You see for Week 1, I was definitely engrossed with all things law school. Week 2, however, the mom role resurfaced with an agenda, and at the beginning of the week at that.

If you’ve been on this journey with me, you know the first thing I did when I received my class syllabus was build a study plan. Within my study plan are time blocks for each day laying out the times that I will study each class. And despite my best efforts this week, things just started to bleed over their time blocks. I found it harder to keep each role compartmentalize and thus organized.

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The Studying Mountain

One class took longer to study than I planned which, in turn, affected the next and so on. Don’t get me wrong, it was the right thing to do, spending extra time on a topic to ensure that I understood it. But when that allocated law school study time bleeds over into the mom time, well that intersection, I guess, I had not really planned for. Spending all of my time studying left little time for cooking dinner, house needs, etc.

I found myself studying in places I never intended to:

• While Cooking breakfast

• In the many parking lot waiting for the kids

• During my lunch break daily ( I’m really trying to keep my work and school separate for my peace of mind)

One learning I had from class last week was that even though I had done the assignments and read the chapters, I wasn’t as mentally fresh with the topics as I wanted to be.

For instance, Friday nights I study for the class I took that Monday. Well since I won’t be in that class again until the following Monday, and I am also studying other classes before Monday, I was finding that I wasn’t as sharp as I could have been in my recollection of things. So this week, I knew I needed to not just do the assignments, but find time before class to refresh what I studied. I had not planned for that either.

So a few mornings I was up early (with a buddy) either at the desk or while warming my morning broth.

Thus the Intersection

It isn’t just me and my studying that I realized needs to find a rhythm. It’s me as a mom with a household of responsibilities plus studying that needs to find a rhythm

What chores get attended to and which get ignored? What is everyone’s available time versus what all do they need to get done?

Fueling late nights and now early morning study sessions

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With everyone in school, including my oldest, I am managing 5 individual schedules. For the most part, that’s actually not that hard. But it’s when we are home that seems to be the hardest, the busiest, the noisiest.

Both twins are taking harder classes this year which requires more time doing homework and studying. My youngest gets home after 5 and now that she is in middle school she has waaaaay more homework and studying than in her fifth grade year. Then my oldest is taking classes at the local college and working part time, so her availability is also limited.

Normally all that would be fine because I would have space to step up. But I don’t.

I haven’t found “that rhythm” for after class yet. What is the best use of that 1-2 hours before bed?

• Studying

• Eating

• Chores

• Sleep

And last week, it depended on the day knowing that if I don’t get in bed by a certain time it starts a domino effect for the rest of the week and it is never a good one!

Someone left me a comment about paper plates and I considered it for a while. Well now they have been considered and bought friend, so thank you!

You are probably like “Traci, why weren’t you always using paper plates?” I guess I’m a bit of a naturalist with some things and really prefer using my late grandmothers china! Regardless, here we are and paper plates are now apart of our rotation!

So as much as I knew there would be an intersection of the roles I play and hats I wear, living through it this week was a bit of an eye opener. Between the professors cold calling, my son wanting to start a BRAND NEW activity after school and the dinner that barely made it on the table…. It’s been a week.

The Socratic Method for $100 Please

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It’s Friday at 5am and my alarm has just gone off, but I can’t move. My study schedule for Fridays has me studying in the morning before work, and clearly I was crazy enough to put 5am there. But I can’t move. I’m tired.

All I can think about is Traci you signed up for 3 1/2 years of this.

I roll over and ignore the internal tapping that says get up “Traci, get up and start that case reading”.

I give myself a pep talk and remind myself why I’m here, why I chose this and how future Traci is going to be thankful for these years of dedication. “It’s going to pay off” I tell myself.

It takes a minute, actually a few slow minutes, but I make it up and out of the bed. Get my bearings and begin. First the bathroom, then the kitchen then the desk.

Ok, now I’m ready, let’s do this!

This was my first week of law school and it was beautiful. It was full, I am exhausted but still great nonetheless. While I did spend my summer preparing my house, family and freezer for the start of law school, I think what helped me the most this week was going into the week with a plan.

Now we all know a plan is probably never going to be executed perfectly, but having one puts you way ahead of the game. In order for this week to be smooth, I knew I needed to have the kids logistics, dinner, my lunch and my study schedule all figured out a head of time.

Here is the breakdown:

Food

I’ve learned, the hard way, that if I don’t set aside time to prep my food, Traci’s food for the week, I will skip meals and literally not have enough fuel to be mom, let alone a law student.

For this week I used Saturday as my food prep day. Now I only had a few hours in between working on my first day assignments and readings, but I was able to make it work. For this food prep time to be efficient, I had to remove the choice option and be ok with eating the same thing everyday

Using my deli containers, I made

1. Greek yogurt cups with pumpkin seeds, blueberries and ground flax seeds

2. Scooped melon

3. Pasta veggie salad

4. Breakfast cups- kale, bell pepper and chicken liver

   

Each morning, I would grab one of each and add to my lunch box.

Now the breakfast bowl is new. In addition to making my morning shake and morning bone broth, I wanted to streamline the warm breakfast I made each morning. So on Saturday, when I was making my prep container for lunch, I made 5 breakfast bowls. This way in the morning, after I pack my lunch, I can easily warm up my breakfast in a skillet and eat before I leave the house.

This takes care of breakfast and lunch for me.

The kids are eating pre- made breakfast burritos that I made over the summer. They are in the freezer and get taken out each night and warmed in the oven in the morning while they get ready. Thankfully they manage this themselves and I love it.

On Saturday I also made the main meat for dinner this week, Salmon and Taco Meat so that during the week, the reminder part of dinner was a quick fix right before class started.

The need for caffeine was in full force this week!

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Logistics

Sunday we have our weekly family meeting. This is where we talk about what each person has going on that week, who needs what from mom and how everyone is getting to where they need to be each day.

I usually make an agenda for the meeting and hand her person a copy. Its like a little business meeting. Then we add to the wall calendar using a color for each person and make sure we have everything that we “know about” accounted for.

This took such a weight off my shoulders and allowed me to fully focus on getting to class on time and being mentally present.

Studying

Last week after I received my syllabus from each class, I took some time and built out a study schedule. Having already laid out when I am going to study each class and do assignments, removed the pressure from having to figure it out each morning.

I also used my Notion dashboard each day, checking the assignments I had that week and shifting things around after having attended each class. For instance, I was able to understand what each professor was spending extra time on, so I made adjustments to allow the right amount of time for each classes assignment and areas to focus on.

What I didn’t plan for:

Even with all of the planning, there will be curveballs. Here is what I was not prepared for and what still need to figure out…

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Tomorrow is the first day of Law School and I honestly cannot believe it. You see in 2024 this was a merely a thought, a “hmmm I wonder if I should apply to law school’ thought. Who knew I would ever get the chance to say those words. A desire that started as a child, then sideline when I became pregnant in college. Never really thinking it would be an option I’d ever get the chance to consider, but I did and it’s here.

Excited and nervous would be the best words to describe this moment.

Excited about what’s to come yet nervous about the same. It’s not quite undergrad but it’s also not the movies.

How will I balance it all? Will the days flow like I planned them or will they be crazy? Will I fall asleep at my computer or make it to bed at a decent hour every night? Are my lunch breaks now destined for the car to stay on top of the reading and will that be enough? Am I crazy to even attempt this?

Honestly, I don’t know and for the first time in my life that is ok. I think for this season, I am not going to stress about walking into the unknown but instead embrace it for what it is. I am a 42 year old divorced mom of 4 who has a full time job, no family within a 2 hour drive and I am starting law school classes at night. If that’s not the unknown then I don’t know what is.

And to be honest, it’s a little scary.

Starting tomorrow, coffee will be in high demand!

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For those that have been on this journey with me since the spring, you know I have spent the last 3-4 months preparing for this day. Updating the house so the flow throughout was more organic, getting the kids on a more independent schedule and even prep cooking and stocking food for the fall semester.

And now the time has come. Time for all of the prep to go into action. Time to put on the helmet and play ball!

Now, last week was my final week for prep. Thankfully all of my major prep task were already done. This allowed me to focus solely on class prep and boy was it a lot.

