Maybe we should rethink what self-compassion means. Rather than a form of weakness, what if treating ourselves with kindness when we fall short of our goals and standards makes us stronger and more resilient? A growing body of research suggests that this may be the case. In this week’s post, I will discuss the power of self-compassion, how I have learned to practice it, and what the research into the subject shows.

First, let’s all admit that we make mistakes and, at times, disappoint ourselves. No one, no matter how disciplined, does everything or handles every situation perfectly. Our emotions and human nature will lead to missteps. If we train ourselves to handle these inevitable shortcomings better, then we can learn to treat such occasions as learning opportunities rather than reasons to beat ourselves up.

When you come up short—not if—having a practice of self-compassion can enable you to pivot from the mistake and/or disappointment and grow from it. I have personally had to do this in multiple areas of my life, from financial mistakes I have made, to my relationships, to my struggles to improve as a speaker. I have learned to give myself grace, acknowledge when I have messed up, and try to improve.

Let’s establish some facts and delve into the research on self-compassion a little bit.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is, in many ways, about how we talk to ourselves when things don’t go the way we hoped. Psychologist Kristin Neff, a professor of psychology at University of Texas at Austin and one of the leading researchers in this field, describes self-compassion as having three components:

Self-kindness — treating ourselves with understanding instead of harsh self-judgment.

Common humanity — recognizing that struggle, mistakes, and suffering are part of being human.

Mindfulness — acknowledging difficult thoughts and emotions without becoming consumed by them.

Self-compassion means recognizing your shortcomings and vowing to improve upon them but not beating yourself down with negative self-talk when things turn out badly. For instance, I gave a presentation at Toastmasters on Friday that didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped. I have chosen to learn from the experience, and I will take proactive steps to improve upon my weaknesses as a public speaker. I will not allow this negative experience to halt my progression.

Does Being Hard on Ourselves Make Us Stronger?

Although conventional wisdom may suggest that self-criticism spurs people to improve, some research tells a different story.

In a 2012 study, University of California, Berkeley researchers Juliana Breines and Serena Chen examined what happens when people respond to failure with self-compassion instead.

In a series of experiments, participants who responded to personal failures with self-compassion showed greater motivation to improve. They were more motivated to make amends, avoid repeating their mistakes, and invest additional effort in improving.

Let’s collectively work on showing kindness to ourselves when we fall short of our goals and our standards.

I will conclude with a quote by Kristin Neff, the researcher I referenced earlier.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my post this week. I hope you found it worthwhile.

Check out this week’s YouRube video here:

Yours in growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

I want to reflect on a subject I have previously discussed, but I want to do a deeper dive into it. Gratitude, defined as “the state of being grateful” by Merriam-Webster dictionary, has powerful benefits for people’s mental health, as well as their ability to overcome challenges and setbacks. I intend to explore the evidence-based data on gratitude, as well as how it relates to resilience, and discuss the ways in which the practice of gratitude has enhanced and improved my life.

When it comes down to it, gratitude consists of changing one’s focus. If a person chooses to concentrate their thoughts on the problems in their life, or fixate on what they lack, they will not feel happy. However, a person can just as easily shift their mindset and attitude by choosing to reflect on the positive aspects of their life and the blessings in their life. Such a shift will result in an enhanced mood and greater appreciation for the people, places and things that bring them happiness.

For many years, I failed to realize the power of gratitude, and my mood and attitude suffered as a result. I concentrated my thoughts on my diminished abilities after my disability, leading to depression and stagnation in my life. Even seeing my relative health compared to other people who have experienced brain injuries (back in the days when I attended support groups) did not lead to feelings of gratitude. Sure, I felt thankful to not have it as bad as others, but I did not truly appreciate the capabilities that I had retained. Instead, I dwelled in a place of scarcity, thinking more about what I had lost.

At some point, a light bulb went on in my head, and I began to see the light. I have so much to feel grateful for. I lost most use of my left hand, but I still manage to live independently. I may not feel as intelligent as I did before the acquired brain injury that resulted from my second gamma-knife surgery in 2004, but my brain still functions at a very high level. I still can speak and write very well. People who meet me do not realize that I have undergone eight brain surgeries.

When I began to truly practice gratitude, my mindset and attitude shifted, and I proceeded to become happier, more confident and more resilient. I believe that this change allowed me to recover from the serious health scare that I faced in 2021. I emerged from a ten-day hospital stay, which included two brain surgeries, a third brain procedure and multiple days spent in the intensive care unit, stronger and more appreciative of my relative health. I also feel incredibly grateful for the love and support of my wife, Stacey, who has walked beside me on this journey and helped me to grow in so many ways.

Researchers have found a correlation between gratitude and resilience. People who appreciate their gifts and their blessings seem better equipped to bounce back from disappointments and setbacks, and to make the best of their circumstances.

Finally, I want to challenge each of you to begin a practice of gratitude, if you do not have one already. Before you go to sleep each night, reflect upon your day and find at least three things for which you feel thankful.

Join me in the Resilience Experience on my YouTube channel, where I will continue to post videos about the Science of Resilience, including how practicing gratitude can help you become more resilient.

Yours in gratitude and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Maybe we should rethink what resilience means. Yes, it means the ability to recover from adversity, but perhaps it means more than that. Resilient people do not just recover from adverse circumstances and situations – they look for ways to use what happens to them as an opportunity to grow. They try to take what happens to them and use it to improve themselves. Research into resilience suggests that adversity can become an opportunity for adaptation and growth.

