<script data-pm-proxy="intercept"></script><?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></title><description><![CDATA[a 20 year-old girl giving way to her thoughts and feelings]]></description><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PL7j!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fed0e18e9-f447-4cf0-af4f-4ab3a99a5fc5_736x526.jpeg</url><title>خولة بنت محمد</title><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2026 03:40:14 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="/__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[ummhafsa05@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[ummhafsa05@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[ummhafsa05@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[ummhafsa05@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[stop putting limits to what Allah ﷻ can do]]></title><description><![CDATA[He is capable of the impossible, you just have to believe]]></description><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/stop-putting-limits-to-what-allah</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/stop-putting-limits-to-what-allah</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 02 Sep 2026 20:15:11 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0592a1d6-47f4-4936-9edd-c42b96426a92_736x414.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>what do we lack today as muslims who <em>truly </em>have faith in Allah?</p><p>i&#8217;d say tawakkul. i mean <em>pure tawakkul</em> that Allah can and will do whatever it is you whisper to Him in your du&#8217;a, and give it to you, or give you even better, something that is perfect for you by the hikmah of Allah &#65019;.</p><p>nowadays, we truly tend to see Allah &#65019; the same way we would a physical being in front of us, forgetting that Allah is free from mistakes and can do what you and i can&#8217;t.</p><p>we forget that the same Lord we pray to is the one who saved Musa &#1593;&#1604;&#1610;&#1607; &#1575;&#1604;&#1587;&#1604;&#1575;&#1605; from fir&#8217;aun and split the sea for him, the same Lord who made Yusuf &#1593;&#1604;&#1610;&#1607; &#1575;&#1604;&#1587;&#1604;&#1575;&#1605; the governor of egypt (&#1593;&#1586;&#1610;&#1586; &#1605;&#1589;&#1585;), the same who split the moon for the Prophet &#65018; when he was asked for a miracle.</p><blockquote><p>&#1604;&#1614;&#1607;&#1615;&#1765; &#1605;&#1615;&#1604;&#1618;&#1603;&#1615; &#1649;&#1604;&#1587;&#1614;&#1617;&#1605;&#1614;&#1600;&#1648;&#1608;&#1614;&#1648;&#1578;&#1616; &#1608;&#1614;&#1649;&#1604;&#1618;&#1571;&#1614;&#1585;&#1618;&#1590;&#1616; &#1750; &#1610;&#1615;&#1581;&#1618;&#1609;&#1616;&#1766; &#1608;&#1614;&#1610;&#1615;&#1605;&#1616;&#1610;&#1578;&#1615; &#1750; <strong><span data-color="#980000" style="color: rgb(152, 0, 0);">&#1608;&#1614;&#1607;&#1615;&#1608;&#1614; &#1593;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1609;&#1648; &#1603;&#1615;&#1604;&#1616;&#1617; &#1588;&#1614;&#1609;&#1618;&#1569;&#1613;&#1762; &#1602;&#1614;&#1583;&#1616;&#1610;&#1585;&#1612;</span></strong> &#1634;</p><p>To Him belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He gives life and causes death. <strong><span data-color="#980000" style="color: rgb(152, 0, 0);">And He is Most Capable of everything</span></strong><span data-color="#980000" style="color: rgb(152, 0, 0);">.</span></p><p>surah al hadid, 2</p></blockquote><p>He himself affirms it, He <em>is </em>capable of everything, even things our mind can&#8217;t comprehend, so why the fear?</p><p>has He not been clear? </p><p>we need to start shaking off that voice that whispers <em>it&#8217;s impossible </em>each time we wish for something that seems far fetched. </p><p>with tawakkul, pure trust in Allah&#8217;s capabilities and knowing that the answer lies not in our hands, letting go of everything, what we think isn&#8217;t going to happen because the reality seems hard, will happen by the will of Allah.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_424, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_848, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg" width="736" height="246" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:246,&quot;width&quot;:736,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:31321,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/i/213734941?