She died in July 2017, so that’s 8 birthdays with out her. Not that I’m counting or anything .

I had to chuckle earlier .

I decided to shave my legs. People have a tendency to presume I’m high maintenance. I’m really not. I WAS resembling a bloody woolly mammoth. The last time I shaved my legs was September last year! …

Anyway I’ve haphazardly shaved them in the bath today , or rather I’ve butchered them. They are nicked and bleeding in several areas and theres the makings of a blobby rash rearing its ugly head. Guess I’m Wearing trousers to work for the foreseeable..

I can hear my mum now “oh Tracey, you need to pay more attention to what you are doing . . . Can you remember that time you shaved your face “ before falling around laughing.

How could I forget ??

When I was about 13 or 14 years old I decided to get dad’s BIC razor and shave my entire face just like I’d seen him doing. I’ve No idea why but I was always doing something I shouldn’t be. Always intrigued . Dad told me on numerous occasions that he’d never met a child as inquisitive as me .

When the razor marks started forming into angry raised red lines on my sensitive child’s  skin it was hard to deny or hide it. My mum & dad never let me live it down.

I saw my cousin at a funeral a few months  ago and she even bloody brought it up. “ remember that time when you shaved your face? “

I am the plonker of the family. The one that shaved her face !

Anyway back to mum; I  honestly don’t think there’s  been a day since she died where I’ve not thought about her in some context .

Don’t get me wrong It’s easier , I don’t cry so much ( I still have my moments ) but I miss her a lot and I recon the missing is getting worse. Or maybe longing would be a more appropriate word. I long to see her, to have a good catch up over an over priced coffee.

I’ve lived 9 years of my life and she’s not been there for any of it. I feel cheated because we never got to do half the things we’d planned to do. She was meant to be the little old lady with white hair I wheeled around and got into mischief with.

I do wear her wedding ring.

It’s not come off my finger since 10th July, 2017. I darent take it off , I would 100% lose it. I’d lose my own ( once shaved) head if it wasn’t screwed on; so I just keep it on and it feels like I’m carrying a little piece of her around with me. I like to think she was there at Benson Boone, in Italy with us last year … etc etc . Little things that seem fanciful but get you through the day. That’s where I’m at.

So I romanticise;  I imagine Mums  sat looking down on us all , her favourite G& T in one hand, direct from her special cloud … you know like the one the Gods sat around on in ‘Jason & the Argonauts’

I like to imagine her and Dad holding hands for infinity … laughing about the time their daft daughter shaved her face❤️

Happy Birthday Mum

Love you to the moon and back always x x x

Now I know Matera isn’t in Puglia it sits just outside in Basilicata but it’s one of the main reasons we ended up there this year for the annual ladies week away.

Let me explain. . .before we did our research we thought Matera was in Puglia too! Mistakenly it’s often tagged as being in Puglia, especially on Instagram.

So after other suggestions being ruled out and to cut a long story short we decided Puglia was our chosen destination for this years holiday, and we somehow ended up making Lecce our base.

I’m guessing there was lots of debate & discussion. We are very thorough. Lisa however ended up finding this amazing villa and we couldn’t resist her.

Booked in January this year. We only had 10 months to wait ! More about her later ( the apartment, not Lisa)

So for the boring bit, getting there…

The 5 of us flew from Manchester to Brindinski. We had no Leigh this year, our friend who usually joins us from Spain. She’s a new grandma and had plans with a beautiful little lady. She was missed.

Our flights were just under £200 each and flight times were reasonable . 16.25 on the way out and 21.25 on the way back.

At this time of year Ryan Air only fly twice a week to Brindinski from Manchester ; 2 flights a day Saturday & Tuesdays! No other airlines fly there ( from manchester) in October .

We are so neglected up here. No north / south divide my arse. Don’t even get me started !

Ryan Air baggage check-in staff were surprisingly helpful , which was a blessing as the self serve check in was like a bun fight. I’m not sure it’s any quicker; if anything it takes longer and there was lots of kicking machines , throwing cases & cursing.

The flight was smooth & pain free. Being situated in the middle of the plane however by the time they came to offer us food and drink … there was no ‘proper’ food left.

Beer and a Kit Kat it was then - NOT even a chunky KitKat a bog standard one !!

Brindinski airport is tiny. I think it has just 15 gates . Most flights fly into Bari but for us staying in Lecce Brindinski was the best option as it’s a lot closer.

By the time we had departed the plane and queued to go through passport control the airport was empty and shutting shop. It wasn’t a quick process as there were only 2 facial Recognition cameras and a security officer that shouted at everybody … but it was straight forward.

Our mini bus driver for the week (recommended & organised by our amazing Air BnB host) was waiting for us outside the airport. Mirco our driver was lovely … his bus however had seen better days .

When we got speed up it felt like the wheels and back end were going to fall off and it was cellotape central . Windows, doors, seats all held together with tape . I’m hoping after his week with us he might invest some money into making it less creaky and more comfortable … or ideally buy a new one !!

The journey from the airport to Lecce took 40 minutes and was €170 ( return) , around £30 each , £15 each way. I can’t even get into Sheffield for that !

Accommodation

Like I stated earlier my friend Lisa found this beauty on Air BNB. Search - Oasi Gorgoni - Lecce. It was spacious and comfortably slept 5 . There were 2 double bedrooms & 2 bathrooms upstairs. A small kitchen and a large eating area /living room.

Downstairs there was another bedroom, with its own wash room / toilet and exercise area including an exercise bike.

It was the outdoor space that sold it for us. It was Just a shame the weather didn’t play ball and we didn’t get to enjoy it all that much.

I went in the pool a couple of times and I swear the first time I couldn’t feel my legs and I thought my heart might stop . I gave Wim Hoff a run for his money. It was bloody freezing but very invigorating.

The villa was the perfect base for exploring. Situated in a residential area , It was a straight forward 10/15 minute stroll into the old town. The pavements however are very uneven and it’s not really considered for wheelchair users.

We ended up walking into Lecce during the day when we could see and navigate the wheelchair around the ‘dodgey’ bits.

At night we would get a taxi in. This cost about 16€ per trip, which was a lot for the distance. It was less than a mile !!

The villa cost us £360 each for 8 nights, although we only stayed for 7. There is method in our madness . Check out was 10.00am and our flight was 9.30pm

Rather than walk around aimlessly for hours we paid for the extra night even though we weren’t staying and that way we could mooch around the Villa all day and leave at 6.00pm . Luckily by this time the sun had made an appearance so we enjoyed a day around the pool. Yay !

L E C C E • is stunning. The light at around 4/5pm was magical . I’m not a photographer, I’m just very passionate , got a keen eye and I’m always looking at things through a cameras eye ( if that makes any sense ) .

The way the light fell on the buildings . Stunning.

The buildings themselves. Stunning.

Lecce is … simply stunning.

You must go and visit the cathedral in “Piazza del Duomo” ( cathedral square) She is truly majestic. Nothing has blown me away quite as much as Palma cathedral to date …but she’s definitely up there. It’s 7€ entry and 11€ if you want to go up the tower.

Not many people speak English ( and why should they ) , so you ‘feel’ like you are abroad . I love that . There’s no ‘English breakfast for a tenner’ kind of places. It feels very unspoilt.

If you ask for a coffee, you will most likely receive a tiny , strong expresso . We made that mistake a few times!

Instead ask for a cappuccino or try a local style coffee - Salento coffee ( almond milk and ice ) it is delicious or Crema di caffe which is more ice cream than coffee. Which is totally fine by me !

Nightlife • according to our taxi driver there are no nightclubs in Lecce , just late-late bars. I’m not sure that’s correct but we didn’t see any to be fair .

It was fairly quiet on an evening which may have been attributed to us visiting out of holiday season and the bloody awful weather . It rained & we had gale force winds for the first 3 days. Not what we had envisaged ! The locals were all in puffer jackets , scarves and woolly hats. Spot the British in shorts and sandals !

Below heading out-out

I’m saying it was quiet; Lecce has a big student population and on our last night; Friday night it was rammed. Everyone had come out to play.

People watching central !

We rolled in most mornings at 2.00/3.00am and it didn’t spoil anything. There was no point letting the weather ruin it. I’m a firm believer in embracing whatever is thrown at you.

Also with the right people you can have fun whatever and wherever!

Also the faces of my friends when I pulled my tripod out of my case . Priceless :)

We all layered up ,bought a scarf and we ate some amazing food (and on one occasion some not so amazing food)

The drinks were surprisingly cheap. We never paid over 10€ /£8.50 for our drink of favour Limocello Spritz. The cheapest we found was 5€ /£4.30.

Horse meat features heavily on many of the menus. I know we are supposed to embrace different cultures but … I just couldn’t. It’d be like eating Black Beauty !

We found a couple of amazing restaurants -

00 Doppiozero , Via Paladini 2, Lecce

Instagram @doppiozero_lecce

Vibrant , lively atmosphere.Fun waiters & absolutely delicious food. We ate here a couple of times.

