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Why Pray for Defeat

In Psalm 70, David prays for God not just to deliver the humble (vv. 1, 4-5), but also to defeat the proud: “Let them be put to shame and confusion who seek my life! Let them be turned back and brought to dishonor who delight in my hurt! Let them turn back because of their shame who say, ‘Aha, Aha!’” (Ps 70:2-3). As the king of Israel, David calls down curses on the enemies of God who seek to take his life.^[1] “Put to shame” calls for their public humiliation, while “confusion” means to confound their evil plots and to disappoint their wickedness. David pleads with God to turn them back as they rush headlong into sin, for they gloat over his demise and delight in his dishonor. The interjection, “Aha!” expresses double scorn (35:21). So, David trusts that their defeat is the way God brings them to repentance.

Amazingly, these same insults would be thrown at David’s Greater Son as he hung upon the cross and endured the mocking shame of others: “And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, ‘Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!’” (Mark 15:29-30). Unlike David, though, Jesus wasn’t helpless. For it wasn’t nails that held him to the cross, but his love for you and me. Instead of taking sinful vengeance, he trusted God to handle it: “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Pet 2:23). So, this loving restraint of Christ resulted in our salvation as “he himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness” (v. 24). Like David, Jesus knew that wicked men plotted to take his life, so he prayed for God to thwart their plans—to put a roadblock in their way and dishonor those who delight in evil. Jesus knew his Father opposed the proud, yet also that their defeat might lead many to repentance.

We thank the Lord for his abundant mercy, since we too were numbered among the wicked and deserving of God’s wrath (Eph 2:1-5). Yet instead of destroying us on the spot, Christ confounded us. He ruined our rebellious plans and revealed our lostness apart from him. And then, he saved us by handing us the “gift of defeat” so that we might turn in repentance to him.

How to Pray for Defeat

As we pray for God to defeat the proud, we pray not with vengeance but with compassion—not for self-vindication, but for God to be glorified. When we see evil in this fallen world, we are right to be angry at what angers the heart of God. We pray against those who do harm to others or stir up conflict in relationships. We pray against those who hate the church and slander Christ. We pray against abusers and predators and extortioners: “Stop them in their tracks, Lord. Confound their wicked plots. Bring them to public shame.” Perhaps the kindness of defeat will lead to their repentance (Rom 2:4; e.g., Acts 9).

Sometimes, though, such prayers hit closer to home. How do you pray for a prodigal who walks away from God or a spouse who abandons your marriage. You don’t pray for God to bless their sinful lifestyle—to make it seem like everything’s okay. Instead, you pray for justice to be done and for their heart to change. You cry out for repentance even if that means the Lord must humble them. Perhaps they need to hit rock bottom before coming to their senses in the pig slop of the far country (Luke 15:13-19). If you love them, compassion prays for their defeat: “God, stop their sin. Strike them down with godly sorrow. Bring them back to you with genuine repentance.” Out of compassion, you pray for God to disappoint their plans. Then, out of compassion, you welcome them with open arms when they return (Luke 15:20-24).

When to Pray for Defeat

We must always pray for God’s will to be done, but God’s will might include defeating the sinner. For as a loving Father, God pursues his wayward children in a myriad of ways. Initially, God’s Spirit calls us through his Word to follow in obedience. In the Christian life, those who love the Lord will do what he commands (John 15:14). At times, of course, God must persuade or warn the stubborn. He might use the influence of others to pressure with accountability (Gal 6:1). And if these methods still meet resistance, God will eventually apply his loving discipline (Heb 12:5-6).

So, we pray with God’s compassion for God’s will to be accomplished. We even pray for God’s discipline if it rescues our loved one, for momentary affliction is far better than eternal condemnation (2 Cor 7:8-11). Praying for defeat is one more way we can speak the truth in love.

Practice Praying Psalm 70:

• Lord, help me! Come quickly to deliver me! (vv. 1, 5).

• Bring the wicked to repentance, or else bring them to face justice (vv. 2-3).

• Then, may the faithful rejoice and be glad in you (v. 4a).

• And may your name be praised forevermore! (v. 4b).

^[1] These enemies are not impersonal strangers, but most likely include Absalom, David’s own son (2 Sam 15-19).

Trust God’s Sovereignty (vv. 1-4)

David brings his concerns before the sovereign God: You rejected us; You broke our defenses; You have been angry; You caused the land to quake; You tore open the city walls; You made your people see things hard to bear; You gave us the cup of wrath until we staggered around like drunkards (vv. 1-3). In the battle, though, he rallies us to a place of safety and keeps us out of bowshot (v. 4). For our God is ultimately sovereign and never taken by surprise (Isa 45:7). We may not know his purposes in every trial, but we know he has a plan (Prov 19:21).

We see the greatest picture of God’s sovereign love at the cross of Jesus Christ, for the greatest tragedy in human history was the death of God’s own Son. The disciples thought Jesus dying on the cross was a horrible idea (Matt 16:21-23). Yet only through Christ’s sufferings, could God bring about salvation. His death stood in place of ours. His sacrifice paid the price we owed. So, God’s plan redeemed our failed human plans. And if God had a purpose for the suffering of his own Son, then he certainly has a purpose for us as well (Rom 8:31-32). For this reason, we can trust God’s sovereignty when life doesn’t go according to our plans.

Receive God’s Word (vv. 5-8)

David continues, “That your beloved ones may be delivered, give salvation by your right hand and answer us!” (Ps 60:5). David prays for God to keep his promises because God alone has the power to save. His right hand is stronger than all of Israel’s enemies. And only the one true God can hear and answer prayers. Thus, “God has spoken in his holiness” (v. 6a). He grounds his promises upon his character, for his words are always right and true (Ps 33:4). All the earth belongs to him (60:6b-7), including Israel’s enemies: “Moab is my washbasin; upon Edom I cast my shoe; over Philistia I shout in triumph” (v. 8).

When God speaks, we can trust his Word. And even when our plans get frustrated, we know that he still loves us (Rom 8:35, 37-39). As God declares, “Your whole life belongs to me. Your horrible job situation is my washbasin. Don’t fear your cancer as I throw my shoe at it. I claim victory over your troubled marriage. I judge those bullies who won’t leave you alone. And I am preparing a glorious eternity where sin and sickness will harm you no more (Rev 21:4-5). No matter what happens to your plans in this present life, you are always my beloved.” So, we trust God’s sovereignty as we receive God’s Word.

Follow God’s Plan (vv. 9-12)

Then lastly, follow God’s plan. David will take the fight to Petra (Ps 60:9)—Edom’s impregnable fortress built directly into the limestone cliff and only accessible through a narrow canyon. The passage is so tight, in places, that just a few brave soldiers can hold off an entire army. Yet David does not shrink from danger. He insists that God must lead them into battle, for Israel has been devastated by recent losses (v. 10). David depends on God instead of military prowess. They cannot win the battle unless God is on their side: “Oh, grant us help against the foe, for vain is the salvation of man! With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes” (vv. 11-12). The Hebrew word for “help” (ezer) does not just mean some small assistance, but a person with power rescuing the needy (see 70:5).

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So, what’s your Petra—your seemingly impossible situation? Perhaps your plans seem frustrated at every turn. The people around you are all against you, and then, you even sabotage yourself. Yet God has chosen you as his precious child and promises victory over all your enemies. So, even when your plans get frustrated, you can turn to God in prayer. Tell him about your Petra—the fortified city that threatens to overcome you. Call on him to lead you into danger and to do what seems impossible. Submit to his powerful help, then work hard at whatever he has given you to do (Col 3:23-24). In your own strength, you will surely fail. But with God’s help, you will conquer valiantly (John 15:1-11).

Life Application:

1. Describe a recent time your plans were frustrated. What were you thinking or feeling at the time? How did you respond to your situation (Prov 19:21)?

2. How does the promise of God’s enduring love for you change the way you view your present suffering (Ps 60:5; Rom 8:38-39)?

3. Reflect on this quote from John Newton: “Trials are medicines which our gracious and wise physician prescribes, because we need them; and he proportions the frequency and weight of them to what the case requires.”

4. What’s your Petra—your impossible challenge in life? Ask God to help you valiantly take on that challenge. Claim his love for you and his allotted blessings, then step out boldly in an act of faith (Josh 1:8-9).

Pray Psalm 60:

1. O God, I hate it when my plans get frustrated, but thankfully you’re in control (vv. 1-3).

2. Give me the strength to keep on following you (v. 4).

3. Remind me that I am your beloved and uphold me with your strong right hand (v. 5).

4. Open my eyes to your holy Word (v. 6a).

5. Show me the blessings you have allotted and your promise of certain victory (vv. 6b-8).

6. Grant me the help that only you can offer and teach me to live valiantly (vv. 9-12).

Jesus Commands His Church to Go on Mission

Jesus charged his disciples before he returned to his Father in heaven: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8). He didn’t tell them to stay in Jerusalem, but to also go to the surrounding regions and beyond. The gospel would not remain with the Jews, but reach every manner of Gentile as well. This mission continues today as God’s Spirit empowers us to be cross-cultural witnesses for Jesus.

Mission Results in Converts

As believers proclaimed the gospel, lost people turned to Christ: 3,000 at Pentecost (2:41), then 5,000 more (4:4) as the “disciples multiplied greatly” (6:7). On and on, gospel witness brought lost people to faith in Christ (5:14). Then, as the church was scattered, evangelists went out to Judea, Samaria, and to the end of the earth (8:1).

In India, I met Paul David who once served as a Hindu priest for 37 villages. He had persecuted and assaulted Christians for claiming that Jesus was a god. But when his business failed, he turned to alcohol and lost everything. He even sold off his wife’s saris and kitchen utensils to feed his habit. Then, one day, he stumbled into a revival meeting and heard the gospel preached from the story of the Canaanite woman (Matt 15). He received Christ and began to pastor churches while evangelizing those same villages he had previously led into Hinduism.

Converts Gather in Churches

I love to visit house churches when I travel on mission and seeing the joy of believers reuniting with one another after a week apart. Many would travel hours to spend the entire Sunday together in worship, Sunday school, small groups, and leader’s meetings punctuated by meals and times of fellowship. As we eat, they counsel and disciple one another. Others gather for prayer. Church life is simple and without pretense.