• I received my books and spent time tabbing them out per assignment

• Each class has it own first day assignment that needed to be completed

• Attended the 2 day orientation

• Added white boards to each door to help with communication in the house

• Completed my Notion dashboard to help me stay organized with my assignments

• Built a preliminary study schedule to stay on track

  

Needless to say like a kid before the first day of school, I am ready. My lunch is packed, my computer is charged and my notebook is in place. All that is left to do is show up. Both in the physical , virtual and mental space… I am showing up because tomorrow I become a lawyer in training!

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Come sit with me as I unpack feelings I did not talk through in the article!

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Being a Type A person, it pains me to not be fully prepared. Not have it all laid out and planned out. Not be super human. But the thing is, we aren’t super human and more often than not, the role of being a single mom battles with, and often defeats, the type A Mom.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know when their first day of school was, unlike my first day- finding out I had the date wrong. I knew their date and started planning early. I bought supplies in advance and had been buying and storing snacks for weeks. I had even turned our dining room into a study café.

But even with all of that preparation, I was still finding myself making it to the next day only to realize I was not prepared. And then it dawns on me this morning, well to be honest I’ve known this for a while, but for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. If I don’t carve out time to prep for the next week, that week will explode regardless of my efforts.

So for context, last weekend was the last weekend before their school started. For me, I already had that weekend planned out. My dad was coming up to be my House Handy Man on Saturday and I had a few things on my checklist to do. Pretty straight forward weekend right?

Enter the kids with their own list of things to do before school starts:

• The twins had 4 stores they wanted to go “back” to for exchanges and more clothes. My oldest had already taken them for me during the week (not in my plan)

• My daughters hair needed to be done (this was in my plan though)

• My son wanted his hair braided and then he needed to swing by the barber for a line-up (not in my plan)

• Another school supply trip, thanks open house (in the plan)

It was like the perfect storm. The things I planned to do either got pushed back or took longer than plan. Either way, the point is, I went the entire weekend and absolutely did not prep for the next week and boy did I feel it.

My Systems of Sanity Failed

Or maybe I failed them.

When done properly, these systems actually work for me. Now I am learning the hard way, that if I am not disciplined and consistent, the snowball effect of that lack will overwhelm me every time. I seriously have to accept that prepping for the next week is a non-negitionable. Just like I protect going to bed by a certain time because I realize how valuable sleep is, I learned this week, so is prep time on the weekend.

My Systems (so far):

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For example, 2 Saturdays ago I got up in the morning and used that quiet time to prep for next week. Usually I do this on a Sunday but I really don’t like having a lot to do on a Sunday. I honestly want that day to be a day of rest. So this particular Saturday I said, let me prep. I have all the things I need and its quite here.

So I grabbed all my deli containers (I keep these in stock for meal prep) and made:

• 7 containers of my yogurt mix (Greek yogurt, fresh blueberries, pumpkin seeds and grounded flax seeds)

• 7 containers of tuna salad

• 7 containers of watermelon

Each morning, while I was completing my morning breakfast routine, I would grab a container of each and pack my lunch box. Now, yes, I ate the same thing for work everyday, but I also did not spend any money that week on lunch. So I count that as a win!

Even though this prep was just for my lunch, it made my life that week so simple and in this next season I know I will need more simple life systems to survive.

There was so much that was jammed into last weekend that I chose to push my prep time out. What I am also realizing is that I don’t want to tell my kids no. They don’t ask for much and they were so excited about back to school, so I really wanted to grant them all the wish wants they were throwing at me. But after this week, I have to find a way to balance that better. I have to tell myself no, stop filling up the weekend and eating up the time I need for prep. From now on, it has to happen.

Dinner was very much touch and go this week, some days I brought food home and other days they were too tired to eat dinner. Definitely not a proud moment here. The funny part in all of this is that I have the meals planned out already. But after missing that step over the weekend, I really could not catch up.

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My Life’s Non-Negotiables I Have to Accept

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It had been a long day. Normal back to back morning meetings met with an afternoon of last minute pivots and “we need this by end of day” requests. On any other day, this abnormal flow of events at work would have been yes, a lot, but manageable. But today, knowing I had classwork when I got home, the busyness took on new meaning.

Getting home, sitting at the desk, pressing play on my prep course module, I told myself you can do this Traci, you really can. Truth is I was tired, drained and a bit hungry. I pressed pause on the module and stared out the window.

“What am I doing” I thought to myself. “You are single, working, managing a household and now starting a law school journey?”, my thoughts continued as I stared out of my window in front of my desk. It’s sunny out, even though at any moment the sun will begin to set. In that moment while blankly staring at my poorly trimmed tree in the backyard, I had doubt, a lot of it. I began thinking of the totality of what I was taking on. How I am a type A planner and I don’t fully have every detail of the first month of law school fleshed out. Schedules and needs, all to be managed and executed by me.

“Can I do this? Should I do this?” The thoughts kept circling on a loop. The thing is I knew I didn’t have time to let these thoughts fester. I grabbed my phone, typed these thoughts as a note on Substack, put my phone on the shelf and pressed play again on the class module. The screen illuminated and the professor went back to explaining torts.

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About two weeks ago that was my day. I think it was a Monday. Real events and doubt. I am often asked in the comments since I have started this Substack, how I plan to do it all.

To be honest, I don’t have an answer

You see, I started this Substack for me. An outlet where I could write freely, where no one knew me. When I seriously decided to pursue going to law school, I thought, “I want to remember this process. I want to keep a log of the ups and downs, the moments of concern and laughter”. I remember starting a blog (outnumberedlove.wordpress.com) years ago when my fourth child was born. I was newly divorced and a new first-time homeowner (literally got the call I was going to closing the day I gave birth to my daughter). At that time my oldest was in middle school, my twins were in 3rd grade, I had a newborn and a new house, all while working full time. So plenty of intersections to blog about.

I so loved writing that blog and back then my life was a new funny sitcom everyday. I always had a funny or ironic story to tell my family. So blogging about it was a joy. Looking back at the blog is what inspired this journey on Substack. I wanted to be able to look back on this season of life and laugh at my days, relive the moments and how monumental they all would have been at the time.

So no, I don’t have it figured out, but also that isn’t the purpose here. The purpose is to pursue a dream I had as a little girl, while continuing to live my big girl life. Learning as I go, walking into the unknown with a little doubt somedays, maybe, but also with resolve and faith knowing that I am not alone. God is guiding my path and opening doors (and closing others) as I follow him.

So, with that context in mind, in all truth and transparency… classes start in 15 days and I am about 80% ready. Here is what I’ve done, the new organization system I am building and what’s left to do. Also sharing a few tips that has helped keep this single mom train moving:

The Study Café

Hooray! It’s finally done. This weekend we finally finished setting up the study café. By we, I mean my dad and my son. Up until now, I had done all I could do as far as updates and designs to the room. The last step was installations. Now old me, meaning Traci in her 30s, would have grabbed the drill and made things happen. This Traci has no interest in being everything, to everybody (including herself) anymore. Instead, I lean on those who can, the willing and able helpers.

Also, I usually keep a running list for my dad with the repairs that are needed around the house that either I can’t get to or want to try and address before I higher someone. At least until my husband finds me (but we won’t go down that rabbit hole).

So here it is:

The goal of the transformation was to provide a cozy and welcoming space for studying, gathering, eating and relaxing. I really want my home to be a place of rest for my family. I want it to feel like a warm hug when you walk in the door. Every room should be functional and inviting. And I really feel like I accomplished that here.

A few before and after shots:

Sectional couch can easily fit the whole family. The table, while still too big, is large enough to spread your books and snacks out. A white board for extra study strategies, a calendar to keep us all on track and plenty of wall space for my daughters art work as she paints throughout the year. This space will also be perfect for our family meetings.

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Food Prep

The goal was to prep for the full semester, both breakfast and dinner through pre-made items that would be frozen. While I was able to create the meal plan for the semester, prepping it all was not as easy nor did I have enough space to store it all.

I have about two weeks left before my classes start, so instead of trying to finish it all, I am going to focus on the first few weeks of dinner and either cook and freeze those meals or at least buy the ingredients so they are all here and ready to go. Saving my future self some time from going to the store. Now for those still curious about what I have actually made:

• Kids breakfast burritos

• Sweet potato pancakes

• Salmon croquettes

• Chicken bone broth

• Veggie and Egg Quiche

While not food prep exactly, I have bought kids school snacks for the next month and half, household staples to last until December (paper towels, tissue, laundry detergent, dish soap, A/C filters) and a few pantry staple items as well for the rest of the year (flour, rice, dried beans, chia seeds, sugar). Again, not earth shattering here, but thinking this should save me a trip or a “don’t forget” thought here and there in the future.

