This morning we decided that - in spite of rain to the west - we’d make the drive over to the Mississippi River at Alton, aka one of my favorite places to go birding. My partner and spotter was optimistic that the humidity and heat would give us a few hours respite (spoiler alert: there was no respite!). We haven’t visited this spot for nearly a month and I was really hoping for some shore birds.

But before I get to the day’s birds… one exciting bit of news. I will have three of my photographs in the winter issue of Cut + Paste Magazine. Like… IN PRINT!!!! More to come and I cannot wait to share them with you :)

Subscribe now

OK… back to birding. We loaded into the car with water and cameras. As we arrived to the sanctuary, my partner started driving slowly so I could watch the shorelines for signs of movement. I really wanted to see a Semipalmated Sandpiper that has been spotted recently. But alas, the water levels were high and aside from the occasional Killdeer, there was not a shorebird to be found.

It was also getting really hot, really fast. I started to get pessimistic - some birds are less active in the heat of the day, even when the heat of the day starts early. But the herons were here and there along the shorelines looking for a meal. And the resident clan of Double-Crested Cormorants were out and about.

Then something large flew past. I locked in the tracking auto-focus and thought it was a juvenile Bald Eagle. Once I was home, I realized it was actually an Osprey!! My first one in this area - so it didn’t even cross my mind. And once I started looking at my photos - I realized I captured it carrying - and then dropping - a snack. All the sudden a “meh” day of birding felt a lot more exciting as I edited my images!

I hope you have a great week! For everyone impacted by wildfires - be safe!! Next week I may have a bit of painting to share alongside the birds… I’m quite enjoying the Neocolor II pastels I recently splurged on.

It’s nearly 8:00 on Saturday morning as I start to draft this. The simple fact that I am already awake and well caffeinated displeases me deeply. See, I am not - nor have I ever been - a morning person. Even growing up on a dairy farm didn’t make me a morning person, which was challenging since the cows demanded early mornings. And sleeping in on a rainy Saturday morning is part of my DNA.

Or at least it was. I had one of those milestone birthdays recently and ever since I think my circadian rhythm and sleep schedule broke and the warrantee has apparently expired. This is a problem because I really, really need sleep to function as a human being. Could chronic stress and my anxiety also be to blame… sure (waves hands frantically at the world), that’s also possible.

Subscribe now

But every challenge has a silver lining someplace (allegedly), and for this one it’s that I apparently now have time for a morning routine. This is - for me - an incredibly foreign concept. And it bleeds into my weekends. Normally, if I am awake at 5 AM it’s because trade offs have been made. A flight to catch, a hike to enjoy, birds. OK, mostly birds and my trusty camera. Not because I “just” woke up and decided it was time to start the coffee pot.

I had been holding out hope that I would go back to my normal, slow to rise, sleeping in way of life, but this “early bird” thing has lasted long enough that I need to acknowledge it might be here to stay. I’m starting with baby steps. On mornings I’m working from home, I now will sit and enjoy my first cup of coffee before opening my work computer to start the Day Job. Not as I start emails or log into my first meeting of the day. I just sit there - sometimes even on the sofa with no smartphone in reach - and enjoy the cup of coffee.

Maybe I could get used to this…

This morning I watched the birds dart around in the rain and chatted with my husband (till the Tour de France coverage started… then he needed to focus) while enjoying my coffee. I googled “Morning Pages” - maybe that was something I could do with this newfound time. I generally write in the evening and if I get around to it fatigue is real and my executive functioning skills are depleted. It’s not ideal. But this idea that I could just write a few pages simply for the sake of writing… this I can get behind. First thing in the morning when your brain is also preparing for the day - that seems… logical. And then maybe even write something on Substack for all of you, or doddle a bit in my sketchbook. Wait, who is this person?!?!?

Remind me to let you know how this goes! I’m starting to believe there really is something magical to that liminal bit of time when the house is still quiet, where the light rainfall and birdsong are the loudest things you hear (or maybe horn honks and street noise is your background track), and ones ability to resist looking at a screen is actually quite high.

Since there’s a comment section and someone will ask, I am also working with my health care provider to see if there is something not good that’s impacting my sleep. And I am making real effort to wind down and get to sleep earlier - because it’s not like I somehow need LESS sleep!

But for now I’m choosing to embrace the experiment. On one hand, I’m not sure I have a lot of choice here. But on the other, the idea of “new” time that I can use deliberately - even if it’s to deliberately do nothing - that’s rare and exciting. So this time I think I’ll fight the urge to create some sort of elaborate morning ritual that would probably not be sustainable anyway. Instead, add one thing at a time, slowly, deliberately. And rest assured that coffee on the deck with my camera and the birds will most certainly be on the menu!

So far, this weekend hasn’t been any different, other than the lead up was dangerously hot. I’m not sure who coined the term “heat dome,” but I don’t like them. Yesterday afternoon, a line of storms came through and we are mercifully cooler today. Which means I was able to FINALLY enjoy my coffee on the deck with the camera for the first time in a week. I had been missing time with my camera, but had been equally missing a reason to enjoy some quiet time with my thoughts and birdsong.

Subscribe now

I had high expectations that an hour or so on the deck would lead to an lightbulb moment and I’d come back inside knowing exactly what to write this weekend. After all, it’s where most of my good ideas (and plenty of questionable ones) are hatched. But this morning the birds were active and no bright ideas were percolating through as my coffee kicked in.

OH… I do have to share that last week I had a photo essay published in , check it out!! The images are from Mayan archeological sites and were taken on a trip to southeastern Mexico last fall.

The Alchemist's Cabin

Whispers and Echos

Read more

2 months ago · 36 likes · 4 comments · Kara

My Mom joined me on the deck with her own steaming cup of coffee. Of course, SHE’LL have a good idea. Nope. If you are new around here, my aging mom moved in with us about a year ago. It’s been an adjustment, but sharing our morning coffee on the deck has become a real joy.

Meanwhile, my husband is nestled in front of the TV, where he will be for most the next month as the Tour de France (TDF) unfolds. Each July I become a TDF widow and our birding hikes become fewer and farther apart till the TDF is over. The cats - unsurprisingly - were equally unhelpful.

Then it started to click. For most of my life July and August have been some version of all hands on deck with more work to be done than daylight to do it. For the first 20-25 years of my life July and August were a special mix of field work and show cattle season. Growing up on a dairy farm that showed cattle competitively (think Best of Show, but with cows and you are not too far off), I was either traveling with our show cattle, taking care of them at home, or doing the 537 other farm chores that pile up in the summer. If you’d like a detour into what it was like growing up showing cattle… let me know, that could be a fun story to write. After that, my Day Job was for many years deeply connected to the North American growing season - so equally busy summers, but with better insurance.

The past five or six years that has changed. July and August have somehow become quieter months on my calendar. Travel for the Day Job goes down, it’s too hot to do a lot outdoors, and I finally feel like I have time to catch my breath before fall gets busy. The flip side - I’ve also had to learn how to “enjoy” summer. That is not a life skill I’d ever bothered to learn, yet here we are.

