"If you can't change the whole wide world, change your own little world, and maybe that'll kinda reach out and do some good. That's kinda how I do it... One day at a time. One thought at a time. One dream at a time"
-- Dolly Parton

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Change is a fundamental aspect of growing as a person, but sometimes it can be pretty challenging. I love the cartoon of a man at a podium asking, “Who wants change?” with the assembled crowd enthusiastically raising their hands in response. But when the speaker asks, “Who wants to change?” they quietly look down at their feet. We are all creatures of habit, but sometimes life forces change whether we like it or not.

Health issues are one example. I have written before about my stroke last October which luckily was not too serious. Then I fell down on my head descending a Concord NH State House stairway I had been up and down many times before. Was that stroke-related or was I just being careless? And, for sure, I am getting older so that is another life change and challenge.

Now I have a pinched nerve in my leg affecting sleep and have been doing physical therapy and getting MRI results. I cancelled my volunteer naturalist talks at Lake of the Clouds Hut on NH’s Mount Washington and wonder what the future holds for my hiking and more. Sometimes I feel fragile, but my therapist Kristen reminds me to be patient, observing that the heathiest people can sometimes be the most anxious.

I began zooming with Kristen six years ago when knee replacement medication led to some unpleasant anxiety. I believe that everyone should have a therapist and find it unfortunate that there is so much stigma related to mental health.

Another big change is family moving out of my town and going overseas. I miss them, but at least, we have Zoom. And I am sure to make a trip to Morocco where I lived for five years, starting with Peace Corps service in the early 1970s.

I worry, too, about our country and what the future will be. Will my children, grandchildren, and future generations enjoy the benefits of this country like I have? Will my volunteer work with Braver Angels and coauthoring our book Beyond the Politics of Contempt (and this substack) make a difference?

Our nation’s polarization is not changing for the better right now, but Kristen reminds me that this work is meaningful and I should be realistic about what I can control. Don’t underestimate how you touch others or fail to ask if what you are doing is helpful, truthful, and kind, she adds -- so keep at it and give yourself grace.

I am grateful that Kristen suggested some patience to work through hard moments this summer. She also mentioned Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, including A = accept your thoughts and feelings, C= connect with your values, and T= take effective action. That sounds like a good roadmap for a meaningful life.

As Dolly Parton said so eloquently, focus on your own little world. Be patient and take one day at a time. And as another performer, Jud Caswell, sings: “Put one foot in front of the other… that’s the way we climb.”

We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!

We encourage readers to share about our book Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times on social media and, if you can write a review on Amazon or Goodreads, that could help give the ideas in our book a boost.

This week, we welcome Wesley Warshawer as our guest writer. Wesley writes:

“In 2017, I read a poll that said:

• ~50% of the American electorate voted for Donald Trump

• ~33% believed that the Adam and Eve story in Genesis is literal, historic fact

• ~50% of the country lived in a house with a gun

I remember being uncomfortable after reading this. Not because I had a problem with any of these groups, but because those poll statistics were not reflective of my circle of friends and colleagues. My surroundings were not representative of this data.

This was an epiphany moment for me.

I was completely disconnected from a huge segment of America, not because I purposely avoided anyone, but because I was in a bubble. I was working in Silicon Valley, California—an overwhelming liberal and urban environment.

I felt embarrassed that I was so out of touch with my own country.

For three years, this poll was lodged in my brain, stewing and simmering in my mind. Then one day, my job became remote. My employment was no longer tethered to the state of California, as Covid sent all software employees out of the office.

I thought, this is my chance.

I got rid of my apartment, sold or stored my possessions, packed up the car, and began traveling to the most rural and conservative pockets of America. I wanted to exit the Silicon Valley bubble and inhabit a new one, in order to learn.

Question: Which city in America with a population of over 100,000 people had the highest voter turnout percentage for Trump?

Answer: Bismarck, North Dakota.

So that was my first destination. For the next 18 months, I drove from Bismarck, North Dakota to Biloxi, Mississippi. I would book an Airbnb for 4-6 weeks in a town. By day, I was working remotely for a semiconductor company in California; by night, the computer was closed and I was out talking to people. I struck up conversations with anyone I could, talking to locals about their beliefs, values, politics, communities, and hopes for the future.

The lesson learned:

America’s division is overstated.

While binary opinion polls show stark differences, Americans share common values, guiding principles, and an ethical framework.

For example, when I asked liberal Californians and conservative rural Americans:

1. Do you support a wall on the southern border, yes or no?

2. Do you support Obamacare, yes or no?

3. Who do you support for president, Biden or Trump?

I got remarkably different answers. This must show America’s division!

However, if I changed the question slightly:

1. Paint me a picture of a fair immigration policy.

2. Paint me a picture of an ideal healthcare system.

3. Paint me a picture of the attributes a good president should have.

The pictures that the Californians and rural Americans painted were remarkably similar!

When I asked the important questions, regarding fairness, justice, and the moral compass that led their lives...I found the answers completely alike.

So, that begs the question: why does the news media continually highlight our division, through binary polls and exaggerated references to our position on the “brink of civil war”?

The bubble—ubiquitous across all cultures and subcultures—can explain much of our perceived division. The problem is not that bubbles exist, but that we have become remarkably bad at communicating with people outside our own. In such an interconnected world, we think we know a lot about other types of people, but we don’t.

I remember walking into a BBQ restaurant in Alabama, and the owner asked me where my accent was from (of course, I thought he was the one with accent). I answered that I worked in California. He slowly shook his head and said, “You can eat here, but don’t bring that California socialism over here.”

I promised I wouldn’t.

When I was in the Midwest, I remember texting a Vietnamese-American friend about my adventures. She told me that it was great that I was having fun, but she definitely couldn’t survive there because “probably those people had never heard of pho.” I did a quick Google search and sent her a screenshot of my map, indicating 6 Vietnamese noodle restaurants within 15 minutes of my location.

We are all judgmental of each other, without knowing the facts. We presume things without knowledge.

However, I do admit that we have a problem. We think we have nothing in common with people across the political, social, geographic, or economic aisle. We feel divided, so we further retreat into the comfort of our respective bubbles. We demonize the other side, and our rhetoric and actions put an increasingly larger wedge between us. Tensions flare, and people get angrier and more hateful.

