He was presenting a distinction between two ways of inhabiting the world as humans.

In the technological attunement, humans inhabit the world as having utility. In other words, we see being human as a job, and we have ways of doing that job well or not so well. Almost as though we are computers, with upgrades to our system, new models, and untapped potential sitting in our technology.

This is, in fact, how so many of us live. It is also the exact attunement the “self-help” and “personal development” world exists in. The trouble is, implicit in the idea that you can be made better is the idea that you are not yet good enough.

When we live in this attunement, we are constantly seeking an upgrade — but the suffering in that is that we are never complete. When we approach life this way, we are forsaking our innate wholeness.

Artist: Reina Umeda

When babies are born, we don’t look at them and think, “Hmm, how could they be a better baby?” Instead, we stare at them in awe and wonder, thinking to ourselves, “Wow, how amazing that little being is, just by being.”

This is what the poetic attunement invites us into — the value we bring to the world simply by being. The beauty in all the ways each human embodies life, regardless of status or achievements.

It is important to name that we can still hold some things in the technological attunement — a skill, for example, like public speaking, a new language, or a sport. We can step into the technological attunement to get better at a skill; the suffering comes when we start thinking that being human is a skill.

But being human is a state, not a skill. And it would seem that we are each divinely entitled to our own expression of that state.

When I first learned this concept, I found myself quite emotional at how much poetic richness and beauty is lost to our interpretation of being human as a skill. When I think of that interpretation, I can feel how narrowed our view of our natural state has become.

I can especially feel it when I think of our children — the very children who remind us, on the day they are born, of what it is to be inherently whole. Our children are our greatest teachers in what it is to live in the poetic attunement. They stop and look at tiny bugs, just for the sake of looking at the tiny bug. They play with objects with total disregard for their actual use. They feel their feelings without worry of how they might be perceived.

When we hold a child in the technological attunement, we teach them that they are made whole by their inputs and outputs.

What poetic attunement really shifts us toward is the present. It takes us from effort and action into receiving and being, from measuring to appreciating, from judging to connecting.

I know this might be hard to grasp at first. It was for me, too. But I invite you to simply experiment: notice when you are in a technological attunement to life, and what it feels like to step out of that and into a poetic attunement.

Here is a little Google/AI cheat sheet, so you can have a more concrete sense of each:

Technological Attunement:

• Transactional: Focuses on inputs and outputs (”I do X, I expect Y”).

• Instrumental: Views the self, other people, and nature as machines or resources to manage and improve.

• Goal: Efficiency, results, and solving deficiencies.

Poetic Attunement:

• Relational: Deepens direct experience and presence with self and others.

• Intrinsic: Engages with truth, beauty, and feeling simply for their own sake — akin to play.

• Goal: Self-unfoldment based on the premise that nothing fundamental is missing.

Notice what it feels like to be in the technological attunement vs the poetic attunement in these contexts:

1. Dinner with friends/partner

2. A child’s birthday party

3. Your workout class/routine

4. Getting dressed in the morning

5. Going for a walk

The framework

First let me introduce the Framework. This Framework was created by Thirdspace - the coaching program that I was fortunate enough to be trained through. Their view is that all conversation fall into one of these three types of conversations.

• Conversation for Relationship

  • This conversation is about getting to know the person you are stepping into a relationship with: Who are they? What is going on for them right now? What are they holding?

• Conversation for Possibility

  • Once each person has revealed more about who they are in this moment, then a conversation for possibility can begin. From a place of connectedness, this is where two people can freely share ideas, explore hypotheticals, and get a sense for how the other is feeling about them.

• Conversation for Action

  • Finally, this is the conversation that if the previous two have been held, should feel ease-ful and clear. This is a conversation about choosing a way forward, making requests, and establishing agreements.

As you can see in the visual below, these three conversations are dependent on the other. To actually have a successful conversation for action, you must first have a conversation for relationship and for possibility - no step can be bypassed. And if carried out intentionally, the conversation for action should come quite ease-fully.

Why it is especially helpful for parents

I notice that as parents, we can so easily live in ‘conversations for action’ - what’s for dinner? Who is taking this kid to this place? What are our summer plans? What do we want to do this weekend? Etc.

We all have probably seen the content online about the phase of marriage or co-parenting, when we find ourselves relating to one another more like roommates than romantic partners. And this is exactly what it is like to only have ‘conversations for action’.

