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For books, I tend to be generous with my ratings. If it’s a queer author and story, I always round up on Goodreads even if I gave it a half or quarter star on Storygraph. (Yes, even when it ends in .25 despite that not being how math works. It’s how gay math works!) I try to be careful on how I word reviews, making sure it’s clear I don’t think it’s a BAD book, just some aspects didn’t work for ME. I write them as if the author might go against everyone who loves them’s advice and reads their Goodreads reviews. If it’s some random straight man (let’s be honest, probably Stephen King), I’m going to say whatever my little heart desires, because a) if he reads his Goodreads reviews I’ll buy the hotel from the Shining and b) my one review is not going to tip the scales of his hundreds of thousands of reviews. And, frankly, c) a rich, famous, straight, cis, white man’s ego can afford to go down a peg or two. I’m not worried about him. I’m also not THAT concerned with most movies on Letterboxd, since those, as far as I know, aren’t used for any kind of metric in the grand scheme of things. (Like a publisher might consider a Goodreads rating before signing an author, but I’m not sure any studio is looking at Letterboxd before signing a director. I could be wrong!)

What’s interesting to me is when my opinion of a book changes over time. Even for this book I just finished; last night when I finished it, I gave it a firm 3 star review because I was pissed at the main character, who I hated, and was mad she ended up with the girl she ended up with, because I thought the other girl deserved better, even though I was reading a romance book and that’s not how those books go. (It was a rare experience, to read a first person POV and NOT side with the narrator. She was exhausting and at every turn she was loud and wrong.) However, as I reflected on it in the cold light of day (actually the very muggy light of day) I realized that didn’t seem SUPER fair. Yes, I hated the main character, but I also read the book in two sittings. It was an easy read. It was gay. The writing itself was fine. Only SOME things about the plot bothered me. But I looked at some books I’ve recently rated 3.5 stars and I didn’t like this one as much as those! So I compromised and upped it to 3.25.

But like, for why? Who is this negotiation for?

A similar thing sometimes happens to me when I’m looking at past reviews to give recommendations, or when I’m gathering my ratings together for Media Mayhem. It’s usually that I remember a book more fondly than I rated it; I’ll think I gave something 4 stars but I actually gave it 3.5. But sometimes it’s the opposite! I’ll be thinking about the book in my head as a 4-star book but I gave it 4.5. And I don’t know if either feeling is more right; is your true opinion of a book how you felt when you first finished it? Or after you’ve had time to think about it longer? I typically don’t change my ratings even if I don’t agree with Past Valerie on them anymore, but sometimes I do if my memory is kinder than my initial reaction. Because maybe the problems I had with it weren’t that big of a deal after all if I don’t remember them after a few months.

I almost wish there were multiple ratings within the rating. Like a different set of five stars for overall writing quality, overall plot, and overall vibes. Because sometimes I love the way a book is written language-wise, but hate the plot. Or love the plot and vibes but wish the writing had been tighter. It’s like how on Letterboxd, I wish there were two ratings. One for how I thought the movie was, quality-wise, and one for how much I personally enjoyed it. Because those things are sometimes diametrically opposed! Sometimes I know a movie is trash but I love it anyway! Sometimes I know a movie is technically brilliant but I was bored the whole time! (I also wish, if not two separate ratings, Letterboxd was at least out of 10 stars. Sometimes 3.5 feels too low but 4 feels too high, you know?)

I also don’t know why I worry so much about ratings in general because in the end, the game is made up and the points don’t matter. It’s why I never just throw stars up and walk away and always write a little something, because what I mean when I say 3 stars might be different than what you mean when you say 3 stars; and hell one of my 3 stars might mean “I liked this fine” and another 3-star rating might mean I thought it was mid! So just tell me what you liked about it and I’ll do the same.

Paid subscribers, keep reading to hear about my bonkers week so far. (Lemon, it’s Tuesday.)

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I remember the first celebrity death that impacted me. I was 11 years old, and I remember exactly where I was standing, at the end of the table in the kitchen of my childhood home. I don’t know if I was coming home from school or coming down for dinner, but the small TV that sat atop our refrigerator was on, and it announced the death of Shari Lewis, the star and puppeteer of Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. As a child raised on PBS, Shari Lewis was a daily staple in my young life. I had a toy Lamp Chop I would puppeteer myself to make my brother laugh. I hadn’t yet considered that the people in my television were real enough that they could be afflicted by the same things regular people did. I hadn’t considered that my favorite virtual babysitters could die. But I was also old enough (or, at least, overthinky enough) to be a little surprised at the depth of my grief. I was aware I didn’t really know this person, and I was a little taken aback by how hard it hit me. It felt irrational, but there it was, my grief; tangible and real.

Of course, over the years, I grew a little more used to this odd version of grief. We lost so many great people I only knew from watching them tell stories. From people I’d “known” since childhood like Robin Williams to people I had only seen in work as an adult like Chadwick Boseman, I mourned plenty of people I didn’t actually know. I mourned people alongside their fictional characters, like when John Ritter’s death was written into 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter; I was 16 and my heart broke for the character’s wife and daughters, as well as the actor’s castmate and real life family. I mourned people who died way too young; I took Brittany Murphy’s death pretty hard, not only because I was familiar with her work, but because she was only a decade older than me; I viewed her as more of a peer than an elder, age-wise, and it was a shocking loss. It never really gets easier. Maybe also because it often comes as a bit of a surprise since, as I mentioned, we don’t really know these people. So we often don’t see a steady decline. We don’t always hear about their illnesses, or understand how much they’ve progressed. Even people who were public about their health issues, like Eric Dane continuing to act as his ALS worsened, or Shannen Doherty, who was public about her battle with cancer. It’s still hard to hear when they pass, these people who were in our lives, even in some small way.

In the past few years, we’ve lost actors from my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Michelle Trachtenberg, Anthony Stewart Head, and Nicholas Brendon. People who were staples in my life for decades. We just lost Hayden Panettiere, who has been in the public eye since she was so young.

For me, the celebrity death that has, far and wide, affected me the most was when we lost Naya Rivera in 2020. I think there were a lot of reasons for it; for one, I was REALLY into Glee when it was on. Imprinted on that shit like a monkey to a cloth mother. And Santana was my favorite character. Naya’s voice was unreal, Santana was a lesbian, plus she was hilarious. Bonus points for singing the song Valerie. Also, Naya was quite literally my age. We were born exactly three days apart. I had seen her perform live, I had watched the behind-the-scenes vlogs and Instagram stories the Glee cast would post. I was so excited to watch her career post-Glee and believed she was destined for great things. It didn’t help that she died during lockdown when I was already at an emotional low; I’m sure that was also a factor. But gods, I was gutted. I still am, if I’m honest. It’s just so deeply, cosmically unfair.

And that brings us to today, when I found out about Dolly Parton. I’m still numb about it, because it doesn’t seem possible. Dolly Parton was a legend long before I was born. She has been icon status my entire life, and she truly felt untouchable. She was secretly responsible for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and not-so-secretly responsible for the Moderna vaccines, both things that quite literally saved my life. I didn’t even really follow her career that closely, but of course I know so many songs she either sang or wrote or both. I know her impact, her legacy. She’s who I point to as an example of how to be better. When I say “there’s no such thing as an ethical billionaire” and people try to fight me like “what do you want them to do, give away all their money?” I point to her and say, Dolly does it. Dolly is an empire and yet all she did was give back. Donated books to children, donated money to science, hosted telethons to raise money, used her platform to support the LGBTQ+ community, and more. She came from nothing, became an international superstar, but never lost her heart or her kindness. One of the videos I saw on my feed as I was scrolling today was a clip from an interview with Julia Roberts and Dolly Parton and Julia Roberts was saying that it was hot and she was complaining and Dolly never said anything and eventually she finally had to ask her, surely she’s hot under her wig and all that makeup, they’re all miserable, why isn’t she saying anything? And Dolly said that when she was little she wished she would grow up to be rich and famous, and now that she was, she wasn’t going to complain about it. She exemplified a rare spark of gratitude she never let go of. She came from nothing, became one of the most rich and famous people in the world, and never stopped smiling. She was talented and hard working and dedicated and funny and kind. It was a beauty to behold, and it’s really hard to believe she’s gone.

The only positive aspect of that unique kind of celebrity death grief is the ability to mourn as a collective. To know you’re not alone in the pain you feel, to be able to go online and see thousands of people sharing their favorite moments and memories, their favorite works and quotes and pictures. You can read real people’s real experiences working with or meeting them, and hear from their family members and friends. And we can mourn them together.

Dolly Parton was larger than life, and what a life it was. She will remain a legend, and she will never be forgotten. May we all be a little more like Dolly.

“If you see someone without a smile, give them yours.” - Dolly Parton

Paid subscribers, read on for a little something extra.

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As has now been well established, one of the many weird things about me is that, no matter how much I like a show, there is a 50/50 chance I will procrastinate watching the series finale. I talked about it just a few weeks ago when I finally watched the Hacks finale.

This week, I finally finished another show I had been putting off: The Boys. Though I think my reasons for that were a little different. I did like the show a lot, and I am sad it’s gone, but I wasn’t as into the final season as I had hoped I’d be. I think the Gen V spinoff being SO good kind of spoiled me. I was excited that Marie Moreau and her crew (which includes her bi-gender partner Jordan and bisexual best friend Emma) were going to cross over into The Boys proper for the last few episodes, but they ended up being criminally underused in the final battle(s).

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That said, in the finale (final spoiler warning), I’m so, so glad that Homelander was finally defeated. It was so satisfying. There was a minute I was afraid they wouldn’t go there. I was afraid they’d use their new ability to strip people’s powers to make him useless but let him live, despite every horrible thing he has done over the show’s five seasons. Because there’s no rehabilitating a guy like that in a show like this. He had done unthinkable things to countless people, including but not limited to sexual assault and straight-up murder. There’s no reason to believe the man who was just calling himself a god wouldn’t still find ways to manipulate people, skirt responsibility, and cause real harm. Goodness knows we have people like that in real life. So I’m glad they didn’t stop at making him literally powerless, on his knees, groveling. I’m glad they finished the job and put a definite end to him. Otherwise the most mindless of his fans would still worship him. In the show, and in real life. I was gobsmacked the day I learned that this man, this obvious walking metaphor for the dictatorship our country is rocketing towards, this obvious mockery of the far right, was touted as the hero of the show and not the villain by the real life far right. They didn’t see that the show was laughing in their faces. They have no media literacy, so they didn’t get the message that they are the bad guys. They are the ones in the street shouting slurs about “Starlighters” aka people who support a peaceful supe trying to do actual good in the world. They didn’t get it, just like the cops who put Punisher logos on their cars, not understanding that Frank Castle would hate their guts. So I think Homelander had to die. And, frankly, maybe so did Butcher. Because he was becoming the other side of the same coin. He was set to do a little genocide himself. I’m not sure his one final “he aimed his pistol at the sky” moment would have been enough to redeem him or cure him of his anti-supe agenda. Extremes are rarely the answer. (I have no idea how the fanboys felt about this finale and I don’t care to know. This was not a show I engaged with other fans about anywhere on the internet because frankly that seemed scary to me. I was just enjoying my gross little superhero show in peace.)

Of course, the world wasn’t automatically fixed just because Homelander died. There were still people who were benefiting from his regime and would try to keep some of what he set up in place. The corporation who pathed the path for his rise still exists. But it will be so much easier to wrest control back, one position at a time. Ashley tried to keep her ill-gotten role as President and was swiftly outed. It was a hopeful ending, for a show that, as ridiculous as it was, sometimes mirrored our real country too closely. While the solution isn’t the same as we would take in real life, the message is the same: Even the most unbeatable-seeming villains can be defeated.

Which is what brings us to my Big Issue with Daredevil, as a franchise. I have never read the comics, so I’m not sure how things play out there, but I have watched both the Netflix version of the show, and its Official MCU continuation, Daredevil: Born Again. And my problem with that show is, simply put, Kingpin. (And no, not just because Vincent D’Onofrio’s off-putting way of speaking in these shows reminds me too much of my arch nemesis Christopher Walken, but that DOESN’T HELP.) My problem with Wilson Fisk is that he was presented as the Big Bad early in the series, and Daredevil keeps not defeating him. He, too, has become a metaphor for the current administration and the horrors, new and old, our country is facing right now. And yet, Daredevil keeps running into scenarios where he either can’t—or worse, won’t—defeat him. It makes Daredevil look useless, in my opinion. Everyone loves Matt Murdoch, and I don’t really understand why. I like the show well enough; or, at least, I used to. The fighting is cool, I love Karen Page, the sub-villains are interesting. This latest season had some great cameos. Charlie Cox seems perfectly lovely. (Being gay has precluded me from whatever pheromone he emits that makes people lose their minds about him but he’s perfectly fine to look at, I suppose. He kind of looks like every other 40-something famous white guy to me but that could be my male pattern blindness.) But I’m SICK of Wilson Fisk. Both Hawkeye (Kate Bishop version) and Echo have kicked his sorry ass and theoretically defeated him, but somehow he still rose again. Daredevil had him dead to rights, but let him go. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Defeat your main villain and MOVE ON.

I think a smarter show would have kept him as a background villain sending lesser villains to have Daredevil defeat over the years. And they sort of have done that. But Fisk is in it too much. Especially this last season, they even faced off, and yet. And yet. Still we are plagued. It has been over 10 years and five seasons (and counting) and he’s still just there, lurking, being terrible and seemingly unstoppable. It’s exhausting. And what’s the message here? Even a superhuman can’t defeat an admittedly large but otherwise regular man who just wields too much political power? I know Daredevil has his whole sanctimonious “I don’t kill people” schtick, but they tried imprisoning him, they tried rehabilitating him, none of it worked. He’s still out here doing murders and launching “anti-vigilante” campaigns that are actually just an excuse to have unsanctioned militia who can terrorize the city with no restrictions and no consequences. And while “YOU’RE the one who can stop him, WHY WON’T YOU STOP HIM” is indeed a familiar feeling in our country’s current political landscape, Daredevil is supposed to be the “hero” of this story. And I’m not getting hero vibes. I’m getting “this is hopeless” vibes. Not even Matt Murdock’s god can save us now.

I’m starting to suspect it’s at least partially due to The Owen Hunt Problem. Owen Hunt (on Grey’s Anatomy, in case you somehow didn’t know) was a bad man. He had done unforgivable things. He was insufferable every week. And yet, people on set loved working with Kevin McKidd. To his credit, he was GOOD at being THE ABSOLUTE WORST. And I think people liked writing for the asshole character who was almost always wrong. So from where they sat, they couldn’t see our SUFFERING. (Or, more likely, chose to ignore it. Love to make us suffer, those guys.) So maybe they just like having Vincent D’Onofrio around and don’t know how many of us don’t like it. Maybe my friends and I are in the minority and don’t like the horrors of our real life mirrored in the horrors of a fictional world but with absolutely no solution despite them being better equipped to take matters into their own hands. Maybe other people like feeling hopeless. I don’t know. But I sure don’t.

All that to say, I’m glad the finale of The Boys took the hopeful route. Hopefully I won’t have to wait until the series finale of Daredevil (which maybe will be never; women-led shows only get one season, but Daredevil can go on forever apparently...but that’s a rant for another day) to see Fisk defeated.

Because if you’re going to give us such a heavy-handed metaphor, the least you could do is give us a little hope on the side.

Paid subscribers, keep reading for a little something extra about another show I’m watching, plus two new entries to the Good For Her cinematic universe I’ve discovered since last we spoke on the matter.

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It’s one of my favorite genres of media, one that has been around almost as long as media has, though the actual phrase “good for her” has become more popular online in the past few years. You can find the phrase in media reviews, and even lists on Letterboxd dedicated to the genre. And while some do use it for general feminism movies, like Barbie, or just women-fronted movies and shows in general, I am here to talk about the specific “Good for Her” movie where the main female protagonist is doing something objectively “bad”—literally illegal, morally questionable, etc—but for good enough reasons that by the end of it, you find yourself saying, “I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs,” in a way you might not if it were a true story.

