Dear Becomer, Breathe.

In your 20s, you should have achieved this.

In your 20s, you should have known this.

At 21, you should have had your master’s degree.

At 22, you should have known who you want to marry.

Oh, please, can you just rest and let me breathe? 😭

Maybe that was too harsh, but seriously, stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

Well, hi friends.. 🤭

This particular subject matter has been sitting in my heart for a short period of time, and I feel now is the best time to share it.

Of course, whatever I am going to be saying will have me referring back to my wonderful community, The Dear 20 Something Community.

I get that it is good to have your life figured out and plan your life in the way you want it to be, but my dear friends, it becomes a performance when unnecessary pressure sets in.

I remember during the last hangout, the convener made a statement that you don’t have to have a timeframe or limit for everything.

What if it doesn’t go according to your plans?

I have come to realize that my 20s are more about becoming and discovering different parts and seasons of my life.

Of course, live a purposeful life, but avoid unnecessary comparison.

Maybe I should use myself as an example.

Stepping into 2026, I didn’t really write my goals for the year.

Or maybe I did? 😂 But I didn’t write much.

Writing goals is good for coordination, but I didn’t really write my goals this year, and I can tell you that I did certain things without feeling pressured.

Before I turned 20 this year, I remember asking myself, How would I achieve certain things people are achieving?

But looking at it now, I have learnt a lot of lessons.

In your 20s, you will hear statements like:

“By this age, you should have completed your studies.”

“By this age, you must have gotten your first car, because if you haven’t, you don’t have evidence that you are really labouring.”

“In your 20s, you must have figured out your entire life.”

But life is not something you can figure out all at once.

If God allowed us to figure everything out at once, He knows we humans might not even learn to trust Him.

Of course, God gives us a blueprint for our lives, and we need to keep trusting and following Him to discover the next phase of our lives.

Achievements are good.

Seeing results is very good.

But it becomes unhealthy when you lose yourself in the process of trying to become what society has asked you to become.

Your 20s are for becoming and knowing yourself.

Many people, out of pressure, no longer work with God’s blueprint but with the blueprint society has given them.

I understand that there is a place for doing the needful at the right time, but at the same time, don’t lose yourself.

Dear Becomer,

Breathe...

Just breathe.

You might not have it all figured out.

Invest in your growth and become a better person.

It is good to have plans and personal goals that state what you would like to achieve at a particular age.

But it becomes unhealthy when we allow the world’s blueprint to replace the blueprint and plan God has given us.

The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

My dear friends,

Keep trusting God. 🤍

Imagine being in a place without judgmental calm atmosphere, a gathering of beautiful people with kind hearts, hearts that have held a lot of hurt but still carry a joyful spirit.

Well, I experienced one on a beautiful Saturday, 8th August 2026: a beautiful hangout by a community filled with beautiful people, The Dear 20 Something Community.

The hangout was titled The Becoming Circle 2.0, and it had a beautiful theme: STILL HERE.

At first, it felt too cute and good for aesthetics, but beyond that, it is simply a consciousness that has somehow found its way into our hearts: that no matter what we have been through, we are still here.

I remember walking into the park on Saturday just to meet new people and forget the chaos going on in my world.

But guess what? Shyness said no. You are to act reserved because first impressions matter. 😂

I tried fighting the shy part of me. Well, I won towards the ending when I saw a friend.

I met beautiful people, and I enjoyed myself.

Anyways, enough about me. Let's make this more than just a regular newsletter, but a more calm and intentional one.

Dear Becomer,

On Saturday, I found out that a lot of us are going through a lot, but we know how to mask it, not because we don't want to talk, but because life has taught us to always be strong, no matter the situation.

Like we usually say, "When life throws you lemons, make lemonade out of them."

There is this unknown law that has been attached to being in your twenties: by then, you should have figured out what you want to do with your life. At twenty, you should have figured out your life. You should have figured out your purpose.

And we tend to feel pressured, not necessarily because we want to, but because society has placed a timeline on almost every one of our activities.

One thing made sense to me: you figure it out step by step, season by season.

Not by staying idle, but by understanding yourself first and discovering the value you can bring without having to perform.

Let me ask a very sincere question:

When was the last time you did something you loved without making it a performance because society has a very high level of expectation from you?

We have gotten to a point where we now mix up performance with doing something we love.

We were taught that choosing yourself is a selfish thing to do, especially when you are in seasons that feel life-threatening.

What happened to us healing and figuring things out without performance?

The convener said something that made me think: “Give God a part of you that you can't control, and also give Him the part you can control.”

Don't just give God the hard seasons. Give Him every part of you.

One of the highlights of that day was the song by the guest artiste, Victory Gbakara. He sang one of his songs, Best Years.

At first, I didn't get it.

But seeing the lyrics again gave me this feeling that seasons can be tiring, but hold on you are in the best years of your life.

Those words gave me a sense of hope.

Those tears you cry when nobody sees you, the hurt you have carried, the unspoken words you couldn't whisper to your friends but find yourself saying at midnight in the corner of your room they are not the end of you.

It is just a phase of your becoming.

There is a saying about silver being refined through a difficult process before it becomes pure. In relation to this, whatever battles we have fought, pains we have carried, and joy we have experienced are all part of our becoming.

The process is shaping us.

The refining is revealing something.

And perhaps, in the process, we begin to see ourselves becoming all we have always wanted to be.

Dear Becomer,

I might not be able to share all my experiences with you, but I want you to know something:

Enjoy life.

Learn lessons from the process.

I remember when we all read the affirmation card. A part of it caught my attention, especially the first paragraph. It is something I have always done:

"I didn't give up when giving up would have been the easiest thing in the world."

I sat with that line, and I remembered how I had given up a lot of times but still came back to achieve that thing.