Historia Contemporanea, Via Giuseppe Libertini 64, Lecce

Lovely restaurant in the heart of the old town. It was quite small but had an outdoor garden eating area to the rear of the restaurant. It serves delicious pizza. All I remember is mine had lots of anchovies on it and it was 10/10

We also visited some lovely bars, I can’t remember the name of them all , we mooched , went in, moved on. But here are the ones I do.

Al Baffo Cocktails & Beers

Instagram @ albaffo_lecce

Anywhere that plays ‘Dancing Queen’ by ABBA so we could have a little dance is a plus in my books.

You can take the girl out of Sheffield and all that …

Laurus Cocktail Bar

Instagram @lauruslecce

Seriously good cocktails. All priced at 10€

Chilled vibe. The head waiter will concoct cocktails for you if you have something specific in mind .

Friendly waiters, with good taxi connections.

The little train tour costs 10€, takes around an hour & leaves from the main square bang outside the majestic cathedral . It is definitely worth going on. It takes you around the historic old town pointing out all the bits you would not want to miss.

I actually had a little nap. It was warm and the motion made me snoozy :)

D A Y T R I P P I N G • We based ourselves in Lecce but had organised few trips with Mirco and his ‘creaky’ mini bus .

Matera was obviously one of them , although it was quite the journey . It took 2.5 hours to get there but it was 100% worth it. She took my breath away and obviously we got to live out our James Bond fantasy’s . Bucket list destination ticked off.

It cost us 300€ / £260 for the return trip. Pick up was 9.00am , drop off back at the villa 7.30ish. Karen didn’t come as she had researched & read that it wasn’t very accessible for wheel chair users and she was right. It would be possible , just tricky in certain areas.

We did a further 2 day trips, a few days apart. These cost slightly less €240 / £208 between the 5 of us.

Ortranto, Bauxite Quarry ( NOT at all suitable for wheelchair users ) , Santa Cesarea Terme ( where we had the best salmon pasta I HAVE ever tasted ) and Castro. ( left us slightly underwhelmed but I’m sure sunshine makes a difference on coastal resorts )

and

Alberobello ( home of the trulli , absolutely packed full of tourists and utterly magical ), Locorotondo , Martina Franca & Ostuni ( all 3 are beautiful in their own unique way)

We packed a lot in to our days but we did not get long in each place. Usually a couple of hours at the most .

The mini bus was ideal for the 5 of us to get to places , but I realise it could be quite spendy if there were only a couple of you. I believe the best way if that was the case would be to hire a car for a few days.

On reflection we might have only visited 2 places a day , one morning, one afternoon rather than squeeze 4 in. But we were excited to see as much as we could in the time we had , so we crammed a lot in. I guess it has given us a taste of where we would maybe like to revisit again, explore further and the places we weren’t so bothered about.

What you will notice is that the outskirts of some of these places are vast & not so pretty . They are lived in and in areas are very industrial but still full of character.

Like with most places it is not a side that’s shown as I guess it’s not ‘social media perfect’ .

I love both sides and I ADORE a washing line.

Here are the places I would revisit to explore further, and while all of them had something to offer these just felt a little bit more special. Of course I would return to Matera in a heartbeat but also these …

O S T U N I • “White City” / Città Bianca. It is famous for its whitewashed buildings, narrow alleys, and beautiful architecture. Perched on a hill it has glorious panoramic views across the Valle d’Itra.

Due to this be prepared for hills and cobblestone streets, especially when exploring the historic center.

It’s not ideal for wheel Chair uses, or those who find walking difficult. However look out for the little ‘tuck tuck city tour vans’ that take you all over making it accessible for everyone . Perfect. I don’t know how much they charge , but can’t imagine it’s cheap.

As we went out of season the crowds were light , but it was still busy. I can imagine in high summer it could get packed and if that’s not your vibe I guess you either visit early in the day, or late at night . I’m the first to say that tourists spoil places … and I’m a tourist !

We didn’t have long here, just a quick hour but it had such a lovely vibe to it AND a VERY handsome Italian guy in the biscuit shop offered to run Karen & her wheel chair back to the mini bus. Of course we said no because you should never get in vehicles with strangers! Just kindness leaves a lasting impression …

This is another I definitely want to go back & see more …

I’m not sure why a place gets me, it’s just a feeling. Often when I’m walking around I envisage what it must have been like to live there all those years ago.

I’m very much in awe of the architecture. They built these beautiful structures years ago without any technology , just skill. Mind blowing.

L O C O R O T O N D O • was one of the places we visited where I instantly feel In love.

It is a town and municipality of the Metropolitan City of Bari, Apulia. It is situated between Martina Franca and Alberobello ( both beautiful and worth visiting ) in the Valle d’Itria, a green stretch of countryside dotted with the famous whitewashed cone-roofed trulli houses…

That’s the official line but I instantly fell in love with the maze of pretty walk ways sprinkled with cafes , restaurants & tiny hidden churches. With the flowers hung on the walls or cascading down the steps in decorative pots … even with the washing on the line , sheets billowing in the breeze . It just felt very special and I would definitely add to your list of places to visit.

This place at Christmas looks magical. Google it. I keep showing Micheal in the vain hope he’ll want to go and surprise me!

Accessibility wise when you reach the main square it’s very flat but it’s still fairly cobbly. One of the better options for wheel chair users.

Here are the best of the photos ( I seriously took 100’s) of all the places we visited, I think you’ll agree she’s rather beautiful.

M A R T I N A F R A N C A

Baroque architecture, winding alleys and elegant palaces

Each pair of hands represents a universal human value: friendship, wisdom, help, faith, hope, and love. The overall message is of connection, unity, and overcoming divisions — the hands “bridge” gaps, bring people together, and symbolize a shared humanity.

C A S T R O

Often referred to as the “Pearl of the Salento coast.”

A L B E R O B E L L O

The home of the trulli

B A U X I T E Q U A R R Y

5 minutes from Otranto it’s worth going if you are in the area as it’s very beautiful , but I wouldn’t make a special journey.

Totally unsuitable for wheel chair users / those who find walking difficult . It’s very rural.

O R T R A N T O

Whitewashed old town, turquoise sea and a medieval castle with a Greek influence

I could wax lyrical about our trip to Italy for ages and I may have to do a part 2 as this getting rather long.

If you have any questions please feel free to ask, I’m no expert on this region but I’ll help if I can.

As you can see I’ve totally fallen in love with Puglia . She’s stolen a little piece of my heart . I’m sure I say this about most of the places I visit but Puglia just felt a little bit more special.

I hope I get to see her again soon , and I hope you enjoyed my little round-up

Tracey x

I can however categorically state it’s one of the MOST beautiful cities I have EVER visited. I fell hook, line and sinker in love and I will definitely be going back. We squeezed a lot into our 4 days which I am going to share with you now …

The boring bit first …

The journey from the airport to the heart of Seville will take around 15 minutes and if I recall rightly it cost us approximately 25€ in a taxi. We flew from Manchester, there wasn’t much choice to be honest as flights are very limited for us northerners. Whats new there then ?

It’s HOT . In October when we visited it was freaky hot, like ‘boil in the bag’ hot. Apparently you should avoid visiting during the summer months as it’s stiffaling. Also wear comfy shoes, if you want to see everything it will involve lots of walking . The streets are narrow and cobbly in places… but dreamily beautiful .

We stayed in an Air BNB in the neighborhood of Alfalfa. It’s a great spot to base yourself. It’s a hive of narrow, bustling streets , tapas and wine bars. Very family friendly if you plan on taking your kids.

The apartment is situated in a residential area just off a busy little square with bars, restaurants, play area and a chemist.

You can book the apartment HERE

The large upstairs terrace is a definite selling point. Great for pre-brunch, pre-walk, pre-anything drinks with relaxing views and if you are lucky a slight breeze.

We found ourselves meandering around most days with a vague idea where we were headed but still getting lost. It’s a fun lost though …and somehow we always managed to end up where we wanted to be. It just took a little longer than anticipated!

Of course you will no doubt want to visit the main sights – Royal Alcazar de Sevilla, Plaza de Espana, Cathedral de Sevilla and La Giralda.

They all charge an entrance fee apart from Plaza de Espana which has free entry into the square. You will pay approx 15- 25€ to gain entry into the others . They are all must-sees, the Cathedral is spectacular. If like me a church / cathedral floats your boat you will be in your element. My only advice is to get there early to avoid the queues, the crowds and the instagrammers ! It would be advisable to pre-purchase your tickets , it works out slightly cheaper ,states an entrance time and usually means you can jump the queues.

Most places state that they are wheelchair friendly . Real Alcazar de Sevilla is absolutely stunning – it is the place they filmed some scenes for the Game of Thrones and was the one place I really wanted to venture [ massive GOT fan] … however unless the person in the wheelchair can actually walk it isn’t very friendly. There are lots of steps down into the gardens with no ramps making some areas inaccessible.

Just something to bear in mind if like ours your party includes someone who uses a wheelchair.

In Seville you will NEVER be short of somewhere to eat or drink, there are bars , cafes and restaurants on every corner.