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_424, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_848, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PmaI!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fffde3c10-3259-4bfb-934d-bd3b6d3b31bc_736x246.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>have you ever thought about what could be ruining your tawakkul? </p><p>i&#8217;d say, getting too lost in the dunya, while starting to think of future events as <em>too far </em>and goals <em>too far fetched.</em> </p><p>Allah has made it so easy for us to trust Him, in fact he reminds us very often in the qur&#8217;an. Allah has placed a small and easy-to-follow rule, a promise through which he calms our anxious hearts and racing minds.</p><blockquote><p>&#1608;&#1614;&#1602;&#1614;&#1575;&#1604;&#1614; &#1585;&#1614;&#1576;&#1615;&#1617;&#1603;&#1615;&#1605;&#1615; &#1649;&#1583;&#1618;&#1593;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1616;&#1609;&#1619; &#1571;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1580;&#1616;&#1576;&#1618; &#1604;&#1614;&#1603;&#1615;&#1605;&#1618; &#1754; &#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1614;&#1617; &#1649;&#1604;&#1614;&#1617;&#1584;&#1616;&#1610;&#1606;&#1614; &#1610;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1603;&#1618;&#1576;&#1616;&#1585;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1614; &#1593;&#1614;&#1606;&#1618; &#1593;&#1616;&#1576;&#1614;&#1575;&#1583;&#1614;&#1578;&#1616;&#1609; &#1587;&#1614;&#1610;&#1614;&#1583;&#1618;&#1582;&#1615;&#1604;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1614; &#1580;&#1614;&#1607;&#1614;&#1606;&#1614;&#1617;&#1605;&#1614; &#1583;&#1614;&#1575;&#1582;&#1616;&#1585;&#1616;&#1610;&#1606;&#1614; &#1638;&#1632;</p><p>And your Lord says, <strong><span data-color="#980000" style="color: rgb(152, 0, 0);">&#8220;Call upon Me; I will respond to you.&#8221;</span></strong> Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.</p></blockquote><p>surah ghafir, 60</p><p>it is set. you just have to <em>call</em>, through salah and du&#8217;a, and there you have it, the certainty that Allah <em>will</em> respond. because He has promised us, and He never breaks His promises.</p><p>when you want something from Allah, and He guides you to make du&#8217;a for it, that should suggest that His answer is close by, and that only with time and patience will it unravel in front of you.</p><p>do whatever you can in the meantime, don&#8217;t just sit back, set things in motion and tie your camel. Allah sees your efforts, trust in His answer and that the best outcome is the one Allah chooses for us.</p><p><strong><sub><span data-color="#980000" style="color: rgb(152, 0, 0);">&#1587;&#1576;&#1581;&#1575;&#1606;&#1603; &#1575;&#1604;&#1604;&#1607;&#1605; &#1608;&#1576;&#1581;&#1605;&#1583;&#1603;&#1548; &#1571;&#1588;&#1607;&#1583; &#1571;&#1606; &#1604;&#1575; &#1573;&#1604;&#1607; &#1573;&#1604;&#1575; &#1571;&#1606;&#1578;&#1548; &#1571;&#1587;&#1578;&#1594;&#1601;&#1585;&#1603; &#1608;&#1571;&#1578;&#1608;&#1576; &#1573;&#1604;&#1610;&#1603;  </span></sub></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[walking on eggshells]]></title><description><![CDATA[a letter i wish my 15-year old self could read]]></description><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/walking-on-eggshells</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/walking-on-eggshells</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 21:40:10 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/98692b29-cb81-4277-a900-c02afaf94f4d_1052x602.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>sometimes you feel like you can&#8217;t make too much of a sound.</p><p>you walk silently, eat silently, you stop talking as much as you used to. everything to please people. those very people you can&#8217;t seem to speak your mind with, because you&#8217;re afraid of rejection, of them leaving your life.</p><p><em>maybe i&#8217;m being too much.