Mission brings lost people to Christ and those converts then gather in churches: “Day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts” (Acts 2:46). The early church ate together, worshiped together, and studied the Scriptures together. “And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus” (5:42). Healthy churches practice the exaltation of Christ; devotion to the Scriptures (2:42); Daily fellowship and prayer (vv. 42, 46a); Breaking bread and observing the sacraments (vv. 42c, 46b); Generosity toward those in need (vv. 44-45); Holy living; Evangelistic witness; Training up godly leaders; Counseling and discipleship. As converts gather in these churches, the churches need shepherding.

Churches Need Shepherding

Everywhere Paul planted churches, he appointed godly shepherds such as Timothy, Titus, and Epaphras. Their role was to pastor the flock as Paul went on to plant more churches.

In one city, Pastor D faithfully cared for several hundred migrant workers. These families lived in squalid conditions and worked long hours seven days a week. So Pastor D met with them early in the morning or late at night. He prayed with them and taught the Scriptures even though they couldn’t read the Bible for themselves. He also helped provide for their physical needs, shepherding his flock in relative obscurity.

The Sheep Need Counseling

Biblical counseling takes various forms based on the ministry context. As Paul instructed, “We urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thess 5:14).

At times, we “admonish the idle” (noutheteō). As Paul urged the Ephesian elders to shepherd the flock of God just as he had shepherded them: “For three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears. And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified” (Acts 20:31–32). We were teaching a seminary class when one pastor admitted to beating his wife (not uncommon in that culture). The class immediately stopped as the other pastors began to counsel this one man and plead with him from the Word. Praise God, that six months later, the man stepped down from ministry to focus on his character and on his marriage. In this case, it was right to admonish the idle.

Next, we “encourage the fainthearted.” The dual ministries of strengthening and encouragement are themes throughout the book of Acts. Episterizō strengthens the Christian faith in the midst of troubles, while parakaleō comforts, consoles, comes alongside, and exhorts with the gospel. In Acts 14:22, for example, Paul and Barnabas returned through Galatia, “strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith” (see also 15:32; 16:4–5, 40). Even from prison, Paul wrote letters to strengthen and encourage the local churches he had planted. Likewise, biblical counselors often come alongside to “encourage the fainthearted.”

In addition, we “help the weak” as their support when they struggle to stand on their own. In Acts, people mocked and rejected the gospel message (2:13; 17:32; 26:24; 28:24–28). The early church was ridiculed, arrested, persecuted, and even put to death. They were whipped, beaten, and pummeled with stones. Many today expect similar persecution when living for Christ, including physical hardships and frequent difficulties (27:4, 7–10, 14–21, 41). They experience emotional sorrows such as disappointment over false converts (8:20–23), discouragement due to conflict (15:37–39), or the departure of close friends (20:19, 31, 37–38; 21:1, 4b–6). They face spiritual warfare such as Simon Magus (8:9–11, 13–24) and the fortune-telling slave girl (16:16–18). Their hearts break over the idol worship which breaks the heart of Christ (17:16).

Through mission, we meet believers facing all kinds of weaknesses who need the church to admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with all. So, we train nationals to shepherd the flock of God as local churches continue the cross-cultural mission.

Well-Shepherded Churches Continue the Cross-Cultural Mission

As the early church shared the gospel, they weren’t put off by ethnic, cultural, or socio-economic differences. Philip went to the hated Samaritans (8:5–6) and led a Bible study for an Ethiopian who seemed very out of place (8:25–29). Ananias embraced Saul the terrorist as his newfound “brother” in Christ (9:17). Peter visited the unclean Romans and even ate their food (10:9–48). The early church consisted of both Jews and Gentiles (15:19).

So naturally, in Antioch, the church appointed a diverse leadership team that resembled the surrounding community. The church began when unnamed missionaries from Cyprus and Cyrene had preached the gospel courageously and cross-culturally (11:20). God caused many in Antioch to believe, then Barnabas examined and affirmed the new converts (vv. 21–24a). Those converts spurred on even greater gospel efforts as Barnabas and Saul offered in-depth leadership training over the following year (vv. 24b–26). Those young believers then began ministering to their mother church in Jerusalem (vv. 27–30) before sending out missionaries themselves (13:1–4).

Effective ministry calls for training nationals who can preach the gospel in their own heart language and culture. Many missionaries become “market fluent” in that they can buy groceries, make conversation, and even teach in a people’s heart language. Yet very few become “worldview fluent” to converse about doctrinal matters like justification, sanctification, or Christ’s atonement.^[2] Counseling is most effective when native shepherds know their people, breathe the culture, and understand innately how to approach all the nuances of societal relationships. Foreigners might contribute financially for a time, support in prayer, or serve as missionaries. But our goal is to train up national pastors and indigenous church leaders who will then train biblical counselors in their own local churches while “the fields are white for harvest” (John 4:35). Or as one leader described it: billions of babies in need of milk without enough nurses in the orphanage to feed them all.

Conclusion

The early church carried out Christ’s Great Commission to reach the world. Geographically, they did go to Jerusalem (2:5, 14; 9:28–29a), to Judea and Samaria (8:5), and to the end of the earth (13:47). Ethnically, they reached both Jew and Gentile (2:39; 10:34–35; 11:4–18; 15:3–31). Generationally, they proclaimed the gospel to the people of their day who would tell the generations that followed (2:39). And today, we are called to continue the mission of making disciples who make disciples (Matt 28:18-20). Missions is a relay race, so let us never drop the baton until Christ Jesus has returned!

^[1] This material was excerpted from the ACBC Pre-Conference, Counseling Across Cultures: Ministry of the Word and the Global Church (2021).

^[2] Radius International teaches this concept.

In a fallen world surrounded by fallen people, we often face abandonment, abuse, or affliction. Sinful people can wound us in many ways, yet our God is faithful to heal us and his word is a balm of comfort.

Psalm 22 is best-known for our Savior’s cry of dereliction from the cross: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt 27:46; see Ps 22:1). Yet as we meditate on this passage, we discover a God who promises to never forsake us and a Savior who would not remain in the grave.

Consider how your story leads you to your Savior.^[1]

A. What’s your story?

1. Abandonment – When someone you once trusted forsakes you (vv. 1–2)

2. Abuse – When you have been repeatedly harmed by others (vv. 6–8)

3. Affliction – When you feel threatened by fellow sinners in a fallen world (vv. 12–18)

B. How does your story lead you to your Savior?

1. God’s Word (Ps 119:71)

2. God’s comfort (2 Cor 1:3–4, 8–9)

3. God’s love (Rom 5:3–5)

4. God’s power (2 Cor 4:7–10)

5. God’s deliverance (Ps 34:19)

6. God’s Son (Isa 53:3–6; 1 Pet 2:21–25; Heb 2:9–12)

Understand how Christ’s suffering relates to yours.

A. Pray to the Lord despite his palpable silence (vv. 1–11)

1. David feels abandoned in his suffering (vv. 1–2). Yet he clings to God’s past faithfulness (vv. 3–5). So also, when you feel abandoned in the present, remember God’s faithfulness in the past. He will not let you be put to shame (Rom 5:5).

2. God’s silence feels even harsher as David endures dehumanizing abuse (vv. 6–8). Yet David recalls how the God who formed him in the womb has sustained him throughout all his life (vv. 9–11). So, when others harm you, remember the God who always speaks to you with love and cares for you in suffering.

3. Then, look to Christ.[2] David’s Greater Son would cry this same lament as he hung upon the cross to fulfill our suffering (Matt 27:46). Just like David and David’s Greater Son, you can cry out to the Father when you have been forsaken and God will answer you despite what seems like silence.

B. Persevere in the Lord by his powerful strength (vv. 12–21)

1. God’s power in our suffering – David perseveres despite intense affliction (Ps 22:12–18). His words also prophetically describe the crucifixion over 1,000 years before Christ was born and centuries before the cross even became a means of execution. So, when you suffer, remember Christ who suffered in your place (1 Pet 3:18). Know that God is never “far” from you though your troubles may be near (Ps 22:19).

2. God’s power in the resurrection – With similar confidence, Christ prays not to be rescued from the cross, but from the grave—Easter following Good Friday—victory after anguish. In this way, Christ fulfills the entire psalm, not just the forsakenness. Despite the initial silence, God’s answer to David’s prayer is now as good as done (v. 21).^[3] For Christ has already given his answer at the cross when he saved us from our sin and from all sin’s consequences: “It is finished!” Then, by his resurrection, Jesus sealed the deal in victory. So, when you need some living hope, remember the hope of Christ’s resurrection (1 Pet 1:3).

3. God’s power in our ministry – In 2 Timothy 4:17–18, Paul mentions “the lion’s mouth” (Ps 22:21) in the same context as “the Gentiles” and the heavenly “kingdom” (v. 28). For Paul views his own suffering in the pattern of Christ’s suffering. So also, when you serve, remember the humble ways of Christ.

C. Praise the Lord for his promised salvation (vv. 22–31)

1. David determines to praise the Lord (v. 22). Yet he cannot keep such wonders to himself. So also, when God does marvelous things, you must tell of that good news in the gathered congregation to your brothers and sisters in Christ.

2. God then calls Israel to reach the nations (vv. 23–28; see Gen 12:1–3; Acts 1:8). For all the world must see what God has done “and turn to the Lord” (Ps 22:27). Then, the kingdoms of this world will become “the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ” (Rev 11:15; see Ps 22:28). Likewise, when God saves you, he commissions you to proclaim the good news to all the nations. Such praise for Christ’s redemption invites the worship of people from all around the world and even rescues generations not yet born (vv. 29–31). For on the cross, Christ saw all who would one day trust in him. How can we do anything but praise him?

Meditate on specific truths about God’s character and his deeds.