We visited a handful and didn’t have a bad experience in any that I can recall. We did get a bit Tapas’ed out after a few days – I LOVE tapas however we went in all guns blazing but after a few days fried ‘everything’ gets a-bit much – hence the reason we sought out the Italian mentioned below.

When you fancy pasta, you fancy pasta !

La Casa del tesorero – C. Santander, 1, 41001 Sevilla is a little upmarket authentic Italian restaurant located near the Cathedral de Sevilla in the Santa Cruz area. It is steeped in history as our knowledgeable waiter informed us . It is located in the facilities of the former Royal Mint, the restaurant’s decoration has preserved the original distribution of the 16th century building. My camera had a funny , otherwise I would have gone photo crazy. Delicious interiors, delicious food. Helpful waiters . Highly recommend the pasta and the Irish coffee !

Casa de Gula , C. Álvarez Quintero, 9, 41004 Sevilla – Is the ideal spot for brunch, the food was yummy; avocado on toast kind of vibe with a fruit smoothie. The skull room upstairs that you walk through to get to the toilets is definitely worth a ganzy.

El Rinconcillo , C. Gerona, 40, 41003 Sevilla – Is the oldest tapas bar in Seville. It has been open since 1670!

Unfortunately it also had the rudest waiters serving on the day we attended . We didn’t stick around for long! You may hopefully be luckier.

Taberna Manzanilla , C. Capataz Manuel Santiago, 7, 41003 Sevilla [ just around the corner from El Rinconcillo],is a great spot for a cold beer. It is situated on a corner in a little square .

I am happy to report the waiters are amongst the friendliest we came across during our stay and it appears to be a spot the locals frequent.

The only little negative is the wooden chairs can be a little uncomfortable.

Hotel Dona Maria Roof Top terrace , Don Remondo, 19 Seville, Spain Definitely worth a visit.

Amazing views of the cathedral, great atmosphere and very lively . They serve a good selection of drinks [at not daft prices] and have the most fun bar staff. There is lift access so ideal for wheel chair users . We only wish we had found it sooner; we discovered it on our last night which is usually the case !

We did venture to EME Cathedral Hotel roof top bar on our first evening – Calle Alemanes 27 Seville. The views are absolutely stunning but you pay for them , it will cost you around €25 /€30 per drink. It was empty when we visited and to be honest we preferred Dona Maria – it had a lot more personality.

Breakfast in one of the little coffee houses facing the cathedral is a treat, great for people watching. Considering where they are situated – very reasonably priced too.

Alternative things to do –

I highly recommend the walk from Alfalfa to Macarana ; it takes you in the opposite direction and the hustle and bustle of the area around the cathedral. You get more of an idea how the locals live. We stumbled on a tiny cafe ,nestled next door to a glorious church. You could grab a coffee for 1€ and toast laden with tomatoes drizzled in oil for not much more. I did a separate blog post HERE

Notable places to visit while in Macarena – Basilica de la Macarena – is a neo-Baroque church building dating from 1949 built in honour of the virgin Mary ‘La Virgen de la Esperanza Macarena’. Entrance is around €4 . Unfortunately we didn’t have time to call in , as usual it took longer to walk there than we anticipated [ plus a coffee stop obviously] We also had a boat trip booked in the afternoon, but it looked impressive from the exterior and by all accounts definitely worth a visit while in Seville.

Triana is the district located on the other side of the Guadalquivir River in Seville. It is accessible by the bridge ‘Puente de Isabel II‘. It is a lively, working-class neighbourhood, not as pretty but interlaced with small , often cobbled streets that lead to intimate little squares . When you find where you are going , it is worth the trip.

We were advised we would see Flamenco on every corner in Seville, but after 3 whole days we had disappointingly seen nothing. We ventured into Triana with the prospect of experiencing Flamenco for ourselves. After a mad dash and with the help of a lovely local bar owner , who escorted us there [ I don’t advise following strange men down alleys but we were desperate] we eventually got to see some !! It was raw and very emotional . You can book tickets HERE

Speaking of the river, a trip down the Guadalquivir River is a great way to spend a few hours and you get to see Seville from another angle. The breeze was most welcome too ! We booked onto a private yacht tour in the UK a few weeks before we visited Seville. It was very pleasant. We had drinks, a small selection of meats and cheese, music and a guide. We booked through this company HERE Highly recommend.

Setas de Sevilla – mushroom of Seville . This Is a large Sculptural wooden structure with an archaeological museum, rooftop walkway & viewpoint looking out over Seville. It’s a hive of activity with shops and bars surrounding it. We stumbled across this on our last day . As architecture goes it’s amazing, it kind of blew my mind a-bit. Apparently the views from the rooftop walkway are amazing but we didn’t get that far as we had to leave for the airport . It is free to walk around.

For those that love shopping there is an large and rather amazing shopping area, which includes a Sephora .

Shopping on holiday is not for me, I personally can’t think of anything worse to do but if that’s your thing … you will be spoilt .

If like me you would rather go and have a beer somewhere and chill looking at amazing architecture [ it’s literally everywhere] , like I stated previously there’s an abundance of bars to while a way a few hours while your friends finish their shopping.

So in a nutshell that was our experience of Seville. ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. It really is a wonderful city. It had something for everyone and I doubt you could ever get bored. In fact I think we only touched the surface as there’s so much more to see and do.

Some places capture your heart and Seville is one of them. The architecture, history and general vibe is hard to beat. I’ve said it before in regards to other places but I really think Seville is my spiritual home – I could quite happily live there.

If you are planning to go I am sure you will have an amazing trip …

In fact can you squeeze a little one in your suitcase?

Tracey x

I’m sat listening to Rod Stewart , I don’t even like Rod Stewart but the songs feel familiar, like old friends I’ve not visited for a while. My mum loved Rod. I’m not a fan but I find myself singing along …

I like to imagine her sat alongside dad. Both of them swaying on their ‘special cloud’ with a massive G&T, watching over me.

I have had a few drinks and I am alittle merry. In this day and age of living ‘holier than thou’ it’s kinda scorned upon to drink ( especially at my age , the menopause etc etc ) but I don’t give 2 fecks … I like a drink.

It’s ok to like a drink .

It’s ok to not like a drink .

I’m in the ‘Whatever floats your boat’ camp, a-bit like botox … have it, don’t have it. You do you . It’s really non of my business.

I’m on the edge of being ok and being a tad squiffy. It’s a happy place. It’s a sad place. On the edge … balancing but ok.

I feel every single word of every song . It is why music is so very special. It evokes all the emotions. One minute I’m dancing , the next I’m fighting back the tears.

Memories, faces , places.

It’s the rhyme of life - the good, the bad, the goddam awful. Drinking , dancing and being a social butterfly … it’s how I choose to deal with things.

Mid way through typing this a well meaning lady has messaged me via DM saying “you’ll be ok” like I’ve just scrapped my knee and a plaster will suffice.

I know I will be ok, but both my parents are dead and it will take time to navigate that. I will be ok , under my terms which means sometimes I might not be ok. It might take more than a plaster.

Like I have said on numerous occasions over the last few years - friends are the family we choose. My friends are , and have always been absolute rocks. If I need them I can guarantee one of them will be there.

My mum and dad would want nothing more for me than that. To see me surrounded by love ; see me happy & dancing.

As a family we danced at every given opportunity. We were like the circus family …one that never made the fecking circus !

Choose wisely and you’ll never feel alone.

For me nothing will ever be the same as a mum or dad’s love … but it’s pretty dam close.

Well I’m not … but I am , or rather I was a virgin cruiser up until a couple of weeks ago!

In all honesty I have never really fancied a cruise. I had preconceived ideas it was for old people. Some may say I am an old person myself but you know … the appeal was never really there. Fuddy duddies who liked a set routine, quick step and the slow pace of a cruise.

How wrong could I be?

I have nothing to compare it too so seasoned cruisers you may disagree but like I said & to coin good old Barry White ‘ it was my first, it probably won’t be my last … it’s not my everything” … but it was good fun.

We were booked on the adults only ‘French Daze , Ibiza Nights’ cruise which sailed from Barcelona with Virgin Voyagers and I got the PR trip via Trending Travel.

People love to tell me how lucky I was to get a ‘free’ cruise but truth is by the time we had booked our flights , paid for the hotel the night before and bought alcohol on the ship ( which was not included in our package ) it wasn’t exactly free. We do like a good drink …

It was however very, very much appreciated; it was an absolutely amazing opportunity, another instagram pinch-me moment … and one off the old bucket list.

My first ever cruise! Whoop whoop !

We sailed , or should that be cruised on the ‘Scarlet Lady’ which has 17 decks & our ‘Seaview Terrace’ cabin was situated on deck 14. Precise location 14082 A. This cabin had a balcony with a table, chairs and the famous red hammock.

I LOVED THAT HAMMOCK

The rooms were a good size; bigger than I had envisaged .

There was a very comfortable double bed, lots of pillows , cushions & large screen TV. I was more than happy. There was a decent hairdryer, but no iron. It was very tech heavy with everything being operated or booked via the Virgin Voyagers app and the laptop in your cabin.

Apparently deck 14 can be noisy at times as it’s below deck 15 ( obviously) which is the lively part of the ship with the pool & the galley ( canteen like food court ).