What we can so easily leave out (I’m including myself in this!) is the conversation for relationship. And I know what some of you might be thinking… ‘How do we have a conversation for relationship, when we have been in a relationship for over a decade?’. And yes, this is the practice!

Recently I was reminded by the founder of Thirdspace and this model, Justin Wise, about something a wonderful coach, Wendy Palmer, speaks about. She says something to the effect of:

Our biggest mistake in our relationships is assuming the person we said goodbye to in the morning is the same person we say hello to in the evenings.

I love what that perspective invites. It speaks to a truth of our human existence - we are always changing. And as I contemplate that reality, I notice what a gift that is to our relationships. It means that we have the possibility to be in constant curiosity about who the other person is, even when we have known them for decades. I share more below on how to practice this.

Bringing it into your relationships

As with any framework that I share here, this isn’t something to perfect or get right. I find for myself and my clients, the most helpful part of this framework is to simply have the awareness of the types of conversations you are having.

You might notice a sense of stuckness in that ‘roommate relationship’ or a sense of friction when you are being asked to collaborate on possibility without really connecting first.

I also invite you to sense into this framework for your children. They too can find themselves in constant ‘Conversations for Action’. If you take a moment to put yourself in a child’s shoes and open your ears to what they might hear, you can hear it too…

“Put your shoes on”, “It’s time to go to the birthday party”, “You need to get in the bathtub”, etc.

All important parts of a day to move through, but also only a small part of a relationship. This is an invitation to get curious about your kids, to be in that conversation for relationship with them in the moments in between all of the action.

Ways to practice

My first invitation of a practice is to notice your own tendency to want to jump into possibility or action - with your child or with your partner. For example, let’s say one of them had a hard day, instead of jumping into a conversation around the types of action we could take around it, I invite you to use questions like these below. It’s worth noting that these same questions apply when someone has had a really good day too!

• What was that like for you?

• How did you feel in that moment?

• What’s the hardest part of this for you?

• What surprised you about that experience?

• Can you say more about that?

• What do you wish I understood about this?

Sometimes it is hard to even open the door into the conversation for relationship. Here are some ways to ask questions that invite connection and relationship:

• How was your day today?

• What has work been like for you recently?

• What has life been like for you recently?

• What’s been taking up space in your mind lately?

• Is there something you’ve been wanting me to know?

A practice I often do with my couple clients is this:

1. Set your phone on do not disturb and then set a timer on your phone for 6 mintues.

2. Decide who goes first. The first person speaks for 6 minutes, uninterrupted. This sounds incredibly hard, but you will be surprised! I usually invite clients to answer the question: “What has life been like for you recently?”

3. The person who is listening is in the practice of deep listening. The practice is to maintain eye contact, listen with openness and also notice what is happening in your body as you listen to them.

4. When the 6 minutes is up, the person listening can respond with an appreciation, a question, or in kind with a brief share of a similar experience they had. Those responses can sound like:

   1. I really appreciate how you…

   2. I was wondering how it feels to share that with me?

   3. What was going on for you in that moment?

   4. When you were talking about xxxx, I was reminded of my own experience with…

5. Then you switch and the next person speaks and the first person listens.

This practice is a beautiful way to get to know someone you know. Keep it mind for your next date night or quiet morning with your partner.

Thank you for being here and reading my work. If you are new here, I am Lindsay Green an integral development coach who works with people who are currently in the middle of parenthood.

I have a podcast Made Possible by Parenthood, with a few new episodes out with some incredible guests!

And if you want to know more about how I support parents, you can always connect with me here for a complimentary intro conversation.

While a part of me is slightly dubious as to who would be interested in this… I also have a hunch that many of you, like me, are feeling some fatigue around the current parenting advice out there, and are seeking something more meaningful and sustainable.

Which is exactly what this more philosophical lens on life has afforded me as a parent.

Whatever I share with you will be tried and tested from my own life. I am constantly implementing concepts, contemplations, philosophies, modalities, and techniques from coaching into motherhood.

So, dear reader, please let me know one way or another how this lands for you! I’d love any feedback on how to make this series better, or if you have specific challenges you’d want me to speak to. Let’s dive in!

What I’m up to when I support a client

When I work with a client, I’m looking for the developmental area where I can support that person, so they can move through a specific challenge that’s causing them suffering or stuckness.

For example, let’s say someone came to me because they were really struggling with mornings — getting themselves and their kids out the door. Instead of helping them create the perfect morning routine, I get curious about what’s going on for them internally in the morning. I want to know more about how they move through the world at other times of day. I want to know more about who they are in their relationships, and how they care for themselves and others.