• God is personally intimate (vv. 1–2)

• God is holy and sovereign (v. 3)

• God is trustworthy and dependable (vv. 4–5)

• God is compassionate toward the abused (vv. 6–8)

• God is our Maker and Sustainer (vv. 9–10)

• God is nearer to us than any troubles (v. 11)

• God is protective of his children (v. 12–13)

• God sympathizes when we suffer (vv. 14–16a)

• God loves us enough to sacrifice his beloved Son (vv. 16b–18)

• God is our Helper in times of need (vv. 19–21)

• God is worthy of our praise and glory (vv. 22–23b, 25)

• God is awesome to behold (v. 23c)

• God hears and answers prayer (v. 24)

• God is eternally satisfying (vv. 26, 29)

• God is zealous for our worship (v. 27)

• God is our ruling King (v. 28)

• God is missionary-minded (vv. 30–31)

Take action with personal growth projects:

1. Describe the manner of your prayer life in the midst of hard times. Do you tend to move toward God or away from him?

2. Read Psalm 22 this week and list the ways Christ’s suffering relates to yours.

3. Consider how Christ’s death and resurrection has proven that God will not forsake you (Rom 8:32; Heb 2:11–18). As you face suffering, recall God’s pattern of faithfulness to David, Christ, and you.

4. Reflect on the wondrous truth that Jesus was thinking about future saints like you when he died upon the cross (Ps 22:30–31). How can you faithfully live out his intended purposes for saving you (Eph 2:10)?

5. Sing the lyrics of the hymn “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross.” Write your own song or poetic praise in response to Psalm 22.

Finally, pray to your Father who hears you with compassion:

• O God, you are my God and my ever-present help (vv. 1, 10, 19).

• You are faithful and the One in whom I trust (vv. 3–4).

• You are my merciful Savior (v. 6).

• You are near to me in times of trouble (v. 11).

• So Lord, answer me when I pray (v. 21).

• Teach me to proclaim your righteousness to others (vv. 22, 31).

• May my children and my children’s children learn to give you praise (vv. 30–31).

  

[1] Note how the back-and-forth dialogue of the psalm’s structure represents the wrestling within David’s heart as he alternates between cries of lament (vv. 1–2, 6–8, 12–18) and prayers of trust in God (vv. 3–5, 9–11, 19–21). He ultimately concludes by lifting up thanksgiving praises to the Lord (vv. 22–31).

[2] Jesus quotes Psalm 22:1 much like how saints today cite the first line of a cherished hymn. By doing so, he understands himself as fulfilling the whole of Psalm 22 and not just the forsakenness in verse 1.

[3] Verse 21 concludes emphatically with a single word, ana: “You have rescued me”—or better translated, “You have answered me.” This exultation expresses the explicit assurance which leads into verses 22–31.

Understanding SSA

Let’s first discuss some commonly used terms:

• Same-sex behavior relates to the choices, actions, and lifestyle involved. It is what we see on the outside when SSA is manifested or what is hidden from view because of shame or social pressure. The Bible consistently defines same-sex behavior as contrary to God’s will, though some Christians will try to obscure the clear meaning of Scripture.[2] Homosexuality is certainly not the worst sin of all, but it still remains a sin regardless of how our world might celebrate it (e.g., Lev 18:22; Rom 1:26-27; 1 Tim 1:9-11).

• Same-sex orientation is used by some to describe identity, capacity, or potentiality. Although people are not “born gay” in the sense of genetic determination, many do experience unwanted feelings of SSA or predisposition toward same-sex relationships as one of the effects of the fallen human condition (Gen 3). This then can be a real struggle for genuine believers. Yet the Bible describes the believer’s identity in relation to Christ and not our sexual orientation: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation” (2 Cor 5:17; see Gal 2:20). We are never to be identified by any particular sin struggle (e.g., “gay Christian,” “pornographic Christian,” “pedophiliac Christian”).

• Same-sex desire speaks to inclination, motive, and affections. For God created humans with a natural desire for sexual relationship, but any desire (or lust) for what is morally wrong constitutes a sinful desire.[3] The Bible holds us responsible for our heart’s desires whether or not we intentionally choose to experience those desires (Mark 7:21-23). Same-sex desire within the sinful heart is one response to the circumstances which influence us (e.g., family patterns, peer pressure, emotional wounds, personal disposition, etc.). Yet although nature and nurture might be the “soil” in which we grow, our own desires are the “root” which produce the “fruit” of our behavior. Circumstances can be influential, but never determinative. They explain our sin, but do not excuse it.

• Same-sex attraction might involve any or all of these internal aspects: orientation, thoughts, desires, and feelings. According to the APA, “Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions.” Part of the confusion, then, comes from the different ways SSA is defined as some would only relate SSA to desires and feelings, while others include the aspect of orientation and identity.

• Same-sex temptation, the stirring of our desires, can either come from within or from without. Jesus, for example, resisted the full force of external temptation during his earthly life (Heb 2:18; 4:15; e.g., Matt 4:1-11). Sin found neither a launching pad in our Savior’s heart nor a landing place, for he was neither a sinner by nature nor a sinner by choice. Thus, there exists a kind of temptation that comes from outside the person.[4] Yet James also speaks of an internal temptation which comes from a person’s own desires: “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death” (Jas 1:13-15). Temptation, by itself, is not a sin, though it can surely lead to sin (Matt 6:12-13). One glance at the lure can quickly lead to swallowing the bait and getting hooked. For this reason, we strongly resist temptation and flee without reserve (1 Cor 6:18; 2 Tim 2:22). Instead of sexual impurity, we “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:14). To paraphrase Luther, “We can’t the stop the birds from flying over our heads, but we can keep them from nesting in our hair.”

Counseling SSA

With these principles in mind, we can address matters pertaining to life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).

• Cultivate a relationship with those who struggle with SSA and establish trust with them. They must not only know that we love them, but also possess the skill to counsel them with care (Gal 6:1-2). Patiently listen to their story instead of leaping to assumptions (Prov 18:13). Many who struggle with SSA have been wounded by the church in the past and may be hesitant to open up their lives again.

• Show compassion since all of us struggle with our own temptations which might seem unwanted or unchosen (1 Cor 10:13). Due to our fallen human condition, we each face particular struggles unique to us (Prov 14:10). Some, for example, are more prone to anxiety, melancholy, gluttony, or gambling. And though we can’t always avoid temptations, God still calls us to resist them (2 Tim 2:22).

• Build up their practical theology. Study the Scriptures together to show how lustful desires lead to temptation, and then to sinful behavior (Jas 1:13-15). Explain how every choice we make arises from our hearts regardless of our circumstances (Prov 4:23) and that sinful desires are just as wrong as the behavior itself (Matt 5:27-28). Consistently teach that it is sinful to indulge any thoughts or feelings of SSA, even in the privacy of our own mind. Affirm that the only biblical expression of human sexuality remains within the covenant relationship of a husband and wife in marriage (Heb 13:4). Instead of just telling them what to believe, show them how to build their theology on the solid rock of Scripture (Matt 7:24-27).

• Exhort them to flee temptation and to mortify (i.e., put to death) all sinful thoughts, desires, and orientation (1 Cor 6:18). We must bring any feelings or inclination toward sexual immorality under the lordship of Christ (1 Thess 4:3-8). For only in the power of Christ’s Spirit can we wage war against our flesh (Rom 8:5-8, 12-14). Our primary motivation must always be to please Christ, not simply to be seen as a “good person” (2 Cor 5:9-10).

• Find strength in the biblical examples of Christ himself resisting temptation (e.g., Matt 4:1-11) and other characters in Scripture who also fled from sin (e.g., Gen 39). We enlist the encouragement and accountability of fellow believers in the local church (Heb 10:24-25). For the body of Christ should be a community in which we confess our sins and pray for one another (Jas 5:16).

• Finally, give hope that true believers will surely overcome such life-dominating sins. We are no longer helpless slaves to sin, but now have the freedom to live as God desires us to live (Rom 6:1-14). Although we once were lost, we are all being transformed by the grace of Jesus Christ: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, or thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor 6:9-11). This blessed change by means of repentance and forgiveness has already begun in this life and will be made fully complete in the life to come (Rom 8:29-30; 1 John 3:2).

  

[1] I recently taught this material in Vietnam and was encouraged by church leaders shepherding a new believer who used to think she was a man. I realize this subject is sensitive for many and cannot be fully addressed in the impersonal setting of an online forum. I encourage you to discuss this matter honestly with a trusted family member or local church leader.

[2] In general, “Side A” views sexual orientation as an unchosen, immutable attribute with no more moral dimension to it than eye color. They invite inclusivity and affirm SSA as natural, right, and good (e.g., Matthew Vines, Rob Bell). This stands in contrast to “Side B,” which does not affirm same-sex relationships, but encourages “gay Christians” to remain celibate while embracing singleness or “spiritual friendship” (e.g., Wes Hill, Eve Tushnet, Preston Sprinkle). “Side Y” calls for repentance of sinful desires and “holy sexuality” (e.g., Christopher Yuan, Rosaria Butterfield).

[3] Augustine taught that desire for what God forbids is itself sinful, whether or not it is acted upon or even feels chosen. Side B tends to separate desire from behavior and claims that we can experience benign thoughts of SSA or homosexual orientation, so long as we do not act on those desires or embrace that lifestyle. By contrast, Scripture teaches that any desire for what is wrong is just as wrong as the act itself (e.g., Matt 5:27-28).

[4] Christians face three primary enemies: the world, the flesh, and the devil (1 John 2:16). Temptations from the world and the devil are primarily external (e.g., John 13:2; Acts 5:1-11), while temptations of the flesh are primarily internal (Rom 7:22-23). These factors are often so intermingled that we cannot determine a single source, but our common remedy is to trust in Christ.

I can’t believe the first book I ever wrote was a devotional on parenting, but these biblical principles have consistently held true as I’ve taught them in many cultures around the world. Here’s an excerpt from the opening chapter.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

~ PROVERBS 1:7 ~

My three boys learned many biblical proverbs on our ten-minute drive to school. For example, I would call out, “Proverbs 1:7. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” and they would repeat: “Proverbs 1:7. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Then, I would say, “Fools despise wisdom and instruction,” and they would echo, “Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

We would do this multiple times until they could cite the verse from memory. And if one of them learned it quickly, he would then teach his brothers until they could all recite it in unison. After memorizing each verse, we then discussed it together: “What does it mean to fear the Lord?” “To love him and obey him because of who he is.”

“So, why is the fear of the Lord the beginning of knowledge?” “Because if we love God and obey his Word, we will grow in knowledge about the world God has made.”