There was a little noise – mainly what sounded like chairs / sun loungers being dragged around but I was up most mornings at 6 a.m to watch the sunrise. The boyfriend could sleep through a hurricane so it didn’t bother us in the slightest. I actually found it handy for nipping upstairs and grabbing a coffee/ice cream ! The lifts do get busy at certain times but we didn’t need them.

Deck 16 also has a smoking area, so it was handy for the BF.

Included in our cruise package were all our meals, essential drinks including water, tea & coffee, the entertainment & onboard facilities like the gym.

Alcohol (unfortunately) like I stated previously was not included.

I’ll start with the negatives because I always like to end on a positive .

The swimming pool.

It was not very big ; there was little or no swimming happening. I would class it more as an ‘adult paddling pool’ to have a cool down via your feet . There was a tiny part in the middle which was fairly deep ; the rest you could only paddle or sit in.

The Sun-beds are arranged so they are kissing the edge of the pool and at times it felt very much like everyone was on top of everyone. Great vibe with a live DJ playing most days … but just busy.

They do run a ‘40 minute no return policy’ where the bar / pool staff will remove your belongings and take them to lost property if the sun lounger is left empty for that length of time. On sea day however I clocked sun-beds with towels/ belongings on unused for a few hours but their belongings were not removed ?

Despite this & however busy it felt you could usually find somewhere to sit or lie down , even on the Sea day.

My favourite part of the ship ‘The Dock ‘ on deck 7 however got busy very quickly and you couldn’t always get a bed / seat there which was quite disappointing.

The Dock was a little more sophisticated & chilled. It is where you ordered the 3 little shrimps on sticks.

OMG they were the tastiest and the one thing Im still craving !!

So for the GOOD stuff

I loved the fact that we got to travel to & visit so many beautiful places. It’s like a try before you buy … or rather book … your next holiday . Waking up, or in my case catching the sunrise and then watching as we sailed into a new port never failed to excite me.

Our cruise departed from Barcelona then went to Marseille > Cannes > Palma > Ibiza > back to Barcelona .

There was a sea day mid-week and a ‘sort-of’ sea day towards the end of the week as we docked into Ibiza at 7pm on the Friday . We spent the night there , leaving at 6pm the following evening. I loved that we got a full night in Ibiza.

We jumped straight off the ship at 7 and went out to explore. I have well and truly fallen in love with the Old Town. It is stunning .

Like Arnie said “I’ll be back”

Your hair will take on a life of its own. If Cruise hair isn’t a thing… it should be !

The Sunsets and Sunrises made my heart sing & also feel quite emotional.

There is something very magical about being surrounded by water and watching the sun beams dance on the waves .

My favourite thing to do was climb into the hammock and watch as the sun came up. Along with my 3 little shrimps on sticks – I’ll miss this the most …

No set, formal dining hours here !

There are so many amazing restaurants to choose from you will be spoilt for choice . The Galley on deck 15 is open more or less open 24 hours a day. There is also the option of room service if you feel like you can’t be arsed to move.

Here are some pointers that you will hopefully find useful especially if you have booked, are considering , or are going-on a Virgin Voyagers Cruise some time soon .

I wish I had known a few myself …

You are given a wristband on embarkment.

This is your lifeline on the ship. It’s how you access your cabin. It has your passport details logged . It acts as your ID to get you on and off the ship and also your bank card / chosen payment method so you can purchase alcohol , treatments etc. on board. You will be asked to scan it for all.

You can keep a check on what you’ve spent by checking your wallet on the Virgin Voyagers App daily.

Hand luggage ladies & gents like me take note. There is shampoo , conditioner , body wash , a face cloth and hairdryer in your cabin. Save yourself valuable suitcase room and leave these all at home !

Rooms are cleaned daily. If you don’t want it cleaned, or you fancy a nice , long lie-in there’s a red button near the door you can press. The cleaners will not disturb you while it’s on.

There is a safe , but no iron. You can request a steamer from Sailor Services.

Pick up one of the ‘Glance at the Day ‘ leaflets it details absolutely everything that is going on during the day … great if you like a plan

Keep an eye out in the lifts. Everyday you are advised on the screen (at the rear) what time you can leave the ship and the latest time you need to be back onboard.

Throughout the cruise you disembark from Deck 4 . For safety reasons ( I presume) you get off at deck 5 and walk down to 4. You will get your bag scanned every-time you re-enter the ship -just like at airport security.

Smoking is not allowed in your cabins, not even on your terrace .

There is a small designated smoking room on deck 6 ( next to the casino ) and an open-air smoking area on deck 16.

Sailor services in on deck 5. They can assist with all your queries, booking restaurants , activities etc. and I understand can provide sea sickness tablets if required!

On our cruise ‘French Daze & Ibiza Nights’ you could walk off at most of the ports and there was a free transport bus provided to get you into the centre. Exceptions were Palma where you had to make your own way. We fell lucky and jumped straight into a taxi that cost us 14€ to drop us outside the cathedral.

In Cannes you had to get a tender ( little boat ) to shore . We booked ours in advance while on the ship. They advise you do this if you want to leave early. Tenders ran constantly back and forth throughout the day. It was very organised, if a little rocky . It was like a little adventure in itself.

Europe in August is HOT. At times , dare I say it – too hot. You DO NOT need to pack a light cardigan !

Dress code was anything goes – smart or casual I saw people do both . I personally love to get dressed up on an evening, so I did. But if shorts and a casual tee are your vibe then that’s cool too.

There is so much to keep you occupied – shows, singers, casino, gym, spa, karaoke booths, running track , basketball court . Have a tattoo, treat yourself to a facial or do a spot of shopping. Watch a movie in your cabin. There’s painting classes, yoga , dance classes .

There is definitely something for everyone …

There are even a selection of free books & board games to take away & read / play . You can find these midship on deck 7 .

Or you could just chill on a sun lounger , eating little shrimps on sticks watching the world go by. Er… hello 🙂

If you didn’t manage to book the restaurants you wanted to sample on the Virgin Voyagers App before you left (they only release 20% availability before the cruise) it’s advisable to go and book them on your first day just to ensure you get your preferred time slot. There’s nothing to worry about then for the rest of the trip.

You don’t have to book all the restaurants, just the speciality ones like the Test Kitchen, Razzle Dazzle, The Wake , etc.

So to conclude … would I cruise again?

A B S O L U T E L Y !

I was pleasantly surprised and it has totally changed my view of cruising . I would just have liked a bigger pool so I could actually swim. Having never cruised before though perhaps pools on cruises are never that big ?

I would not want to book a cruise for all my holidays going forward but at some point in the future I would love to cruise again.

I would like to think that because I have more of an idea what to expect I would be more chilled, more prepared. That cruise hair wouldn’t be so much of a shock!

Oh and I know you are dying to ask – No I didn’t see any upside down pineapples !!

Thank-you so much for having me Virgin Voyagers ! It was an amazing week.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask me.

Until next time,

Tracey Over & Out x

He had not been well for a while, but there’s not being well and then there’s dying. We never expected the later.

I decided Michael and I needed to disappear & leave home for a few days … just chill with Mollie our dog. Disclaimer - nothing is ever very chilled with Mollie. She’s old, she gets me up at 5.00am most mornings for a pee and is constantly hungry ! But in my head a change of scenery would do us good… and it has

I was scrolling ‘the web’  looking for places to stay when The Everything Resort popped up. It worked out it was an hour and a half away from Sheffield which is doable with Mollie . As well as everything else I have mentioned she doesn’t like car journeys anymore !

She’s our grumpy old dog who we adore …

It looked like just what we needed plus 6 of the 12 lodges catered for dogs. Amazing !

These are the Signature Lodges and we stayed in number 1 which was situated nearest to the field and next to the pond … and so began my love affair with the sheep’s and their lambs. If you are on instagram you will have no doubt seen my stories . I was smitten with them. You may refer to me as Tracey the Sheep Whisperer in future:)

Everything Retreat is located in Mellor a beautiful part of the country , there’s lots of stunning countryside with amazing views. The resort itself looks out across the Ribble Valley and is just so peaceful.

As I stated the retreat consists of 12 lodges, 6 identical ones named ‘Signature Lodges’ ( that allow dogs )and then 6 themed lodges where dogs aren’t allowed.

All lodges have a hot tub, these are fairly private but you are visible to other guests if they happen to be walking past.

Also on-site is the Balance Bar which serves food and drink but doesn’t open Monday or Tuesday. Unfortunately for us due to staff shortages it was only open until 5.30pm rather than 10.00 pm on the Wednesday. We Still managed to squeeze a few cocktails in though and nothing spoilt we just had a drink on the terrace of our lodge and I jumped in the hot tub …

For 2 nights with an extra surcharge of £35 for Mollie we paid a total of £330

Included in that cost was the accommodation and either Afternoon Tea with fizz or Charcuterie board on arrival (or when it suited during your stay ) and a Breakfast Box every morning that was delivered to you for 8.45am.

It’s all very private and they leave it in your outside cupboard . The breakfast box surprised me with just how good it was.