I will relate the research to my own story as I continue this series on resilience. Please join me as we dive deeper into resilience and discover how you can train yourself in this indispensable life skill.

University of Connecticut researcher Dr. Keith Bellizzi, Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at the school, published work earlier this year that challenges the concept of resilience as the ability to return to one’s previous self after challenges. From his work with adolescent and young-adult cancer survivors, Bellizzi has found that successful adapters can hurt while still adjusting; they grieve from losses and challenges but continue growing. In other words, they accept the present pain but use it to pivot to an altered (and hopefully better) future.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this research. To show up as our best selves, we should try to view adverse situations as opportunities for growth and redefining ourselves. See if you can change the way you look at disappointments, setbacks and failures. You don’t have to believe that what happened to you was good. But perhaps you can find something meaningful in what you do with what happened to you.

Personally, as I have adapted to living with limited use of my left hand, I have come to embrace the challenges that life has presented me. That’s not to say that I do not feel frustrated by my inability to perform many tasks. I do feel frustration every day. However, I realize that dealing with my disability and my health challenges has made me more resourceful, more understanding and more empathetic because of what I have experienced. I have become a better person, a better husband, a better son and a better brother.

Resilience means adapting, changing into a different version of yourself. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the pain from that transformation.

I will leave you with a quote by American author Robert Jordan. The following quote comes from Jordan’s 1993 fantasy novel The Fires of Heaven. “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”

You can watch this week’s YouTube video here:

Please let me know what you think in the comments.

Yours in resilience and adaption,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

P.S. Thank you for reading this week’s post. If you value my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Thank you for your support.

I have shared my story with you, detailing the challenges I have faced and the attitude that has enabled me to pivot and adapt in the face of medical hardship and disability.

Ultimately, it comes down to one word:

Resilience.

Over the coming year, I intend to present a series of posts that dives deep into resilience. I will explore the research behind what enables prominent figures and everyday people to overcome incredible challenges, adapt to adversity, and sometimes emerge from difficult experiences stronger than before.

I will relate the science of resilience to my own story and the stories of other people, providing real-world examples of resilience in action.

To begin, let’s clearly define resilience and dispel some myths about this incredibly valuable life skill.

After decades of research, academics have come to characterize resilience as the ability to adapt successfully despite adversity.

It doesn’t simply mean bouncing back from failures and setbacks.

Resilient people aren’t immune to the downturns of life. Instead, resilience involves adapting to difficult circumstances, learning from experience, and finding ways to move forward.

And perhaps most importantly, resilience doesn’t appear to be something that only belongs to people who are naturally born with it.

Research increasingly suggests that resilience isn’t a fixed character trait. Many of the skills and protective factors associated with resilience can be strengthened through practice, experience, and supportive relationships.

Think of resilience not as a permanent character trait, but as a capacity that can become stronger with training and practice.

I have needed to call upon my resilience to get me through many challenges throughout my life, and without question, I will need to go back to that well many more times in the future.

Resilience has enabled me to recover from adverse situations like job loss, financial challenges, medical setbacks and more - emerging from those experiences wiser, tougher, and better prepared for future difficulties.

One researcher whose work particularly resonates with me is Ann Masten, a preeminent researcher in the field of resilience at the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development.

Masten has found that resilience often arises from ordinary adaptive systems - things such as supportive relationships, effective parenting, cognitive abilities, motivation, self-regulation, and opportunities to learn and develop.

She calls this “ordinary magic.”

I love that phrase.

It suggests that resilience isn’t necessarily some extraordinary superpower possessed by a select few. Sometimes it grows from ordinary things: loving relationships, supportive families, opportunities to learn, motivation, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances.

When I look back at my own life, I can see some of that ordinary magic.

I believe my resilience owes much to the love and support of my parents, Bob and Shari Irsay. Their ability to build a stable family and raise our family in a secure and comfortable environment enabled me to thrive despite the difficulties I faced.

I learned from the example they set. They taught me to value hard work, responsibility, and contribution to both our family and our community.

They shaped me significantly.

I also believe that my ability to learn, solve problems, and adapt to changing circumstances contributed to my resilience.

When I look at my life through the lens of Masten’s research, I may have had enough “ordinary magic” to develop the resilience that has carried me through eight brain surgeries and 22 years of living with a disability.

And this is just the beginning.

Over the coming weeks and months, we’ll explore what science has taught us about the resilient brain, optimism, self-efficacy, purpose, social connection, emotional regulation, post-traumatic growth, and the habits that can help us become more resilient.

My hope is that by the end of this journey, you’ll understand resilience a little differently—and perhaps discover that you have more of it within you than you realize.

I hope you’ll join me.

Please let me know what you think of this week’s post in the comments. And if you think this series could help someone in your life, please share it with them.

You can watch this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

This week, I want to inspire the audience to look at your lives and make a commitment to improving yourselves. What steps can you take each day to become a kinder, more helpful and more understanding neighbor? How can you improve your R.O.S.E. (Rate of Self-Evolution)1? The research2makes it clear that self-growth leads to better mental health, more satisfaction with life and greater resilience. I personally have made growth and self-improvement the guiding principles in my life over the past few years, and the benefits have become obvious. I feel better, stronger and more confident than I ever have. As I evolve, I try to bring more light into the world. I carry myself with pride, and I try to wear a smile on my face.