The hug therapy session did something to me.

Just two different individuals with different personalities and perspectives coming together simply to serve as comfort to each other. Dropping every form of class and just coming as they are, without judgment, but somehow finding a way to tell each other:

"You will pull through."

"You don't have to carry the weight alone". is a phrase we normally hear, but my darling, I want you to look at it from a positive perspective and not from the negative aspect based on your experiences.

There is still hope for you.

The Bible says there is hope for a tree that has lost its roots, because at the scent of water, it springs forth back into life. (A paraphrased version.)

Don't give up.

The best years of your life are still coming.

Remember to always choose yourself whenever it matters.

Maybe next time, I will share all my experiences with you.

But for now, I love you, and you are not alone. ❤️

Give yourself the grace to enjoy your life.

You don't have to perform to get acceptance from people.

Till we meet again.❤️

The Lord's Scribe.🤍

Hmmm...

I don't know where to start. This is just a sweet handwritten letter from me to you.

If you had asked me two years ago if I was ever going to write again, I might have just smiled or thought about writing only about pain and romanticizing it.

A year ago today, I posted my very first Note on friendship. It had a lot of errors because I didn't know what it meant to be a writer. I just knew how to write. I knew how to pour my thoughts onto paper.

Reading that first post reminded me of something: I started writing with no idea of how to write, and today I can tell you there is a difference.

Like I said, today's article is not one of my letters to teach. It is simply me pouring my heart out.

Dear 153 subscribers (and still counting),

A year ago, I clicked the Publish button with no idea what I was doing.

Yet, you chose to stay.

You chose to trust me, support me, and cheer me on.

Unknowingly, every time I see a notification with an unread message, my heart becomes happy because... why would 153 people stop by just to read my letters?

I remember the nights when I would stress Adesomo Akorede mi just to ask how good my articles were and whether the world should even see them. That woman deserves her flowers. 🌸

To my friends who constantly engage with my work and even went as far as downloading Substack just to support me, thank you.

There were also days when I would ask ChatGPT for steps on building my Substack page and whether my writing was even worth it.

Looking back today, I can confidently say it keeps getting better every time I write.

I am grateful for the growth.

For every lesson learned.

For every moment I struggled to put words together.

For every challenge.

For every act of consistency.

I am grateful.

One year of becoming The Lord's Scribe writing the heart of my Father to people with broken hearts and hearts in need of healing and transformation.

One year of obeying the gentle nudge to write.

One year of becoming someone I never imagined I could be.

There were days I wanted to cry because of low engagement.

But I learned something:

What matters most is not the numbers.

What matters is that lives are being transformed through these words.

That someone somewhere is finding hope.

That hearts are being healed.

That these words are pointing people back to God.

For every experience, there is a lesson.

No matter how hard it gets, keep going.

Don't give up.

He who sends you will back you up.

Ọ̀ràn mi ò ṣe f'áyà tí. (ORANMONISEFAYATI.)

You may not see the results immediately, but consistent and faithful labour produces lasting fruit.

Don't compare your journey or your season with someone else's.

Once again,

Thank you.

I love you.

Here's to becoming stronger, wiser, and more faithful with every passing year. 🤍

As my little anniversary gift to you, go back and read The Dear Child of God letters again.

With love,

The Lord's Scribe. 🤍

Who would have imagined that a blank, unnoticed, and ordinary object would one day become a witness to a person’s healing?

It had no voice of its own, yet every word pressed into it felt like a heartbeat.

It contains so many colours of ink.

It contains the chaos in our hearts.

It contains the wounded parts of our spirits that nobody sees. It contains the happiness we cannot express, but can only can only pour onto it.

It has witnessed different seasons of our lives: The season of joy. 

The season of chaos.

The season when anger arrives unexpectedly.

The season of peace.

Yet, after receiving every word, it never complains.

Instead, it brings a sense of comfort.

 A Bleeding piece of paper 

It understands our tears. It endures our pain and hurts without complaining.

It allows us to journal whatever is in our hearts without judgment.

It is a place where we write to God without the letters travelling to Heaven, because Heaven has already seen them.

It is a place where we lay down our fears without it ever speaking our words to another soul.

It is only a piece of paper.

Yet, we don't get judged by it.

The Lord's Scribe.🤍

#Day 9 of the writing Challenge.

#Tclnscribes.

#theLord’sscribe🤍

Oh my lover.

⚠️ Reader's Note: For the full experience, read this while listening to Make You Feel My Love by AEO. 🤍

You will understand why soon...

If you had asked me last year what love meant to me, I would have hissed and said, "I don't need it. Christ is enough for me." Not because love is bad or something to be hated, but because I was tired of trying. I was tired of loving the wrong person at the wrong time.

However, I guess that narrative has changed.

Ever since I met you, you have shown me what love truly means. At first, I doubted not because it wasn't genuine, but because it felt so real. From past experiences, I believed that a wounded heart often struggles to receive genuine love.

Ade mi, you showed me what love truly meant without making me feel like I had to perform.

You trusted the process of my life even when it didn't make sense. You pushed me beyond my limits to become more.

Oh, is it the way you do things for me without me asking? The way you randomly remember the little things about me?

Covering me in prayers every day, making sure I never go a day without talking to my Maker.

Meeting you will always remind me that God saw what I needed and said, "Let me give you My son." Which is you.

Buying me one of my favourite food combinations bread and Pepsi and before long, you found yourself eating it too, without judging me.

For the sweet messages you send, and the words you say that make me feel like I am the only one that matters... Well... I am, jorrr. 😂

For the comfort you give in the smallest ways. At the slightest inconvenience, once you notice something is wrong with me, you always find a way to reassure me.