“And what does it mean to despise?” “It means to hate—to refuse to listen.”

“But why does the fool despise wisdom and instruction?” “Because he doesn’t know what’s good for him.”

The Proverbs became a catechism encouraging my children to meditate on God’s Word. We were training them to store up God’s Word in their hearts as an investment for future withdrawals.

For example, a few days later, one of my boys expressed his terror over the scary, spiral staircase, which led down to our backyard. So, I said to him, “I know it feels scary, but you don’t need to be afraid. You can trust me.” We discussed the difference between healthy and unhealthy kinds of fear. Then, I asked him, “Remember Proverbs 1:7?” He easily recited it as I explained, “If you fear the Lord, you will learn to overcome any unhealthy fears. You can trust the Lord and you can trust daddy as the one God gave to protect you.”

My son replied, “I’m still afraid, but I will go down the scary stairs.” And he did it! His legs were trembling, but he did it! Then, he did it again and again! His brothers were cheering him on and he was exuberant. That night during family worship, he prayed without any prompting: “Thank you, Jesus, for helping me go up-and-down the scary stairs.”

Now I am certain my boys will face greater dangers in life than scary stairs, but I want them to store up God’s Word in their hearts for those crucial moments of faith. Likewise, dads, remind your children (and yourself) that depositing God’s Word in your spiritual bank will pay abundant dividends in the long run.

Dads, as you study Proverbs, realize that God has given you sufficient strength and wisdom for each day. He shows you what will happen if you follow his Word and what will happen if you don’t. For if you desire to raise God-fearing children, then you must first fear the Lord yourself.

PRAYER: Dear Heavenly Father, Show me how to both revere your holiness and delight in your love. Teach me how to be a good father by trusting in you as my heavenly Father. Equip me to raise God-fearing children who love you and worship you as well. In your Son’s name, Amen.

Here are some of the believers I met on missions (or reunited with after a time). Many could only communicate through an interpreter, but together we shared “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. . . one body and one Spirit . . . one hope . . . one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Eph 4:3-6). I hope these snapshots will encourage you as they have encouraged me.

• I met a giant whose life verse is Micah 6:8. Appropriately, his name is also Micah and he stands six feet, 8 inches tall.

• I met a faithful pastor (and former Marine) whose wife of 39+ years recently went home to be with Jesus. He continues to shepherd his church though his heart still brims with sorrow.

• I met a man devoting what could have been his retirement years to serve on missions. He oversees a YWAM team and sponsors a side business to help pressure-paint churches that cannot afford the cost.

• I met a rebellious punk rocker turned evangelist who delivers the gospel to churches and stadiums and YouTube videos throughout Japan, leading hundreds to Christ in recent years. Here is his testimony (19min mark)

• I met a church planter’s wife who served as our first female Japanese national instructor.

• I met an empty nester studying for an online degree from the university where I teach. Go Mustangs!

• I met a former MK who brought his wife and five children to the mission field this year even as they are still raising support.

• I met a former doctor of clinical psychology who is now a professor of biblical counseling. Here is her testimony.

• I met a young lady who truly practices the gift of administration down to the minute and to the smallest of yen.

• I met a woman who left her dental practice in Brazil, so that she and her husband could minister to both Japanese and Brazilians in Okinawa.

• I met a missionary from Singapore who received her ministry degree in America and now serves the Lord in Tokyo.

• I met a retired pastor who travels to remote parts of the world sharing Words Fitly Spoken and offering pulpit supply for weary missionaries and sabbathing pastors.

• I met a young PhD student helping to shepherd his father’s church in a country where almost all the ministers are over 70 years old.

• I met many families with the gift of gracious hospitality. I could probably also write another article on all the food I ate on missions, but those stories are for another time.

• I met a couple coordinating our team while bringing along their energetic preschooler and adventurous infant in tow.

• I met a humble pastor and wife faithfully shepherding a church of 1,000 members, planting two more churches, overseeing the 27 other churches in their province, coordinating 10 Vacation Bible Schools this summer, and ministering to over 3,500 tribal Christians in 11 churches in the mountain villages. He was the first seminary graduate when the C&MA returned to Vietnam after the War.

• I met a sharp young woman who sat on the front row of class and constantly questioned why we could not integrate the world’s psychologies with Christ’s all-sufficient Scriptures. Yet after the training, she shared through tears about her own trauma, but also her commitment to honor Christ and minister his all-sufficient words to hurting people.

• I met a pastor who wondered to himself for 15 years how he could help people change and grow as they faced life’s most difficult problems. After our training, he told us in Vietnamese that the light bulb finally went on when he found what he was looking for all those years.

• I met a pastor’s wife who asked many questions about how to raise her two young children in the Lord according to biblical principles.

• I met a woman who traveled 12 hours by bus to attend our training and slept at the church because she could not afford a hotel. Next month, she plans to teach what she has learned to 700 others at a women’s conference.

• I met a former physics teacher (like my own dad) who couldn’t speak a lick of English, but delivered special drinks after every lunch: fresh-squeezed sugarcane, sweet milk straight from the baby coconut, avocado smoothies, jasmine milk tea. Yum!

• I met a Vietnamese-American who shares the good news of Jesus with every Grab taxi driver because they are a captive audience. When we pay them to drive us, we are also paying them to listen to the gospel.

• I met countless believers who love to laugh, sing, fellowship in Christ, and share delicious food.

• I met a pastor shepherding a Christian orphanage in the countryside for children who have lost their parents or whose parents cannot afford to care for them. The church feeds these children, educates them, teaches them to serve, and pays for college when they turn 18. Praise God for gospel-centered mercy ministries!

• I met orphans living for Jesus because faithful believers decided to show their faith by works. Every day, they wake up together at 5am for devotions and prayer, then are taught to follow Christ throughout their everyday lives.

• I met a city boy who planted a country church although the government would not give his church electricity and forbade his children from attending school.

• I met a pastor who has served in Vietnam for 55 years with 5 of his 7 children now in full-time ministry.

• I met an interpreter who allowed me to communicate with the class and faithfully translated biblical counseling books into his people’s heart language.

• I met a church leader helping a new Christian who used to think she was a man, but is now trying to de-transition in a way that honors Christ.

• I met a “city couple” who planted their church in “the middle of nowhere,” then faced persecution from the government who would not connect electricity to the church or allow their children to go to school. They have also planted another church among the tribal people who still do not have a Bible in their language.

• I met some girls who giggled when I spoke to them in English, but knew how to kick around a soccer ball (football!) better than most Americans (and barefoot at that).

• I met a single mom who still holds forgiveness in her heart for the husband who abandoned her and their two small children. She attended our biblical counselor training so she could help the teenage boys in the orphanage become godly men.

My new friends laughed with delight when I said that if we do not meet again on earth, we will surely meet in heaven. Over 30 years, it still amazes me that we can find common unity with fellow believers in any country and culture. I thank God for the people I met on missions and pray that God will strengthen each of us to be faithful as well.

1. The good news offers peace with God and others.

Much of counseling deals with conflict in our relationships, so the good news offers peace with God and others. For example, Peter describes the gospel as “the word that [God] sent to Israel, preaching good news of peace through Jesus Christ” (Acts 10:36).

In addition, the gospel offers the hope of peace between people as witnessed in Ephesians 2:14-18, “ For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.”

We enjoy peace with God because of Christ’s reconciling work, and we pursue peace with others when we forgive as God in Christ has forgiven us (Eph 4:32). The gospel must always be central to our ministry of peacemaking.

2. The good news assures eternal life.

The effect of our peace with God is eternal life! This too is what makes the gospel of Christ truly good news. So, Paul describes God’s purpose and plan “manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Tim 1:10).

This new life begins at salvation and continues throughout the believer’s life. So, we can endure our present suffering because we know how the story ends (2 Cor 4:16-18). And we can overcome any temptation when our hearts delight in a greater joy than anything this world can offer (Heb 12:1-2).

3. The good news is for all people.

Part of what makes the good news good is that Jesus rules as the King of kings over all people and all nations! In Galatians 3:8, “The Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, ‘In you shall all the nations be blessed’” (see Gen 15:1-3). Preaching the gospel means announcing this good news that all the nations, not just Israel, will be blessed through Abraham—through the death and resurrection of Abraham’s seed, Jesus Christ. The gospel is for everyone, and that’s good news!

4. The basis of the gospel is God’s grace.

The basis of this good news, as mentioned before, is God’s amazing grace! This is why Paul can testify in Acts 20:24, “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” The gospel is the good news that God promises grace to sinners through the work of Christ (Eph 2:8-10).

Gospel grace is the “free” blessing and power of God that flows from the heart of God to guilty and undeserving sinners. Therefore, salvation by grace is the opposite of man’s good works, performance, family charm, pleasing appearance, or commendable attributes. Biblical counseling does help people work out their own salvation, but it never diminishes the grace of the gospel in any way “otherwise grace would no longer be grace” (Rom 11:6).

5. Jesus’ death is what makes God’s grace just.

The decisive act of God’s grace is not merely Christ’s incarnational life and ministry, but also his suffering and death. For Christ suffered and died “so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone” (Heb 2:9; see 2 Cor 8:9). Christ paid our debt to satisfy his Father’s wrath, for only at the cross could the Father pour out both his justice and his mercy. God sent his Son to bear the right and perfect punishment for our sins to “show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus” (Rom 3:25-26).

The wisdom of God’s grace allowed the Father to punish his Son in place of sinners, thereby justifying those who are guilty without compromising God’s justice. This great exchange took place as sinners received Christ’s imputed righteousness, while Jesus is imputed with their sinfulness to pay the debt they owed a holy God. Therefore, God “made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor 5:21).

6. This gospel grace is the basis of every spiritual blessing we receive.

From this central act of grace flows a mighty river of countless promises and blessings (Eph 1:3)! As Paul reveals, the calling of God awakened us from our sin-soaked sleep of death into God’s amazing grace. For he “saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began” (2 Tim 1:9). In the presence of this gracious gift of faith:

• God justifies us “by his grace” (Rom 3:24; Titus 3:7).

• God forgives our trespasses “according to the riches of his grace” (Eph 1:7).

• God saves us “through the grace of the Lord Jesus” (Acts 15:11).