Sometimes, like in Furious, the character in question IS posed as the villain of the story...you just also can’t help but side with her, at least a little. Other things that fall into this sub-category include Carrie (book, movie, musical, and likely the upcoming TV show), the book Monstrous by Jessica Lewis, the show Killing Eve, pretty much any adaptation that stars Harley Quinn as a main character (Birds of Prey, the Harley Quinn animated series), and of course, one of the first pieces of media I remember seeing and really deeply feeling the “good for her” feeling: Jennifer’s Body.

Then, of course, there is the subcategory of women who are actively out for revenge, especially against men who wronged them, but anyone really, but the point of view of the movie or TV show isn’t that these people are villains. They’re just doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. Things in this category include the too-short-lived TV show Sweet/Vicious, and the Jennifer Garner movie Peppermint.

And finally (at least, as far as this newsletter goes today), there’s a subcategory of “Good for Her” media where the “her” in question didn’t originally set out for murder-laced revenge, but find that they are capable of more than they thought when pressed against the ropes. This is often found in horror, it’s a subgenre of “Final Girl” stories, but in these the woman doesn’t just survive, she fucks shit up. This category includes both Ready or Not films, They Will Kill You, Hush, and Companion.

There are also some that technically fall into this category where badass women are doing murder, but they don’t fall neatly into one of the above categories, whether it’s because the murders in question are undead like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Last of Us, or because the line between whether they were doing their bad deeds for survival or revenge or both are a bit blurred, like the horrifying mind-fuck of a movie The Perfection.

I could probably write a whole separate list about songs that fit the bill here, so I won’t get too deep down that rabbit hole, but I feel it necessary to shout out that country music actually has a lot of “good for her” songs. Blown Away by Carrie Underwood, Independence Day by Martina McBride, the list goes on. Especially, and my favorite of the songs in this genre, Goodbye Earl. In fact, The Chicks gave us a line in that song that can apply to a LOT of characters in a lot of the media I’ve listed here today: “Turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all.”

The real world can be so deeply unfair at every turn. The misogyny, racism, and homophobia that runs rampant in our society, the patriarchal and capitalist systems that keep us down with a deeply flawed “justice” system that does little to provide any actual justice to marginalized people, especially if the crimes are committed by rich or otherwise privileged white men. Violence against women especially is a hugely under-reported and under-punished crime, and we hear stories about it every single day. So while maybe we wouldn’t necessarily always advise a woman to exact her revenge by doing a murder or two in real life, it can be cathartic to watch a fictional woman, when the systems put in place theoretically to protect her fail miserably, tip the scales in her direction by taking matters into her own hands.

So here’s to the media where the woman comes out on top, even if sometimes that means she’s covered in blood at the end, that has us saying, “You know what? Good for her.”

Paid subscribers, keep reading to learn a little about the video game I started streaming last night.

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This weekend, I watched and reviewed the upcoming show Sterling Point for Autostraddle (keep an eye out for my review that goes up tomorrow!) and it was one of those shows for me. Something about it drew me in and I didn’t even realize it until later but I wasn’t even on my phone while watching it, I was just totally locked in and entranced.

When I get like that with a show, when I love it a lot, I want everyone I know to watch it so I have more people to talk about it with. BUT I also feel weirdly protective of it and don’t want to hear people say bad things about it. I want to live in this bubble of joy and emotion I’m in and not have anyone point out the cracks and flaws. Or worse, just dislike the things I liked about it. As if I personally had any stake in creating the show. It’s an irrational feeling, likely brought on by years of just trying to enjoy things and then seeing fandoms and critics tear things apart in ways I never would.

Now, I don’t mean valid criticism. I’m always open to hearing valid criticism. No show is perfect. But also I don’t want to know if someone found my favorite character annoying, or if the scene that gave me butterflies felt contrived to them. I just want to gush about it and have someone gush back. I want to overanalyze a character’s feelings and motivations and theorize about what they might do next. I just want to enjoy this honeymoon phase a little longer.

I have, over the years, learned that there is often no obvious rhyme or reason to what critics decide to hype up or tank. It never seems to be a matter of opinion; the bigger outlets all tend to agree with each other, which feels unlikely generally speaking. The hopeless optimist in me wonders why they let people who seem to hate TV write TV reviews; too many critics seem to take their job too literally and feel the need to overly criticize. Sometimes a TV show or a movie is just meant to be a good time, and you can find things you enjoy about it instead.

I also just don’t have the temperament for that. I am painfully aware when I’m writing about a show for my professional job on a professional website that there is always a chance someone involved in making it could read it. So when I have criticisms, I try to make it clear whether it’s A Problem (e.g. bad queer representation, harmful stereotypes, etc.) that I feel they do need to hear about, or whether it’s just a personal preference. I also don’t read other people’s reviews until I’ve finished writing mine because I want to be as honest and authentic as I can. I don’t care if mine is the only positive review aggregated on Rotten Tomatoes. If I loved it, I’m going to say I loved it. If I didn’t like it, I’m going to explain why as kindly as I can. Especially because the shows and movies I review professionally are always queer, and I don’t want to be the review people point to and go “See, queer people didn’t even like this” when complaining about queer characters being on their screens. Also because review bombing is real, and I want people to be able to read a balanced take and not just bigots being loud and wrong. We need to be celebrating queer media as much as possible so it keeps being made. I feel very “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” about queer media that I don’t have to professionally review. If I love it, you’ll hear about it all over my social media. If it was harmless but bad…you’ll hear about it in a text if we’re friends, but otherwise you won’t even know I watched it.

Of course, here on my newsletter I can be a little more harsh when I REALLY don’t like something. Because this isn’t a place for professional reviews, it’s a friend recommending (or not recommending) media to friends. Plus, sometimes something is so bad it deserves a humorous takedown. But even my harshest reviews are caveated with the truth: this is just MY opinion, and opinions aren’t facts. No matter what other professional critics might lead you to believe.

Anyway, I loved Sterling Point, which you’ll read all about in my review tomorrow, and also probably in the next Media Mayhem favorites list if I’m being honest. And while I will be someday, I am not open to criticism at this time.

Paid subscribers, keep reading to learn about a TV show I watched recently that I DO actually have a little beef with.

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So when it came time to watch the final two episodes of Hacks, a show I love very much, I found that I just...couldn’t. I’ve cried watching the series finale of a show I had NEVER SEEN A SINGLE OTHER EPISODE OF before, what would saying goodbye to my favorite dysfunctional platonic soulmates Deborah and Ava do to me!! So I put it off. For days at first. Then weeks. The episodes were there taunting me at the top of my Showly “to watch” list every time I opened the app, but I just couldn’t. Why would I willingly put my hand on the stove!

Today was exactly two months since the finale and I knew I couldn’t keep putting it off. If I waited much longer we’d have a Good Place situation on our hands; I waited so long to watch that finale that by the time I was ready I had to (well, got to) rewatch the entire series. Plus, I’ve been crying on and off all week about an internet personality I’ve never met putting down her dog I’ll never meet so what better time than now when I’m already weepy to watch a series finale. (Don’t worry, I’m going to talk about it generally and talk about my feelings but I will not give away any specific plot spoilers in case you haven’t watched the show—or just the finale!—yet but plan to someday.)

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I thought maybe, just maybe, since this show is so silly and ridiculous most of the time that they would save the emotional gut punching for the last scene or two. But no. This show decided to make the entire final episode 46 minutes of FEELINGS. I think I cried for like 42 of those minutes. It was insane.

But the show was just so well-crafted, top to bottom. There were so many call-backs to the first season in the last, so many full-circle moments. You could see how far the characters have come, and how they learned from each other. I know this from the post-episode interview I watched because I was too busy crying to close out of HBO Max, but also I could tell from the writing that they planned the arc of this show from the start. They knew exactly how this show was going to end, and they were given the right amount of time to get there. Too often shows just disappear between seasons, and we’ll never know how they were intended to end. (I’ll never, ever get over the “series finale” of Legends of Tomorrow, which felt more like a mid-season finale than even a season finale, let alone the last episode of the series.) Or, sometimes worse, they reach their natural conclusion, as far as the writers planned, and have a beautiful season finale that serves as a series finale...then get picked up for more seasons. The network puts them in a cannon and shoots them right out over that shark. And you have to watch a show you love devolve into something confusing and inscrutable and so different from what you signed up for. OR you THINK they know where they’re going and are trying to enjoy the ride knowing it will all come together someday only to discover a never-even-hinted-at British twin out of nowhere and it’s clear they had no idea what they were doing all along, or at the very least lost the plot a long time ago.

All this to say, Hacks is a masterclass in show writing. It was funny and smart and heartfelt and devastating and silly and fun. It began and ended exactly as it should have. And I’m sorry for putting off that beautiful finale for so long.

I would say I’ve learned my lesson, but I respect you too much to lie to you.

Paid subscribers, keep reading for a rumination on this newsletter’s three year anniversary!

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This season of Fortnite has been really highlighting both the best and the worst of the people who play this game. I’ll start with the worst.

In the most recent update, the game introduced an end-game battle bus. What this means is that randomly, some games, instead of being a battle royale last-team-standing, a bus appears and to win the game, you have to be on it before it leaves. And the thing about it is: EVERYONE on the bus wins. Not just the first person there, not just the last person standing. If five teams are on the bus, five teams win. And yet, for some reason, the area around the bus is always a bloodbath. Just last night I played a game where I made it to the bus, and was doing an emote to show I was friendly (the Hot to Go dance, specifically) and someone stopped in front of me, watched me dance for a second, saw I had no weapon drawn...and shot me anyway. Rude!! And unnecessary! There is NO benefit to it. You don’t need loot at that point, it’s not enough XP to be worth it. It’s just...well, it feels toxic. In fact, I saw a TikTok video of someone being so toxic that he threw down a “shock wave” which blew everyone off the bus so NOBODY won, including him. It just feels so symbolic of how so many people treat the world, that someone getting equality means they are getting something less, even though that’s not true by definition. I know it’s not that deep, and it’s just a game, but it bums me out that we have the opportunity to go from being a versus game to being a group challenge we can accomplish together and people are still tearing each other down. I GET it, I do, it’s hard to flip that switch in a game that’s usually every-team-for-themselves, but I want to believe people are capable of being good to each other! And I know I’m reading too much into this but I also see so many examples of it in real life and it frustrates me to no end. If we were better at working together, more people could win. But too many “winners” want to be the only one to win, no matter the cost.

THAT SAID this season has also brought out a really cute side of everyone, and that is our propensity to love a “little guy.” A few seasons ago, the game introduced “sprites,” which are ADORABLE little creatures you can carry around with you. The sprites eventually made way for these decidedly less cute bug creatures, but everyone missed them so much that this season, they brought them back in a big way. Now, you can COLLECT them. And goodness knows I love a collection. There are so many different cute little friends and cute little variants, and since MY squad is full of GOOD people and not MONSTERS like the ones I was describing before, we have been sharing them with each other, trading for the ones we don’t have, and helping each other safely get to “extraction” sites where we can get our lil guys into a little pod that sends them to space. Almost definitely sending them home and probably not harvesting them for space dust. I mean, they wave goodbye! That means they’re fine right? Right?? Plus, the little guys all come with perks; my favorite perk being the one I need the most: the “Air Sprite” protects you from fall damage, and since I am CONSTANTLY accidentally launching myself off of high surfaces, that is an important thing for me to have so my teammates don’t have to come save my clumsy ass all the time. I’ve also seen videos of people finding a rare sprite they already have and giving it to random people in the game, which is always nice to see.

So I guess Fortnite is a microcosm of society in that there are bad aspects and good. There are people who are there to play the game the way it was intended, and people who are ruthless beyond reason. There are people who just want to have fun, and people who cheat. (Yes, that’s real. Why, I couldn’t tell you. It’s a free game played by mostly younger people.) It reminded me of that red button vs blue button problem that was going on threads a few weeks ago. And also, what prompted me to actually write about this today instead of just stewing about it like I have been is when I saw a video of the Argentina men’s soccer team taking off their silver medals as soon as they were placed around their necks like spoiled brat babies. They were awarded the second best medal in the WORLD in their sport, a sport that is both their job and also a game, and showed neither professionalism nor sportsmanship.

So I guess I have to stop expecting sportsmanship from this silly little video game, and even though other people take it way too seriously to the point of toxicity, I’m just going to keep having a good time with my friends, doing silly dances, hiding in bushes, trading sprites, and making each other laugh. We can’t make everyone be good and have fun, but we can just do our best to lead by example.

Paid subscribers, keep scrolling for a surprising update about last week’s mini-rant.

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Because summer looks different as an adult, especially one with no children. There’s no school break to signal the start of summer, no noticeable change in your daily routine. But there is always a tipping point, different every year, when the weather beckons you to go outside a little more than usual.

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This has looked so many different ways over the course of my 15+ adult years living in New York City. It was sitting on my fire escape in Inwood, listening to the sounds of the kids playing in the street and people playing music on their stoops. It was learning to wrap ice packs in t-shirts and use them as pillows during a heat wave with no AC in my apartment in Brooklyn, my roommate and I nearly delirious but making each other laugh through it. It was lunch breaks by the river and happy hours on the Frying Pan with my coworkers. Movies in the park and outdoor concerts, seeing Nickel Creek and First Aid Kit and the Secret Sisters live multiple times each in just a few years because my best friend at the time was into them and I loved doing things with her. And the one night an outdoor concert lead us back to a stranger’s apartment (well, a stranger to me, a friend of a friend I promise) where in the wee hours of the morning they realized I didn’t know how to ride a bike and decided to try to teach me then and there on the empty Brooklyn sidewalk with a bike that was built for a person at least 5 inches taller than me. Laugher ensued. There were also yearly “summer outings” with my company that reverted us all back into kids during field day, though my favorite one will always be the trip to Coney Island. Carnival games and cartwheels on the boardwalk and trivia at the Coney Island brewery. And these days there are patio beers and beer gardens and Connecticut pool weekends with lazy days, cozy nights, and luxurious breakfasts.

Just this past weekend, my local friends and I were getting together, and when we were deciding where to go, instead of our usual default to someone’s apartment, we decided to meet at Open Streets, a street fair slash craft fair slash farmer’s market situation that happens every weekend in the summer in various NYC neighborhoods, including ours. When we were finished walking it we decided we weren’t done being outside, so we found a bar with a back patio and it was just so nice. It seems silly; anyone who doesn’t live in a big city and can just go have coffee on your porch every morning or walk your dog in the woods whenever you want probably doesn’t appreciate how that here, we have to choose to be outside. We have to plan it and find a space, one that’s not too hot or too crowded or too expensive to be in. So to find a bar with a nice patio with shade and a solid happy hour deal...it’s not nothing, is all I’m saying.

It’s funny because, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m definitely an indoor cat. I have friends who need to feel the wind on their face every day or they go insane. I have friends that go stir crazy after 12 hours indoors. Meanwhile, ever since lockdown, I can go up to two weeks without going further than the trash bins outside my apartment building. Probably longer, if I didn’t have friends who liked to gently extract me from hermit mode. But something has felt different the past two summers.

Maybe it’s because I spent time on my parents’ porch. Or because I went to proper cookouts. This year I even went to one on the fourth of July. I went to a beach for the first time in goodness knows how long. I didn’t have a suit or anything, so I just waded in the water and found cool stones on the rocky shore (I even kept a tiny one). I don’t even remember the last time I was in the ocean, if I’m being honest. I’ve seen it a few times—on my trip to Virginia Beach, aforementioned trip to Coney Island—but I don’t remember the last time I walked in the water. I’m starting to worry the answer is all the way back in 2017 when I went to St. John’s on vacation with some friends. I’m hoping my mind is just blanking and I’m forgetting an instance or two since I grew up going in the ocean so much that it’s not necessarily a Notable Memory for me, because the alternative means that I have traveled back and forth between an island and a coastal state constantly looking at but never going into the ocean for almost a decade. (Yes, I know technically the island I live on is surrounded by rivers and bays but my point still stands.)

