded).

You belong here!

BECOME A PAID MEMBER TODAY AND JOIN US AT POETRY UNIVERSITY THIS MONTH ON ZOOM FOR FREE. IT’LL BE A CREATIVE AND INSPIRATIONAL TIME! COME ONE, COME ALL!

Subscribe now

TODAY’S POST AND PODCAST EPISODE ARE PACKED WITH GOODNESS. LISTEN, CONNECT, AND BE SURE TO SCROLL DOWN FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE CULTIVATE RETREAT AND OUR WRITING AND CREATIVE SERVICES.

The Way Back Podcast is brought to you by TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, with co-host and producer Edward Holmes and founder , an English professor, author, editor, and counselor, who is a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling. Her poetry collections, Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground, are available wherever books are sold. She is an award-winning poet and educator, and her book on art, faith, and belonging will debut with Baker Books in 2027.

Don’t miss news on the CULTIVATE RETREAT below!!!

Come join Kimberly as she sits down with , author and editor with Baker Books. In this new episode, Rachel and Kimberly have a fun and unscripted conversation, chatting about all things publishing and the writer’s life. This episode is equal parts equipping and inspirational, and you won’t want to miss it. If you loved it, be sure to connect with Rachel and grab one of her books, which can be purchased wherever books are sold.

So, come, friends, and sit down with us. We think you’ll find some goodness here.

Rachel speaks on:

-her insights as an acquisitions and book editor with Baker Books

-shares important lessons and advice for emerging writers

-references her popular essay with on publishing and platforms, which you can access here:

Inkwell

So You Want to Write a Book?

This Weekly Edition of Inkwell features Rachel Joy Welcher…

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a year ago · 237 likes · 51 comments · Inkwell and Rachel Joy Welcher

-discusses authentic and faithful ways to show up as a Christian writer and creative

-shares about her long and winding journey toward the writing life and becoming a published author and editor

-what’s inspiring her right now

-and so much more

This is an episode you won’t want to miss!

You can find Rachel Joy Welcher here:

Her Substack:

Her Instagram: @racheljwelcher

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR COMMUNITY

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Please join us at Cultivate 26 in Greenville, SC, this summer! SALE ENDS JUNE 1!

The 3rd annual Cultivate Retreat is coming June 19-21 to Greenville, SC, in historic downtown. Come see Amanda Held Opelt, Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics Podcast, of Rabbit Room, Solum Literary Press, The Clayjar Review, Deidre Braley, Matthew Nash, The Village Poet, Edward Holmes, Mariana Herrera Mosli, Rosa Lía Gilbert, Chelsea Fraser, , , , me, and so many more!

GRAB YOUR TICKETS NOW!

FREE AUTHOR/ARTIST HEADSHOTS, FREE COMMUNITY DINNER, FREE PRAYER WALK AT FALLS PARK, FREE MAKERS MARKET SPOTS FOR ATTENDEES TO SELL THEIR BOOKS AND ART

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JOIN MY WAY BACK NOW. YOU BELONG HERE.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her courses and a year of Poetry University are a $700 value. Join the nearly 90 students today! You belong here!

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Welcome, my friend. I’m Kimberly Phinney, professor, poet, and counselor, and My Way Back is a weekly newsletter from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, a literary journal, podcast, publisher (The Way Back Books), and creative community. I’m writing a book on art, faith, and belonging with Baker Books, and I share a lot on those topics here. If you’re new, WELCOME! You are warmly invited to subscribe and join our rooted community. And don’t miss our third annual CULTIVATE RETREAT, meeting this summer in Greenville, SC, from June 19-21. We’d love for you to join us. There are only 25 tickets left.

Hi, friends.

I have some BIG news! And, yes, I may have lost my mind. But honestly? I don’t mind one bit. I want to make my NEW writing course accessible to everyone!

I wrote an extremely comprehensive writing course that sold like hotcakes in 2023 and 2024 called How to Grow Your Writing Life. If you don’t know, paid subscribers can access this 4-week course for FREE in our post archives. Since then, I have written a brand-new course over the past two years or so as its companion. It’s called The Creativity Library, and today I am excited to tell you that all paid subscribers will also get this course for FREE over the next couple of months. This writing course is GENERATIVE, and I created it for every kind of writer (at every level) so they can be supercharged in their creative work and craft as they CREATE IN THE MARGINS of their busy lives.

Here’s what you get in the course:

- 10 themed immersive creative writing prompts with book recommendations & poetry to inspire your content & craft

- 18 proven creativity hacks & practices to get you creating more in the margins

- 3 “created to create” devotionals with prayer & journaling opportunities

-a liturgy for creatives & their work

-a catalogue of creativity resources & products curated just for you

-students wander through Kimberly’s childhood library with her, as their prompts are inspired by the various sections: Geography, History, Literature, The Fine Arts, Nature, and Religion

Here’s a FREE sneak peek for EVERYONE because I know how valuable this course is!