Home Office Set Up

Now this is nothing fancy and to be honest not fully complete. I spent so much time and budget on the rest of the house, that my room fell to the bottom of the list. I did get the space sectioned off for my office area and I am pleased with that. I still need to add a “refresher station” to my room. So think coffee bar, snack bar, tea bar all combined. The goal is to set it up to have the things I need to refresh me quickly while in class or right before. I know afterwork I will be limited on time and some days I may find myself rushing from the car straight to my desk, so having a set up in my room to make a warm drink or pick me up will be super convenient.

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Notion

Now as much as I am an old school physical planner, pen and paper note taker, I have to be honest about making the best most efficient use of the time I have. Since I don’t know all that I am walking into, I want to try and set up a tool to help me stay organized and link all the various areas of my life in one place. While I still plan to use my planner outnumberedlife.com, I want to implement this new process and see if it helps more in this new season.

Now I am extremely new to Notion, I mean like 1 week new. But from what I have read, I feel this will be a great place to house what I am looking for. I am still building the dashboard, with the help of Youtube and the tool’s AI agent, but thinking of sharing the template I land on once it’s cleaned up a bit. My goal is to have one place to look each morning that spells out my day and obligations. So we will see if I get there.

Law School Next Steps

Now that my prep course is complete, I am taking the next two weeks to mentally relax. As a single working mom, that is going to look different. For me that means sleeping in past 6am on weekends, watching Tv some week nights and I might try and get one day of binge watching in. I have to admit, it is VERY hard for me to turn my brain off and do nothing. There is always something to do here, but I will definitely make a concerted effort over these next few weeks.

Class schedule has been received and book order placed. I do have some equipment I need to buy for my office area like a better camera, the one on my laptop isn’t the best, a speaker or a headset with a mouth piece and then eventually a better desk chair. Although now that I think of it, I should get that chair when I get everything else. Comfortable seating is a non-negotiable.

Ok, well I think that brings us up to date. This week the kids start school. I am so thankful they start 2 weeks before I start. This gives us all time for them to get back into their routine before my availability changes.

Looking forward to sharing more updates soon!

Until Next Time,

Traci

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-Traci

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Welcome back to my Discovery series, where I am using the next 2 months to get my house and mind ready to be a 42 yr old part time law student as a divorced mom of 4 with a full time job.

Wow where has the time gone. I must say, I am thankful to have had this summer to prep for this next season as honestly without, I would have been more of a nervous wreck come this fall. Having the summer has allowed me to think through what could work, what would be needed and even space for trial and error.

Ok with that said, let’s jump into the updates because there are plenty.

Now after our family vacation this summer, the main focus when I returned was to only be on food. Cooking all of the prep meals I’d identified earlier in the summer to help make the transition into being a part time law student a bit easier. Well, because I am Traci, I always seem to find a way to up the ante, add more to my plate of things that could be nice but maybe not needed in that moment. Enter the “study café”, transforming my unused dining room into a cozy, study, eating, gathering room for the family since we will all be in school.

Also, since my last update, I was able to secure the furniture needed to turn my room into an office/bedroom, and thanks to facebook marketplace and my handy neighbor, I was able to get them for free. My goal is to use split the room in half essentially, one part for the office and the other for the bedroom with a clear line of separation, hence the additional furniture.

Man even writing about this feels over whelming knowing that time is flying by.

Lastly, I started the assigned law school prep course this week and wow wow wow! Now its not the content that’s is hard, it’s the adjustment you have to, well need to make, in your schedule to make it all work oh and stay sane at the same time.

Ok lets get into it!

The Study Café

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s been a great transition so far and to be honest has been on my goal sheet for some time. But why I would pick now to do it…. The world may never know.

For a reference, here is how it started, a wide empty space with your standard furniture. Honestly, it just felt cold. While the table fit the space, the rest of the furniture was just there… no real personality. I also have this thing with paying for something and not using it. Part of me would love a tiny home with no wasted space, so you can imagine how much this room just nagged at me. Daily walking by it, but not in use. Square footage that probably should have gone to a different part of the house, but I digress. So, like I said, it was always on the list of one day that has clearly turned into today.

Since I had already painted my foyer this bold terracotta color, I knew the rest of the house needed to be a bit more neutral…. Well, also because my kitchen is a soft denim blue. What can I say, I love color! First step was to get the walls painted, then shop for the couch.

Because I work in retail, I have this thing about paying “retail” for certain things. Especially when quality fabrics are not always used in the new products ( you can thank my fabrication class in college). So, with my inspiration picture in hand I hit the thrift stores in search of a couch to use as a dinette. This was impossible! I knew I could make a couch and loveseat work but I also wanted the sectional look.

At the end of one Saturday, now in my 5^th thrift store of the day, I saw a couch. Could it be the couch…. Maybe. I was on the fence. Structurally, it was the best I had seen all day, the pattern… well it could grow on me but the size was perfect. And in the world of thrifting, it’s important to know what your non-negotiables are as your selection is not wide. After consulting my project partner (my twin teen daughter), we got the couch and I spent the next week ordering (and returning) things, shopping facebook market place, oh, and painting to get this room pulled together.

Having a budget really kept me focused on the big picture here. Also, so thankful that a few of the pieces in the room were actually free, score!

Ok so while the room is not done, we are definitely on our way. The majority of the orders have arrived and are waiting assembly… this is where that helpful handy man comes onto the scene.

Oh father dear! My dad is pretty use to the “Daddy, when you have some time…” call. Since I am type A person, I send him a list of things that need attention and he carves out a weekend or a day (depending on the list) to come over and knock it out. This list might need to be a weekend, but I’ll be sure to cook and keep him well fed!

Now let’s talk about food and meal prep.

Meal Prep Olympics

Earlier in the year, when I ‘restarted’ this substack, I listed out meals I wanted to make in advance to help with the transition into law school. Now that the summer is finally here and the kids are on break, I have more time to actually cook the prep food. Now in an ideal world, I would take a week off work and just knock these out. But realistically, that is not an obvious choice. So that leaves the weekends mainly (when I don’t decide to randomly add a new project to the list).

I decided to focus on breakfast since I felt it would take the least amount of time and most of the ingredients were the same. Here is a quick view of what I am attempting… for breakfast.

Last year I started making the kids breakfast burritos as a way to ensure they had a warm meal before school, or at least put my mind at ease that they had the option (some mornings they grabbed them but didn’t eat them). Well this kind of turned into a routine for us, making them on the weekend and them warming them up in the morning before we left. Since that worked so well, why change it I thought.

So far I have made:

40 breakfast burritos- but honestly we probably need double that to get us through the first month, so not done with that yet

20 Salmon Croquettes- those are for me to either eat on the way to work or once I am there, we will see

30 sweet potato pancakes- also for me and thinking this is either for work days or weekend mornings, when I am up before the kids studying

4 weeks of Bone Broth- Not necessarily breakfast, but I do drink it first thing in the morning before doing anything else

But as you can see, I still have a few more breakfast items to tackle and one behemoth of a mountain I have been avoiding… BISCUITS.

I know these are suppose to be so easy, but some how I have found a way to over think them. I genuinely hate buying frozen biscuits when I know they are so easy to make and freeze. So like most things that are a challenge for me, I am determined to overcome it. Biscuits… you have met your match!

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Now the plan is to get all of the breakfast items done in the month of July and spend August solely focused on dinner. The kids will be back in school by then so what I am thinking is when I cook dinner, I will focus on the meals on my prep list and just make double. One for dinner and one to freeze. In addition to continuing the weekend cooking and prepping.

I am sure, well if you made it this far, you are thinking, where in the heck is she going to store all of this. I Do Not Know. While I have a chest deep freezer, it’s full and so are the freezer sections of my other two refrigerators. I can say some of that is either prepped food or food to be prepped so that space will take care of itself. However, if I am being honest, that chest freezer has some things at the bottom I just know need to see a trashcan. I am hoping once I clean that out, I will have opened up more space.

