<script data-pm-proxy="intercept"></script><?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[The Effigism Letter]]></title><description><![CDATA[Information, updates, and conversations on the psychology of Effigism]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!xJ-G!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c54d31e-0dcb-49c5-88df-3dad002a4af3_500x500.png</url><title>The Effigism Letter</title><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Thu, 03 Sep 2026 00:00:20 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[toddberntson@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[toddberntson@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[toddberntson@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[toddberntson@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[Why Childhood Wounds Still Hurt Decades Later]]></title><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/why-childhood-wounds-still-hurt-decades</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/why-childhood-wounds-still-hurt-decades</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 20 Aug 2026 15:00:25 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/-LGTL8FT2EY" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="youtube2--LGTL8FT2EY" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;-LGTL8FT2EY&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/-LGTL8FT2EY?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Story Behind the Effigism Concept]]></title><description><![CDATA[After decades of struggling, I finally found a word to describe my experience.]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/the-story-behind-the-effigism-concept</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/the-story-behind-the-effigism-concept</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2026 12:39:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/UhG7X8ndjrU" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="youtube2-UhG7X8ndjrU" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;UhG7X8ndjrU&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/UhG7X8ndjrU?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What the Other Must Become]]></title><description><![CDATA[The Architecture of Proxy-Mediated Self-Regulation]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/what-the-other-must-become</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/what-the-other-must-become</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2026 20:59:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png" width="1456" height="819" 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/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LZuL!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc1a2d79b-e2f1-4c0c-a998-3eab51f02e9d_1672x941.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>This article identifies the larger relationship architecture that contains both effigism and narcissism, as well as two other relational patterns. Proxy-mediated self-regulation (PMSR) describes relationships in which one person&#8217;s sense of self (enactor) is stabilized and maintained through what another person (proxy) is coerced to be or do.</p><p><strong><span>Proxy-mediated self-regulation (PMSR) is a relationship architecture in which another person&#8217;s response, behavior, condition, or role becomes the direct source of a self-state the enactor cannot reliably maintain internally, and the relationship is organized around preserving that function.</span></strong></p><p>The architecture appears in four principal relationship organizations: narcissistic proxy regulation, effigism, destructive role reversal, and the caregiver-dependent organization found in Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another. Each organizes a proxy around a different regulatory function.</p><p>Seeing the broader architecture sharpens the position of effigism. Its central operation is contrastive: the proxy&#8217;s diminished condition produces the enactor&#8217;s experience of competence. Mapping the larger family makes that mechanism visible and distinguishes it from the other forms.</p><h2>The Organizing Question</h2><p>The architecture of PMSR is organized around one question:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><em>What must the other person become in order for the enactor to experience a coherent self?</em></p><p>The four forms answer it in different ways:</p><ul><li><p>You must admire me, so that I can feel important.</p></li><li><p>You must occupy a failed state, so that I can feel competent.</p></li><li><p>You must take care of me, so that I can feel held.</p></li><li><p>You must need me, so that I can feel necessary.</p></li></ul><p>Each form installs and maintains a response, condition, or relational position in the proxy because the corresponding self-state cannot be maintained reliably within the enactor. Importance, competence, being held, and being needed are produced externally, on loan, and must be repeatedly renewed.</p><p>Effigism requires the proxy to occupy a failed state so the enactor can feel competent. Its defining feature is contrastive derivation: competence is produced from an adverse condition imposed upon the proxy.</p><h2>Ordinary Reliance, and Where It Turns</h2><p>Proxy-mediated regulation begins as a normal feature of relational life.</p><p>Heinz Kohut described what he called selfobjects: other people experienced partly through the self-regulatory functions they provide - mirroring, idealization, and a sense of likeness or belonging. Human beings never outgrow all selfobject need. Maturity is not self-sufficiency. It is a movement from archaic, all-or-nothing dependence toward a flexible and reciprocal reliance on others that can last throughout life. To be steadied by a friend&#8217;s confidence, to feel more real when someone you love looks at you with pleasure, or to borrow a partner&#8217;s calm until your own returns are signs of relational life, not pathology.</p><p>In its neutral form, proxy-mediated self-regulation means that another person&#8217;s response, condition, or conduct contributes to one&#8217;s self-experience. It becomes restrictive when the relationship is organized around preserving that function at the proxy&#8217;s expense.</p><p>Restrictive proxy-mediated regulation has six defining features:</p><ul><li><p><span>T</span>he proxy&#8217;s role becomes rigid - a fixed position they are expected to hold;</p></li><li><p><span>T</span>he relationship becomes asymmetric, organized primarily around the enactor&#8217;s regulatory needs;</p></li><li><p><span>T</span>he enactor&#8217;s self-state becomes contingent upon the proxy&#8217;s position, so deviation produces destabilization;</p></li><li><p><span>T</span>he enactor acts to restore the position when the proxy departs from it;</p></li><li><p><span>T</span>he proxy pays a cost in autonomy, welfare, credibility, health, or development;</p></li><li><p><span>T</span>he proxy&#8217;s inner life is subordinated to the regulatory function - perceived but denied independent weight.</p></li></ul><p>Healthy proxy-mediated regulation leaves the other person free and becomes more mutual over time. Restrictive proxy-mediated regulation makes the other person less free so the enactor can remain briefly stable. Because the arrangement may feel like love, duty, protection, or ordinary need, its extractive structure can remain hidden.</p><h2>What Makes it Proxy-Mediation: <br>The Two Boundaries</h2><p>There are two essential boundaries that distinguish proxy-mediated self-regulation from other relationship organizations: 1) the proxy must be the source of the self-regulation, and 2) the self and the other must remain functionally distinct.</p><p>The first boundary is the proxy-source criterion. A sports fan may feel elevated when a team wins, and a parent may feel reflected pride through a child&#8217;s public success. In these cases, the apparent proxy may only create an occasion for validation supplied by an audience, institution, or community.</p><p>In proxy-mediated self-regulation, the self-state is produced directly through the proxy&#8217;s response, behavior, condition, or relational position. Admiration originates in the admirer. Effigistic competence is drawn from the proxy&#8217;s failed condition. Third parties may reinforce the arrangement, but they are not the primary regulatory source.</p><p>The second boundary is functional relational distinctness. In identification or merger, the other person is absorbed into the enactor&#8217;s identity: Your success is my success because you are an extension of me. In proxy-mediated regulation, the proxy remains relationally distinct enough to supply admiration, contrast, care, or dependency across the relationship.</p><p>Together, these boundaries separate proxy-mediated regulation from reflected glory and identification. Reflected glory uses the apparent proxy as a relay for validation from elsewhere. Identification absorbs the other person into the self.</p><p>People surrounding the enactor-proxy relationship can perform four different functions:</p><ul><li><p><strong>A regulatory proxy</strong> directly produces the enactor&#8217;s required self-state.</p></li><li><p><strong>A maintenance participant</strong> helps preserve the proxy&#8217;s assigned position or increases the cost of leaving it.</p></li><li><p><strong>A validating audience</strong> confirms the legitimacy, status, or social meaning of the arrangement.</p></li><li><p><strong>An intermediary object</strong> creates an occasion through which someone else supplies the regulation.</p></li></ul><p>These functions can overlap. In institutional effigism, coworkers or supervisors may reinforce the failed-state narrative while the designated proxy remains the source of contrastive regulation.</p><h2>The Recursive Contingency</h2><p>Proxy-mediated regulation follows a recurring sequence:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><em>Proxy role -&gt; enactor self-state -&gt; role-deviation threat -&gt; role-restoration behavior -&gt; relief and reinforcement</em></p><p>The proxy occupies the required role and produces the needed self-state. When the proxy acts independently and leaves the role, the enactor destabilizes and attempts to restore the arrangement. Relief reinforces the cycle.