This is a behavioral problem that we must address. But, based on my travels, the ethical foundation underneath American society does appear to be intact.

That gives me confidence that we can figure this out. With a shared value system, cultural principles, and ethical norms, I believe we can heal the country.

I hope I am not the last American optimist left.”

Wesley Warshawer works in Business Analytics at a semiconductor company in Silicon Valley. His job is to understand data and communicate about it. A former Fulbright Scholar to South Korea, Wesley loves to step outside his bubble, explore new cultures, and translate complex ideas into stories that help people understand each other.

Thank you for reading Wesley’s article. If you are interested in doing a guest article, please reach out to us at connect@beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com. Check out our “About” page for guidelines or just write us. With close to 1400 subscribers, we want to amplify the messages of others who write about standing up for our beliefs with dignity, respect, curiosity, and humility for others. Personal stories are welcomed!

This week, we feature a guest post by Nathan Smolensky, author of “Common Ground from the Ground Up.” He writes:

“At a recent event, I took part in a wonderfully civil and productive conversation on immigration. We discussed deportations and concerns around family separation, and we discussed the implications of border policy and security, and the logistical burden of managing large waves of immigrants. All of the disagreement was respectful, everyone took their turn to speak, and everyone felt heard.

There was just one problem.

All those who took part in the conversation, and in the event around it, were there because they opted in. They were looking for a civil discussion around immigration and other topics. They were already inclined to be respectful to one another. The conversation we were having was missing the people who needed it most.

A Growing Bubble, But a Bubble Nonetheless

Like so many others, I became interested in the topic of depolarization, and in the world of civic bridging and dialogue-building, following the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election. I’ve been fortunate enough to see the movement’s incredible growth since then, from Braver Angels to BridgeUSA to the Constructive Dialogue Institute to so many other organizations and individuals working to bring people together. I’ve seen a boom in workshops and curricula and books dedicated to these efforts, and I’ve seen the research that underpins these materials expanded and refined.

But these resources are utilized by those who seek them out, by those who want to engage in dialogue-building and civility and healthy discourse. This creates the opt-in phenomenon, and it limits the movement’s reach.

If we rely on a vision of dialogue, civility, and the like to attract others to our movement, then our audience will be composed largely of those who are already convinced of the value of these things. We risk falling into the trap of most every ideological movement in the modern age, preaching to our choir while our message fails to reach the people who need it most.

A Clash of Imperatives

A great many organizations and efforts within our space were started upon a vision of civility, healthy dialogue, and respectful disagreement as noble virtues worth pursuing in and of themselves. And, to be clear, they are noble virtues worth pursuing in and of themselves. But if we rely on this moral imperative to attract others to join our efforts, then we end up selling ourselves short, and drastically limiting our potential for positive impact.

The key problem with bridging or depolarization as a moral imperative is that we have to compete against every other moral imperative. People may very well care about civility, about healthy dialogue, about the freedom of others to speak, but what if they care more about the plight of immigrants? Or about abortion? Or about the Middle East? What if they see so much at stake in whatever real-world issues that they feel speaking civilly about it, or tolerating others’ perspectives, simply isn’t worth it?

If we are dealing with this sort of hesitation, whether it is from a large audience or organization that we’re trying to appeal to, or with a friend or family member or neighbor whom we’re trying to attract to the bridging space, we cannot rely simply on arguing that our moral virtue is greater. At best, this line of thinking is simply not going to resonate with the most polarized among us, and that’s going to seriously hinder our efforts to depolarize. At worst, insisting too greatly upon our virtues being the highest priority and the most important, can create a sense of moral superiority, a mentality that is unhealthy for those within the movement and deeply off-putting to those outside of it.

There’s a way around all of that, and it begins with realizing that the mission of bridging does not need to rely on any moral imperative. The skills that we foster, of civil discourse, of constructive dialogue, of common-ground seeking, offer a pathway to a great many goals, some of which our desired audiences are already pursuing.

Meeting People Where They Are

Some time ago, I wrote an article about what I termed the Great Political Finger Trap, about the phenomenon that our division feeds itself, that engaging in polarization will never resolve the conflict. We may be absolutely justified in pushing back and pulling away from those who disagree with us, but we often only harden their feelings when we do so. Just as it is with the classic Chinese finger trap, it is by coming together that we can actually break free.

By utilizing such a framework, we can meet people where they are — we can show them how the bridging tools we share can help them get where they’re trying to go, and not rely on convincing them that some other destination is more worthwhile. When we encounter those who say that their cause is simply too important to be civil or to engage in constructive dialogue, we can point to the fallacy in their logic: what exactly is being louder and less civil going to accomplish, except to push others away and to make our side look worse? How are we going to move the needle, if we can only endure talking to those who share our viewpoints? And if we really want people to open their minds and listen to what we have to say, would it not behoove us to open our own minds and listen to what they have to say?

At the heart of all of this is the incredible power of bridging as a means to more effective advocacy, communication, and relationship-building. Bridging empowers us. Being able to listen to different perspectives helps us to understand them, to understand how we sound to others as well as how they sound to us, and even to try to persuade, if we should so choose. Being able to approach conversation with a curious, collaborative, and positive mindset opens up a world of possibility.

Consider the college students, trying to prepare for the real world, passionate about their causes but struggling to engage critically and constructively with others. Consider the workspaces, where there is so much profit to be found by fostering clear and healthy communication, and integrating different styles and perspectives. Consider even the legislators, looking to reach across their aisles and garner support for their initiatives. All of these groups, and so many more, can gain from the power of bridging.

The reality is that most of us are stuck in one bubble or another. We’re stuck in these bubbles because of the way we communicate and silo ourselves in the digital age, because of the ways we divide ourselves and the ways we’re divided by others.

Within the bridging space, we hold the key to helping others break out of their bubbles. And if we understand that, we’ll have the key to breaking out of our own.”

Every few months, we bring our paid subscribers together for a Zoom event where you can ask us questions, share what you are working on, and just get to know us (and us, you!)