You are truly one of God's greatest gifts to me. Èrí ìfẹ́ Olúwa ló jẹ́ sí mi. 🥹

When Scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church," you have not become my husband, but you have shown me what godly love looks like. You have led me back to God in moments of doubt.

Anytime I remember how we met, it always leaves a smile on my face. I have never, for once, felt unloved or doubted you. Though we have our differences, I will choose you over and over again.

Èrí ìfẹ́ Olúwa sí mi.

So many things to say...But let me stop here, Ade mi. 🥹

Wait...

Wait, wait, wait...

Hold up.

I said waitttt ooo. 😂

We all want to have someone who loves us like this,We all deserve it.

But what if the relationship you need right now is a relationship with God?

What if He is using this season to heal a part of you?

I am not against love. In fact, it is one of my dreams to love someone this beautifully.

But don't expect a relationship to do what only a relationship with God can do.

I still desire love.

I still pray for my marriage.

But perhaps the greatest love story God is writing in this season is not between me and another person, but between Him and me.

Yesterday, during Family Gathering, we were asked a very honest question:

"What if God asked you to let go of something or even a particular emotion? Would you?"

I couldn't stop thinking about that question.I am not saying God doesn't want us to love someone. Of course He does.

But what if the reason He is not allowing you to enter a relationship just yet is because He wants to prepare you and strengthen your relationship with Him?

What if the timing you are resisting is actually making room for deeper growth?

What if God is preparing you in ways you don't yet recognize?

We often hear statements like, "Heal before you deal," meaning heal from the trauma before you step into something as sacred as a covenant.

A wounded heart often struggles to receive and give love freely until it begins to heal. Not because it is incapable of loving genuinely, but because it is often afraid of what might happen again.

I believe God desires wholeness for us. He desires that we allow Him to heal the places that have been wounded, especially the ones that may affect how we love and how we are loved.

Many times we hear people say, "He/She healed a part of me," and that is beautiful. But there are wounds that deserve our attention before we carry them into the next season of our lives.

There is a statement that says, "That two shall become one."

Let me explain it the way I was taught in church this year.

In mathematics:

1 + 1 = 2

½ + ½ = 1

But in marriage, we are taught that it is 1 + 1 = 1, not ½ + ½ = 1.

The point isn't that anyone has to become perfect before marriage. Rather, it is a reminder not to expect another person to complete what only God is shaping in us.

We should pursue wholeness in Christ, allowing Him to heal us as we grow, so that we enter a covenant ready to love from a place of health rather than expecting marriage itself to do the healing.

It is one of God's desires that we love with a genuine heart.

Share

Myself and did a thing.

Seyi's POV

Oh, that my soul finds rest.

For it has carried weight for so long.

For weariness has now become a language it understands.

For it has wandered for too long.

Oh, that my soul finds rest.

In Your presence,

For a raging storm has dwelt within my soul for a while.

The tears willing to tear me apart,

Yet refusing to fall.

Oh, that my soul finds rest.

Diary of Her POV

*Oh, That My Soul Finds Rest*

Oh, that my soul finds rest,

That I might truly find the friends I need.

For I no longer seek attention in the wrong places,

Nor trade my worth for fleeting praise.

Oh, that my soul finds rest,

For I find my true validation in Jesus alone.

I do not need the crowd to notice me,

So long as my Savior sees my heart.

Oh, that my soul finds rest,

Knowing that He sees me, fully and completely.

Oh, that my soul finds rest.

Dear Younger Oluwaseyifunmi,

Writing this letter to you again feels surreal, not because I don’t have words to say, but because I don’t think I have appreciated you enough.

You might be wondering if I have achieved all I wanted in life, but today is not about me but about you that I refused to pay attention to.

You might feel I am here to criticize you for not allowing me to experience some certain things but that would be so unfair.

Today please permit me to call you nickname everyone called you as a young child which is Pink Lady 🥹

My Dearest Pink Lady,

Thank you for staying true, you are one of the persons that has stayed true apart from God.

Thank you for trusting me even when I denied you certain things that were unfair to you.

You allowed me make mistakes without judging me, you allowed me make a lot of wrong decisions just because I wanted to sound matured.

There are days were all you want to do is play and not act to serious, but I was quick to shun you and dump the weight of responsibilities on you.

Thank you for bearing so many things at a very young age, looking at it now I feel like I wasn’t considerate enough to understand that your capacity can’t bear so much pain, you could have backed out, you could have rejected it because your body got worn out but you still stayed.

If I could go back in time and change certain things I would definitely make peace with you, fall in love with you without limit, make you my best friend. 🥹

However, there are still days when I wish I was still a child, so I can hide under the words of I am just a child. But every lesson I learnt, every of the tears I have shed, every of the pain we bore has now become a source of strength to myself and others.

I am proud of you

I am proud of your resilient self at a very young age.

I am proud of you staying true even when it never made sense.

I will keep saying this again that I still miss you, but I have to make you proud and not regret the results of my labour after all I have put you through.

I love you so much Younger Oluwaseyifunmi 🥹

#The Lord’s Scribe 🤍

#Day 4 of the writing Challenge..

Every morning, one room rings out with the echo of someone's prayers, while another is still trying to figure out what the day entails.

Those same walls have become silent keepers of conversations, bearing the pain of disappointments and the loud screams of victory.

The windows have watched the seasons change, serving as a means of helping someone focus on nature while figuring life out.

The door has welcomed joy and watched grief walk in uninvited.

The floor has carried the weight of dancing feet, feet too wobbly to walk after several disappointments, feet jumping in victory, knees bent in prayer, and tears dropping in moments of prayer and grief.

The kitchen has carried the weight of different kinds of hunger without complaining.