Law School Prep Course

And finally the prep course. The course is mainly around introducing us to concepts, skills and vocabulary that we will encounter once law school starts. Almost like a soft launch, a small taste of what to expect so you aren’t fully blind sided. And I must say I am eternally grateful. While the content is not hard, the consistency of logging in after work and focusing has been an eye opener.

What I find interesting is that I took an LSAT prep course where my class was at night from 7pm-11pm and the goal of that was to give me a taste of what to expect. So you would think I would be accustomed to it or unbothered. Complete lies!

I knew going back to school in my 40s would present obstacles I did not face in my 20s, but man. I can say immediately what I notice is my energy levels and to me that equates to what I put in my body. So now my mind is thinking how I will need to alter the food I eat during the day to ensure I have the energy to pull from after work. Versus waiting until dinner to fill my tank back up. My tank needs to be full before I get home, then have food to eat on while in class. Just my initial thoughts, which could change but that’s where I am so far.

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Also I think I may have underestimated the “class after work” concept. Now granted we all come home after work and do “something”. That could be cooking or cleaning or resting or the gym, you name it. I am choosing to take classes, so still something. But there is something about coming home and mentally turning your brain on or never turning it off. Not going into auto pilot. It’s real and it’s a shift. Even as I write this I keep hearing the comments from previous post say, remember it’s temporary. And it is, and I will have to do a better job of remembering that. Temporary discomfort for future gain and benefit. Hard but worth it.

Ok there you have it, the latest updates in my prep for law school. If you even made it this far, I commend you because I know it was a lot and honestly, thank you. I started this substack as a way to document my journey for me, a way to capture this lift shift live, while it was happening. I never expected this many people to also be curious about my journey and want to follow along, let alone contribute and support it. So thank you. If you are or aren’t a subscriber. Thanks for reading a moment in my life’s journey.

-Traci

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Reminder to Paid Subscribers: Your welcome email includes a discount code good for all downloadable PDFs featured in newsletter articles.

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• Back to School Prep Planner

• Fall Semester Meal Plan Organizer

• Fall Semester Meal Prep Grocery List

• Fall Semester 14 Week Meal Plan

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Welcome back to my Discovery series, where I am using the next month and a half to get my house and mind ready to be a 42 yr old part time law student as a divorced mom of 4 with a full time job.

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I cannot believe it is time to start thinking about back to school again.

Every year I try my best not to let that season sneak up on me, mainly because of it definitely has in the past and that is the worst feeling for someone who budgets everything. The kids are usually so excited about back to school shopping and I’ve had years where I didn’t plan ahead and there was basically no budget for “fun cool things” and just the basics that year.

Sometimes as a single parent you can get so caught up in the day to day things that you miss the life events that require pre-planning. For me, I can become so focused, almost like having tunnel vision, on making sure the bills are paid, the kids have what they need day to day or that I am in place for what they need daily, that I forget to look ahead. There are yearly life events that are outside of the day to day and for me, in the past, they have snuck up on me and not in a good way.

Being so focused on the day to day, I have had years when I forgot to or didn’t have time and resources to properly plan for Christmas, Birthdays and Back to School. At one point it was so overwhelming, I told myself something had to change. I was drowning in responsibilities essentially. So I went back to what worked for me before I had double and triple the amount of responsibilities.

A day planner.

Well not only did they not make them like I remembered, the ones available at that time just didn’t fully meet my needs. So I decided to make one!! Through convincing by my sister, I made a planner that fit every need I had as a mom as well as the needs of my head of household role. I took a year to designed, develop and have it manufactured and honestly it was awesome, I even sold a few for a while.

Figured if I needed this help, I am sure someone else did and I was right.

So as you can imagine, one of the pages I added was a back to school page. If I am being honest, I actually added a page for just about every yearly event a parent would need to remember. Probably a tad bit over board now looking back, but hey, it got the job done.

If you have read any of my articles, then you know how my type A brain works. For those that have not, here is everything I included in the planner so you know I am not joking:

· Back to School Prep Page

· School Orientation/Open House Page

· Black Friday Shopping Page

· Gift Shopping Page

· Holiday Menu Planning Page

· Dr Appointments Tracker Page

· Birthday Planning Page

· Vacation Planning Page

· Summer Camp Planning Page

· Spring Cleaning Page

· Monthly Budget Tracking Page

· Grocery Shopping List Page

· Monthly Meal Planner Page

· Monthly Calendar View

· Weekly Day by Day view of course

But you see my point, as both a mom and head of household, I needed to keep all of these moving parts organized and needless to say, no other planner did that.

None the less, here we are and it’s time to use the Back to School Page. And while it may seem like overkill, I am thankful I have a dedicated space to make sure I properly plan for this and get kids everything they need and even a few of their wants.

You know it use to be so easy when they were in elementary school and younger. All the decisions were mine and all the clothes were cheaper.

The multi pack of underwear and socks had more in them than they do now. And matter of fact, I only had to buy underwear for three. Now its underwear, undershirts, Bras and various socks lengths depending on the child. And if I am feeling fancy, even a few color options thrown in there ( although I should probably check with the kids first to see if they would even wear them now).

Then the audacity of high schools to remove uniforms… like what parent agreed to that? Uniform shopping was the best, made it so easy for us parents. No longer can I do a mass online order of uniforms for the kids. Nope. They have styles and opinions and things they won’t wear. Ugh! I also learned I get offended when I buy them something I think is cute or nice and it just sits in the closet. So this year, they are each getting a budget and doing their own shopping.

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I’ll pick a day, give them their money and they will tell me where to drive. Now regardless of the stores they pick, I will still be taking them to a thrift store. While I am all for new trendy clothes, I think it’s important that they see how much more than can get for the same amount of money.

Also, I use it as a chance to teach them about quality, price and being responsible with their money. Like most kids, they want to get as much as possible and this is a great way to teach them what that really means. Thankfully, my kids are use to thrift store shopping and they love to find different things and lately even transform them into a new style.

So, like a rooster when the sun rises, my body and mind are letting me know it’s about that time. Time to start the fun season of back to school shopping. Literally, this past Thursday morning at 4am, I was up shopping and honestly pretty proud of myself.

I decided to start with the undergarments by child first then typically I would habe move onto book bags. But after last year, being kindly told they were too old for the book bags I would normally buy ( I’ll miss you Lands End), I guess after undergarments this year, it would just be their individual budget amounts.

I do try and grab some of the common school supplies before the year starts but this year might be a little different as I no longer have elementary school kids anymore. I’ve learned that in middle school every teacher is specific on what they need and oddly enough, its not the main supplies from elementary school. I’ll still buy in advance but be sure to leave room in the budget for the class specifics.

Plus, in high school, just about everything is done on their laptops so not much to get there either. Regardless, I always buy for the house by buying double of a few things on the list. One set for school and one set for the house. This way when the school runs out, I have extra and when the kids break, lose or destroy something we have it.

You’d be surprised, or maybe not if you have kids, how quickly they run through things. So to reduce my stress from the inevitable “Mom I need more..” and me knowing the prices are triple what they were in August, I just stock up. Instead of asking me, they just go straight to the supply drawer and grab what they need.

Since I will be starting Law School this fall and my oldest will be taking some courses at the local college, that supply drawer might need to turn into a supply closet this year, just to be sure we are all stocked up.

You know, now that I am typing this out, I think I will add that to the family meeting agenda, “what school supplies did you use last year that you liked and want to have again this year?” Same me some time!

Even though it’s crazy to think it’s time for back to school shopping, the time as come! And honestly, I feel like there is a hidden cost to waiting until August. No thank you to the crowded store isles and picking through what is left.

Yes it’s July and yes I am back to school shopping already! So tell me, am I alone?

-Traci

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• Back to School Prep Planner

• Fall Semester Meal Plan Organizer

• Fall Semester Meal Prep Grocery List

• Fall Semester 14 Week Meal Plan

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While my Substack is about being a single mom, managing a full-time job, kids and the start of law school, at the core of it all is me, being a single mom and grabbing life by the horns. But you see as much as I am a single mom, I am still a woman, single, trying to navigate this life…these kids…this household ALONE.

And to be honest its hard. Not every day, but many days yes, it’s hard. And I hate it, not every day, but some days yes, I hate it. The loneliness, the struggle, the pressure and the balancing act of single motherhood.