Now, reflect upon yourselves and the way you show up in the world, and ask yourselves what concrete actions you can take to become a better friend, a better boss, a better employee, a better parent, etc.? We can all improve in a myriad of ways to make life better for ourselves, the people around us and for future generations. What can you do to improve your attitude and mindset?

I do not have all the answers, and I don’t want to suggest that everyone should just listen to me. However, I know that seeking to continuously improve myself has given me purpose and a sense of direction. It has also allowed me to weather life’s continuous storms and bounce back from setbacks, of which there have been many. Keep improving yourself, keep developing, keep improving your resilience skills – and you will come out ahead.

I want to end with a quote from one of the great American figures from our country’s past. Benjamin Franklin said, “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”

Thank you for your time. I hope you enjoyed this week’s post. If you did, please share it with others and let me know what you like.

Please check out this week’s video here:

Yours in continuous growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Looking back on the events of my life, almost 22 years into this second phase, I can honestly say that I have made peace with what happened to me. Or I suppose I could say what happened for me. Losing most use of my left side at such a young age forced me to grow in unanticipated ways. While I would welcome a full restoration of the ability to use my left hand and the ability to run, among other actions and abilities, the disability pulled out of me a resourcefulness that I did not know I possessed. It gave me a much greater appreciation for the blessings in my life, as well as greater empathy for people who have experienced medical trauma and disability. I honestly feel that I have become the best version of myself (until I improve tomorrow and every day after that).

Adapting to life with a disability has taught me so many valuable lessons and helped me grow in so many ways. The challenges I face each and everyday have made me more patient and understanding. I have learned to accept that I struggle to accomplish many tasks, and it will take me longer to do most things than most people. Still, I have found that I can figure out a way to do almost anything. I empathize with people who have lost abilities and whose capabilities have diminished, whether due to aging, disease or trauma. Disability has taught me to carry myself with pride, regardless of what anyone thinks of me. I have learned to accept what I cannot change, and to not allow things outside of my control to determine my attitude.

If not for the disability, I likely would not have set out on this course. The growth and resilience that my disability has catalyzed in my life have become unquestionable blessings in my life, as they have become the basis for my purpose. I came through all of my medical challenges to inspire others to use their own setbacks and challenges as springboards for growth. I have overcome my eight brain surgeries and disability to show the unlimited ability of people to push through challenges. I believe that I can become a champion for people who refuse to give up and who refuse to let their circumstances define their attitude or their mindset.

To spread my message, I have embarked on a multi-faceted and multimedia quest. I hope to inspire with this Substack newsletter and the eventual publication of my memoir. To become a public speaker, I joined a Toastmasters club in my area last year. I just recently became an officer in the club, accepting an appointment as Sergeant at Arms. This position gives me a speaking role at every meeting and has helped me grow more confident getting up in front of an audience. As many of you know, I also launched a YouTube channel earlier this year to spread my message of mindset, resilience and positivity through weekly video posts.

As an aside, I attended a Toastmasters Leadership Institute event this past Saturday (7/25) at Palm Beach State College in Lake Worth Beach. I had a speaking role at the event, serving as a “facilitator” for the Sergeant at Arms training session.

I encourage you all to learn more about Inky Johnson, one of the figures who inspired me to share my story. Johnson, a star college football player at the University of Tennessee, had a very bright future ahead of him. He was predicted to become a top draft pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, until a fluke injury in 2006 left him with a permanently paralyzed right arm. He refused to allow his misfortune to derail his life, becoming an inspirational and motivational speaker.

Thank you all for reading. I will return next week with a new post. Go out and make it a great week!

You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

This week, I want to look back on the past year of this newsletter. I have now published a post every week for the past 52 weeks. What began as an outlet to chronicle my medical journey and my life has evolved into a means of not just talking about myself but also sharing the hard-earned wisdom that I have acquired along the way. For those of you who have walked this road with me over the past 365 days, I thank you for your continued support.

When I began my Substack journey, I had not even heard of the platform. On a whim, I asked ChatGPT for ideas for how I could use my writing skills to earn some extra money. The AI software suggested that I start a newsletter on Substack as a side hustle. I can’t say that this venture has proven lucrative. To date, three people have signed up for paid subscriptions. I feel thankful that three of you have supported me financially. Thank you, Eddie, Cindy and Mom. Still, I can thank artificial intelligence for prompting me to share my story with the world.

Although this newsletter started as a means of hopefully earning some extra money, it has given my life a new purpose: to use my story hopefully inspire others to persevere through their own challenges and find meaning in their own struggles. I have expanded my efforts to motivate others to my YouTube channel, which I began in January, and developing myself as a public speaker. I may add a podcast as well down the road. Stay tuned to this space for updates on my multi-faceted efforts.

Publishing this newsletter has provided me with a creative outlet to share my story, and it has played a critical role in my growth and evolution as a person. Since I began this journey on Substack, I have continued the healthy habits that led me to a place where I felt confident enough to share my tale. I have continued to read almost every night, learning new perspectives and knowledge from numerous authors. I have also continued my nightly routine of listening to lessons on Mindvalley as I get ready for bed each night. The discipline to publish a new post each week has helped me to launch a YouTube channel, where I post two videos each week.

As I have mentioned before, I want to grow this newsletter and reach as many people as I can. I hope that you have found my story and my posts valuable, uplighting and worthy of your time. If you have any suggestions for uplifting topics, or you would like to share your stories with me, please reach out to me and let’s try to uplift others together.