We had the Afternoon Tea on arrival and ordered the Charcuterie board ( at an extra cost of £35 ) for Wednesday evening.

They really are amazing value and we devoured lots of delicious food.

The only thing that was missing and I would suggest they provide in future are dog bowls. We always carry one with us . We are Surprisingly organised for a couple of divvies ! I’m 100% sure if we hadn’t have the staff woul have sorted it out for us . They were beyond helpful.

The Signature lodges themselves are beautiful & compact with a bathroom ( shower - no bath) small well equipped kitchen , double bed/ sleeping area and a small seated area with a coffee table . They are big enough so that you don’t feel like you sat on top of each other. I seriously think I could live there 24/7 .

There’s a large screen TV and we were able to access Netflix and Amazon and Micheal managed to see some of his beloved snooker championships !! You can take the man away from Sheffield …

Some places of Interest around the Retreat that we visited …

The Glass House at Stydd Gardens - Stoneygate Lane, Ribchester PR33YN

Is a 10 minute drive and will get you to a lovely little picturesque spot where we had our lunch. This was recommended to us by the lady on reception and also a lady on instagram , so thankyou !

The prices are quite spendy and the food we had didn’t really warrant the price-tag but it was decent enough. £22 for fish & chips and £21 for scampi .

The sandwiches and burgers looked like the better option and were slightly cheaper ! I had food envy at the ladies eating at the table next to us.

We had a little wander around the beautiful landscaped gardens . I never thought I would say it but the older I get the more I appreciate a good plant … and we had a quick ganzy at some of the small independent stores.

The Spread Eagle Pub - Mellor Lane, Mellor BB2 7EG

You could actually see this pub from our Lodge It is a 15 minute walk up the hill, or a 2 minute drive. We took the easy u

Option and drove, or rather Michael did. We had planned to walk up but It was extremely hot and we didn’t want to arrive like 2 sweaty messes!ok

There are two outdoor terraces with beautiful views across the valley and it serves a decent beer. They also serve food but as we didn’t eat there so I can’t tell you if it’s any good, or not.

In all honesty if you just wanted a few days away , to chill and escape life there really wasn’t any reason to leave the Retreat . It’s only because I can’t sit still and always want to see new places !

I would definitely recommend The Everything Retreat for a spot of me time / chilling / reconnecting with nature …

I am missing those sheep already !

You can find the Everything Retreat here

Until next time, Tracey

Oh oh.

For some reason when I drink ( alcohol) I want to write ; put pen to paper and pour my heart out. Share the contents of my tiny , but over-flowing head with you.

Tell you it will all be ok and squeeze the life out of you. Sometimes I think I need it more than you . . .

It’s been 6 weeks since my dad died. I’m honestly not sure it’s hit me yet , or perhaps I’ve accepted he’s back with mum and it’s where he would want to be.

I’m not sure I believe in heaven , but I would like to believe that their spirits have been reunited … somewhere .

That they float around together showing themselves as orbs , or as sunbeams dancing on whatever they hit. In white feathers, robins and the ‘stuff’ that makes Mollie dog stare blankly into the air, occasionally freaking me out.

I miss him in the quiet times .

I miss his stupid little smile. Those twinkly ‘Jesus’ eyes that could get him away with murder. I miss him telling me I made him proud.

Dad was my Mums silent partner . Always around but not always part of the conversation.

I’m Sure I have told you before how after mum died I went to visit him for the first time. We hadn’t got a clue what to talk about. We sat in an awkward silence watching the cricket, the silence only broken by the sound of supping coffee.

My relationship with my dad was not like the one I had with my mum; as close but different.

He would say mum & I talked like a ‘can of mabbs’ at 100 miles an hour. It was always very full on, lots of silliness. As a bystander it was hard to keep up.

My Dad was quieter; a calming influence. The voice of reason. He didn’t talk a great deal - not as he got older anyway, but he was a great listener . He’s the only person I could sit in silence with and it mean something.

Does that even make sense ?

So I keep looking for the signs and take comfort in them.

I have bought several Plants and called each one of them ‘Peter’ ( my dads name)

I have stopped caring if people think I’m fanciful . I am by my own admission a-bit of a fruit bat !

As I have said on numerous occasions throughout the last 6 weeks … whatever gets you through the night , do it and then do it again.

I’m not sure it’s actually sunk in that my dad’s died because I’m trying where possible not to think about, or process it. Keep busy, block it all out.

The only time I do begin to digest everything is when I’m writing about it .

So here goes my next therapy session.

I have found myself comfort eating ; I’m 90% fruit scones with LOTS of butter and I’m supping that much coffee it’s hardly surprising I can’t sleep.

I’ve found myself reverting back to my childhood and taking comfort in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.

So far I’ve rewatched the first 3 seasons. The Angel years. Angel is a great distraction from most things. Though Buffys replacement love interest Spike grew on me by the end too …

Yes I’ve always had a thing for sexy vampires.

It’s not all been doom and gloom and in-between the tears there has been some moments of joy, some things I maybe shouldn’t have belly laughed at but found myself doing so.

Grief is a funny old buggar and having been here only 7 years ago with mum I know you just have to roll with it because tomorrow I could be in tears all day . The littlest of things setting me off.

Grief has no rhyme or reason.

* * * * * * *

So on Wednesday I received a call at work from Micheal who was due to go and see my dad in the Chapel of Rest the following day.

“I can’t go & see your dad until next week “

“Why ?”

“You’ll never believe it … but your dad won’t fit in his coffin. He’s got to have a bigger one. A 6’8 one , oh and it’s £300 extra”

Queue me rolling around laughing at work.

This is not me being insensitive. Far from it. As a family we always found humour at the darkest of times. I can remember when mum was told she’d have to have a urostomy bag, she turned around and said “well it will be a godsend on a night out. No queuing for the bloody toilets I’ll just sit where I am and have a wee.”

That’s the way we rolled.

Talking about my mum if she had been around she would have been falling around laughing too. I definitely get my sense of humour from her, and my dad, well he wouldn’t expect anything else from me!

According to Michael the poor funeral director was devastated and sounded very close to tears. I don’t fully understand why as it wasn’t her fault, it was mine.

Due to my dad dying unexpectedly his body was taken to the coroners for a post-mortem . When we organised the funeral his body had not been released so the funeral directors had not seen him . They basically trusted and went on the information we gave them.

“How tall is your dad ?”

“6’3 ish but he’s shrunk a-bit during the past few years so I recon he’s 6’1 now .”

“Are you sure as a standard coffin is 6’2?”

“Yes it’ll be fine , and if not, just squeeze him in.”

Yes those words really did come out of my mouth and yes Michael did give me his ‘really - did you just say that ??” look.

* * * * * * *

My friend on Instagram Helen ( Perla Coco Designs) makes beautiful pieces of jewellery and has recently started designing tie-necklaces. As the name suggests these are necklaces made from ties, which she then creatively embellishes.

Totally unique and totally fabulous. One of her designs even made the BAFTA red carpet this year.

While clearing dad’s wardrobe out a couple of weeks ago I stumbled on his tie collection which I decided I would send to Helen so she could work her magic on them. I couldn’t think of a better home.

She is a beautiful soul our Helen and she kindly offered to make one for me to remember my dad by.

A keepsake to wear, or to frame.

I thought that was an absolutely beautiful idea, one I could not refuse. I choose a sky blue tie , one that matched his eyes perfectly. I also sent one of my Grandma’s ( his mom’s ) broaches to embellish it with.

I received my Tie-necklace in the post midweek. Its fabulous. I did get a lump in my throat as I opened it . It is the perfect way to keep a part of dad ‘alive’ , feel like he’s around me.

I wear mums wedding ring .

I can now wear a piece of dad.

I have.

Numerous times - Seville, Valencia , Marrakech to name a few. Perhaps I just need to live abroad ?

Just so you don’t think I’ve pulled something out of fresh air … Since my dad died a couple of weeks ago I have found myself looking through the old photo albums and reminiscing … which led me nicely back to the South of France

I guess the first time I felt this way was while I was on holiday in St Tropez.I was with my Mum, Dad and my little brother Mark.

Perhaps I was seeing it through the wonder & excitement of a 14 year olds eyes but it felt absolutely magical. I fell in love there and then.

Yep this was my spiritual home.

I belonged here.

The fact I remember it in such detail to this date is testimony to its beauty and the effect it had on me.

When I think of St Tropez I smile and recall the fabulous family holidays. Beautiful memories that include …

The vibrancy & the pretty, pastel buildings. The still, warm air and the coffee.

An abundance of artists painting around the marina ; their easels lining the cobbled streets. I told my dad on numerous occasions then and throughout my life that when I retire that’s what I’m going to do - “paint like the little old men in St Tropez”

The guys playing boules in the market square; their faces the colour of, and resembling sultana’s. Frazzled & engraved with deep set wrinkles from years exposed to the Mediterranean sun.

The immaculate elderly ladies sportingTHE latest fashion , the smell of expensive perfume wafting in the air as they glided by to meet up with their equally coiffed friends.

