Last night my wife and I sat down to play a board game.

Somewhere near the end of the game I noticed I’d gone through most of a bag of dark chocolate chips, a handful of pretzels, and a small mountain of almonds.

Not exactly a crime. But I’ve been on this journey of wanting more energy in my body, and I’ve learned that eating sweets and such after dinner doesn’t support a good sleep.

So sure enough, I tossed and turned all night and woke up around 4:10am .

And there, in the dark, I had a couple choices. I could judge myself for it. Or I could give myself grace.

I’ve learned this slowly, and mostly by getting it wrong first, but if I keep shaming myself for something, I don’t change. I just get better at hiding it, or better at hating myself for it. And that’s not very helpful.

So instead I try to catch the “I should stop eating sweets” voice and trade it for something truer. “I genuinely want to feel healthier. That’s the real desire of my heart.” Not an ‘I should’, but an ‘I want to’.

That one shift, from ‘should’ to ‘want to’, turns a shame push into a heart pull.

I was also talking with a friend this week who was carrying something similar, just heavier. She kept telling me that if she couldn’t fix a certain pattern in herself, that made her a bad person. Unworthy, even.

I found myself telling her what I’d tell my own daughter, who once asked me why people smoke. I explained that some things feel good to our bodies even when they’re not good for us. She said, “Well, I’m not going to do that, because I don’t want to be bad.” And I had to catch her in that statement.

Just because someone smokes doesn’t mean they’re bad. Just because I eat too many sweets at night doesn’t mean I’m bad. And just because you’re finding something hard to overcome doesn’t mean you are a problem to be fixed (a person who is fundamentally flawed).

Consequences are real, yes… but consequences were never God’s way of telling you that you’re flawed. God doesn’t make flawed things so that’s not even a concept He thinks about. So the whole idea of “bad choice = bad person”, was never His. Someone else taught you that.

And here’s the thing... you don’t change by believing it harder. You change the same way I’m slowly learning to change: by letting yourself be loved in the middle of it, not after you’ve earned your way out of it.

Scripture for today:

Not his anger. Not his disappointment. His kindness. That’s the thing that actually moves us.

Try this Receiving Prayer:

Find a quiet minute. Take a few slow breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Picture yourself in God’s presence. Not the version of him that keeps score, the real one, the one whose eyes are full of compassion when he looks at you.

Now bring him something you’ve been shaming yourself over. Something you keep telling yourself you should stop doing, or should have already fixed.

Ask him gently: “Lord, what do you want to say to me about this?”

Just wait. Notice what comes. A word, a feeling, a sense of his presence, a memory. Don’t rush past it.

If what you hear sounds like kindness rather than a scorecard, that’s probably him. Let it land and breathe it in. You don’t have to fix yourself before you’re allowed to receive it.

Amen,
Tyson

On Sunday I was on a call with a group of people, most of whom had never met each other. About fifty minutes in, a woman typed something into the chat.

She wrote that what she wanted more than anything was to hear from God. But she was also afraid of it. She said maybe she needed to see more of how God is safe, and that …

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At times I have taught formulas. I have taught steps to connecting, …

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He shared how during his thirty years in business and church, he collected a number of phrases. Things like…

• Be efficient.

• What’s the best use of your time?

• Opportunity cost.

• Don’t waste your life.

He said the…

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He shared six questions he uses in one-on-one meetings to help develop leaders.

The questions were thoughtful, practical, and effective. But as I read them, I noticed that most of the questions pointed people back to themselves.

• What are you doing about it?

• Who’s going to help you solve it?

• What’s your plan?

Again, for leadership development, those are decent questions. But they get people into “figure out mode” instead of “receiving mode”.

So what if there’s a deeper question? What if the most important thing isn’t figuring out what we’re going to do... but noticing what God is already doing?

I think many of us have been trained to approach life as if we’re the primary actor and God is the occasional consultant. We hit a challenge and immediately start searching for answers.

We strategize. We analyze. We work harder.

And only when we’ve studied everything out do we ask God to help.

But what if He’s already with you?

What if He’s already moving and speaking?

What if the invitation from God isn’t to carry more responsibility, but to enter into His rest?

When someone shares a struggle or challenge with me, I don’t ask them “What are you going to do about it?”

Instead we go into prayer and we might ask: “Lord, what are You already doing here?”

Or: “Lord, what do You want me to know about this challenge?”

Or: “Lord, what would You invite me to do here?”

Everything changes when we move from striving (I’ll figure this out) to noticing (God has already figured this out).

From managing life for God to experiencing life with God.

And these aren’t just questions for yourself. They’re powerful questions for your spouse, children, friends, coworkers…

So the next time someone shares a challenge, resist the urge to immediately solve it.

Instead, try asking:

• What are you afraid of in this? Can you give those fears to Jesus?

• If God is for your good, then what is He already doing in this?

• What would it look like to face this with Him instead of by yourself?

Then get curious together. Pray together. Listen together.

And don’t panic if they don’t hear anything profound. God isn’t under pressure. He knows how to reach His children.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is create enough space for people to become aware of Him.

And if someone feels stuck, I’ve found two gentle questions can often open a deeper conversation:

1. “What are you afraid of?”

2. “Is there anyone you need to forgive?” (including yourself)

Fear and unforgiveness have a way of making God’s voice seem distant.

God is closer than we think… like, way closer. One might even say He is in us.

He’s not waiting for you to figure everything out. He’s already at work in your life today.

The invitation is simply to notice. And then join Him in the work He’s already doing.

with love,
Tyson

p.s. - We are making some changes to the Receive Academy. The only way you can come in is if you join a Hearing God Challenge. We will be leading these challenges every month, but the intent is that we create opportunities for groups of people to come in at one time, forming a cohort of sorts, so that you can develop friendships with like-minded people coming into the community at the same time.

Needless to say, lots of amazing things happening and people entering into more freedom from fear and shame.

p.s.s - Some of you on this email list are paid subscribers. And since you are, I’d like to give you some additional insight as a thank you…

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