Sometimes, I yearned for a responsible partnership so much that it physically hurts. No one knew, because like many people say about me “I always seemed to have it together”. But to be honest, what other option was there? Bills must be paid and children have to be fed. So, figuring it out turned into a life of necessity and survival. Regardless, doesn’t mean that the heaviness of it all doesn’t get to me… sit with me… wake up with me.

You see I have been a mom since 19, and while the relationship with their father, my ex-husband, did not go as planned, I knew life didn’t end and I still needed to wake up daily and grab life by the horns. Along the way, I learned that being a single mom also meant being head of household.

Now to me, being head of household, based off of my learned experience, meant being the person that is in charge of keeping the house running and making the decisions. For me, being responsible for the life of 5 people and every decision that concerns them is heavy. There is a real weight connected to it. A weight you can feel in your shoulders and neck when you lay down at night.

Working, caring, cooking, shopping, driving, cleaning… you name it and one person does it. In my opinion, the responsibility of a parent was never designed to be fulfilled alone. Managing a home and raising children requires two, needs two people. Doing it alone not only leaves you tired, but mentally and emotionally drained. Splitting the mental load between paying the bills on time, evaluating when, if and how your income needs to grow over time, savings, game attendance and first breakups.

Or when your income no longer supports the growth of the family and having to be the one to figure out what needs to be done to continue to maintain, or heck survive. Making the choice when raising the family, understanding there is a sacrifice attached to the decision but the lack of one presents a risk that you won’t survive.

For one person to try and do it all, well things will get missed or rushed or rescheduled.

Having the ability, the luxury to share those responsibilities with another gives you space and peace to be available. Available mentally and emotionally to yourself, your home and your children. It gives you space to be feminine and soft, should you choose that.

“Oh but you are divorced so your kids spend time with their dad and you get some downtime.”

Doesn’t change the dynamics of your household, you are still the only adult, the head, the leader, the provider. Even when they aren’t there, the clock doesn’t stop. Even in that down time, I am still cooking, cleaning, prepping and occasionally resting or trying to define a life for me.

And if I am being fully honest, when I got divorced I learned quickly that I needed to disconnect my feelings and face the facts of reality. For instance, holidays. When divorced you share, split or alternate them. No longer did I have the luxury to tie special moments only to certain dates like Christmas or Birthdays or New Years. I had to learn to turn off that side of me or I would cry, literally all the time. As a result, over the years it’s as though the maternal femininity connected to it also died.

Being head of household and navigating parenting single, or in my case divorced, has made me hard, focused, cold, strict and unfortunately emotionally turned off more times than I care to admit. Try being soft, caring and sensitive when you are managing bills, working 40 hours a week, appliances going out and your car not starting that morning.

Yes, I want a hug from my kids but I equally just want some space. Now granted, every single mom may not respond to managing this role like I have. But sometimes it seems like the only way to get to the next day. To keep the train moving and all parts of the train at least on board.

So, when I say I am envious of other moms, I envy the luxury some moms have of sharing the load. Having someone to bounce thoughts off of, discuss decisions, handle the car and appliance maintenance, not having all the weight of success or failure land solely on your shoulders.

Having someone to focus on the 20 ft view for the family, while the other is more intimate with the needs of the home and its occupants. Someone to split the morning and afternoon routine with. A run to the grocery store while you cook because you forgot an ingredient. Handing over the crying baby while you get the toddler twins situated. Having the mental time and space to be creative and nurturing instead of hard and ridged or tactical.

Instead, I’ve been learning how to be both stern and soft. Gentle and tactical. To get through the responsibilities and day to day logistics on one income that is traded for my time and labor but still being able to come home and be emotionally present to hear about their day, the good and bad and how their math teacher is annoying. And sometimes as a result, those soft, nurturing and gentle qualities are in short supply. I want to be that for them, but I am tired and drained and still need to wash a few loads while cooking tonight.

Now having been married and dated before, I recognize that not all partners embody the definition of a partner for you or your unique circumstance or needs. I also respect the thought that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

But you see, what I am referring to is the true, respected, appreciated, voluntary type of partnership founded in love, respect and honor. I get no relationship is perfect, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t daydream about sharing the mental load with someone. Having a track and field 4x4 partner to hand over the baton to daily.

Now please don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a newsletter of complaints but instead of the transparent realities that I face and most of the times hide from the world (well at least until this gets published). No one really plans to be a single mom. It wasn’t something I set out for, and truth be told, tried for MANY years to prevent it from being my reality. But regardless of my efforts, it is, at least for now.

What about building systems that work while you sleep? Free up some time!

Recently the soft life has been a hot topic these days in the dating world. As a woman, being able to be soft starts in the mind, yes, but it is 100% connected to your environment. Being in a relationship that allows you to not have to think about certain things or handle and manage certain things, allows for the soft life. Allows for you to turn that part of your brain off and turn other parts on.

Now there is a school of thought where you build the soft life for yourself. Valid and possible. But you see, there is a trade-off there. You may decide to build systems, businesses or processes that eventually will work while you sleep and thus give you the chance to experience a soft life as a single person. But the building takes time along with trial and error, and time is a precious commodity you can’t get back. I know from experience!

Here’s the thing, I don’t have it all figured out and daily I am up trying, navigating and giving it my best. But there are days when the reality of it all, the tough heavy busyness of it all gets to you. Some days, eats at you.

You look up and ask yourself “How did I end up here?”.

Yes, my life is full of accomplishments I would never take for granted. But I am also human and sometimes simply lonely.

I am honored that I get this chance at 42 to fulfill my childhood dream of going to law school. I recognize balancing school, home and kids looks different for me than it will for others. My walk with Christ keeps me focused and where I pull my joy from on those low days. I also rely heavily on systems within my home to help lessen the load when possible. And for the most part, it works. It’s helped me to maintain a semblance of order in my life and home. But all in all, the reality of it all still remains. And there are times when it’s more overwhelming than not.

I am not really sure why this topic has been chasing me for months. Why, no matter how many times I tried to ignore it or lately say “fine I will write it but never publish it”, it still lingered within me. Maybe there is another single mom out there having these same thoughts and wondering if they are alone or if there is something wrong with them for even having those thoughts. I am not sure, but if so…

You aren’t alone and there is nothing wrong.

Either way, there it is, my quiet side of being a Single Mom

-Traci

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• Fall Semester Meal Prep Grocery List

• Fall Semester 14 Week Meal Plan

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Welcome back to my Discovery series, where I am using the next 2 months to get my house and mind ready to be a 42 yr old part time law student as a divorced mom of 4 with a full time job.

While not apart of the of the official series, I thought I would write about a planned, yet unplanned, trip celebrating my mom’s retirement. While this trip was always taking place this summer, the start of law school was the uncertainty part. Once law school became official, I thought let me fully indulge and enjoy this trip to the best of my abilities knowing what’s ahead of me.

As much as possible, I would like to maintain some level of normalcy for my family during this life pivot. Becoming a grad student in my 40s with 4 kids, a mortgage, a full-time job and all of the financial responsibilities that are attached to that is no small feat. Trust me I am aware.

But even in all of that, life still goes on. And in the midst of that I still want to try and maintain normal life traditions for my kids and I. For us, one of those things is a summer vacation. Stepping away from the monotony of everyday life to enjoy the simple pleasures of life we usually take for granted.

• Spending time together intentionally

• Enjoying more of nature intentionally

• Removing the pressure of set schedules and responsibilities

So, this summer is no different and I could argue, even more important than previous vacations. While the planning and paying for this vacation to celebrate my mother’s retirement started a year ago, knowing what is ahead for me and my household, I aimed to enjoy it more purposefully.

Now vacationing as a single mom is no walk in the park. Typically, our vacations are closer to home so there is less pressure with things like packing. This was a bit different, so packing for the kids and I took on new meaning, I even had to break out spreadsheets and individual list. It was serious!

But once we made it onto the actual trip, it was so interesting to see how different the kids were on this vacation compared to previous vacations.

At the airport, it was like I watched my son turn into a young man right before my eyes. Being the one who has always carried the luggage and kids (usually at the same time), I held a deeper appreciation when my son carried my luggage along with his.

