The pain we carry,
a pieced together memory,
manufactured recall,
recurring suffering.
An existence because we choose to hold it.

It shaped us.

We held it.

We hold it now.

We set aside hurt, reaching the current light.
We know the ache remains.

Our current, unable to imagine a future without the weight.

We bravely reach for peace, anyway.

Time.

Unknown.

Exposure.

Light.

Ways to be new,
show optional forms,
for when pain returns.

Souls sit heavy knowing.

When we face our greatest fears,
only then,
can we change the shape of being alone,
in peace,
a new being.

I’ve imagined the end of my pain,
wondering if it would ever depart.

Overtaken in every fiber of my being.

Until immersion in fear itself.
The fear, concretely solidified.
Losing every narrative.
My truth.

The fall and shattering.

At war with myself.

The hardest break.

Many pieces for peace.

Undone.

A new look.

All my truths given a new way.

Why must we destruct for peace? 
But we must.  
On the inside. 
Or the outside implodes.

You may feel it in the slightest breeze.  Like a distant feather, here and out of sight, in the fear itself.

A heavy wish you’ve waited for, with all your might, suddenly kissing you like a gentle good night.

To this day, she assembles her meals as if she’s grazing a charcuterie board. I’ll hear her suggest “cheese slices and crackers” regularly for dinner. I’m also not surprised when my brother and I get the latest weather report for our area, as if she’s our local meteorologist.

She rescues as many seedlings as possible from her city gardening job. She walks everywhere. I truly am surprised she even owns a car, although she loves a good road trip. She uses phrases like “go with the flow,” “keep it simple, stupid,” and “Jiminy crickets,” probably because cricket is in the phrase.

She's been sending my brother and I, lately, "sending you both love and peace in heart, mind, and soul." She mutters when you see, even the slightest inkling of inspiration on her facial expression, to use a swear word. One time, my husband heard her test the waters with the F bomb. It was a day to mark in the calendar.

There's no need for staying on trend in her style. Jumpers and outdoor workwear will do. Descriptors like "Free Bird," "Peace & Love," and "Energizer Bunny" are certainly ways to label my mom, Yvonne. And yet, labels are the furthest from my mom's mind. Maybe not politically or spiritually, but in life ethic and her daily, personal practices.

If you haven’t caught my drift, she strays away from should in her vocabulary. Yet descriptors that are also relevant to my mom are Reliable, Consistent, and Present.

We are all many things. Many hypocritical things.

I've been practicing minimizing or editing out the word "should" in my daily vocabulary. In fact, in this frustration, I caught myself thinking, "We should never should."

This is where my mom comes in.

It's important to note that, even though she may be a free bird, she also is a Midwestern gal, born and raised. My father in law once said, "you can take the girl out of the midwest, but you can't take the midwestern out of the girl." This resonates with me today. Being late is essentially a crime, if you're engaging with anyone in the midwest. Those basic cultural values of midwesterners just can't be taken out of our blood. Overall, it typically implies a reliable work ethic and finishing all your food on the plate, sort of meat and potatoes, hardy persona. My brother just mentioned last week he was spending time with mom and she emphasized, "when you make a commitment, you follow through." She's certainly a reliable, midwestern girl. With its pros and cons, I don't think she's ever called in for a sick day of work. My brother carries that same follow-through in his own quiet way, steady in the parts of his life nobody's watching, which tells me it's less a "mom thing" and more a family thing.

But what pairs with this consistent, reliable, follow through is her free bird spirit, making her a juxtaposing unique mom.

I once learned, later in life, after I received a highly regarded college swimming scholarship and expressed to my mom that competitively swimming, in my heart, was over, that my dad deeply struggled behind the scenes. Apparently, they disagreed greatly, my dad arguing, "she should take this,". My mom stood firm to listen to me. Looking back, I understand my dad’s “should” for what it actually was: a father watching his kid consider walking away from something he’d seen her build for years, scared for her, in the only language he had for it. When I heard this story, 15 years after the fact, it confirmed something I've always felt around my mom.

When you tell her you need something or you seek an experience, she sees that as “only you know what you need.” She won't question it. Not even an ounce. She gives the choice-maker the benefit of the doubt, that they indeed know what is best for themself. No one else can make that decision for them.

I love this about my mom, Yvonne.

Now, every mom knows they aren't perfect. And every mom, I've been told, knows they've messed up in a million ways. As an adult-to-adult relationship with my mom, I sure have shared my constructive feedback. She'll be the first to tell you she didn't always meet every emotional need when I was younger, and it takes its own kind of guts to say that out loud to your kids. And as she's been going through her own version of a re-birth, I can tell, she's been listening extra hard.

She used to be busy, being that free range, reliable rockstar in her career. Maybe just a little too preoccupied with the objective, fact checking of life, she ran a tight ship, in our home, and kept us afloat. I think, in the survivor mindset, she pushed through. I’m grateful for that push of reliability. She never missed a swim meet or choir concert.

But if there's one extremely positive characteristic that I am so proud to have learned from my mom is that it's to listen to what someone else is telling you they are experiencing. To believe them. And to understand that only they know what to do.

Don't get me wrong, as a young child-mother relationship, there were certainly moments where I wished my mom had maybe been a little more emotionally present to tell me what I could do, what my options were. That's where our dad showed up. He's the one who taught me what my options even were in the first place (a true creative), so I could get to a place where I didn't need anyone should-ing me at all. But, I gotta tell you, as an adult-to-adult, this mom of mine has something key to life.

You just have to come to her first with your vision. And when you name what you need, when you’re able to do that for yourself, or even just throw your ideas at the wall, she doesn’t direct you. She supports what you choose, no questions asked. She never shoulds’ anyone else. I really don’t think “should” exists in her vocabulary.

My husband has been doing a lot of thinking lately on what makes a good person.

Not great.

Just good.

A good, more than well intentioned, but authentically present and actively listening human being. It seems I’ve looped in my whole family, in some way, to this should-ing argument in my mind.

It got me thinking, maybe minimizing the amount of should-ing (a.k.a. judging) others in our mind is one of the important ingredients to the overall recipe of what bakes a good versus bad person. It inspires me to conclude that avoiding the ego’s reflex to prescribe advice and “should” your fellow human being, is one really good place to start.

And yet, I don’t deny that I’ve found my mind thinking it, too. And herein lies the core reason for writing to you today.

I believe it is a human experience to find ourselves believing that the world, a situation, or a person, won’t change.

Yet it’s that place of belief, I hypothesize, where we gradually and eventually find that our minds are showing us, in fact, that we are admitting our own blocker to accepting change.

Important Sidebar: Allow me to get specific about what I am not saying. There’s a difference between a stuck perception and an accurate read. Perhaps someone has shown you, repeatedly, that they will hurt you through abuse, addiction, betrayal, or any pattern where the harm keeps repeating.

Despite your hope, that’s not you being closed to change. That’s you, seeing clearly.

Believing “they won’t change,” in that context, isn’t a mirror. It’s data doing exactly what data is for: protecting you.

What I am talking about is something more common. It’s the friction of ordinary relationships. Say, for example, the parent who disappoints you in familiar ways, the partner who forgets the thing you asked for again, or the friend whose flakiness still stings, even though you know it’s coming. It’s disappointment, not danger. This is the terrain where “they’ll never change” quietly becomes a story you tell to protect your ego, rather than yourself. It’s the version where we can re-train our minds to learn that it’s not danger. That’s the version I’m asking you to look at today.

In sum, what I am arguing is that there’s a balance in choice between our neurological network of data in our minds (and continuing to weigh that information) and the other half of any relationship with a person, place, or experience.

So what is that other half? The other half of any relationship [and its pairing information of history (a.k.a. data)] is perception. And our perception? We always get to choose in every. single. case. It’s that perception — you know, that stubborn one that we choose to dig our heels into? — that I’m advocating is our biggest mirror for our own necessary change. Whenever you’re stubborn about a belief, especially about someone else, that’s the clearest indicator that shows us we are not growing or seeing possibility. That stuck perception? That’s the one that becomes a reflection of where we are, with our relationship with change, in our own life.

Let’s dig in. If you believe something so adamantly about a person, you likely go into that relationship, each engagement, with a body language and tone that reflects the data of your relationship…and the perception you’re choosing to take, in that moment. Now, you can’t change your history or how someone else behaves; you can’t change the data.

But. What you believe about the person or relationship says more about you than the other person. That belief, that perception, is the other half.

Separate from data (synonymous with experience) you can choose to believe, each time, that it’s going to be different. Or choose to see people as new people, every day, as a practice. If you choose not to, the consequence is being stuck in your own stagnancy and experience in the relationship. You’re choosing to rely more heavily on the data (albeit still important) than choosing to give the person the benefit of the doubt and a new day… and attempting to see it through a new lens.

Let’s get a little more specific. Whenever you’re annoyed with something, maybe you’re hurt, maybe it’s painful. Perhaps you’ve even noticed that your body trembles or sweats before you know you’re going to have somewhat of a repeatable and predictable experience. Here’s what I hope to gift you. Although you can’t change the way someone else shows up, you do have the other half of the equation of a relationship available. You can meet yourself in how you choose to perceive. You get to choose who you want to be, thereby also changing your own perception of the relationship. And it’s this choice in perception (synonymous with an action, a response) that can also inform us of how we’ve soured or remain inspired with where we are in our relationship to change. You want to change a relationship that’s stuck? Try changing your perception of it, and how you show up to it.

I write to you with such vigor because I’ve had my fair share of thinking, “this’ll never change”, in recent years. And I’ve had to “put in the work” (eye roll) to change.

I became exhausted and dug into a belief on a formative relationship in my life. Reflecting on a disappointing outcome, I placed me high on my horse, in frustration. My stuckness in a belief that it’ll never change became the showstopper to inform me of where I was stuck…and where I had opportunity to change my perception. I learned, if I exhausted myself enough on thinking it’ll never change, that said situation will, after all, never change. I was choosing to remain frustrated in my head, causing my own harm to myself in the relationship.

I believe we all know this place. “It is the way it is”. A family member you just have to roll with. A neighbor who’s always gonna be like that.

That repeated belief only hinders our own growth. Although your experience will always be your own, alone in those feelings, we all still have freedom to choose from a plethora of perceptions to change the way we believe the relationship can still morph. That’s power.

Perception is your own power, your own choice. Your key to change and growth.

Sure, perhaps some circumstances aren’t ideal or we can wish the person or experience went a different way. For me, I was grieving and sad that someone didn’t understand or care for me. And that’s ok. But what began to show is my own disappointment for how I, myself, was continuing to show up amongst the situation and relationship. Sure, I did a poor job of responding, in said particular experience, in my life of the past. Lost in the stubborn deflection of “this’ll never change”, I really was just saying that about myself and predicting the future of the relationship. I was continuing to choose to see the saddest perception of the whole experience, in the past and as the relationship proceeded.