</p><p>Role restoration may take the form of reassurance demands, guilt induction, criticism, discouragement, devaluation, pathologizing, withdrawal, intimidation, manufactured crises, symptom escalation, recruitment of allies, or replacement of the proxy. The behavior targets the proxy function that has been disrupted.</p><h2>How the Proxy Makes the Self-State</h2><p>The forms differ primarily in how the proxy&#8217;s contribution generates the enactor&#8217;s self-state. This is the generative mechanism.</p><p><strong>Reflected self-confirmation.</strong> The proxy&#8217;s response tells the enactor what they are and helps sustain that experience. The child feels real under a caregiver&#8217;s delighted gaze; the adult feels important under an admirer&#8217;s attention. Mirroring delivers both message and regulation, producing the felt experience of importance, significance, or vitality. This is the established mechanism at the center of narcissistic selfobject regulation.</p><p><strong>Direct regulatory provision.</strong> The proxy supplies an actual regulatory service the enactor cannot perform adequately alone: soothing, containment, reassurance, companionship, or the metabolizing of distress. The enactor is not necessarily drawing a conclusion about personal worth from the proxy&#8217;s behavior; the enactor is directly receiving care. A partner repeatedly talked down from panic is being regulated by someone doing the regulating for them.</p><p><strong>Contrastive derivation.</strong> The proxy&#8217;s condition becomes the evidence from which the enactor derives a favorable self-state by comparison. Nothing has to be handed over. The proxy need not admire, reassure, or cooperate. The proxy must remain diminished, and from that condition the enactor derives relative competence and protection from exposure. This is the defining mechanism of effigism and the architecture&#8217;s most distinctive operation.</p><p><strong>Dependency-constituted complementarity.</strong> The proxy&#8217;s dependency constitutes a reciprocal identity for the enactor. To be indispensable is to be indispensable to someone. In the caregiver-dependent architecture of FDIA, maintained dependency sustains the enactor&#8217;s position as necessary caregiver.</p><p>Two additional coordinates complete the architecture. Role-action direction identifies who performs the defining relational act. The regulated self-state identifies what the enactor needs to experience: importance, competence, being held, or being needed. The proxy role - admirer, failed-state proxy, caregiver, or dependent - emerges from the mechanism and self-state.</p><p>The mechanisms can overlap. Narcissistic mirroring also regulates emotion. Role reversal also creates complementary positions. Effigism can evacuate defectiveness into the proxy while producing competence from the resulting contrast. Each form is defined by its primary structural configuration.</p><h1>The Forms of Proxy-Mediated Self-Regulation (PMSR)</h1><p><strong>Narcissistic proxy regulation</strong> uses reflected self-confirmation. Admiration flows from proxy to enactor and produces importance or value. When the proxy criticizes, individuates, sets a limit, or withdraws admiration, the enactor attempts to restore the mirroring function.</p><p><strong>Effigism</strong> uses contrastive derivation. The enactor organizes the proxy into a failed state and derives competence and protection from exposure from that condition. The proxy&#8217;s diminishment is the regulatory source.</p><p><strong>Destructive role reversal</strong> uses direct regulatory provision. Care flows from proxy to enactor and produces the experience of being nurtured or held. The proxy becomes a confidant, emotional manager, mediator, rescuer, or functional parent. The parentification literature describes children recruited through expectation, dependency, or invisible loyalty into developmentally inappropriate caregiving roles.</p><p><strong>The caregiver-dependent architecture of FDIA</strong> uses dependency-constituted complementarity. Care flows from enactor to proxy while the proxy&#8217;s need for that care is maintained. The dependent condition produces the enactor&#8217;s position as necessary, uniquely knowledgeable, or indispensable. This reverses role reversal: the role-reversed enactor occupies the cared-for position, while the FDIA enactor occupies the indispensable caregiver position. Deception, falsification, and the induction or exaggeration of illness are the behaviors through which this architecture is enacted in FDIA.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png" width="1456" height="524" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:524,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:249651,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://toddberntson.substack.com/i/208743858?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CjuO!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F38f0afe3-d6cf-4d79-bfcf-5da16210733e_2580x928.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div>
      <p>
          <a href="/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/p/what-the-other-must-become">
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   ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Effigism: Proxy Maintenance and Proxy Attack]]></title><description><![CDATA[How Effigists Keep You Stuck in a Failed State]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-proxy-maintenance-and-proxy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-proxy-maintenance-and-proxy</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 25 Jul 2026 12:47:51 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/dBVDpg1AyS4" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="youtube2-dBVDpg1AyS4" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;dBVDpg1AyS4&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/dBVDpg1AyS4?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Institutional Effigism]]></title><description><![CDATA[How an organization can quietly build itself around keeping one person in a failed role]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/institutional-effigism</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/institutional-effigism</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 25 Jul 2026 07:29:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png" width="1456" height="819" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:819,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2214658,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://toddberntson.substack.com/i/208424229?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6wrw!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85b7c24a-1711-4377-8e3b-dc66c3d6f7c8_1672x941.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><span>Let me tell you about a woman I&#8217;ll call Elena, though she is really a composite of people I have watched move through the same strange position again and again.</span></p><p><span>Elena was hired into a role that, on paper, was perfectly ordinary. Executive assistant, project coordinator, associate director &#8212; the exact title doesn&#8217;t matter much. The job description was reasonable. The expectations seemed clear. And Elena was, by every measure that mattered on the day she was hired, more than capable of doing it. She was smart and experienced, and her new manager spoke about her with real enthusiasm. He said he was relieved to finally have the right person in the seat.</span></p><p><span>For the first few months, everything looked fine.</span></p><p><span>Then something began to shift, so slowly that no one could point to the day it started. Elena began to look tired. She started asking her coworkers small, uneasy questions. </span><em><span>Did he tell you the meeting was at ten? Were you copied on that email? Do you remember her saying she wanted the report done this way?</span></em><span> The confidence she had walked in with started to thin out.</span></p><p><span>The feedback she received was constant, and yet somehow she could never act on it. She was told to show more initiative, and then criticized for acting without permission. She was told to take ownership, and then watched her decisions get quietly reversed. Instructions changed between one conversation and the next. Things she was sure had been said were later remembered differently. Her successes were noted briefly and moved past; her mistakes were examined in remarkable detail.</span></p><p><span>Eventually, Elena began to struggle in earnest. And when she did, everyone around her seemed to nod at once.</span></p><p><em><span>Here we go again. Another one who couldn&#8217;t handle the job.</span></em></p><p><span>Because Elena, it turned out, was not the first. The person before her had lasted eighteen months. The one before that, a year. Someone else had made it six months and then resigned without much explanation. Every departure came with the same short list of reasons. They couldn&#8217;t keep up. They couldn&#8217;t take feedback. They got defensive. They just weren&#8217;t the right fit.</span></p><p><span>So the seat opened again, and someone new and hopeful and competent walked into it, and the whole thing began once more.</span></p><p><span>I want to ask a question that most organizations never think to ask.</span></p><p><span>What if the problem was never the employee? What if the organization had, without quite meaning to, created a role that somebody needed to fail in?</span></p><h3><strong><span>When another person&#8217;s failure becomes useful</span></strong></h3><p><span>A while ago I proposed the term </span><strong><span>effigism</span></strong><span> to describe a particular pattern of emotional cruelty. It is a relational construct, not a diagnosis, and it is still new enough that I hold it carefully. But the core of it is simple. Effigism is what happens when a person manages a deeply disowned wound in themselves by keeping someone else in a diminished, dependent, discredited, or failed position.</span></p><p><span>The easiest way to understand it is to set it beside narcissism, which most of us already have a feel for.</span></p><p><span>A narcissistically organized person tends to need others as a mirror. </span><em><span>You admire me, so I feel important. You recognize how brilliant I am, so I get to feel brilliant. You treat me as special, so I remain special.