1. My name is Aisha, but I’m known as Ayoola.

I’m the firstborn of five siblings.

So naturally, I move around them like a hawk.

Nobody should stress my siblings when I’m around.

Firstborn duties are not for the weak.

2. I’m a daddy’s girl.

Yes, even though I’m the firstborn.

My dad doesn’t use me to play at all.

There’s just something special about being a daddy’s girl.

And yes, I enjoy every bit of it. 🤍

3. I’m a freshly graduated linguist and English student. 🎓

I finished my bachelor’s degree, so technically, I’m now a graduate.

Funny enough, I once wanted to become a lawyer.

But life looked at me and said, “Naa, let’s try some other course.😭

4. I love writing stories.

Give me friendship, betrayal, school life, money problems and a plot twist.

I’m already interested. 😂

I love creating stories people can actually relate to.

Writing is one of the things that lets me express myself.

5. I love reading romance stories.

There’s something about getting lost in someone else’s story.

I enjoy the emotions, the drama and all the little twists.

Sometimes I’ll say, “Just one more chapter.”

And suddenly, it’s ridiculously late.

6. I LOVE LOVE. 🥹❤️

I love seeing people genuinely happy and in love.

I’m always rooting for love when it’s healthy, honest and mutual.

Maybe that’s also why I’m such a sucker for romance stories.

And yes… I still want my own love story someday. 🤭

7. I love cooking.

But please, let the people eating be around four. 😂

I enjoy cooking when it’s small and comfortable.

Cooking for a whole crowd? That one is between you and God.

I’ll gladly eat the food though.

8. I LOVE football.

And yes, Manchester United is my club.

Supporting United has built character, honestly.

Sometimes happiness, sometimes suffering.

But we move regardless. ❤️

9. I love crime-related films.

Give me a good mystery and I’m seated.

I enjoy trying to figure out what happened before the movie reveals it.

The more confusing the plot, the more interested I become.

I love that “wait… WHAT?” moment. 😂

10. I love music A LOT. 🎧

I literally listen to music throughout the day.

At this point, music isn’t just something I enjoy.

It has become part of me.

There is almost always a song playing somewhere around me.

11. I love gist.

I genuinely enjoy talking about things.

If we’re comfortable with each other, just know we’re talking.

I can listen, contribute and somehow extend the conversation.

There is always something to gist about.

12. I’m actually a shy person.

Yes, I know I talk a lot when I’m comfortable.

But put me around people I don’t know and suddenly I don’t know what to do with myself.

I usually need time to warm up.

Once I’m comfortable though… good luck.

13. I relate to people A LOT.

I tend to understand and feel people’s emotions deeply.

Sometimes I care more than I probably should.

Maybe that’s also why I can get hurt easily.

I just have a soft heart for people.

14. I’m an overthinker.

One small thing can become a full investigation in my head.

Someone can say “okay” and I’ll be wondering what kind of okay that was.

My brain does not know how to simply leave things alone.

I’m learning to take things as they come.

15. I experience anxiety and sometimes panic attacks.

It’s something I’m learning to understand about myself.

Some moments can feel overwhelming, even when nothing looks wrong from the outside.

I’m learning to be patient with myself through those moments.

And I’m learning that I don’t always have to have everything under control. 🤍

16. I sleep A LOT. 🌚

I genuinely enjoy being in bed.

Sometimes I wonder if I was born tired. 😭

I just hope sleep doesn’t eventually finish me because I love it too much.

17. I’m always eating late. 😭

Sometimes I can be so hungry and still postpone eating.

I can literally be starving and somehow not even feel hungry.

My terrible eating habits started way too early, and I’ve had to learn to take eating properly seriously.

Because apparently, “I’m not hungry” is just a normal word to me.

18. I LOVE bread.

Bread has never really disappointed me.

Morning, afternoon,it understands me. 😂

Sometimes you don’t need a complicated meal.

Just give me good bread and let me be happy.

19. I love cats. 🐈‍⬛

I love dogs too, but cats have my heart more.

There’s just something about them that I really love.