There goes the well-known phrase that goes something like, “You cannot control what happens around you, only your own actions.” I learned that, “this’ll never change” became my action taken, my perception chosen, toward not taking responsibility for my own actions and perceptions into the future of the relationship. I decided it’s time to put an end to that!

You might be wondering why I'm about to tell you a story about a certification experience, when this whole piece opened on change, via the perception of our external observations. Here's the thread. The quiet kind of stuck belief isn't reserved just for how we see other people. It shows up just as easily pointed inward, as a belief about ourselves, that we won't change; that we'll always need the thing that once validated us, or that we're doomed to repeat an old pattern even in a life we built specifically to escape it. So before I ask you to look at your beliefs about someone else, let me show you what it looked like when I had to catch mine, about myself.

Here’s the moment I caught myself, in detail.

When I lost my job, I reached for a new realm to foster love and foundation for myself, and anyone who wanted to come along, via tidying. If you weren’t already with me from the start and, perhaps, just joiningtoday, The Tidy Tornado began as a way for me to connect with a community of folks who were re-gaining their bearings after hardship. I became completely enthralled by Marie Kondo and the KonMari Method. I wrote the 16-week tidying journey(s) of checklists, created weekly blogs, and built out my service offerings. It all started with that layoff from my “dream job” in 2023, and a plethora of cascading hardships that followed.

As I grew in the joy with sharing these tools with you, and with those in major change, I found myself seeking certification from an accredited institution. But when I realized I was seeking the thing that broke me in the first place — corporate validation, via the tool that freed me, I sobbed. More specifically, I found myself, sub-consciously, craving to return to a realm of eye candy. It was that desire for “on-the-paper” resume validation, like what my “dream job” had given me, that was asking for attention again. How did I undergo such a deeply different experience, separate from the corporate world, tidying my home and sharing with my friends, only to realize I was just to re-create it?!

It was in that moment that I knew if I truly wanted change for myself, I must let go of my KonMari stamp of approval “need” and morph Tidy By Tor into its true, own way of sharing with you.

Letting go of approval without certification isn’t easy for me. Yet, it’s change. It’s as uncomfortable as a Picasso painting makes me feel, that inspires me to enter a new realm of perception, with myself. And so launched the next era of this blog.

The Tidy Tornado was born in the realm of reaching for the basics. If you were with me, from the start, this physical work is never beneath me. I will always want to engage with my fellow tidy-ers out there. Creating your conscious space, in whatever kind of home you live in, is the basic foundation of how this began. That simplicity is represented in the circle in the Tidy By Tor logo.

Today? We enter the realm of reflection, as is represented by the swirl. Turning over this new leaf, I intend to bring a more reflective style of observation. Each Tuesday, for one year, you’ll receive a note on some of these more thoughts of depth that have blossomed from creating a conscious, and simple, backbone to life. As is our topic of change today, so too, we change into the realm of reflection.

My final pitch to you is this. Let’s change our relationship with change. The next time you catch yourself believing any form of, “this’ll never change”, that just might be you not willing to change your perception. And seeing a difficult situation from a new, chosen perception, just might bring you a new way to tackle the problem at hand.

So do the world and, most of all, yourself a huge growth. Take a look within. Maybe it’s you that refuses to accept your own, beautiful and wild change ahead.

Not because I ran out of words, but because I didn’t want to rush the ending of something that has taken two full years of noticing, undoing, and rebuilding. And just to get to this post? It took me all day, today, pacing and wandering the house, splurging on too many snacks completely procrastinating. I think I’m in mourning that this journey is over, with you.

Two separate tidying marathons, the first from 2024 - 2025 and the second from 2025 - 2026. Each sixteen weeks long. Thirty two weeks of showing up to do the physical and mental work, circling the same questions from new angles, and learning how to stay in the feels when it would’ve been easier to tidy fast and move on.

The hesitation to finally posting today, this pause, was me sitting on the fact that it’s all coming to a close.

And sitting on gratitude.

Because every single one of my readers is a gift. You read. You practiced. You sent messages. You tried things that weren’t tidy at first. You trusted me with your spaces and, quietly, with your inner weather, too. That’s not small. That’s intimate. And I don’t take it lightly.

Wrapping this up feels a bit like standing in a room after the furniture’s been moved for the last time. The echo and air is different. You know something has shifted, even if you can’t name it yet.

That’s why the final activity in this workbook isn’t about sorting or labeling or refining systems.

It’s about seeing.

The Polaroid exercise is meant to be a real treat. A soft click of the camera. An invitation to witness what’s changed without fixing a thing.

Take photos of your space as it is now. Not styled. Not optimized. Just honest.

And if you can, invite someone else into it. A partner. A friend. Someone who’s been near enough to notice the difference. Ask them to take one or two of the photos of the place where they’ve felt the biggest shift. The corner that breathes now. The surface that holds less weight. The room that feels calmer when you walk in.

Let yourself see your work through their eyes, too.

Sometimes the transformation lands more clearly when reflected back to us. Sometimes it’s easier to believe change is real when someone else names it first.

This matters because the work we’ve been doing was never just about stuff.

It started somewhere tender.

If you’ve read with me, since the beginning intro, you know it took moving through a season where my sense of identity felt shaken, noticing places where support didn’t quite line up, and realizing that I didn’t yet know how to ask for what I needed. During that time, I experienced my first panic and anxiety attack. My heart felt deeply exposed. And I did that part, to myself. I was in the middle of rebuilding, with only scaffolding to stand in for something solid. Even small hits, anything that really challenged where I was, could feel like an attack; like my whole house was collapsing. Low self-esteem. Unsteady. Unpredictable. I’ve put in the work to forgive others and myself. Now that we’ve unburdened ourselves physically, we keep unburdening ourselves mentally. You likely joined because, perhaps, you were in a similar space.

I also came to see that I didn’t yet know how to say no. I didn’t know how to insert myself into decisions that affected me. Or maybe I had forgotten? I didn’t know how to name my experience out loud. Perhaps most importantly, I didn’t know how to say, “that made me feel,” and continue on to honestly express that the way I was being supported, though offered with love, was still hurting me.

Along the way, I became more aware of how judgments and projections can surface, in various conversations, even in caring relationships. How people who love each other can hold very different perceptions of the same moments. Perceptions and our own adult misgivings being the topic of my next Substack [stay tuned].

That awareness, especially after the fact, was tender and, at times, very painful.

In fact, it was the most painful last 2 years I’ve yet had in my life.

I needed to sit with all of this pain in tidying before I could step back for a while. Not to sever connection with anyone, but to better understand myself and learn how to rebuild with the ability to let my heart shine, without any care for others’ judgement or opinion. I took a step away from a lot of relationships, and I believe it was not just better for me, but everyone involved.

It was a lot to hold. But I needed to be alone, with an audience that was in similar space. Is “alone with an audience” a thing? If it is, we made it. I needed to be with an audience that knew how to support, so uniquely, to this space. And ya’ll were it.

I hope, together, we reconnected with how to apply our feelings effectively again, through tidying.

Tidying became the language I could speak when words were still forming. Clearing space was how I practiced discernment. Choosing what stayed was how I learned what mattered. Letting things go was rehearsal for saying no. Creating order was a way to calm a nervous system that had been on high alert.

This work was scaffolding, too. And eventually, something sturdier began to take shape.

Which brings us here.

At the end of the Workbook. At the edge of something unnamed. At the quiet moment where you realize you’re not the same person who started.

This Week’s Plan —> This Life’s Plan

Perhaps a few affirmations that may speak to you, too.

“We chart our courses, open to its changing winds.”
“My purpose is finding the small sparks of joy.” - in true KonMari fashion
“I notice when something no longer fits and trust myself to respond.”
“I let my spaces reflect who I am becoming, not who I was trying to be.”
“I allow pauses to be productive.”
“I remember that clarity doesn’t rush.”

It’s been a pleasure. Truly. And an honor to walk this stretch with you.

We’re now heading into the uncharted territories, as hinted back in the intro of The Tidy Tornado, Part 3 of this trek: Community in Yourself (a.k.a. Self-Actualization?)

This trek ahead is less instruction. More integration. Fewer answers. Better questions.

For now, take the photos. Let yourself feel proud. Let the ending be a gentle ending.

Part 3 will begin after Valentine’s Day, on Tuesday, February 17th. My fresh intent, in our next phase, is to bring you more thoughtful ways to stay connected with this simplicity in full color. Perhaps delivering more airy but thoughtful perceptions to consider, as you go about continuing to create your conscious space.

I’m eager to continue together, with you.

Thank you for being here.

This final stretch is not about finishing everything neatly. It’s about setting ourselves up with care for what comes next. One way to do that is to prepare some storage, near your “Ancestry Altar” or “Top Shelf” bookshelf. I decided to store mine beneath my bookshelf, as per recommended the Semikolon brand, last week.

Why Sentimental Moves Differently

At this stage, many of us begin to notice something important. Sentimental items don’t respond to momentum the way other categories do. They respond to time and meaning.

So instead of forcing closure, this week is about preparation.

Preparation for the next year.
Preparation for fostering the next you.
Preparation for the story we’re intentionally leaving behind.

Protect What Cannot Be Replaced

As you continue identifying extra personal belongings, I recommend creating a protected home for the items that truly cannot be replaced. Documents. Heirloom photos. Letters. A small number of objects that would be devastating to lose in a fire, flood, or emergency.

A fireproof and waterproof safe can quietly become one of the most grounding tools in this entire process. This is not about fear. It’s about care. Choosing what deserves protection often brings surprising clarity about what matters most.

Choosing what to protect often reveals what matters most.

As these decisions take shape, you may notice a deeper question surfacing.

What story am I leaving behind?

Thinking Forward, Not Morbidly

The Sentimental category has a way of gently guiding us toward responsibility, not only for our belongings, but for the people who may one day inherit them. This is why, this year, I chose to begin filling out an end of life planning book. Not urgently. Not morbidly. Simply with intention.

Tidying has always been about reducing burden. This is that same philosophy extended forward in time.

There’s something deeply kind about leaving clarity instead of confusion.

Tidying is not only about memory. It’s about living.

It’s also important not to let Sentimental work become overly heavy. This stage is about honoring living memory, not just the past.

That is where joy comes back in.

Make Room for Living Memory

An instant print camera is something you may want to consider as we prepare to log our 16 weeks of results next week, on the last page of our booklet!