They didn’t appear to sweat ? How did they look so immaculate in this heat ? Thoughts that ran through my mind as I sat sweltering, drowning in greasy SPF mum kept slathering on me.

One sight I will never forget as we sat eating our family meal one evening. The stunning lady, flowing long blonde hair wearing a skin tight tiger-print catsuit strutting her equally beautiful baby tiger on a lead. We all stopped eating and sat transfixed as she sashayed by.

14 year old Tracey remembers thinking that anything goes in St Tropez, and she LOVED everything about it.

( note 54 year old Tracey does not think you should have wild animals as pets )

We returned to the South of France , day tripping to St Tropez year after year as a family until I was old enough to go with my girlfriends .

I have visited a couple of times as an adult , the last time being the early 2000’s and experienced a totally different St Tropez. Still magical, but different.

Lazy days sunbathing & drinking on one of the infamous beaches . I remember sitting at Club 55 on Pampelonne Beach celebrity spotting. The very same beaches Brigitte Bardot frolicked on in the 1950’s.

Those White open sands …

Drunken nights out in fabulously swish bars and nightclubs drinking champagne we could NOT afford, flirting with beautiful foreign men that smelt delicious. Discovering Secret bars hidden behind rusty old doors . Rolling in as the sun rose… happy on life ( and that expensive fizz ) Getting in the jacuzzi bath and thinking this is the life !

I recall one (bizarre) weekend when 100’s of Harley Davidson bikers rolled up for their annual meet-up. Not to upset or generalise anyone but all the beautifully coiffed, immaculate French guys seemingly disappeared to be replaced with loud , hairy leather-clad bikers.

Not the St Tropez I was used too but fun all the same. Those bikers like to drink and boy did we had fun with a group of guys from Germany.

There’s a photo of us all somewhere courting their leathers , complete with helmets and a pint of beer !

Everywhere we looked, everywhere we went guys (and a few gals) on bikes. The peace disrupted with the ‘vroom vroom‘ of their motor bikes as they raced up and down-the pretty narrow streets.

It was the very same weekend that we treated ourselves and booked to stay at the famous and extremely fabulous Byblos Hotel with its onsite nightclub Les Caves Du Roy. The Byblos Hotel was built in 1967 and was home for and synonymous with celebrity and hedonism .

Guests have included Grace Kelly, Lauren Becall, Beyoncé , Leonardo DiCaprio and Naomi Campbell . Mick and Bianca Jagger celebrated their marriage there.

And then they got us - 4 young ladies from Sheffield ! One of whom got very giddy because there was a jacuzzi bath in their room ! I’m easily pleased ..

I saved forever to pay for that weekend … it cost an absolute arm and a leg. The Byblos was spectacular – as were the prices. We paid £38 each for a burger & chips at the pool restaurant . It is forever engraved in my mind especially as back home a Wimpy cost a couple of quid. £38 back in 2006 that’s practically £100 in today’s climate. As my brother would say I was living my best ‘ten bob millionaire ‘ life.

I really was.

It was an AMAZING weekend.

Typically a few days after we had checked out of the Byblos ( and I’d sadly said goodbye to jacuzzi bath ) the newspapers were full of photos of Victoria and David Beckham sunning themselves around the intimate Byblos Hotel pool ! Laid on the very same sun-beds we had been laid on a couple of days earlier !

Told you our timing was rubbish …

Today I may have been sat reminiscing in rainy old Sheffield … back in my fooking ‘big coat’ due to the weather taking a turn for the worse, worried my new pot plants will get frost bite and die.

But in my head and in my heart I was right back in St Tropez, my spiritual home… with mum, dad and the hairy bikers from Germany ❤️

I think I need to revisit …

Dad who died unexpectedly on Monday

It was meant to be just the one to toast his life, which as I stated maybe just our family ‘thing’ but it works for us.

One turned into 2 , then 3 … I eventually left about 7 hours later, a little tipsy and very emotional.

I felt every feeling possible - sad, happy, grateful, reflective .

One minute I was reminiscing and laughing .

The next reminiscing and crying.

People are so kind. So very , very kind.

Some however can look and act very awkward around you. Which in turn makes you feel awkward . They don’t really know what to say or do. I guess death is an uneasy subject to brooch. Not something we like to face head on, but to quote my friend “ the only thing certain in life… is death” sobering but true.

It is never a nice conversation to have but talking about the person who’s died usually brings comfort to those left behind, so please don’t ( feel awkward ) . It definitely brings me comfort.

Gone but not forgotten.

I talk, think and quote my mum in some way, shape or form more or less every day and she died in 2017. Talking about her keeps her & their memory alive. Now I’ll be talking about them both - mum and dad.

Also, as a hugger I find a good firm hug speaks volumes, no words are needed.

Never underestimate the power that Wrapping your arms around someone and squeezing them so tight it feels like they might pop has on that person.

My elderly next door neighbour Chris squeezed me so hard earlier I did think I might just do that! It was a heartfelt, reassuring, with purpose “you’ve got this” kind of hug.

Few words, massive hug.

You HAVE got this Tracey ❤️

It’s all the same ; London fashion week, or whatever fashion week it is this week. I lose track?

You need this , you need that.

To be completely honest you don’t really need any of it and I’ve been to London Fashion Week. It takes you longer to get from show to show , than the actual shows themselves! It’s fun don’t get me wrong … but it ain’t all that.

It all just seems so trivial, so very, very trivial.

The most precious things I have discovered at my dad’s place while sorting through his stuff did not cost the earth.

They are the beautiful basics.

The photographs . Albums and albums full of them , and the letters that I wrote home to mum & dad while I was away studying at Lincoln.

Boxes full of memories , that trigger memories. Mostly happy memories but with a few that pull a little too tightly on the heart strings … heart strings that are already over -stretched .

In-between the sadness which followed us around each room M & I have reminisced over those old photos. There have been a few “whose that’s“ and we have belly laughed at my handwritten letters. Ones which I have also complimented and admired. If I say so myself my writing is fooking neat !

It is also very apparent I really was quite bonkers and some of the stories I relate back to my parents are completely that! I can’t believe I told them some of the stuff I did but I guess we always were a very open and honest family.

I won’t always feel like this.

I hope not anyway.

It’s just now , it’s all very raw.

All very trivial. … You know ??

I am navigating a new chapter of my grief.

Chapter 1 was mum.

Chapter 2 is my dad

I ask M whether I am now considered an adult orphan ?

I wake up, I paint my face and I paint on my smile. I tell myself it’ll all be ok.

We put flowers in make shift vases. Our Lounge is currently over-run with beautiful bouquets , from even more beautiful humans.

We talk to coroners and funeral directors and we make plans we didn’t envisage we’d be making just yet …

We pack away a life well lived into black bin bags.

The world goes on as normal and we sit and we grieve in our own little bubble

The world goes on like any other day … despite ours falling apart

I’m still in shock.

My  jaw aches because I must subconsciously be clenching it, my head is thumping and my throat is dry. I’m hungry but can’t stomach any food. Coffee is my best friend.

Monday is my day off , so as usual I took Mollie dog for a walk. I rang dad on my return . I rang a couple of times & cursed him because he wasn’t answering . He’d often leave his phone somewhere and forget were it was “ silly old fool” I’d muttered or something along those lines before telling Michael.

Both of us jumped in the car to go down to his flat and check everything was ok.

I was with my mum when she died. She was in palliative care and we knew she only had a couple of weeks to live . It’s not any easier losing someone like that , in fact it’s heart wrenching  but you do get the chance to say goodbye; tell them everything you want them to know (and vice-versa). Prepare yourself of sorts - but in all honestly nothing ever really prepares you .

She looked peaceful, she wasn’t in pain . It was as though she had just fallen asleep.

Dad was different - Walking into his flat this morning and finding him dead was something nobody should ever have to experience. Cold, stiff and alone. His beautiful piercing blue eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, his mouth open.

I hope his death wasn’t painful.

There were no final goodbyes , no “I love you’s” Just guilt that 10 minutes previously I had cursed him for not answering his phone. Guilt as to why I had not called down Sunday night to see him. Maybe if I had … I don’t know , If ifs and ands were pots and pans.

The last time I saw my dad was Saturday dinner time.

Michael & I had called in mid morning, he wasn’t feeling great so we made him some dinner. Supped a couple of coffees together . Michael had spoilt him and come ladden with a bag full of treats - cakes and chocolate.

He looked happy perched on the settee, TV on reading his newspaper as we left. He was due to move into his new flat next Saturday to be nearer to us.

He had lots of things to look forward too.

I kissed him on his forehead and said goodbye. I told him to make sure he ate all the chocolate and because he had no strength asked Micheal to open a Kit Kat bar for him.

I hope he enjoyed it, they were his favourite.

I didn’t realise it would be the last time I would speak to him, or see him alive. If I had known I would have held him a little tighter; told him what a great dad he’d been.

He died last night and I did non of that .

I hope he knew how much he was loved. How much I’ll miss him and his silly little smile x

It’s 2025 and I’m still here .

Do I love it, no.

Do I hate it , no.

Would I miss it ? Old habits die hard, I guess.