We will next meet on Thursday July 30 at 4:30 pm PT/5:30 pm MT/6:30 pm CT/7:30 pm ET. You can use this lin…

Read more

This article was originally posted on beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com and is shared here.

I’m really happy with how this podcast came out, and wanted to share some highlights with you (a bit courageously as it does get personal). Like me, Dr. Alison Kole is a sleep doctor. Like me, Alison created a new path in her career as I have done with writing, advocacy, and science communication. Alison is the host of the podcast, Sleep is My Waking Passion.

First— Pivoting to being an author of Beyond the Politics of Contempt with co-authors Doug Teschner and Becky Robinson, and moving to Vermont has definitely been a “leap before I look” moment. My husband and I continue to work part-time for Vanderbilt Health, where I directed a sleep division for 21 years. Since moving to New England two years ago, I’ve met many interesting people and had incredible experiences. My world has expanded and as Alison says- -it’s been a “wild fun ride.” I am immensely grateful to have had this opportunity. It’s a great lesson for anyone, whether you want to write books or do anything else. You can create your own path. Remember life is short so seize the day.

Second— Living in our current political moment can be stressful (no kidding!) Alison and I explore how outrage-driven culture, social media algorithms, and the 24-hour news cycle are affecting us negatively, with an emphasis on sleep. We refer to “doomscrolling insomnia” which includes looking at politically-charged posts before bed… rather than your friends’ puppies pics. Once they notice you are looking at those outrage-filled posts, the AI algorithms get into the mix and feed you more! And your well-meaning friends can be sucked in too…

I related the story of my son who wrote an editorial for his student newspaper during COVID-19 commending his University President for opening up classes. Next thing I knew, one of my friends commented “HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN!!! THEY ARE PUTTING VULNERABLE PEOPLE AT RISK!!!!!” and then my other friends joined the Facebook bloodbath, either attacking or supporting my friends and their comments. I finally had to ask everyone to take down their posts, thinking next time I would stick with the puppy pics…

Third— Conversations take time to ripen. Like my experiences with my friend who was on the “other side politically”— we didn’t immediately immerse ourselves in intense discussions about what we believed on abortion. climate change, immigration. and other controversial topics. We first got to know each other, and bonded over music. I’ve learned the wisdom of getting to know people as fellow humans first and then sharing my point of view second.

Bonus— How I integrate my bridging work back into my career as a health advocate, and science communicator. We get into the nuance of a hot-button topic— Daylight Saving Time. In 2022, I had the honor of testifying before the US House of Representatives in 2022 on the health advantages of year-round Standard Time. The US House has passed the Sunshine Protection Act to enact Daylight Saving Time year-round and the Senate is considering the legislation. Like many other sleep specialists and other health professionals, I’ve argued that morning light, promoted by year-round Standard Time, is essential to align our body clocks with the outside world, promoting sleep and myriad other aspects of physical and mental health,

Yet taking my bridging work to heart, I’ve embraced the approach of hearing out people who want light at the end of the day- -which daylight saving time provides. I’m curious about their point of view. Even if I continue to believe that winter sunrises past 9 am in some parts of the country, which we would have under year-round Daylight Saving Time, are detrimental to health, it’s important to hear opposing views. They need to poke holes in our arguments so we can figure out as a country the best path forward, considering all options open to us.

Finally, Alison asked me what the biggest thing I changed about myself in co-authoring Beyond the Politics of Contempt I realized that I needed to listen and learn from EVERYONE— passionate progressives, Trump supporters, and also those who have disengaged from social media and politics — as we need to learn from all perspectives.

Here’s the recording of the podcast. I welcome your comments!

Every few months, we bring our paid subscribers together for a Zoom event where you can ask us questions, share what you are working on, and just get to know us (and us, you!)

We will next meet on Thursday July 30 at 4:30 pm PT/5:30 pm MT/6:30 pm CT/7:30 pm ET. You can use this li…

Read more

This article was originally posted on beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com and is shared here.

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I was a Peace Corps forestry volunteer in Morocco in 1971-73 and later came back to Peace Corps as a country director in Burkina Faso (2008-10), Ukraine (2010-14), and Guinea (2014-16). Like many others who served, Peace Corps service is a defining aspect of who I am today, having shaped many important life experiences. This includes my volunteer work with Braver Angels and co-authoring the book Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times and our free “Together Across Differences” substack newsletter.

I appreciated that the National Peace Corps Association (NPCA) recognized my work in the “Peacebuilding in America” story by James Rupert. NPCA is a nonprofit, national network of returned PCVs, former staff, and friends. This story appeared in the spring/summer 2026 issue of WorldView magazine. Rupert advocates for former Peace Corps volunteers (PCVs) to use their talents to help rebuild civic trust at home. He served with the Peace Corps in Morocco and is a former international affairs correspondent with the Washington Post and writer/editor for the US Institute of Peace.

Partnerships are so important if we are to create a national movement to better our country. It was exciting to see Rupert and Carla Brown, our NPCA President/CEO, at the Braver Angels national convention in Philadelphia last month (see photo of Carla on the left and James on the right). I am delighted that Maury Giles, the Braver Angels CEO, will be attending the NPCA convention in Washington, DC this summer.

In his article, Rupert mentioned that it was folksinger Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul, and Mary fame) who introduced me to Braver Angels. As I wrote in a prior Together Across Differences post, I first met Peter in Ukraine in 2010 when I was Peace Corps country director and even joined him on stage to sing “If I Had a Hammer.” In November 2019, I reconnected with Peter at the Lebanon NH Opera House with his long-time partner Noel Paul Stookey. After a big hug, Peter told me about Braver Angels. Given my concerns about our country, this turned out to be exactly what I was looking for.

Jim also mentioned in his article the work of Peace Corps Guinea staff in ending Ebola which I also shared in this substack. Back in 2019 I wrote about this in WorldView: “Beating Ebola: Peace Corps’ Untold Story of Fighting the Virus in Guinea”.

Founded by President John F. Kennedy in 1961, some 250,000 Americans have served overseas with the Peace Corps. This federal agency has three goals: (1) to help the countries interested in meeting their need for trained people; (2) to help promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served; and (3) to help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans. I always thought, too, that there is an unofficial fourth goal: for those who served to bring their knowledge and experiences learned to help make our country better.