This helps me understand what the deeper developmental area might be, and what competency we can work on cultivating together. What might emerge is a fear of setting boundaries, or asking for what they need. There might be a self-worth deficit that has them over-pleasing. Or maybe there’s a belief they’re holding tightly that’s impeding their natural flow and rhythm in the morning.

The key aspect of this approach is that the competency will show up in many contexts throughout life — not only in their morning routine while they have young kids.

So how does this apply to parenting?

This is the concept I often think about when it comes to parenting my 3-year-old. I ask myself: what is the repeatable developmental area present here? Let’s use an example to make it clearer.

Take going to the doctor’s office to get a shot. Most of us have been there — the fear in their eyes, the questions, the anticipation, the screams once the needle is in their little arm. It’s not comfortable for anyone! And we’re often shown many different strategies to ease that discomfort — coping mechanisms and distractions to get us to the dried tears and lollipop waiting on the other side.

While we can still implement those techniques — lollipops have gotten myself and my son through more than I could have ever imagined! — there’s something else here we can get curious about in this experience.

The truth is, there will be many more scenarios like “getting a shot at the doctor” throughout our children’s lives. This might look like:

• Having a tough but important conversation

• Trying something completely new

• Going to the dentist

• Exercising our bodies

• Public speaking or performing

• Studying for a hard exam

Just like the doctor’s office, these are all things that require short-term discomfort for a long-term benefit. That seems like a worthwhile competency to develop in a human!

We can see now that this doctor’s office visit is just a small part of a larger relationship your child is building with discomfort — and we can start to see our role as the facilitator of that relationship.

From there, we can start to “coach-parent” — asking ourselves questions like:

• What relationship am I facilitating between my child and inevitable discomfort or pain?

• What language am I using to facilitate that relationship?

• What can I notice he needs during that discomfort? How can my presence support him?

• What language can I offer to help him process the experience afterward?

• What am I curious about that I might be able to ask him?

As a parent, we can start to think of the various contexts we navigate with our children as practice grounds for deeper competencies. And with this awareness, we’re no longer just asking “how do we get through this doctor’s appointment?” — we’re also asking, “what competency are we cultivating at this doctor’s appointment?”

And bear in mind: the first “rule” of coaching is that you meet the client where they are — so please keep your child’s developmental age in mind. The answers to the questions above will look very different at 6 years old than they do at 18 months, and that’s to be expected!

Why not just the lollipops?

This has helped me so much because if I were only ever asking “how do I get through this doctor’s appointment?”, it would feel exhausting. Ask that question enough times, and you can find yourself just getting through life — trust me, I’ve been there too!

But what emerges when we zoom out a bit feels like what parenting really is: the guiding of a child through life and into adulthood. That feels more purpose-filled, more gratifying. It feels like one small step on a long journey of a life lived alongside one another.

Let me know!

Please let me know if you found this helpful. There are many other concepts and frameworks I find myself using — with clients, on myself, with my husband, and as a mother. I’d love to share more of them with you.

Until next time,
with love, Lindsay

Read that post here

One aspect of a summertime shift, among many, is the delicate dance of screen time and how we negotiate our boundaries. Before we get into the actual boundaries we might set, I want to introduce a concept that I don’t see many people bringing to the conversation of boundaries.

And that is that healthy boundaries are dynamic. They meet the need of the moment, and they have the flexibility to be adjusted when the needs of the situation change.

As an example, think about bedtime. When our kids are little they have a certain bedtime, but as they get older, their bedtime changes — and one day they will be in charge of their own bedtime.

As an integral coach, when I think about things like screens, bedtime, food, etc., instead of looking for the right “answer” or the “perfect boundary,” I get curious about the relationship we are cultivating with that thing.

I think you could even define being a parent as being a facilitator of our child’s relationship with life. So when something like screen time over the summer comes up, I start there — in the awareness of the relationship we are facilitating between them, summer, and their screens.

And summertime is a great place to put this curiosity and dynamic boundaries into practice because it is a time when contexts and needs shift. So let’s explore how we can respond to it and set our boundaries accordingly.

Summer brings a new set of needs and boundaries

First of all, I take a moment myself to relax into summer and address any fears and beliefs I hold around letting go, shifting routines, and relaxing aspects of our usual rhythms. I ask myself:

• What am I afraid will happen if we slow down or shift rhythms?