• God “makes all grace abound” to us for “every good work” (2 Cor 9:8).

• God provides sufficient grace for any of our afflictions (2 Cor 12:9).

• God enables us by his grace to work harder than we ever imagined we could (1 Cor 15:10).

• God grants “grace to help in time of need” (Heb 4:16).

• God is our “eternal comfort and good hope through grace” (2 Thess 2:16).

• So that in the end, “the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thess 1:12).

CONCLUSION: There is no good thing in the gospel without the ultimate goodness of God! So, despite all the precious gospel facets of redemption and restoration, these are not our final and greatest good. Rather, our ultimate and supreme good is God himself as seen and savored in all his glory in every aspect of our present and eternal lives!

If we simply focus on the individual facets of the gospel diamond without seeing the beauty of the diamond as a whole, then we have failed to see the brilliance of God’s glory. If the hearers of the gospel do not witness the glory of Christ in the image of God through all the blessings of the gospel, then we have not yet seen what finally makes the gospel truly good news—the Person of God himself. He is the ultimate source of our motivation and the reason for those we counsel to live godly lives obedient to his will.

We love the Giver of all good gifts and not just the gifts themselves. Thus, every God-focused counseling ministry invites people to drink of the multifaceted promises of the gospel as a perpetual fountain of help and hope. This living water refreshes our counselees and satisfies their souls with a deep appreciation and understanding of God in the face of all life’s difficulties. To God be the glory forever. Amen! (Rom 11:36).

[1] This teaching is adapted from material developed by the Japan Biblical Counseling Association (JBCA).

1. We trust in a living God.

First, the gospel declares that a living God created the heavens and the earth (Gen 1:1). As Paul preaches, “We bring you good news, that you should turn from these vain things [idols] to a living God, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and all that is in them” (Acts 14:15). The truth of a living God who created everything gives hope that he has the power to help us. For our gospel consists of more than worshiping dead idols and bowing down to blocks of wood.

2. Jesus exercises his authority as King of kings.

The gospel not only includes the truth that God is our living Creator, but that his Son is the King of the universe. So, Christ exerts his imperial authority for the sake of those who believe in him. As God promised, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns’” (Rom 10:15; see Isa 52:7). These last three words reveal the gospel facet that Christ reigns over everything, thus providing help and hope no matter the circumstances. For if Jesus is in charge of everything, then he is in charge of us as well.

3. Jesus Christ is our Savior and Lord.

Christ then wields his sovereign authority for our salvation. When the angels announced Christ’s birth, they proclaimed him as the Son of David, the sovereign King, and promised Messiah: “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:10-11). This is good news that the King of the universe and promised Messiah has come into the world to be the Savior of his people. In biblical counseling, every problem we encounter originates with sin and all its consequences. Thus, the only remedy is Christ!

4. Jesus died for our sins.

Yet how did Jesus, the Messiah, the Lord of heaven become our Savior? He tells us himself: “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Luke 22:20). Christ’s death is vital to the gospel, for his death is the ransom which paid the penalty for our sins: “Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you . . . For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures” (1 Cor 15:1-3).

5. Jesus has risen from the dead.

There would still be no gospel, though, if Christ had stayed dead (2 Tim 2:8). For “if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins” (1 Cor 15:17). Christ’s resurrection is essential to the gospel, for it declares his victory over sin and death. The gospel assures struggling counselees that if God could raise Jesus from the dead, then he can forgive our life-dominating sins, restore peace in troubled relationships, and offer comfort during the most difficult of times. Christ’s resurrection is our blessed living hope (1 Pet 1:3-9).

6. The gospel promises God’s Holy Spirit.

God also promises to grant his Spirit to all who believe in Christ (Luke 3:15-18). For Jesus will not leave his disciples without his power, fellowship, and strength. As he states in John 14:17-18, “You know [the Spirit of truth] for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” Therefore, God’s Spirit empowers every follower of Christ to do the work of Christ.

“So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom 8:12-17).

7. The gospel is the power of God for salvation.

Paul declares in Romans 1:16, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.” New life begins at conversion, but its results continue throughout our sanctification. Thus, every one of these gospel facets help us to become who we truly are in Christ. For as we behold the gospel, we become increasingly more like our Savior!

8. By what the cross purchased, the cross becomes good news.

Jesus also heals the sick, casts out demons, raises the dead, and helps the poor to show what the cross has purchased for the true believer: This gospel is indeed good news as Jesus “went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people” (Matt 4:23). Jesus even claims as he begins his ministry, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18).

Any purchase reveals whether the cost is worthwhile. If we lost $1 million, for example, we might be devastated. But if we spent that same amount to purchase a valuable resource, we would view it as an investment. The purchase price becomes good news because of what we receive in return. In the same way, we can rejoice in the cross because the cross frees us from sin and all its consequences. So “rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed” (1 Pet 4:13).

This reflection will be continued next week…

[1] This teaching is adapted from material developed by the Japan Biblical Counseling Association (JBCA).

1. God created us for his glory!

According to Isaiah 43:7, God made us in his own image so that we would project his image out into the rest of his creation, to our families, friends, and communities. Like mirrors, we reflect his character and moral beauty (Gen 1:27).

2. So how then can we daily live for God’s glory?

Paul reminds us that “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). The way we live for God’s glory is to love him (Matt 22:37), trust him (Rom 4:20), thank him (Ps 50:23), and obey him (Matt 5:16). When we do these things, we reflect God’s glory to a watching world! The heart of every true follower of Christ should desire to reflect God in every little detail of the day and to exalt him in every aspect of our lives.

3. God is pleased when we live for his glory.

Paul adds in 2 Corinthians 5:9, “So whether we are at home [life here on earth] or away [in the presence of our Lord], we make it our aim to please [God].” Paul aims to love whatever is honorable to God, which includes striving for excellence in our spiritual goals. Thus, whether in this present life or our future eternal life, we intentionally focus on a life that PLEASES God!

4. However, all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.

For “although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him . . . and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images [idols]” (Rom 1:21-23; see 3:23). Sadly, not one of us has loved, trusted, thanked, obeyed, pleased, or glorified God as we were originally created to do.

5. As the consequence of sin, we all deserve eternal punishment.

The stakes could not be higher, for “the wages of sin is [eternal] death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 6:23). Those who fail to obey Christ in every aspect of their lives “shall suffer the punishment of eternal destruction and exclusion from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might” (2 Thess 1:9). Thus, any who reject God’s free gift of salvation will “go away into eternal punishment” (Matt 25:46).

6. By God’s great mercy, he sent his only Son to provide the way of eternal life for sinners.

As Jesus promises in John 3:16-17, “God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” Jesus Christ alone is “the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through [him]” (John 14:6).

7. Eternal life, then, is God’s free gift to all who trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). For “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom 10:9). “By grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph 2:8-9).

Our salvation results in endless gratitude for the unfathomable beauty and value of the gospel. So we declare with Paul: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20). “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God” (Acts 20:24).

Paul recognizes, as must we, that the gospel not only declares us righteous at our conversion, but also continues to sanctify us until we stand before Christ in glory. Any biblical counsel we offer must be grounded in our past justification as we live out our present sanctification in the hopes of our future glorification in Christ. Praise God for his marvelous grace!

[1] This teaching is adapted from material developed by the Japan Biblical Counseling Association (JBCA).

This journey started about 30 years ago when I first began to learn of my own family’s history in the Japanese American incarceration camps. Many have spoken of the generational trauma and the resilience of the Nikkei people (gaman, shikata ga nai, and so forth). But I found very little written about how the Christian church cared for souls within the camps.

Later, as a pastor and biblical counselor, I asked how I would shepherd my own church through such a season of collective suffering. And once more, I began to explore this topic, collect stories, write articles, and give interviews. The fruit of this is now a beautiful children’s book that can be passed on to future generations. It is the first gospel-centered book to ever tell the story through the eyes of a child.

We just launched at the Asian American Leadership Conference and are prayerfully seeking to reach churches, families, schools, and even unbelieving friends. Please consider how you can spread the word to others and support Christian ministries such as SOLA Network, JEMS, AACHI, and Epic Movement.

Anger Revealed

Photo by Alexandra Mirgheș on Unsplash

Anger revealed is explosive and expressive. We can call it venting as in Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit.” It can involve yelling and screaming, punching holes in the wall, giving others a piece of our mind, or making angry threats. We feel the need to assert our rights, then we cathartically feel better after “letting off some steam” or “getting it off our chest.” Just because it feels good, though, doesn’t make it right. Venting our anger is both foolish and sinful.

Anger Concealed

Anger concealed is internalized, but still smoldering. Concealers shut down when the situation gets too hot. They become moody and irritated, while wielding the weapons of silent treatments and cold shoulders. They roll their eyes and flare their nostrils and bore holes right through their enemies. “Nothing’s wrong,” of course, they just don’t want to talk about it. Many concealers don’t even think they’re angry because they never let it out. Yet anger concealed is often more dangerous than anger revealed. For while anger revealed takes it out on someone else, anger concealed takes it out on yourself. Just because it feels bad, though, doesn’t make it right.

Leviticus 19 condemns such peace-faking: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (vv. 17-18). Don’t bottle up anger in your heart. Holding a grudge means hating your neighbor, according to the God who never harbors hate (Ps 103:9).

Anger Repealed

Sinful anger goes deep—all the way down to the heart. But the gospel goes deeper.

So, first, confess your sinful anger (Prov 28:13). Admit you lost control (25:28). Consider how Christians must live differently than the world (Col 3:7-10).

Then, examine the root of your anger (Jas 4:1-2) and repent of both root and fruit (vv. 6-10).

• What were my thoughts and desires at the time?

• What was I wanting or defending that led to sinful anger?

• What desires ruled my heart?

• Repent of sinful anger, but also for sinful desires.

Third, remember how we need God’s grace:

• To forgive our sinful anger (1 John 1:9).

• To pour out wrath on Christ instead (2 Cor 5:21).

• To root out indwelling sin (Prov 3:11-12; Eph 4:26).

• To make all things right in the end (Rom 12:19).

• To transform us into peacemakers (Prov 15:1; Rom 12:18).

For sinful anger goes deep, but the gospel goes deeper.