You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Hello readers. This week, I want to talk about a concept that I consider one of my weaknesses. Like many people, I struggle to remember people’s names and sometimes details of conversations slip from my mind like grains of sand through my fingers. It seems that if I paid better attention, perhaps I could remember things better. One of the coaches I listen to on Mindvalley, Jim Kwik, gave a lesson on this concept. Kwik specializes in enhancing people’s memories and mental sharpness. He says that the art of memory is the art of attention.

Kwik talks about how being powerfully present can help you remember names better, along with other details. Basically, if you truly listen to other people in your conversations, you can focus more intently and improve your ability to retain the information they share. Instead of thinking about what you want to say next or looking around the room, home in on what the other person or people say in the conversation. You remember better by truly concentrating on the present moment.

As I mentioned above, all too often I forget a person’s name within seconds or minutes of hearing it. I think we could all benefit from improving our attention in social settings and disregarding distractions, both internal and external. Let your mind go silent as you engage in conversations, meetings and other tasks, and your performance should improve, as will your retention.

As a side benefit of this modus operandi, you will temporarily block out worries about your problems and “negative” feelings like regret, sorrow and fear. A focus on the present moment should improve your mood and allow you to engage in conversations and other activities with greater clarity and effectiveness.

Perhaps the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our attention. The more present we are, the more we remember, the deeper our relationships become, and the more fully we experience each day. In a world full of distractions, choosing to be powerfully present may represent one of the most valuable skills we can develop.

I will leave you with a quote by German author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, who said “Wherever you are, be there totally.”

Here’s this week’s YouTube video:

Note: If you haven’t already subscribed to my YouTube channel, please take a moment to subscribe. It will help me grow the channel and hopefully reach more people. Thank you for your support!

Yours in resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

I want to revisit the Carl Jung quote with which I closed last week’s post. As a reminder, the quote by Jung is ““I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” Long before I began the second act of my life in September 2004, when I lost most use of my left hand and developed a severe limp, I had lived by Jung’s words, defining myself not by the brain surgeries I had undergone and the setbacks I had faced, but rather by my achievements in spite of these hardships.

The events of September 2004 represented a crossroads moment in my life. Faced with a major disability at the tender age of 23, and dealing with the back-to-back hurricanes Frances and Jeanne, I quickly had to choose whether to give up and settle for a diminished life, or carry on, figure things out on my own and create a new version of myself. The circumstances of that month tested my mettle more than anything ever had. I remember feeling very scared by what had happened to me and feeling very uncertain about my prospects for the future.

I recall a visit with a neurologist in the early going, who offered some hope. Optimistically, he posited that I might recover function after six months, as my brain healed from the effects of the radiation procedure in February 2004. As I continued living my life, with my left arm locked in a clenched position, I held out hope that the passage of time might result in recovery. As the six-month mark came and went without recovery, it felt like a gut punch and a wake-up call. I had not realized any significant gains from the course of time.

Hitting that six-month milestone, I recognized that recovery might not come, but I could adapt and fight like hell to improve my situation. I had not yet embraced the disability (that time wouldn’t come until many years later), but I had decided to stop feeling ashamed of it. I continued to exercise regularly and try to become stronger and more able.

The disappointment that followed attempting hyperbaric therapy in late 2005 and early 2006 and realizing minimal results stung hard and solidified the realization that I may not recover. I would need to learn to get used to this diminished version of myself. I struggled for many years afterward to accept and love myself.

Fortunately, I found a new outlet for myself by working as a clock operator for high school football. Despite my disability, I soon established myself as one of the better clock operators in Palm Beach County. I earned the respect of my fellow officials, as well as athletic directors at high schools across the county. Even though few people ever asked what had happened to me, I enjoyed the respect and acknowledgement that I received. I found that my confidence in myself grew as I proved my ability as a clock operator and earned more respect.

Over the years, I chose to stop trying to conceal my disability. Instead, as I grew more comfortable with myself and more confident, I decided to take ownership of my disability. Yes, this happened to me, but I don’t feel ashamed. If anything, I feel proud that I evolved and made my disability a part of my identity. The disability does not define me, but my response to it does define me. I hold my head up, knowing that I have not allowed it to stop me from living my life on my own terms.

Thank you all for reading and allowing me to share my journey with you.

I leave you this week with a quote by Lebanese American businessman Nido Qubein, who said: “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start.”

Here’s a link to this week’s YouTube video:

Yours in resilience and self-determination,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Getting along in the world has proven quite challenging since the onset of my disability in September 2004, but I have made it work. In fact, I have become the best version of myself with the aid of my support system and particular products and procedures. Nearly 22 years into this journey, I feel that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to, and I will continue to better myself everyday until I achieve the success that I desire.

In this week’s post, I want to reflect on the methods, procedures and products that have allowed me to thrive despite my less-than-ideal circumstances. When the second act of my life began back in 2004, the limp that I had lived with since my mid-teens became much more pronounced, as I developed a condition called foot drop. Basically, my left foot started turning inward with each step I took. I experienced many falls in the early stages until I received medical help.

Doctors referred me to an orthotic specialist, Skip Pisani, in Lake Worth. Pisani constructed an ankle-foot orthotic (AFO) by casting a model of my lower left leg and foot, then building a hard plastic brace that fit snugly on my lower leg. The AFO prevented my foot from turning inward and allowed me to lead an active life. Later on, I received a second AFO with a hinge at ankle level, which allowed me to walk with a more normal gait. The AFOs allowed me to function, but they could rub on the skin of my ankle and foot, leading to chafing.