</span></em><span> Their sense of themselves is propped up by what other people reflect back. I think of this as status by reflection.</span></p><p><span>Effigism runs the other direction. The effigistically organized person does not necessarily need you to admire them. What they need is for you to fail. If you are confused, they get to stay the one who understands. If you are incompetent, they remain competent by comparison. If you are unsteady, they are, by contrast, the reasonable one in the room. And if you are always the one making mistakes, then no one ever looks too closely at theirs. I think of this as status by contrast.</span></p><p><span>In the language of the model, the other person becomes a </span><strong><span>proxy</span></strong><span>. Their low position in the relationship does a job: it protects the enactor from feeling something intolerable about themselves. Underneath a narcissistic wound is usually a fear that one&#8217;s worth is only ever conditional. Underneath an effigistic wound is something harsher &#8212; a private verdict of being fundamentally, unfixably defective, and a terror of that verdict being seen. So the arrangement is not really </span><em><span>I don&#8217;t like you.</span></em><span> It is closer to </span><em><span>I need you to stay the failed one, so that I never have to meet the failure I most fear in myself.</span></em></p><p><span>This can be devastating inside a family or a marriage. What I have come to suspect is that it can also settle into an organization.</span></p><h3><strong><span>The role that is designed to be failed</span></strong></h3><p><span>Here is what makes the workplace version so strange. The proxy doesn&#8217;t have to be a particular person. Sometimes the proxy is a </span><em><span>role</span></em><span>.</span></p><p><span>Think about the executive who has gone through eight assistants in ten years. Maybe he has simply been unlucky eight times in a row. Or maybe the position itself has become organized around the idea of the incompetent assistant. The person keeps changing. The role stays exactly where it is.</span></p><p><span>Each new hire arrives with her own history, her own competence, her own personality. And over time, she is drawn into the same shape as everyone before her. She becomes the one who misunderstands, the one who forgets, the one who needs correcting, the one who can&#8217;t quite keep up.</span></p><p><span>This rarely happens through shouting or open harassment. It is usually most effective when it is quiet. </span><em><span>I&#8217;m surprised you didn&#8217;t know that. I thought I was clear. We&#8217;ve talked about this before. You&#8217;ve seemed a little overwhelmed lately.</span></em><span> Any one of those sentences could be perfectly appropriate in a healthy workplace on a normal day. That is exactly what makes the pattern so hard to see. Emotional cruelty is not always built out of dramatic events. Sometimes it is built out of thousands of tiny interactions, each one small enough to be deniable &#8212; a vague criticism, a contradictory instruction, an exaggerated sigh, a piece of information that somehow never gets passed along, a private word to someone else about your judgment. No single one of them proves anything. Together, over months, they assemble a failed state around a person who walked in whole.</span></p>
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      </p>
   ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Difference between Effigism and Narcissism]]></title><description><![CDATA[Effigism and Narcissism are not the same. They serve different functions.]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/the-difference-between-effigism-and</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/the-difference-between-effigism-and</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2026 13:18:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/soiQjV2k32s" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="youtube2-soiQjV2k32s" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;soiQjV2k32s&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/soiQjV2k32s?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Effigism: A Proxy-Mediated Self-Regulation Model of Emotional Cruelty]]></title><description><![CDATA[Preprint manuscript. This manuscript was submitted to New Ideas in Psychology on July 5, 2026. It has not yet been peer reviewed, accepted, or published, and may differ from a final published version.]]></description><link>https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-a-proxy-mediated-self-regulation</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-a-proxy-mediated-self-regulation</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Todd Berntson]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2026 12:49:38 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/196d28b3-da87-4c3b-8b30-165609ae41c3_2064x1670.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-a-proxy-mediated-self-regulation?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/p/effigism-a-proxy-mediated-self-regulation?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><h2>Abstract</h2><p>This article proposes effigism as a construct for a specific pattern of emotional cruelty understood as a proxy-mediated self-regulation strategy. In effigism, a person who cannot tolerate the threatened exposure of a disowned wound to self-definition organizes another person into a relational position that protects the self from shame, humiliation, or failed-state exposure. The proxy is not merely a substitute target for aggression but a regulatory figure: by remaining diminished, dependent, discredited, or failed, the proxy allows the enactor to remain competent, superior, knowing, judging, intact, and unexposed. Effigism is conceptually adjacent to pathological narcissism: both use another person to stabilize a threatened self-state, but narcissism relies mainly on reflected status, whereas effigism relies on contrastive status. The pattern operates through proxy maintenance, the chronic undermining that keeps the proxy in the failed position, and proxy attack, the acute response to role rupture when the proxy&#8217;s competence, agency, credibility, need, or separateness acquires exposing power. Relief follows through threat-offset and role restoration. Within attachment relationships, especially in childhood, the relational failed position may become an internalized failed-state: a constricted organization of identity, value, agency, credibility, and differentiation. The article specifies the proposed mechanism, differentiates effigism from adjacent constructs and abuse tactics, and outlines clinical implications, limitations, and directions for empirical study.</p><p><strong>Keywords:</strong> effigism, proxy-mediated self-regulation, shame, emotional cruelty, narcissism, contrastive status, failed-state</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://toddberntson.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">The Effigism Letter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><p><a href="https://drtodd.com/Effigism%20Paper%20Preprint.pdf"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Dowload PDF Version</span></a></p><h2>1. Introduction</h2><p>The psychological literature describes the person who stabilizes a fragile self-concept by recruiting others to admire, affirm, or confirm them: the narcissistic individual (Kernberg, 1984; Kohut, 1971). Contemporary models of narcissism have further described it as a self-regulatory system organized around status pursuit, self-enhancement, recognition, and the management of grandiose and vulnerable self-states (Back et al., 2013; Grapsas et al., 2020; Krizan &amp; Herlache, 2018; Morf &amp; Rhodewalt, 2001; Weinberg &amp; Ronningstam, 2022). In the narcissistic configuration, others function as stabilizing proxies: mirrors whose admiration, deference, desire, or confirmation helps regulate the individual&#8217;s sense of self. Stated more succinctly, narcissism elevates and stabilizes the enactor through reflected status.</p><p><span>This paper argues that there is a related but distinct configuration that has, to date, remained underspecified: namely, the person who manages threatened shame exposure not by recruiting another as an admiring mirror, but by positioning another in a lowered role that protects the self from humiliating exposure. In this configuration, the proxy serves a regulatory function: its diminished, dependent, or failed position allows the enactor to occupy the contrasting position of competence, superiority, authority, and credibility. The enactor is elevated and stabilized through contrastive status rather than the reflected status of narcissism. The reflected-status versus contrastive-status distinction not only differentiates the proxy role in these two constructs; it also implies the likely mechanism of self-concept injury to the proxy. In narcissistic relating, the proxy is wounded primarily through instrumental deprivation: the child or partner is valued insofar as they mirror, admire, or confirm the enactor, and is deprived of recognition as a separate subject. In this other pattern of relating, the proxy is wounded primarily through hostile degradation: the child or partner is maintained in, or returned to, a diminished, dependent, discredited, or failed position that elevates the enactor by contrast.</span></p><p>The term effigism is offered here to name this configuration. Effigism defines a relational structure in which an individual (the proxy) is positioned in a diminished state so that another individual (the enactor) can stabilize a fragile self-concept and avoid humiliating exposure. In an effigistic relationship, the proxy is positioned through two related operations: proxy maintenance and proxy attack. Proxy maintenance is the process by which the enactor keeps the proxy in a non-exposing or failed position through mockery, dismissiveness, discouragement, withholding, subtle sabotage, or attacks on competence, agency, value, credibility, or individuality. Proxy attack is the acute response when the proxy threatens to leave that subordinate position or fails in its stabilizing role; it may include more extreme forms of the same diminishing behaviors used in proxy maintenance. Fragments of this pattern have appeared in descriptions of projective identification, family scapegoating, and identification with the aggressor (A. Freud, 1936; Bowen, 1978; Ferenczi, 1933/1949; Klein, 1946; Ogden, 1979; Perera, 1986). However, these previous models have not positioned these phenomena within a larger relational self-regulation system in its own right, specified its mechanism, distinguished reflected-status and contrastive-status forms of proxy regulation, or differentiated it from adjacent phenomena.