• Which of those fears are valid and important to hold? And which ones feel yet to be confirmed?

• What do I need to support myself and my nervous system this summer?

• How am I going to get that support?

Taking stock and getting realistic

Next, I like to take stock and get realistic. I find that expectations create our shame traps — when we hold unrealistic expectations of ourselves, our kids, or a period of time like summer, we often set ourselves up to feel like we didn’t achieve a goal… without asking, was the goal ever realistic in the first place?

You can pick any length of time — a week, a few weeks, or a month. I invite you to take the pulse of what that time period actually holds:

• What does engagement look like for my kids during this time?

• What’s already planned?

• When will they be outside?

• When do I need them entertained so I can do something important?

These are the needs and the contexts that we will create our boundaries from. This is the real shape of the week or month — not an ideal one.

Not all screen time is created equal

Once I know the needs and the shape of the time period ahead of me, I like to get specific on what screen time means — because “screen time” doesn’t mean just one thing. This is true for us adults as well, and I’m sure we can all think of examples of our more “trashy” shows and the more educational and stimulating ones!

This summer, for example, I canceled our YouTube Premium subscription and bought a PBS Kids subscription (only $4.99/month!). I decided to make a concerted effort to shift my son away from Spiderman and fill screen time with more things like Weather Hunters and Wild Kratts. For me, it means that even if he has more screen time, I’m holding a boundary around what he is watching. I like to create that boundary with these questions:

• What are they watching — educational or not, calm or hyper-stimulating, short snippets or a longer story?

• Am I watching with them? Is this downtime we share, or are they in it alone?

• Where, and on what device — TV, iPad, or phone, in a common area or alone in a room?

The answers paint very different pictures. Short-form video alone in a bedroom is a completely different experience from a movie with the family — the same way scrolling in bed is different from watching a film with someone you love.

Screen time battles are bound to happen

Next, I get realistic about my expectations of my child. The truth is, we all struggle to hold screen-time limits for a simple reason: we’re dealing with something genuinely addictive, and we know it from our own experience as adults.

So let’s shift our expectations and actually EXPECT the meltdown will come when it’s time to turn it off. This affords us some preparation and capacity to ride the wave through it, as uncomfortable as that is. The upset isn’t a sign we’re doing something wrong — it’s a nervous system letting go of something it was hooked into. But it is important to keep an eye on our own steadiness — this is what helps them land back into a more settled place.

Before the “turn off” moment comes, I invite you to pause and notice: what feels hard for me about setting this boundary? What do I need to do before I enforce it? Often what makes it hard isn’t the child’s reaction at all — it’s our own discomfort with their disappointment. I invite you to take a few grounding breaths and settle your own nervous system before you upset theirs.

When things get out of control — because they will

I’ve been there many times: the trips, the long days of travel, the “anything goes, we just have to get through this” stretches. That’s life! It’s not a question of how to never lose the rhythm — it’s trusting yourself and your capacity to navigate your way back to a more centered place.

When you’re ready to return, name it for yourself plainly: this is a behavior change, for all of us, and behavior change takes repetition and patience. Be intentional about what you’re in the middle of, and go gently — with them, and with yourself.

I find the concept of titration helpful here — we don’t have to go cold turkey on day one back from our trip. Rather, I shift back to a more educational show, I offer a podcast, I plan a couple of other fun things to shift the focus away from a time that would usually involve a screen. And most importantly, I continue to remember that we are in a shift — it’s okay that it feels messy and hard. I remind myself that we are trending back to a more centered place.

Screen-Free Things That Actually Work

To close this out, here are the screen-free alternatives that are tried, tested, and genuinely loved in my house — and might earn a place in yours, too.

• A Yoto Player. Screen-free audio your child controls themselves — stories, music, and podcasts on physical cards, with no screen to fall into. One of my favorite swaps for quiet time. Tip: start with things your child is already familiar with — they have everything from Disney to Paw Patrol.

• Kids’ podcasts. Perfect for the car, rest time, or that depleted late-afternoon stretch. Again, it’s helpful to pick stories or podcasts with characters they might already know. (A starter list by age is below.)

• A projector. When you do want a movie, a projector turns it into an event — a shared, longer-form family experience rather than a solo scroll. It changes the very kind of screen time it is. Also, you can put a projector away easily, so it’s out of sight and out of mind after it’s used.

Tip: if you’re setting up a listening activity, make it a little more special. Find a spot where your kid feels extra cozy — a blanket fort, your bed, or outside under a tree — and pair it with an established snack time, so they have something to engage with as they settle into the story.