It is wonderful to have the National Peace Corps Association reaching out to do this important work to build bridges across division. And people do not have to be former Peace Corps volunteers to do that same. We can each apply our talents, skills, and experiences to the service of our special country as we celebrate 250 years -- and hopefully many more.

Are you looking for some inspiration today? A few reasons to believe in our country and our path forward? Well, just in time for Independence Day, Substack, Facebook, and LinkedIn are buzzing with recaps of the 2026 Braver Angels Convention, which was held at Temple University in Philadelphia on June 25-28. Here are a few moments that inspired me. Disclaimer: there were a ton of other events, including a civic scholars symposium, debates, author talks, workshops, and more! Apart from this article, check out the Braver Angels You Tube Channel and articles by Courtenay Budd and Richard Davies. And the video hosted by Wilk Wilkinson, Braver Angels Director of Media Systems and Operations.

Citizen-Led Solutions. Braver Angels has focused for years on how we talk with others across political differences, and received pushback that people wanted more action. An energizing initiative called Citizen-Led Solutions transforms civic dialogue into working with others to solving real-world community issues- -think affordable housing, traffic safety and even later school start times for sleepy teens. You can learn more HERE.

Here’s a video by Braver Angel filmmaker Swati Srivastava that captures the excitement of citizen-led solutions. I was thrilled to be featured on the jumbo screen with Terra Ziporyn of Start School Later (and watch other examples too).

Public Health Events. Scientists Francis Collins and John Ioannidis were featured in a panel, moderated by Wilk Wilkinson, entitled Science, Humility, and the Courage to Rebuild Trust. I was most impressed by the humility the speakers conveyed - “What people deserve from a scientist, which is to speak with integrity, competence, and humility (56:30).”

The day before, I co-led a breakout session with friend and colleague Leslie Lopato entitled “Building Trust: Bridging Partisan and Cultural Divides in Public Health” with a diverse panel exploring how public health professionals (including from state associations and academia) and community members (including from MAHA Ohio) successfully collaborate on public policy even when disagreeing on broader issues. Our photo is below and bios and other materials are HERE.

Strategic Partners. It wasn’t just Braver Angels at the table. Multiple organizations were at the convention, including but not limited to the strategic partners below, several of which have done guest posts with Together Across Differences.

Music brings us together— informal jam sessions into the evening, a dance party, and a concert featuring Carrie Manolakos- take a listen to these words from “All Eyes on Us”

"How do you want to feel? Do you want to heal? How will you use your voice? Don't worry I'll go first. To love even though I hurt. To reach you through the noise."

And singing in the chorus with my friends- -what could be more fun!

The People. My favorite part. Conservatives, Liberals, Independents. Authors. Speakers. Thought-Leaders. All coming together to inspire each other and restore our faith in our country.

Part of our Together Across Differences delegate team:

I’m hoping something in this article brought you a smile or inspiration. If so, take the next step and join Braver Angels or one of the more than 500 other organizations working to bring our country together.

Enjoy the weekend!

Author Note: This week’s post is written in collaboration with Samantha Ball, Dignity Initiative Research Director. She oversees research related to the 2026 Dignity Barometer and the Dignity Index, an eight-point tool for measuring how we talk to each other when we disagree, developed to ease divisions, prevent violence, and solve problems.

Samantha recently presented her findings from the 2026 Dignity Barometer at a Listen First Project meeting and we wanted to shine a spotlight on this impactful work.

This article shares some of the standout findings from the 2026 Dignity Barometer – a baseline measurement of how Americans perceive, experience, and think about dignity. The Dignity Barometer will be updated annually to provide a longitudinal look at how Americans experience dignity and how it changes over time. The shared opinions, experience, and values expressed in these findings provide a resource for understanding division, and a foundation for easing the extreme polarization in the United States today.

Figure 1. The Dignity Gap.

Figure 1 shows agreement on a foundational value shared by people regardless of political affiliation: that all people deserve to be treated with dignity. The Dignity Barometer defines treating someone with dignity as treating them in a way that honors their inherent worth as a human being. This is an extremely high level of agreement – and surprising given the level of polarization and division we see in most public conversation today.

Figure 2. American dissatisfaction with how we treat each other.

Figure 2 shows that the vast majority of Americans (78%) are dissatisfied with how we treat each other and 77% believe the problem is getting worse. Majorities of Democrats, Republicans, and Independents all feel this way, though the percentage is larger for Democrats and Independents than for Republicans.

Future work will be needed to determine if this finding endures, and if it is related to the party holding power in government.

Figure 3. The majority of Americans are optimistic that we can ease and heal divisions. The percentage is higher among those who engage across political disagreements.

Figure 3 shows a hopeful and unexpected finding. The majority of Americans believe we can ease and heal divisions within our country. Seventy-eight percent of those who engage with people they disagree with think we can “probably” or “definitely” ease and heal division, compared to only 64% of those who do not engage with those they disagree with.

Figure 4. Americans want to participate in positive change to encourage more dignity and less contempt.

Finally, Figure 4 shows that Americans are very interested in taking positive actions to reduce the amount of contempt in their own lives and in the public square. Nearly all of those asked say they would “model good behavior for children and young people in your life by treating people with dignity.”

Ninety percent would “support candidates for elected office who make treating people with dignity a top priority” in order to help encourage more dignity and less contempt in their community and country.

Together, these findings provide hope for movement away from polarization and division. They point to a significant opportunity: Americans have a strong foundation – they can work together across differences to promote dignity and respect.

In July 2023, I attended the Braver Angels national convention on the sacred ground of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Attendees were asked, “Why are you here?” and I wrote “I am worried that my grandchildren will not experience the benefits of this country that I have.” Other responses included: “I am here because, if we don’t change how our politics is done, we’ll see ourselves in another civil war. Except this time, it won’t look like Gettysburg—it’ll look like Rwanda.”

