i’d say tawakkul. i mean pure tawakkul that Allah can and will do whatever it is you whisper to Him in your du’a, and give it to you, or give you even better, something that is perfect for you by the hikmah of Allah ﷻ.

nowadays, we truly tend to see Allah ﷻ the same way we would a physical being in front of us, forgetting that Allah is free from mistakes and can do what you and i can’t.

we forget that the same Lord we pray to is the one who saved Musa عليه السلام from fir’aun and split the sea for him, the same Lord who made Yusuf عليه السلام the governor of egypt (عزيز مصر), the same who split the moon for the Prophet ﷺ when he was asked for a miracle.

لَهُۥ مُلْكُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ ۖ يُحْىِۦ وَيُمِيتُ ۖ وَهُوَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدِيرٌ ٢

To Him belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He gives life and causes death. And He is Most Capable of everything.

surah al hadid, 2

He himself affirms it, He is capable of everything, even things our mind can’t comprehend, so why the fear?

has He not been clear?

we need to start shaking off that voice that whispers it’s impossible each time we wish for something that seems far fetched.

with tawakkul, pure trust in Allah’s capabilities and knowing that the answer lies not in our hands, letting go of everything, what we think isn’t going to happen because the reality seems hard, will happen by the will of Allah.

have you ever thought about what could be ruining your tawakkul?

i’d say, getting too lost in the dunya, while starting to think of future events as too far and goals too far fetched.

Allah has made it so easy for us to trust Him, in fact he reminds us very often in the qur’an. Allah has placed a small and easy-to-follow rule, a promise through which he calms our anxious hearts and racing minds.

وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ٱدْعُونِىٓ أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَسْتَكْبِرُونَ عَنْ عِبَادَتِى سَيَدْخُلُونَ جَهَنَّمَ دَاخِرِينَ ٦٠

And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.

surah ghafir, 60

it is set. you just have to call, through salah and du’a, and there you have it, the certainty that Allah will respond. because He has promised us, and He never breaks His promises.

when you want something from Allah, and He guides you to make du’a for it, that should suggest that His answer is close by, and that only with time and patience will it unravel in front of you.

do whatever you can in the meantime, don’t just sit back, set things in motion and tie your camel. Allah sees your efforts, trust in His answer and that the best outcome is the one Allah chooses for us.

_{سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك، أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت، أستغفرك وأتوب إليك}

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you walk silently, eat silently, you stop talking as much as you used to. everything to please people. those very people you can’t seem to speak your mind with, because you’re afraid of rejection, of them leaving your life.

maybe i’m being too much.

maybe they don’t even want to be here with me.

maybe i’m a deadweight.

you act like they’re doing you a favour by talking to you, until you lose yourself and the pleasure of loving yourself.

you start thinking of others, so much that you forget that the first one on your mind should be you.

this is such a common feeling, but very few speak about it. perhaps they find it embarrassing, after all it is hard enough to come to terms with it, so sharing it with more and more people just seems to be too much.

now, let’s start from where all of this reasoning is wrong.

nobody is doing nobody any favours. if people keep you company it’s because they genuinely want to be by your side, not because they’re expecting some payment out of you.

you don’t need to pretend or hide your interests just so that you can better fit in.

if they’re the good company that Allah ﷻ has written for you, they’ll stay even if you show them a world of weirdness.

if they’re not, then trust me when i say… Allah will bless you with even better. because it is always like this, and the thing you lose is nothing compared to the reward that comes after.

so no, you don’t need to walk on eggshells.

you don’t need to silence your mind.

you don’t need to erase your person.

Allah ﷻ has created you in this way, and you should acknowledge it and welcome it, with all the pain and mistakes, with all the choices and the fears.

all that you need is to keep going. life tends to be hard, and with good company it does feel easier. but do not feel too pressured to make friends, if they don’t feel right. don’t force it, especially if you see yourself slowly slipping, if you find your personality backing into a corner and your world changing colour.

never give up.

never erase yourself for the sake of another person.

never forget who you are.

