More money. More success. More opportunities. More followers. More friends. More experiences. More, more, more.

And if you say you don't want all of it, people look at you like you're mediocre or something.

But what if I'm not? What if i just want a quiet life?

Sometimes I imagine my future and it isn't as loud as the life I see people building.

I don't want to wake up every morning feeling the need to conquer the world.

I want to wake up and not be worried about money.

I want to have a job I don't hate.

I want to be able to buy things without calculating what i'll have left afterwards.

I want a home that feels like mine.

I want friends I can call without wondering if i'm disturbing them.

I want to travel sometimes.

I want to dress nicely because i feel like it.

I want to have enough money to help my family without destroying myself in the process.

I want to laugh a lot. I want to sleep well.

I want to have people around me who make life feel lighter.

And that's it.

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When I say it out loud, it sounds like a lot. But online, it somehow feels like nothing.

Because there is always somebody doing more. Wanting more.

Someone younger than you is making more money.

Someone your age has moved abroad.

Someone has bought a house.

Someone is travelling every other month.

Someone is getting married.

Someone has started a company.

Someone is living the life you thought you would be living by now.

And suddenly your own life starts to feel small.

I hate that.

Because sometimes i think we're not even unhappy with our lives.

We're just constantly being shown lives that make ours look insufficient.

Maybe i don't need to be everywhere.

Maybe i don't need to turn every hobby into a business.

Maybe i don't need to monetize every talent I have.

Maybe I can just be good at something without immediately asking how much money it can make me.

Maybe I can want money without wanting my entire identity to become it

Maybe I can be ambitious and still want to rest.

I think i'm slowly learning that there is a difference between wanting a better life and being dissatisfied with the life you currently have.

I want more. Ofcourse I do.

But I don't want to spend my entire life chasing the next thing and then look back and realize I was never actually present for any of it.

I want a life that looks good to me. Not the one that looks impressive to everyone else

And maybe that's enough.

Maybe having it all doesn't mean having everything.

Maybe it means having the things that matter to you.

And being okay with leaving the rest behind.

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I had this friend. We were close. Really close. the kind of close where you don't have to explain yourself too much because the person already knows you. She knew the little things.The big things. The things i probably didn't even realize i had told her.

But then, something happened! Nothing really happened

Nobody fought.

Nobody did anything terrible

We just became busy.

We went to different schools. Studied different things, met different people, lived completely different lives.

At first, i don't think either of us noticed. We still checked up on each other.

Which was actually funny because there was a time when “how are you?” could keep us talking for three hours.

I didn't know what was happening in her life anymore. She didn't know what was happening in mine.

I remember texting her asking "are we becoming strangers?. Her reply was "no we are just living different lives now,"

we just kept going.

Until birthdays and new years became the only thing that reminded us we were still friends.

And then we disappeared again till another year.

Then one year, one of us didn't wish the other happy birthday. And that was that.

And it bothers me,how quietly people leave your life. How fast we outgrow friendships

You don't call. Then you don't call again. Then three months pass. Then six. Then a year.

I have other friends. And sometimes i think about them too.

I wonder if we’d outgrow the friendship too. Because i've seen how easily it can happen.

The knowledge that something can be good and still end. That you can love somebody, genuinely love having them in your life, and still wake up one day and realize you haven't spoken in eight months.

It makes me want to hold people closer, but it also makes me scared to.

Maybe some people aren't meant to stay for a very long time.

maybe some are only meant to know one version of you.

Or maybe we don't really outgrow Friendship,we just learn to live with their absence.

And maybe that's okay.

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I agree with Adeife and before you carry me on your head, sit with me for a while.

Wanting to make 100 million naira from your business or a six figure salary, doesn't make you ambitious. You can make serious money and have no bigger vision beyond consumption.

A woman can be ambitious about different things, becoming an excellent mother, becoming a great writer, pursuing academia, build a business or simply creating a life that she genuinely wants.

Ambition is about the intensity of what you're willing to pursue, not just the amount entering your account.

Now most of y'all are triggered by the "Nigerian woman are not ambitious enough".

Of course the video is not for the women running a million dollar business

It's not for the women who left her hometown to build a career in a new city.

Not the woman pursuing PhD.

It's not for you who knows within yourself that your not just looking for money to survive.

They are some women who wants financial stability, they wanna own properties, travel and all that but they spent years waiting for a man to "sort out the life" that's questioning.

Some women who only for to eat and pay bills, hence the reason for her video

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I love this man so much .

There is something about watching Asherkine that does something to my chest. It is the way he walks into someone's life, stays long enough to actually see them, and leaves them different. Better. Lighter.