</em></p><p><em>maybe they don&#8217;t even want to be here with me.</em></p><p><em>maybe i&#8217;m a deadweight.</em></p><p>you act like they&#8217;re doing you a favour by talking to you, until you lose yourself and the pleasure of loving yourself.</p><p>you start thinking of others, so much that you forget that the first one on your mind should be you.</p><p>this is such a common feeling, but very few speak about it. perhaps they find it embarrassing, after all it is hard enough to come to terms with it, so sharing it with more and more people just seems to be <em>too much</em>.</p><p>now, let&#8217;s start from where <em>all of this</em> reasoning is wrong.</p><p>nobody is doing nobody any favours. if people keep you company it&#8217;s because they genuinely want to be by your side, not because they&#8217;re expecting some payment out of you.</p><p>you don&#8217;t need to pretend or hide your interests just so that you can <em>better </em>fit in.</p><p>if they&#8217;re the good company that Allah &#65019; has written for you, they&#8217;ll stay even if you show them a world of weirdness.</p><p>if they&#8217;re not, then trust me when i say&#8230; Allah <em>will </em>bless you with even better. because it is always like this, and the thing you lose is nothing compared to the reward that comes after.</p><p>so no, you don&#8217;t need to walk on eggshells.</p><p>you don&#8217;t need to silence your mind.</p><p>you don&#8217;t need to erase your person.</p><p>Allah &#65019; has created you in this way, and you should acknowledge it and welcome it, with all the pain and mistakes, with all the choices and the fears.</p><p>all that you need is to keep going. life tends to be hard, and with good company it does feel easier. but do not feel too pressured to make friends, if  <em>they</em> don&#8217;t feel <em>right</em>. don&#8217;t force it, especially if you see yourself slowly slipping, if you find your personality backing into a corner and your world changing colour.</p><p>never give up.</p><p>never erase yourself for the sake of another person.</p><p><em>never forget who you are.</em></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[the sweetness of du'a, the subtlety of answer (istijabah)]]></title><description><![CDATA[how quietly, almost imperceptibly, Allah answers our du'a... in the most beautiful way.]]></description><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/the-sweetness-of-dua-the-subtlety</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/the-sweetness-of-dua-the-subtlety</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 01 Mar 2026 20:42:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YWr3!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f379c07-2992-4e9b-9188-a0a31dc151da_720x516.heic" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YWr3!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f379c07-2992-4e9b-9188-a0a31dc151da_720x516.heic" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YWr3!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_424, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, 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/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YWr3!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f379c07-2992-4e9b-9188-a0a31dc151da_720x516.heic 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h3>&#65021; </h3><p>you sit there, quietly waiting, mind spiraling and breath hitching.</p><p>your hands are raised, your lips parted, as your tongue speaks. word after word, entangling to form your most hidden dreams, wishes, desires. they may seem just whispers to the wind, but they are not unheard by As-Samee&#8217; &#65019;.</p><p>your heart settles, and then comes the <em>&#8216;after&#8217;</em>.</p><p><em>will Allah answer my du&#8217;a?</em></p><p><em>will Allah grant me what i wish for?</em></p><p><em>do i deserve to be granted such favour?</em></p><p><em>maybe i shouldn&#8217;t have asked for this&#8230;</em></p><p>you start having <strong>doubts</strong>, not because you don&#8217;t believe in Allah&#8217;s power and mercy, but because your nafs keeps whispering these evilness to you. </p><p>but here&#8217;s what i&#8217;d like to tell you, not from my own mind, but from the qur&#8217;an.