Kids’ podcasts to try

• Silly Stories for Kids - fun and imaginative story telling

• Peppa Stories - familiar but also calming

• Magic Woods - calming and educational

• Imagine This - imaginative and educational

• Curious Kids Every Day - informative and calming

• Yoto 5-minute stories - calming, fun stories on multiple topics

If you’d like to go deeper, this is exactly the kind of work I do with parents — I’d love to be a resource as the summer and year unfolds. You can put some time in my calendar here to connect and explore a coaching container.

with love,

Lindsay

Roughly 3:15 to 4:45 PM. An hour and a half.

This is the slice of time I’m home with my sweet, almost-four-year-old, before my husband returns from the office. It’s also when my workday has wrapped, my pregnant body is spent, and all I crave reclining on my couch. This is the truth that feels so at odds with everything else.

Because this same hour and a half means everything to my son.

I started noticing it when, after school, he’d decline every exciting park or activity I suggested. “No, I just want to go home.”

While it confused me, it more terrified me… because at home means I have to be the primary entertainer, and I’m so tired. Yet, I headed him and we went home.

And then I saw it.

It’s as though his entire day integrates in this space. He steps into his world, and he comes alive. His imagination ignites. His body explores. It’s like watching a movie where he is the multi-dimensional protagonist, navigating internal landscapes and external spaces all at once.

And yes, at five months pregnant, playing pretend jetpacks, bouncing on beds, outsmarting imaginary monsters, and ducking laser beams is… a lot. As I write that sentence I have to chuckle because it truly is so hard. And yet, it feels so important for him.

The Travel Metaphor

This observation led me to wonder: what would his day be like without this crucial period? What is this time affording him, and by extension, our whole family organism?

I started thinking about travel – specifically, visiting a culture vastly different from your own. Imagine navigating a place where the language, customs, traffic laws, and even the uses for everyday objects are completely new to you. You spend the whole day learning, adapting, deciphering and often getting it wrong.

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Now, imagine that around 3 PM, you could press a button and instantly be transported home. Back to your space, where the language is familiar, everything is in its place, and the rules of engagement are second nature.

This, I suspect, is what school can be like for a four-year-old. All day, they’re immersed in a new cultural landscape, learning boundaries, social rules, and new concepts. It’s the very purpose of school, to introduce them to their orientation as a human in a social setting. But after hours of this intense learning, there must be an exhaustion. A deep longing for nervous system reset. A need to simply know things, to feel completely safe in the most familiar environment.

His World, His Rules

That hour and a half? It’s his instant portal home. It’s where he gets to fully inhabit his body and his nervous system, feeling safe within his own world. And here’s the interesting part: it totally is his world, the one he creates, and I get invited to it. He sets the rules. He defines where we’re headed, what we’re doing, what’s okay and what’s not. He gets to be in a place of complete agency, safety, and regulation.

Suddenly, the hardest part of my day feels profoundly important. It’s a period of time that I can see contributes to calmer bedtimes, more connection at dinner, and an overall easier evening routine.

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This beautiful process is one we, as parents, could learn a lot from. How do *we* reset our nervous systems? How do we build in time and space where we feel completely safe and regulated? What does that look like for you?

The Practice

This summer I invite you to notice when your child is in an integrating practice - when is their nervous system feeling regulate? When do you notice them fully in their body? When do they feel safe enough to fully come alive?

And now for you - how do you answer those same questions for yourself? And how do you carve our time for your own integration, your own ‘going back home’, and time to fully feel alive in your body.

Thank you for being here. I truly appreciate your reading anything I have to say! If you want to engage with me and anything else I am talking about, you can:

Listen to the latest season of Made Possible by Parenthood - I highly recommend our episode with renowned pediatrician Varisa Perlman about raising a transgender child.

If the idea of having a coach who supports you through parenthood sounds interesting to you, you can also book an complimentary 30-minute call with me where you can learn more and ask any questions you might have!

With love,

Lindsay

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I often find myself a little in awe — and, honestly, even envious — of the women a half generation ahead of me. The ones whose children have already moved through high school and out into the world. They’ve lived out the very fears I feel rising in me as I watch my own child inch toward all of it. They’ve been there. They’ve lived to tell the tale. And they’ve been deepened by it.