</p><p>The aim of this article is to carve out conceptual space for this new construct by defining effigism, situating it within the broader family of proxy-mediated self-regulation strategies, specifying its mechanism, distinguishing it from related constructs, and identifying its clinical and empirical implications. If successful, the construct may provide two contributions: first, it may provide clinicians and researchers with a conceptual framework for a behavioral pattern that has previously been described only partially; second, it may provide individuals who have lived in the proxy position with a framework for making sense of their experience and help them relocate the source of internalized shame from their own identity to the relational system that produced it.</p><h2>2. Effigism: Definition</h2><p><span>Effigism is a recurrent, proxy-mediated self-regulation strategy in which an enactor manages threatened shame exposure by maintaining or returning a proxy to a diminished, dependent, discredited, or failed state, thereby elevating the enactor through contrastive status as competent, superior, knowing, intact, and unexposed. The proxy is not merely a substitute target for aggression or a symbolic container of shame. They are an integral part of the enactor&#8217;s strategy for regulating the distress associated with disowned shame and maintaining a protected sense of self. The effigistic relationship appears as both a chronic orientation and an acute sequence that can be observed in the enactor behaviors of proxy maintenance and proxy attack introduced earlier. Before proceeding further, it may be helpful to define these terms more specifically, as well as the concept of &#8220;failed state&#8221; that defines the proxy role.</span></p><p><strong>Proxy Maintenance.</strong> <span>Proxy maintenance is the chronic process by which the enactor keeps the proxy in a non-exposing or failed position through mockery, dismissiveness, discouragement, contemptuous humor, withholding of support, minimization, or subtle sabotage. Proxy maintenance may appear in the form of realism, joking, correction, concern, or instruction, but there is often a palpable undertone of shame that serves to further undermine the proxy&#8217;s sense of self under the guise of being supportive. This diminishment of the proxy individual is the default effigistic regulatory pattern between enactor and proxy and may organize around a reenactment of childhood attachment injury</span>.</p><p><strong>Proxy Attack.</strong> Proxy attack is the acute response that occurs when the proxy violates the role boundary by showing competence, independence, credibility, agency, need, refusal, or differentiation in a way that threatens humiliating exposure or the stability of the enactor&#8217;s elevated status. The attack serves to diminish the proxy&#8217;s credibility, dignity, agency, or authority to define reality. The proxy is not attacked simply because the proxy symbolizes the enactor&#8217;s pain. Rather, the proxy must remain in a non-exposing or failed position so the enactor does not have to encounter feared inadequacy, defectiveness, dependency, or failure.</p><p><strong>Failed-State.</strong> <span>The term failed-state is used in two related ways. First, it refers to the relational position assigned to the proxy within the enactor&#8217;s self-regulatory system: the position of the dependent, defective, discredited, incompetent, unstable, diminished, or failed one. Second, it refers to an internalized self-organization in the recipient, especially within attachment relationships, in which identity, value, agency, credibility, or differentiation becomes constricted around the assigned position of failure. So, failed-state may simultaneously refer to the external proxy position and the internal proxy experience.</span></p><p><span>The harming power of effigism is most pronounced within attachment relationships, particularly parent-child relationships, because the dependent child is bonded to the caregiver, unable to leave, and developmentally compelled to organize identity around the caregiver&#8217;s appraisals. If the child is repeatedly maintained in, or returned to, the failed position, the child may not merely believe they have failed in a behavioral sense, but may internalize a sense of being defective, incompetent, disoriented, and unworthy. Effigism thus may organize the proxy&#8217;s developing self around the failed position the enactor requires.</span></p><p><span>Three features separate effigism from the way such cruelty is usually theorized. First, effigism is not a discrete defense mechanism operating on a particular piece of content; it is a largely non-conscious relational strategy for regulating threatened humiliating self-exposure through the position assigned to a proxy. Second, effigism is not attachment-exclusive. However, its greatest harm tends to be within attachment relationships due to the close proximity and inescapability of the proxy. Third, effigism operates largely without insight. The enactor does not experience themselves as maintaining a proxy to manage shame exposure and elevate the self; they experience the proxy as the problem</span>.</p><h3>2.1 Boundary Conditions: What Counts as Effigism</h3><p><span>Not every episode of anger, contempt, harshness, criticism, or displaced aggression is effigistic. The term is best reserved for a recurrent relational strategy in which several features converge: an unrecognized wound to self-definition; a proxy assigned or drawn into a stabilizing role; elevation of the enactor through contrastive status; threat when the proxy shows competence, agency, separateness, need, disappointment, refusal, or credibility; proxy maintenance or proxy attack; relief through threat-offset and role-restoration; recurrence or characterological reliance; and, in attachment relationships, possible internalization of the failed position as self-organization.</span></p><p><span>Effigism is therefore not established by the recipient&#8217;s hurt alone, nor by the enactor&#8217;s contempt alone, but by the patterned conjunction of these features. Occasional kindness or caretaking by the enactor does not rule it out. If care is available when the proxy is failed, dependent, apologetic, or safely beneath the enactor, but hostility emerges when the proxy becomes competent, credible, separate, or self-defining, the pattern may reflect effigistic regulation. The defining question is not simply, &#8220;Was the behavior cruel?&#8221; but, &#8220;Was the proxy needed in a failed or diminished position so the enactor could remain competent, superior, intact, and unexposed</span>?&#8221;</p><h2>3. The Genus: Proxy-Mediated Self-Regulation</h2><p>Effigism is proposed as one member of a broader family of proxy-mediated self-regulation strategies: relational strategies in which a person manages a fragile or threatened sense of self through a proxy whose position alters the enactor&#8217;s self-state. Five features define this family. First, the pattern is a recurrent strategy rather than a single act. Second, its source is an unrecognized wound or instability in self-definition. Third, it operates through a proxy whose relational position regulates the enactor&#8217;s sense of self. Fourth, the enactor lacks insight into the internal origin of the distress. Fifth, the pattern is negatively reinforced because the proxy-mediated regulation produces relief.</p><p>These strategies are plausibly attachment-derived and attachment-amplified, though not attachment-exclusive. Their origins may lie in early relational injuries organized around shame, defectiveness, contingent worth, failed recognition, or humiliating exposure. Their most damaging expressions occur in attachment relationships, where the recipient&#8217;s sense of self is most open to being shaped by the enactor. Yet the proxy structure can generalize to coworkers, subordinates, strangers, out-groups, institutions, roles, or symbolic proxies when these approximate attachment-relevant conditions of dependency, evaluation, hierarchy, recognizability, or threat to self-definition.</p><p>This article uses pathological narcissism as the closest comparison point. Both patterns involve proxy-mediated self-regulation, but they use the proxy differently: narcissism organizes the proxy as a mirror of reflected status, whereas effigism organizes the proxy as a contrast figure whose lowered position protects the enactor from exposure. The comparison is used to clarify effigism, not to resolve the full relationship between the two patterns.</p><h2>4. The Mechanism of Effigism</h2><p>Effigism is conceptualized as having eight elements: 1) the wound, 2) the humiliating gaze, 3) the proxy role, 4) proxy maintenance, 5) exposure threat, 6) exposure panic, 7) proxy attack, and 8) relief. Each element serves a specific role in establishing and maintaining the effigistic relational pattern. Together, they define a proxy-mediated system of shame regulation in which the enactor avoids exposure by positioning another person as the failed one.</p><p>This framing is consistent with process accounts of narcissism as an interpersonal system of motivated self-construction (Morf &amp; Rhodewalt, 2001) and with models of narcissistic status regulation (Back et al., 2013; Grapsas et al., 2020). Like those models, effigism is treated not as a single behavior, but as a recurring sequence involving vulnerability, threat appraisal, interpersonal positioning, defensive action, and short-term relief. The difference is the relational solution. Narcissism commonly seeks elevation through admiration, mirroring, status protection, or rivalry; effigism seeks protection through contrast by keeping another person in the lowered position the enactor cannot bear to occupy.