Watching my daughters hang out for longer periods of time than they did at home, melted my heart. As a parent you wonder if you are making a difference. Are you raising them to be good people on the inside? Being able to witness these little glimpses in real time gives me reassurance that I am doing something right. Even if just 10% of the time.

With them being older, there was less minute by minute planning I needed to do for their entertainment. Not only did I get some time to myself to enjoy parts of the vacation on my terms, but I had a lot of time for reflection.

There is something about being in nature that will cause you to reflect not only on your life, but the whys behind the decisions you make and don’t make.

There is so much in life that we stress over, or let me rephrase that, that I stress and worry over. Being surrounded by majestic mountains has a way of melting all of those concerns away. Reenergizing “my why” for law school along with shifting my perspective while re-identifying my priorities.

Now for a moment of transparency, even in all of the relaxing and self-reflection, I still found myself not fully checked out from my real life. I checked my work messages a few times one day, until my coworker told me to stop. So thankful for her!

And on day 5 of 8, I begin working on my to do list for when I return. Honestly, not sure we moms can ever fully turn our brains off. However, there is something freeing about making the list and knowing you cannot do anything about it until after vacation, so that’s a small win too!

For the first time in a long time, I intentionally tried to relax daily and slow down to soak in every moment.

Being grateful for not having to cook or navigate to the different locations. Soaking in all of the views and praying daily I never forget them. Knowing there will be long nights and probably sleepless nights ahead of me and when I daydream, I want to be taken back to these moments only. Reminding myself that I prepared as much as I could for this and that this is not impossible. But step by step anything is possible.

Back to more planning,

Traci

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• Fall Semester 14 Week Meal Plan

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Video chat diving into the 14 week meal plan and next steps. Almost halfway there ya’ll!

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Rolling up my sleeves and rubbing my hands together in excitement for this newsletter. I honestly have no idea why I get so excited about all things planning and food prep!

To be honest I have genuinely been looking forward to building out this family meal plan for a few weeks now. The Breakfast , Lunch and Dinner plan that will take me and my 4 kids through the fall semester.

You see, I will be going back to school for the first time in 16 years this fall and it’s safe to say I am not fully sure what to expect as a first year law student. My excess time looks drastically different than it did 16 years ago. Not to mention, I had less children.

I know my life as it stands now is full and this addition of law school will basically take it over the top. So I am thinking, it probably wouldn’t hurt to be proactive while I still have free time.

And since I know how important it is to keep the food train moving here, I figure’d I should also prep out what this looks like for that time.

Now you are probably thinking, Yes Traci but everybody’s life is full. And this is true. But for a quick reference point, here is a typical day for me or a somewhat variation thereof:

• I am up at 4:30 am, making sure the twins are up and out the door for their bus

• 5-7am getting ready for work and getting my youngest up so she doesn’t miss her bus

• My commute is anywhere from 30-45 mins- hello morning traffic and caffeine

• Work 8-5pm

• After-school Pick up by 6pm

• After-school Sports Game (end time varies 4-11pm, think football season)

• Home between 6-7pm (ideally)

• Dinner is usually cooked, but if not I try to have everyone fed by 9:30 at the very latest

• Bed between 9:30-10 (Except Fridays, we stay up past our bedtime and fall asleep on the couch, or maybe I should say I, I stay up and fall asleep on the couch)

And there you have it, the basic make up of my weekday.

Saturdays are when I get 80% of my errands done for the house, unless there is an event for one of the kids, then I either order delivery or push it to Sunday.

Sunday we attend church in the morning then it’s usually more errands, cooking dinner and our family meeting at 7pm.

As you can see, pretty full!

Now let’s add Law School into that 6-9pm time slot during the week and I am sure you can see why a meal plan is vital for our survival, or should I say my sanity.

Hungry kids get Hangry. Try to avoid this at all cost!

Wearing so many hats can be a lot some days and I don’t want to underestimate what I am walking into. And since I also don’t want us to starve … here we are.

When it comes to feeding my tribe, staying one step ahead of their appetite is the only way I think I have made it this far. And to be honest, I don’t even think this meal plan helps to put me ahead.

If anything, this plan keeps the ship afloat. I swear I need a full-time chef cooking around the clock just to keep up with my son. But I digress.

The idea behind the meal plan is that 1-2 times a week I can pull from the pre-made stash to be the dinner or breakfast meal for that day(s). For instance, cook dinner on a Sunday to last us until Wednesday, then pull from the pre- made stash on Wednesday to get us through Friday. Saturdays are my day off from cooking and a great day to get through the left-overs. Then Sunday we repeat the cycle again.

To me it all boils done to the math, the mom math:

The Mom Math

• 6 dinners a week (one night is fend for yourself, I am off duty)

• 6 breakfast options a week per person or 30 options (think make yourself or pre-made). Sunday I usually cook a big breakfast for the family when I can.

• 3 hours before work- usually spent getting kids and I out the door or potentially adding in studying

• 7 hours working in the office (obviously can’t cook there)

• 1 hour lunch (which will now go to studying)

• 4 ½ hours after work before bedtime with 2-3 of those hours in class or at a kids event

Results: There is no time during the week to cook which leaves the weekend where I will have test and errands to complete, oh and kids sports activities

So in order for us to actually survive day to day, the only other option is to meal prep like a maniac.

As a single mom there is a level of “figure it out” that I mentally carry with me daily. Deciding to go to law school while my kids were still in the home definitely was a big decision. But to be honest, I never second guessed the logistics part of it. In my mind, I would just have to figure it out.

Being able to lean on another adult to take on the load of cooking and errand running isn’t a luxury I have. Don’t get me wrong, I would love it, but it’s not my reality at the moment. And if I focused solely on what my reality theoretically was capable of, I most definitely would not be where I am today.

My internal push and drive keeps me going towards “what’s next” and the logistics of it all just get figured out. Not playing a violin here but you know, sharing a little of my behind the mask thoughts.

So, now that you understand the why, let’s talk the how.

Step 1: Identify the meals I wanted to cook ahead (download free list)

If you haven’t read that article, here is a link, I do think you would enjoy it. The goal was to identify meals that are easy for me to make and freeze as well as ones my family will enjoy. Not in the mood to waste time or money here with something new.

Step 2: Build out 90 days of breakfast and dinner meals

The goal is to place this on the refrigerator each week. This helps me to look ahead at want is planned out and also eliminates the “what’s for dinner” question my children enjoy annoying me with. (p.s my answer is always “food”, drives them crazy!!).

The way I see it, I will have so much to think about and process, that being able to have these decisions already decided will be a much needed relief.

I am a sucker for a calendar form print out, please enjoy!

Step 3: Make a grocery list of the food I will need for the prepped meals

I took a look at my prep meal list and listed out the items needed then organized them by meal of the day (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) This way, even as I am doing my regular weekly shopping, I can grab some things here and there. Especially if they are on sale. I also found it helpful to take a quick inventory of what I already had. While I know I’ll need more, it’s good to know where my starting point is.

If interested, you can find the grocery list here!!

Step 4: Begin the grocery shopping

So I started with buying the meat (well my mom and I did, it takes a village).

Funny enough, now my freezers are too full. Thinking I will have to be strategic about balancing the currently frozen food with the cooked food that needs to be frozen and stored.

Step 5: Cook and Freeze

The cooking part is pretty straight forward. I will attack it by meal of the day. For instance, focus on all the breakfast meals to cook and freeze then move on to the dinner segments and so on.

The freezing part will require some extra thought. Currently when I do my batch cooking for the week, I use aluminum trays for the connivence. I cook in them, store them in the refrigerator then reheat the next day. Saves on dishes, time and makes it easy for the kids to help.

While I know this method will work for most of the dishes I am cooking, it won’t work for the space I have. Which leads me to vacuum sealing.

Freezing food then placing in a vacuum sealed bags to ultimately save on space. Basically a two step process with freezers that are already full.

So again, this step will require some strategic planning for sure.

If all goes as planned, by the middle of August I will have all of the pre planned meals cooked and in the freezer. And based on this list, looks like all of my weekends in July are essentially booked!

Until next time,

Happy Cooking!

Check out all the featured PDF downloads below:

• Fall Semester Meal Plan Organizer

• Fall Semester Meal Prep Grocery List

• Fall Semester 14 Week Meal Plan

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I had my first child at 19, still a child myself, but I immediately dove into all thing’s “motherhood”. All things that I could afford that is. I was a full-time student at FSU and full time mom.