All this to say, I’ve been more interested in spending more time outside. And I’ve actually been doing it! Which is bringing back some really fun summer memories, and I look forward to making even more of them.

Paid subscribers, keep scrolling for a mini-rant and also to see what I’ve been consuming this week.

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I am currently staying with my parents in Massachusetts, partially for some family events, partially in an attempt to avoid the hottest weeks of summer, when New York City turns into a bit of an oven with all those tall metal buildings. Time moves a little differently here, especially when full of aforementioned family events, and I am surprised it’s almost time for me to head back home.

As I’m sitting down to write this, I’m fresh off the heels of a trip down the Cape* to spend the weekend with my aunt’s family for their annual Fourth of July party, which I have never been able to attend before. Mostly because for the past 15 years or so I am not usually in MA in July. It was a classic 4th party, with lots of food and a walk to the beach and sparklers, the whole nine. And I realized, I don’t really have any specific memories of celebrating the fourth growing up.
*we weren’t really all the way to Cape Cod but it was on the way/closer than I usually am

Any specific fourth of July memories I try to pull up are just flashes, like the momentary light of a firework in the night sky. A cookout in an non-descript backyard eating cheese and condiments on a bun because I didn’t eat hot dogs or hamburgers but Impossible and Beyond brands didn’t exist yet. Standing in the bathtub to watch the fireworks with my parents and brother. Hiding in the car and covering my ears at a fireworks show we went to because I loved the way they looked but they were far too loud.

In fact, a lot of my summer memories come back like this. I think because my summers weren’t always the same. It’s not like we had one specific thing we did every summer, or once specific place we went. In media, “summer” always has such a specific vibe. I never learned how to ride a bike, nor would my neighborhood have been safe enough for me to ride around with my friends having adventures like they do in Now & Then. Where I grew up was way too urban for a treehouse like they did in the books The Magic Treehouse, or a cabin clubhouse like in Little Rascals. I wasn’t unsupervised enough to wander around town solving mysteries like Nancy Drew, and I didn’t have enough local (or enterprising) friends to start a Baby-Sitters Club with. And unlike the kids in too much media for me to even possibly start to list, I never went to sleepaway summer camp.

I do have summer-specific memories, but they’re one-offs, not recurring. It’s one from the summer I was seven, one from a summer in high school. They are bits and pieces scattered over the years. The time we went to Canobie Lake Park until it closed and got to ride our favorite roller coaster three times in a row because there were no lines so close to the end of the night. The trip to Old Orchard Beach in Maine where my cousin’s stepson won me a glow-in-the-dark alien keychain. Papa Gino driving me to a beach to see his friend with a daughter my age, listening to Carly Simon the whole way there and back. Spending a week in New Hampshire or down the Cape* with my mercurial best friend. Canoeing on the Saco River. Driving around Worcester with my cousins with the windows rolled down, all of us scream-singing Round Here by the Counting Crows. My friend and I almost getting pulled into the ocean by a riptide but being saved by her mother and aunt. Sitting on the parking block outside Dairy Maid (our local ice cream shop whose opening signaled the start of the season) and eating a soft serve twist in a cone with rainbow “jimmies” which I thought were just sprinkles named after Dairy Maid’s owner, Jimmy Penta. (Turns out it’s just a regional term; more far-reaching than Dairy Maid, but not much farther than the borders of New England.)
*actually all the way down the Cape this time

I remember what it felt like to step on the edge of the plastic pool in our driveway to empty it and racing the water down the street to the drain. I remember spending long afternoons in my brother’s room playing video games. I remember hanging sheets in the upstairs hallway so one air conditioner could cool our bedrooms faster. I remember going to the library clutching my summer reading list, often reading the whole thing instead of the requisite minimum. I remember days spent sprawled on Nana’s living room rug, watching My Fair Lady or Sound of Music.

One of my most summery memories is from high school. I was part of a club called Outreach which was our community service club. Every year, a group of students would spend a week doing “Summer Service”, which was in a different place and doing a different task every year. One year it was helping build a house with Habitat for Humanity, one year it was cleaning and painting a summer camp while also spending some time with the kids of the camp. I went a few years in a row, so they all kind of blend together, but the one that sticks out to me the most is the one where we stayed on a college campus in Maine. The period of time we were there, we were the only ones using the buildings we were using, and for a group of about 20 teenagers, we felt like we were given keys to a kingdom. I’m sure there were chaperones around, but there was a period of time between dinner and curfew that I felt like we were unsupervised and free. And maybe we were; they probably figured, how much trouble could a group of kids voluntarily spending part of their summer volunteering get into on a closed campus with no cars to leave in. One night in particular, it’s funny, I remember the moments and the feelings so vividly but so many of the specifics are gone. If I could draw, I could recreate it for you like a comic book, but the words of our conversations would be smudged and the details of my friends’ faces would be blurred. I remember us walking to the lake, in awe of the stars we could see so much more clearly than we could back home in our light-polluted cities, and sitting on a dock, swinging our feet and sharing our feelings like we were in a coming-of-age movie. I remember rain coming on sudden and strong, all at once with no build-up, and thunder you could feel in your bones chasing us as we ran through the grass, flip-flops in hand, laughing until lightning hit the ground so close to us we could see the point of impact, which made us scream. Then we ran faster and laughed harder because we were just talking about our hopes and fears about college and beyond, this taste of freedom and what the real thing might feel like, and now here we were, sprinting through the rain, screaming and laughing like little kids in a sprinkler. I don’t know why this night sticks out to me, why my brain held onto this memory so tightly while the ones surrounding it faded away, but I’m taken back there whenever I see a particularly detailed bolt of lightning in the sky, or when I smell petrichor unexpectedly.

I’m realizing now that all those summer memories are from when I was a kid/teen, back when summer was more clearly defined by the lack of school and not just by a rise in temperature. Perhaps next time I’ll talk about summers in the city (someone in a rush next to someone looking pretty), because this exercise has exorcised some of those memories as well. And after all, my summer trip to Boston might almost be over, but we still have quite a bit of summer left to go.

Paid subscribers, keep reading if you miss knowing what media I’m consuming, and a little something extra.

Currently watching: Cape Fear
Currently reading: The Three Lives of Cate Kay by Kate Fagan
Currently listening to: I actually recently started the audiobook for Critical Role: Vox Machina, Stories Untold
Currently playing: Disney Dreamlight Valley since I am separated from my PS5

I have a champagne problem. That is to say, something I’m going to whine about that I know full well is not a real problem in the grand scheme of things. Aside from seeing family, one of the reasons I choose the summer to stay with my parents’ for a few weeks is because their new house (well, relatively speaking; they’ve been here almost three years now) has a big porch complete with plenty of seating and a view of the big backyard. Growing up, our “backyard” was a driveway, and the back porch was just a landing for exiting and entering through the back door, there wasn’t enough space for sitting. But now they have a porch with one of those outdoor couches AND a table-and-chairs situation.

The first week I was here was bliss! I spent most of my days outside, reading in the mornings, then eating lunch, then working in the afternoons. I had the time of my life. Then last week was way too hot to sit outside. And now this week it’s raining. I still have a few days left I’m hoping to be able to soak up some of that fresh suburban air, but I’m not going to hold my breath about it. I wanted to be outside so much these three weeks that my pasty ass came back to the city downright TAN despite wearing SPF 70 on my face. Alas. I am now just the color of an alive person instead of a Victorian ghost.

However, perhaps I won’t be relegated back to indoor life in a week. I have decided that when I get back to New York I’m going to start walk-training for NYCC. Last year, going from being mostly sedentary all year to walking 5-7 miles a day around the convention center left me in so much pain. Before the pandemic, I was walking at LEAST a mile a day just getting to and from work, often clocking closer to three just going about my day/night, so while the cons definitely left me sore, they didn’t lay me out the way last year’s con did. Between working from home and being old, I can’t just go zero to sixty like I used to. So I’m going to start walking more. Going on walks just to walk, something I don’t tend to do. Maybe even walking to Astoria Park to read, even though it’s a slightly inconvenient distance away from my apartment. Might as well enjoy these days I have time to kill; I can’t spend literally every waking hour applying to jobs, I’ll lose my mind. So instead I’ll spend some days doing work for the few contracts I do have, some days applying to jobs, and some days trying to pause the constant buzz of stress about not having enough money coming in to enjoy the sunshine while I can.

I’m still new to being more outside-y. I am usually such an indoor cat I was literally prescribed Vitamin D. But I’m trying. Trying to avoid becoming a true hermit just because I don’t technically ever HAVE to leave my apartment. Trying to shake the remnants of the mild agoraphobia I developed during quarantine. And soon, I will be trying to not be laid up for a week by one weekend of walking around a convention hall. Wish me luck.

I listen to...a lot of podcasts, and don’t write about them a lot, so I thought this bonus Tuesday in June was the perfect time to do so. I chose the 30 podcasts that a) I still have episodes to listen to and/or b) aren’t on indefinite hiatus. There are a handful I’m caught up on but seem to be gone forever (Banshees and Booze, My Dad Wrote a Porno, The Amber & Lacey, Lacey & Amber Show, etc) and some that I’m caught up on but won’t be back for a long time (e.g. the official podcasts for shows like Pluribus and IT: Welcome to Derry) so I didn’t include them this time around. Some of these podcasts are technically over but I still have episodes so I’m in denial about it.

I doubt I’ll have enough new podcasts to write about them again in the EOY Media Mayhem, but maybe in future years we’ll check in again. I won’t be doing favorites, because it really does depend on my mood. I’ll go through periods of time where I get locked on one and I binge it for a while. Though I try to keep a rotating queue to slowly make my way through all of them. I have podcasts playing out loud in my apartment basically any time I’m not watching TV, reading, or working. When I’m getting ready, cooking, showering, etc, podcasts are playing. I listen to them while I walk or if I’m on the train and don’t feel like reading (or don’t have the space to). And I listen to most of them on 1.5x-2x speed. So I get through a lot of them!

I’m not going to do full reviews of these like I do other media, because this is just a fun little bonus, but I will tell you where I am in the podcast, the vibe, if it’s gay, and a short description. Sometimes I’ll include extra opinions like if I skip around or listen to the whole thing or if a certain podcast is one I love extra, but not more than two or three sentences. They are broken up by “genre” (aka categories I sort of made up for them) for easy scrolling. As a note, me being years behind in a podcast says nothing about how much I do or do not enjoy it; usually all it means is that I discovered it after it had already dropped hundreds of episodes and I am a weirdo who likes to go back to the very beginning.

So! Let’s press play!

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This Might Get Weird
My status: Caught up
Vibe: Like eavesdropping on two friends in their house
Is it gay? No

Two friends talk pop culture, funny things that happened in their lives, and other wackiness. This is a no-skip, “put new eps in the top of my queue” podcast for me. If I WAS picking favorites (and I’m not) this would be on my list.

Do You Need A Ride?
My status: I’m in August 2025
Vibe: Like eavesdropping on two friends in their car
Is it gay? No, unless a guest is

This started as an interview podcast where two friends would pick up comedian friends from the airport; now it’s mostly just them chatting. I do usually skip episodes if it’s an interview with someone I don’t know.

Normal Gossip
My status: Caught up
Vibe: Like eavesdropping on office gossip about people you’ve never met
Is it gay? Sometimes the stories are

The host reads the guest a tale of juicy, low-stakes gossip for them to react to in hilarious ways. I cannot get enough of this one and it’s been ages since the last episode and I am JONESING.

Lemme Say This
My status: Caught up
Vibe: Like eavesdropping on two friends at a coffee shop
Is it gay? One of the hosts is queer

Two friends discuss current affairs, pop culture, and things they love, hate, love to hate, and hate to love. I sometimes have to skip around within episodes because of my pop culture gap around reality shows, but their dynamic is fun enough to not skip the whole episode even if the title references Summer House or Love Island.

Call It What It Is, recently rebranded as We Ride at Dawn(ish)
My status: I’m in April 2025
Vibe: Slightly out of touch but in an endearing way
Is it gay? Only when a guest makes it

Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington (and sometimes a guest) “get real” (and by that I mean as much as two rich white cis straight women in their 40s can) but also sometimes talk about Grey’s Anatomy. I skip around with this one and cherry-pick topics and guests that seem interesting to me. I like their friendship dynamic.

Song Exploder
My status: I’m in October 2025
Vibe: Very cool and interesting
Is it gay? If the artist is

A musical artist breaks down how one of their songs was created. I only listen to ones I’m curious about for this one, too, but it’s always really fascinating.

Off Menu
My status: I’m in April 2026
Vibe: An interview the guest actually seems to enjoy
Is it gay? Only if the interviewee is

Two goofballs interview celebrities by asking them their dream menu, from starter to dessert and every course in between. This is another one where I usually skip guests I’ve never heard of. Though sometimes I do listen to random women I don’t know because the format is really fun.

Good Hang
My status: Burning the candle from both ends
Vibe: Charming and sweet and fun
Is it gay? Only if the interviewee is

Amy Poehler interviews a guest in her charming and adorable way. I bounce around with this one, too, listening to the newest ones first but also working my way through the backlog. I have occasionally listened to interviews with people I don’t care about because I do love Amy Poehler; it depends on my mood.

Call Your Coven
My status: Caught up
Vibe: Witchy and vibey
Is it gay? Yes

A tarot reader, a numerologist, and an astrologist walk into a bar...jk they talk about the monthly forecast in all of their fields, and other such topics. Biased because two of the hosts are real life friends of mine but I find it really interesting.

Sawbones
My status: I’m in January 2023
Vibe: Interesting and amusing
Is it gay? One of the hosts is bisexual

Doctor wife explains old-timey or weird medical topics to her comedian husband. Always a blast, and genuinely fascinating.

Material Girls
My status: I’m in January 2026
Vibe: Educational and interesting
Is it gay? Yes

Two queer scholars discuss certain pieces of pop culture but with an educational bent, often linking them to societal phenomena, why something reaches the zeitgeist, and other smart things. I actually discovered this one because my friend told me they quoted one of my Autostraddle articles in an episode so I obviously listened to it and loved it so I went back to the beginning. I do skip episodes sometimes if I’m not familiar with the pop culture they’re examining.

My Favorite Murder
My status: I’m in July 2025
Vibe: Mix of funny, informative and serious
Is it gay? No

Two funny women tell each other horrible stories. They are definitely more...corporatized these days than they were in the beginning when it was just two friends chit-chatting, but I do still find the stories they choose interesting and their dynamic is fun.

Drunk Women Solving Crime
My status: I’m in June 2025
Vibe: Goofy and silly
Is it gay? Not unless a guest is

Two women plus a guest try to fill in the blank of old timey crimes, hilarity ensues. Since this isn’t an interview of the guest but just them participating in their “game” I listen to eps of this even when I don’t know the guest. A deeply unserious time.

Wine & Crime
My status: Caught up
Vibe: Hilarious and informative
Is it gay? No? But very Valentina. (Aka very vocal allies.)

Two women get high or drunk and talk about the most whackadoodle crime or crime-adjacent topics, usually on a theme. For example, location-specific crimes, vocation-themed crimes, or themes like “circus crimes”, “evil in-laws,” “goose crimes,” etc. Very interesting and VERY funny. Plus, a bonus monthly episode called “Gossip at the Corpse Cart” where they read listener crimes, hilarious headlines, and interesting obituaries.