The Creativity Library Intro And Free Sneak Peek

30.8MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Hello, friend.

I am so glad you are here. Before we dive in, I want to share the heart and inspiration behind The Creativity Library.

Since I was a little girl, libraries held a deep sense of wonder. Walking into the old multi-storied library of my childhood presented endless possibilities to my young mind. The stairs creaked, which obviously meant magic was happening around every corner. The myriad books, striped in every color, held stories and worlds inside that promised to swallow me whole—in the very best way, of course. And that old earthy smell of a well-loved book felt like home and escape all at once. The possibilities to explore, learn, and create felt endless.

Have you ever felt that way about a sacred place from your childhood? It’s this very feeling—inspired by my memories of that historic library nestled down by the bay—that cultivates this collection of prompts and creative opportunities. I can’t wait to take you by the hand, as we roam aisle after aisle, through the library of my youth and the library of your mind.

Won’t you join me in this generative course designed to help you create meaningful work and get a jumpstart on your next creative project? Grab some paper, your favorite writing utensil, and settle into your best writing spot (maybe your writer’s desk, a comfy place on the couch, or your favorite cafe?) and turn the page when you’re ready. The magic of The Creativity Library is waiting just for you!

You belong here,

me

You can access the course in two deeply discounted ways:

1. Paid subscribers will get it FREE over the coming weeks, with a new PDF lesson released right here on Substack. The FIRST free installment is behind the paywall at the end of this post. You can become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month if you’d like the free access. All paid subscribers have access to my archives and FREE attendance to Poetry University (as well as all previous courses), which meets monthly on Zoom (live and recorded). If you are already a paid subscriber, enjoy this FREE course. This is my way of saying thank you to our wonderful nearly 90 supporters of my work here!!

Subscribe now

2. Followers and subscribers can get the course NOW for a DISCOUNT for the SUMMER at our website here: The Creativity Library with Prof. Kimberly Phinney

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A little about me: Hi, I’m Kimberly, in case we haven’t met yet. I’m a national award-winning educator and professor with over 20 years of experience. My B.S. and M.Ed. are in English Education and English, and my doctorate (candidate) is in Community Care and Counseling. I have two best-selling poetry collections: Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground. My poetry has won several awards from major Christian magazines and journals. I am writing a book on art, faith, and belonging with Baker Books, and I am also the founder, editor-in-chief, and publisher of TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. I am hopeful that these unique experiences will translate into your growth as a faithful creative and writer.

I hope my course deeply blesses this community. At the end of the day, I will always be a TEACHER first, and this is my way to keep teaching and giving back in a way that is accessible to all! I can’t thank you enough for being here! You have truly given my life such purpose and richness. If you take it, I would LOVE to hear from you! You can email me at thewayback2ourselves@gmail.com and chat in our My Way Back Community here on Substack. Lesson 2 will be published in a couple of weeks! Can’t wait to share it.

As always…

You belong here,

me

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Enjoy our KEYNOTE speakers: , author with ; , founder of The Breath and the Clay and podcast host of Makers and Mystics; and , musician and author of several books. and will be joining us as well with a breakout session on writing and publishing.

IT’S TIME TO GET ROOTED.

This summer, The Way Back to Ourselves community is hosting an opportunity that is deeply aligned with this invitation to build strong spiritual roots and grow rich, creative fruit that beautifies the Kingdom.

CULTIVATE’S powerful theme this year is ROOTED. This third annual creative retreat is taking place in Greenville, South Carolina, from Friday, June 19, to Sunday, June 21, at First Presbyterian Church. Our time together has been shaped with great care and intention around what it means to truly live, create, serve, and lead from a place that is grounded and nourished.

Over the course of the weekend, we’ll be joined by Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay, Amanda Held Opelt, musician and author, and Ben Palpant, author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea with Rabbit Room Press, along with a group of thoughtful teachers and guides within the greater TWBTO community, Solum Press, and Clayjar Review. There will be space for teaching, writing, prayer, community, and conversation, as well as room to slow down and listen more closely to what is unfolding in your own life and work.

Some special features INCLUDED in the cost of your ticket include:

• Makers’ Market on Friday and Saturday (an invitation to all registered attendees for only 20 FREE vendor spots will be sent on May 15, so please make sure you’re signed up before then to claim your spot!)