</p><div class="pullquote"><p>&#1608;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1602;&#1614;&#1583;&#1618; &#1582;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1602;&#1618;&#1606;&#1614;&#1575; &#1649;&#1604;&#1618;&#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1587;&#1614;&#1600;&#1648;&#1606;&#1614; &#1608;&#1614;&#1606;&#1614;&#1593;&#1618;&#1604;&#1614;&#1605;&#1615; &#1605;&#1614;&#1575; &#1578;&#1615;&#1608;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1608;&#1616;&#1587;&#1615; &#1576;&#1616;&#1607;&#1616;&#1766; &#1606;&#1614;&#1601;&#1618;&#1587;&#1615;&#1607;&#1615;&#1765; &#1750; &#1608;&#1614;&#1606;&#1614;&#1581;&#1618;&#1606;&#1615; &#1571;&#1614;&#1602;&#1618;&#1585;&#1614;&#1576;&#1615; &#1573;&#1616;&#1604;&#1614;&#1610;&#1618;&#1607;&#1616; &#1605;&#1616;&#1606;&#1618; &#1581;&#1614;&#1576;&#1618;&#1604;&#1616; &#1649;&#1604;&#1618;&#1608;&#1614;&#1585;&#1616;&#1610;&#1583;&#1616; &#1633;&#1638;</p><p><em>Indeed, &#761;it is&#762; We &#761;Who&#762; created humankind and &#761;fully&#762; know what their souls whisper to them, and We are closer to them than &#761;their&#762; jugular vein.</em></p><p><strong>[50:16]</strong></p><p></p><p>&#1608;&#1614;&#1573;&#1616;&#1584;&#1614;&#1575; &#1587;&#1614;&#1571;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1603;&#1614; &#1593;&#1616;&#1576;&#1614;&#1575;&#1583;&#1616;&#1609; &#1593;&#1614;&#1606;&#1616;&#1617;&#1609; &#1601;&#1614;&#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1616;&#1617;&#1609; &#1602;&#1614;&#1585;&#1616;&#1610;&#1576;&#1612; &#1750; &#1571;&#1615;&#1580;&#1616;&#1610;&#1576;&#1615; &#1583;&#1614;&#1593;&#1618;&#1608;&#1614;&#1577;&#1614; &#1649;&#1604;&#1583;&#1614;&#1617;&#1575;&#1593;&#1616; &#1573;&#1616;&#1584;&#1614;&#1575; &#1583;&#1614;&#1593;&#1614;&#1575;&#1606;&#1616; &#1750; &#1601;&#1614;&#1604;&#1618;&#1610;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1580;&#1616;&#1610;&#1576;&#1615;&#1608;&#1575;&#1759; &#1604;&#1616;&#1609; &#1608;&#1614;&#1604;&#1618;&#1610;&#1615;&#1572;&#1618;&#1605;&#1616;&#1606;&#1615;&#1608;&#1575;&#1759; &#1576;&#1616;&#1609; &#1604;&#1614;&#1593;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1617;&#1607;&#1615;&#1605;&#1618; &#1610;&#1614;&#1585;&#1618;&#1588;&#1615;&#1583;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1614; &#1633;&#1640;&#1638;</p><p>When My servants ask you &#761;O Prophet&#762; about Me: I am truly near. I respond to one&#8217;s prayer when they call upon Me. So let them respond &#761;with obedience&#762; to Me and believe in Me, perhaps they will be guided &#761;to the Right Way&#762;.</p><p><strong>[2:186]</strong></p><p></p><p>&#1608;&#1614;&#1602;&#1614;&#1575;&#1604;&#1614; &#1585;&#1614;&#1576;&#1615;&#1617;&#1603;&#1615;&#1605;&#1615; &#1649;&#1583;&#1618;&#1593;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1616;&#1609;&#1619; &#1571;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1580;&#1616;&#1576;&#1618; &#1604;&#1614;&#1603;&#1615;&#1605;&#1618; &#1754; &#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1614;&#1617; &#1649;&#1604;&#1614;&#1617;&#1584;&#1616;&#1610;&#1606;&#1614; &#1610;&#1614;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1603;&#1618;&#1576;&#1616;&#1585;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1614; &#1593;&#1614;&#1606;&#1618; &#1593;&#1616;&#1576;&#1614;&#1575;&#1583;&#1614;&#1578;&#1616;&#1609; &#1587;&#1614;&#1610;&#1614;&#1583;&#1618;&#1582;&#1615;&#1604;&#1615;&#1608;&#1606;&#1614; &#1580;&#1614;&#1607;&#1614;&#1606;&#1614;&#1617;&#1605;&#1614; &#1583;&#1614;&#1575;&#1582;&#1616;&#1585;&#1616;&#1610;&#1606;&#1614; &#1638;&#1632;</p><p>Your Lord has proclaimed, &#8220;Call upon Me, I will respond to you. Surely those who are too proud to worship Me will enter Hell, fully humbled.&#8221;</p><p><strong>[40:60]</strong></p></div><p>just from these few ay&#257;t you get a glimpse at how Allah &#65019; wants us to act.</p><blockquote><p><em>&#8220;call upon Me, i will respond to you.&#8221;</em></p><p><em>&#8220;I respond to one&#8217;s prayer when they call upon Me.