Having worked in Rwanda in the early 2000s, that caught my attention. I led a US Agency for International Development-funded project to strengthen the parliament in that nation, which was so scarred by the 1994 Hutu genocide against the Tutsis. Neighbors killed neighbors, even people they knew well, just because they were in a different tribe. The killers were emboldened by leaders who exploited difference and fear. I remember feeling grateful that we didn’t have political tribalism in the United States.Some years later, in 2014, I was working in Guinea during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa. I recall thinking that Americans, unlike many Guineans, would have faith and trust in our public health system in the event of a national medical emergency.

I was obviously wrong about our country avoiding both tribalism and a public health emergency. The COVID pandemic hit the US five years later, severely testing our ability to communicate with each other and trust what the government was telling us. While that pandemic may be behind us, it has clearly left deep scars.

We are now witnessing another big Ebola outbreak in Africa, this time centered in the Democratic Republic of Congo, with fearful people distrusting health workers and even attacking treatment centers. That has me thinking back to 12 years ago when I served as Peace Corps country director in Guinea. While the Peace Corps volunteers were sent home as a precaution, I stayed behind with our mostly Guinean staff to support the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) effort to contain this highly infectious disease.

Many Guineans were highly skeptical about Ebola, and there were many rumors and widespread resistance. Many who had contact with Ebola went into hiding, and there were incidents of crowds attacking government convoys. My staff used our deep community connections to educate citizens about the disease and the precautions required. We trained homemakers, teachers, students, youth leaders, and others about common rumors and how to overcome fear and resistance back home.

These community educators went back to their villages and developed a personal action plan starting with one-one-one conversations with family members, neighbors, and others they knew. As they gained confidence and gained support, they moved outward to others in their community, including speaking in small groups.

Our Ebola training initiative succeeded for many reasons. We identified respected community members as educators who gained credibility, earned respect and gained trust as volunteers. They asked open-ended questions and did not judge people. They applied participative approaches to learning, used their local languages and adapted messages to the community level. They were trained with role-playing techniques that helped them communicate effectively.

Ultimately, this initiative was estimated to reach 3.2 million people, one quarter of Guinea’s population, and Ebola was largely eradicated. U.S. Ambassador Dennis Hankins, wrote, “Peace Corps local staff were able to make a key contribution in fighting Ebola. Through their collective efforts, I am convinced hundreds if not thousands of lives were saved.”

Peace Corps sent a cash award to the Guinea staff, and we bought a large quantity of pagna, traditional fabric. Each staff member was given a piece and, as is the tradition in Africa, asked local tailors to make us each a shirt or dress. Then we went out to lunch at a Conakry restaurant in our matching outfits!

For more details about this effort, see this article I wrote in the National Peace Corps Association publication WorldView: “Beating Ebola: Peace Corps’ Untold Story of Fighting the Virus in Guinea” https://www.peacecorpsconnect.org/articles/beating-ebola.

Reflecting back, the most important lesson for me is, if you want to influence others, you have to be seen as trustworthy. You earn trust by treating others with dignity and respect, including listening to what they have to say. This requires enormous patience and practice starting with one-on-one conversations that apply courage, humility, and vulnerability.

These same lessons are needed to help our country continue for another 250 years – and hopefully many more. We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!

If you liked this article, consider watching the livestream of the Braver Angels Convention June 25-28. We have many offerings, including a Public Health session on Saturday June 27 from 10:30-11:30 am Eastern Time, entitled Building Trust: Bridging Partisan and Cultural Divides in Public Health. You can watch selected sessions or catch recaps on the Braver Angels YouTube Channel.

We would wholeheartedly agree, and believe that we all need that added attention, focus and creativity right now to channel outrage and connect across differences. Doug uses a flip phone to preserve his attention, and Beth works hard to control her phone habits, rather than the other way around.

Alex writes:

To show Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor who secured the patent for the basic telephone back in 1876, a modern smartphone, his expression probably wouldn’t be one of awe, but of confusion, or perhaps even horror.

The device he envisioned was fundamentally different from the rectangle of glass and metal that nearly 4.5 billion people carry in their pockets today. Bell’s phone was a destination: you had to physically go somewhere to use it, pick up the handset, dial a number, have a conversation, and then hang up (with a nice clang) and walk away. It was an intentional act with very defined boundaries and an unprecedented, but narrow, purpose.

Today’s smartphone is less a communication tool and more a portal. A camera, a computer, an information repository, and so much more. And this device hasn’t just changed how we call people. Rather, it has fundamentally altered how we think, how we pay attention, and how we experience being present. It has changed, and is still changing, our brain chemistry.

The good news—We have more agency than we think.

The Architecture of Distraction

What are these devices really? The way they work today, they mimic a slot machine. And that wasn’t by accident, but rather, it was a deliberate design choice from very smart people who built the hardware and software to keep us engaged. Instead of requiring coins to pull a lever on chance, they provide intermittent, variable rewards. Dopamine hits disguised as likes, emails read, or breaking news alerts. Our attention has become the most valuable commodity in our economic and political system today, and virtually every piece of technology, from our smartphones to TVs, and even modern vehicle “infotainment” centers, are all built around maximizing the extraction of that single resource - our attention.

We have, without discussion or consent, traded deep focus for constant connectivity, sacrificing the quiet moments of boredom (which used to breed creativity) for an endless feed of curated stimulation. We have sacrificed depth for breadth. Quality for Quantity.

So, how do we reclaim some sovereignty? We cannot simply “un-invent” these systems. The economic scaffolding supporting them is too complex and deeply ingrained. Nor should we necessarily. These devices can offer a lot, if used more intentionally. The idea is to shift from being users who react to the technology, to architects who choose when and how to engage. Here are five easy ways to start building that boundary in your own life.

1. Introduce Intentional Friction

One of the most insidious features of modern tech is its low barrier to entry. Face ID, a simple glance, or an open-hand lift makes using the device effortless, and thus, nearly automatic.

The fix? Increase friction. Turn off Face ID. Set a longer PIN or password. If accessing the device requires three seconds of conscious effort (typing out six digits instead of simply looking at it), you create a tiny cognitive speed bump. That pause is often enough to let you ask yourself: Do I really need this right now? You’ll find more often than not, the answer is no.