When I first started on Instagram I was mainly posting photos of my cat, a few odd selfies & drunk nights out because this lady likes to party. I also shared lots of architecture & food because I love them both too.

You didn’t have to post everyday, or at a certain time. There were basically no rules - just to share what you love , what interested you. Something as simple as a great photo.

Nobody cared if you liked their stuff . It wasn’t stressful . We didn’t go onto stories begging for likes, mainly because stories didn’t exist and neither did the algorithm, or maybe it did … BUT I got shown the people I followed not a load of random shit I had no interest in. I would search for things of interest by using # (whatever )

Some of us were members of certain groups and did challenges. We would # them with the particular # so they’d all sit together in one place .

I was in a Sheffield photography group and we would meet up every Sunday morning. We were set challenges and then posted our interpretation on to Instagram . It was very social and great fun.

When social media was actually social and interaction was encouraged !

Liz and I wrote a blog together until 2015. It was called ‘Indulge In’ and we started linking our Instagram to that . That is when we started getting a little interest from brands.

I can remember the first time we got approached. It was by La Redoute around 2013/14. Would we post about their jeans? They would send us a free pair of skinnys each. Could we take a few photos and feature them on our blog.

We were so excited. Of course we would !

The parcel arrived a week or so later - 2 pair of jeans in totally the wrong sizes, a cheap looking tote bag with La Redoute embezzled on it … and wait for it … a plastic mini replica of the fooking Eiffel Tower!! Not even 1 each, NOT that we were fighting over it !

We were so wet behind the ears, we darent tell them they had sent the wrong sizes. Somewhere out there in cyber space there are photos circulating of us both in our jeans , smiling like 2 Cheshire cats, wearing jeans that almost cut off our circulation !

We never worked with them again…

We both worked full time at the same company. Liz was reception / admin and I was Office Manager. Outside of work we wrote on the blog, posted to Instagram and we began to get some amazing opportunities.

We loved it. We got invited to spas, restaurant openings, events … Non of them were ever paid but we didn’t care we both loved trying new places, taking photos and writing about it. Money never really came into it.

One of my favourite , which is amongst the first opportunities we received was when Moddershall Oaks Spa invited us over for the day [not once, but twice !] It is absolutely beautiful and we were totally spoilt.

I’ve been cooked for & ‘group’ interviewed Marco Pierre White . Scruffy but sexy . Everybody else asked him about food. Not me. I asked him what aftershave he wore. He said he liked my question; he was fed up of talking about how to cook the perfect steak !

I’ve been on Radio Sheffield on the Kat Cooks show and my biggest and first major paid work was as a M.A.C ambassador over a 12 month contract period . I got to experience things I never thought I would . Back stage with House of Holland at LFW for one.

Just as ‘work’ started to take off for me bloody COVID hit and the world stopped for a year ; which is the story of my life.

I painted a rainbow on the garden wall , spent 6 months drinking gin in the garden ( thankfully we had glorious weather) and on solo dog walks with Mollie in the woods.

During that period I think everyone decided to start an Instagram account and opportunities became a lot less for myself when things got back to normal.

Some may say I missed my port but to be honest I don’t and never have really pushed myself enough in any aspect of my life. I lack self confidence. I’m also too honest at times! I’m not saying people lie about stuff / products … but if I personally don’t like something I can’t say I do. I also have zero belief in myself , which is something I actively work on daily.

That a side, things didn’t happen overnight and they didn’t come easily. Unless you are extremely lucky you need to do some graft.

I see people whinging these days about how they have been on Instagram a year and are not getting anywhere - no paid work , no new followers, nobody sees them etc etc.

Please remember - just because you are on here it doesn’t make you entitled to anything. You choose to be there with or without the brands backing.

Talking about brands - they may sit up and take notice of you; they may ask to work with you and they may drop you just as quickly.

I’ve had paid work with Peacocks, JD Williams , Fantasie lingerie and Avon in the past. They used me for a few campaigns and then nothing.

*Insert vision of tumbleweed rolling past *

I think Avon stopped working with me when I got trolled on Facebook by some shitty old bloke and his entourage on my AD they had shared to their page … I answered him back. Knowing me it’ll have been very sweary and straight to the point. Apparently we have to grin and bear it when people are awful - not something I’m very good at !

With the other brands perhaps my ADs didn’t perform as well as they had hoped, maybe they found another account they preferred. I try not to dwell , or over think it, but I still laugh about the Avon shenanigans :)

So this is where I am at…

I love the social aspect of Instagram and I’ve made some bloody amazing friends. My life has definitely been enriched by this app and by them.

I’m Not a niche. Never have been. Never will be. Apparently you need to be one to get on on here. I’m not disagreeing, I’m also not reforming .

Jack of all trades, master of none.

I’m embracing change and reels. I’ll always be a photo lady at heart, but we move …

Last year I went on an amazing PR trip / cruise with Virgin Voyages which was a total pinch me moment. Of course I would love to do more of that kind of thing - travel and reviewing new places is how Liz and I started the blog. It feels like home.

Writing , photography and experiences are my passion.

I’m currently manifesting for more of that and Bradley Cooper ! Would it even be my post if I didn’t mention his name once ?!

Looking through my old posts today has certainly been fun. 13 years of my life documented & wrapped up in this little account …happy times, grief when mum died , vaginas , holidays, events, makeup, hairstyles … the whole shebang !

Instagram is like that friend. You know the one … at times she’s annoying, sometimes fun, can be hard work , drives you up the fooking wall … BUT you can’t imagine them not being around…

that’s my insta x

Aren’t they THE best !

Thank god the boyfriend and I argued back in March and in way of an apology he booked this.

I can’t remember what he did … but I’m guessing it was a biggy.

The 70 acre site has 55 ‘rooms’ … and by rooms we are talking Treehouses, Boathouses , Wildwood Huts and Glade Huts which is the style of accommodation that we stopped in. Surrounded by beautiful trees, water and wildlife what more could you want ?

Check in is 3.00pm and check out is by 11.00am. We received an email a couple of days prior to our visit advising us that we were most welcome to arrive earlier in the day and make the most of the facilities ; we would just not be-able to access our room until the stipulated time.

We thought this was a great plan and aimed to arrive for noon ; have a wander , explore and grab something to eat.

Luckily for us our accommodation was ready when we arrived and we were able to gain access just after 12 noon which was fabulous. We still explored and ate but we had the room to fall back on.

We stayed in ‘Falcons Watch’ there are no Numbers , all accommodation has a name.

Glade Huts compromise of •

Indoor free standing bath tub.

En-suite shower

Private outdoor decking & spa bath. I Can’t believe as I was going to get in it it started thunder & lightening . With it being tin I decided that maybe I shouldn’t get in!

Complimentary mini bar – Beer, Prosecco & Water

Coffee machine & a few snacks

Log burner

Bathrobe & Slippers

Dog friendly – there is an additional £50 charge for your dog. For this you will get a bowl, towel , treats and a toy. Dog beds are not supplied so you would need to take your own.

There’s a heated outdoor pool that’s open all year around ( currently 10-5pm) for Hotel guests to use .

We didn’t quite manage to get in there as after we had walked Mollie the full length and breath of the estate – the bar and food started calling us.

Beer in the sunshine with amazing views. Well what can I say ; we lost track of time.

The food at the hotel is top notch.

Small and tasty portions. We booked on a bed and breakfast basis. Our evening meal was at an additional cost, along with any drinks we had apart from tea and coffee with our breakfast, or in our accommodation.

Our evening meal was delicious.

I had scallops for starter and crispy cabbage for my main. The complimentary Goat’s Cheese and Beetroot tarts were sublime. You know when you don’t want something to end … I didn’t want this to end. As I said to my boyfriend at the time – it was a taste sensation!

Breakfast was also exceptional . A selection of continental breakfast ; pastries, cereals, yoghurt and fresh fruits like the big, juicy raspberries I had. All locally sourced apparently. Followed by your choice of hot meal.

All the fresh air had worked up my appetite and I was a little pig. Not one breakfast, but two !

I had a big bowl of granola with fresh fruit, seeds & Greek yoghurt followed by poached egg and avocado on toast. I washed it all down with a strong coffee and freshly squeezed orange juice.

It has been a really lovely, relaxing stay.

I could maybe have done with not been woken up so early . At 5.00am this morning Mollie decided she needed a blinking wee.

I opened the front doors and sat on the step while she did her ‘thing’ . It was very still and calming. The birds were chirping ten to the dozen, the morning dew made everything look refreshed and ‘alive’ . The smell was earthy, mixed with the scent of freshly cut grass… it was quite frankly just delicious. If I had had on more than my flimsy PJs I swear I would have run and hugged one of the trees.

The Tawny Hotel, Consall – definitely gets my recommendation !!

Not an AD. Not affiliated.

My dad (unfortunately) doesn’t own the company . I just like to share nice things AND this was VERY NICE !

We paid for the whole visit ourselves and would definitely do it all again 🪴

*One nights stay in the Falcons Watch cost us £345 plus an additional £50 for Mollie. Our evening meal with drinks was just short of £100*

I savoured the slow pace , a month to reset . The rest of the year flies by ; it felt good to enjoy January’s slowness.