• Special accommodations, a “quiet room” for decompression space, and sensory bags for those with visible and invisible disabilities

• FREE community dinner around a shared table on Friday evening after official programming wraps

• Optional guided Saturday morning meditation in the nearby Falls Park

• FREE professional headshots that you can access after the retreat for your own use

I hope you’ll join me and our TWBTO team: , , , , , , , , and more, along with The Way Back Books authors: , , , , and .

Fewer than 25 seats are remaining due to space limitations, so if something in you is already leaning toward this, we encourage you to REGISTER HERE today.

We would be honored to share this space with you and come beside you as you answer God’s call to create and become more rooted in your life and community.

You belong here,

Kimberly and TWBTO Team

We are so grateful to the generosity of our partner, First Presbyterian Church, and their fine arts director (and our wonderful friend), , for helping to make this dream come true for so many.

On Being “Not Chosen”: Honest Thoughts About a Writer’s Biggest Fear

I’m not going to sugarcoat this or dress it up in fancy prose. In fact, dear readers, please see my newsletter like a raw journal entry, as I work out some things with God and my own apparently-tender-ego—which is, quite frankly, really disappointing to admit.

I thought I was further down the road than this. I’ve suffered enough—prolonged and acutely. I’ve been stripped down to the bare bones, and I know where my identity is, why I do this work called writing, and what my eternal reward is. It’s in my brain, it’s in my heart, but why isn’t it always in my body? Why can’t I wear his Robe of Love and Acceptance at all times—and especially after all he has done for me and will do again? His grace, good gifts, and mercy are all more than I deserve. So, I know it’s absurd that I feel so undone when I am not chosen.

Here are the facts:

I’m still sick on a daily basis with my chronic illness, and I am still spreading myself too thin. I still—so very desperately—want to do all the things healthy Kimberly did. I still want to keep up with all the healthy people and do what they are doing (crazy, I know). Before I share what I’m about to share, please know that I celebrate my friends’ lives, and I thank God for saving mine. This isn’t about jealousy or scarcity. My heart truly leaps to see them thriving in their vocations and passions, to see them win, to see them shine. They are my lights and a main source of inspiration and joy. But even so, I am still struggling with being ill and watching my life—in some very real ways—pass me by. The contrast feels sharp, like a jagged piece of broken glass sometimes. And sometimes, it’s too bitter to swallow.

So please have mercy on this fellow sinner, as I share my less-than-shiny parts. You know which ones: the parts we are all too good at hiding, the parts that risk judgment from others, the parts that evoke a deep blush of shame…

Over the past six months or so, I have been researching and writing my forthcoming book with Baker Books on art, faith, and belonging (an unbelievable blessing), and I have been giving it all I have in the margins of my otherwise full and complicated life. When I’m not writing my book, which I pray is a faithful offering to others, I am also doing all the other beautiful things God has allowed me to do (despite my physical limitations): mother, wife, learn, serve, create, and teach. I am also fighting for my health and healing, so there are procedures, appointments, blood draws, meds changes, ups and downs… you name it.

In all of this, I am also trying to write poetry and essays for journals and competitions like I used to—I am trying to keep up, and I feel like I am failing. This is where the pain point that sent me to the page today comes in…

Over the past few months, my writing has been rejected over and over and over again from places where it was once published frequently.

The first time you’re rejected, you shake it off. I’ve had plenty of “nos” before!

The second time, it starts to sting a little. Ouch! That hurt!

The third time, you start to get in your head about it. Really? What am I doing wrong?

The fourth time, shame and imposter syndrome nip at your heels. And then, it’s game on!

I teach writing for a living, and I have for over twenty years. I’m an editor, a professor, a publisher. Thousands of students and clients have trusted me with their writing over the years. The opportunities I’ve had in the creative, academic, and writing world, again, are more than I deserve—truly. I am completely aware of that…

And yet, these recent blows of rejection, after so many previous “yeses,” feel so personal, so fresh. It feels hard to take the hits and then show up to teach others with confidence—to show up and write my book with confidence. It feels hard to take the hits when I’m suffering from chronic illness (simply because chronic illness makes everything harder).

I feel silly and stupid about it. In the scheme of life, this is really small potatoes. I know it; you know it. There are far greater and more pressing issues unfolding in the world. But also, this ache feels all too real—as if we are all actually measured by our latest win, as if we are only as relevant as our most recent success. And the past performances and accomplishments? Well, they don’t matter anymore—at least not for our fragile self-esteem.

Man, what I am writing is hard to write, hard to read, hard to admit. I thought I was someone who had more self-control and wisdom when it came to these sorts of things. I really did.

So, I did what I know I am supposed to do—what I wanted to do. I brought it all to God. I said, “Father, this is so silly and stupid. I’m flushed with shame. The feeling of being not chosen feels like too much today. And all those words I wrote—good words, words from you and for you—aren’t good enough for print. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough… and I’m tired.”