After wearing AFOs for several years, I started using an incredible medical device called a Walkaide. This wearable device would send electrical stimulation to muscles in my calf, to prevent my foot from turning inward as I walked. I used the Walkaide for several years, and I credit it for playing a large role in correcting my foot drop, along with physical therapy and exercise. At one point, the device stopped working, but, by that point, my brain had retrained my left leg so that I no longer needed the device.

Many years ago, I started wearing shoes with orthotic sole flares. These flares, built on the left side of my left shoe, prevent the foot from turning sideways. I found that after many years of using AFOs and the Walkaide, I could get by without a brace so long as I wear my modified shoes.

Shifting to my upper body, I started receiving regular Botox injections in my left arm many years ago. These injections relax the muscles in my arm that cause my left hand to clench. I receive these injections every 12 weeks or so. The injections do not allow me to use my fingers, but they do allow me to use my left arm for some functions. I can turn on some light switches and pull door handles with my left hand after I get my Botox. These injections have restored some function to my left arm and hand.

I still live mostly one-handed, but the combination of Botox, physical therapy and exercise has enabled me to make great strides and live independently.

I mentioned my support system earlier, and I must give thanks to my family, friends and Stacey for their support and encouragement.

For anyone living with a disability or struggling with diminished function, hold your head up, keep pushing forward and seek out procedures and devices that will assist you in living. Most importantly, NEVER GIVE UP!

I will leave you with a quote by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. Jung said, “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”

You can watch this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in growth, progress and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Stop allowing negativity and doubt to live inside your head. These thoughts take up precious real estate within your mind and hold you back from chasing your dreams and realizing your potential. Realize that you have control of the fear holding you back. All too often, we decline to really go after our goals because we have imagined negative results will follow. What if you changed the imagined narrative? See yourself succeeding in your efforts and go forth with confidence instead of fear and hesitation.

I have fully embraced this mindset, and it has transformed my life. When I began pursuing my current path toward public speaking, I doubted my abilities as a public speaker. However, as I have grown in this area, I have come to look forward to opportunities to speak. I believe that I will improve with repetition, and I see each speaking opportunity as a chance to grow and hone my skills. Rather than imagining myself falling short or failing, I imagine myself inspiring others with my story and my message. I imagine each speech going very well. I don’t doubt myself or my abilities at all, and neither should you. Leave the doubts to the haters and use their doubts as motivation to prove them wrong.

Prepare yourself for greatness through positive self-talk, practice and belief in yourself and your abilities. Feed your mind positive expectations instead of negative ones and transform fear into excitement. Stop allowing your mind to sabotage your goals and growth. We all have enough concerns, responsibilities and hopes filling our minds that we should not allow doubts and fears to take up space. Evict negativity from your mind and watch as positivity and hope bloom in your head.

When I made this shift in my own life, I felt my confidence, optimism and assuredness grow. I stopped thinking of myself as a victim for all that I had gone through and began to consider myself a victor for coming through it all. I believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to, no matter how lofty my aspirations, and you should too. I reject limitations and will prove my capabilities in due time.

I want to leave you with a quote by the English author and playwright Arnold Bennett. Bennett said, “Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.”

Please watch this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in positivity and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

We need to work especially hard to build real connections with the people in our lives. We must not allow digital relationships to take the place of spending quality time with our loved ones, family, friends and colleagues. All too often, people spend too much time on their phones, even in social settings. I’m sure we have all witnessed couples on dates in which both people are engrossed in their phones. Go to any restaurant on a weekend night, and I bet you will see at least one couple who don’t speak to each other but rather spend the time looking at their phones.

I had a bad habit of engaging in this same behavior, until Stacey made me aware of it. Now, we have a “no phones” policy when we eat together, either out in public or at home, allowing us to be present with each other. By paying attention to each other during this together time, we have built a strong relationship. I still occasionally absorb myself in my phone in social settings, but I have made progress in breaking this bad habit.

We live in a world of distractions, and the outside noise grows louder by the day. It has become increasingly difficult to stay focused as the scope and scale of distractions expand constantly. The remarkable devices that we carry with us daily provide us with instant access to information, but they also hinder our ability to stay focused and to accomplish our goals, both short-term and long-term. This week, I want to write about the challenge of focus in this golden age of information.

Our lives and identities have fundamentally changed in the social media era. I won’t bash Facebook, X, Instagram, etc. for providing us with platforms to connect with each other and broadening the size of the “public square” for sharing ideas and bringing like-minded individuals together. In fact, I appreciate the potential for positive interaction and progress that social networks provide. At the same time, I have found more inner peace by largely disengaging from social media. I basically stopped using Facebook a decade ago as I found it too filled with vitriol and too opinionated. I also disliked how so many people portray their lives as all positivity, giving a disingenuous image of their lives. In my opinion, social media seems to encourage users to brag about themselves, and it leads to people feeling inferior when they compare themselves to others.

As an aside, I suppose that you could consider Substack a form of social networking. It has certainly sucked me in with its content. However, I appreciate the creativity that the platform encourages, as well as the sense of community that it engenders.

You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in resilience and growth,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

When you make personal growth a core part of your identity, you may realize unexpected benefits that accompany your progress. For instance, after living with my disability for more than two decades, I now find that I can walk faster and sturdier than I have in many years. The combination of physical therapy, exercise and a healthy diet have resulted in surprising gains. I have walked with a noticeable limp since high school, but it seems like I have overcome this limitation recently.