Photo by Alex Noriega on Unsplash

The soldiers crown their “King” with thorns.
They kneel and mock Him with each breath.
They spit. They strike. They scoff. They scorn.
They scourge Him on His march to death.

His body buckles along the Way,
weighed down beneath that cursed block
of wood upon His back. He strains
to scale that toilsome track: Skull Rock.

They drive the spikes into His hands
and feet. They hawk His clothes. Then, haul
the heavy beam in place. And can
it be? For me, He drinks that bitter gall.

“Oh, He saved others,” so they claim, 
“But cannot save Himself.” They crown
His head with their heads wagging in disdain:
 “If You really are God’s Son, come down.”

The Divine divides two dying thieves:
“Father, forgive them please,” He cries
out for God’s mercy, then He leads
one more once damned to Paradise.

Thus, God’s first Son, His One begotten
and Beloved is now forsaken.
This promised Christ too soon forgotten
will have His righteous ransom taken.

Yet as Christ dies, He cries aloud 
with hope unfurled and wondrous awe:
Earth shakes. Rocks split. Tombs yield forth crowds
who claim, “This truly was the Son of God!”

The temple veil then tears in two
as if by mighty, hidden hand,
from top to bottom, letting through
God’s people, who now before Him stand.

As He breathes His last, His mother sees
Him buried in a borrowed tomb.
She watches, worried, while He’s
swaddled within Death’s barren womb. 

Thus, Jesus came to pardon sin:
For love, He lives. For us, He died.
And by His grace, we enter in 
to claim Christ only—Christ Crucified!

His body broken; His blood poured out.
We grieve His offering as we should.
Then, Death He conquers with a shout.
And that’s what makes Good Friday Good.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Imagine being a new parent, standing atop the fulcrum of a seesaw, balancing our weight as we cradle our newborn child in our arms. He is helpless by himself and in need of parental care. So, we ourselves do all the hard work of balancing at the seesaw’s center. As our child grows up, he learns to stand on his own, then toddle a bit. We hold him by both hands as we shift our weight to keep the seesaw level. At this stage, our child still clings to us as he delights to feel our closeness. He might become anxious when we leave him momentarily (like at bedtimes or for preschool). He certainly possesses the physical strength to stand up on his own, but still he desires our emotional assurance.

Quickly, though, our child matures and makes more friends. He attends school each day and goes on playdates with other kids. His mind seems constantly active as he takes in new ideas about God and this world which God has made. So, on the seesaw, instead of perpetually holding hands, we now let go from time-to-time, knowing that such moments of controlled freedom are necessary for his development.

As he enters the teenage years, our child seeks independence even when he’s not always responsible to handle it. He wants to think for himself and to establish his own identity. So, he will often rush this process and we may need to hold him back. Yet at other times, he may hesitate in fear and we must push him forward. As parents, our role is no longer to cuddle him in our arms or to hold him by the hand at every stage. Instead, we encourage him to edge away from us a little at a time, but without upsetting the delicate balance of the teeter-totter. We coordinate our steps and communicate often. We both move slowly, apart from each other, as our child naturally matures. Then, we celebrate as we sync each step.

At times, of course, our teen may stumble in his immaturity or misuse of certain freedoms. But we don’t get frustrated at such growing pains or berate him for his failures. Instead, we pause, then take one step back to the center, as we remove those freedoms for a time. We show him that freedoms are tied to responsibility and that every folly comes with consequences. If he acts like a child, we will treat him like a child (for a time). Yet we continue to communicate until he’s ready to try again. We realize we can provoke our child to anger by either being too restrictive (“helicopter parenting”) or too lax (“gentle parenting”).

Our purpose is to eventually release our child into the world: mature, responsible, and confident to take on life’s many challenges. Parenting on the seesaw may feel like the ground is constantly moving beneath our feet. Yet this fear of falling and the conscious two-step between parent and child are designed to help each of us grow.

In the end, Christian parents have three main goals:

First, we aim to glorify God in everything we say and do (Col 3:17) since the goal of parenting must be the goal of everything else in life: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Eccl 12:13). Our entire journey matters from infancy to adulthood, but the end of the matter is to let God’s glory shape every decision we make in parenting.

A second goal is to lead our children to discover a healthy, growing relationship with Jesus. So, when they are young and depend on our care, we bring them to church, read the Bible as a family, and teach them how to pray (Deut 6:4-14). We raise them in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:1-4) as we let them witness Christ in us and in the examples of fellow believers (1 Cor 11:1). We also show them Christ in the moments when we fail and need to ask forgiveness from them (Prov 28:13). We celebrate each time their journey brings them closer to Jesus. And we pray that one day our children will also become our brothers and sisters in Christ (3 John 4).

Our third goal is to prepare our children to one day leave our home, and also our authority (Gen 2:24). We train them in the way they should go even if they do not like it (Prov 22:6). We strengthen them with affirmation, so that they know they can trust our love. We help them grow in their maturity until they can thrive physically, emotionally, and spiritually without us. We both inch backward to the edge of the parenting seesaw until we jump off simultaneously and send our child out into the world. Such a balancing act requires wisdom, communication, and a whole lot of God’s grace, but it must be done for the good of our children (Ps 127:1-5).

So, let’s consistently parent with these goals in mind. And let’s also try to have some fun along the way as the seesaw has been a source of joy since ancient civilizations.

Painting by Francisco de Goya

Questions for Application:

1. Where are you and your child on the seesaw right now?

2. What’s the next step for their development in maturity?

3. Have you communicated clearly with your child about each step in the process?

4. Are you and your spouse in the same place as you raise your children in the Lord?

Resources for Further Study:

• ACBC resources on parenting

• CCEF resources on parenting

• Clarkson, Sally & Sarah. The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2016).

• Fitzpatrick, Elyse, and Jessica Thompson. Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011).

• Hughes, Kent & Barbara Hughes. Disciplines of a Godly Family (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2004).

• IBCD resources on parenting

• Jensen, Emily, and Laura Wifler. Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2019).

• Lifeline, Mini-Books for Teens series.

• MacArthur, John. Being a Dad Who Leads (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2014).

• Nah, Dan. “Counseling Youth” (seminar series at Lighthouse Community Church).

• Newheiser, Jim, and Elyse Fitzpatrick. You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 2010).

• Priolo, Lou. Teach Them Diligently: How to Use the Scriptures in Child Training (Woodruff, SC: Timeless Texts, 2000).

• Ryle, J. C. “17 Things Every Christian Parent Must Do.” ERLC (blog).

• SOLA Network, Grace Across Generations: A Letter to the Asian American Family (New Growth, 2027).

• Sugimura, Tom. Hope for New Dads: 40 Days in the Book of Proverbs (Amazon, 2018).

• Tautges, Paul. “9 Marks of a Christian Family,” Counseling One Another (blog).

• Tripp, Paul. Parenting: 14 Gospel Practices That Can Radically Change Your Family (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016).

• Tripp, Tedd. Shepherding a Child’s Heart (Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press, 1995).

• Truth.Love.Parent. “Biblical Parenting Essentials” (series).

• Ware, Bruce. Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2009).

• Younts, John. Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children (Wapwallopen, PA: Shepherd Press, 2004).

Those were my own words as a teenager who was losing my faith in God. Even though I had grown up in the church with a loving family, professed my faith in Jesus from an early age, and knew all the Bible stories from Sunday school—I was losing my faith in God.

I questioned if the Bible was really true and worried that I’d simply inherited the Christian faith from my believing parents. I found myself getting angry at God, at my family, and at those in the church who believed so blindly. I was ready to walk away for good if God could not answer my demands.

But God met me as an arrogant teenager, and taught me how to trust in him. Since then, as I pastor and counselor, I’ve talked with many precious souls dealing with the mess of deconstruction. And I’ve now written a mini-book with Lifeline and Shepherd Press to help teens navigate those times when they experience doubts and questions about the Christian faith.

Please consider gifting this valuable resource to students, youth leaders, and parents in your church.

It’s short – You can read this booklet in one sitting (maybe 20-30 minutes), but the truth condensed within will give you plenty to discuss.

It’s shareable – My goal in writing is for teens to read with parents, youth leaders, and peers. It can be used in homes, youth groups, Sunday school classes, counseling sessions, and discipleship groups.

It’s biblical – The explanation of both problem and solution are from God’s Word, and the practical wisdom is drawn directly from the Scriptures. This approach to deconstruction uniquely calls for strugglers to hold onto God’s Word instead of tearing it up and starting over.

It’s supported – This mini-book is part of a growing series designed specifically for teens. Lifeline also provides free online projects for growth for those who desire to go deeper (see example below).

A Savior for Those Who Doubt

How to do this study:

Read the Gospel accounts listed below to see how Jesus cares for those who doubt. For each disciple (or potential disciple)…

• Describe in your own words the questions they have about Jesus.

• Identify their underlying motive—what they want in life.

• Then, show how Jesus answers them and ministers specifically to each person.

Please don’t be discouraged if you struggle to know what to write down for some of the prompts. Just go on to the next biblical character and continue learning. You can also bring your questions to a trusted, godly adult to help you understand what you are reading.

Next, set aside some time to prayerfully review your journal entries. Consider the questions at the end of this study to help you personally apply what you are learning to your own struggles with doubt.

A Savior for Those Who Doubt

1. Nathanael, who hopes for the Messiah (John 1:43–51)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Nathanael

2. Nicodemus, who marvels at being born again (John 3:1–15; also 7:40–52; 19:38–42)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Nicodemus

3. The Samaritan woman, who lives with shame (John 4:1–30)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what she wants

• How Jesus ministers to her

4. The hardened sailors, who fear life’s storms (Mark 4:35–41)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what they want

• How Jesus ministers to them

5. John the Baptist, who sits in prison (Matthew 11:1–19)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to John

6. Peter, who tries to walk on water (Matthew 14:22–33)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Peter

7. The Jews, who grumble about the Bread of Life (John 6:22–66)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what they want

• How Jesus ministers to the Jews

8. The father, who truly desires to believe (Mark 9:14–29)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to him

9. The rich young ruler, who loves his wealth (Mark 10:17–31)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to him

10. Mary and Martha, who mourn their brother’s death (John 11:1–44)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what they want

• How Jesus ministers to Mary and Martha

11. Judas Iscariot, who betrays his friend (John 13:21–30; also 18:1–5)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Judas

12. Simon Peter, who denies his master (Mark 14:26–31; also vv.66–72; John 21:15–19)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Peter

13. Pontius Pilate, who questions Jesus before condemning him (John 18:33–19:16)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Pilate

14. The faithful women, who find the empty tomb (John 20:11–18)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what they want

• How Jesus ministers to them

15. Thomas, who needs to see things for himself (John 20:24–29; see 14:1–7)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what he wants

• How Jesus ministers to Thomas

16. Jesus’ disciples, who are slow to realize his resurrection (Luke 24:13–53)

• Questions about Jesus

• Motive: what they want

• How Jesus ministers to his disciples

Application Questions:

• What common themes do you see about how Jesus cares for those who doubt?