Do you know what he said to me? And, of course, I’m paraphrasing:

Wow, okay, God.

I hear you loud and clear.

Maybe this candid moment moves you. Maybe it makes you feel seen. Maybe you can take some solace in it and find the will to keep creating in your own neck of the woods. I might be limping a bit today—physically and figuratively—but I will keep walking. I will keep writing and creating, regardless of who deems it good enough. Because, dear friends, we are enough simply because God called us his own. And if he’s called you to creative work, you must answer the call—not because of what you can get out of it, but because of what you can give—and not because it’s easy, but because it’s holy.

Can You Hear the Strange Music: How Suffering Refines the Artist’s Soul

by Kimberly Phinney

The truest art has kissed the hot flame of suffering, and its shape is cruciform.

Imagine this: An intense burning rages through your veins, and it cannot be contained. For some, this suffering is death, as you are forced to bid farewell to a loved one. The loss sears you from the inside out. Food loses its taste. The sun grows oppressive—and so do the nights. You wonder where God is in the valley.

For others, this anguish comes for the mind, assaulting your senses, soul, and humanity. Depression and anxiety are no longer clinical terms you find in a textbook. They are taskmasters and bedmates who’ve come to enchain you, making the simplest responsibilities impossible.

And if you’re like me, this agony is physical illness and pain—the kind that goes bone-deep, down into the marrow. It leaves you to wonder, in your darkest moments, would it be better to “shuffle off” to that “undiscovered country” Hamlet contemplated in his tormented soliloquy.

My hot flame of agony was of the literal kind, as sepsis raged through my body in 2021 from a failed surgery. Over several short months, the deck was stacked. And soon, the cards were dealt. One by one, the losses came: infertility, disability, isolation, joblessness, and more. Soon, I found myself wheelchair-bound and bed-bound, unable to bathe myself—let alone care for my daughter and be in the world.

At the time, someone much older and wiser than me said, “You must hold on; you’re about to produce the most important and true work of your life because of this suffering, and it will reach thousands in need.” Ashamedly, I wanted to scoff at his fairytale and retort with what I had already lamented to my husband on many occasions: “How can a depressed, bedridden, insomniac be or do anything in this world?” But instead, I smiled and thanked him through my tears.

I was asking the same eternal question first birthed when a particular man and woman were exiled from a garden many years ago: How can beauty come from these ashes?

Now, several years later, I have answers to that question—and not because I found them for myself or am some kind of saint (trust me; I’m not), but because God was in pursuit of me, and in my deepest grief, he gave me a song to sing.

***

I taught rhetoric for many years, and I’d often ask my students, as a matter of debate as we navigated dialectics, “Is truth created or revealed?” Oftentimes, they’d stare at me, dumbstruck, so I’d try again: “Do you believe man makes truth or finds it?” Slowly, their heads would nod in understanding, as they postulated in teams and brought forth their debates with the classical Aristotelian appeals: ethos, pathos, and logos. They’d volley ideas and suppositions back and forth until the reality of truth arose from their discourse. In the end, most students came to understand that truth has its own origin and nature, that it exists separate from our ability to recognize or accept it, and that its existence is evidence of God.

Since my days in the classroom, this debate has sat with me and transcended the Academy. In living, faith, and artmaking, I have learned through my experience that truth is revealed to us, but that we also play a part in our ability to “pay attention” with our “devotion,” as Mary Oliver penned. Conversely, “truth” created by man and devoid of the “Upper Story,” which Francis Schaeffer names as the divine narrative of God and the cosmos in Escape from Reason, is a monstrosity—and, at its worst, is propaganda, ever devolving downward in a “Lower Story.” This has been demonstrated repeatedly throughout history and the arts. Think of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. There are many things man can create separate from God, like a scorned and bloodlust wretch, but is his creation true Truth—with a capital “T”? And does it reflect the other transcendentals, which are beauty and goodness?

***

You may be wondering what suffering has to do with rhetoric and truth. Well, it has everything to do with them. To face agony and survive it with your faith intact is to know the Truth and to be rescued from the alternative. It is a purifying act—a distillation. Look to the gold and silver purification process as a metaphor. The refiner must hold them to the fire to rid them of their impurities. The longer the refinement, the purer they become.

Scripture offers a spiritual object lesson on precious metals. In Malachi 3:2-3, it is written, “For he is like a refiner’s fire... He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify…and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord.” In Isaiah 48:10, our afflictions are the refining process when the Lord declares, “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”

When you suffer intensely, all preconceived notions about yourself burn away. Your ego, vanity, and ambitions are eviscerated in sorrow’s bonfire. Life, as you know it, comes to a standstill while the world still goes on spinning, and you must face the silence, the empty day, the unmade beds, and your undone life. But, if you really pay attention in faithful devotion, you will hear a still small voice and the Strange Music of God, as G.K. Chesterton describes in his masterful lyrical poem:

The Strange Music

Other loves may sink and settle, other loves may loose and slack,
     But I wander like a minstrel with a harp upon his back,
     Though the harp be on my bosom, though I finger and I fret,
     Still, my hope is all before me: for I cannot play it yet.