Every corner bears familiar voices echoing through it. Every part bears our fears, victories, and unspoken words. It is a place where love is first understood without having to do much.

It will always be my favorite place.

Hii my people,

I think it is safe to say that I have missed you people. 😚

We should just do a little bit of catching up later.

If you ask me what are the things I have been noticing about this year, I would say people are trying to carve a name or identity for themselves. They are trying to build a name that would last, an identity that people would love and want to associate with.

If this is not properly managed, it often becomes pressure not the pressure to become genuinely better, but the pressure to show the world that you too know how to ball.

In seasons like this, we tend to wonder if we are truly growing, if we have our identity figured out, and if we are truly labouring at all. The pressure begins to drown us, fear takes over, and it drowns out the voice of God.

But Dear Child of God,

If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that true labour often produces results. You can't see the results of your growth immediately, but you will see them.

Just like when we write exams in school, we don't see our results immediately. We see them after a period of marking and evaluation.

As touching identity, you can only find yourself in Christ. Just like the song says,

"When I know You, I find me."

Keep fellowshipping with Him through prayer, studying His Word, and seeking knowledge. You will surely know who you are, and you will know your purpose.

The issue of purpose is one of the things that bothers some of us because of the fear of not doing the right thing, even when it feels right.

Dear Child of God,

Don't compare your season with your friends'.

Whatever the Lord has placed in your hands, please do it with all diligence.

You might not see the results immediately, but it is better to start small than to keep waiting until you have it all.

Don't feel pressured.

Keep pushing.

Keep investing in your growth.

Special thanks to our Super Mom E.

And our big Aunty Korede.

It is because of them that you people are seeing a series today ooo.

Till we meet again. 🥹

From a heart learning God. 🤍

I was having a conversation with a friend this evening about how many men struggle to be vulnerable not because they don’t want to, but because they have been taught that crying is a sign of weakness.

It is a conversation we often shy away from, but it saddens me that so many of them have to carry this burden in silence.

And so, if I may...

May it please this honorable court

My Lord, announcing appearance before this Honorable Court is O. D. Salu, learned counsel appearing on behalf of the silent ones who have long needed a voice.

When did we decide that vulnerability was evidence of weakness?

Oh my Lord,

Shall I come forward to present the concerns of my client?

My client has pleadings concerning laws that should be changed.

My client humbly prays that this Honorable Court of Justice would strike out the stereotype that equates vulnerability with weakness.

That this Court, known for justice and equity, would also uphold justice in matters of vulnerability.

My client humbly submits that:

Emotions should not be defined by gender.

That men, too, are human.

That tears should not be measured by gender.

That their silence should not be mistaken for strength.

That asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness.

That their strength should not be measured by their masculinity alone.

We have watched these people carry more than they could bear, and we have called it strength simply because they are men.

My client humbly requests that this Honorable Court look into this.

They do not have to bleed in silence and cover it up with polished statements of, “I am fine.”

They do not have to hold on to pain just to prove how strong they are.

Your Honour,

You may want evidence, and I have plenty of it.

We witness this every day, and these people are tired of pretending to be strong when they are not.

My client further submits that they have carried enough burdens they were never allowed to speak about.

They have been taught survival from a very young age. They have been taught to suppress their tears, and we have praised their silence. We have mistaken emotional restraint for maturity.

They have worn strength like an Agbada, even when their hearts simply wanted to rest.

They are tired of holding on when all they want is peace.

My client therefore prays that this Honorable Court would declare vulnerability not as weakness, but as courage.

May it please this Honorable Court.

The Lord's Scribe 🤍

Most times I wonder why certain people go through some painful experiences.

I once wondered if only certain things people go through are real or they are just saying it, until certain events started happening to me too.

I also saw people go through a lot, and I felt I also wanted to go through it.

I felt that was one of the things needed to show that I am also an adult.

In my years of going through a lot, I realized that every one of the situation was never handled by my own strength. At first I questioned God at some point because things like this should not happen to your own children.

I stopped speaking to Him because vulnerability was not something that existed in my dictionary or can be fetched from my word bank.

I struggled with carrying the weight alone until the Scripture of “We do not have a High Priest who is not affected by our infirmities” came into existence in my word bank, even if I still struggle at times.

Every season you go through, you are to learn a lesson from it. Even the ones you set yourself in, there is always a lesson.

You might be wondering why I am saying this. I know there are still people like this (me) who use the phrase of “He won’t give us more than we can bear” just to comfort and avoid ourselves from being vulnerable.

One of the lessons I learnt is we go through certain phases so we can teach or help other people who are in that phase.

One of our friends, Esther, hosted a worship meeting today tagged True Rest, and one thing began to make sense to me: we all have a part to play in our lives, and God also does,don’t play the role or the part God is supposed to play in your life; don’t be impatient by judging your timeline with God’s own. Don’t say the healing should be “I want it.” Once God has said that He would do it, just rest and keep trusting(I might just write some of the things I learnt in my next writing).

Another lesson I learnt is that He is your Anchor. He is there to strengthen you and bear the burden with you.

Dear friends, don’t get tired. This phase too shall pass. Don’t see it from the lens of punishment, but look at the greater glory ahead of you. I know it is hard, but cheer up and be of good faith.

If you have to cry, please do. Journal, but please keep trusting.

The Lord’s Scribe.🤍

If you had asked me a few months back if I was going to be able to keep up with Substack, I would have said I wasn’t brilliant or intelligent enough to keep writing.

Yet, here we are.

To the first 5, 10, 20, 30, 40... all the way to the first 100 beautiful souls who believed in me and saw light, clarity, and direction in my writing, thank you very much.

I am trying my best not to cry.

To some people, 100 subscribers may not be a big deal. To me, it is.

It means that people saw my writing, and somehow, it spoke to their hearts.