National Park After Dark
My status: I’m in April 2025
Vibe: Fascinating stories of nature; on the serious side
Is it gay? No

Two women talk about what goes bump the night in our national forests. I was REALLY behind on this so I did skip some stories based on the titles of the episode but even though this one isn’t quite as funny as my other true crime podcasts, it’s interesting and the two hosts are obviously real friends.

And That’s Why We Drink
My status: I’m in February 2023
Vibe: Wild and wacky and (almost always) funny
Is it gay? Both hosts are LGBTQ+

One friend tells a supernatural story, the other tells a true crime story. Both of them are silly and fun to listen to, even when the stories themselves are serious and dark. They find the funny around the darkness without ever disrespecting the stories themselves. They have a healthy balance of belief and skepticism of their supernatural tales, and they also have a spinoff podcast called Rituals where they dive into the history of things like the occult and scrying, etc.

Off Book
My status: In December 2024
Vibe: Truly astonishing and hilarious and clever musical improv
Is it gay? Sometimes?

Two comedians improvise and entire musical with mind-boggling skill. I have caught up on all of their studio episodes but they still release their live shows, and also sometimes release “On Book” episodes about their process of writing an original musical. I’ve seen them live before and they are truly magical.

Worlds Beyond Number
My status: I’m in December 2024, WWW Episode #39
Vibe: Dramatic and funny D&D story
Is it gay? At least one player is

Brennan Lee Mulligan DMs a D&D game for Aabriya Iyengar, Erika Ishii, and Lou Wilson, who play a Wizard, a Witch, and a Wild One respectively, with lots of homebrewing, mostly role playing, and some really excellent storytelling.

Unprepared Casters
My status: Caught Up
Vibe: Usually hilarious until you get sucker-punched in the feels
Is it gay? Always

Two funny and charming queer people take turns DMing their (almost always) queer friends in short-shots of various TTRPGs. Sometimes they play D&D, but sometimes other systems, and it’s always a good gay time. Each arc is technically a standalone story so you can jump in anywhere, but they’re also all loosely connected in ways that are fun to catch if you DO listen to them all.

Rude Tales of Magic
My status: I’m in September 2024, the Nethermurk campaign
Vibe: Deeply unserious, mildly insane
Is it gay? Sometimes

A group of weirdos play a game that vaguely resembles D&D without really following any rules at all. It’s really just improv role playing loosely structured around a TTRPG but I would be really surprised if any of them have looked at a Dungeon’s Master’s Guide or a Player’s Handbook in years. It takes “rule of cool” to a whole new level, with absurdly silly and fun results.

Teen Creeps
My status: I am in June 2023 on their main feed, April 2021 in their Patreon feed
Vibe: Hilarious and fun
Is it gay? Not usually

Two women discuss pulp horror books and similar media. I listen to all of these episodes even though I rarely have read the book they’re talking about; I can’t explain why, but I love doing it. They also have a sub-podcast for subscribers called Public Domain Theater where they read and react to classic short stories in the public domain and I love that, too.

Scary Stories to Tell on the Pod
My status: I’m in February 2024
Vibe: Delightfully funny and quite silly
Is it gay? The male host is gay

Two friends recount spooky tales, mostly taken from the Scary Stories trilogy. But also they’re both silly scaredy cats so it’s actually hilarious. This show went away and came back before I ran out of episodes, and they technically haven’t dropped an episode since December but I’m kind of hoping it happens again.

Still Buffering
My status: I’m in April 2023
Vibe: Cute and fun
Is it gay? Yes, all three siblings are queer

Siblings with age gaps share the media that shaped them with their siblings and discuss it. I have started to skip around a little on this one, too; it’s less fun to listen to if you aren’t familiar with the media. I do think only two siblings do this podcast in real-time but I’m still back in the three-sibling era.

Lost Girl Rewatch Podcast
My status: Caught up
Vibe: A fun walk down memory lane
Is it gay? The show sure is

Anna Silk and Rachel Skarsten (and sometimes a guest) rewatch and discuss episodes of their show Lost Girl. I skip some of the interviews but this podcast is a fun behind-the-scenes look at the show; Anna and Rachel have great friend chemistry.

Pod Meets World
My status: I’m in January 2023, they’re in Season 2 of BMW
Vibe: Nostalgic and interesting
Is it gay? No

Danielle Fishel, Will Friedle, and Rider Strong (and sometimes a guest) rewatch and discuss episodes of their show Boy Meets World. Fascinating stuff, and a funny trio.

Drama Queens
My status: I’m in October 2023, they’re in Season 5 of OTH
Vibe: Reflective and smart and funny
Is it gay? A little

Hilarie Burton, Sophia Bush, and Bethany Joy Lenz (and sometimes a guest) rewatch and discuss episodes of their show One Tree Hill. I know eventually the hosts change and they might not all be friends anymore but for now I’m enjoying this trio. Jury’s out if I’ll still listen after Hilarie and/or Sophia leave.

LeVar Burton Reads
My status: I’m in September 2019
Vibe: Soothing and cozy
Is it gay? Sometimes the stories are because LeVar is a great ally dad

LeVar Burton taps into his Reading Rainbow roots and reads short stories in his soothing voice, which is very nostalgic to me. I know this one is technically over too so I’m savoring the stories I have left.

Buffering the Vampire Slayer
My status: I’m in September 2019, they’re on their first watch, in S5 of BtVS
Vibe: Funny (but mostly safe) takes on Buffy; VERY good original songs
Is it gay? Yes

Two ex-wives (and sometimes their friends) discuss episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I fell really behind until I read their book and dove back in. I’m still in their first watch-through but having a nice time.

Taskmaster: The Official Podcast
My status: I’m in April 15, 2021, Season 11
Vibe: Fun and silly interviews about a fun and silly show
Is it gay? Some contestants are

Former Taskmaster champion interviews other Taskmaster contestants while discussing the most recent episode of Taskmaster. I am only listening to interviews of my faves for older seasons because my memory for this show isn’t as good as narrative shows, but I’m also listening to the most recent season before it leaves my hippocampus.

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
My status: I’m in January 2023
Vibe: Laughing at the true stupidity of some people
Is it gay? One host is bisexual

A sibling duo reads hilarious reviews with weekly themes and challenges. This one is pure joy all the time. One of the hosts, Christine, is also one of the co-hosts of And That’s Why We Drink, so I try to keep up with those two podcasts in tandem for continuity. Otherwise I’d probably be caught up, this one is a fun, easy listen.

There we have it! That is what is being pumped into my brain at all times to avoid The Thoughts from taking over!

And with that, we come to the official end of Midyear Media Mayhem 2026. I had a great time, and hope you did, too. I said this to my paid subscribers Friday but I’ll say it to everyone here too: If ONE person who read my newsletter takes even ONE recommendation from ONE of these lists and ends up loving it, I will consider it well worth my while.

Next week we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled nonsense, and Media Mayhem will return in Avengers Doomsday December!

I won’t lie to you, this was also the hardest list to pare down. Not only because it was the longest, with 50 shows to choose from, but because I LOVE TV SO MUCH. I narrowed it down five different times and kept landing on ten shows and getting stuck, but I COULD NOT have this newsletter be 5000 words long. I just couldn’t! It wouldn’t have been fun for me OR you. So, after much hemming and hawing and self-arm-twisting, I got it down to five.

But I did want to briefly walk you through some of the ones that didn’t make the cut and why. High Potential got removed, regretfully, mostly because I couldn’t think of anything I liked about this season in particular that wasn’t true of the first season. In fact, they keep teasing something that I super duper do NOT want to happen so while it does remain one of my favorite comedies of the year in my heart, it had to get the boot from this particular list.

But even after I got rid of that one, I still had a solid ten shows on my list. I truly couldn’t narrow it down. So I decided I had to set a new parameter for myself, since eliminating based on season quality wasn’t working for the rest of them. So these five shows got removed from the list for one reason and one reason only: I already wrote about them for Autostraddle, so I had my chance to say my piece. I’m sure I could have easily found more to say about each of them, but since something had to give, this was the best way for me to narrow this list without feeling like I was killing my darlings.

Those five honorable mention shows are: FROM, Deadloch, Legends of Vox Machina, School Spirits, and PONIES. Luckily three of them will be back for more seasons, so maybe there will be more to say later. Deadloch is sadly over, but it went out with a bang. And I devastatingly found out between Tuesday’s newsletter and today’s that PONIES has been taken from this world far too soon, despite being a blast to watch and setting up a second season perfectly.

All that said, the five shows that did make the cut ARE great ones. They made me laugh and cry, they got me stressed and spooked, they are shows I would recommend to almost anyone if they asked me what I’ve been enjoying lately.

As always, these longer reviews will be spoilery, but won’t reveal major endings, and they will be broken up by non-spoilery images for easy scrolling.

Enjoy!

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In Midyear Media Mayhems past, I had a rule where I didn’t include a show if it was going to have more episodes before December. However, this ended up creating an imbalance. I’m talking a 30 shows in June/70 in December imbalance. So this year I took a different approach. All the “fall” shows that ended this spring that will be back in the fall again, I still wrote about them. If something crazy happens in the first half of the next season that makes me want to write about them again, they’ll just be double-faced and show up again. However, I didn’t write about a show if I was less than halfway through it. For example, I’ve watched five episodes of Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed (starring my wife Tatiana Maslany) and since it’s the first season, I’m going to wait until the next Media Mayhem to cover it. The Boys is technically over, but I have only seen the first two episodes of the last season so far, so I’m holding off on that one too. I also started a Scrubs first watch and still have a few seasons plus the new reboot to watch so I’ll save that. The only exception to this new rule is NCIS: Los Angeles because even though I’m only in Season 6 of 14, if the other NCIS shows are anything to be believed, it won’t change drastically enough in the next six months for me to bother withholding. The back half of the series will determine whether or not I include it again. (And, frankly, how many other shows I end up having on my list by the end. I do not anticipate being an NCIS influencer any time soon.)

This new process got me to 50 shows even. Once again we will be testing the limits of Substack and your email service provider, but I believe in us! I wish I could say I kept my reviews short, and I did try, but TV is where my heart lies so I had a lot of opinions. As always, I will tell you the vibe of the show and how gay it is, followed by a spoiler-lite micro-review. And as I’ve been trying out this year, I wrote mini descriptions of the show to give you some context. (Plus: links to my Autostraddle review of it if it exists!) And, of course, the categories are questionable at best; if there’s something in the Comedies & Dramedies section you think should have been in the Drama & Dramedies section, don’t tell me, just keep it in your heart. Maybe next year I’ll name the categories stupid things like “shows I watched for one (1) actress” and “shows I regret watching” etc.

OKAY we have 50 shows to talk about, let’s get going!

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Fallout (2024 - present)
Vibe: Post-apocalyptic
Is it gay? Not really anymore

In a post-apocalyptic world still recovering from nuclear fallout, one sheltered, optimistic girl sets out with a literal ghoul to find her father, who might have a nose but is a type of ghoul nonetheless.

Okie dokie! I love Ella Purnell as Lucy so much. I never played any of the video games so I can’t speak to how lore-accurate the show is—and, in fact, the more we learn about different factions, the more lost in the sauce I’m getting—but I’m having a great time watch this girl try not to lose her hope and her sparkle as she fights her way through the dark and dirty world outside the bunker she was raised in. This season’s brief encounter with drugs still has me giggling.

School Spirits (2023 - present)
Vibe: Horror comedy but make it teens
Is it gay? It is now!

Troubled teen Maddie (Peyton List the Younger) gets bonked in the head in the boiler room of her high school and suddenly finds herself walking amongst the literal ghosts that haunt the halls and the metaphorical ghosts of their pasts. Her friend Simon is the only living person who can still see her and together the ghosts and the livings have mysteries to solve and lives (and afterlives) to save.

I continue to love this show. I’ll admit this season was a little more unnecessarily complex than others at times. In seasons past, I was enjoying learning about each ghost’s backstory and what their lives (and deaths) were like in the various decades they came from, but this season had some fun switcheroos and new rules and new characters that were fun to explore. Plus, despite having long suspected two specific characters were queer (aside from the out queer boys), we got confirmation that one character is non-binary and the other is very into them, so that was nice. This show combines high-stakes life-or-death drama with teen troubles and also sprinkles in some humor and KILLER needle drops (no pun intended) and I hope we get a few more seasons of it.

Widow’s Bay (2026 - present)
Vibe: Eerie and funny
Is it gay? Nah

Widow’s Bay is a quaint island off the coast of Massachusetts (aka the next Martha’s Vineyard and definitely not cursed) and it is definitely cursed. The put-upon mayor, Tom Loftis (Matthew Rhys), is out to break said curse to save his town, bring in tourists, and, most importantly, so his son can leave this gods-forsaken place.

This show is so great and I’m so grateful my friend Bridget told me about it. I give Apple TV a lot of shit because it has the best shows that it never advertises for, but all the shows I watch and love on it I have discovered through word of mouth and then tell all my friends to watch, so maybe they’re onto something. This show is funny and unserious sometimes, but also legitimately scary and stressful at others, and it walks that line beautifully. The vibe is also VERY New England, which I appreciate, as a former New Englander myself. Every episode felt too short, even the one that was at least 25% someone reading a family tree out loud. I was glued to the screen at every turn; it’s definitely a show where I’m not double screening it for once, and also one that I know I’ll definitely rewatch before the second season starts to see what clues to the mysteries of the island I missed the first time around.

The Copenhagen Test (2025)
Vibe: Futuristic spy thriller
Is it gay? Elderly lesbians!

Intelligence agent Alexander Hale (Simu Liu) finds out his brain is hacked and the enemy is spying through his eyes, so the secret government organization he works for decides to use it (and him) to their advantage.

I come to this place for Melissa Barrera. This show was not as...thrilling as I hoped, for a spy thriller, but it was interesting enough. Lots of not knowing who to trust and surprise reveals and such. Melissa Barrera and Sinclair Daniel were phenomenal though. I, unsurprisingly, wanted them to kiss. Perhaps even more unsurprisingly, they did not. I would have watched Simu Liu and Melissa Barrera do it all again, but I also can’t say I’m shocked it wasn’t picked up for another season.

Paradise (2025 - present)
Vibe: Mystery/Thriller/Storytelling
Is it gay? FINALLY a little in season two yes

I actually can’t and won’t describe this show without spoiling the pilot plot twist and I wouldn’t take that away from anyone. Just know it’s full of mysteries to solve and characters to root for (and root against) and so many twists and turns you won’t even believe it.

I rewatched the first season of this show before the second season started, and I can already tell I’ll watch the first two seasons before the third. It’s so, so good. Sterling K. Brown is unreal in this role, and Julianne Nicholson and Sarah Shahi are also blowing my whole mind. Since I can’t go into more detail you’ll just have to trust me when I tell you that season two escalates every single stake of season one. It introduces a whole new element to the mystery, and really opens the world up in a really fascinating way. It’s one of my favorite shows in a long time.

FROM (2022 - present)
Vibe: Dark and twisty supernatural drama
Is it gay? Some queer main characters

Down a dark, dark road, through a dark, dark forest, there’s a dark, dark, town where dark, dark things go bump in the night. The town seems to draw in strangers from all over to become part of its sick game and the people who live there have to fight to survive every day and every night. The vibe is very you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.

I love this spooky show! There is some deep lore being unveiled this season (the show’s fourth) that is sort of making me wave my hands a bit and not think too hard about because it hurts my brain, but I’m still having a great time. It’s so much classic HORROR, with some found family feels, and plenty of twists and turns. It was renewed for a fifth and final season and I can’t wait to get answers to some questions. I do so love when complex shows like this go out on their own terms/with enough heads up to wrap things up.

The Pitt (2025 - present)
Vibe: Medical drama but in real time
Is it gay? Yes

This show follows a team of ER doctors, med students, and nurses (headed by Noah Wyle) through one full shift, hour by hour. They all have their own personal (and sometimes literal) shit to deal with while also saving lives from catastrophic events, unbelievable accidents, and rare diseases.