    In your strings is hid a music that no hand hath e’er let fall,
     In your soul is sealed a pleasure that you have not known at all;
     Pleasure subtle as your spirit, strange and slender as your frame,
     Fiercer than the pain that folds you, softer than your sorrow’s name.

    Not as mine, my soul’s anointed, not as mine the rude and light
     Easy mirth of many faces, swaggering pride of song and fight;
     Something stranger, something sweeter, something waiting you afar,
     Secret as your stricken senses, magic as your sorrows are.

    But on this, God’s harp supernal, stretched but to be stricken once,
     Hoary time is a beginner, Life a bungler, Death a dunce.
     But I will not fear to match them—no, by God, I will not fear,
     I will learn you, I will play you and the stars stand still to hear.

This sacred intersection of suffering and the transcendentals reminds me of the first time I saw the Pietà, by Michelangelo, in my undergrad art history course. I still remember the warm, dark room and the hum of the overhead projector as if it were yesterday. Our professor waxed poetic about Renaissance art, as I fought off heavy lids. But when Mary and Christ flashed across the glowing screen, I became enrapt. Before me was the most tragic and holy moment in all of human history, made timeless in Michelangelo’s Carrara marble and skill: a mother in anguish, cradles her grown son; her penetrating gaze is pregnant with meaning, as Christ lies crucified. It is true beauty in cruciform, with Mary erect in contemplation as our Man of Sorrows extends across her lap.

Truth was made manifest in the chisel of a man who understood suffering, and his work has been an invitation to beauty and the Divine ever since. The suffering artist approaches the Creator and the created in the same way, and their agony reveals the coming spiritual ecstasy. This is the dichotomy I came to know for myself in the months that followed my near-death experience: from this fount of pain came the sublime, from the darkness came new light. Truth was revealed because I finally had the eyes to see and the ears to hear the Strange Music. Tears and prayers “cleansed the doors of my perception,” as William Blake wrote, and my work has been baptized in the holy water of grief ever since.

Oh, how kind the Refiner was! Oh, how rich his soil! And from the ashes came forth beauty, a ruddy rose dressed in thorns.

How can it be?

NEW OFFERINGS INCLUDED IN THE PRICE OF YOUR TICKET: Maker’s Market for attending authors and artists (20 spots @ first come, first served), a FREE community dinner Friday night, FREE professional author/artist headshots courtesy of Mariana Herrera Mosli and Kismis Ink Photography, prayer meditation at Falls Park with Matthew Nash, and a “quiet room” and accommodations for those with chronic illness and varying levels of ability.

My Way Back is a reader-supported publication from TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a paid subscriber for just $8.00 a month or gift My Way Back to someone you love who needs a little LIGHT. All paid subscribers get Kimberly Phinney’s two writing courses for FREE as a gift (see post archives) and get to attend our monthly POETRY UNIVERSITY, which is a Zoom course where nearly 100 students meet to learn about poetry, publishing, Substack, craft, and more (live and recorded).

You belong here!

BECOME A PAID MEMBER TODAY AND JOIN US AT POETRY UNIVERSITY THIS MONTH ON ZOOM FOR FREE. IT’LL BE A CREATIVE AND INSPIRATIONAL TIME! COME ONE, COME ALL!

Hello, beloveds.

Today, we have something to celebrate with you!

Deborah Rutherford and our imprint, The Way Back Books of www.TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, launched Deborah’s debut poetry collection this week, and it is already a #1 bestseller for NEW RELEASES in Christian Poetry. Prodigal Daughter: Poems of Light for the Lost Ones is our fourth published book in the past 12 months, following Rosa Lia Gilbert’s Under the Saman Tree, my second poetry collection, Exalted Ground, and the Spring Collection of The Way Back to Ourselves Literary Journal: In His Garden, all of which were bestsellers in multiple categories on Amazon. But most importantly, our beauty from ashes stories are resonating with our audience, one that is looking for gritty and authentic storytelling that recognizes the holy and hard parts of living as God’s children. We do not doubt that Deborah’s memoir in verse will do the same!

Please settle in for a sneak peek of this powerful poetry collection, which would make a great Mother’s Day gift—or even a gift for you or someone you love who has wondered if they are too far gone for God’s love. And to that concern, my dear friends, Prodigal Daughter will remind you that you can come home again.