And then, the realization that something I’ve been working on the past year or two is actually… working. Carving out time to write, photograph, occasionally paint, and otherwise just create has been a project. And spending a July morning on the deck enjoying the birds without a care as to how much time has passed means it really is working. Over the past year I’ve actually developed a creative practice. It has not been easy, I benefited from a lot of help, support, and privilege. When life got really busy, I managed to double down and stick with it. And now my engrained habits are telling me it’s summer, you are SUPPOSED to be busy with work things, what the heck are you editing photos for? I’ve finally taught myself to edit the photos anyway.

This morning with my second cup of coffee, I’m wondering if this also explains why I’m a bit lacking in the inspiration/motivation department of late. Am I not leaving the subconscious headspace for ideas to ruminate? Of course, it could just be the unearthly, awful heat wave. And I also picked the past few weeks for an excellent bout of insomnia. But let’s stick with Option A, shall we?

The light bulb for me today is twofold. First, I’ve made space for my creative practice year round and that should be embraced without guilt. And secondly, to state the obvious, not every day is sunshine and roses - even in the summer.

For most of my life I equated not being busy with laziness and self care as an unnecessary indulgence. That is of course not true. Being still is actually one of the hardest and most important things a person can do. It’s also nearly impossible for most species or hummingbirds and warblers, but I digress. I didn’t see the point in doing something “just for fun” - now I get it. I won’t say how many decades that has taken (is still taking). When I’m creating regularly, I notice more details, I’m more present to be around (allegedly), I feel lighter, I slow down, and can let my mind wander to think creatively. And hopefully to find next week’s newsletter topic in the process.

But while this weekend is relaxed and quiet, last weekend was anything but. My husband has been training for months to participate in a charity bike ride in Lake Tahoe and last Sunday was the big day! He had a good race and was very happy with his time and how he felt. The weather was perfect for the event.

Subscribe now

Saturday my hubby wanted to scout the course, which meant one very big loop driving around Late Tahoe. I quickly checked where we might be able to get in some birding and recommended a few stops for our trip. Because scheduling is hard… we ended up birding in the late morning through mid-afternoon. Not the best time of day to expand my Life List, but it’s what we had to work with. And my husband’s request that we don’t visit any longer trails or ones with a lot of elevation - to be fair he did have a bike ride the next morning.

We visited spots on both the California and the Nevada sides of the lake. Aside from too many people (my gripe about most touristy locations), the views were stunning. It was a touch windy, highs in the 60’s F, and my camera was ready.

It felt good to make a few stops and stretch our legs. I saw a few of the species I was really hoping for. I even saw my first Mountain Chickadee - although was 0 for 2 on attempts to photograph one! At our last stop I was finally able to see my first Osprey of the year. No matter where I come across one, they are stunning, majestic, gigantic birds.

It was a welcome escape to get away and explore a new place together and I almost got my husband to fall into the lake at one point. Sunday I spent a lot of time tracking his dot on the Find my Friends app as he completed his ride. Then some good local beers and pizza with most of his cycling group as they compared stories from their rides that day and lamented what would hurt the most in the morning. Monday morning we were up early and off to the airport, home, and reality.

All in all a fun weekend and a great quick getaway. And there were birds, because of course there were.

The past month has had me playing catchup from a flurry of travel and more trouble then I’d like to admit getting back into a routine. It feels like everything woke up all at once this spring - and suddenly my to do list had ballooned to the length of a small novella.

Subscribe now

A bright spot has - no big surprise - been the enjoyment of sitting out on the deck with a morning cup of coffee or afternoon chilled beverage with the camera and the birds. Sometimes on my own, sometimes with my hubby or Mom joining me for a side of conversation.

Birding from my deck has some serious advantages. I know the tree-line well and have figured out what spots are likely interest a warbler on it’s spring migration or where to watch for the small army of Ruby-throated Hummingbirds that make the backyard home each summer to the elusive flycatchers that once in awhile visit a particular set of brambles next to our property line.

I also can’t overstate how excellent the commute is. A solid 30 seconds from the couch to grab my camera and settle into my favorite deck chair. Can’t beat that! But last weekend I was also reminded that the deck is about 5,000 miles from whatever the stresses of the day happened to be.

Last Friday I had one of those no good, terrible days. Nothing went quite right, work was a lot, I was tired and it all got to me. About 3:30 in the afternoon I’d had enough. My anxiety was somewhere between “bad” and “you might want to get that checked out” and it was very clear that there was no more productivity to be had for the afternoon. I closed my computer, grabbed the camera, and retreated to the deck.

I’m convinced the birds know when it’s been a not great day and sometimes take pity on me. When I’m feeling the crudiest or most anxious is often when I see a new species or infrequent visitor. That Friday the birdsong felt amplified and the air was cool but comfortable.

I started to notice the birds. A chickadee whose call is far louder than I expect from a tiny little body. My heart rate started to slow, my breaths began to deepen. Wait… what is flittering up there? A viro? Actually… TWO!!! I sensed my shoulders have lowered and felt tension ease from clenching my jaw. My mom joined me and we chatted about the variety of greens that could be seen from tree to tree. A heron flew overhead. My outlook and attitude and energy levels shifted.

I saw 32 species from the deck that afternoon and all of today’s photos are from that very day. But, that wasn’t what mattered. Not that day. I was able to set aside all of the noise and the things, step out on the deck, and hit a metaphorical reset button. There is no screen, no movie, no app that could have done what a few hours with the birds and the camera did for my wellbeing. I was a better person the entire weekend for it! And I realized a version of this happens every time I sit on the deck. Sometimes the shift is subtle, imperceptible even. Others it smacks me across the face. Both are important - so go outside!

I am writing today from Melbourne, Australia. Today is the one fully free day that I’ve had during this business trip. I had scouted two or three locations for city birding not far from my hotel. I was (and still am) keen to capture one of the obnoxiously loud yet stunningly beautiful Sulphur Crested Cockatoos that are commonly found here with the camera. Instead I woke to the pitter patter of rain on the hotel room window and the radar showing much more to come. I am not a fan of being out in the rain. Not one to venture out birding - especially with my camera - when moisture is falling from the sky. But the rain was much needed here, so I couldn’t be that annoyed with the pesky precipitation.

Subscribe now

The hotel room features a Nespresso machine, so I made myself a cup and crawled back under the warm and very fluffy blanket. My plans scrapped, I let my mind wander while enjoying the coffee. And felt a bit of relief. Relief!?!?! My birding plans were dashed and I was looking at spending my free day stuck inside. Why relief?

Another hour or two passed and it finally began to click. My body and mind have been running nonstop. I tend not to allow myself a break when traveling. I might never get back to this city/country/interesting place so try to not only do all of the work things, but also as much more as I possibly can. Try the food, experiences the culture, see as much of the flora and fauna as possible. I brought the camera, so I must use my free time to get out and photograph, how else do I justify that I packed my telephoto lens? Add the unique bird species here in Australia… I need to see as many of them as I possibly can!

This morning Mother Nature stepped in and made the decision for me. There would be no exploring Melbourne's streets and parks this morning. By all accounts I should be disappointed, yet this odd feeling of relief lasted well past that first - and second - cup of coffee. The pressure to do all of the things evaporated like a rain fed puddle on the city street.