Dr. Perlman is one of those women. In this conversation, she shares the story of raising a transgender child — of parenting through her child’s gender-identity journey. And what struck me most wasn’t only the story itself, but how she carries it: rooted in the mud right alongside her child, and somehow standing so grounded, so present — to what her child was moving through, and to who her child actually is.

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We talk a lot about presence as putting our phones down. And it is that. But this conversation cracked something open in me: there’s a deeper presence beneath the device-free kind. It’s presence to who your child actually is. To what’s really in front of you.

Because here’s what I left the conversation holding. We carry so many quiet expectations about our children — who we want them to be, who we think they should be, which version of them feels safe out in the world and which doesn’t. And something gets lost in the relationship when we hold our child inside a fixed picture of them.

Our children didn’t come here to be someone for us. They came here to be themselves.

There is so much richness, so much love, so much life waiting in the relationship we form when we receive our children purely — as they grow, as they challenge us, as they take their own shape in the world, even when that shape rubs right up against the edges of ours.

Dr. Perlman is a beautiful reminder of that for those of us a little earlier in the walk.

I hope you’ll give this one a listen — it’s one of my favorite conversations we’ve had. Here is a little snippet.

🎧 Listen to the episode here →

And if someone comes to mind who might find comfort or company in a mother’s story of raising a transgender child, please pass it along to them.

So grateful you’re here. I’ll be back next week.

With love,

Lindsay

For us, newer parents, we are probably bamboozled each year by the sudden change in schedule and the large gaps in childcare we are scrambling to fill in. We can find ourselves in a pattern of resistance, holding a lot of tension and counting down the days until school. And while those struggles are real, there is more to the story that we can write for ourselves.

This year, especially, the arrival of summer might also feel like a greater shift. You can consult your favorite astrologers for all the details on the energetic weather, but if this is something you feel, then it is something to work WITH, not against. And it can apply to the whole family.

So how can we get intentional about this summer? How can we get it working for us? And how can we create meaningful shifts even amidst the chaos of it?

We can simply ask ourselves: “What is this summer for?”

That answer will be different for everyone — depending on what we have planned or not planned, the phase of family we’re in, and simply who we all are as humans. So let me start there. There is no “right answer” to this question — it’s simply here to evoke some language around what you feel your relationship to this summer to be.

Here is a short framework you can use to get clear on what this summer is for, for you.

Starting with yourself

I usually start with myself. How am I approaching this time period? What can I feel in my body as I ponder the season ahead? Without any judgment, what comes up? Here are some questions I like to use:

• In what way could this season serve me?

• When I sense into this stretch of time, what do I find myself wanting to do?

• How do I want to feel this summer?

Sensing into your family

Here is where the magic can really happen. If you parent with a partner, I invite you to do this along with them.

I like to think of each family as its own organism, complete with its own nervous system, shape, color, and vibration. Each family is a whole made up of parts. AND the health of the whole informs the parts.

So where do we start? If you have a partner, check in with them and start simple:

• Is there an emotion you want to feel more of this summer?

• Are there any new things you want to try this summer?

• Is there anything you want to do, just the two of you, this summer?

Those are simple questions, but they tend to open up more.

Now, your children

• What need does my child have right now — and how might this summer meet it?

• What would my child be really proud of learning to do this summer?

• What experience would my child delight in this summer?

And finally, the whole

• What do I want our time together to feel like this summer?

• What rituals might we create and adopt this summer?

• What does our family need right now that this summer could help us meet?

The most important part!

After you have reflected on the above, take the time to answer this question. It holds all of the power:

At the end of the summer, if I realize some of these intentions, what meaningful shift could I observe in myself and in my family?

And a little PS from me - I found this poem and loved it. I will be holding it with me this summer:

I’m excited to be publishing here again with some fresh inspiration. I look forward to sending more letters to you all this summer.

With love,

Lindsay

Inspired by Oliver Burkeman's 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, this is a conversation that invites parents to confront the finite, precious nature of time — and to ask themselves honestly what they're actually saying yes and no to each day.

Together they explore:

• How becoming a parent cracked open a whole new relationship with time for both Lindsay and Charlie

• The suffering that comes from letting time have us — rather than the other way around

• The identity trap of busyness and productivity, and how it quietly shapes our days

• What we're really saying no to every time we say yes — and vice versa

• The difference between time being scarce and the things we actually value being scarce

• How spaciousness, presence and slowing down can literally change our experience of time

• Finding the natural rhythm of your unique family rather than forcing a borrowed one

"You can do it like it's really hard, or you can do it like it's a dance."