I hear and see so many people wishing their lives away. They wish it was summer, then they wish it was their birthday .Then it’s something else, then it’s Christmas and before they know it it’s January again and they are wishing it was summer again…

A life time spent wishing it away.

It sounds fanciful but I like to look forward to something in each day, even if it’s something as small as a ‘posh’ coffee at work, or like I did yesterday bought myself a fancy walnut whip and some juicy dates to devour during my afternoon film.

Little things that make for big moments.

After my mum died my perspective on a lot of things definitely changed . I realised just how precious my hours, my days and weeks were. I did not want to wish them away. 14 days spent by your mums side , slowly watching her die has that effect on you. I wanted the exact opposite. I wanted to turn back time , make it stop so I had more time with her.

More time was something my mum didn’t have the luxury of.

You do , please stop wishing yours away.

Of course its good to plan and it’s good to have things to look forward too . We booked our annual ladies holiday last weekend . We are off to Italy in October , but that’s 10 months away.

It’s very exciting , it looks absolutely stunning but it will come when it comes. I am in no rush for it to come around just yet.

Between now and then there’s a lot of living to be had and I intend to live it …

Yay , total holiday detox !

I have, as expected taken LOADS of photographs ( love the photos! ) – not so much fashion or beauty, more life. I have gone slightly feral . I was having way, way too much fun AND my holidays are precious. I don’t get that many . I intend to saviour those that I do.

It was good to not feel a constant need or pressure to post, or doom scroll. Most importantly my friends were there to have a good time too – not to fanny about filming me for Insta. I guess when you can style a white shirt and tie your own shoe laces it’s not a necessity !

I may have been away – but I am still the sarcastic chuff I always was – maybe more so know after a much needed break.

We stayed at the all inclusive Adults Only BeLive Collective Hotel ; a beautiful hotel that is situated about 20 minutes from the Medina. There was a free daily shuttle service into the centre of Marrakesh but we decided to opt for the £15/ £20 taxi option. As there were 6 of us it worked out around £3 each per journey and we could go at our own pace.

Ideally it would have been nice to have been staying slightly nearer to everything but due to the extreme heat it turned out to be a great base.

We tootled off into the vibrant, hot centre of Marrakesh in the morning , had a wander around before it got too extreme. It was very hot. We returned to the hotel in the afternoon to cool down; chill around the pool and people watch with a nice cold beer , or cocktail.

Blissful.

The Best of both worlds.

Koutoubia Mosque (above) is the tallest mosque in Marrakesh. As we are not Muslim we were not allowed entry but its exterior looks majestic.

It is worth noting that Marrakesh is a closed currency which means you can only change and use your currency once you arrive in the country. Saying that you needn’t worry too much – most places accept payment with € & £’s which surprised me but also made life a lot easier. Cards are accepted in most places too.

We hired a guide to take us around the Souk & Medina. We ended up with a lovely informative guy called Rachid – elyakoubirachid@yahoo.fr . You can contact him direct on that email to book. This however was organised via our hotel. I would highly recommend you do the same. It would be very easy to get lost & you could have potentially ended up walking around in circles .

We made a list of what we wanted to see / buy and Rachid ensured we saw / bought it all. He even gave us a quick bartering lesson !!

Did I feel threatened? Not once.

Did I feel safe? Absolutely .

Did having a guide help. Of course.

As for the people they were nothing but warm and welcoming.

There was still some evidence of damage from the earthquake in the Medina. It is scaffolded but health and safety isn’t quite like it is over here in the UK. Don’t be surprised to walk past guys that are chucking bricks down onto the street below . Bricks that just miss your head !

4 days away with my friends never went so fast and as for Marrakech … well she had a-bit of everything.

The chaos of the Souk.

I told my friend Lisa while lazing around the pool one day that the Souk felt like the contents of my head and she looked slightly concerned. I told her it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing – I just have lots of tabs ‘open’ and find it hard to shut one down or concentrate on one thing at a time …

The call to prayer.

The red city.

Beautiful sunsets. You know I LOVE a good sunset. The sun set around 7.20pm and turned the sky into a vibrant wash of red & orange.

Riads. You must visit a Riad just to experience their beauty.

Mint tea in silver teapots.

A little tip from our guide Rachid – Ask for it without sugar as it’s very sweet already . If it is necessary you can then add your own to your acquired sweetness . Moroccans LOVE their sugar.

It’s actually quite refreshing and very civilised .

Argan Oil . On our guided tour with Rachid we were taken to a Health store within the Medina that was run by a local family.

We learnt about spices and Argan oil from their beautiful son Mohammad . Good move – he could have sold tea to china. Easy pickings with 6 ladies hanging on his every word 🙂

The monkeys in chains in the main square, or the tiny donkeys carrying such heavy loads it looked like it might break their backs.

That’s the part I didn’t enjoy . I’m guessing their images will haunt me for some time yet . As I have said before animals serve a different purpose over here. They are a ‘means to an end.’

For obvious reasons I did not take any photos .

The Tranquil gardens at Jardin Majorelle that are open daily . The Gardens were designed by the French artist, Jacques Majorelle.

I would advise getting there first thing in the morning when they open at 8am, or later in the afternoon. It gets extremely busy around lunch time.

I know I am one , but there’s nothing more annoying than a tourist! They advise you book online which is what we did the evening before. We were offered the 8.00am or 11.00am slot. We plumped for the 11, but with hindsight wished we’d not been so lazy and booked the 8. It was busy but manageable. It cost us £23 each.

Expect to see lots of Instagrammers in the wild!

As an ‘instagrammer’ myself I cringe slightly at some of the poses and time it takes for these people to get their ‘shot’. Their total lack, or awareness that there are other people around waiting to get a photo too – one that doesn’t include them? On the other hand I also kind of admire their “ I don’t give a shit attitude”

There are serious instagrammers and then there are us … and yes that’s a real Frog!

The Kama-Karzy traffic. I have never witnessed anything quite like it in my life … cars and bikes. Mopeds over loaded with people , buses, donkeys, horses – you name it . I will definitely never complain about driving in Sheffield again!

Moroccan shots.

Charlie the hotel cat. She wasn’t , as far as we know, actually called Charlie. We nicknamed her that because she looked like my friend Rachs dearly departed old cat Charlie.

Golfers, so many golfers – who knew there are 13 courses in & around Marrakesh. I certainly didn’t. Our hotel was a wash with them; something I had not expected. Playing golf in such extreme temperatures deserves a medal in itself. Most days it reached a staggering 38 degrees. Aqua aerobics in the fun pool at the hotel was as energetic as I got.

Cocktails in the pool. Not very strong, mostly ice, but very refreshing!

Talking to people that I’ll probably never see again in my life time … but who have become part of my memories & who will unbeknowingly feature in stories I share in the future.

For me however the hussle & bustle , the extreme dry desert heat, the spirit of the Souk & the welcoming smiles of the people we met is the main thing I will take away with me. Their resilience, their “get on with life” attitude when only 3 weeks earlier they had suffered a devastating earthquake. Well I think we could learn a thing or two from them!

As a Muslim country with strict alcohol laws , you cannot just grab a beer each & anywhere. We were staying in an all-exclusive hotel so around the hotel we had no problem obtaining an alcoholic beverage. Outside of the hotel it wouldn’t have been so easy. Luckily we had researched before hand, located and booked some amazing spots for our evening meal and drinks.

Most nights we did end up back at the hotel – dancing like our dads to cheesy pop songs and downing shots that I insisted we had to have before bed!

The roof top terrace at Kabana , had a really chilled atmosphere, served a great Gin & Tonic and a vast selection of cocktails. The food was absolutely delicious.

It is the ideal place make yourself comfty and watch the sun set.

The toilets are something else too!

Book ahead to avoid disappointment.

So Lounge Bar & Nightclub ( below) which is part of the Sofitel Hotel .

We stumbled upon this while looking for places to get a drink near Nobu. It is very plush. The evening we visited it was very quiet but I can imagine it gets very lively on a weekend.

The Gin and tonic was the best I had all holiday. Expect to pay around £8 – £15 for a drink.

Nobu in the French quarter. Absolutely Beautiful setting – panoramic 360 degree views .

Unfortunately we experienced terrible service - wrong drinks ( when they eventually showed up some 30 minutes after ordering ) food that didn’t turn up full stop ? I think our waiter was having a bad night.

The views though made up for it.

Stunning .

I have really had a fabulous time. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I wasn’t sure that I’d like it. It’s not after all our usual typical holiday destination.

It is another ‘one’ ticked off my bucket list.

I absolutely loved it. It’s hard to explain but you leave Marrakesh different to how you arrived. It is truly magical.

I am however a firm believer that with the right few people by your side you could be anywhere and have a good time. So sorry to sound like a show off but I have that in abundance.

Where are we off to next ladies ? x

“Tsbah ela khir!”

Tracey x

*We booked a complete holiday package with Easy Jet. At the time of booking it cost us around £520 for 4 nights, including flights and private transfers *