&#8221;</em></p><p><em>&#8220;I am truly near.&#8221;</em></p><p><em>&#8220;and We are closer to him than his jugular vein.&#8221;</em></p></blockquote><p>doesn&#8217;t reading this make you feel Allah&#8217;s closeness?</p><p>He &#65019; has made it clear to us, He listens and, most importantly, he responds.</p><div><hr></div><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_424, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_848, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_webp, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, 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src="/__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg" width="483" height="273.9004149377593" 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/__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg 424w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_848, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg 848w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1272, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg 1272w, /__u/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KA9u!, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/w_1456, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/c_limit, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/f_auto, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/q_auto:good, /__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0c957e4-73c8-4b4e-a6cd-941fe238de38_723x410.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><strong>how to have </strong><em><strong>tawakkul</strong></em><strong>?</strong></p><ol><li><p>ask and be patient. <em><strong>sabr</strong></em> is the most important player here. waiting can be hard, but there is reward after patience.</p></li><li><p>no matter the answer, believe that it will be what is best for you. Allah knows you better than yourself and better than your own mother, so He absolutely knows what you need (and perhaps what you need is also what you want).</p></li><li><p>live your life. because one answer will certainly come. Allah doesn&#8217;t ignore a servant who has come to Him, asking Him for His favours.</p></li></ol><p>also, i want to share something i read that umar ibn al khattab &#1585;&#1590;&#1610; &#1575;&#1604;&#1604;&#1729; &#1593;&#1606;&#1607; said.</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>"&#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1617;&#1616;&#1610; &#1604;&#1614;&#1575; &#1571;&#1614;&#1581;&#1618;&#1605;&#1616;&#1604;&#1615; &#1607;&#1614;&#1605;&#1617;&#1614; &#1575;&#1604;&#1618;&#1573;&#1616;&#1580;&#1614;&#1575;&#1576;&#1614;&#1577;&#1616;&#1548; &#1608;&#1614;&#1604;&#1614;&#1603;&#1616;&#1606;&#1618; &#1571;&#1614;&#1581;&#1618;&#1605;&#1616;&#1604;&#1615; &#1607;&#1614;&#1605;&#1617;&#1614; &#1575;&#1604;&#1583;&#1617;&#1615;&#1593;&#1614;&#1575;&#1569;&#1616;&#1548; &#1601;&#1614;&#1573;&#1616;&#1584;&#1614;&#1575; &#1571;&#1615;&#1604;&#1618;&#1607;&#1616;&#1605;&#1618;&#1578;&#1615; &#1575;&#1604;&#1583;&#1617;&#1615;&#1593;&#1614;&#1575;&#1569;&#1614; &#1601;&#1614;&#1573;&#1616;&#1606;&#1617;&#1614; &#1575;&#1604;&#1618;&#1573;&#1616;&#1580;&#1614;&#1575;&#1576;&#1614;&#1577;&#1614; &#1605;&#1614;&#1593;&#1614;&#1607;&#1615;."</strong></em></p><p><em>"I do not carry the concern of the answer, but rather I carry the concern of the supplication; for if I am inspired to supplicate, then the answer is with it."</em></p><p><strong>the disease and the cure, pg. 38</strong></p></blockquote><p>so ask your Lord &#65019; and have certainty that He is &#1649;&#1604;&#1618;&#1587;&#1614;&#1617;&#1605;&#1616;&#1610;&#1593;&#1615; &#1649;&#1604;&#1618;&#1605;&#1615;&#1580;&#1616;&#1610;&#1576;&#1615;, the All-Hearing and the Answerer of Prayers.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Islam while growing up]]></title><description><![CDATA[The impact my religion had on me as a pre-teen and teenager]]></description><link>https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/islam-while-growing-up</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/p/islam-while-growing-up</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[خولة بنت محمد]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 01 Jan 2026 18:47:42 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PL7j!