I’m sure you’ve read enough thinkpieces on this show this year so I won’t bore you by going on too long but I do really love this show. It’s so much more raw and real than other hospital dramas, and it’s medically accurate in a stressful way. The hour by hour format feels unique (even though I know they did it on 24; I didn’t watch that though so I can’t speak to how it was executed), and the time jump between seasons was a fascinating decision that really opened up a way to have character development in a way I was worried wouldn’t happen if we went in real time forever. Characters continue to surprise me, my most loved and hated characters change constantly, and I love that even the best characters are flawed. A great watch. Shout out to my favorite bbs, Santos and Mel King.

Watson (2025 - 2026)
Vibe: Basically House with a Sherlockian bent
Is it gay? The main character’s ex-wife is bisexual

A diagnostic team of...unique doctors try to solve difficult cases, led by physician John Watson (Morris Chesnut). The team consists of a strange set of twins, an obscenely attractive and sweet-as-pie immunologist, and a seemingly cold-hearted neurologist with antisocial personality disorder. Sherlock Holmes is there sometimes for no good reason. It’s basically House but if House was kind.

This show was...not that good. I won’t lie. I was surprised when it got a second season, not so much when it didn’t get a third. But the medical mysteries were interesting enough to keep me coming back. Plus, I liked the ladies in it. Dr. Sasha Lubbock (Inga Schlingmann) is a walking ray of sunshine and I was crack-shipping her with antisocial Dr. Ingrid Derian (Eve Harlow) for a fun golden retriever/black cat style pairing. Plus, Watson’s ex Rochelle Aytes is bisexual and sometimes brought a lady friend around, so that was fun. I’ve watched worse for less. I think this show would have been more successful without the attempts at making it Sherlockian. Even though I’m not shocked by this turn of events, I’ll miss my little sociopath Ingrid trying her best to make Sasha happy and just generally learning how to feel things.

SkyMed (2022 - present)
Vibe: Dramatic injuries in Canada
Is it gay? A main queer Black couple, in fact

Up north in the Canadian wilderness, a band of plucky medics and pilots team up for daring rescues of uniquely dangerous emergencies while also navigating workplace politics and interpersonal relationships. Plus some Very Special genre-bending episodes.

Canada gives us so many television treasures. This is a great show for playing Canadian Bingo, and also just for a fun, slightly-more-wholesome-than-similar-US-shows, soap opera-esque time. There is a really sweet queer couple, a pilot and an EMT, who had a great second season and will hopefully go on to have many more. And, of course, because of who I am as a person, I also had a crack ship despite both of the women being in relationships with men this season. Also this show does this fun thing where sometimes they’ll have an out-of-genre episode; last season it was a Wandavision inspired multi-genre episode, this year it was a survival episode. Kind of cheesy but always a good time.

9-1-1 (2018 - present)
Vibe: Chaotic emergency procedural
Is it gay? Yes, Hen is gay and has a wife

Firefighters and paramedics and Angela Bassett work together to fight fires and also crime and also the increasingly ridiculous disasters plaguing Los Angeles, including tsunamis, sinking cruise ships, meteor crashes, and...bee-nados.

This show is a mess. It’s truly chaotic and only gets crazier every season. But I am fascinated by the emergencies they come up with, and I love the found family aspect of this show. Plus, you really can’t go wrong when you have a show with both Angela Bassett eviscerating people with just one look and Jennifer Love Hewitt crying every episode. There has also been a lovely queer couple on it from the start, Hen (Aisha Hinds) and her wife Karen, played by Tracie Thoms, the gayest straight actress in the game besides Natasha Lyonne. Hen has been through the ringer but I’m hoping they leave her and her family alone for a little while.

9-1-1: Nashville (2025 - present)
Vibe: Chaotic emergency procedural but make it country
Is it gay? Yes! Lesbian EMT!

All the ridiculous emergencies of the original 9-1-1, but with worse writing, Dynasty-level family drama, and the silliest but hottest southern blonde catfight between Jessica Capshaw and LeeAnn Rhimes.

This is the worst 9-1-1 that’s ever existed by far, but gods is it fun. My friend and I call it 9-1-1: Yeehaw because it’s really just a parody of itself. The family drama between Blue and his two families is bonkers and genuinely makes no sense, LeeAnn Rhimes plays basically a cartoon villain, and according to a paramedic on TikTok, the medical aspects of the show are the worst of any he’s ever seen and that doesn’t surprise me in the least. In fact, sometimes even I notice things are wrong and the only medical training I have is watching 20 years of Grey’s Anatomy. And yet, I can’t stop watching because I love the chaos and also I’m still hoping Jessica Capshaw and LeeAnn Rhimes will have hate sex one of these days. Until then, I’ll enjoy the adorable lesbian antics of EMT Roxie.

Chicago Med (2015 - present)
Vibe: Hospital show with heightened drama but not as much sex as Grey’s
Is it gay? Surprisingly, no

Classic medical emergency show, with unique and special cases, and lots of drama. So much drama. An unbelievable amount of drama. And yet another hospital where the staff has half of the medical emergencies themselves.

Once upon a time a friend of mine was a guest star on an episode of this show and I realized Torrey DeVitto was also in it so I decided to binge the whole thing. By the time I caught up, Torrey was gone and I was stuck watching 1/3 of the Dick Wolf Chicago Universe out of pure spite. It’s kind of boring, as far as medical dramas go, but there’s usually at least one or two women for me to root for that keeps me going. This season was a little tougher than usual because they nerfed my two favorite characters by making one pregnant and giving the other a fatal diagnosis. But sometimes you just need a background procedural you know? And this one does the trick.

Doc (2025 - present)
Vibe: Medical drama with a dash of amnesia
Is it gay? There is a queer main-ish character, yes

Doctor Amy Larson (Molly Parker) was a ruthless, driven, no-nonsense doctor who was solving cases but not making many friends until she got in a car accident and bonked her head and forgot why she was so mean and now has to reckon with her past while also trying to take advantage of her second chance.

I apparently am playing “gotta catch ‘em all” with medical procedurals but this one at least as a unique twist. Seeing Amy Larson in the past when she was a massive bitch and also in the present where she is kinder and softer for the most part is really interesting; it’s almost like getting to It’s a Wonderful Life yourself and make new choices, except she doesn’t get to undo anything her bitchy self did. Having a character be equal parts unlikable and likable is just really interesting. I do wish we saw more of her best friend and her wife but overall it’s a decent watch. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was cancelled, but I’m intrigued to see what they do with a third season.

Grey’s Anatomy (2005 - present)
Vibe: Medical drama but make it sexy
Is it gay? Yes!

I’m trying to imagine a world where I have to explain what Grey’s even is to someone, because on paper it’s just a medical show, really. But it’s also insane and full of the most ridiculous medical emergencies you’ve ever seen (a theme among the shows I watch, apparently) while also having interpersonal drama AND sex in on-call rooms AND constantly being in mortal peril. There’s a reason I call it the Seattle Grace Mercy West Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital for the Disaster Prone.

When they got rid of two of my favorite queer doctors at the end of last season and then seemed to forget Millen was bisexual, I was afraid this show was about to go against its very fabric and get less gay but BLESS Sophia Bush came back to remind Teddy she was bi, and also we got a new gay in town in Toni Wright (Jennifer Landon), who showed up to woo Amelia. It’s messy and gay and now that my opp is finally leaving, I think next season has the chance to be deliciously queer if they’ll let it. Time will tell.

His & Hers (2026)
Vibe: Dark and twisty mystery
Is it gay? In the most unfortunate way

Former news anchor Anna (Tessa Thompson) goes back to her hometown to investigate a murder, stepping on the toes of her ex-husband and current police detective Jack (Jon Bernthal) and looking good while doing it.

If I had a nickel for every time I watched something for a specific actress and found myself wondering what the hell I’m doing here, I’d have enough nickels to build an Eiffel Tower made entirely of nickels. Some are worth the nickel and some aren’t, and I think this one falls somewhere in the middle. Tessa Thompson was obviously great, and so was the rest of the cast honestly, but the mystery felt a little trite. The only queer women on it weren’t exactly shining examples of LGBTQ+ representation. That said, I had a perfectly nice time getting sucked into the drama and I liked trying to solve the mysteries along the way (and feeling satisfied when I was right about a few things.) There are worse ways to spend five hours.

Run Away (2025)
Vibe: Crime mystery
Is it gay? The tiniest bit

A family (led by James Nesbitt and Minnie Driver) is desperate to find their missing daughter who has been dubbed a “runaway” because of her history with drugs and also cops being useless, and their search leads them down dark and windy paths.

This show was incredibly stressful because everyone in it kept making stressfully bad decisions. A lot of it was fairly predictable and honestly occasionally a little boring (or maybe just a little slower than I’m used to...because British), but there were enough mysteries and twists to keep me interested until the end. And I do love me some Minnie Driver.

Steal (2026)
Vibe: Snowballing, crime-related stress
Is it gay? No but Sophie Turner is bi (and hot) IRL

Zara (Sophie Turner) is at work for a pension management company when she suddenly finds herself at gunpoint during an armed robbery, and she gets tangled up in the fallout. (The fallout of the theft, not literal fallout; with my track record it felt important to clarify.)

I didn’t even know this show existed but—and this should come as no surprise to you—showing me Sophie Turner’s face is a great way to advertise your show to me, specifically. And I have no regrets; she is truly incredible and I enjoyed the twists and turns of this one. The anxiety of a situation getting out of hand, the stress of wondering how they’ll get out of sticky situations. All in all a fun ride, and a quick 6-episode watch.

Wonder Man (2026 - present)
Vibe: Marvel goes to Hollywood
Is it gay? No

In the world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we usually see the superheroes and the fighters, but this movie follows a regular man named Simon (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) who wants to be an actor, and because of a previous incident and an over-reaction by the rule-makers, he has to hide his powers if he wants to make his dreams come true.

Considering I had no prior knowledge of the character Wonder Man, and the title alone set me up to dislike it, I did end up enjoying this show more than I thought I would. It’s pretty middle-of-the-road as far as Marvel TV shows go for me (I mean, the bar is Wandavision and Agatha All Along, sorry but Wonder Man didn’t really stand a chance with barely any female characters to its name) but I watched it with my Marvel Movie Club and we had fun with it. Not to compliment men but Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Ben Kingsley had great friendship chemistry and a really fun opposites-attract kind of dynamic that I really enjoyed. Again, could have used more women overall, not my favorite Marvel show, but overall a good time. I was glad I watched it and I wouldn’t be sad to see Simon show up again in future Marvel joints.

Daredevil: Born Again (2025 - present)
Vibe: Kicky punchy low-lighting Marvel show
Is it gay? Sure isn’t

Lawyer Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox) takes up the mantle of Daredevil because he’s blind but has superpowers that give him a different kind of sight perfectly suited for fighting crime. He doesn’t really leave Hell’s Kitchen but has beef with the mayor of all five boroughs who is somehow worse than all of NYC’s ACTUAL horrible mayors, Wilson Fisk (Vincent D’Onofrio) aka Kingpin aka my least favorite television character of all time, possibly.

I will never understand people’s obsession with Matt Murdock. I liked him well enough in the early seasons of the original Netflix Daredevil, and he had a fun cameo in She-Hulk, but MAN am I sick of his holier-than-thou shtick. And I cannot express to you how over Wilson Fisk I am. I get that people love him as a villain but it has been overdone. I don’t understand how everyone isn’t sick of an unbeatable bad guy. It makes Daredevil look very bad at his job in my opinion! That said, I do love Karen Page and some of the fight scenes are cool as heck. And also Marvel owns my soul now so it’s not like I can go anywhere. This season also had some really fun cameos that made the season worth it. Barely.

The Punisher: One Last Kill (2026)
Vibe: Dark and murdery
Is it gay? Not even almost

Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal) is about ready to hang up his Punisher mantle for good until fate intervenes and his particular skills are needed once again.

This not-quiet-special-episode, not-quite-TV-movie serves as a sort of refresher for The Punisher’s whole deal for MCU-watchers who didn’t watch the Netflix series. As someone who DID watch the Netflix series, I didn’t feel like I learned anything new about Frank Castle, but also after a season of Daredevil refusing to kill his enemies despite knowing how many people doing so would save, it was refreshing to see Frank just cracking skulls and breaking spines without a second thought.

CIA (2026 - present)
Vibe: Grumpy agent of chaos + overly serious teacher’s pet have to work together
Is it gay? Not yet

FBI Agent William Randall Goodman (Nick Gehlfuss) joins a CIA team lead by Colin Glass (Tom Ellis) and Nikki Reynard (Necar Zadegan) and together with their analyst Gina (Natalee Linez) and other various assets, they help nip potential terror threats in the bud while also trying to get along, maybe the hardest job of all.

I started watching this show for Lucifer and Necar Zadegan, and was devastated to learn my least favorite character from Chicago Med (who I used to call Owen Lite) is also in it. Luckily he’s not nearly as insufferable in this. I don’t follow a lot of the bureaucratic nonsense going on (for example, how having one FBI agent on their CIA team lets them operate on US soil) but I’ve been enjoying the cases week to week well enough. I do like Bill and Colin’s dynamic; Colin is fun and charming and William has a stick up his ass and Tom Ellis is just SO good at being a gentle bully while still getting the job done. I can’t say it’s my favorite of the shows I picked up this year, but I’ll still watch the second season.

R.J. Decker (2026 - present)
Vibe: PI solves crimes with found family
Is it gay? Yes! The main character’s ex-wife is bisexual and married to a woman who R.J. works with a lot

Ex-con and photographer R.J. Decker (Scott Speedman) starts over as a PI in Florida, which is as wild as you imagine, all while navigating his complex relationships with his ex-wife Catherine (Adelaide Clemens) HER new wife and Fort Lauderdale police detective Mel (Bevin Bru), and the woman who sent him to prison who has ties to the local mafia, Emi Ochoa (Jaina Lee Ortiz).

Now this IS one of my favorite shows I picked up this year. It’s very fun, and balanced the funny and serious really well. I like Scott Speedman so much more on this show than I did on Grey’s that it took me an embarrassing amount of time to even realize it was him. I love his ex-wife and her new wife; Bevin Bru especially is just a damn delight. (I do hate when shows try to trick you into liking their cop characters by making them queer and/or women of color but alas.) I was afraid it wouldn’t get picked up because I didn’t think it was given a fair shot with only 9 episodes; the short season forced them to jump right into overarching plot stuff but I think this show could have really benefited from a front half of the season having more of a case-of-the-week structure. That said, it DID get renewed, and I’m really happy about it.

Will Trent (2023 - present)
Vibe: Unique crime solving
Is it gay? Yes but...

Will Trent (Ramón Rodríguez) is a dyslexic special agent who has a unique gift for reconstructing crime scenes and solving mysteries. He works at the Georgia Bureau of Investigations alongside the Atlanta Police Department with a whole motley crew of crime-stoppers. Also he has an adorable dog named Betty Maria White Trent (Bluebell) who is cared for by Will’s mentee and former murder suspect Nico (Cora Lu Tran).

I don’t even know if I like this show anymore or if I’m just watching it because I’ve been watching it since it started. It’s perfectly fine. I do like the dyslexia representation, that the non-binary character is getting a bigger role this season, and Erika Christensen. And this season had a fun villain for a little while...but then they buried a gay and I’m really mad about it. To the point where I’m not even sure if I want to keep watching even though it was renewed for a fifth season. I’ll have to make my decision when it comes back in 2027 and see how mad I still am.

Memory of a Killer (2026 - present)
Vibe: Action but make it a snooze-fest
Is it gay? No

Patrick Dempsey plays a spy leading a double life as a normal dad and a highly skilled assassin who starts experiencing symptoms of Alzheimer’s like his brother, which puts both of his lives and lifestyles at risk.