﷽

you sit there, quietly waiting, mind spiraling and breath hitching.

your hands are raised, your lips parted, as your tongue speaks. word after word, entangling to form your most hidden dreams, wishes, desires. they may seem just whispers to the wind, but they are not unheard by As-Samee’ ﷻ.

your heart settles, and then comes the ‘after’.

will Allah answer my du’a?

will Allah grant me what i wish for?

do i deserve to be granted such favour?

maybe i shouldn’t have asked for this…

you start having doubts, not because you don’t believe in Allah’s power and mercy, but because your nafs keeps whispering these evilness to you.

but here’s what i’d like to tell you, not from my own mind, but from the qur’an.

just from these few ayāt you get a glimpse at how Allah ﷻ wants us to act.

“call upon Me, i will respond to you.”

“I respond to one’s prayer when they call upon Me.”

“I am truly near.”

“and We are closer to him than his jugular vein.”

doesn’t reading this make you feel Allah’s closeness?

He ﷻ has made it clear to us, He listens and, most importantly, he responds.

how to have tawakkul?

1. ask and be patient. sabr is the most important player here. waiting can be hard, but there is reward after patience.

2. no matter the answer, believe that it will be what is best for you. Allah knows you better than yourself and better than your own mother, so He absolutely knows what you need (and perhaps what you need is also what you want).

3. live your life. because one answer will certainly come. Allah doesn’t ignore a servant who has come to Him, asking Him for His favours.

also, i want to share something i read that umar ibn al khattab رضي اللہ عنه said.

"إِنِّي لَا أَحْمِلُ هَمَّ الْإِجَابَةِ، وَلَكِنْ أَحْمِلُ هَمَّ الدُّعَاءِ، فَإِذَا أُلْهِمْتُ الدُّعَاءَ فَإِنَّ الْإِجَابَةَ مَعَهُ."

"I do not carry the concern of the answer, but rather I carry the concern of the supplication; for if I am inspired to supplicate, then the answer is with it."

the disease and the cure, pg. 38

so ask your Lord ﷻ and have certainty that He is ٱلْسَّمِيعُ ٱلْمُجِيبُ, the All-Hearing and the Answerer of Prayers.

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It was a word I’d heard so many times growing up - from my parents, relatives, friends, teachers.

A word that never really felt strange. Until it did.

I was raised in a western country, one where kufr (disbelief) prevailed over everything else. It was hard trying to hold onto my identity as a Muslimah in such a corrupted ambience.

My mum would always tell me, “Khawla, you should not act like them. You should do good, pray and fast, read Qur’an and be firm on the path of Allah ﷻ so that you’ll enter Jannah”.

I listened to her, but following exactly what she taught me wasn’t easy.

You know when you used to have homework, but you just didn’t feel like doing it, but eventually you had to? That’s how I felt towards the actions that were supposed to bring me closer to Him ﷻ.

I started treating salah like a burden and watched my Christian/atheist friends live their lives like they were actors in a movie I so desperately wished to be part of - as a main character though, not as a background character who was only there for the sake of diversity.

I don’t exactly know where it started.

Maybe it was thanks to Allah sending me reminders through my parents.

Maybe it was the continuous videos that would show up to me on Instagram or TikTok.

Maybe it was my soul craving a real contact with her rabb, not a flat one.

My perception changed. I always think of this ayah in Surah An-Nur and almost cry every single time. Because Allah ﷻ could have indeed made my life like those ‘friends’ of mine I so envied. But, instead, He chose to guide me and make me one of the muslimat mu’minat, upon the true tawhid, not wishing for this Dunya anymore like i used to.

It was a gradual change, and of course there is still room for improvement, but what i want to say, over and over again is alhamdulillah.

May Allah make us from among those He is pleased with, from among those who’ll be told:

سبحانك اللهمَّ وبحمدِك أشهدُ أنْ لا إلهَ إلا أنت أستغفرُكَ وأتوبُ إليك

Everyday I hold onto His guidance like it’s a precious stone, hoping to always carry it with me safely until the day I meet Him ﷻ, in sha’Allah.

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