Between showers, I made my way to a cafe down the block for a sandwich and another cup of coffee. Watched the city rush by outside the cafe window as I enjoyed my flat white. Starting to think about what I HAD done over the past few weeks rather than everything that remained on my list. Reflected on the amazing things I get to do. Just over a week ago I was sitting on a train in Switzerland (as one does) and started scribbling a poem - My Grandmother’s Dream. As in… I am the living embodiment of her hopes and dreams. At that moment I was feeling wholly overwhelmed, my Oura ring said my physiological stress was high despite the picturesque Swiss farms passing by. I pulled out my notebook in a fleeting attempt to ground myself and replace the stress with gratitude. At the time it didn’t really work because I was far too preoccupied with what was left undone to enjoy the moment.

This morning I turned back to that page, edited liberally, and finished the poem. It wasn’t the change in location that made the difference. I was finally present. In the moment. The nagging voice of anxiety had quieted and I was content having no plans, nowhere to go, and no schedule for the day. I could feel that deep ache in my muscles that comes from the special blend of air travel, tension, and hyper-focus on one’s to do list. Without really realizing it, this post started to spill onto my iPad keyboard. The alchemy of a rainy day, cozy coffee, a blanket, and a good playlist. I was excited to edit some photos taken over the past few weeks and reflect on my recent adventures.

The rain has stopped, there might be more showers later. I could get out with the camera for a few hours after all. Maybe. I am quite enjoying photo editing and writing. I don’t have to go birding this afternoon. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. In the meantime there are photos to edit, a playlist to enjoy, and writing to savor. And that is a perfectly fine thing to do on a dreary Sunday

!

Yesterday, I was thinking this post would be all about the birds. But as I sat with my morning coffee the words were just not there. Instead, I alternated between gazing at the trees in my backyard wondering what warblers will soon start visiting on their spring migration and staring into my coffee wondering why this past week has felt TOUGH.

Subscribe now

So now it’s Sunday morning, there is a freshly brewed coffee in that mug, and I am pondering the same question… why am I struggling to get back into my routine after this trip? Jet lag… sure, that answer works for a day or two. But there is more to it. It dawned on me this morning that perhaps my routine needs a bit of a spring cleaning. After all, it is the season for that. Right?

Just thinking about my creative practice, how I want to spend me weekend time, and caring for myself and my family, I realize there are the things I feel I have to do, the things I enjoy, and of course all the new ideas and projects that I immediately feel guilty that I don’t have adequate time and energy to invest in. And a constant undertow that regardless what I prioritize or how I spend my time - it’s never enough.

Perhaps because I am a born and raised farm kid, I think about the cycles of the seasons on the regular. And nowhere is that more true than my birding and my photography. But it goes deeper than that. Winter is a time to rest, to think, to plan. The days are short and the nights are long.

Then suddenly it’s spring! The time for planning wains and action and activity are everywhere. Like many, I shook off the winter cobwebs with a travel filled holiday. When I left home the view from my deck was pretty drab, just a few early buds on a few bushes. Now, the lush greens and bright spring flowers abound (so does their pollen… stupid allergies). So perhaps I should not be so surprised that I want to do all of the things and also sometimes feel like doing absolutely nothing. I shouldn’t be surprised that just maybe the exercise of stepping back and actually thinking about how I spend my time might be warranted.

Now, don’t let me fool you into thinking I have ANY of the answers figured out! I most certainly do not. Heck, I’m not even sure I am asking the right questions. But I can share how I plan to spend some of my afternoon - if for no other reason than self accountability. Maybe I am not the only one that needs a bit of personal spring cleaning - I’d love to know if any of this resonates with others.

• What are the 2-3 creative projects that I really want to explore this spring and ensure I am making time for. I can still dabble and get distracted and have my side quests. But if I can be clear on a few top goals RIGHT NOW, that can go a long way to mitigating the guilt that I don’t have time for everything.

• For several years I have participated in ’s annual list project. This year is “26 for 26” - 26 things I want to do in 2026 - they can be big or small, easy or scary. I need to check my progress, recalibrate where I am off track, and reevaluate anything that no longer feels like it will bring me joy or peace. And maybe, just maybe, there are a few that I can cross off and declare successfully completed!

• I also want to revisit my “Ideal Week.” To give credit, this is an idea from writer Michael Hyatt that really resonated with me. Basically, what you schedule gets done, so if I were queen for the week and could fully control my time - how would I spend it. When I first started playing with this concept, I focused on the hours of the week spent at the Day Job. When did I want to be focused on heads down, deep thinking type work (hint… afternoons in 2-3 hour blocks is my happy place) vs meetings vs administrative type activities. Once I started thinking about my personal time and mapping how I’d ideally spend THOSE parts on my day - I got a lot better at creating and keeping space and routines for my art and photography and myself.

Fear not, this Substack isn’t going anywhere. If anything, I want to be sure I am protecting the time I need to not only write it, but capture good photography to share along the way. But I also want to ensure that I can sit with my morning coffee on a sunny Sunday and tell the guilt that “I have soooo much I need to do” to politely go f*ck itself. And remind myself that time birding or doodling or thinking or writing is indeed time well spent.

Subscribe now

But the focus of this trip was not birds, it was the beauty of Barcelona, Valencia, and the coast in between, followed by a few days in Lisbon and the surrounding area on the Atlantic coast in Portugal. And cities mean architecture and street art - two things I don’t practice photographing very often.

And people. I don’t like photographing people. Never been interested in portraits and I struggle with photographing strangers. It just feels weird to me. Thankfully one of the first days out I practiced some hand held “long” exposure (like… 1/2 a second) with the camera that blur people walking enough that you know it’s a person, but they aren’t identifiable. Sounds simple in hindsight, but something I had never done before this trip.

I even dusted off my old, not so great tripod for photographing at sunset and blue hour. Sunrise was not happening with this group and that was just fine with me. I like my sleep.

The architecture is stunning - the Sagrada Família will certainly get its own post, as will other pieces of Gaudi architecture - and the history is beyond anything we have in the States. With a bit of time, trial, and error, I started to get the hang of when to zoom in on the details and when to use a wide lens to capture a facade or street scene. And also some processing tricks to make them look better once they are out of the camera - that alone made the trip worth it!

Oh… and the food. The food was excellent. We of course had paella - which might be the national dish. And lots of cured hams and cheeses. And gelato, there is nothing better than rich, creamy chocolate gelato. It was probably good that we walked a lot!!

March has been filled with excitement and change. Despite the reality that most news is horrid right now, I must have been doing something right because the past few weeks have been incredible and busy and hectic. But… wait for it… it’s all good news in my little corner of the world! The Year of the Fire Horse has exceeded expectations so far.

Subscribe now

What is this good news, you ask? Well…

I got promoted at the Day Job!!

first photo essay was accepted for publication (more to come!!!)