</p><p>These elements are presented as a prototypic mechanism rather than a rigid stage model. In practice, the sequence may vary in intensity, duration, consciousness, and behavioral expression. Proxy maintenance may remain chronic and low-grade, role rupture may be precipitated by the proxy or by unrelated stressors, and attack behaviors may be directed toward others who temporarily acquire exposing power. What defines effigism is not the fixed order of every element, but the recurring regulatory pattern by which the enactor avoids exposure by maintaining or restoring another person to a diminished, failed, or discredited position.</p><h3>4.1 The Wound</h3><p>The wound that effigism attempts to manage is an injury to the self-concept organized around shame, defectiveness, humiliation, incompetence, or failure. The wound may not be recognized or affectively experienced directly by the enactor. Instead, what reaches awareness is contempt, threat, pain, or exposure panic without an explanatory anchor. Effigism therefore occupies the territory of shame-based self-regulation but differs in relational form. In a self-critical organization, badness is attacked within the self. In narcissistic organization, badness may be managed through elevating mirroring. In effigism, badness is managed through contrast: the proxy is held in a failed position so the enactor can remain comparatively intact.</p><h3>4.2 The Humiliating Gaze</h3><p>The humiliating gaze is a contempt-based orientation of perception through which the enactor scans for defect, weakness, dependency, incompetence, or wrongness in others. It is expressed through mockery, judgment, correction, criticism, or dismissal. This gaze is understood as a projection-shaped threat appraisal arising from disowned woundedness: the enactor relocates the felt source of shame or failure onto another person and then experiences that person as defective, ridiculous, or exposing. Its intensity may increase when the enactor feels unstable, criticized, dependent, or at risk of humiliation, and may recede when the enactor&#8217;s sense of self feels secure, elevated, or protected from exposure.</p><h3>4.3 The Proxy Role</h3><p>The proxy is a regulatory figure whose relational position stabilizes the enactor&#8217;s self-definition. A person becomes a proxy not because they caused the enactor&#8217;s wound, but because they can make the enactor feel protected or exposed. In effigism, the proxy protects the enactor by staying lower, dependent, discredited, or failed. This is why effigism is more than simple projection. The proxy is not important only because they carry the enactor&#8217;s shame; the proxy&#8217;s diminished position lets the enactor avoid feeling like the failed one. When the proxy becomes competent, separate, credible, or agentic, the proxy may feel exposing and therefore threatening.</p><h3>4.4 Proxy Maintenance and the Relational Failed-State</h3><p>Proxy maintenance refers to the ongoing relational processes by which the enactor keeps the proxy organized in a failed-state. It often appears as a chronic, low-grade atmosphere of condescension, correction, dismissal, ridicule, contempt, or invalidation that gradually undermines the proxy&#8217;s confidence, agency, and self-trust. This process overlaps with projective identification, in which disowned self-states are located in another person, who is then pressured to feel or enact them (Klein, 1946; Ogden, 1979). Effigism differs, however, in function and scope: the proxy is not only made to carry failure, but is maintained in a failed relational position that preserves the enactor as competent, superior, and unexposed.</p><h3>4.5 Exposure Threat as Role Rupture</h3><p>Role rupture occurs when the proxy-enactor arrangement no longer adequately protects the enactor from feared exposure. This may be triggered by the proxy&#8217;s criticism, refusal, need, competence, credibility, autonomy, or growth, but it may also arise from unrelated stressors that make the proxy&#8217;s lowered position insufficient to stabilize the enactor. Because both proxy and enactor are developing persons, the arrangement is inherently unstable: the proxy&#8217;s movement toward agency and self-mastery continually presses against the boundaries of the constrained failed-state. For the enactor, such movement is not experienced merely as frustration but as exposure threat&#8212;an implicit revelation of inadequacy, dependence, inferiority, or not-knowing.</p><h3>4.6 Exposure Panic</h3><p>Exposure panic is an overwhelming internal stress response triggered when the enactor fears that inadequacy, dependence, or failure will be revealed and the enactor humiliated. It often occurs when someone in a subordinate or proxy position disrupts the enactor&#8217;s elevated self-position through criticism, refusal, need, competence, autonomy, or credibility. The enactor may experience this not as ordinary frustration but as sudden exposure, status reversal, or relational betrayal. The resulting behaviors may include outrage, contempt, mockery, cruelty, or mean-spirited attack aimed at neutralizing the perceived offender. The severity of exposure panic is often proportional to the significance of the relationship, becoming most intense in attachment relationships and attenuated in less central relational contexts.</p><h3>4.7 Proxy Attack</h3><p>Proxy attack occurs when role rupture makes the proxy an exposing agent and proxy maintenance no longer restores the stabilizing arrangement. The attack may include mockery, humiliation, contempt, repudiation, punishment, sabotage, control, exclusion, or symbolic destruction. Although most pronounced in proxy or attachment relationships, similar attacks may be directed at any person whose position or statement threatens to expose the enactor&#8217;s incompetence or inadequacy. Through the attack, the enactor neutralizes threatened exposure by reducing the proxy&#8217;s credibility, dignity, agency, or power to define reality. The attack is therefore not only emotional but reality-defining: if the proxy can be made to look foolish, unstable, weak, incompetent, or unworthy of credibility, then the proxy has less power to define what is happening.</p><h3>4.8 Relief, Reinforcement, and the Full Sequence</h3><p>Once the exposure threat is shut down by diminishing the proxy, the enactor may experience a sense of restoration and relief. This relief has two components. The first is threat-offset: the proxy&#8217;s apparent power to reveal the wound is reduced, and the emerging danger of exposure recedes. The second is role restoration through reversal: the enactor is no longer the one threatened with humiliation but the one who exposes, mocks, judges, or defines, while the proxy is returned to the diminished position. This helps explain why proxy attack often takes the form of mockery rather than neutral correction. The goal is not simply to solve a problem but to reverse the humiliating position.</p><p>This sequence likely accounts for effigism&#8217;s chronicity. Research on catharsis finds that venting does not reliably reduce anger and may increase it (Bushman, 2002), but negative reinforcement operates on short-term contingency: a behavior may fail to resolve underlying distress yet persist because it produces immediate threat-offset. Effigism is therefore not simply shame turned outward, nor a symbolic attack on shame in another, but emotional cruelty organized through a proxy-mediated system in which the enactor avoids becoming the exposed one by maintaining or returning the proxy to the failed position.</p><h3>4.9 Composite Illustration</h3><p>Consider a composite illustration, with details altered. Marcus, an accomplished senior academic, privately fears that others will discover how little he truly knows. This is the disowned wound. His ordinary stance carries the humiliating gaze: rivals are &#8220;fools,&#8221; their work &#8220;nonsense,&#8221; and disagreement is treated as evidence of ignorance. He can be generous with deferential students because their dependence confirms his mastery and leaves him unexposed. His adult son occupies a more consequential proxy role. When uncertain or deferential, the son stabilizes Marcus as the competent one; when independent or discerning, he destabilizes the arrangement.</p><p>One afternoon, the son asks what Marcus thinks of a paper he found interesting. Marcus, who has not read it, dismisses the author as a &#8220;laughingstock.&#8221; When the son asks for a more considered reply, Marcus snaps, &#8220;I think for a living. If you want to see someone who doesn&#8217;t think, look in the mirror.&#8221; The son&#8217;s initial mild disappointment has become a role rupture: he is no longer the deferential proxy but a credible observer whose judgment could expose Marcus&#8217;s feared inadequacy. By attacking the son&#8217;s capacity to judge him, Marcus reduces the son&#8217;s exposing power, restores himself to the position of the one who knows, and returns the son to the failed position.</p><p>Having specified effigism&#8217;s mechanism, pathological narcissism can serve as a focused comparison. The goal here is limited: to clarify effigism by contrasting the role of the proxy in each pattern. Questions about co-occurrence, sequencing, or mixed presentations are beyond the scope of this article.</p><p>Contemporary models describe narcissism as a dynamic self-regulatory process organized around status pursuit, self-enhancement, recognition, and the management of grandiose and vulnerable self-states, with admiration and rivalry as self-enhancement and self-protection pathways (Back et al., 2013; Grapsas et al., 2020; Krizan &amp; Herlache, 2018; Mahadevan, 2024; Morf &amp; Rhodewalt, 2001; Weinberg &amp; Ronningstam, 2022). In proxy-mediated terms, narcissism uses the other as a mirror. The proxy stabilizes the enactor by reflecting admiration, deference, desirability, success, status, or approval. When that mirroring fails, hostility may serve to restore recognition or replace the mirror.</p><p>Effigism uses the proxy differently. The proxy is not valued primarily for admiration but for contrast. By occupying a diminished, dependent, discredited, or failed position, the proxy allows the enactor to remain competent, superior, knowing, intact, and unexposed. When the proxy becomes competent, credible, separate, needing, refusing, or self-defining, the threat is not merely loss of admiration. It is exposure: the proxy now has the power to reveal the vulnerability, inadequacy, or failure the enactor is trying not to feel.