As we prepare for next week’s wrap up, think of this moment as a bridge. You’re not behind. You’re not unfinished. You are transitioning from active decluttering into creating and maintaining your conscious space.

This is what a mature relationship with Sentimental items can look like.

This Week’s Plan

• Identify truly irreplaceable items and, perhaps, think about purchasing a fireproof, waterproof safe for them.

• Choose one small window of time this month to continue Sentimental sorting, rather than trying to complete it all at once, and add it to your calendar.

• Begin reflecting on the story your belongings tell, and whether there is anything worth documenting or clarifying for others in an end of life planning book. No pressure to finish. Just begin.

• Release the expectation that Sentimental must be finished this week. Focus on systems that support you long term.

Next week, we will zoom out together and close this series with perspective, a few insta print photos, and inspiration for what’s to come ahead, on The Tidy Tornado.

A few helpful phrases from Right To Be free trainings:

For Vulnerable Populations

• If out and about, minding your business - “Am I being detained?” If law enforcement says no you can verbally announce that you are free to go and dismiss yourself.

• If being asked questions - “I do not wish to speak with you or answer your questions based on my 5th Amendment rights.”

• If intruding your space - “I do not give you permission to search any of my belongings based on my 4th amendment rights.”

• In general - “I choose to exercise my constitutional rights.”

• If approaching your home - ICE may not enter your home, private place of work, or your phone without a valid judicial warrant. See examples here.

For Allies

• Your right to record officers is generally protected under the 1st amendment. Do so at a distance that isn’t obstructing. Video coverage may help families identify their loved ones later.

• Document - start carrying a small notebook and pen. If/when you see an ICE raid, put the vulnerable person first. Ask the detainee if there’s a phone number you can call to notify family. Share information of the time, date, and place.

• Remind them, as they are being detained, they have a right to remain silent, to a lawyer, to refuse to sign anything, and right to a phone call.

• Badge Info - Ask ICE for badge info and take note of license plates.

As we near the end of our tidying marathon, perhaps a time that’s calling for different actions of simplicity, thank goodness the Sentimental category has arrived. It is, without question, the most challenging. So, as we enter this last but not least (physical work) category, I’ll share an intention for my week, with you, right off the bat. It’s about the family pictures. They seem to be the hardest part.

Here it is: I will not look through all the photos. I know. Bold move. But, here’s the matter of fact. Just a few, key mementos serve my joy. A black and white, gloss 8x10 of my dad racing sailboats when he was in college, my favorite around the campfire with him as a kid, and a picture of my brother holding me as a baby. I simply sifted for the few that mattered most and chose not to worry about the rest. This felt unsettling, but skipping the full sorting of photos is actually the most liberating choice.

It should also be noted that my dad wanted to adopt the family photos, which gave me an unexpected and welcome out. Now, I normally wouldn’t recommend handing off the family photos after you scrounge for your favorites, but photos are an exception. There is always someone in the family that wants every…last…one. I’d ensure you ask your parents and siblings before discarding of the bulk of photos.

So before you get started gathering your Sentimental items from the basement and beyond on your tidying canvas, it may be helpful to take a breather and read some Marie Kondo quotes. Here’s a few good ones.

“We should be choosing what to keep, not what to get rid of.”

“Your parents home is not a haven for mementos.”

“Truly precious memories will never vanish even if you discard the objects associated with them.”

“The space in which we live should be the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.”

“It is not our memories but the person we have become because of those past experiences that we should treasure. This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us.”

Enough inspiration for us?!

As you can imply, I did finish the photos, slowly through the weeks since New Years. After my few favorites, I kept only about 50 photos that truly meant something to me, placed them in my safe, and let go of thousands of others.

As we get started together, I will join you in the rest of this emotionally heavy category. Here are a few photos of my gathering for the week.

Key takeaway from gathering: If we find ourselves stuck in the Sentimental category this coming week, we need to remind ourselves we are not failing. We may simply be reaching the part of the process that asks for more emotional readiness, not more effort.

I want to remind you that in my first year of tidying (2024), I also set this 16-week goal and did not finish on time, for this exact reason. The Sentimental category ran long, and that was not a mistake.

Give yourself grace, this week, if Sentimental feels heavy or resistant.

This category often benefits from being gathered, acknowledged, and then set aside as a slower, ongoing project throughout the year.

For example, I know my partner will take a really long time with his Pokémon card collection. It’s deeply sentimental and genuinely valuable. It cannot and should not be rushed through in a single week.

So what can be done this week? Simply assess. Identify the Sentimental items you’re ready to let go of, the ones finding new homes (see Ancestry Altar below), and the ones that clearly need more time. You’ll end up with less stuff, more meaning.

Prepare A “Top Shelf”

So let’s tackle that pile of items above, and give them a new home!

One of my clearest discoveries, last year, came from my beloved tea set, a gift from from my grandma Judy. I felt an immediate, unwavering sense of joy when I touched it. I couldn’t even bring myself to gift it to my niece, even though that was my original plan. A few of those tea cups live on the top shelf, what I now call my Ancestry Altar.

Alongside candles and amongst some of the few family photos, I give smaller Sentimental items a place of reverence, rather than storage, breathing new life into them. As I sift through my boxes this week, I will probably place a few more items on my purple shelf (my updated Ancestry Altar shelf for 2025).

The Bigger Realization

The Sentimental category is a marathon, not a sprint. Although we talk about this process as a 16 week timeline, expect to have many items from this category spill over into the rest of the year.

Sound disheartening? Yes. But, these are the items that have made us who we are today. Now that you have papers, books, and houseware systems, including some storage in place, you can delegate your Sentimental items, throughout the year, to the fresh place they can live.

This Week’s Plan

• Create a small “Ancestry Altar” or memory display on the top of a bookshelf.

• Schedule future weekends for Sentimental sorting, rather than forcing momentum to finish. It’s not necessarily feasible.

• Consider these awesome, Semikolon storage boxes. Come in great colors, easy to assemble, magnetic and made from paper.

Hey fellow tidy-ers! Happy New Year, and happy year of the Fire Horse, coming in February.

You might be wondering where I disappeared to, and that’s completely welcome. My original intent, alongside you, was to finish this Tidy Marathon, or rather Tidy Festival 🎉, by the first week of January. Once the holidays and family time crept around the corner, it felt like my foundations of life were on the back burner, while relationships moved to the front of the palette. So, I became an unreliable deliverer to you. And you know what, I’m letting myself go on that one. I hope you will, too.

After all, we tidy so we can place the more complex things in life (such as relationships, life’s chaos, and its pairing ebbs and flows) on the front burner so we can be present. So that’s what I did. I put the Tidy Tornado to rest, just for the month. We return now, together, in January 2026.

Closure on the prep for the Sentimental Category

Picking up where we left off, I ultimately decided I would not invest in any system that requires storage for Sentimental items. As mentioned previously, I went with iMemories in 2024. The result was that our family multimedia was professionally scanned and uploaded to their app. Cool. I could now access all our family videos and photos with the click of a widget.

Here’s the catch. In the end, all the original copies were sent back to me.

More stuff.

My original intent was to get rid of photos, via digitizing. The result was simply more. Now I had digital copies, USBs, and all the originals back.

It’s safe to say I missed the target for simplicity. So this year, I will not be purchasing any Sentimental organizing system, including old fashioned storage boxes. Just the hard work ahead of only keeping the few, that’s right just a handful, of photos that actually deliver joy.

As you think ahead to next week, I encourage you to prepare mentally, to do the same.

A New Year, A Custom You.

I find it fitting (even though, not originally the plan) that we enter the Custom category as we embrace a new year. This category, straight up, makes me smile. Why? Because this is the spot in the Tidying Festival where you really see yourself reflected back in what you own.

It’s time to gather your hobby equipment and anything essential to how you spend your downtime doing the things you love. Maybe this is a drum set, your crocheting supplies, art media, or a plethora of gaming equipment.

For me, this category is especially heavy on outdoor equipment. Think skis, sleeping bags, backpacks, and the like.

Side Note: It should be noted that before I began Tidy By Tor Festival Marathon (whatever we’re calling it these days) round two in 2025, I already had the privilege of knowing that our Custom Category would, again, be the biggest. Since I had done this round in 2024, I knew what was coming down the pipe. To prepare, I actually purchased way ahead of time. I’m talkin’ September, 5 metal lockers to assemble. If you think this might be applicable to your instruments, or whatever your Custom category is, I highly recommend Mustard Made.

Here’s a good reminder that Marie Kondo emphasizes that storage is typically a crutch we reach for when we lack the energy to assess whether an item is truly bringing value to our life. More specifically,

“Those storage ‘solutions’ are really just prisons within which to bury possessions that spark no joy.”

In the same breath, tidying with Tidy By Tor is a process where we seek to minimize our impact and the places across which we are spread in the world. We aim to avoid owning storage units, which are poor for both long term budgets and the psyche, limit basement pile ups, and really strive to have one home where your life is in front of your eyes.

It is a balance. And you would not be here tidying with me if you didn’t already know that I invited you along for this hypocritical, juxtaposition heavy ride we call life, or rather, simplifying.

Why the Lockers Work

Let me explain why these lockers were a good solution. When we tidy, we lessen consumption both in what we already have and in how we consume going forward. The way I’ve seen this play out in my partner’s life and mine over the past two years is this. No, we are not minimalists. Yes, we have a full home of color and items. But no, we do not have anything in our basement.

In fact, everything we own that sparks joy lives in the spaces we walk through every day. Our living room is home to our five lockers, which will now hold, after this week’s work, all the things we love most in our Custom Category. We chose 5 categories: Camp Core, Core+, Snow, Water, and Terrestrial.

We walk past our lockers, full of our favorite ways of moving about the world, right after we make our first cup of coffee in the morning, out of the 1-2 mugs we own. Then, we eat a bowl of joy sparking oatmeal from just the 2 bowls and spoons we’ve kept. Pure bliss. Simplicity.

So yes, Marie Kondo, we broke your rules a bit. We do have some good storage solutions. But at Tidy By Tor, they do not hide out of plain sight or live in another location with another monthly payment. They’re part of our daily routines, even if we simply walk by them. Our basement is now as empty as can be.

In fact, the work at Tidy By Tor over the past two years has also inspired us to go full fledged on living simpler, long term. Not by seeking a classic home filled with remodels and repairs, but rather a yurt!

You can see how the Custom category can really veer into the things you love most and the values you try to live by. These lockers, holding the gear that brings us the most joy in adventure, will be central furniture pieces in the yurt. More to come on that later.

This Week’s Plan

1. Begin Your Custom Category
   Gather everything that falls into your Custom category. This includes hobbies, gear, tools, and items that support how you spend your downtime doing what you love.