These 100 people represent more than just a number to me.

Every time I opened the Substack app and saw a notification, I was reminded that people had seen my work and found light in it.

Every time the subscriber count increased by one, I was reminded that words have a way of finding the people who need them.

I once thought of giving up.

There were days with no engagements, no notifications, and I wondered if I wasn’t being visible.

But somehow, you chose to stay.

You chose to read.

You trusted me to bring the Word of God to you.

This is me saying, Thank youuuuuu. 🥹

Thank you for believing in me.

I love youuuuuu. 🥹❤️

With love,

Seyi
The Lord’s Scribe 🤍

Dear Younger Oluwaseyifunmi, 🥹

Sitting down and reflecting on certain things that have happened over the past few years of my life, I realized that I did not appreciate you enough for not giving up.

This is me saying that I am proud of you.

This is me saying thank you for staying through it all.

I did not acknowledge the fears you faced or the scars you carried. I put you through so much without even apologizing.

There are days when your carefree childlike attitude wants to show, and I end up shunning you in an attempt to act mature. Then there are days when I simply allow you to express yourself. You learnt responsibility and how to deal with emotional hurts at a very young age.

There were days when you fought confusion. You battled low self-esteem, pressure, identity struggles, and seasons when you cried because that was the only way you knew how to express yourself.

There were seasons when you wore a facade like a badge of honour.

I know why you were scared.

I know why you built walls.

You were afraid of being broken again.

There were seasons when you wanted to believe certain prophecies concerning your life, but doubt took over.

You have fought well.

You have built strength.

And you will survive.

There will still be seasons when you cry, and seasons when uncertainties about the future try to creep in. When those moments come, do not be hard on yourself.

Just remember who you are.

Those tears will not last forever.

He is giving you beauty in place of those tears.

There will be seasons when He will hold your hand and not judge you. God did not forget you, and He will never forget you.

You will find your voice soon.

Those waiting seasons will not last forever.

I am sorry for comparing you to others when you were simply trying to understand the weight I placed on the innocent version of you.

I am sorry for wishing you could skip certain seasons.

You have been patient enough with me, and I love you.

Thank you for staying.

Thank you for not giving up.

Thank you for trusting the process.

The journey ahead may not always be rosy.

There will be days when you cry not because you are weak, but because you do not want to repeat certain mistakes. There will be days when motivation will not be enough to sustain you. Days when your own strength will not be able to carry you through.

You will wait.

You will question.

You will doubt.

But do not be afraid, Emmanuel is with you.

One day, you will look back and realize that God was with you all along. As I write this today, I realize that you were never as weak as you thought you were. You were simply learning, growing, and becoming.

I love you, Oluwaseyifunmi. 🥹❤️

I am proud of you.

Happy Birthdayyyyy. 🥹

The journey of becoming continues. 🤍

I would have said, "Welcome back to the Dear Child of God series," but this particular one is a bonus chapter because my birthday is in 5 dayssss timeeee (proceeds to scream).

If you have noticed, over the past few days I have been writing about lessons from my journey in life,the struggles, fears, emotions, friendships, and vulnerability. Today is not all about me, but about you.

Today's piece is a reminder of what God is saying to you in this season.

I have so many things to say, sincerely. My heart is with you all, and I want to encourage you that no matter how hard you think it is, God is still there.

Most of us are in certain seasons of our lives where we begin to question a lot of things regarding our existence, purpose, identity, and relationship with God.

Questions like:

“ What is my place in God's plan?

“Does God still love me?

“ Look at how much my friends have grown, Why am I not visible yet?

“This pain, why is it still here?

Those questions are not asked because you are ungrateful. They are simply you voicing your feelings because you are unsure of the next step to take. You feel stuck. You feel unworthy.

But this is me reminding you that He will not give you more than you can bear.

I have asked questions like these and many more. When life felt overwhelming, I became a shadow of myself. When life felt too heavy for me to handle, I appeared fine to the outside world. I looked strong, but inside I was weak, tired, and breaking apart.There were seasons when the Word of God felt like it was not enough. Seasons when my prayers felt unheard. Yet, prayer became my only comfort at the end of the day.

There were seasons when tears were the only language I could speak not because I loved crying, but because I was seeing things through the lens of my weakness. I felt heavy.

I understand how you feel in this season.

I understand how you are trying to figure out what to do in the next stage of your life. I understand how you are still dwelling on things that once broke you because you do not yet understand that there is a reason behind everything that happens.

I know this sounds familiar, and I know you have probably heard something similar before, but let me say it again:

Dear Child of God,

"For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses..."

You are not forgotten.He remembers you.

Trust God.Trust Him to make decisions with you as you partner with Him in faith.

When you begin to worry, you are simply trying to carry a burden that was never meant for you alone.

If He clothes the lilies with beauty and splendour, how much more you?

If the birds of the air do not worry about what they will wear or where they will sleep, how much more you, who are made in His image?

When life gets heavy, talk to God.

Do not live your life trying to prove to people that you eventually made it to the top. Do not build your life on people's validation.

If this season feels heavy and confusion is setting in, do not panic. Ask for clarity.

If you feel like you do not know your purpose, relax.Do not pressure yourself.

Keep asking. Know your identity. Pay attention to instructions.

Do not get tired.

Do not do this life alone. Involve Jesus.

Every lesson matters in your journey of becoming.

Sincerely, I pray for you from my heart that the Lord strengthens you. I pray that you will be able to hand over every burden and weight you carry to Jesus. I pray that the Lord will uphold you on every side.

The journey of becoming continues. 🤍

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Kofo, Tope and Tobi

Well, this particular one is dedicated to them.

