Faouzia’s UNETHICAL has been on repeat since yesterday.

I've been thinking about idea behind the song, the kind of love that slowly convinces you that choosing yourself is selfish.

There is something particularly heartbreaking about being loved by someone who wants you, but not the version of you that comes with your dreams.

And what happens when someone says, “I love you,” but loving them means becoming smaller?,

When you have to choose between the person you love and the things that make you you?

Sometimes, we romanticise sacrifice too much.

Some sacrifices is not love and will never be.

We are constantly told that love requires compromise. And yes, sometimes it does. You adjust. You communicate. You meet each other halfway. But there is a difference between compromising and disappearing.

I don't want a love that requires me to abandon my ambitions to prove that I am committed.

I don't want to become less intelligent, less ambitious, less loud, less curious, less me just so somebody can feel secure loving me.

And maybe that's the saddest part of UNETHICAL for me.

It reminds me that sometimes the person you're trying so desperately not to lose is the very person you're losing yourself for and what is the point of keeping someone if the price is becoming a stranger to yourself?

I would rather lose a person than lose the person I am.

Because love should have room for your dreams too.

And if it doesn't?

Maybe it's not love asking you to choose.

Maybe it's control.

You should not lose yourself or “have to lose yourself” to keep someone.

Thanks for reading my first article ☺️

1. My government name is Olowoniyi Toluwalope Helen. I'm Yoruba, as you can probably tell from my name.

2. I've lived most of my life in Akure. Born in Akure, raised in Akure, and even the university I'm admitted to is in Akure. 😩

3. I'm a 400L Computer Information Systems student at the Federal University of Technology, Akure.

4. I'm 20.

5. My birthday is June 26th.

6. I'm the last child of three children and the only girl.

7. I'm 5'7" the last time I checked.

8. I don't have a favourite anything. 😭

9. I love music. A LOT.

10. I'm single.

11. I genuinely love being alone.

12. I'm Christian.

13. I love taking pictures and videos of literally anything I find interesting.

14. I don't try enough. 😭

15. I want to be an entrepreneur and build a successful career in tech.

16. I'm currently looking for an internship placement. Somebody helppppp. 😭

17. I text with stickerssss. They just complete my messages.

18. I love gold jewellery.

19. I'm a minimalist.

20. I admire boobs a lot. Not too big, but definitely not small. 😭

21. I've never been to a live concert, but I really, really want to attend one. 😩

22. I pay attention to details.

23. I can sing.

24. I cannot dance. At all.

25. I love movies.

26. Sleeping is literally my hobby.

27. I'm a business owner. I sell hair extensions, although my business is currently on a break because I need to restrategize. (An excuse, guys. I'm actually confused 😭.)

28. No put me for talk. I don't talk much.

29. I love money.

30. I'm glossophobic — public speaking scares me. 😭