The non-profit I serve on the board for had a successful and fun gala for Keyway Center for Diversion and Reentry in St. Louis. This from a gal that does not like to do fancy dress up and had to speak on stage! In one evening (and with a fantastic staff that spent months planning) we raised OVER $300,000 for underserved women in our region!

And… I am writing from Andorra today. We’re spending a few days here before meeting up with and friends in Barcelona for a photo tour in Spain and Portugal.

Oh… and birds. Were there birds? Yes! I was able to sneak in a few birding trips before we left and saw my first Northern Harrier at our go to local birding spot. The bird was patient with me while I practiced some panning shots as he flew low across the meadow looking for lunch. I did lean that my tracking auto-focus button is not compatible with long fingernails (see gala mentioned above), so I didn’t have many keepers - but it was a beautiful bird to watch.

Yesterday we did a bit of hiking here in Andorra. It feels a bit like cheating when a birder visits a new region - almost every species we saw was a new lifer for me! My first Eurasian Blue tit and Eurasian Robin were amongst the list - not rare birds by any means, but new to me!

I’ll share an update form Spain next weekend and then I hope things will fall back into their normal rhythm once we’re home. My goal this week is to relax and play with street photography - not my norm even though I really enjoy the work of many great street photographers here on Substack.

One of the joys of birding for the first time in a new place is that one is guaranteed to get new “lifers.” And I think there may be a midweek post sharing some of mine - 16 new species joined my life list on this trip!!!

Subscribe now

I set my sights on Seattle’s Discovery Park. It was a hotspot on eBird and is situated on a peninsula that jets out into the Puget Sound - so was feeling good about seeing some waterbirds. I looked at the trail maps and decided on a route. I could have an Uber drop me at the far point of the park, hike about 3 miles through a mix of habitats, and end up in a spot where I should easily be able to get an Uber back.

I made one serious error… I forget that there are hills in this part of the world. But more on that later. My Uber arrived at the hotel and I had a great, chatty driver from Ethiopia. We talked about the Super Bowl parade the day before (congrats Seahawks Nation), and he asked what I had planned for the day. I told him I was a hobby photographer who loves birds and wanted to get some hiking in.

Then he asked it. The question I didn’t have an answer for. “Why do you take photos?” He was genuinely interested. I said something about capturing the beauty of nature. He pushed… “why?” After all, I checked a bag so I could bring my camera. He asked if I made prints or had one of those fancy electronic frames that scrolled through photos (I should get one of those).

So for the rest of the weekend that question rattled around my brain. I photographed mountains and fishermen and moss covered trees. And when I realized that my entire hike would be uphill… including 10+ flights of stairs (I HATE STAIRS)… I really started to think hard about what I was doing out in the middle of a misty park by myself with 20ish pounds of gear. Why?

This is where I would love to say that after climbing the last extra long stretch of stairs that the clouds parted, the sun shone, an eagle flew past and the answer found me. In fact, none of those things happened. Except the extra long set of stairs - that was very real!

I take photos because I love to take photos. That’s it. And that’s enough.

Photography is my canvas and light is my brush. I have to slow down and notice details. Look for subtleties I would normally pass by. My camera gives me a reason to get outside and walk/hike/occasionally fall. There is something almost meditative for me when I am behind the lens - I can’t focus on all the external noise or let my anxiety run wild when I am framing an image or trying to catch a fast, flittering Kinglet while also not turning an ankle.

I also enjoy editing images - there is an “art meets science” aspect of photo editing that makes my inner nerd happy. And I can find that same, meditative like state when I’m editing - even with the Olympics on in the background. And of course there is a joy to sharing some of these images with you, especially when someone connects with a photo and takes the time to tell you so.

Fellow photographers, why do you take photos?

But that was not to be. What a difference a few weeks make! Ok… maybe a few weeks combined with said husband getting a different type of suet for our feeders that the Pileated’s are supposed to like. But… drum roll… we have a bonafide new bird friend at the deck!!

Subscribe now

Last week I’m sitting inside at the computer and watching the birds at the feeder. I looked, looked agin, and then quite possibly stained my pants. There on the railing stood a beautiful, inquisitive Pileated Woodpecker. Like… 10 feet from me.

Thankfully the camera had not been put away since we went birding last weekend so I eagerly got a few photos. And then she came back, again and again. We see her - and it has always been a female - visiting the suet feeder almost every day now. I know it won’t last as winter turns to spring and food sources become more prevalent. But I will be enjoying every visit till then!! The new suet is also keeping her in the trees near the house - which has made for some fun photography.

Today I traveled for work (more on where next weekend - some birding is also planned). I had a few hours to think on the flight. Having forgotten my headphones, I really had to sit with my thoughts rather than escape into a few podcast episodes like I usually do. I got to thinking about how often it’s when I STOP chasing something that’s when the something effortlessly shows up in my life.

These Pileated Woodpeckers are the perfect example. I got the image and had started thinking about the next birds on my list. But nope, the universe has decided I am not done with this one just yet. And for that I am glad.

Or my writing practice. It’s almost maybe become a habit now, but only once I gave myself permission to just write. I thought there was a specific piece I needed to craft and the words were just not there. Once I let myself stop thinking and just write… I found some poetry, and this Substack, and words that were only for me. And finally that essay is coming together, too. For that I am also glad.

Yesterday I woke with a lazy plan for the weekend snowpocalypse. Reading and writing and cats and coffee and some time with the camera. Uff-da. That concept of a relaxing, disconnected weekend evaporated in gunfire on a Minneapolis street. Thankfully, my camera has been a counterweight and the place I can disappear in to focus for a bit. All of today’s images are from this weekend’s storm.

Many have written more eloquently than me about the murder of Alex Pretti at the hands of federal agents. I saw it, you probably have too. And make no mistake, things were far from OK before Alex was shot. But what happened yesterday was another gut punch. It turns out Alex grew up less than 30 minutes from where I did. I’ve played in his high school gym, the very space where he likely sang as a student just a few years later.

Subscribe now

Uff-da. If you know this word you’re likely from Wisconsin, Minnesota, or North Dakota. Or Scandinavian. I understand it to be one of those words that is still used in Norway on occasion - but that Norwegian (and other Scandinavian) immigrants to the upper Midwest made it their own. It means something like “oh crap” or “this is not good” without needing to curse. It’s often said with a sigh… something akin to “yea, this is gonna be hard, but we’re hardier”. I said uff-da a lot yesterday.

I’ve always heard an undercurrent of resilience when someone mutters uff-da. Something the rest of the world is learning about the upper Midwest right now - especially Minnesota. I grew up across the river in Wisconsin. Much of my family is in the Twin Cities and I spent several great years there. So when I need to separate myself from the horror of the moment, my worries and fears - I think about the resilience of communities that actually live the ideal that we care for our neighbors - ALL of them. After all… Minnesota winters are brutal and best survived together.

As the daughter of dairy farmers, I learned young that when a neighbor needs help you show up. It doesn’t really matter what’s going on, how busy you were, or how many cows were in your barn. When a neighbor was hit with a barn fire, everyone showed up with trailers and took the cattle they could. No questions, no “will I get reimbursed”, no excuses. You showed up, you temporarily made your life harder to ease another’s burden. No matter how many uff-da’s are uttered. Oh, and you show up whether it’s 50F or -50F.