2. Reflect on What You Are Making Space For
   As you gather to your tidy canvas to sort, ask yourself which version of you these items serve. Only keep what supports the Custom version of yourself you intend to become.

Thank you, as always, for being here. Stay in tune with this new year and its fresh turn of the page, and lean into the inspiration of who you are becoming.

This last subcategory of Komonos truly arises because it’s what’s left. You’ve already tidied all appliances when you did Household Equipment. You might ask, then, what’s left after cleaning supplies and the remaining house decor and trinkets? Cords. Lots of cords and electrical trash. A simple definition guides this last component to Komonos. Electrical includes anything that is an extension to help an appliance, not an appliance itself.

Every home approaches this category differently. Some households have drawers full of gadgets and cords. Others keep only the basics. Be sure to account for those extension cords that were assisting your lamp when you tidied it, or the extra phone charger that floats around your purse.

After gathering all my electrical on the tidying canvas, there wasn’t much! I, qiute quickly, thought about how I’d identify a “home” for these items, so as to avoid them getting wrapped up, lost, or not accounted for. Electrical is the easiest category for this to accumulate.

Certain electrical needs to be easy to grab without digging around. A charging station solved this instantly. It’s central and clearly visible and stocked with extra cords. Small shifts like this make living feel effortless. Isn’t that partly why we’re committed to this whole process in the first place? Highly recommend!

A Short Detour Into E Waste

After having everything gathered on my tidying canvas, I first identified electronic pieces that belonged in recycling. Finding a local drop off point made this part straightforward. I dumped them in a box and placed in the trunk of the car.

Then came the nostalgic challenge. CDs and DVDs are often housed where your cords live. These hold sentimental weight for many millennials, but aren’t technically electrical. If you uncovered lots of these, move them into the Sentimental category where they will wait until we’re ready to sort them thoughtfully in our last week!

To My Tech Heavy Readers

My household leans minimal with electrical. Many readers, however, have more complex setups for intensive electrical gadgets or sound and gaming systems. If you’re someone with multiple monitors, smart home accessories, networking devices, or bins of cables, we’d love your advice. Please share your tips for managing a more gadget heavy space in the comments.

Wrapping Up Komonos

Once your done with electrical, Komonos is officially complete! The victory feels real and a little revealing. I postponed plenty of items for Custom (next week) and Sentimental. The evidence is scattered downstairs. Camping gear uncovered in Household Equipment (such as Hydroflasks and sporks) had been tossed into the “deal with it later” pile. Sentimental pieces like Jared’s high school letterman jacket medals are sitting on top of a growing heap. This isn’t avoidance, but rather recognition that these items don’t belong in the front closet in the category of clothing, but in a Sentimental home. Nor did the sporks belong in Kitchen, but in the Custom category, which for us is "Custom: Outdoors Equipment”.

The Final Stretch

Today is December 9th. Our goal is to complete our tidy marathon (which I’m upgrading to “tidy festival”) by the week of Tuesday, January 6th. That gives us 4 full weeks left. When we account for the time spent on the holidays (if you celebrate), the window becomes even smaller.

The finish line is close. So stay focused, with some of the hardest and most meaningful categories ahead in your Custom and Sentimental.

We’ll start and finish Custom next week. Get thinking about what that is to you, or what is left. And we’ll get to Sentimental just as we hit Christmas, an akin feeling to the holiday.

This Week’s Plan

1. Begin Defining What Custom Category Is To You

Custom is the next chapter of this journey. Take time this week to consider what belongs in your own Custom category. Think about the items in your home that don’t fit anywhere else and feel unique to your lifestyle.

2. Research Storage Solutions for Family Photos & Nostalgic Media

I’ve been the unofficial family historian since middle school. You may uncover, near the end of the month, that it’s time to digitize. I’ve used iMemories in the past for photos, but will report back next week on what I decide to purchase and will include the cost in the tally. Start thinking ahead, so when we get to tidying Sentimental, you already have the tools of your choice.

Thank you, as always, for being here. Let’s push through this final stretch and welcome a lighter and more intentional season ahead!

Household is one of those categories that seems obvious, until you actually begin gathering. On paper, it sounds practical and straightforward. Just gather my cleaning supplies and everything that’s basically leftover from previous weeks, right?

You’re close.

Here’s one exception I ask you to make: skip all electronics this week.

All chords, appliances, and anything you plug in will be next week. We’ll stay focused on the things that make your space function, as if it were a “no-electricity world”. Think cleaning supplies and furniture. We’re gonna start from the olden days. This week is just what you’d tidy if you lived without electricity to consider.

There are 2 different Household Personalities:

1. Equipment

2. Supplies

So let’s set the stage with clear definitions.

What Counts As Household Supplies?

Household Supplies are consumables. These are the items you replenish over and over. They tend to multiply quietly because you buy them without much ceremony. They’re also the ones that scatter. You’ll gather these and bring to your tidying canvas first.

Common supplies include:

• Cleaning products like bars of soap or anything refillable

• Screws, rubber bands, and most items in the junk drawer

• Garbage bags

• Paper towels and toilet paper

• Batteries

• Light Bulbs

Maintaining Supplies asks for more vigilance because they come in waves when you re-stock at the grocery or hardware store. This also means there is ample opportunity to return to old habits, fastest, after tidying this category. So we’ll think about ways to decrease consumption amongst Supplies (like switching to re-usable markets) later in this post.

Household Supplies move fast, in and out of use. If they don’t have clear boundaries, they’ll spread through every room in a way that feels normal, until it’s just clutter without a home again. Consider switching to a Re-usable market in your area.

What Counts As Household Equipment?

Household Equipment is the non-consumable gear that supports your home. Think large, backbone items of interior design. These items aren’t used up. They stay with you, supporting the background of comfort.

Things like:

• Furniture

• All Decor

• Toolboxes and tools

• Blankets and pillows

• Grocery baskets and reusable totes

• Containers, towels, and rags

• Sewing kits or small repair tools

These items help you run your life. They’re not necessarily glamorous (unless if you’re an interior design queen), but they’re reliable. They’re the bones and joints of the home.

What I Noticed As I Gathered My Household Subcategories

Just days after Thanksgiving, I decided to tackle Household. The timing felt chaotic, but in a way, it was perfect. There’s something honest about tidying when you’re already surrounded by holiday overflow. It allowed for a little absorption and processing from all the family interaction.

Once I started gathering, I saw immediately how much of this category hides in plain sight. I’d walk to one drawer to gather batteries to add to my tidying canvas, then remember I kept another stash by the toolbox, then another in my purse and then, again, another near the tv remote. The same thing happened with cleaning products, light bulbs, the broom or two, spare rags, and extra soaps. I realized it was easiest to collect those consumables, meaning it was easiest and most easily identifiable to gather Household Supplies.

I kept going. This category was wide and varied. It brings up a lot of gathering fatigue.

Supplies have volume.

What I didn’t expect? The trash that showed itself. Packaging for refillable products. Half-used cleaners. Plastic spray bottles I kept “just in case.” Expired batteries. Paint. Random chemicals.

I made a plan to bring everything to our local waste facility the next time I ran errands. Little did I know, that small step made the process align with my values of making sustainable choices. And, in my first tidying marathon of 2024, was the first major step in switching all my supplies to smarter consumption choices.

Side Note: I’d already switched much of my daily consumables (the Supplies) to refillable glass containers, after my 2024 tidy marathon. That helped reduce the volume for 2025, but it took serious time and budget last year. If you want to try it, give yourself space to make the transition slowly. It took me 2 years to have enough budget to transition away from any name brand for cleaning you’d see at Target (like Tide, Clorox, or Arm & Hammer) to a Zero-waste and refillable shop. Try not to get overwhelmed by all the brands and bottles in this category. And if we’re being sustainable, be sure to make a “use it up” box so we don’t just toss and trash.

What does this all mean? The Supplies category ended up being a lot of mental work. Thinking about how I wanted to switch to re-usable, stop shopping at any mainstream consumer brand like Target, and crunch the numbers to see if it’s more costly, started me on the deeper work of what this whole tidying process was all out to do — internally transform me. These moments felt like eye rollers and a distraction to the goal that week. But, little did I know, this was where some of my life changes were gonna begin.

Finally. Once all the consumables were accounted for and tidied, there still remained the Household Equipment. The non-consumables. The furniture. The comforters and the baskets.

Equipment has weight.

By the time I’d completed all the mental work for Supplies, I was nearing the end of my week and made another exception to the KonMari rule. I would leave the functioning furniture in its place to tidy. I asked myself if I was looking to upgrade any of my pieces, or if I could make a good dollar on selling a couch or bed. I listed them online, and kept moving through the items that make those pieces comfortable (the blankets, the pillows, the baskets).

In sum?

The consumables — the Household Supplies — are arguably more exhausting than the non-consumables — Household Equipment.

There’s a lot of brand stimulation, chemicals, and, frankly, trash in the packaging and plastic in supplies. It forced me to ask myself (especially 2 years ago in my first tidying marathon) to change the way I consumed the supplies of my daily life. Then, the non-consumable Equipment, although literally heavier, took less energy. They serve more backbone purpose, so you can leave them in place to tidy.

Something to note: Household Equipment is where you can make a nice dollar back, if you choose a chair, instrument, or large piece of furniture to sell.

Where Joy Shows Up In Household

Although Household contains items that bring design and beauty to a home (like furniture…and the cleaner that takes care of it), it’s a little bit of a change of pace in how we ask ourselves if the item brings joy. Instead of being as personal as clothes, papers, and books, Household is a little more about:

• Assessing if a screwdriver is in good condition and will serve in the moment you need. It is useful?

• Knowledge of chemicals that bring awareness, perhaps inspiring an upgrade to glass or less brand stimulating items. Shout out to my local sustainable stores

  • Ren Market

  • TARE Market

This Week’s Prompt For You

Spots in your home to remember where Household might hide:

• The space under your kitchen or bathroom sink

• Your toolbox or repair corner

• Shelves of cleaning products

• Your junk drawer

• A cabinet of extra toiletries

• A basket of reusable bags

As You Tidy Household This Week

You’re entering the bulky center of the KonMari process. The Household Subcategory of the larger Komonos is wide ranging, mentally challenges our consumption practices, and is literally physical, being full of the everyday things that keep our lives running.

It can feel messy as you gather, tidy, and put away. But these parts — where we really see how we consume and move about our lives — have us in the heart of the tidy marathon.

We’re observing ourselves and seeing the deep uses of our everyday lives.

We get to choose, now, how we want to transform into who we want to be.