</p><p>Thus, the difference is not simply that narcissism recruits while effigism attacks. Both can recruit, pressure, mock, devalue, control, or retaliate. The difference is what the proxy is made to do. In narcissism, the proxy carries the power of recognition: &#8220;You make me important.&#8221; In effigism, the proxy carries the power of non-exposure: &#8220;As long as you stay beneath me, I do not have to be the failed one.&#8221;</p><p>This difference also helps explain why narcissistic and effigistic proxies may differ in attachment relationships. Narcissistic proxies can be relatively mobile because reflected status can be drawn from many sources: partners, children, audiences, followers, institutions, achievements, and professional affiliations. Effigistic proxies require more durable access because the lowered position has to be maintained. For that reason, effigistic proxying is likely to be most damaging in low-exit relationships, especially parent-child and spouse/partner relationships, where dependency, attachment, shared life structure, or practical constraint makes walking away difficult.</p><p>The two patterns also suggest different attachment injuries. In narcissistic relating, the child or partner may be used instrumentally as a mirror and deprived of recognition as a separate person (Assor &amp; Tal, 2012; Brummelman et al., 2015; Brummelman &amp; Sedikides, 2020; Gao et al., 2024). In effigistic relating, the child or partner may be actively degraded, doubted, mocked, or kept unsure of themselves so the enactor can remain superior and unexposed. Both can harm self-worth, but they harm it through different relational assignments: one says, &#8220;Reflect me&#8221;; the other says, &#8220;Remain below me.&#8221;</p><p>Blatt&#8217;s (2008) two-polarities model helps locate both patterns within disturbances of self-definition (Blatt &amp; Shichman, 1983). Narcissism manages compromised self-definition through reflected status; effigism manages compromised self-definition through contrastive status. The present article does not attempt to determine whether the two commonly co-occur, alternate, or arise from shared developmental vulnerabilities. Its narrower aim is to establish effigism as a distinct proxy-mediated pattern.</p><p>One possible objection is that effigism is only narcissistic rivalry toward a subordinate. The behaviors can look similar&#8212;contempt, devaluation, retaliation&#8212;but the relief differs. Narcissistic rivalry seeks restored superiority within a field of recognition; effigism seeks non-exposure by stripping the proxy of credibility. The goal is less to win a comparison than to make sure the proxy can no longer reveal the wound.</p><p>Table 1 summarizes these two proxy-mediated self-regulation strategies.</p><p><strong>Table 1</strong></p><p><em>Two Proxy-Mediated Self-Regulation Strategies</em></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png" width="1404" height="1632" 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/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iMIU!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fda6faebb-d5b8-43fa-b8e9-a56d86f420e8_1404x1632.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2>6. Proximity, Escapability, and the Scaling of Harm</h2><p>Proxy harm increases with two factors: proximity and escapability. Proximity refers to the proxy&#8217;s emotional, relational, developmental, hierarchical, or symbolic closeness to the enactor. Escapability refers to the proxy&#8217;s ability to leave, resist, reinterpret, or refuse the assigned role. Close proximity makes the enactor&#8217;s behavior more powerful; low escapability keeps the proxy exposed to that behavior and limits the ability to push back. The closer the proxy is, and the harder it is for the proxy to leave or refuse the role, the more damaging the effigistic system becomes.</p><p>These dimensions also clarify why effigistic proxies are usually different from narcissistic mirrors. Narcissistic regulation can draw status from relatively mobile sources: audiences, institutions, admirers, professional success, or a child&#8217;s achievement. Effigism needs a more durable arrangement because the proxy must remain available to be kept in, or returned to, the lowered position. A casual target may be attacked when they trigger exposure panic, but a full effigistic proxy is more likely in relationships where exit is difficult or costly. Children, spouses, dependent family members, and other low-exit relationships are therefore the clearest sites of proxy maintenance. Employees, students, subordinates, or group members may become secondary or structural proxies when hierarchy and dependency create enough access for repeated diminishment.</p><p>These dimensions often co-vary but should not be collapsed into a single scale of closeness. A stranger may temporarily carry exposure power, but the ability to leave usually limits internalization. A peer may become potent when comparison, credibility, or shared standing threatens the enactor&#8217;s status. A subordinate may be low in intimacy but low in escapability, making them vulnerable through authority, dependency, and limited retaliation (Mackey et al., 2017; Vogel &amp; Mitchell, 2017). An estranged adult child may remain high in symbolic or attachment proximity while regaining some escapability, and with it partial protection from further internalization. These examples show why proximity and escapability must be treated as orthogonal dimensions of harm exposure rather than as a single relational gradient.</p><p>Low escapability may be experienced by the proxy as entrapment, and perceptions of defeat and entrapment are robustly associated with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidality across clinical and nonclinical samples (Gilbert &amp; Allan, 1998; Siddaway et al., 2015; Taylor et al., 2011). In effigistic relationships, entrapment is not only physical or circumstantial but interpretive: the proxy may be unable to leave the relationship, challenge the enactor&#8217;s definition of reality, or locate the meaning of the enactor&#8217;s shaming behavior outside the self. Harm is therefore intensified when the proxy cannot escape either the relationship or the behaviorally imposed meaning assigned within it.</p><p>Attachment relationships add the decisive step of internalization. A stranger may be humiliated and leave with the wound external to the self; a child often cannot. When physical escape and cognitive reinterpretation are limited, the caregiver&#8217;s shaming behavior and assigned meaning act on a self still under construction (Bowlby, 1988; Freyd, 1997; Maier &amp; Seligman, 2016). The child may be chronically organized into a relational failed-state that protects the caregiver from feared failure: dependent, defective, incompetent, needy, foolish, or not-yet-capable, while the caregiver remains competent, superior, and unexposed.</p><p>Over time, this relational failed-state may become an internalized failed-state: a constricted organization of identity, value, agency, credibility, and differentiation formed under shame, hostility, and failed recognition (Hashim et al., 2024; Melamed et al., 2024). A child shamed for need may become ashamed of dependency; one mocked for competence may hide achievement; one attacked for autonomy may fear separateness. In this way, effigism may scale from interpersonal cruelty into self-formation.</p><p>Table 2 summarizes the proxy-role gradient and its moderating factors.</p><p><strong>Table 2</strong></p><p><em>The Proxy-Role Gradient: Proximity, Escapability, and Moderating Factors</em></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png" width="1390" height="386" 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/__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_848, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ICgv!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36a5a31d-94d4-490c-bc4c-9ca2e9818c77_1390x386.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2><span>7. Differentiation from Related Constructs</span></h2><p>Effigism must be distinguished from phenomena it resembles without denying overlap. Many adjacent constructs describe parts of the sequence: shame discharged as hostility, disowned content attributed to another, coercive tactics, scapegoating roles, recipient entrapment, or intergenerational transmission. Effigism names a more specific proxy-mediated self-regulation system in which an unrecognized or disowned wound to self-definition is managed through the relational position assigned to another person. That position preserves non-exposure, is maintained through chronic undermining, ruptures when the proxy acquires exposing power, and is restored through attack, threat-offset, and role restoration. The comparisons below distinguish effigism by level of analysis, regulatory function, maintenance or attack, relief obtained, and recipient effect.</p><h3><span>7.1 Shame Discharged as Attack on Others</span></h3><p>Several accounts describe shame discharged as hostility. Nathanson&#8217;s (1992) Compass of Shame identifies &#8220;attack other&#8221; as a script for deflecting shame; Lewis&#8217;s (1971) shame-rage sequence describes unacknowledged shame reorganized as anger toward a perceived humiliator; and Kohut&#8217;s (1972) account of narcissistic rage describes hostility following selfobject injury. Later work links shame, humiliation, social rank threat, and aggression (Elison et al., 2014; Thomaes et al., 2008, 2011). Effigism shares the observation that shame may be managed by attacking another, but it is narrower. It describes a system in which the proxy first stabilizes the enactor by preserving non-exposure and then becomes dangerous when that function ruptures. Effigistic hostility is therefore not merely shame expressed outward; it is the defensive restoration of a relational arrangement. By diminishing, humiliating, or discrediting the proxy, the enactor neutralizes exposure, reverses the humiliating position, and returns the proxy to the subordinated failed-state.