Y’all, this show is boring as hell. I suffered through the entire season because there were some questions I needed answered, and at least I sometimes had Lindsay from One Tree Hill (aka Michaela McManus) and Gina Torres to look at. But it is just not my vibe overall. It was renewed for a second season but I won’t be watching it, and if you’ve gathered from the patterns in Media Mayhem or just from hearing me yap in the past, this is a huge deal for me, to purposefully quit a show, even between seasons, so do with that information what you will.

Matlock (2024 - present)
Vibe: Lawyer show with a little mystery twist
Is it gay? One of the lawyers is

Madeline Kingston (Kathy Bates) comes out of retirement and infiltrates a law firm as Matty Matlock to try to hold the people accountable for her daughter’s opioid addiction and ultimate death because of it.

I don’t usually like lawyer shows and I have had a healthy fear of Kathy Bates since I saw Misery in high school but this show overcame both of those things to be a show I genuinely enjoy. Kathy Bates has great acting chemistry with Skye P. Marshall, I like the creative ways they come up with to win cases for their clients, I like the dashes of espionage here and there, the cast is all great, and Leah Lewis playing gay is something I’ve wanted since she was possessed by a lesbian ghost in Nancy Drew. Also Melanie Lynskey guest starred this season and got to flirt with her real-life husband and it was a delight to watch.

Tracker (2024 - present)
Vibe: Private contractor finds missing persons
Is it gay? Not anymore

Independent contractor and outdoorsy type Colter Shaw (Justin Hartley) uses his particular set of skills to find missing people the police can’t (or won’t) find, if the reward is worth his time.

My favorite kind of crime-solving show is one that doesn’t revolve around the police, and this does so beautifully. While sometimes Colter does work with law enforcement, for the most part the cops are like “we big dumb dumbs, you find instead?” and Colter is like yeah sure and I’ll do it faster and cheaper than you ever could. Also, sometimes for various reasons the missing person’s family wants to do the whole thing under the radar and without involving authorities and to that I say, even better. This season had a plot twist that might rocket the show into a different genre category together come next Media Mayhem and while I was surprised and confused when I first realized what was happening, it’s a welcome change as far as I’m concerned. Even though Colter’s lesbian aunts disappeared into the parking lot of no return, this season featured fun queer-adjacent guest stars like my girl Jes Macallan and everyone’s favorite pop-up bisexual Briana Venskus.

Criminal Minds: Evolution (2005 - present)
Vibe: Hot federal agents catch serial killers
Is it gay? Yes! Tara and Rebecca 5eva!

A group of special agents at the Behavioral Analysis Unit use their profiling and investigating skills to catch serial killers, and they look good doing it.

I hate to say this about my beloved murder franchise, but I think Criminal Minds has a bit of a Daredevil problem. They found a villain they like so much that they are overusing him. I get it, Sicarius was fascinating and he opened up a whole network to investigate, and sure, Zach Gilford is great at his job, but there comes a point where it is maybe time to move on, you know? I’m also a little annoyed that it seems a lot of Tara/Rebecca development this season is happening off camera. That said, I am still enjoying this season! I will never abandon the BAU because they are my BEST FRIENDS. I still LOVE Emily as the boss, and I will never stop being delighted that they can swear now. A well-placed f-bomb adds so much to shows like this. And I can (and will) wait for JJ and Emily to finally realize they’re meant for each other until I’m so old and grey I forget what I’m waiting for.

A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder (2024 - present)
Vibe: Cute and Nancy Drew-esque
Is it gay? Main character has a queer bff

When it’s time for Pip to write her senior thesis, she decides to try to solve the murder of a classmate from years ago that she believes the wrong person was convicted of. This spirals into getting her tangled in many more crimes, and more than once she has to decide whether discovering truths is worth the risk.

This is a perfectly sweet little show that is great if you love a little mystery but also don’t want to hurt your brain too bad about it. It’s definitely aimed at a younger audience than I realized going into it, what with all the murder, but it’s still a fun ride. And a low commitment, at only six episodes a season. One of Pip’s friends is queer, and she has a flirtationship briefly in season one and then it’s kind of never mentioned again in season two, but I’m hoping we can swing the focus back on her a little in season three. It’s good for mystery and mischief, even if it’s not exactly blowing any minds.

NCIS (2003 - present)
Vibe: Crime-of-the-week with a dash of teambuilding overarching storylines
Is it gay? Lab tech is a lesbian

An elite squad of special agents solves Navy-related crimes mostly in the DC area but also kind of anywhere their particular expertise is needed. The show has been on since the dawn of time so there have been many agents cycling through, including many women I have loved and lost.

Listen, I don’t know what to tell you. What started as a lark to have more to talk about with my dad ended up with me being a genuine fan of the NCIS franchise. Sue me!! The current team on NCIS Original Flavor includes former hostage negotiator and REACT agent Jessica Knight (Katrina Law) and lesbian lab tech/forensic scientist/certified genius Kasie Hines (Diona Reasonover, also a lesbian) and I love them very much. Aforementioned pop-up bisexual Briana Venskus even showed up to play Kasie’s ex on one episode, which I loved. I think what I continue to love about this show is that it sticks to the case-of-the-week format, no matter what else is going on, no matter how many overarching stories they also go through. Or no matter which long-standing character devastatingly dies and shakes everything up.

NCIS: New Orleans (2014 - 2021)
Vibe: Crime-of-the-week with a dash of teambuilding overarching storylines, but with more of a found family feel, and in New Orleans
Is it gay? Surprisingly yes

Spinoff of NCIS that takes place in New Orleans and really is a love letter to the city and the kind, familial nature of its residents. Besides all the murder, of course.

Even once I, somewhere within the 500+ episodes of the original NCIS, realized I was no longer watching it ironically, I still didn’t expect to love all the spinoffs. So I was surprised when I genuinely loved this show and realized it is maybe tied for first with NCIS: Hawaii for my favorite of the NCIS shows. I loved all the characters. Over the years the team included some truly great women to behold, including Meredith Brody (Zoe McLellan), Sonja Percy (Shalita Grant), Hannah Khoury (Necar Zadegan), and lesbian Italian firecracker Tammy Gregorio (Vanessa Ferlito). Tammy had some canon girlfriends, but that didn’t stop me from shipping her with Necar Zadegan’s character since I imprinted on Necar as a baby gay in the movie Elena Undone. If you like procedurals or liked NCIS: Hawaii specifically, you can absolutely watch this without watching NCIS Original Flavor, and I do recommend it. I was genuinely sad when I was out of episodes, and did in fact cry during the series finale.

NCIS: Sydney (2023 - present)
Vibe: Crime-of-the-week with a dash of teambuilding overarching storylines, but down unda
Is it gay? Blue has GOTTA be queer

Spinoff of NCIS that takes place in Sydney, Australia featuring a joint task force of American NCIS agents and the Australian Federal Police.

This team is headed up by no-nonsense American Michelle Mackey (Olivia Swann) and her Australian counterpart with a much more happy-go-lucky attitude, JD Dempsey (Todd Lasance). There are two women on the team, AFT Liaison officer Evie Cooper (Tuuli Narkle) and forensic scientist/adorable oddball Blue Gleeson (Mavournee Hazel) who are very fun to watch. This is not my favorite of the NCIS universe (in fact, possibly my second least favorite) but I do enjoy it well enough. It has some great accents and Mackey is almost always in a tank top, so that’s nice, too. And, for my fellow The Fosters fans, Maia Mitchell joined the team for a few episodes this seasons, and I’m hoping she returns in seasons to come.

NCIS: Los Angeles (2009 - 2023)
Vibe: Crime-of-the-week with a dash of teambuilding overarching storylines, but in LA
Is it gay? Not that I’ve found

Spinoff of NCIS that takes place in Los Angeles and specifically focuses on cases that include threats to national security, and also that usually have an element of undercover work.

I’m not fully done with this one yet but I’m in season six and I have a feeling things won’t change THAT dramatically by the time I do finish. The LA team is led by real-life Edna Mode Hetty (Linda Hunt), and the team features the stunning and badass Kensi Blye (Daniela Ruah) and adorable nerd Nell Jones (Renée Felice Smith). Also Chris O’Donnell (who is way better on this than 9-1-1: Nashville), Eric Christian Olsen, Barrett Foa, and LL Cool J. And while at first I thought this would just end up another background procedural for me, I am unfortunately disgustingly invested in a HETEROSEXUAL relationship and it’s actually causing a fracture in my sense of self because WHO AM I. But Kensi and Deeks have me in a chokehold and they get to have a really satisfying will they/won’t they YEARNING-filled slow burn that too many queer women characters are never afforded because their shows get cancelled after one season.

Kevin (2026 - present)
Vibe: Absurd, irreverent comedy
Is it gay? Yes

A neurotic cat’s owners break up so he decides to move into a pet rescue to find new humans, and along the way meets quite the cast of quirky characters.

As someone who loves the crass humor of adult animated shows like Big Mouth, I did enjoy this Aubrey-Plaza-created show for the most part. It was a little grosser than I would maybe like—as in, crusty eyes and cat vomit gross—but I was having a nice time. I loved that it was set in Queens! Plus, the voice acting was fun; Aparna Nancherla, Quinta Brunson, and even Patti LuPone. Whoopi Goldberg played a pansexual grifter cat and Aubrey Plaza also voiced her pitbull girlfriend. It was enjoyable and I am a bit bummed it didn’t get more time. RIP.

Bob’s Burgers (2011 - present)
Vibe: Wholesome family silliness
Is it gay? Sometimes! Very queer energy, generally speaking

Bob Belcher runs a restaurant in a seaside New Jersey town with his quirky wife and three mischievous kids who are always cooking up schemes in this clever, silly, wholesome show about family.

I love this show. I felt like I didn’t even do a good job writing a description of it because it’s that but so much more. It’s hilarious and charming and wholesome and silly and full of heart. Bob is so funny, Linda is a damn delight, Tina is a mess, Gene is a goofball, and Louise is chaos incarnate. I love how well the family gets along and that the “conflict” is rarely people fighting with each other; it’s usually trying to solve a problem in the most roundabout, insane way you can think of. The hairbrained schemes this family comes up with are next level! Plus sometimes there’s a fun song! It’s just a great time, an easy go-to for cheering up. I hope it never ends.

The Legend of Vox Machina (2022 - present)
Vibe: D&D adventure come to life
Is it gay? Yes, but not as gay as other CR joints

Based on the Critical Role D&D game, Vox Machina is a ragtag group of adventurers who join forces and inadvertently become heroes. They battle everything from local evils to dragons plaguing the nation and even some inner demons of their own.

This season isn’t quite over yet but I already know I love it. I’ve loved it from day one; seeing these characters I grew to love in the theater of the mind turned into fully realized characters before my very eyes is a wonder to behold. I love seeing how they change some aspects from table to screen, and also how they interpret some almost shot for shot despite there not being true “shots” the first time around. Plus I will never tire of hearing these particular voices in my ear. And this season includes some fun guest voices, including but not limited to Wayne Brady and Sara Ramirez!

Taskmaster (2015 - present)
Taskmaster AU (2023 - present)
Taskmaster NZ (2020 - present)
Vibe: Silly fun
Is it gay? Some contestants are

Five comedians at a time compete against each other doing silly tasks that are borderline humiliation rituals that they take very seriously and then are judged by a Taskmaster who is sometimes purposeful unfair and always deeply unserious.

I know I often say how much I hate picking favorites, but it’s actually easy for me in this case. UK is my favorite Taskmaster, with hilarious British comedians and Greg Davies being charming while towing the line between bully and buddy and Little Alex Horne being quite the character. Second favorite is Australia because the Taskmaster is pretty funny even though he’s not quite as charming as Greg, and the assistant Tom Cashman is hilarious. Third favorite is New Zealand because while the Taskmaster can be funny, his points distribution system is broken and I rarely agree with him, and sometimes he can be a little TOO mean. But his assistant Paul Williams is great. While every cast is different, there’s almost always a majority winners and only sometimes one or two people who are hard to watch. Generally speaking it’s guaranteed giggles every time.

Shining Vale (2022 - 2023)
Vibe: Absurd sci-fi family comedy
Is it gay? No

A woman moves into an old spooky house in Connecticut and can’t figure out if the house is haunted or if she has a mental illness...or both. Either way, very strange things are happening to Pat (Courteney Cox) and it’s starting to affect her husband (Greg Kinnear), daughter (Gus Birney) and son (Dylan Gage).

I had been vaguely aware of this show when it was on but hadn’t gotten around to it until my trip to Boston for Christmas when I watched it with my mother. I think it was probably too “out there” for her but she was a good sport (probably because she likes Courtney Cox). I thought it was a really fun combination of a little spooky and VERY silly while also making some very solid commentary on how mental illness in women is too often disregarded.

Happy’s Place (2024 - present)
Vibe: Workplace comedy but make it Reba
Is it gay? No

Reba McEntire plays Bobbie, a bar owner who finds out she has a secret half-sister who joins her in running the bar with her chosen family, where the jokes are cheesier than the nacho fries.

This show is very stupid. The jokes are obvious, the acting is cheesy, and the plot is thin. And yet...damn, is that Reba charming. And as someone who watched the original Reba sitcom when I was little, there’s something about watching her and Melissa Peterman together that is very nostalgic to me. And Reba and her real-life partner Rex Linn, who plays a chef in her bar on the show, have great chemistry. And they have had some fun guest stars. It’s definitely a boomer show that I cannot recommend, but I also just can’t bring myself to quit. It’s a fun lunch break show, at least.

Abbott Elementary (2021 - present)
Vibe: Workplace comedy but make it school
Is it gay? Boy gay

A documentary crew follows optimistic Philly teachers as they try to do their jobs despite obstacles like budget, school boards, and even a natural disaster or two. But it’s funnier than that makes it sound, just trust me.

This show is consistently delightful. It’s hilarious and has a way of surprising me at every turn. For example, when the show started, Ava annoyed me a bit. “Failing up”/stupidity as humor is my least favorite type of comedy; it’s why I can’t watch The Office. But then she surprised me, over and over, until all of a sudden I turned around and realized she is one of my favorite characters on this damn show. It also surprised me by making me care about a straight couple; which is, frankly, rude. This season had some fun twists, including but not limited to a childhood dream of mine: mall school!

High Potential (2024 - present)
Vibe: Quirky crime solving
Is it gay? Surprisingly no

Certified genius and free spirit Morgan Gillory charms herself into a consulting job for the LAPD and helps them solve crime with her photographic memory and endless bank of niche knowledge, all without ever dimming her hilarious wit or bright personality.

Kaitlin Olson is one of the funniest actors of our time, I’m sure of it. She makes it look easy, and always seems so casual, which must take an enormous amount of work. On this show, she makes it very clear that it’s Morgan’s world, we’re just living in it. She bounces between the humor and the heart perfectly, and is just so damn fun to watch. This season stressed me out by teasing a relationship I do NOT want to happen, and Van from Reba (sorry to Steve Howey but that is his name to me) arrived to shake things up. I am equally invested in the overarching story of Morgan’s ex and also the cases of the week; so far they are striking a perfect balance between the two.

Deadloch (2023 - 2026)
Vibe: Unserious murder mystery
Is it gay? Very, very gay

Tightly wound lesbian Dulcie (Kate Box) is paired up with chaos incarnate Eddie (Madeleine Sami) and the two have to try to solve a murder while also not murdering each other. This season took them to Eddie’s hometown, which, from what I can tell, is basically the Florida of Australia. Hilarity ensues.