• Which biblical character(s) do you relate with the most? How do their questions or personal experiences resonate with you? How has this study helped you examine your own heart motives for doubting God?

• If you could talk with Jesus right now, what questions would you ask him about your faith? How do you think he would answer you? Go ahead and take that opportunity to have a conversation in prayer.

Christ, Our Glorious Go-Between

“For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time” (1 Tim 2:5-6).

• This mediator who stands between God and man could not be God alone because a mediator must represent both of the parties.

• Yet neither could this mediator be human alone, for no creature in heaven or on earth was fit to undertake the divine work of redemption (1 Sam 2:25a; Job 9:32-33).

Therefore, speaking uniquely of Christ, John Owen writes, “He is God and man in one person. In him are two distinct natures, the one, eternal, infinite, immense, almighty, the form and essence of God; the other having a beginning in time, finite, limited, confined to a certain place, which is our nature. This nature he took to himself when he was ‘made flesh, and dwelt among us’” (27). There are many ways that we can waste our lives, but “this glory of Christ in his divine-human person, is the best, the most noble and beneficial truth that we can think about or set our hearts on” (29).

Consider that Christ, who was in very nature God, willingly took upon himself man’s fleshly nature so that he could serve as our glorious mediator (Phil 2:5-8). Christ never ceased to be God, of course, but rather veiled his divine glory for a time while he truly lived and truly suffered and was exposed to every earthly evil just like other men. “He willingly humbled himself in order that he might make a righteous peace between God the Judge and man the sinner” (38). Not one of us can measure, let alone span this distance between infinite God and finite man. In fact, we would not even know of God’s existence and of his glory except that he humbled himself to become like one of us. How utterly amazing that the absolutely transcendent One still takes notice of the lowliest on earth and pours out his compassion! This is grace—God’s undeserved love—that he would sacrifice his Son for sinful man (John 3:16; Rom 11:33-36).

Christ, Our Living Word

For this reason, we read our Bibles because the glory of Scripture is the only external means of truly knowing the glory of Christ.

• In Scripture, we see Christ in his person and his work.

• In Scripture, we see Christ in the prophecies and the promises.

• In Scripture, we see Christ in the typology of Israel’s feasts and festivals.

It is the folly of believers when we are so quick to assent to such marvelous truths instead of fully marinating in their juices. We fail to meditate deeply because our minds are so cluttered and distracted by earthly matters. Yet how can we long for heaven, where we will gaze forever upon the glories of Christ, if we have no taste for such wonders here on earth? “We must, rather, make every effort to let that glory so fill our hearts with love, admiration, adoration and praise to him that our souls will be transformed into his image” (36).

This glory of Christ, then, which radiates like beams of sunlight, appears brilliant to the believer but remains unseen by those who are still blind (Heb 1:3). Satan himself, though disguised as an angel of light, pridefully looks with hatred upon both God and man. Thus, the God-Man, Jesus Christ, puts Satan to everlasting shame by the power of both natures united in one person.

He had to be truly human in order to sympathize and suffer

As fully man, Jesus understands our suffering: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb 4:15).

And only a man could give up his life for us: “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Heb 2:17-18; see v. 14).

He had to be truly divine in order to satisfy and secure

As fully God, Christ alone could offer the atoning sacrifice for sin: “And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God” (Heb 10:15).

And only God could secure our salvation for all eternity: “Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them” (Heb 7:25).

Christ, Our Sure Refuge

Christ is a sure refuge for all those who place their trust in him: both for sin-distressed souls and for those weighed down by spiritual sorrows. When we go to such a friend, two questions might arise:

1. Is this person able to help me?

2. And are they willing?

Praise God, that Christ Jesus is both able and willing because of his divine and human nature. Christ demonstrates his ability by remaining in very nature God, and he demonstrates his willingness by humbling himself to become a man. It is no fault in him if we do not receive his comfort and strength, but rather a lack of faith in us.

*Our church’s theme this year is “Beholding Christ.” So, our elders have decided to read a short little book by John Owen, The Glory of Christ (Banner of Truth, 2024). Along the way, I’m sharing some devotional tidbits we discover.

[1] Theologians describe this as the hypostatic union.

Photo by Jan Canty on Unsplash

In depression, your friend has stopped functioning in one way or another. She cannot go from zero to 60 in a heartbeat, and often can’t even start the ignition.

Difficult circumstances in a fallen world have led to her discouragement. She may be able to push through the fog most days, but prolonged discouragement has led to discontentment (e.g., Num 14), and discontentment to despair (e.g., Ps 69:20). Her slide down this spiral of depression requires a patient friend to help her emerge again into the light of Christ.

Consider some ways to walk slowly and holistically with your friend:

• Physically – Encourage her to do the small stuff like getting out of bed each day and eating regular meals. When Elijah felt like dying, God served him a heaven-cooked dish, tucked him into bed, and had him walk a mountain once his strength had been revived (e.g., 1 Kgs 19). Diet, sleep, and exercise are often the very best medicine.

• Spiritually – Pray with your friend, and for her (Jas 5:16). Handpick one Bible verse for daily encouragement, not twenty. Isaiah 41:10 is rock solid: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Guide her to confess any sins or shortcomings to the Lord. David needed a Nathan, but the Corinthians needed a Paul (e.g., 2 Sam 12; 2 Cor 7:8-11).

• Cognitively – Meditate together on Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Talk about what it looks like to take self-deception captive and to put on true thoughts with a mind renewed by Christ (Eph 4:20-24; 2 Cor 10:4-5).

• Behaviorally – Memorize also Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” What is one way, this week, your friend can live out acts of kindness that cultivate her love for Christ and for his people (Matt 22:37-40)?

• Socially – Walk with her through the park. Sit together in the worship service (Heb 10:24-25). Rejoice when she meets with friends for coffee. It’s certainly healthy to be alone from time-to-time, but God has created us for community such that our relationships are a mess worth making (Gen 2:18; 1 John 1:3).

• Emotionally – Make a list of what she likes to do, then tick them off one at a time. If she can’t think of a single activity, take her out to the ballgame (even if it’s just your son’s Little League). Enjoy the sunlight and fresh air (Eccl 11:7-8). Buy some popcorn from the concession stand. Chuckle at the baseball dads who take the game a bit too seriously. Just like despair, loving life can be contagious (e.g., 1 Thess 2:8).

• Medically – Remind her to see a doctor and to get regular checkups. Help her to navigate the wisdom of appropriate medication (e.g., 1 Tim 5:23). Perhaps offer a ride and sit in the waiting room if she’s too anxious to do it alone. Help the weak, and be enduringly patient with your friend (1 Thess 5:14).

Let’s walk slowly and holistically with the depressed, and rejoice with each small step. For in like manner, Christ walks with us as we progress in our own sanctification (2 Pet 1:3-11).

Here are some helpful resources for counseling the depressed:

• Eswine, Zack. Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for Those who Suffer from Depression (Christian Focus, 2015).

• Institute for Biblical Counseling & Discipleship (IBCD) free resources

• Piper, John. When the Darkness Will Not Lift: Doing What We Can While We Wait for God—and Joy (Crossway, 2006).

• Tautges, Paul. “Six Disciplines of a Depressed Soul,” Biblical Counseling Coalition (blog).

• Welch, Ed. Depression: Looking up from the Stubborn Darkness (New Growth, 2011).

[1] Tim Keller, in his sermon on “The Wounded Spirit,” explains that the human spirit can be crushed physically (Prov 14:30), emotionally (12:25), morally (28:1), existentially (14:13), and spiritually (15:13). This complex suffering of depression often needs holistic healing.

Does it mean that we excuse any sin or wrongdoing against us? Does it mean that we simply bear with one another for the sake of love? Should a wife remain in a marriage with her abusive husband? Should we stay on the job with a bullying boss? Should we avoid every trace of conflict at the next family gathering?

First, consider some biblical passages:

• Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

• Proverbs 17:9, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

• Proverbs 28:13, “Whoever conceals [covers] his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

• Psalm 32:1, 5, “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. . . I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

• Psalm 85:2, “You forgave the iniquity of your people; you covered all their sin.”

• 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

• James 5:19-20, “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”

To Cover An Offense

From these passages, we see that the motivation for covering comes from a heart of love and not hatred. It then results in peace instead of strife—in reconciliation instead of broken relationships. Most importantly, God covers our sin by his loving forgiveness, and not by our own human effort. None of us can ever cover (or conceal) our own sin, nor should we sweep it under the rug for others. So by the beauty of God’s grace, we confess our sin in order to be forgiven. And by the beauty of God’s grace, we forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven us (Eph 4:32).

In the Old Testament, when God’s people offered sacrifices in the temple, their sins were covered/atoned for [kaphar] by a loving God (Lev 16). So also, as we seek to forgive one another as God has forgiven us, love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet 4:8). But when does this happen? Sin is covered [kasa] only after confession and forgiveness, but not before (see Pss 32:1-5; 85:2). Covering comes at the end of the process (Jas 5:19-20), not the beginning (and not without forgiveness).

To Overlook An Offense

Comparatively, “overlooking an offense” is not the same as “covering an offense,” though sometimes the two are conflated. According to Proverbs 19:11, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Such an offense is a genuine transgression—not just a mistake of a lack of consideration (Ps 51:3).