If I see a cute cat, my attention is immediately gone. 😂

Cats are definitely my favourites.

20. I’m not that pretty.

But I’ve learned that beauty isn’t only about looking perfect.

There’s something beautiful about being kind, funny, caring and genuinely yourself.

I’m learning to appreciate the person I am.

And honestly, I think that matters more. 🤍

21. I’ve always wanted to have “my person.”

You know… that one person you can always talk to and share things with.

I won’t lie, I still want that.

But sometimes life has its own timetable.

So for now… it is what it is. 🤷🏽‍♀️

22. I love engaging with people’s posts.

I like commenting, replying and making people feel noticed.

If I enjoy what you posted, I’ll probably say something.

Sometimes one nice comment can genuinely make someone’s day.

So yes, you’ll probably find me somewhere in the comments.

23. I value honesty.

I’d rather hear the truth than be comforted with a lie.

I also try to be honest with people.

I don’t like pretending to be something I’m not.

What you see is mostly what you get.

24. I’m not the best at keeping secrets.

Not because I want to betray anyone.

I just really love talking.

But if something is genuinely private, I understand that it should stay private.

Still… my mouth and my gist have a complicated relationship.

25. I love relatable humour.

If I see something and think, This is literally me, I’m finished.

I love memes that feel like somebody has been monitoring my life.

26. I have a very soft and poetic side.

I can be unserious one minute.

Then suddenly I want something deep, emotional and beautiful.

I love words that actually make people feel something.

Maybe that’s another reason I love writing.

27. I love plot twists.

I don’t want to know everything from the beginning.

Give me something unexpected.

Make me question everybody in the story.

If I guess the ending too early, I’m disappointed.

28. I’m very particular about things I create.

If something doesn’t feel right, I know immediately.

My most famous response is probably, “Another one.”

I’ll keep trying until it finally gives me the feeling I wanted.

At this point, “another one” is basically my brand slogan.

29. I have my own “twin sister.”

Not actually my twin, but come on, she’s my sister,my cousin @fatimah, my obsessed MF. ❤️

She have her own special place in my heart.

I love her deeply, even when she stress me.

30. I’m still becoming. 🤍

I’m a Muslim who loves praying, a freshly graduated linguist, a writer, a football lover and a music addict.

I’m shy but talkative, soft but stubborn, emotional always laughing in serious situations but still learning.

I love people, love, stories, cats, bread, gist, sleep and creating things that make people feel seen.

I’m just Aisha,also known as Ayoola,and yes, I finished my bachelor’s degree… now I’m looking for the bachelor. 😂🤍

There is a particular kind of love many of us grew up with.

It was loud sometimes.

It was strict.

It was protective.

It was expressed through food placed on the table, school fees paid on time, clothes bought when the old ones no longer fit, and prayers whispered over us before we left the house.

Our parents worked hard to give us things they never had.

They carried responsibilities quietly.

They survived difficult seasons without telling us how heavy they were.

And in many ways, they loved us deeply.

But sometimes, love and pain grow up in the same house.

We grew up hearing things like,

"Why can't you be like your brother?"

"Stop crying."

"Children should be seen and not heard."

"After everything I've done for you?"

At the time, we didn't have words for what those things made us feel.

We simply accepted them as part of growing up.

If our parents shouted, we adjusted.

If they compared us, we tried harder.

If we were hurt, we learned to keep quiet.

If we wanted to explain ourselves, we were sometimes told we were talking back.

So we learned something very early:

Sometimes, being a good child meant hiding how you felt.

And perhaps that is why many of us grew up knowing how to be strong but not always knowing how to be vulnerable.

We learned how to say, "I'm fine," even when we weren't.

We learned to apologize quickly.

We learned to avoid difficult conversations.

We learned to work through exhaustion because resting felt like laziness.

We learned to chase approval because being praised felt like proof that we were finally doing something right.

Nobody called it anything.

It was simply,

"That's how African parents are."

We laughed about it.

We turned it into jokes.

We shared memes about strict mothers and fathers.

And sometimes, the jokes really were funny.