He is Santa that never stops giving. And I mean that beyond the gifts. He gives people dignity. He gives strangers the feeling that somebody cares. In a world that moves fast and looks away, he stops every single time.

I want to be like that someday. I want to have so much , not to keep it, but to pour it into people the way he does. To touch homes. To change days. To make someone feel seen just because I showed up.

He makes generosity look like the most beautiful thing a person can do with their life. And honestly, he is the reason I believe it is possible.

I don't think Victoire knows what she does to the people watching her.

The energy, the grace, the way she carries herself,she is who she say she is and the world is just catching up.

She is beautiful in the way that goes beyond what you see. it is in how she speaks, how she moves, how everything about her feels so intentional.

I love her aesthetics it's like an extension of her. Warm. I stumbled on her page this year and suddenly my standards for everything goes up a little.

She is the kind of woman that makes you want to be more , more present, more intentional, more yourself. Just because she exists so fully in who she is.

And that quietly, is one of the most inspiring things a person can do.

There are people you come across on the internet and something about them just stops you. Moh is one of those people for me.

It is not even the content first. It is the confidence. The kind that is not performative, not loud for the sake of being heard. He just knows who he is. He knows what he wants. And he moves like someone who has already made peace with the fact that it is going to happen , it is just a matter of when.

In a world where everyone is rushing, chasing numbers, desperate to be seen, Moh is laser focused on one thing, maxing out every single thing he has. He said it himself. He said he’s going to max his potential till he's freaking empty. Because most of us are busy playing small , scared of being too much and here's this man making a vow to himself to give it everything till there's nothing left to give.

An author. A storyteller. A builder. And he carries all of it with confidence, certainty. The kind that makes you look at your own life and ask how do I believe in myself the way this person believes in himself?

That is what inspiration actually looks like. Not someone telling you to be great. Someone just being it, right in front of you, and making you feel like you can too.

He wants to sell out the O2 arena someday. And honestly? I believe him.

I used to think negotiating a salary was something other people did. Confident people. People with mentors, or MBAs, or at least one who worked in finance and could tell them what “market rate” actually meant.

I didn’t have that. And I’d guess a lot of you reading this didn’t either.

So instead, most of us do what feels safer: we take the number we’re offered, we say thank you, and we quietly wonder for the next two years whether we left money on the table. Spoiler?? we almost always did.

The real reason we don’t ask.

It’s not that we don’t want more money. It’s that money conversations feel like doing too much. Ask for too much and you look greedy or naive. Ask for too little and you’ve just underpriced yourself for the entire time you’re at that company, because raises are almost always calculated as a percentage of your starting number.

That second part is the one nobody tells you. Your first salary at a job isn’t just this year’s paycheck . it’s the baseline every future raise gets built on top of. A weak first number compounds for years.

What actually helps

A few things that have nothing to do with confidence and everything to do with preparation:

Know the range before you’re in the room. Sites like Glassdoor or even just asking people in your field on LinkedIn can give you a real number to anchor to. Walking in with a range beats walking in with a guess.

When you ask for more and the other person pauses, resist the urge to fill that silence by immediately lowering your ask. The pause isn’t rejection, it’s them thinking.

Separate your worth from the number. This one’s less tactical and more mental. A lower offer doesn’t mean you’re worth less. It usually means budget constraints, timing, or a company just trying its luck. Negotiating isn’t confrontation , it’s a normal, expected part of the process on both sides.

The bigger pattern

This isn’t really about one negotiation. It’s about the fact that most of us were never taught to see money as something we’re allowed to shape, only something that happens to us. School doesn’t cover it. Most workplaces don’t either. So we default to gratitude instead of strategy.

You don’t need an MBA to change that. You just need to start asking the question you’ve been avoiding: is this actually what I’m worth, or just what I was offered?

I’d love to hear your own experience with salary negotiation or the moment you realized nobody was going to teach you this stuff either

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When I heard that, I was mad.

Angryyyy.

But I didn’t even know what to do to hurt him.

So I started small small.

I took two of his footwears and threw it in the bush at the back of our house.

Balance.

I took one of his shirts from the clothesline…

and I tore it.

I even took the key of his padlock (the one he hid outside for his roommate).

I took it 😭

They had to break the lock to enter.

But it still wasn’t enough.

While I was still thinking of what next…

his girlfriend now came to my DM.

Telling me to stay away from her man…

or she’ll give me a durttyyyy slap.

Ahaaaaa,that was it.

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I created a new WhatsApp account.

And I told her everything.

How he’s been cheating on her.

How he told me he didn’t ask her out, that they just started dating.