“To overlook an offense” similarly requires the heart of God—being longsuffering or “slow to anger” (Ps 145:8; Jas 1:19-20). The Septuagint even translates it with a focus on patience: “A merciful man is patient, and his boast overcomes lawbreakers.”^[1] Overlooking, though, does not simply mean to ignore the offense, for wrongdoing still requires punishment (Rom 6:23a). Instead, it means to take the punishment on oneself—to eat the cost—to forgo revenge (Rom 12:17-21). When I overlook an offense, I am still forgiving you without requiring that you make payment on the debt (Luke 11:4).

Perhaps a friend is rude to me, or my wife says an unkind word. I may only address those offenses if they have become a characteristic pattern of behavior. It is often more gracious to overlook the offense unless it dishonors Christ or threatens harm.

I also imagine that God overlooks many of my own offenses and forgives me of many sins which I am not aware. Although the omniscient God will never forget my transgressions, he surely removes them as far as the east is from the west (Ps 103:12).

Summary:

• To overlook an offense means to forgive without requiring the transaction of confession and repentance.[2]

• To cover an offense means to forgive after confession and repentance have taken place.

• Both still require forgiveness and payment to cover the cost. Yet both are made possible by Christ’s loving sacrifice on the cross (1 John 2:2; 4:10).

• Praise God that, in Christ Jesus, I am forgiven! And may I also extend such loving forgiveness to others (Col 3:12-14).

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

^[1] Rick Brannan, et. al., eds., The Lexham English Septuagint (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012), Proverbs 19:8.

[2] This does not mean I shouldn’t confess an offense when I am made aware of it.

Yet if fear is forbidden, does that make it a sin?

Image by Trisha Keehn

Good Fear

Certainly, there are good kinds of fear. There is the fear of the Lord which is “the beginning of knowledge” (Prov 1:7; 9:10). There is the genuine concern we have for fellow believers (1 Cor 12:24-25). And there is the natural God-given fear we experience when we meet a bear in the woods. Fear quickens our heart rate, increases oxygen output to our muscles, and sends adrenaline coursing through our veins which prepares our body to take action. We don’t need to consciously instruct our brain to do all this because fear is an instinctive physiological reaction. The only decision we must make in the moment is “fight” or “flight,” depending on the size of the bear.

Biblical counselor, Ed Welch, states that fear is not a sin, but a call to active faith.[2] Fear only becomes a problem when left unattended. Fear is natural. It is normal. The Lord even expects it in the believer’s life (Pss 55:4-6; 2 Cor 7:5). Welch defines fear as human weakness. “But weakness is not sin,” he writes, “Weakness means that we need help from God and other people” (Heb 4:15).

Therefore, God’s exhortation should be read like a Good Shepherd comforting his sheep: “Fear not, little flock” (Luke 12:32). These are the words of a loving Father for his precious children: “Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt 6:26). Such truths are spoken with compassion, not condemnation. They are no more a command than, “Do not weep” (Luke 7:13), or, “Take heart, my son” (Matt 9:2).[3] For those who are of “little-faith” must grow in their maturity more than they need repentance (e.g., Luke 17:5). Fear can lead to disobedience (e.g., Num 14; 1 Sam 15:24) or prayerless trust in man (e.g., Hos 7:14; Isa 7:10-12), but fear itself is not a sin.

Counselors, then, should take this same approach of compassionate care instead of laying on guilt for life’s common concerns. Welch offers this gentle corrective to encourage the weak instead of harshly rebuking their anxiety.

Image by Christine Miller

Bad Fear

It also seems, though, that there are times when fear is bad.

• Foolish fear merits a rebuke, however gentle: “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” (Matt 8:26).

• Irrational fear might excuse our laziness: “There is a lion in the streets!” (Prov 26:13).

• Fear can steal our time when it is unproductive like a hamster scrambling on a treadwheel (Matt 6:27, 34).

• Fear is unnecessary because our God is powerful, compassionate, and absolutely trustworthy (Matt 6:26, 28-30).

• Fear can also rend the soul. The Greek word for anxiety (merimnao) stresses the action and effects of sinful fear: “To divide, rip, tear apart, be anxious, distract the attention” (Phil 4:6; Matt 6:27; Mark 4:19). This happens when we are torn between following God’s desires and our own fleshly desires.

• Fear is unbecoming of the Christian because it focuses on earthly values, not eternal ones (Matt 6:25)—the gifts and not the Giver. It chases what we do not have and reveals our love for the world (vv. 31-32). It can even be rooted in idolatry since fear is the flipside of desire (v. 24).

• Fear can be a sign of spiritual captivity which should not be in our nature as children chosen by God: “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Rom 8:15).

• Fear did not control the life of Christ. For although our Savior was fully tempted by fear and anxiety, he did not succumb to sin (Heb 4:15). Although he experienced an appropriate physiological response to the terrors of the cross, he directed those concerns to God in prayer (Luke 22:41-44).

• Fear can indicate a lack of love as John reminds the church, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18).

• Fear can show a lack of faith: “Do not fear; only believe” (Luke 8:50). So, if Jesus tells us, “Do not fear,” and then we fear, “It is a sin.” In fact, it is wise to fear our unbelief in view of God’s severe mercy (Rom 11:20-22). We must tame our fear of man by rightly fearing God (e.g., Matt 10:28; Acts 5:29).

• Fear often drives us away from God, instead of to him (e.g., Gen 3:10; Luke 19:21; Jas 2:19). So, in those times, we must repent.

In summary (though admittedly a less-catchy title), fear is not always a sin, but it is always an opportunity to honor Christ and to trust in God.

So, When Do We Cross the Line?

Fear is sometimes commended, but at other times not. For instance, both kinds occur side-by-side in Exodus 20:20, “Moses said to the people, ‘Do not fear [bad], for God has come to test you, that the fear of him [good] may be before you, that you may not sin.’”

Yet we end up crossing the line from natural fear to sinful anxiety when:

• All our thoughts are concerned about changing the future. The channel of our thoughts gets stuck on future events which are beyond our scope of responsibility. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matt 6:34).

• Anxiety controls us instead of us controlling it. The Christian receives the spiritual fruit of self-control (Gal 5:22-25). So even when our fears arise, we have courage in Christ to overcome.

• We stop functioning in life and neglect our relationships. We cannot love God and neighbor well when we are too focused on ourselves (Matt 22:37-40).

• We start losing hope instead of finding answers in the Lord (Lam 3:16-26).

I certainly agree with Welch, though, that fear is a call to action, requiring wisdom in our counsel appropriate to the situation. For this reason, we admonish the sinful, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and remain patient with all (1 Thess 5:14). So let us walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called (Eph 4:1). “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim 1:7).

Here are some helpful resources to study further:

9Marks Counseling Talk (podcast), “On Anxiety” (3-part series).

ACBC Resources, “Anxiety.”

DeCourcy, Philip. Help! I’m Anxious (Shepherd Press, 2018).

Fitzpatrick, Elyse. Overcoming Fear, Worry and Anxiety: Becoming a Woman of Faith and Confidence (Harvest House, 2023).

IBCD Archive, “Worry and Anxiety.”

Jones, Robert. Why Worry? Getting to the Heart of Your Anxiety (P&R, 2018).

Joyful Journey (podcast), “Anxiety and Panic Attacks.”

MacArthur, John. Anxious for Nothing: God’s Cure for the Cares of Your Soul (David C. Cook, 2012).

Mack, Wayne & Joshua. Courage: Fighting Fear with Fear (P&R, 2014).

Powlison, David. Overcoming Anxiety: Relief for Worried People (New Growth, 2008).

Priolo, Lou. Fear: Breaking Its Grip (P&R, 2009).

Scott, Stuart. Anger, Anxiety, and Fear: A Biblical Perspective (Focus, 2009).

Tautges, Paul. Anxiety: Knowing God’s Peace (31-Day Devotionals for Life) (P&R, 2019).

Thorne, Helen. Hope in an Anxious World (Good Book, 2021).

Wallace, Jocelyn. Anxiety and Panic Attacks: Trusting God When You’re Afraid (Faith, 2013).

Weidmann, Josh. The End of Anxiety: The Biblical Prescription for Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Panic (Salem, 2020).

Welch, Ed. Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest (New Growth, 2007).

Welch, Ed. A Small Book for the Anxious Heart (New Growth, 2019).

[1] Although there are slight nuances, this post addresses fear and anxiety as overlapping.

[2] This book expands Welch’s article in JBC 34.1 (2020), 7-19.

[3] In Greek, the imperatival form can also present a request or make an entreaty. For example, we use it to petition in prayer even though we are not commanding God (e.g., “Give us this day our daily bread”).

The following tool (adapted from other sources) is helpful for gathering information about a new counselee and letting them share about themselves. I will either have a counselee fill out these questions in advance, or I’ll use the structure to take notes as they share their story in the counseling session. Even for those who counsel less formally, this is a helpful tool to make sure you’re asking good questions that span the breadth of a person’s life.

So, What’s Your STOREE?

Invitation: I’m grateful to the Lord for the opportunity to meet with you and sincerely desire to understand what’s happening in your life. To get started, would you tell me your “STOREE” as a way for me to learn some general information about you? Your answers can be short, but please provide at least a few sentences for each section. Thank you for your help as I prayerfully anticipate our meeting together.

S – Situation: Describe your current circumstances. What’s going on in your life? What seems to be the main problem? How do you hope I can help you?

T – Thoughts: How are you typically thinking about the situation (i.e., What thoughts regularly go through your mind when you struggle)? What do you think or wonder about yourself in relation to the situation? What do you think of others in relation to the situation? What do you like to think about in general? What do you do to occupy your mind?

O – Others: How are other people involved in this? How does your situation impact them? What have others done to compound or alleviate the problem? Describe your closest relationships.

R – Responses: What are you doing about this matter? What have you done in the past to address it? How do you react when it becomes a problem? What are your typical actions or responses (e.g., “I get angry and go for a drive”)? When you are feeling pressure in life, how does it come out?

E – Emotions: Describe your typical emotions throughout the day. What makes you feel fearful or anxious? What makes you angry? What would make you happy (related to this situation)? What would give you peace (related to this situation)?

E – Expectations: What do you desire (related to the situation)? What would you like? What are you getting that you’re not wanting? What are you wanting that you’re not getting? What do you think you need the most (e.g., “I need respect”)? What are you hoping will happen through counseling?