But as we got older, we began noticing that some of those childhood experiences followed us into adulthood.

They followed us into our friendships.

Into our relationships.

Into the way we speak to ourselves.

Into the way we handle mistakes.

Into the way we receive love.

Some of us became afraid of disappointing people.

Some became uncomfortable saying what they needed.

Some struggled to accept compliments because they were more familiar with criticism.

Some learned to believe that love had to be earned.

And perhaps the saddest part is that many of our parents were learning too.

They were raising us with the tools they inherited.

Many of them grew up in homes where emotions were rarely discussed.

Where children obeyed because that was the only language adults knew.

Where survival mattered more than having difficult conversations about feelings.

They became adults carrying their own unfinished stories.

Then they became parents.

And without realizing it, sometimes they passed pieces of those stories down to us.

This does not make every hurtful action acceptable.

Understanding where pain came from does not mean pretending it didn't hurt.

But perhaps it allows us to look at our parents with a little more complexity.

They were not simply parents.

They were once children too.

Children who had fears.

Children who made mistakes.

Children who wanted to be loved.

Children who were also figuring life out.

Maybe they didn't always get it right.

And neither will we.

But perhaps our generation has an opportunity to do something different.

We can appreciate what our parents sacrificed without pretending everything was perfect.

We can be grateful for the food they provided and still wish they had listened more.

We can appreciate their protection and still learn that love does not have to make us afraid.

We can respect them and still create boundaries.

We can say,

"I know you loved me."

And also,

"Some things hurt me."

Those sentences can exist together.

Because gratitude does not erase pain.

And acknowledging pain does not erase love.

Maybe healing is not about blaming the people who raised us.

Maybe it is about understanding ourselves well enough to decide what ends with us.

The shouting.

The comparisons.

The silence.

The fear of vulnerability.

The belief that affection must be earned.

The idea that being strong means never admitting you're hurting.

We don't have to carry everything simply because it was handed to us.

Some things can stop here.

We can learn to apologize without humiliation.

To correct without destroying someone's confidence.

To listen without immediately judging.

To love without making someone afraid of losing that love.

To raise future children who know that respect and tenderness can exist together.

Perhaps that is the quiet work of healing.

Not rewriting our childhood.

Not pretending our parents were perfect.

Not pretending we were perfect either.

Just taking what was beautiful, understanding what was painful, and choosing what deserves to continue.

Because every generation leaves something behind.

Some inheritances are money.

Some are names.

Some are traditions.

And some are wounds nobody talks about.

But we get to decide what we carry forward.

And maybe the most meaningful thing we can inherit from our parents is not their pain, but their strength—

while learning to use that strength to build something softer.

Something healthier.

Something our children won't have to heal from.

Maybe that is how love grows across generations:

not by becoming perfect,

but by becoming more aware,

more gentle,

and brave enough to do better.

There was a time, Being in your twenties simply means figuring things out on your own

You don't need to have your dream career already. You don't need to own a car, travel to different countries, start a successful business, or have your entire future mapped out.

You are allowed to be uncertain.

You are allowed to take your time.

You are allowed to simply exist without feeling like you were already behind.

Then social media came in

10 minutes scrolling on social media, and you'll probably see someone your age buying a car, travelling abroad, getting a new job, graduating with impressive results, starting a business, getting married, or seemingly living the life you've been hoping for.

And suddenly, you put your phone down and wonder, “What am I even doing with my life?”

That question is becoming more common than we realise.

We Are Constantly Watching Other People's Milestones

One of the strangest things about social media is how easily it makes everyone else's progress visible.

You see the graduation pictures, but you don't see the years of uncertainty that came before them.

You see the new job announcement, but not the countless applications that were rejected.

You see the vacation, but not the months of planning or saving behind it.

You see the happy relationship, but not the difficult conversations that happen away from the camera.

You see the success, but rarely the struggle.

And somehow, we're comparing all of that to our own lives.

We're comparing our unfinished stories to someone's carefully selected highlights.

No wonder we feel behind.