You belong here,

Kimberly

PRODIGAL DAUGHTER IS HERE!

So, to celebrate Prodigal Daughter’s release this week, Deborah has graciously shared three poems from her collection below, along with some behind-the-scenes about her collection and story. Please enjoy these offerings and purchase her book for yourself and a loved one.

GET YOUR COPY NOW.

From Deborah:

I am astounded by God’s love for His beloved. This collection is for those of us who have wandered, feel lost, or love someone who has. It is a true story of transformation that explores the grit and glory of a lost child returning home to the Father.

Through five chapters of poetry, the journey moves from innocence to the pain of the wilderness, and then at last, to a return to God—where the soul learns to truly dance in His mercy, pursued by God’s radical love. My debut collection, Prodigal Daughter: Poems of Light for the Lost Ones, is that return from “counterfeit shiny things” to the Father’s love. Through these poems, I invite you to walk through the five movements of a life restored:

• Innocence | The grief endured when childhoods are stolen

• Strife | The search for belonging in all the wrong places

• Awakening | The God who woos His children home through His love song

• Restoration | The “fall to grace” into the arms of Love

• Dance | The divine realization that we have belonged every single day

Each of these poems captures my journey from childhood into adulthood. Writing them has helped me love who I was and who I am now in the arms of Jesus. Although these poems were written in the last two years, I used poetry that I had written as a young woman for emotional mining—a way to re-meet my younger self with the grace and mercy of Jesus pouring in.

The first poem I will share is from my Strife Chapter. While going through my journals, I found an entry from my college days at Loyola Marymount University. I just had to write a letter to that poor, sweet, broken girl to let her know one day she would have beauty for ashes.

So, without further ado, here is:

NEAR THE CHAPEL STEPS: EXCERPTS FROM A BROKEN-HEARTED GIRL’S JOURNAL

I. 

Then:

Near the chapel steps
on the campus bluff
where the breeze 
traipsed through the palms,
blue skies met the blue ocean.

I fell into the grass; 
my insides knotted,
as I clasped my pen
and hoped for rescue:

     “I call out to you, my person inside. 
     She’s frail; she’s lonely—she wants
     to be strong and live on the outside.
     But she’s afraid, so she hides behind a
     hard shell of evil.”

I scribbled through a heavy breath,
cheeks wet between classes:

     “Tell me the way, show me the way—
     The way to the discovery of my being.
     Take me in your arms, breathe,
     and exhale what you know of me.  
     Who I am, what I am, why I am—
     where I am.
     Don’t let me feel the hurt…”
 
II.

Now: 

I put the aged, worn notebook 
on a pile of stacked journals.

I see myself, 
the broken-hearted girl, 
near the chapel steps.
Setting my pen to paper,
I speak to her:

     Dear Brokenhearted Girl,

     I hear your cries 
     in these tear-stained journals,
     pages bruised
     with loneliness and hopelessness 
     from those who broke you.

     But your tears are sacred 
     and forever held, 
     even those that day 
     near the chapel steps.

     One day in the golden hour,
     you married the love of your life,
     and he carried you into the Maui waters 
     and then old age.

     Another day, 
     as the evening folded 
     far from home, 
     the Holy Spirit 
     healed what burned inside of you. 

     Oh, dear brokenhearted girl,
     near the chapel steps
     in endless pages
     of pleas and prayers,
     your beauty rises from the ashes
     with wounds that are
     now holy scars,
     like your Lord’s.   

III.

Healed:

My eyes well
as my tears gather and 
baptize the pages damp,
where I enclose my tender stories
in a pile of timeworn journals—
in the library of my life.

My second poem is from my Awakening chapter. What is so lovely about God is that He never stops pursuing us. Throughout my life, He was always encountering me in ways to soften my heart and open my eyes to Him. God was always wooing me to come home, and He does that for each one of us—speaking to us in ways that are unique and personally special.

As I look back now, I see His handprints all over my life. It was one big, orchestrated story to lead me home. He spoke to me through beautiful sunrises, fragrant blooms, animals, songs, poetry, people, and miracles. This poem celebrates those handprints.

SPRING TWILIGHT

The heavens declare the glory of God; 
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
―Psalm 19:1

A glow on the top crowns  
as dusk tucks in,
and in the evergreen,
the cardinals dwell
and chirp nocturnal lauding 
with silhouette limbs 
celestial in exaltation: 
this is love.

Oh, to be held as the sky, 
the bird’s nest, 
and the abodes with soft lights 
awaiting the sleeping stars 
to whom this night belongs,
would be divine!