When the Bible said a friend sticks closer than a brother, it didn’t really make sense to me at first. But for the past few years of my life, I have experienced it fully. I remember in 200 level when I was so lost, I came across a very beautiful person who took me in. She was a year ahead of me in class, and we have come a very long way since then.

I remember people asking me how I managed most of my friends being ahead of me in school. I didn’t really have many friends at my level; I would easily wave it off and not think too deeply about it. Reality dawned on me when they had their final year thanksgiving on the 25th of May. I said I was never going to cry, but guess what? I did.

I cried because these people have been a strong pillar of support my strength, my sisters, my sponsors. I have learnt resilience, godliness, prayer, love, and peace from these girls.

Well, yesterday was their sign-out. I didn’t cry. I still don’t want to fully believe it, but they have to end an era to begin another one. They have scolded me when I was doing the wrong thing, and corrected me in love. They have wiped my tears, prayed for me, and prayed with me.

We fought, but we came back stronger. We had differences, but we still understood what purpose meant. Looking back at how I started, I realize that most of what I have achieved in this school happened because of them. They taught me what it means to be serious and intentional.

These people have been my safe space. I can be a lot to deal with, sincerely, but they have never gotten tired of me. From dragging me to fellowships to planning how to miss departmental rehearsals on Fridays.

Myself and Kofo 🥹

Kofoworola – The Pastor, businesswoman, the strict one, the one who expresses love in a very weird manner, the goal getter, my sister. (LL.B bagged)

Adura – The Prophet, also the strict one, the calm but no-nonsense one, the sweet one, jack of all trades, the wise one. (Omo English Department)

Tope – The prophetic minstrel, the sweetest of all, the businesswoman too, our “mummy,” our sugar mummy. (LL.B bagged)

Tobi – Our Chief Judge, scholar, speaker, writer, unromantic one just like Kofo, resilient one. (LL.B bagged)

Aduragbemi

This is me openly saying thank you for being a part of my journey for holding my hand. For giving me sense, for the free wisdom classes I have received from you all. This is one of the ways I can express my love for you people, because it is not easy to have someone that writes like this.

I have learnt that certain friendships will leave you with nothing, but in this case, I have learnt from you people. If you want to see me in my other elements, then ask them.

I can’t express myself fully, but this is me saying this openly: I love you people ❤️

Thank you for making 2 years in this school worth it.

Thank youuuu for making friendship and sisterhood sweet ❤️

See you at the top, my loves.

I still wonder how I will survive in this school, but I will. Suddenly remembering that next year I won’t go to CLASFON convention with these beautiful people is a lot.

I love youuuuuu my women 🥹❤️

See you soon ❤️

Feel free to call me ore graduatessss please 🥹🤭

I am so proud of this ones sincerely 🥹

The journey of becoming continues 🤍

Well, it seems like this is going to be one of my most vulnerable writings.

Vulnerability, in psychology and relationships, means opening up, showing your true feelings, and allowing yourself to be emotionally exposed without guaranteeing a positive outcome. While it can feel like a weakness, it is often viewed as a form of courage and a driver of deep, authentic connections.

For a long time, I never opened up to people. I loved my space. I enjoyed keeping certain things to myself. When I saw people cry during worship, it seemed cringe. I never understood the dynamics of having a relationship with God. I grew up in a Christian home, and my relationship with God was simply participating in church activities, attending night devotions, and learning my memory verses so I could show other kids that I knew my Bible.I never knew you could talk to God about a situation that hurt you. As a child, hurt was not really something I acknowledged. It was there, but I never knew how to express it or even find a solution to it.

Emotional trauma never existed in my world. Trauma sounded foreign. Not because nothing traumatized me, but because I had no words for it. I was just a girl carrying a lot on her shoulders without knowing how to put it down so she could be free.

To me, vulnerability sounded like an impossible task. It sounded like weakness.

Finally, a day came when I told someone close to me about certain incidents that I had held on to for so long. I expected judgment. At the same time, I expected pity, sympathy, and everything that came with it.

That was how I started becoming vulnerable with people to an extent, but not with God. It still sounded foreign to me.

Then an incident happened where I became very bare with a particular person, and my vulnerability was taken advantage of. I concluded that I was never going to tell people about certain events again.Yet, somehow, I still did.

Vulnerability with friends was quite difficult. I had this mindset that I was becoming a burden to my friends and the people around me. Many times, when I tried to voice out my feelings, there was always a war raging inside me.

Over time, I learnt that vulnerability with God is coming before Him bare. No hiding. No mincing of words. No shame. No fear. Just you before God, expressing your emotions and your true self. I learnt this in a loving but hard manner.A particular incident happened, and I felt so hurt that I could not pray. When I finally prayed, it was to build capacity, not to acknowledge the hurt before God. I was in denial for months.

My friends prayed for me, but I never told God how I felt.

We all know that God has His own timing. A friend instructed me to take the hurt to God. That was when I realized that I was angry. My response was cold: "Where was He when the incident happened?" For days, I struggled to express those words spell out the hurt. I tried crying while praying, but my heart had built walls. I struggled to let out the words and the tears. I fought with my feelings.

Being broken by God and refined by Him taught me that the process would be painful. You will cry, but you will come out stronger.

I often heard people say, "I spoke to God about this."

I desired that kind of relationship, but I did not know how to go about it.

I tried it once and saw how beautiful it was.I still felt scared, but I started telling Him about certain things, and it got to a point where I could cry and receive comfort.

Vulnerability with God taught me that God is interested in turning my weakness into strength. He saw it happen, yet He still wants you to talk to Him about it.He knows how you felt, but He still wants to hear it from you.

I am saying this to someone who desires to be vulnerable before God: it involves being broken, being refined, and allowing your heart to be worked on.

Then you will see how beautiful it is to be yourself before God.