Social Media Has Changed What Success Looks Like

Success used to be personal.

Now, it sometimes feels like success has a specific appearance.

A beautiful apartment.

A good phone.

Expensive clothes.

Frequent vacations.

A thriving business.

A successful relationship.

Thousands of followers.

A perfectly organised life.

The list never ends.

And when we don't have these things, it's easy to start believing that something is wrong with us.

But what if success doesn't have to look like that?

What if your definition of a good life is completely different from someone else's?

Maybe you're still figuring things out.

Maybe you're taking a slower route.

Maybe you're working towards something nobody else can see yet.

That doesn't mean you're failing.

The Pressure to Always Be Doing Something

Social media has also created this strange pressure to always be productive.

There's always another thing you could be doing.

Learn a skill.

Read a book.

Start a business.

Exercise.

Build your personal brand.

Network.

Make money.

Create content.

Wake up early.

Sleep early.

Drink more water.

Improve yourself.

And somehow, you're expected to accomplish all of this while still enjoying your life.

Eventually, even resting can start to feel like a crime.

You spend an hour doing absolutely nothing and suddenly feel guilty because someone online is talking about how they wake up at 5 a.m. every morning to “grind.”

But here's something we need to remember:

You are a human being, not a productivity project.

Resting doesn't mean you're lazy.

Taking your time doesn't mean you're wasting your life.

You don't have to turn every hour of your day into an opportunity to achieve something.

Comparison Doesn't Always Look Like Jealousy

Sometimes we think comparison means wanting what someone else has.

But it can be much quieter than that.

You can genuinely be happy for someone and still feel insecure about yourself afterwards.

You can celebrate someone's achievement and then wonder why you haven't achieved something similar.

You can be perfectly content with your life until you open your phone.

Five minutes ago, you were proud of yourself.

Now you're wondering why you aren't further ahead.

That's how comparison works.

It quietly changes the way you see your own progress.

It makes you ask:

“Am I doing enough?”

“Why does everyone seem to be moving forward except me?”

“Am I wasting my time?”

And the more you scroll, the louder those questions can become.

Everyone Has Their Own Timeline

Maybe this is something we need to remind ourselves of more often:

People are allowed to move at different speeds.

Someone may graduate before you.

Someone may start making money before you.

Someone may travel before you.

Someone may find love before you.

Someone may become successful before you.

None of that means you've failed.

Life isn't a race where everyone is supposed to reach the same milestones at the same age.

Your friend's timeline isn't your deadline.

Their success doesn't reduce the value of your progress.

Instead of constantly asking, “Why am I not where they are?”, perhaps we should start asking:

“Am I becoming the person I want to become?”

Those questions may sound similar, but they lead to completely different ways of looking at life.

Social Media Isn't the Villain

Social media isn't necessarily bad.

It can connect us with people we would never have met otherwise.

It can teach us things.

It can inspire us.

It can give people opportunities.

It can introduce us to new ideas, careers, communities and experiences.

The problem begins when we forget that social media is a collection of moments, not someone's entire life.

People post the birthday.

They don't always post the loneliness.

They post the achievement.

They don't always post the failures.

They post the vacation.

They don't always post the months they spent preparing for it.

They post the smile.

They don't always post what happened before the picture was taken.

We need to remember that there is always a story behind the post.

Maybe You're Not Falling Behind

The next time you scroll through someone's achievement and suddenly feel like you're doing nothing with your life, pause.

Put the phone down.

Look at your own journey.

Think about how far you've come.

Think about the things you have overcome that nobody online knows about.

Think about the small victories that never became a post.

Not every achievement needs an audience.

Not every stage of your life needs to look impressive.

And not every season needs to be productive.

Your life doesn't become less valuable because someone else's looks better on a screen.

Maybe you're not behind.

Maybe you're simply growing at your own pace.

Maybe you don't need to catch up with everyone.

Maybe you just need to stop measuring your life against people whose entire lives you don't even know.

Maybe you're not failing at life.

Maybe you're just looking at too many people's lives at once.

Thank you 🥹

I hoped you enjoyed reading it.