And when my day worries me so, 
you lift my chin, my Lord— 
and away goes the clatter and clutter 
of voices and distress. 
Your song rises above 
the world’s symphony 
that fades away into the vesper, 
as I stop in wonder to worship 
and bask in your loving presence. 

As your Light pervades the umbra,
as the hidden becomes visible, 
I step into the ethereal where—
for a little while—
you show me Heaven on Earth. 

My final chapter in the book is Dancing, and it is where I am now. You will find a woman dancing with her King Jesus. She is not a perfect woman, but she is one restored to her identity as His beloved daughter. All that was stolen is redeemed. And though the Pilgrim’s Path is hard and full of trials, Jesus gives us strength and victory—it is a “happily ever after” kind of story. Redemption is beautiful!

The last poem I would like to share with you is Ode to My King, as I feel it expresses what keeps me grounded in this journey home.

ODE TO MY KING

Oh, my King,  
might I slow down
to wonder and adore you?
You gently slip peace
into my aching heart.

Oh, my King,
the world clamors 
for my attention.
But you see
and genuinely love me—
but I confess, I am prone to wander!
Can stopping 
to wonder help me here, my King?

Shall I not linger
a bit longer, my King?

Tarry in the quiet morning on my knees,
at your feet,
in your holy court
wrapped in your love,
like a baby bird under feathered shelter.

Shall I not drink your Word
from “in the beginning” to “it is finished,”
as Glory strides across the heavens?

Even while the coffee brews,
I seek you, 
as I gaze out the kitchen window  
embraced in your light— 
delighting in all your nuances,
watching your sunrise to see 
what color your sky will be today.
Oh, my King!
You delay my whirling mind and worrisome heart,
so I might wonder and adore you!

I slip into a holy peace
with a Love so astounding
in the stillness of the day. 

AN INVITATION & AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT

If you enjoyed this preview from Deborah Rutherford and The Way Back Books, we’d love for you to SHARE THIS POST, GIVE IT A HEART, and most kindly, BUY PRODIGAL DAUGHTER for yourself and a loved one.

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DEBORAH RUTHERFORD is a Christian wife, an award-winning poet, author, speaker, and an Emmy recipient for her makeup artistry in film and television. With Welsh, English, and Mexican roots, Deborah’s diverse heritage informs her perspective on belonging. Deborah’s pilgrimage from the shadows to a life restored in Christ serves as the foundation for her debut collection, Prodigal Daughter. Her work has been published in The Way Back to Ourselves, Vessels of Light, Calla Press, and Prosetrics. A co-author of the Unexpected Blessings series and founder of the Behold-Her Beauty podcast, Deborah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Agency. She writes to illuminate God’s faithfulness and assure every wandering soul that they are unconditionally loved. She lives in Georgia with her husband, Don, where she enjoys singing old hymns and walking under the pines. You can find Deborah’s writing at DeborahRutherford.com, DeborahRutherford.substack.com, and on Instagram @deborahrutherfordwrites.

THE CULTIVATE RETREAT IS COMING THIS SUMMER!

The 3rd annual Cultivate Retreat is coming June 19-21 to Greenville, SC, in historic downtown at First Presbyterian Church. Come see me, Amanda Held Opelt, Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics Podcast, of , Solum Literary Press, The Clayjar Review, Deidre Braley, Matthew Nash, , , Edward Holmes, Mariana Herrera Mosli, Rosa Lía Gilbert, Chelsea Fraser, , , , and so many more!

GET YOUR CULTIVATE TICKET NOW.

NEW OFFERINGS INCLUDED IN THE PRICE OF YOUR TICKET: Maker’s Market for attending authors and artists (20 spots @ first come, first served), a FREE community dinner Friday night, FREE professional author/artist headshots courtesy of and Kismis Ink Photography, prayer meditation at Falls Park with , and a “quiet room” and accommodations for those with chronic illness and varying levels of ability.

Expect an embodied experience based on belonging and faith like our previous retreats. You’ll hear from amazing keynote speakers, work on writing and publishing in workshops, enjoy community and praise and worship, be cared for with spiritual direction and guided prayer, take part in a “you choose” breakout session, and so much more, tucked away in the heart of historic downtown Greenville, South Carolina.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE! Seats are limited.

KEYNOTE SPEAKERS:

STEPHEN ROACH of Makers and Mystics and The Breath and the Clay

AMANDA HELD OPELT, musician and author of Holy Unhappiness and A Hole in the World

BEN PALPANT, author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea with Rabbit Room

BREAKOUT WORKSHOP:

Solum Literary Press and Clayjar Review will present on writing and publishing with and .

SPEAKERS AND BREAKOUT SESSIONS:

Deidre Braley, Kimberly Phinney, Matt Nash, Allana Walker, Edward Holmes, Sarah Steele, Heather Lobe Johnson, and Chelsea Fraser (with more to come)

Agenda: (We will communicate more details as they come available, but here is a rough agenda for now.)