When I first started this show, it took me a little while to get over the cringe factor of the style of humor (some second-hand embarrassment, mostly of men being idiots, sometimes of Dulcie’s wife being extra), but before long I was emotionally invested in this lil isle of lesbos. I was afraid season two would never match up, but even though there was a new cast of characters joining some of our old faves, and a new setting entirely, it was the same hilarious tone and intriguing mystery. A show for the gays, by the gays; you love to see it.

Shrinking (2023 - present)
Vibe: Comedy about therapists that will make you cry
Is it gay? I wish

Three therapists and their personal band of idiots made of family (both blood and bond) try to make their way through life while dealing with tragedy, hardships, changes, and just general lifey things. The jokes are non-stop and the sucker-punches to the feels are not infrequent.

Shrinking is a comedy. It is. It’s very funny. The one-liners never stop, the jokes are nearly constant, you could get whiplash from the number of clever witticisms that are thrown out per scene. But this show will also make you cry when you least expect it. This season, Harrison Ford’s character is winding down his time as a working therapist, and Jason Segel‘s daughter was prepping to leave for college, and it was just a lot of change and anxiety and goodbyes. But again, very funny! And also emotional. Not unlike life, I suppose. I highly recommend this show, and I’m glad I don’t have to totally say goodbye since it will be back for a fourth season.

The ‘Burbs (2026)
Vibe: Neighborhood comedy with a dash of mystery
Is it gay? Paula Pell is! (And so is her character.)

New parents Samira (Keke Palmer) and Rob (Jack Whitehall) move into Rob’s childhood home and meet some wacky neighbors (including but not limited to lesbian veteran Dana, played by Paula Pell) and together they investigate the mystery of the spooky Victorian house across the street to discover if it’s haunted by ghosts, racists, or a secret third thing.

This show is based on the Tom Hanks movie of the same name, if you’re familiar, and people in the comment section of my review seemed to think it was a good vibe match to the original, but I hadn’t even heard of that movie and I really enjoyed this show. Keke Palmer was at her best being grounded and hilarious amongst cartoonish characters, and even though the tone is a little absurdist and unserious, the mystery afoot felt high-stakes and genuinely had me guessing at every turn. I love a horror-comedy movie, but I haven’t seen too many horror-comedy TV shows, and I’m a fan.

PONIES (2026 - present)
Vibe: Spy thriller but make it hilarious
Is it gay? It is indeed!

Two wives of CIA agents find themselves tangled up in sexy spycraft themselves when their husbands are in a plane crash and the government thinks they can use the unassuming women to get answers. The women end up surprising everyone, including themselves, with what they are capable of.

The two main women in this show, Bea and Twila, are played by Emilia Clarke and Haley Lu Richardson respectively, and while the concept of this show intrigued me from the jump, it was an interview of the two of them displaying their friend chemistry that got me to hit play. I really enjoyed watching these women figure out what they’re good at, what they want, and how to get it. Plus, bonus Vic Michaelis from Dropout and a very fun queer subplot. I really hope this one gets a second season, I want more of Bea and Twila.

Ted (2024 - present)
Vibe: Absurdist Boston humor
Is it gay? Ted’s cousin is queer

Based on the movies of the same name, it’s the origin story of Ted, the teddy bear who came to life. When the boy who wished him to life becomes a teenager, the two become a pair of inseparable, foul-mouthed potheads who always find themselves in ridiculous predicaments, sometimes involving their conservative father, delicate and out-of-touch mother, or queer cousin Blaire.

I got paid to watch this show, and I can’t imagine I would have started it otherwise, but I’m also not super mad I did? It’s not the best show, but as someone who grew up in Boston and also in the 90s when low-brow comedy movies were at their peak, there’s something nostalgic about this show to me. Plus, unlike the movies, this show seems to be a little more aware of what’s offensive and has Blaire be the voice of reason to let us know where the show itself stands even when characters are out of line. I think (most of) the jokes about queerness were especially well done, walking the line without punching down, unless the person punching down was about to be made to look like a fool for doing so. This season also featured a very special D&D episode starring THEE Brennan Lee Mulligan. Two seasons was the exact right amount of seasons, and I’m glad they didn’t go for any more.

Heartbreak High (2022 - 2026)
Vibe: Australian high schoolers behaving badly
Is it gay? Gayer every season

A group of rowdy and mostly queer Australian teenagers get into all kinds of hijinx and try not to get expelled about it. This season: a senior prank goes horribly wrong when someone gets injured. Plus, exes are back in town, secrets are being revealed, and everyone’s future is both on the line and also a big fat question mark as they approach the end of their final year of high school.

These Australian teens stress me the hell out, man. Talk about bad decisions, these kids are constantly getting into all kinds of trouble; everything from lying and cheating to breaking literal laws. But gosh are they endearing. And so many of them are queer. This year’s prank gone wrong was really stressful because they were all blaming themselves and I actually thought it was one of their least dangerous decisions and yet it all went wrong. It was a great final season. And this show gets bonus points because Quinni is not only queer but also autistic, and her actress Chloé Hayden is also queer and autistic, and has said the show was very open to her feedback about how to make Quinni authentic representation on both fronts, and that’s a double win in my book.

Hacks (2021 - present)
Vibe: Hilarious feminist cultural commentary
Is it gay? Gayer every season

Comedian Deborah Vance attempts to revitalize her career with the help of bisexual menace writer Ava, who does her best to keep up with Deborah’s rich and famous antics while being a chaos-magnet herself.

This show is at its best when it’s all about Deborah and Ava, and this season had a lot of that, which I really loved. Their dynamic has always been the most interesting part of the show to me, back when it first started out and they had no idea how to work together, all the way up to when they were so close they believably played lovers in front of Deborah’s friends. Their relationship is codependent and borderline toxic and shouldn’t work on paper but somehow super does because of what Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder bring to the relationship. I love it. I don’t always love the side quests with the agents but I DID love this season’s side quest with Deborah’s daughter...though my love for Kaitlin Olson is already well-established. I’m so sad this show is over that I actually haven’t watched the series finale yet; maybe I never will. Or maybe I’ll do what I did with The Good Place and wait almost five years, then rewatch the whole show but go all the way to the end this time. We’ll see.

Ghosts (2021 - present)
Vibe: Jokes on jokes with lovely character growth and heartwarming moments
Is it gay? Man-gay mostly, though Flower is fluid

Married couple Sam (Rose McIver) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) try to keep their inn and restaurant business alive all while dealing with centuries of needy ghosts who love a good shenanigan that only Sam can see.

This show has been consistently making me laugh for five seasons with no signs of slowing down. The predicaments the ghosts manage to get themselves into are always hilarious, watching Sam trying to navigate helping them without seeming like a looney tune to people who don’t know she sees ghosts, and Jay’s neverending patience with it all tickles me to no end. There are some repeated bits that I love, but they’re also constantly coming up with new lore and new ghosts to keep things fun and hilarious. It’s one of my favorite feel-good comedies.

Woo! We did it! 50 shows, can you even believe it! On Friday, I’ll pick my faves and write even more about them. And next week, since there’s a bonus Tuesday in June next year, I’ll have a bonus installment in Media Mayhem, never before done and perhaps never to be done again. See you then!

In fact, so much so that even though I did force myself to narrow down the list to five, I have some runners-up I want to shout out. I had five 5-star books on my list this year, but two of them are not featured on this faves list. What Doesn’t Break by Cassandra Khaw I axed because I thought perhaps it had an unfair advantage, since I am already such a Laudna and Marisha Ray fan, and it’s not the kind of book that I would recommend to non-Critical Role fans, even though for me it was a five-star listen. I didn’t include Lumberjanes either, because it was 20 issues of a graphic novel and technically I had already read the first few issues before this year and it felt a little murky about whether I should include them. I tossed Get Over It, April Evans even though it was my favorite romance I’ve read so far this year, because while it was a 4.75-star romance read, I think as far as overall books I read it might have ranked a little lower. So while I did narrow the list on vibes first and then went to check to make sure my star-ratings lined up, the list below will have three of my 5-star reads, then my only two 4.5-star reads for the year so far.

As always, these reviews will be a little longer and more specific and spoilery, though I will try to avoid giving away any major twists or endings in case you’re the kind of person who does want more specifics but doesn’t want the book totally spoiled for you before you dive in. Each section will be demarcated by a photo of the book cover and a non-spoilery quote from the book for easy scrolling.

And now, gentlereaders, I present to you, my favorite books of the year so far!

Read more

As with movies, I sorted these books into categories with my heart; though, unlike movies, I do think the critics would agree with more of these genres than not. I tried to keep them pretty broad. Each book will have info up top (what format I used, the vibe it gives off, my star rating, and how gay it is), a small blurb about the plot written by yours truly, then my spoiler-light micro-review. We’ve got a pretty good crop this time around, though the ratings do range from 2.5 to 5 stars, with genres ranging from surreal sci-fi to YA romance, from historical fiction to a Stephen King thriller. So, no matter your go-to genre, hopefully you can find a recommendation or two from this eclectic list.

Onward!

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What the Woods Took by Courtney Gould
Format: Digital
Vibe: Supernatural survival
My rating: 4.5 stars
Is it gay? It sure is

Some troubled teens are placed in a wilderness therapy program (and while some of them are queer, it is gratefully not a conversion camp). Devin Green has been sent here by foster parents, just weeks before she turns 18 and can finally be free of the system that has continuously let her down. And now she’s stuck in the woods with some timid weirdos and a really mean purple-haired girl. Woods that seem to have something...supernatural going on in them...and not in the fun fairy ring kind of way.

When I started this book I was really afraid we were veering into The Miseducation of Cameron Post territory but luckily it was nothing of the sort. It’s a dark, mysterious, stressful, climactic story of teens lost in supernatural woods, while also being emotional and gay and just overall a really great read. I love the way Courtney Gould writes, I feel like I’m able to sink into the story really quickly and stay there, and I loved the characters. I actually forgot this book was going to be supernatural for the first like fourth of it, I was just really locked in on the drama of being taken to a wilderness therapy program against their will, and then was delighted when spooky things started happening. Courtney Gould is two for two for me! I will be going back for more.

Stranger Things: One Way or Another, A Nancy Wheeler Mystery by Caitlin Schneiderhan
Format: Physical
Vibe: Lore-accurate fanfic
My rating: 3.5 stars
Is it gay? Robin is gay panicking all over this book

Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley work together to try to solve a murder because Nancy really wants to punch Vecna in the balls but he is nowhere to be found. This cute little mystery takes place between Seasons 4 and 5 of Stranger Things.

Is this book basically like reading sanctioned fanfic? Yes. Did I enjoy every second of it anyway? Also yes. I don’t know that I would read all of the Stranger Things companion novels, but I do want to read any Nancy and/or Robin ones they have, because I think that’s one relationship they could have developed more in the show if they hadn’t wasted so much time on the damn Russians. (And I mean friendship, even though I do ship them romantically with my whole heart.) This book was a fun side-quest for Nancy and Robin specifically, and Nancy being so smart and solving mysteries but not picking up how gay Robin was through the closet of glass was hilarious. Like the book wanted to make sure WE remembered Robin is gay—Vickie even shows up—but somehow Nancy glances over the idea that Robin is a raging homosexual without ever fully landing on it. It also canonized Jonathan’s gaydar, which amused me greatly.

Voice Like a Hyacinth by Mallory Pearson
Format: Digital
Vibe: Vibey and artsy
My rating: 4 stars
Is it gay? I’m talking four lesbians and a bisexual in a friend group gay

A gaggle of gays in college grapple with their commune-like living situation coming to an end, graduation looming, and being pitted against each other in their competitive art program. And by “grapple with” I mean “do dark magic about it.”

This book was very surreal and mesmerizing and artsy and queer and intriguing. It reminded me of movies like The Craft, and Thirteen, and Foxfire, movies where women (or girls) get so wrapped up in each other, so obsessed with each other, that they end up dragging each other down darker and darker paths until something implodes. It’s beautifully written and I really thought it was going to be more frustrating to read a book where all of the characters are visual artists, but the author obviously did a beautiful job describing the paintings. I came to this book sort of by accident, and it was also sort of a series of unfortunate events that led to me starting it when I did, but I’m so glad I read it.

Queen of Teeth by Hailey Piper
Format: Physical
Vibe: Dystopian body horror
My rating: 3 stars
Is it gay? It is, in fact

Yaya Betancourt has a rare genetic condition that forces her to be studied and tested by corporate conglomerate AlphaBeta Pharmaceutical, which was all well and good...until she woke up with vagina dentata. Now suddenly she finds herself on the run, trying to avoid becoming ABP’s next experiment.

This book is...very strange. I won’t lie, I mostly read it because I was looking for a queer book that started with Q for my book journal’s alphabet challenge. It was working with some interesting metaphors and making some good points while also being very violent and kind of icky. I felt a little distant from the characters and wanted a little more from the book on that front, but it’s a quick read and fun from a surreal sci-fi perspective. It reminded me a little of Venom, but make it feminist. And also, toward the end, of the video game Control in a way I can’t quite put my finger on.

The Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley
Format: Digital
Vibe: Whodunnit
My rating: 3.25 stars
Is it gay? A little!

Jess’s life isn’t going particularly well, so she decides to visit her perfect brother Ben in his perfect apartment, hoping some of his perfect life will rub off on her...only to arrive and find him missing. In searching for him, she begins to discover that maybe his shiny life in his fancy apartment building isn’t so perfect after all.

My brother and sister-in-law introduced me to Lucy Foley and I’ve been having a good time with her so far, two books into her bibliography. This one is a classic whodunnit that had both some predictable reveals and some fun twists. While not quite the same caliber, her books have a similar vibe and structure to some Agatha Christie novels. She’s very good at laying out multiple POVs that progress the story without revealing too much before it’s time. If I were the re-reading type, I could see her books being fun to give a second go to be able to see the clues hidden in plain sight that you missed the first time.

Margaret and the Mystery of the Missing Body by Megan Milks
Format: Physical
Vibe: Strange and unsettling
My rating: 3.5 stars
Is it gay? Yes, much to Margaret’s surprise

In this surreal, genre-defying novel, we follow Margaret in two distinct stages of her life. When she is the president of a club of supernatural-mystery-solving middle schoolers called Girls Can Solve Anything, and when she finds herself in an in-treatment facility for an eating disorder. A facility that has a ghost.

I know I used the word “surreal” in the description, but it really is the best word for the job here. It just got more and more surreal as the book went on. I will say, as someone who has struggled in the eating disorder department in the past, those aspects of the book were a little harder for me to read, but I do think it was really well done in that regard. Part of me wished the whole book was about the Girls Can Solve Anything club, but I understand the disillusioned adult vibe Megan Milks was going for. Some parts of this book I really liked, others didn’t quite land for me, but it sure was quite the ride.

Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King
Format: Physical
Vibe: Old school detective mystery
My rating: 3.5 stars
Is it gay? There was a lesbian side character, though frankly I wish there wasn’t

When Detective Bill Hodges retires from the force, there are only a handful of open cases that still plague him. One being the man who ran over a bunch of innocent bystanders with a Mercedes. A man who is now taunting the former detective with threatening letters, which gets Hodges off his ass and back into the field to do some off-the-record snooping to see if he can solve one last case...before the killer strikes again. Dun dun dunnnn.

Stephen King have a minority of any kind in your story without using slurs challenge! The lesbian in this book wasn’t even a real part of the story, but I can’t even give him points for inclusivity because she was called a dyke (and not in the fun way) by two different characters at two different times without pushback at all. One of them wasn’t even supposed to be a bad guy! 2009 wasn’t THAT long ago. Sheesh. And don’t even get me started on the Black character, who was at least a great character, even if I have a lot of Notes on how people talked to him (and also, sometimes, how he talked). That said, there was a good story under all those questionable writing choices. (My man does NOT know what a tramp stamp is, for example, and once described a woman as having one on her ankle.) It was really fascinating being in the head of the killer as well as the detective hunting him. I’d be interested to watch the miniseries about it to test my Stephen King theory, though I’ll probably wait until I finish the whole first trilogy before I do. It’s the first book in my journey to read all the Holly Gibney books, so it was a necessary evil.