I believe my commitment to healthy living and growth enabled this progress. If I had remained stagnant or allowed myself to lead a sedentary life, I would not have made these strides. Between my regular sessions in physical therapy and my strength training at the gym, I have greatly improved my strength and my gait. Stacey recently signed us up for personal training sessions at a new gym. I feel excited about the gains I can make working with a trainer! I do not expect a miraculous recovery, but I do think I can recover further, even after more than 21 years of disability.

Decide to no longer allow past challenges and shortcomings to define your future. Just because you may have struggled to do something previously does not mean that you will always face difficulties in that arena of your life. If you believe that you can succeed in something, try to turn that belief into reality. Change how you perceive setbacks, and you can find the value of these negative experiences. Look at how failed ventures and relationships can make you wiser and can set you up for future success going forward.

I challenge everyone to look at the limitations you have placed on yourself, and to imagine your life without these limitations. Dream big! To paraphrase the late personal development author Bob Proctor (1934 – 2022), if you can see it in your mind, you can bring it into existence. Start by believing it’s possible to improve your lot in life, then take concrete steps toward your goals. As motivational speaker Les Brown says, “It’s possible!”

Stop holding yourself back and see what you can achieve by truly going after your dreams and goals. I recognize that this requires a mindset shift, but if I can shift my mindset after all that I have endured, then why can’t you? Imagine the life you want, then make it happen.

Here’s a link to this week’s YouTube video:

Finally, I will leave you with a quote by the great American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 -1822).

Yours in growth, resilience and possibility,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

In this week’s post, I want to discuss some of the hard-earned lessons I have learned through my medical journey, and how I believe these concepts can help anyone, as they have helped me. To build an intentional life of purpose, one must get clear about their principles and goals, and they must commit themselves to living a life that remains true to their ideals as they doggedly pursue their dreams.

As I see it, defining your values and beliefs allows you to form a base for personal growth and development. With your values and beliefs defined, you can go forward in pursuit of the achievements you seek to attain, and you can try to bring forth the changes you want to see in yourself and your community. I strongly advocate people to replace their obsolete beliefs with better and more appropriate beliefs when necessary. To use an analogy, think of your beliefs as the software of your brain’s operating system. As with computers and smartphones, you need to upgrade and update your apps and software periodically. Update and upgrade your beliefs to make yourself as effective and efficient as possible. In my case, I needed to eliminate the belief that I could not improve the use of my left side because too much time had elapsed. After I disregarded the conventional wisdom that progress and recovery can only happen in the first six months after a brain injury, I threw off the shackles that had held me back.

Furthermore, strive to replace bad habits with healthier and more productive activities. If your preferred diet and eating habits do not allow you to feel your best, change how and what you eat to optimize your health. Replace wasteful and ineffective hobbies with activities that further your growth as a person. In the past few years, I changed my diet, eliminating red meat and dairy products. I also started flossing my teeth nightly before I go to bed each night. The combination of this relatively new routine and healthier eating has led me to feel better than ever. My wife and I have also developed a nightly routine of reading before we go to bed, which engages our minds and allows us to spend more quality time together.

Change your mindset to believe in your capability for growth, improvement and achievement. Stop selling yourself short and shoot for greatness. You will never find out if you can fly unless you take a leap. Believe that you can improve yourself and your situation, then put in the work to make it happen!

In my opinion, if you commit yourself to continuous improvement and growth, no one can stop you but yourself. Develop the habits, beliefs and mindset to become the best version of yourself and go after your dreams. Ignore the naysayers and critics who say that you can’t achieve your goals, or better yet, use their doubts and negativity to fuel your achievement and growth.

Admittedly, I did not always lead my life by what I have said in this post. For too long, I doubted my capabilities and the possibility of creating a good life for myself. I wallowed in self-pity, feeling sorry for myself, and stayed stagnant.

I encourage everyone to take a hard look at your beliefs, mindset and habits, and determine if something you think or do has held you back. If so, make a change and unleash your potential.

Thank you all for reading. I will leave you with a quote by author M.J. Moores. She said, “Build a strong foundation and you can reach even the most unthinkable heights.”

You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Hello readers. Happy Memorial Day! I wish to share with you an important development. As I previously shared, I enrolled in Les Brown’s “Speaking for a Living” program, to develop my skills as a public speaker and learn more about what it takes to launch a career in public speaking. As I complete Phase 2 of the program, I will need to submit a video recording of a 10-to-12-minute speech. As you can probably imagine, I have never spoken on stage, or in any other venue, for this duration of time.

Until mere days ago.

On Friday, May 22^nd, I presented a speech during my weekly Toastmasters meeting that lasted 12 minutes! I presented the speech well, and received praise from many of my fellow Toastmasters, who also provided valuable feedback and advice on how I can make the speech better. You could call this my signature speech, which I have titled “Turn Struggle into Purpose.”

In the speech, which I will post here on Substack, as well as on my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@Turn-Struggle-into-Purpose), I share my story with the audience. Although I had spoken about some of my journey at previous Toastmasters meetings, I shared details about my medical journey; and spoke about the lessons I have learned along the way. I shared stories from my past and examples to illustrate the points I want to make.

I believe that I can make the speech much better, based upon the feedback and advice I received. I can present the content more powerfully and more clearly. I want to make this speech as strong as possible, as I hope to present it in many more settings in the coming years. Additionally, if my speech is selected as the best out of my cohorts in the “Speaking for a Living” program, I will get to give the speech at my graduation ceremony in September.