2. Define Physical “Tech Zones”

We need to stop treating our phones as ambient accessories that follow us everywhere, the bathroom, the dinner table, into the bedroom. Our environment needs designated areas of digital quiet.

The practice here is rather simple: Treat your home like it had dial-up internet: certain zones should be technology-free by default. The dining table is for eating, and for human connection. Your bed should remain an analog sanctuary, reserved for sleep, not for scrolling. Creating these physical boundaries helps re-wire our brains to associate those spaces with focus rather than distraction.

I purchased a set of cordless phones that have bluetooth built in. When I enter my house, my personal smartphone connects to it. If I want to do something without my smartphone but want either the ability to make an emergency call or receive an important call, I take the cordless phone with me. This might be working on things outside, sleeping, or taking an outdoor sauna. The cordless phone acts basically as a headset - no texting, no alerts, simply able to receive or make a call.

3. Curate the Alerts, Don’t Let Them Curate You

The default notification settings are designed to scream for your attention regardless of whether it’s important, necessarily, or time-sensitive. This is because capturing our attention is a multi-billion dollar economy, and we’ve implicitly opted into that by carrying a little engagement portals in our pockets.

Audit each application on your device and ask: “If this app sends me a notification at 10 PM, is it an emergency that requires my immediate awareness?” If the answer is no, turn off the alert. Move non-essential apps off your home screen and into folders and away from being right in your face every time you open your phone.

Turn on “do not disturb.” Why? To avoid getting constantly bombarded with notifications. We can decide when to look at our device, instead of our device telling us when we should look at it. “Do not disturb” shifts the decision making back to us, rather than our devices.

4. Re-Embrace “Unproductive” Analog Time

There is modern compulsion to fill every second with “productivity.” Waiting in line? Scroll. Waiting for coffee? Check email. This is cognitively and emotionally exhausting. Our attention spans suffer because we don’t practice the art of *nothing* anymore.

We need to schedule periods of active boredom. When you are waiting, look at the architecture around you instead of the screen. If you’re walking, count the different shades of green on the trees rather than checking social feeds.

By intentionally redirecting your focus onto the immediate physical world, you retrain your brain to find richness in low-stimulation environments again and start to reset some of the dopamine pathways that have become linked to phone use.

As a teacher of Master of Public Administration, I started each semester with one class on attention/distraction to set up everything for the semester. I encouraged them to try doing some of the coursework without a device interrupting them. Students exclaimed that they had never parted with their phone for even two hours, and found it freeing and supportive of their engaging in more focused and creative schoolwork.

5. Compartmentalize Technology’s Function

When you need a timer, use the dedicated clock app and put your phone across the room. Or use a watch or kitchen timer! When you write an email, use a laptop in a designated work location.

By segmenting which tool performs which job, we prevent the constant background hum of digital readiness that drains our mental battery simply because everything is *always* accessible.

I use an analog bevel timer on a watch for cooking and other similar tasks. I know that if I use my phone for that, once I see it, or open the screen, the odds are that I’ll get distracted and pulled into using the phone. Even if your phone is in your pocket, your brain will start entering FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) mode, and will be distracted, whether you are aware of that or not.

By being intentional about how we use our devices, instead of letting them decide how to use us, we can reclaim agency in a world where that is becoming the most precious of skills.

Together Across Differences Note. When Martha Engber, a Braver Angels member and host of Vigilant Positivity, asked if we could refer her to a conservative and liberal willing to talk about what those terms mean to them, and why it’s important to get beyond those labels and talk to Americans as people, we knew just who to recommend— Steve Saltwick from Texas and Katherine Cadwell from Vermont. Here are a couple of clips from a great interview you can find in its entirety on the Vigilant Positivity YouTube channel.

We found this interview powerful. We especially appreciated the different perspectives that Kathy, a liberal, and Steve, a conservative, are coming from.

They get to the heart of questions such as:

• What does it mean to be a liberal? A conservative? (Beyond the polarized insults and what we hear on the news)

• What do liberals and conservatives have in common?

• Where do they disagree?

• What is the role of relationships in overcoming polarization?

• Can community activism, solving problems at the local level, help overcome our stereotypes of “the other side?”

Both bridging (the work of Braver Angels and the more than 500 organizations involved in the ListenFirst coalition) and local activism (Citizen-Led Solutions) are captured in these clips. Take a look/listen!

In “Would you ever let your daughter marry a Republican!” Kathy talks about the people-to-people relationships we need to mend and regrow. These relationships, like new grass, must not be choked by the weeds.

Taken together, these clips inspire us - we can solve local issues AND at the same time, strengthen our relationships.

Do you have something you would like to share on our Substack? We welcome guest contributors to our newsletter, which now has more than 1300 subscribers. Here are our guidelines.

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The lead story in the May 2 edition of my hometown Valley News was headlined “An Acute Shortage – Demand for tradespeople accelerates, as older workers retire.” Fewer young people are attracted to this work, and the demand for electricians, plumbers and carpenters has “long been out of whack.” It was a good story, but I felt compelled to add a dimension that relates to the social and political division we describe in our book and volunteer work with Braver Angels. This is my letter to the editor that was published on May 12:

Thank you for the thoughtful piece on the acute shortage of tradespeople who are so needed and important. You cite the education push for college and low starting pay as among the reasons, but I suspect that another aspect is that tradespeople do not always get the respect they deserve. As New England regional leader for Braver Angels and co-author of the book Beyond the Politics of Contempt and the “Together Across Differences” substack, I have been observing how we Americans treat each other and how this is playing out in our social and political discourse.

According to 2020 US Census data, only 37.5 percent of people ages twenty-five or older have a bachelor’s degrees. And yet our media and politics is so dominated by this group with lessened attention for those in the trades, construction, and with other backgrounds. The saddest examples come when we disparage others with assumptions that they aren’t educated or smart enough to know how to vote in a way that best meets their needs.

Yes, we need to revise our educational system and pay tradespeople more. But we also need to look within our hearts to ensure that we are perceiving others better, including people with less education and social status. When we treat people with dignity and respect, they invariably feel more joy, pride, and initiative for their important talents and work. And all of us will benefit, too.