How he’s planning to break up with her because of “differences.”

I even told her how she’ll come and cook for him…

and he’ll fetch some and bring for me.

(And I’ll eat o. Make I reject food ke?? 😭)

I didn’t tell her directly.

Because she fit no believe.

So I made it look like it was from another person.

With full details.

With evidence 😌

She confronted him.

And now…

they are no longer together.

We also stopped talking.

Because of course… he knew I was behind it 😭

Do I care?

Not really.

But there’s just this small satisfaction that comes with the fact that they are no longer together.

And yh…

I did that 😌

So we went back to doing shii and I promised not to tell his girlfriend.

Omo.

The level of disrespect I took??

Mehn.

We would be in the middle of a conversation and once Miles appears…

next thing, his whole personality will change.

From nice to mean

He’ll start acting mean and arrogant like I’m disturbing him.

Me, with the little dignity I have left, I’ll take my whisk and leaveee😭

I know you’re already saying “omo this girl mumu o”

Yes.

I was.

But the thing with men is…

they have sweet mouth.

And they can lieeeee 😭

Anytime he disrespects me, I’ll say “I’m done.”

I’ll leave him alone and start my healing journey jejely.

Next thing… he has found his way back.

And his usual line:

“This is against my principle… but I miss you.”

Omo.

In my head I’m like,

“damn… I miss you too my sweet boy” 😭

And the times he abandoned me??

Oh Lord.

I cried.

I crodeee.

I wepttt.

I wish I can send voice note explaining how much I cried.

I’ll cry to sleep.

Wake up… continue crying.

Mind you, I was in my finals.

I’ll be crying seriously, then my project partner will call:

“Our work needs correction.”

So now I’m doing project and crying at the same time.

Multitasking 😭

And once he comes back…

I will run into his arms.

Like nothing happened.

He even knew I was in a bad space because of him…

and he’ll still be giving me advice 😭

Towards the end of finals sha, I started healing small small.

Started going out.

Making friends.

I no really send am again.

Now HE started getting mad.

That I’m not miserable anymore.

That I’m caring less.

Mind you, we were lodge mates.

I’ll go to his room to see his roommate,

be laughing and gisting…

and Isheri will just be there 😭😂

We were cool…

I just didn’t rate him again.

One day we now had a “closure” conversation.

This boy said he started dating Miles just to hurt me.

Did it hurt me? yes.

Have I moved on? also yes.

Now YOU are angry that I’m meeting other niggas??

Lol.

Then I heard something…

I don’t even remember how I heard it.

But I heard.

This boy went to tell his babe that I desperately want him back.

That I was the one that begged him to date me.

That I’m not even an option.

Me????

Meeeee???? 😭

You that was coming back every time??

You that was professing love up and down??

Ah.

Tomorrow for part 3 o.

Because shame has descended on me again 😭

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Mumu me abi?

Because why will you date somebody you’ll be seeing every single day??

No escape route.

Anyways, one year later we broke up.

Story for another day.

Tell me why this boy got a new girlfriend in less than two weeks…

Less. Than. Two. Weeks.

Just that she wasn't new, recruitment was going on behind the scenes.

Me, I said I was chill with it.

Yk… strong girl. Unbothered babe.

Damn!!

Because I still had feelings for him, I asked him,

“Can we still be friends ……..with some benefits?”

His response was “We’ll see.”

And I… saw 😭

Mind you, this boy did not even agree that he was dating the girl.

Let’s call her Miles.

And him… Isheri 😂

But this Miles was loving him with full chest.

Premium love.

Anybody with sense would know they were dating.

Me?

I said no.

I was in denial

Because there’s no way this boy has a girlfriend and is still doing nonsense with me.

And me, I cannot be doing shii with somebody’s man.

(In my defense, he said they were just friends. I chose to believe him 😭)

So he was doing relationship with Miles…

and me, I was just a friend

Then one day, I got angry, I started threatening him.

I told him I would tell his babe that we are exes and we are fucking

He said okay.

He thought I was joking.

I was not joking at all.

I told her.

With evidence.

And this girl did not hate him for lying

I became her enemy 😭

She now saw me as a threat , she didn't see her man as a problem at all

I actually was 😌

I did not want that relationship to prosper at all.

Now….

I hated Isheri.

But I still liked him small.

But the love was louder.

So what did I now do?

I went back to him…

and I begged 😭

Omo I begged

I said I was sorry for snitching.

Said I didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

Ha.

He forgave me.

And we went back to doing nonsense again.

My people, I cannot type again.

I can feel shame surround me

Part 2 tomorrow 😭

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