Also, in the spirit of Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, this is me telling every male out there that you are allowed to be vulnerable with the right set of people.

It is not about being weak; it is about acknowledging that you are human.

We have conditioned the male child to always be strong and never show any sign of weakness.

We have instilled the mindset that vulnerability has no place in a man's life.

Maybe if we look at David in the Bible, we will better understand what it means to be truly bare before God.

A man may want to complain about the responsibilities placed on him, yet he has to think twice before voicing it out to his friends.

To every male reading this:

You are allowed to express yourself. You are allowed to be vulnerable. I love you, and I am rooting for you. ❤️

The journey of becoming continues. 🤍

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There was a time when my emotions determined how I responded to situations. You hurt me, and I became distant. If the world became too noisy for me to handle, I withdrew. When certain situations looked like disappointment, I avoided them without even trying. Emotions made me feel like a project that God was just managing.

They made me time the period when my prayers should be answered. I felt my prayers should be answered with the intensity of my tears, so I judged based on my own timeline.

It was me bypassing opportunities because fear stood gallantly like a soldier, reminding me of how unqualified I was and what the outcome of trying could be.

It was me feeling dejected.Feeling abandoned by God and people.

Emotions taught me that they can be the reaction to a particular incident, but what is the solution? Faith.

Emotions are valid and real, but they are not always accurate. They can teach you that nobody cares, that you are all alone, and advise you to withdraw, when in reality, you were never alone.

They remind you of certain things that have happened before and advise you to pick up a defence mechanism.

They teach you coping mechanisms to survive.

Emotions were:

You looking at a situation through pain and not acknowledging Jesus in the situation with you.You looking at the past and present but not trusting the future.

Speaking to you, telling you not to trust people and that you have to figure everything out on your own.

Teaching you to depend on what makes you happy for now instead of the permanent joy.

My emotions became my counsellor, not because I did not trust God, but because I felt unloved.

Emotions became a defensive shield. Before anything good or bad could happen, I was already walking away from the opportunity.

I had no control over my emotions.

Emotions make poor leaders. You judge and lead from emotions rather than wisdom.

Emotions should be acknowledged because they reveal both how weak and how strong we can be.

At times, emotions enable us to make wrong decisions because we do not want to hurt the feelings of others.

Emotions teach you to see from a place of weakness.

Certain instructions were delayed, not because I did not know what to do, but because emotions became my friend, asking me questions about disappointment, failure, and not getting it right.

Faith is:

God telling you to trust Him, regardless of the situation.

The thing that fixes the aftermath of your tears. After crying and crashing out, faith is you coming back to God and handing it over to Him.

Faith is believing and seeing from a place of victory.

Faith is God telling you, “No matter the situation, I am with you.”

Faith requires trusting beyond evidence, beyond seeing the outcome.

Faith is God’s way of telling you to trust Him, partner with Him, and look beyond your emotions.

It is a reminder to look beyond the situation and see the future ahead.

Faith taught me that my feelings were temporary, but they did not change the character of God.

Faith showed me the Fatherhood of God.

Emotions were not bad. They were indicators. They were not my enemy; they were simply trying to warn me. They revealed parts of me that I never wanted to acknowledge. They were signals reminding me that I was human.

Choosing my emotions over faith taught me that emotions may be good and may make you feel good, but they can be terrible decision-makers.

“Emotions are valid and real, but when your convictions, strength, and values are being tested, emotions cannot sustain you”.

“Emotions cannot stand the test of time.”

The journey of becoming continues. 🤍

Fear is a very funny thing. Fear can disguise itself as procrastination. It can sometimes mean trusting that the right time will come, knowing fully well that you are scared.

If you ask me what my biggest fear is, I might simply say not wanting to fail God or not achieving my goals. Those answers are valid, but reflecting on them took me back to situations where fear felt like an escape route from responsibilities, and it cost me many opportunities.

At a young age, fear and I had a very close relationship. Fear can be a valid reason for not doing certain things at times because you believe you do not have the courage or capacity to do them.

Growing up as a young child, I battled with a lot of fear. Fear was an escape route from responsibilities. After finding my footing in Christ, I still had certain fears concerning some things.

Fear does not have to be loud; it can just be a faint voice reminding you of what happened the last time you tried, reminding you to be realistic and not try at all.

I remember when I went to write an entrance examination and, out of fear, I vomited because I felt I was going to fail. Fear is what makes us see failure as an enemy, but it is often part of our journey to growth.

It reminds you that you do not have the strength or courage to do something. If you had asked me to do something back then, my instant reply would have been “No.”

Fear teaches you to trust only in your own capacity and not look at the Creator. At times, fear sounds like it is correcting your thinking and telling you not to try something new. It sounds like overprotectiveness; it is trying to protect you from the outcome if you fail.

Fear teaches you that failure should not be a part of your success story.

Fear limits you from seeing through the lens of God and causes you to see through the lens of your weaknesses.

Over the years, if you moved close to me, you would have noticed that fear was always hovering around me because I did not have an understanding of who I was or what I possessed as a child of God.

If you asked me to do something, a lot of reasons would immediately begin running through my head. Fear came as overthinking, making me think of the outcome before it even happened.

Fear taught me certain things.

Fear can be a valid signal. It shows that you are trying to know the authenticity of an instruction, but when it becomes deeply rooted in your belief system, it becomes a problem.

Fear exposed my insecurities.

It revealed where I lacked trust.

In a way, fear taught me how to protect my feelings, even though it was not always the right approach. It constantly reminded me of the outcome of trying certain things.

It made me make statements like, “I am waiting for the right time,” knowing fully well that the right season was near, but I simply did not have the courage.

The fear of events repeating themselves is often an attempt to protect yourself from going through the same thing again. It teaches you how to handle such situations differently.