Congrats on completing your first subcategory to Komonos last week, Skin Care. And! For breaking the rules a bit by completing a specific room, your bedroom and most used, personal bathroom. By breaking the KonMari rules once (tidying by room), we will return to our main guidelines of tidying by category. The hope is that having one full room done, you get to walk into that completely tidied space, each night, knowing what you have to look forward to in the rest of your space, if you just keep going.

After Skin Care, every year, it always feels most satisfying to move to Kitchen. I think it’s because I’m following the routine of my day. Clothing. Check. Skin Care. Check. What’s next? How I nourish my body. Food.

The Unexpected

When I tackled Kitchen in my first tidying marathon in 2025, I expected to sort dishes and cookware. I didn’t expect so many small groups of items to appear. Baking supplies, spices, oils, and food safe kitchen cleaners all needed their own attention, too. The official KonMari approach keeps consumables in their own subcategory [Household Supplies], but I found it helpful to tackle Kitchen glassware [Household Equipment] and those consumables, alongside each other. That way, when I returned everything to its proper place, I had a full and functioning kitchen, with spices and dishware, cleaning spray and forks.

Side Note: Household Supplies like Bleach and Windex (more applicable to outside the Kitchen) stayed with laundry room supplies, for a later week.

The Kitchen Map

These are the categories that naturally surfaced once everything was gathered.

• Daily dishware

• Coffee and tea dishware

• Glassware for leftovers

• Electrical cooking tools such as the Crock Pot and VitaMix

• Baking and cooking hardware such as pie pans and cookie sheets

• Vinegars and oils

• Spices

• Personal cooking hobbies such as bread making and fermenting

• Daily counter cleaning supplies

Tidying This Week

My goal, this week, is to identify all these items I’ve collected and imagine them in my daily routines. For you, some of those things might come straight to mind. Your favorite morning coffee mug, your best cooking knife, the perfect mixing bowls. After gathering everything, you’ll have an empty kitchen. My, oh my, that’s a rare feeling. As you assess what sparks joy, you get to enjoy the put away, with only what sparks joy, right back into those nicely organizing boxes called cupboards. It takes off the extra thought of figuring out where the item belongs, and meets satisfaction a little faster. Also, the Kitchen subcategory of Komonos just happens to speak to basically only one room, so it sort of feels like tidying by room, which may be a little extra satisfactory to you, too.

You’ll also be tidying the one too many spices, the cleaning supplies related to food and kitchen, and some consumable foods like oils. This is a good time assess your grocery shopping habits. Maybe you’ll note you stuff too many food items in the back of the cupboard, or save that holiday flavor for that one time you never use.

I’m eager to dig in as we prepare for Thanksgiving. I hope to share an after photo next week of my ideal coffee prep station.

What’s Next

Speaking of Thanksgiving, that holiday is our finish line for only Kitchen, not the whole Komonos category. The plan is to finish Kitchen this week so we can take a rest week during the holiday. We are “off of work” from tidying that whole week, from Monday, November 24 - Sunday, November 30. Simply finish your Kitchen category and get ready for a good meal.

As we pause for the actual week of Thanksgiving, below is a reminder of the full progress we’ve made within Komonos so far, and where we’ll pick back up the week of December 1:

Skin care products: Done
Makeup: Done and completed with Skin Care
Accessories: Done and completed with clothing
Kitchen: Done by Thanksgiving
Remainder of Household Equipment: Upcoming
Remainder of Household Supplies: Upcoming
CDs and DVDs: After Thanksgiving
Electrical: After Thanksgiving
Valuables: After Thanksgiving

This Week’s Prompt For You

You’ll find that Kitchen has a lot of overlap with Household Equipment and Household Supplies, which tend to be filled with items we use often and/or items we forgot we even owned.

Your task this week is to pay attention. Notice what equipment and supplies you reach for most (that favorite cleaning spray or essential oil). Notice what sits untouched (that baking kit or extra cups). Let these observations support you when you ask what sparks joy. Kitchen is an easy subcategory to get wrapped up in feeling we need all the gadgets and gizmos, but if not bringing us joy, can go left untouched for long periods of time. What does this equal? Clutter.

With gratitude for your presence here and even more as we move toward Thanksgiving.

Perhaps it’s the breather we need, just before we enter the most expansive category of Komonos, and its pairing 9 subcategories. Here are the 9 Komono subcategories, a big and varied group with plenty of work ahead:

• Skin Care Products

• Makeup

• Accessories

• CDs and DVDs

• Electrical

• Valuables

• Household Equipment (furniture, decor, linens)

• Household Supplies (expendables and disposables like toilet paper and cleaning products)

• Kitchen

At Tidy By Tor, we start this category with Skin Care. While tidying this year, I noticed right away that this used to be the category I splurged on most. Gathering everything again this time, I realized I was able to stay true to what I chose last year and hadn’t accumulated much since. Skin care is one of those categories that can grow quickly, especially with all the free samples and trial sizes that find their way in. When you create a clear plan and stick to your favorite, most effective products, staying true to your essentials and not wandering from them, you can keep this category simple, tidy, and sustainable.

As we begin with Skin Care, the smallest and perhaps most personal subcategory, you’ll start to get a real sense of how the Komonos process feels. Unlike Clothing, Papers, and Books, which usually have clear homes, Komonos items tend to wander and weave themselves throughout your entire space. Starting with Skin Care helps you ease into this stage without feeling overwhelmed.

Before you get started, let me explain.

Now that Clothing, Books, and Papers are complete, your bedroom (assuming that’s where your closet and bathroom are) should be getting close to feeling tidied. While we usually tidy by category rather than by room, the beginning of Komonos is the one exception I like to make. It gives you the chance to feel what it’s like to have one full room completely tidied, which gives a boost of motivation as you move through the marathon ahead.

By treating your bedroom as the one room to tidy while beginning Komonos, you’ll also get to practice with each of the nine subcategories, since most people already have at least a few items from each category in this space.

Steps for This Week

This Weeks’ Goals in a paragraph summary. I will further write it out, step by step for you to follow, beneath.

To make this week’s goal super clear: The goal is to get to the point where you’ve created a larger canvas workspace, perhaps 2-3 canvas drop cloths, outside your bedroom to tackle the largest category of our method yet, Komonos. From there, the goal is to empty your bedroom and personal bathroom to completely tidy them. You’ll do this by getting practice gathering and placing near their respective cardstock signs, outside your bedroom. When you get to the bare bones, joy check the items remaining in your room, likely larger furniture, heavy items, or artwork you feel you can assess (as an exception) still in there place and not moved to the canvas workspace. Feel the emptiness and build your room back to basic functioning order by tidying skin care first, from your canvas dropcloths. Finish skin care, and any other absolute items you needs to function, to live in your room with the essentials that bring you contentness until next week. This’ll include some Household Equipment and Supplies, certainly. Sit in the joy of a completely tidied room, the one time I allow this exception to tidy a room within a category, until we tackle the rest next week.

Step By Step Instructions

1. Make signage.
   Create a cardstock sign for each of the nine subcategories, like some of them pictured here.

   

2. Prepare your gathering space.
   Komonos is the biggest category yet. Perhaps choose another area in your home where you can spread out large canvas drop cloths plural.

3. Start with skin care.
   Gather all of your skin care products from every room: your bedroom, bathroom, guest spaces, linen closet, and even travel or sample sizes.

4. Empty your bedroom space.
   After having gathered your skin care and having completed clothing, your bedroom and bathroom won’t be completely empty, but since toiletries make up a good portion of what’s stored there, it should feel close. You’ll be left mostly with Household Supplies and Household Equipment. Supplies are disposables (like toilet paper, Q-tips, and cleaning products), while Equipment includes items like your toothbrush, containers, and glassware. Gather those and place them near their signs. After this, your bedroom should be feeling really bare.

5. Keep going. Clear your bedroom surfaces.
   Take out your bedsheets, pillows, and anything on your dresser or counters. Place them on the drop cloth in their proper subcategory. Your room should now feel nearly empty, except for large furniture.

6. Work backward in your bedroom and bathroom.
   While the smaller items are out, take the opportunity to joy check the larger items that remain in your room. This might include your bed frame, dresser, lamps, or jewelry armoire. Avoid heavy lifting by working around these pieces. Think of your nearly empty room as a reverse drop cloth—another “blank canvas.”

7. Joy check what’s been gathered and refill your bedroom.
   Once your main bedroom has been tidied, move on to the items on your drop cloths. You may have uncovered some cross-category items, like a phone charger (Electrical) or framed photos (Valuables/Sentimental). This is great practice for the weeks ahead. Make sure each item is placed near the correct sign, joy check them, and return the ones that live in your bedroom and personal bathroom to the home you decide they belong for the long run. Of course, donate or rid, if you’ve decided they deserve a new life with someone else.

This Week’s Prompt For You

• Begin the Komonos category by expanding your workspace and setting up signage for all nine subcategories.

• Start with your bedroom and bathroom so you can feel one full space near completion.

• Focus this week on Skin Care and anything else gathered from your bedroom and bathroom.

• Use your empty room as a visual reminder of progress and motivation.

It’s worth noting that this week might feel a bit unsatisfying because you won’t fully finish the Komonos category yet. You’ll complete skin care and make progress on the rest, but that’s exactly the point. You’ll have started on all nine subcategories, by gathering, tidying, and returning those items to your bedroom. You’ll now have one, full room done, giving you the momentum that’ll carry you forward into next week, tackling the rest of the 8 subcategories of Komonos.

If you finish early, dive into CDs and DVDs (a typically quite small category) to top off the week, and I’ll share some additional tips for tidying and putting everything away in the Komonos category with ease next week!

Building the System + Tidying the Papers

This week’s blog comes to you in two parts:

1. Building a Papers Tidying System

2. The Actual Tidying of Papers

Oh my goodness, Papers. Let’s just say it, this is a hard category. But it’s also one of my favorites, and here’s why: it takes the most effort upfront to create a true system. Once that system is in place, the flow of papers through your home, Tidy By Tor style, becomes almost effortless.

Last year, I spent serious time building mine. And this year? My entire Papers category was done in just two hours. That’s the beauty of creating a sustainable system. Once it’s in place, maintaining it means simply finding a few rogue receipts in coat pockets, deciding what to do with some kids’ artwork that made it to the fridge, or a few business cards piling up on your desk. A little fine-tuning, and you’re back.

Before diving into the Papers category, it helps to have a few key supplies ready to make sorting and storing smoother. The five below recommended tools will set the foundation for a lasting system. If your budget is limited and you can only start with a few, prioritize getting the mail sorter and long term paper file storage (the first three on the bullet point list), as they make the biggest difference in keeping daily paper flow under control while you work through the rest.