Back to the birds… this is a photography post after all. Our songbirds are showing that same resilience this weekend. Outside the feeder is constantly busy. I watch the fluffy little juncos and our bright Cardinals lean into the wind - their headwinds are more literal than mine today, but they are just as resilient. And somehow the cold has a bit less bite when the birds are flocked together.

My decision to photograph most of these through the window rather than bundle up and head outside had me uttering uff-da more than once. There were a few challenges with focus, understandably. But I was also able to just enjoy watching their behaviors and managed to get some nice photos in the process. I hope they lift you up with a bit of joy as they have lifted me this weekend.

As we prepare for the week ahead I’d like to ask two things of you. Find the moments of good, of beauty, of joy. Then pause and take them in. Not to hide from the hard stuff, do it because of the hard stuff. I’ve seen photos of Alex Pretti hiking, so I’d like to think on a cold day he would have enjoyed the sight of a bright fluffy bird silhouetted against the snow.

And the deck. I’ve spent more afternoons that I expected on the deck, camera in hand. Hy hubby got me a heated chair, which is quite possibly the best invention of all time. And I’ve needed time to just be - and to think. Or not think at all. And the winter birds are so darn cute and fluffy.

But we are not talking songbirds today, friends. Instead, I am happy to share that between returning to the Day Job and the general dumpster fire that is 2026 I’ve managed two BIG backyard birding bucket list items. I slayed two of my nemesis - metaphorically of course!

Subscribe now

I finally saw and photographed a Brown Creeper. Stop laughing, that is a legit bird species name 🤣 And then yesterday the unimaginable. I photographed one of our elusive Pileated Woodpeckers.

Let’s start with “Pete,” the generic name for the 2+ Pilieated Woodpeckers that we know live in the woods behind us. How do we know? We hear them. Constantly. And they are LOUD. They are also quite large, often 1.5 feet (40+ cm) long. Yet I have only caught a few fleeting glimpses. Always far back in the tress. Usually in flight.

Over the past year I started to take this personally. Pete was not photogenic. Fine. But one time could I get an OK photo? I keep two birds lists. My Life List (of course) and then the “Species Seen but Not Photographed” list. That second list is mercifully short, only about 15 species. And it really ticked me off that the Pileated Woodpecker stared at me from the top of that list.

Until yesterday. Midday and I am working from home in the breakfast nook. It’s a good spot to get some sunlight, it’s quiet, and I can look out to see my bird friends. I was deep into a project when my husband exclaimed “PETE!! and he briskly walked to the other room to grab my camera for me. I had to decide - do I try to get the photograph through the window or do I dare open the door, step on the deck, and risk spooking it. I was in socks and just wearing a tee shirt and it was COLD, so through the window won it was. Thank goodness our windows were cleaned recently!

Karma smiled and I was able to get a few nice images. There were some branches in between me and the bird, which was frustrating - especially once I started to edit some of the photos. But after trying to get this image for over a year, I’m quite happy!

But wait, there is more. I’ve been hearing Brown Creepers since late fall and have been unable to spot one. Unlike the Pileated Woodpecker that is big with a flashy red Mohawk, the Brown Creeper is a tiny bird whose colorings camouflage almost perfectly with a bare tree’s trunk. They move fast and hop (or creep) up the tree as they look for food. Small. Brown. Fast. Good luck finding THAT.

My personal rule is that a bird only goes on my life list if I see it. I don’t need a great look, but I need to see it. So I was a woman on her deck with a mission this winter. I noticed some movement, a branch? No! A Brown Creeper! I snapped photos as fast as I could.

And the wild part is I have seen two more since!!! Again, Karma. Or that I finally understood what to be looking for. I am not so secretly hoping that this will be the case with our Pileated Woodpecker too.

But alas, with every win comes that nagging question… so what’s next? My answer… I have no fricking clue. I am goal motivated, so I do want to pick out one or two new “white whales” to chase. Perhaps I’ll have some thoughts to share on that next weekend.

I 10/10 recommend winter birding. And warm shoes.

I promised to start including some of my non-photography. Let’s end with some art doodles, shall we?

I had thought to get out on the deck this morning with the camera. But my neck wasn’t going to allow for that. My hubby - the guy that doesn’t really like birding yet is always tagging along - ordered us a pair of heated bucket chairs. We gave then a test sit yesterday and I’m certain that having a warm backside will, in fact, mean more winter photography from the deck. Fingers crossed I might be able to get out this afternoon/evening (UPDATE: that didn’t happen). There have to be at least 25 Eurasian Tree Sparrows and a few cardinals looking quite puffy through the window.

Subscribe now

Over the holidays we passed the 100 subscriber mark! EEEEKKKK!!!! When I started this project I had no expectations who may come along, but here you are and I am grateful for you. Now that we’re growing, I put some thought into what I want to be sharing here and how often. While I still view this as first and foremost a personal project/experiment - I of course care what you think and welcome any thoughts on what I have in mind.

The plan is to have a fresh Dispatch From the Deck for you sometime each weekend. It might be Saturday, it might be Sunday. But there will be birds, recent travel, and/or whatever I’ve been photographing lately. Along with the associated musings and reflections you’ve come to expect - the deck is my favorite place to think, after all. I am also hoping to add to the end a piece of non photography art that I am working on, be it drawing, poetry, or who knows what - I need a weeee bit more self-accountability to share those.

Then there are a few other ideas that I’ve been mulling which just don’t fit that weekend post theme. So I want to experiment with some features that would come out mid-week. This is going to be time and energy dependent on my part - I only want to do this if it brings me joy to create and you enjoyment to read. These ideas grouped together into four themes - so I’m playing with the idea of one piece a month on each of the following:

• Monthly Photo Essay - I enjoy thinking about a theme across space and time and have a few projects that I always am looking for images to add to. Doors? Interesting Tree Bark? Portals in Nature? The step I have yet to take is actually curating images into small stories or collections. Think fewer words, more images. I also set a goal to submit some of my work this year and will help to build some curation muscles (I hope!!!).

• Dispatch from the Archives - Over the holidays I found myself going back to older images that I never got around to processing or images that I see differently with time and perspective. So as the name implies… a deep dive into a place or bird species or sunsets or whatever. Again, fewer words, more photos.

• Dispatch from Me - These are things I want to talk about outside of photography. Somme of these will get political, but I’ll tell you up front if they do. But also… what’s it like being a photographer with aphantasia*? Or what it’s like to get a brain tumor diagnosis, surgery, and then not picking up a camera for 4-ish years? Or why pineapple, under no circumstances, EVER belongs on a pizza. These will be more about the words, but I’ll do my best to accent with photography.

• Non-Photography Goodies - Sharing other art, a few poems, collage work, or whatever else I happen to get myself into.

So, that is the plan. At least for now. Your thoughts really are appreciated (I can come across self confident… but totally faking it over here!!!). The birding, photography, and art communities on Substack have exceeded my expectations and I’m glad to inhabit a small corner of that space with y’all.