Diana shares her journey as a parent carer to her youngest daughter, who has cerebral palsy — from the early days of noticing something was different, through the spiral of guilt that followed her daughter's diagnosis, and into the hard-won grace and joy that defines her family's life today.

This is a conversation about letting go of the milestone chart, protecting your own capacity to show up, and finding the beauty in a journey that doesn't follow anyone else's map.

Together they explore:

• What it really means to be a parent carer — and why that label carries important weight

• The non-linear nature of this journey and why the roller coaster never fully stops

• How Diana worked through profound guilt around her daughter's diagnosis and found her way to self-compassion

• The power of separating fact from opinion when guilt threatens to consume us

• Why protecting your own mental and emotional space is an act of love for your child

• The art of seeing your child for who they are — beyond the forms, checkboxes and milestone charts

• What grace really looks like in practice, day after day

"Give yourself grace. You're doing the best that you can. And that's okay."

Dr. P shares her family's story with extraordinary openness and grace: from her own journey of finding her true self through medical school, to supporting her husband's leap from medicine to law, to walking alongside her cshild Izzy through gender dysphoria, depression, suicidality, and ultimately into joy and self-expression.

At the heart of this conversation is a simple but powerful idea: that the only way through life's storms is to become the eye of them.

Together they explore:

• The concept of "correcting the dissonance" — and how Dr. P has returned to this thread again and again throughout her life

• What it really means to be present with your child, beyond just putting your phone down

• How Dr. P supported her husband's career transition — and what that taught her about holding space for the people we love

• The journey of raising a transgender child through gender dysphoria and into their truest self

• Why fear and guilt are poison for parents — and how to begin releasing them

• The incredible role COVID played in opening a door for Izzy's transition

• Why children are born the way they are to heal the family

"You cannot go through the chaos of life not being able to be centered. You must be the eye of the storm."

Through honest reflection and personal story, they unpack why perfectionism so often feels slippery — showing up in one area of life just as we think we've dealt with it in another — and why the goal was never to get rid of it at all.

This is a conversation about befriending the parts of ourselves that aren't going anywhere, and discovering what becomes possible when we stop fighting them.

Together, Lindsay and Charlie explore:

• Why perfectionism is a forever known part of us — and why that's actually okay

• How perfectionism can serve us as a resource rather than drain us as a burden

• The whack-a-mole nature of perfectionism in parenthood — and where it tends to hide

• The physical and relational experience of being in perfectionism

• The moth and the flame — why we keep flying toward the light even when we know it might burn us

• What devotion offers as an alternative orientation to our effort and care

• How to channel deep caring without being beholden to outcome

"It's not about getting rid of perfectionism. It's about knowing what to do with it when it shows up."

• Story Time: I lost. He won. What I could see about myself in the throws of a power struggle.

• Offer That’s Live: Holiday Blueprint — Three 1:1 sessions with me to help you understand your unique window of tolerance, what your emotions are telling you, and what you specifically need to unlock joy, presence, and truly memorable moments this holiday season.

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The most recent one was the concept of “don’t ask your kids how their day was when you pick them up from school.”

While I understand the sentiment, the blanket statement had me wondering: why? Why wouldn’t a child want to answer that question?

Of course, there are many reasons. But I started to wonder—is it that they aren’t able to answer, or is it that they’re worried about the reaction they might receive?

With my 3-year-old, his words are completely honest. When I ask him a question, his answer is exactly how he feels. I’m so grateful for this time and in my new-found awareness of his total honesty—it dawned on me that he currently has no sense of shame.

I started to wonder, what allows him to speak so honestly? And why, one da…

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One of the most surprising things about parenting a child who is learning to speak is realizing just how much they speak like us.

Because my husband is English, I often hear his British-isms coming out of our 3-year-old’s mouth—even though he spends most of his day at school in Miami. My favorite is when he asks me something, I say, “Hmm… I don’t know,” and he replies, “No, nor me.” It gets me every time.

Moments like this remind me how much the language in our home shapes what our children notice, feel, and name. The words we give them don’t just describe their world—they create the containers for their experiences.

When I became a coach, I learned the power of

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It has been a while. It seems I surrendered so fully to summer this year that I didn’t even have time to write about surrendering to it…

And now, here we are in this “new year” energy. With my three-year-old starting school, I’m feeling the rhythm of these cycles in a new way—both the school-year cycle and the deeper energetic new year that traditions like Judaism and Kabbalah celebrate at this time.