Our book offers a hopeful roadmap to better our lives, our relationships, and our country. We seek to increase goodwill among Americans and build a culture of kindness, dignity, and respect. We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!

We welcome you to check out our new audiobook at beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com and consider requesting a copy from your library.

Doug in 1972 in Morocco— 3rd from left.

Evelyn Kohl LaTorre (Peru 1964-66) reviews Doug Teschner’s (Morocco 1971-73) Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to build Positive Relationships in Divided Times. This nonfiction politics book was published in September 2025.

Title: Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to build Positive Relationships in Divided Times

Genre: Nonfiction | Politics

Author: Doug Teschner (Morocco 1971-73), Beth Malow, Becky Robinson

Published: Sept. 9, 2025 (Together Across Differences LLC)

Buy on Abe Books | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop.org | Thriftbooks

Reviewed by Evelyn Kohl LaTorre (Peru 1964-66)

This collaborative book is a pep talk to U.S. citizens to treat with dignity and respect those whose political views are the opposite from one’s own.

The three co-authors – whose individual comments show up throughout the work – show how abusive behavior (exacerbated during the COVID pandemic) is increasing in many arenas of daily life, from highways to hospitals to public meetings. That abuse follows a pattern, starting with rudeness and escalating to demonization and sometimes, physical threats. As citizens experience this type of distasteful and unkind behavior, the authors say, they become angrier and develop greater contempt for those whose political loyalties are different from their own.

Combine that with the trend of people spending more time with others who think similarly, which leads to avoiding those with differing viewpoints, and you can understand how the behavior of putting down “those other people” can be damaging to U.S. democracy and all those who live in it.

At the same time, the decline in trust of U.S. government and political institutions over the past 40 years has been facilitated by what the authors refer to as “conflict entrepreneurs.” These include social media (algorithms that amplify fear and anger for profit, attention and power), an atmosphere denigrating compromise, and politicians rewarded for bad behavior. The decline in civics education in schools and the different interests of urban vs. rural voters are contributing factors that push against unifying the country.

So what can people – those who care, at least – do about it?

In five sections, the book explores the roots of unhealthy conflict, how “the exhausted majority” can instigate change, and how, by individuals being willing to change their own behavior and become leaders, polarization could decrease and make the country work better.

Each chapter is peppered with quotes from well-known leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Peter Drucker, and David Brooks, and includes questions for further thought at each chapter’s conclusion. Checklists for changing oneself and our country are written at the end of the book, along with a list of groups focused on developing empathy with those of differing political views, and an “about the authors” section that this reviewer found useful to read first to get more context for each writer’s notes, inserted throughout the text.

Though getting through the book at times felt like required reading for a college class, it successfully examines and explains the factors that puzzle many U.S. citizens and voters about our seemingly fractured political system, as well as what to do about it.

And it’s already had an impact: I took the authors’ suggestions and now respond in social media with more thoughtful and positive statements when I encounter views contrary to my own.

Evelyn Kohl LaTorre (Peru 64-66) is the author of Between Inca Walls, A Peace Corps Memoir and Love in Any Language, A Memoir of a Cross-Cultural Marriage.

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The book has now been out for 9 months, and we’ve appreciated the opportunity to share it through in-person and online events. We hope our book will continue to reach people to support them in building positive relationships, even in times of division, conflict, and uncertainty. The audiobook version allows us to reach a new segment of readers who can listen to our work.

We’re especially excited to let you know that you’ll hear our voices as part of the audiobook. Each of us read our personal stories! We’ve heard from many readers about the power of personal stories in getting our message across.

Here’s a sample clip from Doug on change and the exhausted majority:

And a lighthearted one from Beth on how she uses social media to burst her liberal bubble:

We appreciate your sharing news about our audiobook with your friends, family, colleagues, and library, and leaving an Amazon or Goodreads review if you are inspired by what you hear.

Feel free to reach out if we can help with your online book club or other event. You can contact us at connect@beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com

Thank you for your support!

With Gratitude,

Doug, Beth, and Becky

Together Across Differences note: This week, we wanted to take a break from our book and the world of politics to focus on something that appears different— our passions, our personal challenges, our support from friends, and our resilience. However, we can bring these elements into any meaningful work we pursue in our life. This week we hear from co-author Becky Robinson. As you read her words, be thinking — What is your challenge? Who is supporting you through it right now?

Becky writes on her Substack, For the Long Run:

To celebrate my milestone birthday later this month, I signed up to run the Thumb Coast Ultra 50K on April 25. I ran 5K prior to the official race start to meet my challenge of running 55K total. Here’s a poetic reflection I wrote and shared on Threads. I haven’t shared any writing in this space for a while, but this content feels relevant to the title of my publication, For the Long Run. This was a very long run, the longest of my life, over 34.5 miles total.

Here’s my poetic reflection:

The morning: chilly, brisk wind by the lake. We run inland where trees shelter a break and open up calm paths.

The feeling of freedom, strength to move steadily forward, enjoying conversations with friends-just-met, sharing stories of training and triumph.

Let’s journey together a while, matching strength with strength for as long as we will.

Then I’ll travel on alone, boosted by messages from friends far away, pinging courage across miles

To the phone in my pocket.

I am not alone now, though the only footfalls I hear are my own.

You are with me, carrying me forward with your love and encouragement.

With not many miles to go, in full circle, I am joined again by another just-met-friend who picks me up to brush me off when I fall.

She is the one who now speaks words of strength to me as we move along, more slowly now, to the finish, where loved ones await with cheers and embraces.

What a joy to spend a day this way, fresh air and the ground beneath our feet reminding us that we are alive. We are alive, strong, courageous, and complete.

We appreciate all of our subscribers!

Last Sunday, I was honored to write the guest post for Tangle News. I’m a big fan of Tangle News because they present both sides of contentious political issues, along with the editor’s take. Their thoughtful analyses encourage me to view issues in a more nuanced way.

Here’s my post:

Do you ever feel conflicted about doing the hard work of opening yourself up to hear different political viewpoints? Is it easier to be an activist than a bridge- builder? Are you pulled to news sources that create outrage and raise your stress level, rather than those that value nuance?