Cheers to 2026!!! Take the photos, make the art, write the thing!

I mistakenly thought it would be relatively easy to pick ten or fifteen images that were favorites this year. It was really, really hard! Partly, “favorite” is subjective. The photo of the wine glass and cheese plate on a cafe table in Paris with my sketchbook along side was certainly sentimental… but a favorite? That was harder to quantify. Or the bird image that is perfection for identifying the species, but lacks any personality in the bird. Good photo? Yes. A favorite? Maybe.

So here is my short list - about half birds and half everything else. This year brought me to France, Ghana, and Mexico with the camera and those locations are all represented here - as well as many from nearby home. You don’t have to travel far to find interesting subject matter after all. I’ve also noticed that while my editing style is quite minimal, for birds, I am really enjoying doing more work in Black and White - a trend I hope carries into the new year!

So I’m curious… what are your favorites? Anything you’re disappointed I left out? Or something included that misses the mark for you? I’d love your thoughts and here’s to a better 2026!

Subscribe now

But to accurately reflect on the year that was, I need to explore the process and progress towards my goals - good and bad - not just share the my favorite images. I hope you’ll indulge me this week, as there may be a Part 2 with my favorite photos soon.

I’ve been resisting the fabled year end post, but what I love about Substack is the nuance and perspective that folks share alongside their reflections. It’s not just our respective highlight reels, it’s the tough stuff too. And the habit forming behind the scenes that is just HARD. So to the 95 lovely souls (OK, perhaps 90 lovely souls and a few bots) that follow me… let’s pull back the curtain together.

I started this Substack a year ago because I wanted to share my writing and my art. I was pleasantly surprised that I rekindled my passion for photography and that has become a cornerstone this space - but my photography is rarely the whole story. I’ve shared a few tender bits, ups and downs, frustrations. But also at 44 I finally shared my first poem, sketches, and even a few oil pastels publicly - with all of you - through this space and for the first time in my life I feel like I have a creative practice. So those are wins.

And then there is all the chaos that has been 2025. And the consistent stress and fear that has come with it… so also plenty of things that go in the “not wins” category… we shall call it the dumpster of fire.

I am not a resolution person. January is a terrible time for me to try and create or change a habit. My Day Job gets busy, it’s cold, and the days are short. But as a recovering Type A perfectionist… I love crafting goals. And a list… oh, heart be still… I ADORE a good list. In 2018 I was introduced to , one of my favorite authors and podcasters - I enjoy the Happier podcast Gretchen hosts with her sister . They have a deceptively simple annual challenge and it has become ritual for me.

Short version, there are three parts. The cornerstone is your annual list. In 2018, it was 18 for 18. Eighteen things - big, small, personal, professional, play - that I wanted to accomplish in 2018. Tangible items to check of your lingering life list, new habits to form, experiences to enjoy. They also each select a one word theme for the year - something I finally took seriously in 2025. And they also have a community challenge (this year was Read 25 in 25 - that could be 25 minutes, 2-5 minutes, 25 books… but all about reading more). There is ZERO shame in changing or updating your list and I’m not sure anyone I know has actually finished everything on it. And that is not just OK, it’s celebrated.

Now I am reviewing my 25 for 25 list and drafting my 26 for 26. I realized that a year ago when I created this newsletter and had no idea what to write, I went to my 25 for 25 list and shared it. So it seems like a fitting end to the year to give a bit of commentary on what was great, what was a complete fail, and a few adventures along the way.

Subscribe now

Kara’s 25 for 25

My one word theme for 2025 was “Untether”. I came across the journal page where I was brainstorming words and there is a clear theme - letting go of the crap, stepping into my own outside of work, and finding a creative practice. I can’t tell you why untether won out, except that I like the visual of balloons flying off with the things I want to stop doing and I was giving myself to untether my metaphorical kayak from the dock and explore my creativity more intentionally.

I will group items together/change the order so that this stays an essay rather than a novella.

Of course let’s start with my creative goals

1. 🚫 Finish 7 Knitting Projects - I’d been in a knitting rut and wanted to bust out. Besides my husband was starting to question my yarn buying, so needed to up the output. I have two pieces done and could well finish a third before the new year. One is a sweater and that counts at least double. I fell short of the goal, but am knitting more regularly - so that is still a win.

2. ⚠️ Frog or Finish my Knitting Time Out Pile - OK, so I technically didn’t finish this one either. But made A LOT of progress. I frogged (frogging is when you rip apart something you had knit) 5-6 projects that are just not going to happen. Two sweaters I started and didn’t enjoy, a few cowls, and a shawl. I kept a few socks where I finished the first and never stared the second, and those are still waiting to be finished. I finished a cute cowl that I forgot all about and the shawl I put in time out because I didn’t want to fix a mistake is back on track and nearly done. So progress, if not completion!

3. ✅ Buy From a New to Me Artist - Yea, need some easy items on the list too! My current favorite is a linocut from .

4. ✅ Start a Substack - You’re here, aren’t you 😀

5. ✅ Create a Photography Landing Page - This was the farthest thing from my mind in January, but I always leave one slot on my list to fill in around my birthday in June. I wanted a place to share my work and group images into collections. It’s still quite modest and I have a lot more ideas. But I created it and hit publish - one of the most amazing moments of the year for me (followed by panic and imposter syndrome, but working on those). Marlinaphoto.com

6. ✅ Make a list of 25 Things that Please Me - This was something had on her list for 2025 and I was so glad I added it to mine. I kept a list of things that made me smile or brought bits of joy. There were a lot more than 25 - let me know if you’re interested in what besides “a perfect cappuccino in a cafe on a rainy morning” made my list - let me know. I found a lot of things from this list were great jumping off points as writing or drawing prompts.

7. ✅ Write 25 Poems - I never had a great English teacher, so never got interested in poetry or literature till far later in life. I like the idea of writing poetry, but it’s a muscle I had never really used. This year I started to exercise it. The muscle may still be weak, but I’m doing it!!

8. ✅ Send 250 Postcards - Happens that I am an avid postcard collector, so this was a bit of an easy one for the list. I don’t even want to think about what I spent in postage this year, but there is something special about sending and receiving a real postcard in the mail. Highly recommend if you want more analog in your life.

Listen and Learn

9. ✅ Anti-Social January - Typically I partake in Dry January, but there was a big thing going on at the Day Job and I was going to celebrate when it was done - so decided to skip Dry January. Instead I removed all my social media apps. My plan was to go 30 days without using social media (necessary Day Job LinkedIn was the exception - but only from my Desktop). Within two weeks I deleted my Instagram profile (gulp). Scary, but I was getting so much time and focus back. Now all I have is Substack and LinkedIn and am much, much happier for it!

10. ⚠️ Journal More Days Than Not - I’m giving myself a “kinda, sorta, maybe” on this one. I didn’t journal consistently and that was what I was trying to do. But I had some good, consistent stretches in there. And I definitely WROTE more days than not - which is a huge win. Sometimes it was free writing or poetry or here - but I consistently wrote this year!