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fed0e18e9-f447-4cf0-af4f-4ab3a99a5fc5_736x526.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Islam.</em></p><p>It was a word I&#8217;d heard so many times growing up - from my parents, relatives, friends, teachers.</p><p>A word that never really felt strange. Until it did.</p><p>I was raised in a western country, one where kufr (disbelief) prevailed over everything else. It was hard trying to hold onto my identity as a Muslimah in such a corrupted ambience.</p><p>My mum would always tell me, &#8220;Khawla, you should not act like them. You should do good, pray and fast, read Qur&#8217;an and be firm on the path of Allah &#65019; so that you&#8217;ll enter Jannah&#8221;.</p><p>I listened to her, but following exactly what she taught me wasn&#8217;t easy. </p><p>You know when you used to have homework, but you just didn&#8217;t feel like doing it, but eventually you had to? That&#8217;s how I felt towards the actions that were supposed to bring me closer to Him &#65019;.</p><p>I started treating salah like a burden and watched my Christian/atheist friends live their lives like they were actors in a movie I so desperately wished to be part of - as a main character though, not as a background character who was only there for the sake of diversity.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>&#1608;&#1614;&#1649;&#1604;&#1604;&#1614;&#1617;&#1607;&#1615; &#1610;&#1614;&#1607;&#1618;&#1583;&#1616;&#1609; &#1605;&#1614;&#1606; &#1610;&#1614;&#1588;&#1614;&#1570;&#1569;&#1615; &#1573;&#1616;&#1604;&#1614;&#1609;&#1648; &#1589;&#1616;&#1585;&#1614;&#1648;&#1591;&#1613;&#1762; &#1605;&#1615;&#1617;&#1587;&#1618;&#1578;&#1614;&#1602;&#1616;&#1610;&#1605;&#1613;&#1762; &#1636;&#1638;</strong></p><p>But Allah &#761;only&#762; guides whoever He wills to the Straight Path.</p><p>Surah An-Nur, 46</p></div><p>I don&#8217;t exactly know where it started.</p><p>Maybe it was thanks to Allah sending me reminders through my parents.</p><p>Maybe it was the continuous videos that would show up to me on Instagram or TikTok.</p><p>Maybe it was my soul craving a <em>real</em> contact with her rabb, not a flat one.</p><p>My perception changed. I always think of this ayah in Surah An-Nur and almost cry every single time. Because Allah &#65019; could have indeed made my life like those &#8216;friends&#8217; of mine I so envied. But, instead, He chose to guide me and make me one of the <em>muslimat mu&#8217;minat</em>, upon the true tawhid, not wishing for this Dunya anymore like i used to.</p><p>It was a gradual change, and of course there is still room for improvement, but what i want to say, over and over again is <em><strong>alhamdulillah</strong></em>.</p><p>May Allah make us from among those He is pleased with, from among those who&#8217;ll be told:</p><div class="pullquote"><p>&#1601;&#1614;&#1649;&#1583;&#1618;&#1582;&#1615;&#1604;&#1616;&#1609; &#1601;&#1616;&#1609; &#1593;&#1616;&#1576;&#1614;&#1600;&#1648;&#1583;&#1616;&#1609; &#1634;&#1641; &#1608;&#1614;&#1649;&#1583;&#1618;&#1582;&#1615;&#1604;&#1616;&#1609; &#1580;&#1614;&#1606;&#1614;&#1617;&#1578;&#1616;&#1609; &#1635;&#1632;</p><p>So join My servants, (29) and enter My Paradise.&#8221; (30)</p><p>Surah Al-Fajr, 29-30</p></div><p><strong> &#1587;&#1576;&#1581;&#1575;&#1606;&#1603; &#1575;&#1604;&#1604;&#1607;&#1605;&#1614;&#1617; &#1608;&#1576;&#1581;&#1605;&#1583;&#1616;&#1603; &#1571;&#1588;&#1607;&#1583;&#1615; &#1571;&#1606;&#1618; &#1604;&#1575; &#1573;&#1604;&#1607;&#1614; &#1573;&#1604;&#1575; &#1571;&#1606;&#1578; &#1571;&#1587;&#1578;&#1594;&#1601;&#1585;&#1615;&#1603;&#1614; &#1608;&#1571;&#1578;&#1608;&#1576;&#1615; &#1573;&#1604;&#1610;&#1603;</strong></p><p>Everyday I hold onto His guidance like it&#8217;s a precious stone, hoping to always carry it with me safely until the day I meet Him &#65019;, in sha&#8217;Allah.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="/__u/ummhafsa05.substack.com/subscribe"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>