</p><h3><span>7.2 Displacement</span></h3><p>In displacement (A. Freud, 1936; S. Freud, 1917), blocked affect is redirected onto a safer substitute. Effigism differs because the proxy is not selected merely as a safe target but for relational power: the proxy can stabilize the enactor&#8217;s self-state, expose the disowned wound, or be returned to a failed position that restores superiority. Displacement may produce a harmful episode without requiring a continuing relational arrangement. Effigism implies recurrence, role structure, exposure panic, threat-offset, role restoration, and, in attachment bonds, possible identity-level organization in the recipient.</p><h3><span>7.3 Projection and Projective Identification</span></h3><p>Projection attributes a disowned quality to another; projective identification adds interpersonal pressure for the other to experience or enact the disowned content (Klein, 1946; Ogden, 1979; S. Freud, 1917). Effigism overlaps with both because disowned shame, failure, or defectiveness may be relocated into the proxy. Projective identification may be one mechanism by which the proxy is induced into the failed-state. Effigism differs, however, in operative function and scope. Projection and projective identification describe operations on disowned content; effigism describes the proxy-mediated system organizing that content. Projective identification helps explain how the failed-state may be induced, but it does not specify why the proxy must be maintained in a failed position, what that position regulates, why role rupture produces exposure panic, or why restoration produces relief. Effigism adds this regulatory account: the proxy is not merely a receptacle for disowned shame or weakness; the proxy must remain diminished so the enactor can avoid exposure to the very vulnerability, failure, or inadequacy that the proxy has been made to represent.</p><h3><span>7.4 Learned Helplessness, Entrapment, and the Internalized Failed-State</span></h3><p>The internalized failed-state resembles learned helplessness because the recipient may learn that effort and self-protection do not reliably produce relief or recognition (Maier &amp; Seligman, 2016). Effigism can create non-contingency when the enactor&#8217;s hostility is driven less by what the recipient has actually done than by the enactor&#8217;s own panic at feeling exposed. It may also produce entrapment when the proxy cannot leave, resist, reinterpret, or refuse the assigned role. However, the internalized failed-state is broader than learned helplessness. Learned helplessness centers on the expectation that action will not change outcomes, whereas the internalized failed-state involves a wider constriction of self-organization, including identity, value, agency, differentiation, credibility, and direction. The recipient may therefore believe not only &#8220;my actions do not matter,&#8221; but &#8220;my competence threatens the bond,&#8221; or &#8220;the enactor&#8217;s shaming behavior reveals who I am.&#8221;</p><h3><span>7.5 Pathological Narcissism</span></h3><p>Pathological narcissism is treated more fully in Section 5 as the closest contrast. The central distinction is reflected-status regulation versus contrastive-status regulation. Narcissism organizes the other as a mirror through which recognition, admiration, status, or superiority is restored; effigism organizes the proxy as a contrastive failed-state figure whose diminished position preserves the enactor&#8217;s non-exposure. The behaviors may overlap, including contempt, devaluation, coercion, retaliation, and control, but the regulatory function differs. Narcissistic hostility seeks restoration of recognition, superiority, or status; effigistic hostility seeks restoration of non-exposure through the proxy&#8217;s debasement. For that reason, the principal narcissism objection is addressed in Section 5 rather than repeated here.</p><h3><span>7.6 Borderline Personality Organization</span></h3><p>Effigism can resemble borderline functioning when hostility occurs in close relationships, but the organizing motive differs. Borderline personality disorder is centrally associated with instability of self-image, affect, and relationships, intense anger, impulsivity, and fears of abandonment or rejection (Gunderson &amp; Lyons-Ruth, 2008; Leichsenring et al., 2024; Linehan, 1993). Effigism is not defined by abandonment panic. The proxy or attachment figure is dangerous not primarily because they are leaving, but because their differentiation, need, credibility, or agency produces role rupture and exposure panic. Put schematically, borderline hostility says, &#8220;You are abandoning me&#8221;; effigistic hostility says, &#8220;You are exposing me, and I will return you to the failed position.&#8221; The two may co-occur, especially in disorganized attachment histories, but they solve different regulatory problems.</p><h3><span>7.7 Sadism and Everyday Cruelty</span></h3><p>Sadism takes gratification in the other&#8217;s suffering as such (Buckels et al., 2013). In effigism, suffering is not the primary aim but the means by which exposure is neutralized and the proxy is returned to a regulatory role. The sadist seeks domination or pleasure in pain; the effigistic enactor seeks threat-offset and role restoration. Everyday cruelty is broader still. Effigism should be reserved for cruelty organized around a proxy role, a disowned wound, exposure threat, maintenance or attack, threat-offset, role restoration, and recurrence.</p><h3><span>7.8 The Scapegoat Role and Identification with the Aggressor</span></h3><p>Scapegoating and identification with the aggressor operate at the systemic and transmission levels, complementing effigism rather than competing with it. Family-systems and depth-psychological accounts describe the recipient&#8217;s position in the system (Bowen, 1978; Perera, 1986). Effigism names one strategy by which the scapegoat is installed and maintained: the proxy is kept in a failed position so the enactor, and sometimes the wider family, need not encounter disowned shame or failure. The scapegoat role describes the recipient&#8217;s systemic position; effigism specifies one self-regulatory mechanism by which that position is behaviorally imposed and maintained. Identification with the aggressor names a transmission mechanism by which a recipient may later enact the strategy (A. Freud, 1936; Ferenczi, 1933/1949): the child who survives by internalizing the humiliating gaze may later use it toward self or others. Effigism specifies what is transmitted: not merely aggression, but a relational strategy for managing threatened self-definition through the diminishment of a proxy.</p><h3><span>7.9 Gaslighting, DARVO, and Coercive Control</span></h3><p>Gaslighting, DARVO, and coercive control describe tactics or abuse patterns that may appear within effigism without constituting it. DARVO names a behavioral abuse tactic rather than a proxy-mediated self-regulation system (Freyd, 1997). Gaslighting, similarly, describes manipulation of another&#8217;s reality-testing and credibility; recent reviews note that definitions remain inconsistent but converge on manipulation that undermines the target&#8217;s sense of reality, often within power-laden relationships (Darke et al., 2025; Sweet, 2019). Gaslighting may occur within effigism when the proxy&#8217;s credibility threatens the enactor&#8217;s authority to define reality, but gaslighting alone does not require failed-state maintenance or shame-exposure regulation. Gaslighting may serve effigistic regulation when it helps impose the meaning that the proxy is unstable, foolish, dishonest, or unworthy of credibility. Coercive control, likewise, may overlap when the enactor restricts the proxy&#8217;s agency, and recent meta-analytic work links it with PTSD and depression (Lohmann et al., 2024); yet effigism is narrower, specifying the function of preserving non-exposure and restoring a failed position. In each case, the tactic may serve effigistic regulation, but does not define it; the defining function is managing exposure through the proxy&#8217;s position.</p><h3><span>7.10 Briefly Distinguished</span></h3><p>Externalization locates the problem outside the self; effigism organizes a proxy into the role of the problem so the enactor remains unexposed. Reaction formation converts an unacceptable impulse into its opposite (A. Freud, 1936); effigism conceals and regulates through a relational proxy rather than through a counter-impulse. Intermittent explosive presentations are distinguished by impulsivity and by the absence of proxy-role structure, failed-state maintenance, exposure panic, and relief through threat-offset and humiliating role restoration.</p><p>Table 3 summarizes the distinctions between effigism and related constructs.</p><p><strong>Table 3</strong></p><p><em>Differentiating Effigism from Related Constructs</em></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lb94!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f29dd83-5673-4f9c-9785-3e26cfc89c7c_1164x1738.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lb94!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_424, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_webp, 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/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lb94!, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/toddberntson.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f29dd83-5673-4f9c-9785-3e26cfc89c7c_1164x1738.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><h2>8. Clinical Formulation and Therapeutic Implications</h2><p>Because effigism is proposed as a new construct, its clinical implications are provisional and formulation-oriented rather than an established treatment protocol. Its usefulness lies in helping clinicians, recipients, and, when possible, enactors understand a recurring relational pattern: one person regulates threatened shame, inadequacy, or exposure panic by maintaining another in a diminished failed-state. The model is clinically useful from two perspectives. First, it may clarify how the pattern affects the enactor by identifying the wound, humiliating gaze, proxy role, role rupture, exposure panic, attack behavior, and relief sequence. Second, it may clarify how the pattern affects the proxy by explaining how repeated humiliation, invalidation, or discrediting can become internalized as shame, self-doubt, constricted agency, and failed-state identity.