11. 🚫 Watch 25 Movies/Documentaries/Series/Seasons - This is my biggest surprise on the list. I thought this would be pretty easy. But it turns out I don’t watch TV and when I do it’s because my hubby has sports on. I did manage 15 movies, so that isn’t nothing. And if I choose to really focus… I could still finish this before New Year’s Eve 🤔

12. 🚫 Visit 10 Museums or Cultural Events I didn’t plan well enough for this one and I might repeat it in 2026. Of course Paris meant the Louvre and a few others - all fantastic. But I wanted to get to some local places I have never been. Since I didn’t schedule in advance and block time, I never got around to it.

13. 🚫 Slow Read War and Peace - I was excited to do ’s slow read and then realized early 2025 was too chaotic to focus. I’ll be participating in 2026 and have a plan to (hopefully) keep on track.

14. 🚫 Develop a Weekly Tarot Practice - Inconsistency, again. I’ve realized I need to either block time specifically for this or work it into my weekend morning routine when I have my coffee and write. But I have been using my cards more, so that’s something.

15. ✅ Attend 10 Live Events - I got a little creative with what counted as a live event, but this introvert managed to do it!

16. 🚫 Visit a New to Us National Park - It wasn’t in the travel cards this year, despite a great travel year. My hubby and I want to visit all of the US National Parks together, so this is a goal most years. We’re been to about 1/3 of them.

17. ✅ Listen to 25 Podcasts Series or Seasons - I love me some good true crime and this is the silver lining to my 45 minute work commute.

Be Active

18. 🚫 Complete 25 Hikes - Physical activity is just not something I enjoy. I appreciate that it’s necessary, but I don’t like it. Hiking is tolerable, kayaking is growing on me. I got 20 hikes in, which is not bad - but still short of the target. Birding and wanting to get out with the camera were huge in making those 20 happen.

19. ✅ Host a Social Event at the House - Introvert here. Married to an extreme introvert. But we did have the neighbors over for a weekend evening - grill, a few drinks, good stories, and a lot of laughter.

Adulting

20. ✅ Hire a Financial Advisor - Hubby and I are at an age where someone smarter than me needs to be keeping an eye on things. And I’ve been putting it off for a while because who am I to think I deserve the luxury of a Financial Advisor. We were recommended a great one and she has more than paid for her services so far, should have done this a LONG time ago.

21. ✅ Consolidate Retirement Accounts - See above, this is where having a Financial Advisor was priceless. We needed to consolidate some old accounts and update some things. I think they make it hard on purpose.

22. 🚫 Update Hubby and My Wills and Advance Directives - This is one of the easiest things to put off. My PSA: Please don’t. My hubby wrote his right before major cancer surgery and I wrote mine the week before brain surgery. So while we have them, they are out of date and really need to be reviewed with a less frantic lens. Yet we still put it off. Again. It will be on my 2026 list and WILL be completed (no pun intended).

23. ✅ Replace Closet Organizers in the Master Bedroom - We finally did this and now it seems we have twice the space. We had only been talking about it for 10 years. A weekend of research, a few trips to IKEA, and a LOOONG weekend of installation was all it took. Should have done it years ago and are so thankful it’s finally done!

24. ✅ Pay Off Home Improvement Loan - Adulting is hard. We had a hail storm last year and needed a new roof and siding (yay, Missouri weather!!!). The contractor had a 0% APR loan option and that was the easy button at the time - but I darn sure wanted it paid before the 0% ended and we owed a crap-ton of interest. Done. And if you’re asking “doesn’t insurance cover that”? They do cover the parts where there is damage. About 25% of our siding was not damaged and they couldn’t match the color - so we either paid for the rest out of pocket or had a two-toned house. I did not want a two-toned house.

25. 🚫 Replace Our Ceiling Fan and Mantle - Our ceiling fan was something out of an 80 wicker infested beach cottage. I’ve wanted it gone since we got the house 10+ years ago. It wasn’t a DIY job, but we finally got it done and our fan matches the house. The mantle is equally awful, but for other reasons. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to the mantle… yet.

What was on your list? Thoughts from mine? Happy New Year and there will be a best photos of the year post sometimes this week.

On Boxing Day the birders slowly began arriving. Driven from their winter encampments, they emerge with cameras, binoculars, scopes, and reports of a rare Icelandic Gull. The unseasonably warm weather drives the birders to the banks of the Mississippi with hopes of seeing some friendly faces and new species whilst also avoiding family and holiday commitments for a few fleeting hours.

We were surprised with an unseasonably warm spell the past few days. Which has made the birds a bit more active, but also made a trip over to Alton to see what’s migrating or wintering in the area a reasonable way to spend a day. See… I love winter. I love snow and a warm drink by the fireplace. I. Hate. The. Cold. It makes my pain issues worse and I have yet to find a reason to justify being miserably cold while outside with my camera. OK… there was that one time on the North Shore of Lake Superior. But that is a story for another day.

Subscribe now

This means that my winter output - both in terms of birding and photography - is lower than the rest of the year. A time to edit photos from the past year and plan for the next. December is not a month where I gleefully jump in the car in search of birds. Unless it’s 65F/18C. Winter birding at that temperature seems like a great way to burn off a few calories the day after Christmas.

The result? SEVEN additions to my Life List. Most of them are not exceptionally rare for our area this time of year, I just don’t go out much in the winter to see them. Some were too far away for good photography, but that’s how it goes. I’m sharing all seven in this post for your enjoyment.

There were a LOT of birders out. The warm weather and fact that many had the day off work surely contributed. I used to be intimidated to chat with other birders. There are some really experienced folks in the area and I’m a relative novice. But over the summer I got better at asking what others had seen so far that day and where. And I’ve learned that most local birders (and the out of towners we get thanks to our location on the Mississippi River flyway) are nice, helpful, and passionate about our feathered friends. I haven’t made birding friends yet - I hope to - but smiles, sharing sightings, and encouragement are always a treat.

Of course there was one guy that proved to be the exception to the rule. But instead of being salty about it, I’m using it as a reminder that the birding community is mostly really good humans, even if it takes a jerk to remind me of that on occasion.

And what a treat to get outside on a pleasant winter day. It felt so good to walk/hike a bit and be out with the camera. It’s exciting to have new images to edit during this weird week between Christmas and New Year.

Baring any adventures in the next 3 days, I will finish the year with 102 species seen in my country - which ranks me 119th in the county at the moment. I was hoping to crack the top 100 (yep, I am competitive) - but I’d need 10 more species and that is unlikely. This year I was fortunate to see a grand total of 158 species across 4 countries.

Thanks for coming along with me and here is to an even more fruitful 2026!!

I hadn’t spent time with my camera for… awhile. We’d needed to take a break in 2020 and hadn’t rekindled our relationship. But as 2025 started one of my goals was to lean into my creativity and create more. And the only art I knew how to make was with my camera. It was time. Of course poetry and painting somehow came along for the ride, but that is a topic for another day.

Subscribe now

So this spring I started taking the camera on the deck to practice. I’ve always loved our birds and they presented both ample subject material and a new challenge as I got comfortable with my camera again. And then of course I found Merlin and E-Bird and was hooked on birding. I saw 151 species this year and photographed all but 20-ish. Some I photographed very badly, but that’s not the point. I was out there with the camera.