When I joined Toastmasters last year, I don’t think I could have comfortably spoken for such a length of time. I lacked the skills and the confidence to give a lengthy presentation. Now, I find that my comfort and confidence in public speaking grows each time I get to speak in front of an audience. As my passion to pursue this dream of motivating people through my words has grown, I feel empowered to share my story with the world, and the hesitation or timidity that previously kept me quiet have given way to a conviction to reach as many people as possible.

In brief, my speech touched upon the following points. Lesson one: Never give up! Lesson two: Own Your Circumstances and Find Your Why. Lesson three: Reprogram your beliefs and attitude.

In future posts, I will revisit these themes and lessons.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my posts each week. Your support inspires me to keep pursuing this path.

Go out and make it a great week. I will return with a new post next Monday. You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Also, please check out the weekly “Shorts” that I publish on my YouTube channel each Wednesday night.

Yours in growth and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

Today, I want to dive deeper into a concept that I have referenced before, the reverse gap. This concept refers to a perspective shift, in which a person focuses on the progress they’ve made rather than the distance (the gap) they still must traverse to reach their goals. In my humble opinion, this concept allows people to enjoy the journey instead of fixating on the destination. I have found this idea very helpful as I pursue my purpose of sharing my story to uplift others. I cannot say with certainty that I will achieve my lofty goals, but I can look back on the progress I have made since I started down this road with pride and satisfaction.

For instance, in my quest to become a public speaker, I have not come close to reaching the level of great. I may not even qualify as good yet. However, I know that I can comfortably deliver a speech longer than 10 minutes. A year ago, I would have struggled to speak for even one minute in front of an audience. I build confidence with every speech I give at Toastmasters.

I link the reverse gap concept to my philosophy to grow everyday and continually move forward. By appreciating how far I have come and how much I have grown as a person, I boost my self-esteem, celebrate the “small” wins and feel emboldened to keep striving for more.

I do not compare myself to anyone else. In my YouTube short earlier this week, I referenced a quote by Tony Robbins, in which he said, “The only person you should strive to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” I do not feel the need to “keep up with the Joneses” or anyone else for that matter. I feel satisfied and content with myself as long as I keep growing and improving myself. My progress day by day serves as my measuring stick. I do not need to surpass anyone else to know that I have done well.

Look back on the milestones you have reached and surpassed on your journey; and use the knowledge of that progress as your motivation to keep going. Look at how far you have come and know that you can go much further as long as you don’t stop going forward. Discard your limiting self-talk and beliefs and see where the road ahead takes you.

Relentlessly pursue your goals and dreams. It doesn’t matter how long it may take you to reach them. Enjoy the journey, celebrate your progress, and don’t allow outside voices to discourage you.

I will leave you with a quote by American novelist Ernest Hemingway, who said “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

Click here to watch this week’s YouTube video:

Yours in progress and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

In these troubling times, when the news and social media feeds feature news of war, economic uncertainty, inflation and other troubles, it can seem like a tall task to find things that bring a smile to your face. When you factor in the personal challenges that we all face in our hectic lives, such as health problems and financial difficulties, finding the light can feel almost impossible. Still, in the face of such negativity, we must actively seek out the things in life that light us up to maintain our sanity and muster the energy to make the world a better place. Examples of such things include love, children, grandchildren, pets, friends, hobbies and passion projects.

For me, music has served as the light that has guided me through difficult times. Listening to and discovering quality music brings me happiness. I also thoroughly enjoy attending concerts and live music performances, whether in a small bar, an outdoor festival, or in an arena or stadium. Live music lights me up and has provided countless moments of bliss, as well as events to look forward to.

Since I fell in love with my wife Stacey and we started our life together, her love and companionship have provided a constant source of light in my life. Every day I look forward to coming home to Stacey and our cat, Patrick. We enjoy spending time together, and we have formed very healthy habits to encourage our growth, as individuals and as a couple.

I do not minimize the sources of strain and difficulty that affect each of us. We all have a metaphorical mountain to climb and problems to overcome. Personal health challenges and those that affect our loved ones will inevitably cause sadness. The affordability crisis impacts us all, as the cost of living keeps increasing, and we may worry about the “other shoe to drop,” anticipating additional trouble.

Each of us needs to discover what makes us happy, and we should pursue the activities and hobbies that bring joy. Joyful activities and hobbies help to distract us from sorrow and shift our attention away from the negativity that seemingly surrounds us. Additionally, take time each day to express gratitude for your blessings.

I found this quote by American Olympic cycling champion Kristin Armstrong. She said, “When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” I love this metaphor.

Finally, control the thoughts you allow to occupy space in your mind. As the Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” We all have the freedom to choose our thoughts and our attitudes.

Go out and bring some light into the world. Try to give everyone a smile. Treat everyone with kindness.

You can view this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in gratitude and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

P.S. For the music lovers out there, check out this Substack: https://substack.com/@clarionx. I love the videos posted here! They bring me joy everyday.

I listened to a recording by self-help speaker and author Lisa Nichols on Mindvalley recently, that really resonates with me, and I want to share it with you. Nichols spoke about a concept that she had learned from Stephen Covey, the late American author and speaker. Covey, best known for his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” describes a scenario in which you imagine walking into your own funeral. He challenges readers to imagine who would speak at their respective funerals, and what their loved ones and colleagues would say about them.

The concept really strikes a chord with me, especially as my wife and I have lost relatives, friends and associates over the past several years. Nichols asks a very profound question in the Mindvalley talk. She asks, “What do you want to be remembered for that you haven’t done yet?” If that question doesn’t light a fire under you, I don’t know what will. This question motivates me to actively pursue my goals and dreams.