I’m a sleep doctor, science communicator, and a co-author of Beyond the Politics of Contempt. As a paid subscriber, I read Tangle to get both sides of the news. That helps me from falling into the outrage cycle. I’m inspired by Tangle essays such as Decency is about to make a comeback, which speak to Americans having grown tired of cruelty in our politics and wanting to see more kindness.

When I talk with friends socially, or audiences at our book events, I’m struck by how easy it is to be pulled into our echo-chambers, bubbles, silos, and tribes (you choose the word that most resonates with you) and how challenging it is to leave these spaces. A common type of question we’re asked is “How can I talk with others, or read news sources, that have a differing view on FILL IN THE BLANK?” The BLANK can be abortion, climate change, gun rights, immigration — to name a few. Aren’t I compromising my integrity and giving weight to immoral positions by listening to others? Isn’t reading about different points of view dangerous? Will I be sucked into a conspiracy theory at worst? Or at best, compromise my values and morals?

I’ve been admonished by well-meaning friends. “Beth, it’s great that you are so nice and want to be a kind person. But there is a higher moral issue at play here in what Trump and his team is doing. How can you do anything but FIGHT?” Or “We will talk with the other side once we are victorious and they are out of power.” Or “This isn’t the time to bridge-build; the world is on fire! I need to save my limited energy for activism.”

Outrage does have its place in our culture and our history. Look at the American Revolution and the bravery of the colonists who rebelled against the Crown. I think of outrage as having an arc. It’s helpful in the short-term — motivating action in the face of injustice. But too much outrage can work against us. It can contribute to sleepless nights as we doomscroll on our phones. Outrage increases our stress level and harms our physical and mental health. We may withdraw and stop being engaged in whatever cause motivates us because it’s all too much. We may stop reading Tangle!

I would ask: Is EVERY ISSUE a moral one, on which you know what is right and what is right cannot be compromised? Or can some issues be negotiated? Is compromise, or slow incremental change, possible in our current divided political climate? Perhaps could a compromised solution from a moral stance be better than no solution at all?

Looking back on our messy American history, I get that some issues are non-negotiable (slavery). But other issues may actually benefit from being vetted by groups of people with differing viewpoints. For example, the tension between voter eligibility and voting rights exemplified by the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act. Can our leaders frame this issue not as zero-sum thinking characterized by “us vs. them” toxic polarization but as policy to be addressed through compromise and creative solutions? Can we require ID to vote and also make it free and easy to get such IDs, Senator John Fetterman’s (D-PA) solution that both Tangle and Fox News support?

Bridge-building and activism can co-exist, as I explored with Mónica Guzmán, author of “I Never Thought of it That Way” in a recent Substack post. We concluded that not everyone needs to be both, although it’s possible they can co-exist with bridge-building strengthening activism. I like to think about bridge-building also as coalition building, creating more in-roads to your cause through including differing voices. I’m heartened by the more than 500 organizations across the political spectrum that have sprung up, as captured on the Listen First Coalition’s website.

As our nation considers that decency and kindness may be a way forward to our toxic politics, perhaps we need to think of a different term for bridge-building that’s more attractive, energetic, and motivating. Enlightened activism seems condescending to the activists, cross-partisan collaborative problem-solving sounds too academic and complicated, and Coalition Power-Building sounds a little scary.

Braver Angels has suggested Courageous Citizenship, choosing connection over contempt, the space between silence and outrage.

What might you suggest as an alternative term to bridge-building that captures its power in this moment? Let us know.

At least once a week, one of my clinic patients laments that they can’t fall asleep, and then sheepishly admits— “Doc, I can’t turn off the news and I get so ANGRY watching BLANK” (fill in your favorite TV cable channel or talk show.) I addressed doom scrolling, the compulsive, excessive consumption of negative news or social media content, in a recent article published by Self magazine. As a sleep neurologist, I focused on the downside of doom scrolling on health when trying to get to bed.

It’s easy to bash the media. However, we can also turn to the media, and even AI (!), to help us find “balanced news”. I asked Google Gemini the question: “What news sources can I turn to for balanced news” and came up with the response below (in italics) which I reviewed for accuracy, edited for brevity, and added links. While I’m not advocating doing this reading before bed (a novel or soothing music will be more conducive to sleep), consuming these news sources during the day may be just the prescription you need to help with outrage, and get a good night’s sleep. For me, when I consume balanced news, it helps me realize there are many sides to a story and gives me agency to think more independently.

Here’s what AI and I came up with (if you have another source we left out, let us know):

Provide Daily Email:

• Tangle: Every day, Tangle takes one major news story and breaks it down. It provides a quick summary of the facts, curates the best arguments from the Left, curates the best arguments from the Right, and then the editor gives his own synthesized take.

• The Flip Side: They take one pressing issue each day and provide a digest of quotes and excerpts from liberal and conservative commentators, allowing you to see the strongest arguments from both camps side-by-side.

Side-by-Side Aggregators

If you prefer browsing the news yourself rather than reading a newsletter, these websites are designed to show you how different media ecosystems are framing the exact same event.

• AllSides: When a major event happens, AllSides puts a headline from a Left-leaning outlet (like MSNBC or The New York Times), a Center outlet (like AP or Reuters), and a Right-leaning outlet (like Fox News or The Wall Street Journal) right next to each other. You can immediately see what details each side is choosing to emphasize or ignore.

• Ground News: This platform identifies media “blind spots.” If a story breaks, Ground News will tell you if it’s being heavily covered by one side of the political spectrum and ignored by the other. It allows you to swipe between coverage of the same event from thousands of publications globally.

I wanted to add a source that one of our subscribers mentioned to me— Straight Arrow News. If you are aware of any additional sources, please message us at connect@beyondthepoliticsofcontempt.com so we can expand the list.

Now a question for you- -

If you use these sites, how do you feel after you do?

• More informed?

• Less outraged?

• Smarter?

• More open-minded?

• Or something else?

Please leave a question in the comments.

We are grateful to you for your support of our Substack. Thank you for being part of our community.

As many of you know, we gather regularly on Zoom, to meet you and answer any questions about our book, Beyond the Politics of Contempt, or its themes. We try to vary these times so more people can participate. We also make ourselves av…

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