Having a child as a freshman severely limits your social life and your ability to have or even discover fun. Especially when no one else has children. Essentially, a sea of loneliness. I found myself having more in common with my professor than my classmate.

To be honest I was so ashamed that I had a child out of wedlock that I become obsessed with classes and graduating with my original class. I was determined not to be skip a beat.

I finished college having attended less than 5 parties. Did I have the good ole “college experience”? Nope not at all.

I didn’t really regret it, but I also didn’t really have the time to think about regretting it. I was focused on graduation, getting a job and providing for my daughter.

Thing is, because I was so focused on being a mom and a student, and because I had her so young, I had no idea who I was or who I could be. At the time, I didn’t care. Looking back on that, I wish I did care.

Now no one forced me to get super serious at 19 or turn my whole world around to focus on my daughter. I wanted to. I changed my career track intention from pre-law to marketing. To me that was the safer route. The industry that would allow for work life balance. That’s right, at 19 I was thinking about work life balance. Not Fun.

I married my daughter’s father a few years after graduation and had the twins. At that time, I was re-enrolled at FSU for my second degree. A mom under 30, married, in school full time with new-born twins and an elementary school child.

Fun? What is that again?

I was so head strung on living the “life”, married with kids! Yet I still did not know who I was or what I considered fun. I never found out how an adult in their 20s can have fun and I didn’t have time to consider that.

My marriage ended shortly after it started, and I was thrust back into single mom life. If I am being honest, single mom life never left me. You do know it’s possible to be married and still be a single mom. But I digress.

So fun? Such a foreign concept. Single mom to 4, working full time and making $39.7k a year with two degrees. A number I will never forget. My focus was food, shelter and staying employed. There was no room for fun or what Traci considered fun.

Fun cost money and that was not something I had a lot of. So I learned to have fun with my kids doing free things. Granted the city we lived in provided plenty of options, which I loved, and the beach was 15 mins away so that was perfect, and free!!. But fun for me, I honestly didn’t know what that was or that I even needed to explore that.

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It wasn’t until recently, now that my kids are older, that I began to ponder the question. What do I like to do for fun? Now that I have space and time to make more adult friends and going out, what is fun for me? And to be transparent I still don’t know.

On the one hand, fun cost money. As does exploring what could be fun. Now I thankfully make more than my initial salary of $39.7k, but I still have 4 kids and a mortgage, so let’s not act like we are just rolling over here (yet).

On the other hand, when I have the margin for “fun” I honestly don’t know where to start or when. Maybe its traveling yearly or concerts or galas, who knows really. My schedule is legit filled 80% of the time. And trust me that is not an exaggeration.

So if I have 20% of time that’s given to all humans to live for me to have fun, where do I even start?

Then my mind goes down a rabbit hole on whether said idea is worth the effort to get dressed, put a bra on and make-up to see if said activity will make the Traci list of fun. But then if I don’t do it, when I am asked “Hey what do you do for fun” I would still have no answer. Because reading and going to the movies is not it anymore Traci (or perhaps it never was).

I can say, the decision to go to law school in my 40s, while it might not make the list of having fun or being fun, it is a decision I made for me and as a single mom, that’s not something we get to do often. Making decisions that are solely for us, perhaps a little selfish even. For us, those are luxuries, while for others can be considered a normal Monday.

So how do single moms have fun, I don’t know.

But starting now, I am willing to do the work to find out. Heck, I’ll need a little escape in between semesters now that I think about it!

Here’s to self-exploration and your true definition of having fun!

Traci

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In 2024 I made the official decision to go after my childhood dream of being an attorney. In order to do that, I needed to know more about the LSAT. At the time, all I knew was that I needed to complete the LSAT and the various school applications. What I learned along the way was so much more!

LSAC is your friend

I started off by doing what most do when they need to learn something quickly, I took to the internet. The first thing I kept seeing was the acronym LSAC, referenced everywhere. I initially thought it was some type of marketing ploy.

It definitely was not.

To even begin your Law School journey, you have to first have an account on LSAC.com, or the “Law School Admissions Council”. Your test registration, LSAT prep and school application process are all done through this website. Once you have your account set up, you now have access to a world of information and steps needed in the application and test prep process.

LSAC provides multiple resources to help guide you in your journey to applying for law school including a “Plus Guided Journey” program. Acceptance into the program essentially means you will have direct help with the entire process, along with benefits and reduced cost and fee waivers for various steps along the way.

I did not apply. Mistake #1. Don’t be like me, APPLY!

At the time, I thought about applying but decided not to, thinking I could navigate the process alone and the cost would not be too bad. I was wrong. Hindsight, I should have applied for the assistance. If this is a program you qualify for or you feel would apply to you, apply, apply, APPLY. This journey ended up costing way more than I expected and having someone to reach out to would have been priceless.

The LSAT Plan or Flop

My plan was to do what I did for undergrad. Study, take the test and apply as soon as applications opened in September. Get accepted early and have a year to get my life ready. But you see, the LSAT isn’t a test of memory or knowledge. Instead, it’s a test of critical reading, reasoning and analytical skills Needless to say, memorization will only take you so far.

I will be the first to admit that I am a know it all, but I also love to learn. I did well in school, even being a student mom (both times). So I honestly didn’t expect this test to be as hard as it was. Now for some, it’s not hard at all. But as a mom, working full time with a household to also take care of, this journey within itself was hard.

Finding the time and actually, the rhythm, needed to study was the hard part. Tack on learning new concepts and vocabulary…yeah! It’s not that learning was hard, it’s that I walked into this completely unaware of what was expected. Again, I am thinking SAT/ ACT. I was wrong.

Prep Books

The thing is, the last time I prepared for a standardized test, it was 2000. The world didn’t end, like many thought, you know Y2k and all, and we studied using the big fat test prep books. So naturally that’s was where I started.

Mistake #2: Assuming if it worked before, it would work again.

I knew I wanted to start with a tangible book but didn’t know which one. After reading reviews, I landed on “The Loophole” by Ellen Cassidy. This should not be your first book.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this was not a bad book at all and actually if I had read it later in my studies, it probably would have made more sense. The book is written with a tone as though you have a baseline of what the LSAT is. I did not. The pace of the book is also fast. I was not ready.

Being out of school for 20 years and having no reference point to the LSAT left me searching for answers to questions I did not know to even ask. I got through about 75% of the book before I said enough. I kept re-reading chapters because for some reason, they just were not landing. Now that could have been a mixture of blending life with a study schedule that I completely did not anticipate would be as intense as it was.

Side note- this was when I realized my study skills and attention timespan were trash, completely gone, finito! It blew my mind because I always enjoyed studying. Then it dawned on me. Social media. I had become so accustomed to the quick swipe, the change of views, the 20 second videos, etc. None the less, I recognized that this was a hurdle I needed to conquer. So bye-bye to social media!

Once I decided Loophole was not going to get me there, I went back to search for my next book. As again, I was focused on the old school way, my way, “Always the Queen’s Way”.

I digress.

Next I purchased the Powerscore Set by Barbri. The Logical Reasoning and Reading Comprehension. Both books were great and if you want to go the book route, start there. These books break the concepts down in a way that does not make you feel stupid, if I can be blunt. It made me wonder if there was an assumption amongst the author of these prep books, that the reader is fresh out of college or perhaps had a previous prep course. In other words, a starting foundation.

What I loved about Barbri was that they started from the based foundation of the test. The whys and hows and the who cares. For me that was such a help. I get you want to teach me something, but first, for me to learn it well, I need to know the why behind it. These books did a great job in pointing that out.

Online Test Prep Programs

Now while I finished those books, I still felt incomplete. I had taken the June test and my scores were just ok and I knew from practice that raising it was harder than I expected. So I decided to enter the 21^st century and try an online study format. I looked into both LSAT Demon and 7 Sage.

LSAT Demon had the best app experience for quick studying on the go. I really enjoyed their interface. Very easy to navigate but honestly, I couldn’t get over the name… that’s just the truth.

7 Sage had an entire prep system on their site. They offered a self-study path, a course, multiple tutoring options , live and recorded classes and more. To me they offered the Porsche package for LSAT prep.