Everyday, we shape our legacy by what we do, what we say, how we treat others and how we show up in the world. Our attitudes, actions and demeanor influence our environment, our community and the people with whom we interact, but do they create a positive or negative impact? Hopefully, we will all create positive changes for the world, and people will remember us fondly and with admiration.

My legacy remains undetermined, but I believe that I will build a legacy of kindness, compassion and resilience. I choose to lead a purpose-driven life, hoping to inspire others through my words, my actions and my demeanor, despite all that I have gone through and continue to experience. I have a smile for everyone I meet, to quote the Pretenders song “Middle of the Road.” I strive to exude positivity in all that I do, which hopefully makes the world a better place. I feel that my writing and speaking will help me create my legacy.

Now I ask you, how can you build the legacy that you want? What do you need to do and accomplish to make people remember you as you would like to be remembered?

In closing, I leave you with a quote by author Craig D. Lounsbrough, who said “How you live today is the legacy you leave tomorrow.”

You can watch this week’s YouTube video here:

Yours in resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

When I began this journey on Substack, I sought to inspire readers to face and overcome their own challenges. I hope that my example of positivity in the face of medical hardship and disability helps others navigate their own challenges – whatever struggles they may face. Perhaps my example of transforming my personal difficulties into a greater mission can motivate others to find purpose in their pain.

Life presents challenges to us all. However, with the right attitude, one can overcome any challenge that comes their way. The challenges and disappointments we face never end. Life will keep throwing up roadblocks for all of us. We will lose family members, friends and loved ones along the way - from death, differences in opinion, hurt feelings and life pulling us in different directions. We will face illnesses, diseases and disabilities, whether they affect us or our loved ones. Many of us will face financial struggles from time to time.

The question becomes; how do you respond to life’s challenges? Do you allow life to dictate your attitude and mindset? Or do you choose to live positively and with purpose, regardless of the circumstances? Do you stay down and give up when life knocks you to the ground, or do you pick yourself up and fight for the life that you want?

I challenge each of you to look at your circumstances and the attitude that you put forth in life. Evaluate whether this attitude has helped or hindered your growth and progress. If your current modus operandi has not worked, try a different tact and see if it helps you to move forward and become a better version of yourself.

No matter what any of us faces or has faced, we all have the opportunity to direct our lives from this moment forward. To quote the late motivational speaker Louise Hay, “Make the rest of your life the best of your life.” Choose happiness and a purpose-driven life and make the best of your circumstances.

This week’s YouTube video:

Yours in purpose and resilience,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose

As I have set out to inspire people with my story, I have realized that I need to work on myself to optimize my talents and achieve my full potential. I cannot rest on past achievements and stay the same. I must strive to keep improving how I live, how I behave and how I present myself to make the greatest impact. Only by pushing myself to improve and achieving new goals can I hope to become a role model and leader.

I seek to improve myself in all areas of my life: physical health, livelihood, ego, beliefs, financial, relationships, spiritual and community1.

Physical health: I have committed myself to a healthy diet and active lifestyle. Through trial-and-error, I have discovered what foods work best for me and which foods disagree with me. I maintain a largely plant-based diet, while avoiding red meat and dairy products. I have made exercise and weekly gym sessions non-negotiable for myself. I do not skip the gym, because I enjoy working out and I have made physical fitness an important part of my identity.

Livelihood: I take pride in the work that I do. I work for the family business, an irrigation business founded by my father, Bob, more than 40 years ago. I recognize the importance of sustaining the business, as it provides income for my parents, my brother and his family, myself and the employees that work for the business. Additionally, the business provides an important service for our customers.

Ego: I recognize that my perception of myself depends only on whether I remain committed to self-growth and moving forward in life. I do not compare myself to others or measure my self-worth by what I possess or have achieved relative to friends, peers, neighbors and family members. I avoid the comparison trap and the mentality of “keeping up with the Joneses.”

Beliefs: I have developed my own set of beliefs about life based on my experiences, and I do not seek to convert others to my worldview. I understand that I must upgrade my beliefs when my existing beliefs no longer serve me or when circumstances dictate an evolution in what I believe. I keep an open mind that enables me to shift what I believe as necessary.

Finances: I seek to continually improve how I make money and how I spend it. I look for opportunities to improve my financial situation. I strive to live in a fiscally responsible way.

Relationships: Admittedly, I can do much better in this area of my life. I want to do more to strengthen relationships with my family and friends. A big weakness in my life is staying present when around others. Like many people, I look at my phone far too much, especially in the presence of others. I will continue to work on this flaw.

Spiritual: I strive to become more at peace with myself and life in general. Each day, I listen to self-growth lessons, and I try to carve out time for meditation and self-reflection. I harbor no ill will toward God, life or the universe for what I have gone through.

Community: I seek to become a positive example for others by treating all people with respect and dignity. The volunteer work that I have done with organizations that help the “unhoused” population and my work with the Miracle League of Palm Beach County brings me great satisfaction. I want to do more to lift up people within my community.

As I move forward in life and continue to pursue my goals and dreams, I will continue to strive to improve myself in each of these areas.

Thank you all for reading. Please share your thoughts and comments. I want to continue to improve this newsletter, and I welcome your feedback.

Click the following link to view this week’s YouTube video:

Yours in resilience and self-growth,

Jason Irsay
Turn Struggle into Purpose