Recommended Supplies:

• Mail Sorter or Paper Tray System

• Plastic File Folder Storage [for Papers Needed Indefinitely - Infrequently Used]

• Fashionable Choice in File Folder Storage [for Papers Needed Indefinitely - Frequently Used]

• Small Bookshelf or an identified home for the Papers Currently In Use subcategory (other than mail)

• Mail Collector

The Three Categories of Papers

1. Papers Currently in Use (a.k.a. Papers That Need First Attention)

This is the most “alive” category, the one most likely to frustrate you and clutter your living space because it’s constantly in flux. These are papers whose purpose is not yet determined or known: unopened mail, invitations, notes, journals, or little reminders for your future self. They drift into our lives without clear timing or context, and that is exactly why they need their own home.

Most people lump these together with “short-term” papers (a.k.a. Papers Need for a Limited Time, the second category as addressed below), but that’s precisely where things get messy. Instead, Tidy By Tor teaches that Papers Currently in Use should have their own category, and their own home.

Let’s start with unopened mail.
We all get it: spam, flyers, endless marketing. These papers take the most energy because they demand attention before revealing their importance. To make this easier, I recommend creating a designated “mail collector,” simply a spot that gives your incoming mail a home until you’re ready to deal with it. Think of the act of simply moving your mail inside, to its designated home, as a little dopamine hit for adulting.

TBT Mail Collector Ideas:

• Letter Holder

• Leather Wall Pocket Organizer

• Acrylic Wall Mail Holder

The purpose here is just to collect, not to process…just yet. Celebrate the act of bringing the mail in. That alone is one tidy step.

In our house, for example, my dad collected the mail while we were away overseas. His job was not to sort or open it, just to bring it in. That is care in action. The system held up perfectly, albeit stuffed when we got home.

Now, let’s talk about journals and notes to your future self. These are also papers that belong in this first category of papers.

Although these belong to the same category, they do deserve their own home, separate from unopened mail. Think quick post-it jots, quotes, or sparks of inspiration. They’re meaningful, but their purpose or time of intention might not be clear yet. I recommend giving them a dedicated space, perhaps a shelf on your bookcase, apart from your current books you’re reading and your hall of famers.

Try to avoid overloading your fridge with these sorts of notes of inspiration. It quickly becomes a jumble with action items and to-do lists. Speaking of, these to-do like notes belong to a different category, the next. They don’t belong on the fridge. In fact, I’m an advocate of no worded papers on the fridge.

2. Papers Needed for a Limited Time

You’ve chosen and installed your mail collector and dedicated a place for papers to collect that inspire you, both subcategories within the subcategory 1 of Papers called Papers Currently In Use (as above). Those items are sort of vague and feel unknown, hence “Currently In Use/Need First Attention”. It’s because they are and can be frustrating, since you don’t know their purpose or application moment just yet. Good job dedicating a home for those papers. Also good news, it gets easier from here.

The subcategory in Papers of Papers Needed for a Limited Time are papers you’ve already opened and understand its application (typically meaning it has an expiration date), but you haven’t had the ability, time, or energy to act on them....just yet. Maybe it’s a bill, an RSVP, or a reminder to vote. You know what to do with it, you just haven’t wanted to expel the energy on it yet. These often get placed on the fridge or the clutter paper pile. Nope! Not anymore.

This is where a Mail Sorter becomes your best friend.

This Mail Sorter location is the in-between zone for short-term items awaiting action, after they’ve been removed from the Mail Collector, a.k.a. the space for Currently In Use/Papers That Need First Attention. You’ve now acknowledged the task, now you’re simply holding space for it until the time is right.

This allows for no more piles on the counter or chaos on the fridge. Even if it’s not mail, feel free to put paper in the Mail Sorter that are needed for a limited time, but soon will be shredded, tossed, or used.

3. Papers That Must Be Kept Indefinitely

This one is straightforward: passports, insurance documents, tax records, instruction manuals. But even here, Tidy By Tor splits them into two groups:

• Referenced Frequently: Items you reach for often, like health info, lease details, or passports.

• Referenced Infrequently: Things you rarely touch but must keep, like appliance manuals or past tax returns.

For this, I recommend two storage types:

• Fashionable Porta-Files for items accessed regularly

• Simple Plastic Organizers for long-term, less frequently referenced, paper storage

It’s a visual and practical distinction, keeping what matters most easily at hand and visually pleasing while maintaining order, yet less fashionable (as suitable) for the rest.

A Note on Systems vs. Storage

I know, Marie Kondo says, “Storage systems are just prison cells for your items.” And I mostly agree. But Papers are the exception with Tidy By Tor.

Papers are active. They move, they ask things of us, they carry more meaning than the typical item we own. And coming from a prolific journaler, where I say screw the famous quote, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, words mean a lot in our lives. Unlike clothes or trinkets, papers hold actions and ideas. So yes, they deserve systems, because their movement through your life reflects your movement too.

This year, I spent just two hours tidying my papers, not because I had fewer, but because my system already existed. That is what I want for you. I encourage you to spend time building the aforementioned system, then move into the actual tidying.

The Actual Tidying of Papers

Once your system is in place, tidying Papers becomes refreshingly simple.

I had my:

• Mail Collector by the door

• Mail Sorter ready for opened items

• Bookshelf space for journals and notes (yes, I count journals as papers, not books)

• Porta-files and plastic organizers for long-term papers

Then I dumped everything onto my “tidying canvas” and went to work.

Unopened mail? Collected.
Mail needing action? In the mail sorter.
Receipts from coat pockets? Filed or shredded.
Insurance policy? Placed in the infrequently used file storage.
Journals? Given a new home.

The entire process took two hours (okay, with help from my beloved paper shredder).

One caution: watch for papers that lean sentimental, such as old letters, handwritten recipes, or family notes. Those belong in the Sentimental category later in the marathon. Keep them safe for now.

This Week’s Prompt For You

When you finish tidying papers:

• Clear your workspace and give yourself a moment of celebration, maybe a glass of something you love.

• Vacuum or refresh your “tidying canvas.”

• Create nine Komono signs (preferably on cardstock) for next week’s subcategories.

• Gather each Komono group and place them by their sign.

Your home, and mind, are getting lighter, higher.

This category is a refreshing change of pace after so many weeks of textiles and fabrics. Books have a satisfying heft to them; each one feels substantial in your hands. Tidying them can be especially rewarding, since letting go of a few heavier volumes instantly frees up more physical and visual space than the lighter items we’ve already tidied.

Depending on your reading habits, this week might feel like a gentle breeze as you flip through your shelves, or, if you’re a devoted reader, like hauling an entire library.

For me, this one’s brief. In both the 2024 and this year’s tidying marathons, the books category has landed right around the midway point. By then (about week 7 r 8), I’m ready for a slower, more reflective week. Thankfully, this category provides exactly that: a lighter, calmer pause in the 16-week process.

If you’re feeling nervous about tackling this week, leave a comment below. I have plenty of tips gathered from fellow tidying marathoners who happen to be much more of bookworms than I am.

So let’s begin. Start by gathering all your books and bringing them into your freshly shaken-out canvas workspace. Include coffee table books, recipe books, and any workbooks from school. Manuals and magazines can wait, since those will come later in the Papers category.

For every book, first ask yourself: Is this a Hall-of-Famer? What does this mean?

1. Did this book change my life?

2. Do you reference it regularly?

3. Did you mark it up with annotations and inspirations still used today?

If yes, keep the physical copy. Consider identifying a “top-shelf” and visually pleasing place in the home where these special, once-in-a-lifetime book series live together. Maybe even choose good lighting, nice bookends, and some decor around it. Make this location a place you’d enjoy visiting when you want to re-visit words that changed your life. Consider a nice, acrylic label with Hall-of-Famer Books inscribed for this section of your home.

If the answer to these questions was no, then consider 3 options. And do so, considering the order below:

• Downloading to an e-reader

• Donation

• Selling (books can be a good return on time investment for re-sale)

• Re-gifting

Downloading to an e-reader

Consider downloading your book to an e-reader first. Look, I feel that tidying books is the most humble category. Very limited are books a purchase of impulse. Instead, literature speaks to us when we’re trying to learn. Often, in vulnerable spaces in life, we pick up a new read, in hopes were are going to change. Books speak to us when we are seeking evolution. Therefore, this category is the one where I encourage you to be a little less stringent on yourself. Very rarely do we start tidying because we have too many books. Books are almost never the focus of the desire for a tidy marathon because this is what you over-consumed. Especially in a world where books are being banned, Tidy By Tor encourages a little leniency in this category. This is why I encourage you to download a book that isn’t a Hall-of-Famer to an e-reader as your second option. Drop the physical copy in the donation box (if it didn’t make the Hall-of-Famer list) and press download. Save it for that future you, when you’re ready to absorb the information. Let go of the physical version without a second thought, without guilt.

The rest is easy.

Donation

If the book isn’t speaking to you anymore or if even lifting a finger to go find the book on an e-reader is too much work for the book, just toss it in the donation box.

Selling

On the rare occasion you feel the book is valuable, gently organize it in a separate, color-coded box for re-sale. For collectors, this can also be a surprisingly valuable category. You can make real money selling collectible or limited-edition books. I recommend lining a box with linen, a soft towel, or some cushion and storing them vertically for easy access while you list them.

💡 Pro tip: Skip AbeBooks. In 2024 I tried it, and it cost $25 per month to list only a few books. We sold one book for over $200, but the platform is really made for bookstores with large inventories. Instead, use Poshmark, Craigslist, or niche Facebook Marketplace groups.

Re-gifting

For sentimental books, think about gifting forward instead of keeping. For example, we passed along our Harry Potter and Eragon collections to close friends who are expecting a baby. What better way to share something you’ve loved than to see it live into a new generation?

This Week’s Prompt for You

🗂️ Your activity for this week:

1. Separate your collectible books.
   Make two boxes: one for valuable editions you may want to sell, and another for those you’d like to gift to friends or family (as, partially, seen above). Gifting within your circle helps your books stay close to your heart. You’ll know they’re being loved and read, just without the clutter.

2. Organize donation books.
   Considering using a worn box or very different looking type of box for those going to donation, so as to avoid mixing up valuable books for re-sale and those going to your friends. See my photo of books I sent up to Goodwill in my trunk above.

3. E-reader owners, use the “cheat.”
   If you’re not ready to part with a title, download it digitally. You’ll still have it on file without letting it clutter your shelves.

4. Feeling ahead? Prep for next week: Papers.
   If books are an easy category for you, start prepping your supplies for the next one. You’ll be gathering all the papers in your home soon.