Recently, as I was scrolling on Instagram, a post from The Kabbalah Centre UK caught my eye. It described the essence of Rosh Hashanah: that we are not asked to judge ourselves for our faults, but rather to ask, “How much can I transform?” and “How much of my potential transformation was not realized?”

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Through personal stories, reflection, and a surprising perspective from the Dalai Lama, they unpack:

• Why guilt and parenthood have become inseparable in modern culture.

• The difference between guilt, remorse, and regret—and why that distinction matters.

• How guilt can act as a distraction from deeper emotions like uncertainty and pain.

• The surprising ways guilt keeps us stuck and how to shift our relationship with it.

• Practical ways to question, reframe, and move through guilt with more intention and self-compassion.

Is guilt really an unavoidable part of parenting? Or can it be an invitation to greater self-awareness, connection, and choice? Tune in for a conversation that just might shift your perspective on the stories we tell ourselves about guilt.

👉 Follow us on Instagram @MadePossibleByParenthood for more conversations and updates!

Insightful Quotes from the Episode:

📌 “Guilt can feel like this huge, puffed-up balloon that takes up all the space. But when you pop it, you realize there’s room for kindness, for connection, for actually seeing what your child needs.”

📌 “We think we have to carry guilt because it makes us a ‘real parent.’ But what if it’s just a broad brushstroke we’ve accepted without questioning?”

📌 “There’s a wisdom in feeling the ouch, the pain, the remorse—because that’s where real change happens. Guilt alone just keeps us stuck.”

📌 “We keep trying to solve parenting like a math equation, as if we can balance all the choices perfectly to eliminate guilt. But life isn’t an equation—it’s an ocean, and we have to learn which waves to ride.”

📌 “What if we questioned our guilt before accepting it? Is this really mine to hold? Is there something else underneath it that I actually need to pay attention to?”

We dive into:

• The evolution from survival-mode parenting to building deep connections.

• How stepping into a ready-made family shaped Bobby’s approach to leadership and care.

• The tension between structure and softness—especially for high-achievers.

• The power of embracing our own unique parenting path, free from comparison.

• Why missteps, mistakes, and even a little mischief are essential to the journey.

Bobby’s wisdom is a powerful reminder that there is no one “right way” to do this—only our way. Join us for an inspiring conversation about love in its most real, raw, and resilient form.

A couple of nights ago, I could feel my system—nervous and otherwise—gripped by fear. My thoughts drifted toward extreme scenarios. I noticed myself feeling small in a world that suddenly seemed so big and beyond my control.

All of this was new for me.

When I read Olivia’s newsletter, it dawned on me: this feels like the first big shift in the world since I became a parent.

If you took a snapshot of my life pre-parenthood, you’d see me actively seeking out big life shifts. At 23, I moved to Shanghai, relishing the rapid growth, mind-bending realities, and sheer bigness of it all.

I chose to live in China largely because it felt like the future—and at the time, that didn’t scare me one bit.

But lo…

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In this deeply moving conversation, we’re joined byNeena Atkinson, an integral development coach and mentor, to explore the intersection of trauma, parenthood, and the ever-evolving journey of letting go. Neena shares her personal story of loss, the ways trauma lives in the body, and how she’s learned to hold fear while allowing her children the freedom to fully live.

Together, we unpack:

✨ The tension between protecting our children and letting them become in the world

✨ Why healing isn’t about “getting over” trauma, but integrating it

✨ How to co-create a sense of safetywith our children, rather than for them

✨ The ways fear can shrink our world—and how we choose something bigger

We also close with a breathtaking poem,Hello, Fear by Rosemary Wahtola Trommer, from her bookAll the Honey.You can find it here.

Other references from this episode:

📖The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

📖The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (Excerpt on Children)

Join us for a conversation filled with wisdom, raw honesty, and an invitation to hold both fear and love as we guide our children—and ourselves—into the world.

These songs and these performances simply wouldn’t exist without each person involved stepping into their gifts, their alignment, and through fears - like that they might never even be at the Grammys.

I sat there watching Doechii’s performance, unusually present to the fact that no one else in the entire world could have created that performance. It was so purely her—her alignment, her embodiment, and her lived experience. And in that, it was as if the message was being sent to all of us: “Do the thing that wouldn’t exist in the world if you weren’t here.”

I think we talk about this idea in many different ways—your passion, your purpose, your zone of genius—but so often, these things seem to focus on external elements. Almost as though we take the options that feel available to us and try to fit them onto and into our…

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