And as I scrolled through thousands of photos to find some fun ones to share, I realize that my photography really improved this year. A camera upgrade was certainly a part of that - although the first month with my new Canon Mirrorless camera was rough. Lots of good compositions with soft focus and missed shots as I learned the button layout. But as summer turned to fall and the new camera body became comfortable in my hands… the photos kept improving.

And there is a simple reason why. I was consistently out there with the camera. I might come home with 500, 700, 1,000 images from a few hours of bird photography. And most of them are… not good. But repetition not only makes one better at composing an image in the viewfinder, it also gives you a lot more material to work with. If I have 300 photos of a Cardinal doing his thing in the golden hour light - changes are good that a few are going to be keepers. I stopped trying to take the perfect photograph and instead focused on getting more good images - ones that I could spend time with in Lightroom.

And making the time to get this Substack out on a mostly regular basis has helped too. I am inspired and encouraged by the photography community here (can we get a Photo category, FFS). I enjoy the dopamine hit when someone likes my work - I’m being honest here - and that keeps me wanting to create new work and revisit past images.

As I looked for photos to include here, I came across many I had forgotten. Some were good images that I want to get into Lightroom and edit. Some were special because it was my first warbler (a Nashville Warbler this spring in my own backyard), or were taken on a great hike with my husband.

I am sure that 2026 will have even more photography and a good bit will be bird focused. But also have some travel planned with the camera. And a few series/collections in mind. On the birding front, I’d like to get 250 species on my Life List. It’s a stretch goal, but I don’t think it’s impossible. Wherever 2026 leads, we’ll figure it out together.

This morning I watched our sparrows, titmice, chickadees, and Cardinals take their turns at the feeders. They seem to need all the calories they can on these cold days. I wrote some holiday cards - the last ones thank goodness - the hubby had college football pre-game on in the background. I replied to a few emails and started in on my to-do list for the weekend.

I carried a few things into the bedroom to put away. Instinctively, I looked at the feeders and… no birds. Odd. I put whatever I was carrying away and went to the window. No birds. Silence. Then I saw a glimpse of movement in our big Black Walnut tree. I thought it was a Mourning Dove at first… but no.

And suddenly it all made sense.

Perched on a branch, scanning the ground and the trees majestically sat a hawk. I stopped breathing for a second. This was not the neighborhood Red-shouldered Hawk we often see (his name is Frank). And this was not one of the Red-tailed Hawk we sometimes see in a nearby park. Sitting right in front of me was a COOPER’S HAWK!!!!

I froze.

Subscribe now

I’ve seen a Cooper’s Hawk on a few occasions but have never gotten a good photograph of one. And there it was. Perched beautifully. My camera was about 6 feet away - dare I try to grab it before the Copper’s Hawk flys off? They are not ones to sit in the open for long. I slowly moved toward my camera and finally started breathing again when I had my camera turned on and the lens cap off. The Copper’s Hawk hadn’t moved.

I started snapping images as fast as I could. The hawk just sat there. I was thankful the windows had just been cleaned - opening the door would have certainly scared it off. And the hawk just sat there.

I finally thought to call to my Mom so she could see it too - I think it’s a new species for her and she LOVES hawks. I took some more photos. Started to think about framing and composition a bit. And the hawk just sat there. For a good 10-15 minutes this went on. It occasionally preened a bit now and again. Finally the Cooper’s Hawk took off and the spell was broken.

The songbirds are back in force, so I’m certain the Cooper’s Hawk is long gone. But for a few minutes this morning it felt like the world slowed down and got very quiet. I was mesmerized by a normally elusive Cooper’s Hawk that decided to pay a visit and stay awhile.

It was an unexpected delight, and that feeling of awe seeing a Cooper’s Hawk up close has lingered with me through the day. It made my step a little lighter and my to do list a bit less daunting. So in the busyness of December, don’t forget to stop and look outside - or better yet get outside - once in awhile.

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Thursday and today marks the end of a long weekend. I’m not quite ready to think about the Day Job that will be waiting in the morning. I’d rather hold tight to the last, lazy corners of a long holiday weekend for a bit longer.

Oh, and yesterday we woke up to SNOW!! Our first of the season, and it’s already mostly gone thanks to some warmer temps later in the day. But we awoke to a blanket of bright, white snow and some very fluffy, very vocal songbirds crowded around the feeder and hunkered down in tree branches.

Subscribe now

So whilst my husband went out front to shovel the driveway - three inches is no joke here in Missouri - I put on my coat and hat and scarf and headed to the deck. He didn’t think I’d make it ten minutes. He forgot that one should never underestimate a photographer with an abundance of subject matter. But alas, I will admit that a new pair of gloves I can wear while using the camera are now on my Christmas wishlist!!

It was a successful outing. Not only am I happy with the images I captured (and hope that you also enjoy them!!), but I managed a “cold weather” session on the deck. See, I do not like the cold. No… that’s not quite right. I hate it unless I am inside and under a blanket. Preferably near a fireplace with a cat. I was more than a bit concerned that I would not keep up my deck habit once the weather turned cold. And that had me feeling unsettled.

The deck has become more than my bird photography training grounds. It’s become where I sit and think, often whilst looking for birds - lady’s gotta multitask! I could walk out the door shedding worries about current events, the next work deadline, and whatever else. Just be present - me, the camera, my thoughts, and the birds. It’s where most of my Substack post ideas germinate and begin to grow.

I could say that I just wanted to capture some of my first winter images of the year (that would be true). I can focus on how cute and fluffy songbirds are in the winter (and they are). But I don’t think that’s why I went out yesterday. I don’t even think it was to prove my husband wrong (ok, that was a minors factor - let’s be real).

What got me up and dressed warmly and out the door was that I needed some time to think. Stressing, catastrophizing, I was doing plenty of that in the house. But an anxiety spiral wasn’t going to be helpful (are they ever?). And I can’t even blame family holiday dynamics, not this year. As you might know, two National Guardsmen were shot - one killed - in Washington DC by an Afghani immigrant. And if I’m about to get vulnerable with you and you might be tempted to unsubscribe - let me first be unequivocal in saying that this man needs to be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law and (if applicable) get access to the mental health services he needs. And my heart mourns the loss of two young lives - it doesn’t matter what I think of the policies and proclamations that placed them there - two families are grieving.

What got me is what came next. We knew what the rhetoric would be, rooted in fear and generalization. Blanket calls to pause immigration, review individual’s cases, accelerate deportation, and general anti-immigrant rhetoric.

I happen to have friends and colleagues with various immigration statuses. Several of them are from low income countries - popular targets for this type of rhetoric. I find myself thinking through my mental list - who may be impacted? What would it mean for them and their family? Our work? I felt powerless, I felt shame, I felt frustration, and a bit of anger. I needed to sit with those feelings and how to channel them… and am grateful the deck is there for me. I don’t have the answers, the deck is not quite that powerful. But I’m closer than I was yesterday and the chilly air with it’s brisk breeze certainly underscored the urgency.