   The Tidy by Tor Method organizes papers into three categories:

   • Papers Currently in Use

   • Papers to Keep Indefinitely: Frequent Use

   • Papers to Keep Indefinitely: Infrequent Use

   I recommend:

   • A mail collect box and a mail sorting tray for “Currently in Use” papers.

   • Color-coded PortaFiles for Frequent and Infrequent Use papers.
     (Because even organization deserves color!)

As the 16-Week Space Refresh Trek suggests, this is our first week carrying over work from the previous category. Clothing is a big one, often feeling like scaling a mountain at the very start of the journey. For that reason, I give myself, and you, two full weeks to work through every stitch of fabric in the home.

In the Tidy By Tor method, we also consider how we put things away and how we give or donate consciously.

By this second week of working with clothing, you’re probably diving into accessories such as hats, scarves, belts, and the forgotten corners at the bottom of your closet. If you’ve been trying to list pieces for resale, you might be running a little behind. That’s perfectly fine. It’s this dual opportunity to make a little money as we go (and the action that really adds time to the overall process) that we give the clothing category a little more breathing room.

Hot Tip: Marie Kondo notes in her book that after tidying thousands of items with clients, people typically regret 3-5 items. That number might seem intimidating at first, but think about it. If you’ve sorted through thousands of items, the regret of 3-5 things is remarkably low.

Last year, I regretted a pair of mittens and a hat. This year, I’m taking extra care to balance joy checking and practicality in my choices as I finish the clothing category.

I’m also genuinely looking forward to the put-away. It’s here that I gently diverge from the KonMari principle that folding should chosen over hangers. Personally, I prefer to hang as much as I can. It gives my wardrobe room to breathe. Since I actually enjoy the put-away stage, I’ve already returned some of my clothes to the closet, finding renewed motivation to finish my accessories with that satisfying sense of completion.

Notice how my pants used to layer on top of one another, on the top shelf. Now, they’re either hung or neatly rolled in drawers. My shoes finally have their own space, and here is another hot tip: I love using smaller hangers for my intimates.

This week, I also started boxing and labeling for donations. Using colored tape, I marked each box for a specific destination:

• Women’s clothing and toiletries for a local victims of sexual assault program.

• Gently used items for Goodwill.

• Winter gear for our local unhoused resource center.

I even set aside a specific day in the middle of the week to check the hours and drop-off rules so I could make my donation feel intentional, not rushed.

If you are starting to feel fatigued by the extra time required for listing items for resale, be kind to yourself. Create a “resale basket” or bin. Clip a note to it that says, “For later.” You can revisit these listings after the marathon ends, when your space and your mind are clearer.

This Week’s Prompt for You

Your activity for this week:

• Get to the bottom of your clothing category. This means finishing accessories, including jewelry, hats, scarves, umbrellas, and coats in all closets. If jewelry feels too sentimental, save it for the final category, Sentimental.

• Research your preferred donation centers and recycling locations. Check their accepted items and drop-off hours before you go. This part sometimes feels like a hassle, but you can make an impact, here. Researching ahead of time can save you unnecessary frustration later and ensure you feel fulfilled by helping someone out there and giving new life to the things that aren’t serving you anymore.

• Set aside items for resale without letting them interrupt your flow. A dedicated basket or hamper works wonders. You can return to selling after the full refresh if that feels better for you.

And finally, enjoy the put-away. Let this part feel like celebration. Use hangers generously so your clothes can breathe. Lay socks flat in pairs, tri-fold your pants in the classic Marie Kondo put away style, and roll your athleisure wear neatly into drawers. I recommend keeping everyday wear and workout clothes separate: your daywear hanging, your athleisure rolled. It naturally creates a boundary between rest and activity.

With any remaining energy, do a light prep for next week’s category, Books. Shake out your canvas drop cloth and, if you would like, order supplies such as acrylic labels. I personally label my “Hall of Fame” books, the ones that changed my life, separately from my “To Read” stack.

See this link for my favorite label suggestions and my website for more recommended tidying tools to let this small act of preparation carry you forward.

This is the week the physical work begins. Hopefully, the mental work has built up enough momentum and anticipation for you to press the gas. I recall the first year I tidied, I had gotten home from a very special international trip and had just finished reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It hit me like a rock that this was what I needed to pour my efforts into when I got home.

In full transparency with you, my reader, my inability to assess what made my home a joyful and prosperous space was frustrating. I, so fortunately, was out of office and out traveling. But this gave way to what truly inspired me to make the most of the time I had abroad and use those last four weeks of my big trip to mentally imagine what I wanted this process to look like. As it turns out, and I hope the same goes for you, one of the most important parts of the three-part, sixteen-week Space Refresh is, in fact, the mental preparation. You have just wrapped it up. And now you can start the fun stuff.

Below is an image of what my tidying space looked like in the first year I initiated my marathon (2024).

You can see my tidying space in last week’s blog for this year. Also, if you haven’t taken those before photos, ensure you do it now. I still look back at the below before photos and am astonished at what I had found acceptable to have (way too much) and still find joy in knowing how far our space has come.

With your before photos captured from last week and throughout the week, your tidying canvas workspace set up and agreed upon with whoever your housemates are, and your energy to begin, it’s now time to select a tidying outfit that you will wear to “dress your best.” We’re not thinking suit and tie, but choose a fit that makes you feel comfortable, able-bodied, and perhaps connected to who you feel your personality is. Choose an outfit that brings you joy. There are no standards in this space to “dress to impress,” only “dress YOUR best” for the occasion.

It could be your jammies, a gym outfit, your overalls, garden clothes, or even your high heels. Whatever you feel is going to get the job done and put you in a joyful headspace. No one else gets to determine what that looks and feels like but you.

Mine each year is my favorite pair of red overalls with a very breathable long sleeve. I feel sleek, vibrant, and goofy. And that’s how I want to feel when I’m also doing the hard work of checking in with my heart every time I assess if an item brings me joy. Think of it. If you’re in what you wore to bed and haven’t had your coffee, do you really think you will be able to jump in and ask your heart the deep stuff, fully coherent for the person you’re becoming? Dress up, but in whatever way that looks and feels like to you. Here’s mine.

One last hot tip: although some folks categorize accessories and jewelry with household, I think it makes the most sense to do them at the same time as clothing. Do these last for your clothing category. I recommend using a large white platter or clear acrylic surface to visualize and sort of create your own blank canvas for the small items. See below.

This Week’s Prompt for You

Your activity for this week:

• After laying out your canvas, bring all your clothes to this space. Include accessories like cold weather wear, all jackets from every corner of the closet, and shoes. Tidy your first category.

• Identify a spot for a hanger to hang items if you want to list them on places like Poshmark or Facebook Marketplace.

• The clothing category does include jewelry. Do this last, to treat yourself by being able to sit in one place.

Welcome back to your final week of Part I: Mental Preparation in the 16 Week Space Refresh. You’ve sat with your “why,” clarified your intentions, and gathered your tools. You’ve dreamed, planned, and felt the anticipation rise. This week, before diving into the physical work, it’s time to create your gift for the future you: your tidying workspace.

This week’s mission is to prepare the stage for what’s to come. Designate a specific, comfortable, and functional area where you’ll return again and again throughout the next 12 weeks. This will be your tidying arena and your creative lab for transformation. It’s the place where you’ll sort, reflect, and decide what is bringing you joy.

If you share your home with others, communicate openly about this space. Let them know that for the next several weeks, this area will stay “alive.” Unlike the rest of your home, it doesn’t need to be put away each night. It’s a living, breathing project space that will evolve alongside you. By claiming it intentionally, you’re making room for a space that will serve where you are that day; you don’t need to feel pressure to rush through the deep, emotional work of assessing if an item is matching the energy of the future you. If you can’t read your gut that day, set it down, take your rest, and return when you’re ready again.

Here’s what mine looks like this year!

My workspace sits on a large canvas drop cloth that defines the boundary of my tidying zone. Over the coming weeks, it will collect dust, bits of paper, and fragments of the old, but it will also hold the visible proof of change. It’s been agreed upon with my partner that this space stays open and ongoing until the full process is complete.

Another small tip: if you plan to sell some of your items, set up a simple photo station within or near this space. Hang a few sturdy hangers or use a single picture-frame nail on a blank wall. As you move through your categories, you can quickly snap photos to list on Poshmark or Facebook Marketplace. It’s a simple system that lets you transform your effort into a little extra cash flow. In my first round, I earned back the cost of my supplies, and then some. You may be surprised at how much value still lives in what you no longer need. I truly felt, in my first tidying marathon 2025, that my trash certainly was someone else’s treasure. You can see more of the numbers I crunched in my first blog series, here.

This Week’s Prompt for You

Your activity for this week:

• If you haven’t yet, purchase or gather your tidying supplies. Everything listed in last week’s Optional Tidying Tools is there to support you, not pressure you.

• Bring all your supplies to your designated workspace. Lay them out on your canvas drop cloth or whatever surface you’ve chosen to define your area.

• Clearly agree with any household partners where this workspace will remain for the next 12 weeks.

• Take your before photos. Document your desk, your closet, your bookshelf, or any spaces that feel most “you.” You’ll thank yourself later when you see the contrast between now and what’s to come.

Remember, this week isn’t about decluttering yet. It’s about creating the container where transformation will happen. You’re shaping both your mindset and your physical environment to support the deeper work ahead.

Perhaps, most emphasizingly, even if your space already looks neat, remember that tidying is not about cleanliness or even akin to spring cleaning. It’s about creating conscious space for who you are becoming.

Now that we’ve sat with our why’s, mine being“Create freedom to move”, this week turns toward a vital shift: choosing how you’re going to do the work. My Re-Find Mission at the apple orchard reminded me of both the physical and emotional work that’s coming. But this week is about preparing physically for tidying. Although not physically decluttering just yet, this week is for watching and noticing.

Look in your workbook prior to Week 5: Begin With Clothing and study the Optional Tidying Tool list. See below:

Allow this list to sit with you. As you walk through your days, start noticing spots in your living space that drain you. It may show up in your linen closet or in an office with too many supplies on your desk. Pay attention to the form, volume, and quantity of items you are tempted to toss. For now, make a mental note.

In this week’s work, start picturing what tools you want use when you start letting things go. Think of how you’ll pack, sort, and bring items for donation or discard. This is about laying out your “tidying arena” so you can act smoothly when the time is right.

A few tools that I find truly impactful:

• Green Paper Products 13-Gallon Drawstring Bags
  Strong, practical, and useful for clothing donations along with your regular trash. They’re sturdier than most compostable bags and far simpler to carry than thick, black bags. I stock up on them annually and always prefer them over the ones my county provides for free, for those who compost.