June 19: Retreat attendees arrive. Doors open at 3:30 pm ET for registration and meet and greets. Retreat officially starts at 4:30, KEYNOTE SPEAKER #1: Amanda Held Opelt, then Community Dinner on the grounds, followed by MAKERS MARKET (set-up starts at 3:00 pm for those artists involved), snacks and drinks provided

June 20: Full day of events. KEYNOTE SPEAKER #2 and #3: Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay and Ben Palpant, author at Rabbit Room (An Axe for the Frozen Sea), with BREAKOUT SESSIONS and MAKERS MARKET, lunch and dinner on your own, snacks and drinks provided

June 21: You are invited to attend church at First Pres (or a church of your choice). We will begin roughly at 1:00 and finish by 6:00 pm ET. OPEN MIC, COMMUNITY EVENTS, etc., lunch and dinner on your own, snacks and drinks provided

TODAY’S POST AND PODCAST EPISODE ARE PACKED WITH GOODNESS. LISTEN, CONNECT, AND BE SURE TO SCROLL DOWN FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE CULTIVATE RETREAT AND OUR WRITING AND CREATIVE SERVICES.

The Way Back Podcast is brought to you by TheWayBack2Ourselves.com, with co-host and producer Edward Holmes and founder , an English professor, author, editor, and counselor, who is a doctoral candidate in Community Care and Counseling. Her poetry collections, Of Wings and Dirt and Exalted Ground, are available wherever books are sold. She is an award-winning poet and educator, and her book on art, faith, and belonging will debut with Baker Books in 2027.

Don’t miss news on the CULTIVATE RETREAT below!!!

Come join Kimberly as she sits down with , speaker, educator, and author of An Axe for the Frozen Sea, out with , as well as several other books. In this new episode, Ben and Kimberly dive into the deep waters of poetry, wonder, and the unexpected gifts of suffering. This episode is equal parts creative and inspirational, and you won’t want to miss this serendipitous meeting. If you love poetry, faith, and the artist’s life, then this podcast episode is for you--and so is Ben’s book, which you can pick up wherever books are sold.

GRAB YOUR TICKET NOW!

So, come, friend, and sit down with us. We think you’ll find some solace and inspiration here.

Ben speaks on:

-his book An Axe for the Frozen Sea

-authentic ways to navigate suffering and find unexpected gifts in the valley

-his own writing journey and what he learned from interviewing nearly 20 legendary living poets

-the power of beauty and wonder to redeem almost anything

-and so much more

Kimberly shares about:

-how they connected, in the most serendipitous way

-what Ben’s work and story mean to her

-the craft of poetry as she shares her own

-and so much more

This is an episode you won’t want to miss!

You can find Ben Palpant here:

Ben Palpant

(2) Instagram

You can buy his book here:

An Axe for the Frozen Sea: Conversations with Poets about What Matters – The Rabbit Room Store

To hear more and connect with our community, please visit www.TheWayBack2Ourselves.com. We offer editing, counseling, teaching, and publishing services, as well as cohorts and retreats.

If you’d like to get a feel for our journal as a writer or artist, or if you’d like to enjoy our creative offering as a reader, you can find our online journal HERE for FREE. And you can purchase our print journal HERE, which was a bestseller on Amazon this summer.

Check out our publishing imprint, THE WAY BACK BOOKS, HERE. We are home to , , , , , and more to come soon!

JOIN MY WAY BACK NOW. YOU BELONG HERE.

Enjoying our Substack? You can get full access to My Way Back if you subscribe below. Become a paid subscriber for just $8 a month and get Kimberly Phinney’s 4-week writing course, How to Grow Your Writing Life, for FREE, as well as her NEW generative course, The Creativity Library. You’ll also get a monthly seat to Poetry University on Zoom (live and recorded) for FREE, where Prof. Phinney teaches you about poetry, writing craft, publishing, Substack, authentic growth and readership, and more. Her courses and a year of Poetry University are a $700 value. Join the nearly 100 students today! You belong here!

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Please join us at Cultivate 26 in Greenville, SC, this summer! Less than 30 tickets left!

The 3rd annual Cultivate Retreat is coming June 19-21 to Greenville, SC, in historic downtown. Come see Amanda Held Opelt, Stephen Roach of The Breath and the Clay and Makers and Mystics Podcast, of Rabbit Room, Solum Literary Press, The Clayjar Review, Deidre Braley, Matthew Nash, The Village Poet, Edward Holmes, Mariana Herrera Mosli, Rosa Lía Gilbert, Chelsea Fraser, , , , me, and so many more!

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE!

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