Fear of not doing the right thing is valid,Fear of not doing enough, Fear of failing yourself, Fear of failing God.

These fears are scary, but they can teach you an important lesson: to ask questions and to ask God questions.

Fear was not an enemy; it was a teacher.

It played a certain role in my journey.

The journey of becoming continues. 🤍

God of my journey, I am grateful for how far I have come.

If you ask me why I am grateful, I would mention a lot of things. I have had my ups and downs, my losses and victories. As my birthday approaches, I find myself reflecting on certain things, past events, and certain lessons I have learnt. Some lessons came gently, while some lessons came as a storm. Certain lessons came with tears, waiting seasons, friendships, and managing certain responsibilities.

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I am not only grateful for the good things; I am also grateful for the things that didn’t go as planned, but from which lessons were learnt. I am grateful for the times I was able to express myself through tears; they reminded me that my emotions are valid.

I am grateful for the journey, not just for the age I am turning, but for the lessons I have learnt.

Grateful for confusion turning into clarity. For the times when I wanted to give up because I wasn’t getting results, I am grateful for the strength to stay and learn the lessons in those seasons.

This is me saying:

Dear God,

Thank You for the wisdom to deal with matters. Thank You for the strength to carry on. Thank You for the lessons learnt, seasons that felt tiring, and seasons that felt energetic. Thank You for the patience to navigate life.

Instead of keeping these reflections to myself, I decided to write about them. Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing a series of essays on fear, friendship, waiting, faith, vulnerability, healing, self-esteem, adulthood, and the journey of becoming.

This is not a celebration of having it all figured out, but a way to celebrate every lesson and every stage of the journey of becoming.

So, this is my invitation to you: join me as I unravel the lessons I have learnt over the years.

The journey of becoming continues.

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Note: This is what goes on with every believer at some point. This explains what happens when our devotion feels like a chore and it becomes a performance.

“Ayo, you have to go to church every day, it is a must to serve God. Oh, you can’t do this, you are a Pastor’s son. Oh, you can’t do this, you are from a Christian home.”

We are familiar with those phrases, right?Those phrases are not wrong. What makes it feel forced is us not having a clear understanding of what serving God and having a personal relationship with Him feels like. We often hear words like, “She is a Pastor’s child,” “He is a Christian,” “He is supposed to know salvation without being taught,” because it is expected that when you come into this world, you already have it all figured out.

Finally, you know what it means to have a relationship with God. At first, it didn’t feel like a chore, you always enjoyed the company. Your mindset was built on the foundation of “I must always show up.” Slowly, consistency became you just making attendance with Heaven whenever you came to the place of prayer. You were not taught that when you feel weak to pray, acknowledge it and tell God instead of feeling like an outcast.

Your devotion started feeling like a chore. You had the mindset of, “Let me just pray and study, that is what my parents taught me.” At times, we tend to be lazy and say, “God will understand.” From the statement of “God understands” to you not praying for a week because you felt God would understand that you were very busy.

But, intimacy is built through VULNERABILITY, SINCERITY, TRUST AND OBEDIENCE.

Intimacy is you coming bare before God, acknowledging your weaknesses in prayer, not just you asking or praying in the Spirit for long.

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However, you struggled with your devotion going down the drain, but you believed accountability in such areas would draw judgment from people who looked up to you. You were still praying, but you didn’t just stay.

Slowly, without an invitation, performance became your thing. You wanted people to see you as someone who was a faithful labourer. You served in a department, every Sunday people saw you as the one who modeled Christ perfectly, but deep down they didn’t know the chaos going on in your spirit, where clarity and confusion began to sound alike because they both started with the letter C. You allowed all that because you felt people in the church saw you as the perfect person.

What you don’t know is that performance feels right until you have a Heart Check. It is EYE-SERVICE, PERFORMANCE LOOKING LIKE TRUE SERVICE AND WORSHIP, RESPONSIBILITY PLACED ON YOU BY PEOPLE LOOKING LIKE GOD’S ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU, PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS OF YOU REPLACING GOD’S OWN.

All this wasn’t your fault, you just didn’t understand how much God loves seeing you in His presence. You were not used to the system of intimacy. You didn’t really understand why you were to tell God how you felt when He already saw it. You wanted more because you saw people taking territories for God and you felt if you served and people saw you, you would be recommended. What you didn’t know was that they all stayed with God.

There are days where you will cry and feel like God never wanted to hear you, and you switched to just going to God to pray as a believer is supposed to, study the Word with a closed mind, and go about your day.

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Dear friends, don’t beat yourself up, don’t feel bad. There are times when you are allowed to feel tired, but acknowledge it before God. Your tears are valid, cry if you want to. At times, what God just wants to hear is how your day went, you ranting about everything. At times, it is just Him wanting to hear about the argument that happened during the day and how you handled it badly before He corrects you. At times, He might just be telling you, “Don’t talk, just listen,” and it might be for you to just write. At times, it might just be for you to make intercessions.

You wanting to take certain assignments for God is you staying. Trying to know your purpose is staying with the Creator to know the manual for your life. What we don’t understand is that intimacy might feel hard sometimes, especially when you are getting corrected, when you are told to drop a certain attitude. It is a place of forging, transformation, and understanding.

When devotion feels like a chore, don’t beat yourself up, just go back to God and pour it all out. Don’t compare another person’s relationship with God.

Don’t judge the intensity of your prayers, rather intimacy is based on sincerity and obedience.

People say “see-finish” is when people see you every time, but with God, He wants to see you every time.He never gets tired of your presence. You may feel like you have nothing new to say, but God still wants you there. Not because of what you can offer, but because intimacy was always the goal.

Till we meet again.

From a heart learning God 🤍

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