• 26x12x12 Corrugated Boxes from Uline
  Ideal for bulky things such as books or household items. This box form holds up, packs neatly, and fits in a car without fuss, like a predictable Tetris game you can play every time you load the car, for another run. The many pluses to boxes over bags include:

  • Marking each with colorful duct tape for sorting such as Goodwill vs. the food pantry vs. a box of goods you want to try to sell.

  • You can store the boxes in your basement without feeling like you have hordes of trash. Instead you’re organized.

  • They’re a hard form item to hold in your arm width-span for stacking and moving out of the way, with ease.

  • You can toss items across the room, honing your Michael Jordan aim. Trust me, you’ll do this plenty of times. When the drawstring bag isn’t open for the millionth sock you just wanna toss, instead of stepping over items that crunch under your toes, you’ll thank me.

• Paper Sorting Systems

  **Also scroll to the bottom, purple box of my old blogs to see what I bought in my first year of tidying, here too!**
  You might be surprised I’m so specifically talking about papers. But here’s what I’m thinking. The first 3 categories are 1) Clothing, 2) Books, 3) Papers. Boxes and bags serve you well for the first 2. But, when you get to 3, you’ll start to notice a lot of papers are simply necessity to life; you can’t just toss or donate. Think passport, manuals, and your taxes. So ya, it’s time, this early, to start daydreaming about an ideal new paper system you’d like to implement. When tackling papers, this is what I’ve found has treated me well. My system:

  • A small mail slot for all incoming post so I don’t feel obligated to rip open every piece of mail, the minute I receive it. Instead, I can feel a little dopamine hit, just for grabbing the mail, taking inside and out of the in-climate weather(who knows what’s inside the mail), and placing it in its inside-the-home, dedicated new spot until I have time to get to it.

  

  • A sorter for action items such as RSVPs or cards that require a reply. This is the location for when I’ve made the time (perhaps over coffee) to catch the mail out of the corner of my eye and rip open the invite to a wedding. From there, I can toss or paper shred the junk and place the items that require and action item in sorter. Then I can walk away, enjoy my coffee, and return perhaps the next morning to actually do the RSVP.

    

  • Beyond mail, I use 2, separate types of boxes for holding important papers.

    • 1) Vintage metal Port-A-File units for things I must grab frequently, such as IDs and passports. These are pleasing to the eye and sit out in an easily accessible place.

    

    • 2) Polypropylene MUJI file folders for things I access infrequently, such as manuals or warranties. These are bland, style wise, and stay inside the linen closet.

Though Marie Kondo says, “storage is prison for your things,” some form of storing is a must, and with papers it’s critical to think it through.

The goal for Week 3 is slow, calm planning. Watch your surroundings, pick your tools, and, if you wish, start ordering supplies so by two weeks from now you can start with clarity.

This Week’s Prompt for You

Your activity for this week:

• Study the Optional Tidying Tools list. Maybe print the checklist above

• Pick out your tools of choice

• Look at your living space with focus

• Order any vital supplies for upcoming work
  

This week is about soft action. You are not discarding just yet. You are choosing with intention how you will start.

This week’s mission is to step outside your usual space and take a small adventure. Call it your Re-Find Mission.

It doesn’t have to be a grand trip. It might be a weekend road trip, an evening walk in a new neighborhood, a visit to a museum, or even a quiet stop at the library. The point is to shift your scenery and your perspective. Use this time to revisit the why you named in Week 1 and let visuals (art, nature, or architecture) give new shape to your purpose you wrote down in week 1.

In 2024, my Re-Find Mission took me to the Van Gogh Museum. I stood in front of a painting of a muddy road with a lone figure walking toward faint light. She moved forward despite the darkness, unnoticed, yet entirely committed to her path. That image became the moments of thought I really gave to my week 1 work. That week 1 mission continued to sit well with me and further became my anchor, a visual representation of my why that words could not capture. It reminded me that growth does not come from escaping but from engaging fully where we are and that I could, in fact, keep moving forward with thought and preparation to make changes in my life, upon returning home, by the actions and daily reflections I made from then on.

This year, in 2025, my Re-Find Mission looked very different. My why, surprisingly, remained the same: creating the freedom to move. But the setting for confirming this was simpler. Instead of finding unique and hard to reach places while romantically (and unsustainably) abroad, I found my reflection time while visiting my niece and nephew, picking apples in an orchard. The trip itself had already been on my calendar, but I chose to layer it with more intention. Walking through the orchard, carrying my niece in my arms, I let myself reflect on my mission and reaffirm that it still holds true.

These two Re-Find Missions could not have been more different. One was romantic and inspired by art, the other was grounded and woven into everyday family life, a plan already in the books. Both were equally impactful. They showed me that self-discovery does not require elaborate plans. It can happen while exploring a museum in another country or in the quiet pauses of our everyday routines.

This is why the Re-Find Mission matters. It’s not about destinations, but about the intention you bring to the moment. Sometimes that looks like stepping into a gallery, walking a new corner of your city, or noticing the night sky. Other times it is about making the most of the time you already have, simply by choosing to see it differently. Even if it’s Sunday night meal prep, taking care of the elderly in your life, or that same ole’ routine with a friend. This week, choose to assign a special task to the event. Find the affirmation or second space to ask yourself if your week 1 why is your true direction.

Take this second week to check in with where your heart and mind were last week.

This is your chance to set the tone for the next 14 weeks.

This Week’s Prompt for You

Your activity for the week:

1. Fill Out Checklist Number 2

2. Choose your Re-Find location

3. Take Checklist 2 with you

4. Observe, journal, and let visuals refine your why

You may think you can’t plan or force inspiration. But when your heart is open and your intention is set, symbols will appear. Your why becomes easier to see when you give it a visual identity to lean on.

The first time I ever completed a full tidying marathon, I began on my birthday abroad (September 16, 2024), starting with writing down my intentions and carried through with the physical work when I got home until the New Year. Since you are looking to participate in this journey, I’m ready to assist you in kicking this off today, together. Not is Fall the perfect season for any kind of celebration, including a tidying marathon, but it is also the Tidy By Tor way. Instead of spring cleaning, we use the Fall equinox—when the nights grow longer than the days—to look inward, both literally and physically, at what is and is not serving us and at what is and is not bringing us joy.

What started as a project born from loss, and later shaped by the simple beauty of a clothesline, has grown into a lifestyle of consuming less, appreciating more, and surrounding myself only with what I truly love. I am excited to walk alongside you and witness you create the same in your own life.

This invitation is for a 16-week guided refresh of your home space, and I will be walking this journey with you week by week. Our shared intention is to create your conscious space, yet each of us will bring unique mental goals even as we take on the same physical tasks. That is why we begin with mental preparation.

Week 1 Reflection

The activity for this week was Identify Your Why.

When I first tidied years ago, my why became clear: create freedom to move.

That still rings true today.

The clothesline photo above has always been one of my abstract inspirations. It shows the freedom and honesty of letting the clothes we own simply be seen. For me, tidying is the same: facing what we carry, letting what no longer serves us go, and allowing space to breathe again.

As I reflect for this second round, I was surprised to find that my why is still anchored in that same mission:

• Movement in my spaces, being able to flow freely in my home

• Movement in life, having the freedom to shift geographically if life calls for it

Every item in our home either supports your mission or blocks it. Sit with your first draft or your brainstormed why for one week and we will return next week! No physical work just yet.

This Week’s Prompt for You:

After reflection on your own “Identify Your Why” activity…
👉 What became your why?

Drop it in the comments or journal it privately, but anchor it deep. You’ll return to this reason again and again over the next 16 weeks.

As a Tidy Tornado subscriber, you’re t-minus 55 days away from launching your own 16-Week Space Refresh. No need to fret yet. You can rest assured I’ll be sharing hygge balanced tips throughout our transformative indoor thru-hike. Naturally, this is personal and exploratory work, requiring you to harness fresh summer perspectives. So when it’s time to ask, “Does this item spark joy?”, you’ll have a vivid sense of your most alive and vibrant self to guide you. Until then, I’ll continue to answer questions each Tuesday, such as…

What does it really mean to assess if a belonging is “sparking joy”?

Some of my first apprehensive responses to this kind of work comes from the concern that we can’t just get rid of everything that doesn’t make us smile or give us the jitters. What about the practical stuff like your toolkit, coupons, or the important mementos that are painful but meaningful in your life experience? Look. I’m not going to reinvent the wheel, here. I highly recommend heading over to How to Gyst, who lays it out perfectly. In short:

1. “there is joy in usefulness too”

2. “prioritise by pitting things against each other”

3. “there’s a scale. start by putting back the absolute necessities”

4. especially if on a tight budget, “making do with what you have” can spark more joy than decluttering and doing without

Definitely check out the bottom of her read that mentions alternative and more specific ways to ask if something sparks joy. i.e. “Does this make my life better?”, “Does this fit with the life I’m trying to create?” and my favorite, “Am I willing to sacrifice space for this?”.

There are many ways to feel if something sparks joy and it’s different for everyone. The most important part is to learn from your body what joy feels like in you. If you don’t know that yet, you can establish that feeling by practicing with a few, random items in your home to see if you can feel what joy in an item shows you.

“When something sparks joy, you should feel a little thrill, as if the cells in your body are slowly rising.” — Marie Kondo

Questions to Support Your Sensitivity to What Sparks Joy

When we move through the journey of tidying, these simple, reflective questions can help guide our discernment:

• How long has this item been with me?

• When did I last use it or do I use it often?

• Is it still a part of the life I’m building now?

• Where do I notice, in my body, hesitation?

• If I’m honest with yourself, is it time to lovingly let this go?

These prompts help us listen more closely to what our body, intuition, and lived experience are telling us. And still, you might bump up against some familiar resistance. Often, it comes down to two core truths:

• We're holding on to the past.

• We're afraid of what it means to release something in the face of an unknown future.

Letting Go as a Learning Practice

Releasing an item doesn’t have to mean failure or waste. Think of it, instead, as a means of transformation, for you and gifting the item new life. What no longer fits in your life may find new life with someone/something else. And how we discard will be considered through environmentally conscious ways with Tidy By Tor preferred tools. Every object has a message. If you wore it out, it served you well. If you never reached for it, it taught you something, too. It’s not aligned with the person you're becoming.

Letting go becomes less about discarding and more about deepening your clarity. And this clarity, over time, shapes how you live.

Feeling daunted? That’s okay. We build confidence as we go. When we follow the rhythm in our booklet starting in September (Clothes, Books, Papers, Komono (miscellaneous), then Sentimental) we’ll grow our sensitivity to what feels true. When we arrive at the tougher categories, our inner compass will be ready.

Until next Tuesday, practice with a few items in your home. And share in the comments on how it went!