Based on how you liked to learn, there were so many paths to choose from. What I also loved was once you opened an account, all of your progress was recorded and then used for customized suggestions on where you should focus and why. They break down the types of questions you will encounter, the levels and even offer practice test questions that you can personalize based on your needs.

At the time, coming after reading 2 ¾ books and with one official test under my belt, I selected the highest package that wasn’t the tutoring option. I had access to the full system including classes. It was great and honestly, more content and resources than I had time to consume. I completed the suggested study path (basically starting from the beginning and learning all of the concepts all over again) and greatly enjoyed my experience with this platform. I believe I paid $99 a month, definitely worth the money. More on cost break down later.

After completing 7 Sage, I took the October LSAT.

Prep Courses

After the October test, I still did not get the score I wanted. Better, but still not there yet.

At this point I had to accept that I needed more than self pace studying. I needed more structure and open dialogue. So I went in search of a prep course and boy were they everywhere!

I signed up for an official synchronized online class through Princeton Review. I honestly didn’t even consider a prep class as a serious option when I first started this journey. I genuinely thought I could self study for this test and do just fine. Hey, it worked for me in high school and college. I was wrong.

I knew I wanted a class that met in a synchronize manner so that I had the option to ask questions. Having read books and completed a self-study online course, I remember having questions in the moment and not feeling fully satisfied with the answers given.

The class I selected met Mondays and Wednesdays from 7-11pm for 4 weeks. I was NOT a fan of this time slot, but I didn’t want class on the weekend and knew this would be good practice for me to see what Law School would be like since I knew I would be applying to Online Hybrid programs. It definitely gave me a peek. In addition to live teaching, the class also included homework assignments and assigned prep test.

Mistake #3: Knowing my learning style, a prep course should have been my first step.

Suggested Steps for Applying to Law School

Ok if you made it this far, let me congratulate you as this is currently the longest post I have written thus far. But assuming some of you are considering a career in law and this is Substack, you probably love reading. Now let me sum up the path I took vs what I would do if I had to do it all over.

The Path I Took:

1. Made the decision to go to law school

2. Opened LSAC account

3. Purchased LoopeHole

4. Purchased Barbri Books

5. Took June LSAT

6. Started and completed 7 Sage program

7. Took October LSAT

8. Stopped studying because I thought I was done, I was wrong

9. Attended a Pre-Law 2 day conference

10. Attended a local law school open house

11. Took Princeton Review Class

12. Took February LSAT

13. Completed applications

14. Waited for emails while I held my breath

15. Accepted into Law School

What is not listed above, but very important, is that woven throughout every step, I was also preparing my application packets. This process alone is a lot and I fully underestimated it. While I expected each school to have different essays request, I also expected the rest of the application to be standard amongst the schools. It wasn’t. Not to mention every school has various due dates and even early decision dates. Splitting my focus between studying, applications, work and kids, was way more than I ever expected going into the prep journey.

Here is the path I would take if I could do it over:

1. Decide to go to law school

2. Sign up for LSAC account

3. Apply to guided program

4. Sign up for a prep course that is 6 months minimum.

5. Self Study and strengthen the areas I am still weak

6. Take the LSAT

7. Study More

8. Take the LSAT again (learned from LSAC that schools like to see more than one attempt)

9. Begin preparing, gathering my applications materials. This may take time with essays, letters of recommendation and transcript request

10. Attend Open Houses

11. Submit Applications

In other words, section off the journey. I would not recommend you do it all at once. Now, again, this is coming from a Mom of 4 with a full time job. If I was coming straight out of college and all I had was this test and the applications to focus on, then yes, this could be done simultaneously. If not, section it off.

Months 1-12 test prep and testing only

Months 13-15 Application prep

Month 16+ complete and submit applications

After you complete your applications, you wait… and wait… and wait. Now since I completed mine in March, I did not have to wait as long since most application deadlines were quickly approaching. Now again, this was not the original plan but, C’est la vie!

You will be notified by email from the schools you apply to as well as on the LSAC site where you can check your application status. I learned about my acceptance through email.

Last but not Least, The Cost

To me, this is the most non-discussed topic of the whole process. Listen clearly, pursuing the thought of becoming a lawyer will cost you money. Period.

· LawHub Advantage $120/yr (Gives you access to old LSAT test to practice on)

· CAS Subscription: $215 (Packages all pieces of your application and sends them to the schools. It’s required)

· CAS Report Fee: $45 per application

· LSAT Test: $248 per test

· School Application Fee: $0-$100

· Prep Books: $45+

· Prep Courses: $500+

· Private Tutor $250/hr

· Online Prep Programs: Varies, most have a free option as well

Well that’s it, you’ve made it to the end! But all jokes aside, I remember searching for articles about the process when I first started. I actually learned about 7 Sage through a blog post. So hoping this post helps just one person in their journey.

Until next time, Respect the LSAT!

If you can relate to this article or enjoyed the transparency behind it, you can support my work with a coffee or annual subscription. It helps me keep the caffeine stocked and the thoughts flowing freely.

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Welcome back to my Discovery Series, where I am using the next 3 months (time is passing so quickly) to get my house and mind ready to be a 42 yr old part time law student as a divorced mom of 4 with a full time job.

And it happened. The sight of that garage got the best of me. But honestly, how could I possibly make all of these adjustments and plans to be as prepared for the fall as possible and yet be ok with a garage that should be on Storage Wars? Not to mention I needed a real way to reach the deep freezer (to store all the prep meals I will be making) that didn’t require stubbing my toe every time I walked in there.

As a reminder here is a glimpse of what I mean, my lovely headache:

As much as I tried to avoid it, the garage was inevitable. It had to get cleaned. Almost like the saying a clutter workspace makes for a cluttered mind, or something to that effect. Seeing as how prepping my life and mind for the start of law school means my home and well, yes, my mind, are essentially my workspace…. It needed to get “uncluttered”.

And to be honest, I am pretty proud of myself. Not only did the kids and I get 70% of it cleaned, we did it on a Thursday after work, school, band practice, and an afternoon play date (you know, just a normal Thursday in the house).

I would say I am also proud that strategically this was done the day before trash pick-up. Now I don’t have a pile of things “to get rid of” just sitting in the middle of my garage. Which honestly, I think, is how I even got here. A once upon a time attempt to clean the garage that was paused for some reason or another and remained that way for months.

Fuel the caffeine behind the chaos

None the less, we did it and I feel a tad more optimistic and empowered to actually tackle the behemoth mountain that is my meal planning list.

A couple of things I learned while cleaning out months of procrastination and good intentions…

1. Traci you were starting to turn into a hoarder. I’ve realized that sometimes I can be so over analytical or forward thinking that it causes me to hold onto things for the “possibility” that I might need it in the future. There could also be a bit of frugality in that as well, why pay for something I already owned a few years ago… if I would have just saved it then... But that is a rabbit hole we will not go down right now.

2. It’s clearly time to bring back photo albums. For one, let me start by admitting I am not the mom who remembers to buy all the school photos, which by the way are the taking pictures like 4-5 times a year now. I’m sorry, but why do we need a beginning of school, fall, spring and end of the year picture. Literally only one makes it into the yearbook (wait did I even order the yearbook this year? ..Crap!!). Non the less, even with me not ordering all of them, I have a nice collection of photos just sitting in a pile collecting dust. So, I am will on the lookout for an old school 1990s photo album, even better if I can find it at a thrift store.

3. If you haven’t used it, looked for it, played with it or worn it in the last 5-6 months annnnnd it’s been sitting here in this garage, no child of mine you cannot take it back into the house. Being that it’s in the garage, its’s halfway out the house as it is, let’s finish the journey and take it to the curb for trash day. It’s so amazing how kids find so much joy in playing with something they have ignored or forgotten about for months, all because it’s about to be discarded. What I should have done, was boxed it up and wrapped it for Christmas this year. Surprise, remember how much you loved this during the garage clean up, now you have it again. Enjoy!!

Check out Beyond the Post, available to all subscribers this week, as I share the thoughts behind the garage clean up that did not make the post!

So there it is, the garage is clean and a small portion of my brain is now decluttered and waiting its new task to fill it right back up again. And for those still reading, here is the after picture. Not perfect, but so so much better than before. I can actually walk in here now!!!!

Until next time,

Happy Cleaning !!

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