</p><p>For enactors, the model may identify intervention points without using effigism as a shaming label. The clinical task is to make the regulatory sequence more perceptible: what wound is being protected, what produces exposure panic, who is used as a stabilizing proxy, what behaviors restore relief, and what relational costs follow. Because no treatment model has been tested specifically for effigism, intervention would likely draw from approaches used with narcissistic vulnerability, borderline organization, trauma, shame, and attachment injury. Potential targets include shame tolerance, affect regulation, mentalization, reduction of contempt-based defenses, relational repair, and forms of self-stabilization that do not require debasing another.</p><p>For recipients, the model is clinically useful because it is reattributive. It helps the person understand self-contempt, shame, or failed-state identity not as accurate self-appraisal, but as the internalized result of another person&#8217;s self-regulatory pattern (DeYoung, 2015; Gilbert, 2009). Because self-criticism is associated with clinical risk (Blatt, 2004), this reorganization warrants direct attention. The therapeutic task is not merely to dispute negative beliefs, but to locate their origin in a relational pattern of humiliation, invalidation, and behaviorally imposed meaning. The person may need to grieve the needed attachment figure, recognize the old relational contract&#8212;&#8220;I remain failed so you remain unexposed&#8221;&#8212;and gradually reclaim identity, value, agency, credibility, and separateness.</p><p>Interventions for recipients would likely draw from trauma therapy, attachment-oriented work, compassion-focused approaches, embodiment practices, and behavioral methods that support agency and differentiation. A recipient may need to learn that competence is not dangerous, autonomy is not betrayal, need is not defectiveness, and credibility does not require the enactor&#8217;s permission. In attachment relationships, this work may involve separating the internalized failed-state from the self, softening the internalized humiliating gaze, restoring bodily and emotional safety, and developing new relational experiences in which agency, need, competence, and separateness do not invite attack. Effigism may therefore be clinically useful not because it prescribes a treatment, but because it identifies a relational injury pattern and therapeutic targets for both the enactor&#8217;s regulation and the proxy&#8217;s recovery.</p><h2>9. Limitations and Epistemic Status</h2><p>Several limitations should be stated plainly. First, effigism is a conceptual construct. It has not been operationalized or tested, and this article reports no data. The mechanisms invoked are interpretive constructs warranted by clinical-explanatory fit rather than experimental isolation. Second, the account of recipient impact is intentionally general rather than a formal developmental taxonomy. Third, the construct is a synthesis rather than a discovery. Its lineage is Kleinian, Fairbairnian, Bionian, Freudian, and Ferenczian, and its comparison with narcissism is grounded in Blatt&#8217;s (2008) two-polarities model. What is claimed is the consolidation of a dispersed pattern under a single construct, its placement within a family of proxy-mediated self-regulation strategies, and its differentiation from related phenomena.</p><p>The mechanism carries a risk of circularity. Several elements, including the humiliating gaze, proxy role, role rupture, exposure panic, and relief, are inferred from behavior rather than independently observed, and a model rich enough to narrate any cruel act after the fact is difficult to falsify. Two considerations bound this risk. First, threat-offset and role restoration after maintenance or attack are at least potentially measurable. Second, the proxy&#8217;s regulatory role should, in principle, be specifiable in advance for a given individual, making it possible to predict which forms of competence, need, separateness, or credibility will threaten the enactor before the next attack. Even so, the model should be read as a clinically grounded hypothesis, not a verified sequence, and empirical work should avoid diagnosing effigism from cruelty alone.</p><p>The terminology can also be misused. The term &#8220;effigist&#8221; may serve as shorthand, as &#8220;narcissist&#8221; does, but should remain tethered to the full pattern rather than becoming a moral identity, diagnostic category, or casual synonym for cruelty, abuse, or toxicity. Its usefulness depends on retaining the full relational structure: a disowned wound, a proxy assigned regulatory significance, maintenance in a non-exposing failed-state, role rupture, exposure panic, attack, threat-offset, role restoration, recurrence, and possible identity-level harm.</p><p>Finally, effigism is not an attachment style. Although attachment bonds can intensify the pattern, effigism should not be equated with dismissive, preoccupied, or disorganized attachment. Whether distinct attachment-shaped forms exist remains a question for future research. For this article, attachment is treated as a context that shapes access, dependence, target selection, and intensity, not as the construct itself.</p><h2>10. Future Directions</h2><p>Operationalization is the principal next step. On the enactor side, the model predicts associations with self-criticism and introjective organization (Blatt et al., 1976), shame-proneness as distinct from guilt-proneness (Tangney &amp; Dearing, 2002), and state-level increases in exposure panic or directed contempt during role rupture. Its distinctive prediction concerns relief: because effigism regulates threat through the proxy rather than merely venting affect, maintenance or attack should produce immediate threat-offset and role restoration without durable reduction in underlying shame. Attack would also be expected to produce a brief shift toward dominance, competence, superiority, or status elevation, separable from mere arousal reduction.</p><p>Proxy selection also yields testable claims. Because targets are organized by regulatory function, exposure power, position, and resemblance rather than conduct alone, exposure power, failed-state maintenance potential, and role rupture should predict target selection and attack intensity more strongly than symbolic content alone. On the recipient side, the framework predicts elevated self-criticism, assimilation of derogatory identity, helplessness, externalized control, impaired differentiation, and possible attachment disorganization, especially where nurturing and hostile signals are unpredictably interleaved (Cyr et al., 2010; Maier &amp; Seligman, 2016; Main &amp; Hesse, 1990). Measures should distinguish proxy maintenance from proxy attack: maintenance may predict chronic self-doubt, inhibited agency, and internalized failed-state formation, whereas attack should cluster around role ruptures involving competence, separateness, need, or credibility.</p><p>Future empirical work should avoid diagnosing effigism from cruelty alone. It should operationalize proxy role, failed-state maintenance, exposure panic, attack content, threat-offset, role restoration, recurrence, and recipient internalization independently wherever possible, while establishing discriminant validity against pathological narcissism, narcissistic hostility, neglect, borderline organization, displacement, projection, sadism, coercive control, gaslighting, and scapegoating.</p><h2>11. Conclusion</h2><p>This article has proposed effigism as a construct for a specific proxy-mediated self-regulation strategy: the management of compromised self-definition through a proxy whose relational position stabilizes or destabilizes the enactor&#8217;s self-state. Effigism is not merely shame turned outward, projection, displacement, scapegoating, or ordinary cruelty. It is emotional cruelty organized through a relational system in which the proxy preserves non-exposure by occupying a lower, dependent, discredited, or failed position; is maintained there through chronic undermining; and is attacked when role rupture gives the proxy exposing power.</p><p>The construct has been situated within a family of proxy-mediated self-regulation strategies. Narcissism organizes the proxy as a mirror that stabilizes the fragile self through reflected status; effigism organizes the proxy as a failed-state figure that stabilizes the self through contrastive status. This comparison clarifies the power the proxy carries and the identity-level harm that may occur when an attachment bond allows the proxy role to become part of self-organization.</p><p>If later research supports the construct, its value would be both theoretical and clinical. Theoretically, it specifies a distinct relational process within the self-definition pole: regulation of a fragile self through failed-state assignment, proxy maintenance, role rupture, humiliating reversal, and relief. Clinically, it gives recipients language for a form of cruelty that otherwise feels personal, deserved, and identity-defining, helping relocate the behaviorally imposed meaning from the recipient&#8217;s identity to the relational system that produced it. The central claim is not that effigism names all contempt or emotional abuse, but a narrower phenomenon: recurrent cruelty organized around a disowned wound, a proxy assigned regulatory power, maintenance and attack around exposure, relief through reversal, and possible internalization of the failed-state.</p><p>___________________</p><p><strong><span>Declaration of generative AI and AI-assisted technologies in the manuscript preparation process.</span></strong></p><p><span>During the preparation of this work, the author used ChatGPT 5.5 and Claude Opus 4.8 to check references, identify relevant literature, support developmental editing, compare the construct to adjacent models, and assist with copy editing. After using these tools, the author reviewed and edited the content as needed and takes full responsibility for the content of the manuscript.</span></p><h2>References</h2><p>Assor, A., &amp; Tal, K. (2012). 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Narcissistic personality disorder: Progress in understanding and treatment. <em>Focus</em>, 20(4), 368&#8211;377. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.focus.20220052</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://toddberntson.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">The Effigism Letter is a reader-supported publication. 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