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore
Format: Digital
Vibe: Stress
My rating: 4.25 stars
Is it gay? A tiny bit

A very prestigious family funds a summer camp and sends their daughter to it for the first time, only for her to get lost in the very same woods her brother disappeared in years earlier. Rumors fly and suspects abound as everyone scrambles to learn the truth about what happened to the Van Laar children. Or: Panic! At the Summer Camp.

A very intriguing mystery with very engaging characters, this book had me second-guessing myself at every turn. It bordered on having too many characters, but it definitely kept things interesting, and it was nice to have different perspectives on the goings-on. There were definitely parts where I was so sure I had solved something and then I was wrong, which is always fun. There were a few loose ends I wish were tied up a little better but overall a really solid read.

Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh by Rachael Lippincott
Format: Physical
Vibe: Exceedingly sweet
My rating: 4 stars
Is it gay? Queer awakenings galore

After a breakup with her unsupportive boyfriend and a deadline for art school looming but no new art in her sketchbook, Audrey is stuck. Betrothed to a man she barely knows, let alone likes, and forced to play by society’s rules by her overbearing father, Lucy is stuck. If somehow their worlds, despite being centuries apart, should cross, could they get each other unstuck?

This one is cheesy but in an endearing way. It’s one that skews younger and I think that if I had read books like this as a teenager it might not have taken me so long into my adulthood to start giving romance books a chance. I will say this one isn’t pure romance; there’s a sci-fi element that keeps things weird, which I appreciated. Definitely imperfect, but a fun read.

I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston
Format: Physical
Vibe: Clever and hilarious teen romcom
My rating: 5 stars
Is it gay? Very much so

Shara Wheeler is Chloe Green’s arch-nemesis, her only competition for valedictorian. Shara Wheeler is popular and rich and practically royalty in their small Alabama town as the principal’s daughter. And Shara Wheeler is missing. She has left behind clues for the last three people she kissed—her quarterback boyfriend, her burnout next door neighbor, and Chloe Green—and together they have to figure out why Shara left, and where she is, all before graduation.

Casey McQuiston does it again! This book is clever and hilarious and unapologetically queer and I had a damn blast reading it. It felt healing to my inner closeted teen, while also appealing to my escape-room-loving adult self. It’s a mystery wrapped up in a story about small town queers finding each other wrapped up in an enigma. The casual humor really stuck out to me; Chloe’s inner monologue is sarcastic and no-nonsense and so unique compared to a lot of the more bland inner workings of main characters in other YA romances I’ve read. I just had a great time reading this from start to finish.

If We Were a Movie by Zakiya N. Jama
Format: Digital
Vibe: Sweet and nerdy
My rating: 4.25 stars
Is it gay? Main character and most of her friends are!

Rochelle and Amira used to be friends, but now they are competing to be valedictorian and get into the best schools. When Rochelle starts a new job to pad her college application, she is horrified to learn that Amira works there, too. And of course, they not only have to work together selling concessions, but also to try to solve the mystery of who is trying to sabotage the independent, Black-owned theater and save it from having to close.

There’s no way I could have predicted this, but I read this book two books after I Kissed Shara Wheeler, and it had a very similar academic rival storyline that was executed very differently and I wish I had read them further apart from each other. Because this one was very cute! I just couldn’t help but compare it at times and Casey McQuiston is just in a whole different ballpark. That said, I did enjoy this one, and I really liked the subplot of trying to save the theater. Also, I’m not mad about getting the Hannah Montana song stuck in my head while I was reading.

Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko
Format: Digital
Vibe: Teen drama
My rating: 3.75 stars
Is it gay? Says so right on the tin

Based on her song-turned-music-video-turned-movie of the same name, singer Hayley Kiyoko makes her novel debut with this sweet coming-of-age tale of Coley, who was forced to move to small-town Oregon to live with her father and finds herself drawn to local popular girl, Sonya. Is this her chance to fit in her new town, or will Sonya and her friends reject her and turn her into a social outcast before her senior year even begins?

Another book that kept a song I love stuck in my head for a while! I respect the hell out of Hayley Kiyoko’s hustle, turning Girls Like Girls into every form of media she can imagine. This book was definitely unpolished and could have used a stronger edit, but it was very cute and very 90s. Every once in a while there would be a sentence or paragraph that was very poetic and lyrical in a way that reminded you that a singer/songwriter wrote it, and I really liked that. I’m looking forward to seeing the movie now that I know about the expanded world of the music video, I think it could be quite a cute film.

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo
Format: Physical
Vibe: Moody and interesting
My rating: 4 stars
Is it gay? Quite queer

It’s the 1950s in San Francisco and high school senior Lily Hu is finally putting words to the feelings she’s been having when doing things like reading a novel about two women in love or seeing an ad in the newspaper for a “male impersonator” (what we would call a drag king). How will Lily cope with being queer and Chinese in a country and a time that doesn’t treat either particularly well?

I put this under YA Romance because I didn’t have enough books for a YA Historical Fiction section, but I think it was a pretty even split between romance and historical fiction. There were definitely chapters that leaned more heavily into the history aspects and they weren’t my favorite chapters, but they were definitely interesting. I loved Lily’s story, though, and while she came off a lot younger than she was, it was still a great reminder that queer people have always been here, in all races and cultures, even when we had to be underground about it. Bonus: I haven’t read Malinda Lo in a while and it was great to get back to her!

For Her Consideration by Amy Spalding
Format: Digital
Vibe: Fluffy Hollywood romance
My rating: 3.75
Is it gay? Extremely

LA lesbian Nina Rice is still reeling from her last breakup, which caused her to retreat into a personal sphere of work and her elderly aunt where no one can hurt her. But when Ari Fox, a client at the talent agency she works for who is described as a “Kristen Stewart type,” asks to meet up to discuss work, her bubble threatens to pop.

This was an easy, relatively fun read, even though it was ultimately not entirely my jam. It had some humor and sexy bits, and it’s not the books fault I hate LA and that I’m more used to dragon-fighting action and not two chapters of someone answering emails. The main conflict in this book is a little “steak too juicy, lobster too buttery” for me and it was frustrating watching Nina get in her own way at such a big age, but I was in the mood for a gay, fluffy, quick read and this provided. I’m still new-ish to the romance genre and not everything is going to grip me like Delilah Green did.

Chocolate Chip City by Be Steadwell
Format: Digital
Vibe: Sisters and their dramas + the Black history of DC
My rating: 3.5 stars
Is it gay? Indeed

Three sisters who live in DC navigate their lives and try to maintain their relationship despite their dreams seeming to overlap in incompatible ways. Technically they also have magic? Though that isn’t as relevant as you’d think.

I love Be Steadwell’s music and you can definitely feel a similar poetry in the book as you can in their songs. It was a little messy, structurally; there were a lot of different POVs but they weren’t very cleanly delineated so the omniscience of the narrator was inconsistent within chapters. And I do wish the magic of it came into play a LOT more than it did (or wasn’t an aspect at all, I suppose). But I enjoyed learning about some of the Black history of DC and I did love how very gay it was.

Get Over It, April Evans by Ashley Herring Blake
Format: Digital
Vibe: Sexy, sapphic, bad idea romance
My rating: 4.75 stars
Is it gay? Gayer than you can imagine

Second in the Clover Lake series, this story follows April Evans (you’re shocked, I know) during a bad time in her life. Her best friend moved across the country, she had to shut down her tattoo parlor, and because sometimes the universe likes to kick you when you’re down: she now has to work with the girl her ex-almost-wife left her for. CAN she get over it?? Because this sounds like it has the potential to hop genres from Romance to True Crime REAL fast.

I’m a big Ashley Herring Blake fan. Her stories are small-town-sweet and sapphic and sexy, but also always have a Major Plotline going on that has nothing to do with the romance at all. It usually involves a career move, but sometimes family or other such lifey things you have to deal with as an adult. (And I do love that these characters are often in their late 20s or 30s instead of freshly 21.) This book in particular I really loved. Something about the characters was really gripping to me, and their situation was so fascinating. In fact, despite this being my fifth AHB book, it’s easily my second favorite overall, with Delilah Green Doesn’t Care holding its top spot. As I was giggling and kicking my feet finishing this one I had the horrifying thought, “I can’t believe I like romance books now. Yikes.” What will this do to my “love is a lie” brand!

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins
Format: Physical
Vibe: Freshly post-apocalyptic
My rating: 4.75 stars
Is it gay? A weeeee bit

A prequel to the Hunger Games, in which we get to see when (and why) they include mentors for the first time in the 10th Annual Games. Specifically, it follows a young Coriolanus Snow, for better or worse.

This book was on my list since it came out but it kept being bumped down my list in favor of other books for one reason or another. I had plenty of time, I figured. But then I became a Rachel Zegler superfan so when the movie came out and she was in it I was like, guess I should get this Hunger Games ball rolling. So after rereading the original trilogy, I dove into this, and I liked it even more than I thought I would. Lucy Gray Baird is such a wonderful character. And it was really fascinating reading about Snow as a young man, and how the attitude and structure of the games was so different in those early years. A really, really great prequel.

Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins
Format: Physical
Vibe: Tragic story of how the government can fail us
My rating: 5 stars
Is it gay? Some background gays

Haymitch Abernathy is many things. He’s a dutiful son, a caring older brother, a skilled hooch-maker...but most of all, Haymitch Abernathy is in love. He is content to spend his days whiling the hours with his precious Lenore Dove, until his 16th birthday, when he is reaped for the 50th Annual Hunger Games.

I wasn’t sure how much I could possibly like this book, since we already knew how Haymitch’s story played out, just not the specifics of it. Sometimes knowing the ending spoils the story, but not in this case. It was heartbreaking and devastating and I started crying on page 35 and feel like I hardly stopped the rest of the time. It’s stunningly written, a devastatingly beautiful story, and gave me a new appreciation for Haymitch I didn’t have before.

Extraordinary Quests for Amateur Witches by Kayla Cottingham
Format: Digital
Vibe: D&D quest, part two!
My rating: 4.25 stars
Is it gay? Everyone is gay!

In this sequel to Practical Rules for Cursed Witches, self-conscious witch Kieran embarks on another Calling with his friends—this time, his own. Can he succeed, or will his magic be taken from him forever? Can he break the curse he may or may not have accidentally written when he was just trying to write emo sadboi poetry? Can he trust the distractingly handsome stranger he hired to help on the quest he was given by a swamp witch? Only time will tell.

I don’t often read books with male main characters, not even gay ones, because I don’t have to and you can’t make me. Don’t get me wrong, I HAVE, but more often than not it’s because it’s a multi-POV book. And yet, I chose to go into this one because I loved the first book so much, and I’m glad I did. It’s very cute and sweet and has D&D vibes. Plus a literal “collect these three things” QUEST. It was a very fun continuation, and I’m glad the lesbian main characters from the first book were still around in the background of this one.

Lumberjanes (all of it) by ND Stevenson et al
Format: Physical
Vibe: Friendship to the max!
My rating: 5 stars
Is it gay? Queer to the max!!

At Miss Qiunzilla Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady-Types, a group of teens keeps stumbling into weird magical mysteries they have to work together to solve. Sometimes there are monsters, or myths, or gods, or bear-women, or an abundance of kittens. But always, there is friendship.

While I was looking for a book that starts with X that doesn’t sound like absolute trash to finish my Alphabet Challenge in my book journal, I realized that not only was there a Lumberjanes volume that would count (X Marks the Spot!) but also that I had somehow never read Lumberjanes in its entirety. So I went back from the beginning and read the whole damn thing. It’s PERFECT. It’s just so CUUUUUUTE and queer and supernatural and sweet and WHOLESOME and FRIENDSHIP TO THE MAX. I couldn’t get enough and absolutely cried my way through the last issue.

The House Saphir by Marissa Meyer
Format: Digital
Vibe: Magical and funny
My rating: 4.25 stars
Is it gay? Some queer side characters

Mallory Fontaine has a good thing going giving ghost tours to tourists in a murder house, complete with ghosts both real and fake, while her sister sells fake potions and trinkets. One day, they are met with the chance for the ultimate scam when they’re invited to the House Saphir to rid it of an infamous ghost...but soon after they arrive they realize they may have bitten off more than they can chew.

I knew I was going to like Mallory Fontaine on the very first page, when it said, “She was an expert on not getting murdered.” She is sarcastic and funny and takes no shit, her only flaw is that she seems to be straight. She’s young though, she could grow out of it. I remember reading Marissa Meyer when I was first getting back into reading for pleasure after college, specifically the Lunar Chronicles, which were all fairytale retellings, so I was excited to read another one of her books as an adult. I thought this one was not a retelling but I was wrong, I just happened to not be familiar with the source material—the tale of Bluebeard! I enjoyed this magical world and character work a lot. A great balance of serious and funny and whimsical and dramatic.

Brewed with Love by Shelly Page
Format: Digital
Vibe: Magical teens save the day
My rating: 3.5 stars
Is it gay? Adorably so

Sage Bishop is seething because her ex-crush/maybe girlfriend/best friend Ximena Reyes is back in her life after four years and working at her grandmother’s apothecary, which is distracting her from her goal of creating the perfect heartbreak tonic to stand out from the big box store that recently moved in one town over. But soon Sage is forced to work with Ximena at more than just the store; namely, solving mysteries and trying to save the town’s source of magic.

This one was almost saccharine sweet but it’s the kind of book that would have changed my life as a teenager. It sort of has Disney Channel Original Movie vibes, and I do mean that as a compliment. The worldbuilding needed work and the voice was a little inconsistent, but the characters were fun and the relationship was cute and gay and it was a quick, fun read. Can’t really go wrong with gay witches, yaknow?

The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
Format: Physical
Vibe: Indian-inspired high fantasy
My rating: 4.25 stars
Is it gay? Indeed it is

This story follows many, many people but mostly two women: Priya, a maid with secret magic, and Malini, a princess in exile. They aren’t supposed to meet, let alone interact, and they DEFINITELY shouldn’t be plotting to save the empire from a dictator’s rule…but well-behaved women seldom make history.

This is the kind of epic fantasy world I love to sink my teeth into. The worldbuilding was great, and I felt really immersed in it. There was some really great YEARNING in this book, which I love. I was fascinated by the magic system, and all of the characters were so complex and interesting. My only real complaint is that there might have been too many POV characters; I felt a war flashback from reading Game of Thrones at one point, but eventually my training kicked in and I made it through. I didn’t know this was a series going into it, but I’m excited to read the rest of the books.

This Princess Kills Monsters by Ry Herman
Format: Digital
Vibe: Hilarious and whimsical
My rating: 4.5 stars
Is it gay? Very

Once upon a time there was a princess named Melilot who was a nameless character in the Grimm fairytale The Twelve Huntsman, but now she is getting to tell her own story. One of adventure, magic, sorceresses, royalty, a talking lion, and twelve nearly identical masked huntsmen that all have a wildly specific and strange power, like being able to turn a window into a slightly larger window.

My friend Heather recommended this book to me and I’m SO glad I did. It was a damn blast. The way this is written is so hilarious and felt like it was in the same voice my friends and I talk to each other in, which I was very delighted by. It’s mystical and whimsical and ridiculous and emotional and had so many fun references to fairytales, both specifically and generally, in such clever ways. And I learned things! Did you know that rapunzel is a type of plant?? Anyways, this book was a blast and I highly recommend it to anyone who grew up on once upon a times and happily ever afters.

Cursebound by Saara El-Arifi
Format: Digital
Vibe: High fantasy, mystery and intrigue
My rating: 4 stars
Is it gay? Quite

It’s hard to describe this book without spoiling the first (Faebound) but I’ll try: elven sisters Yeeran and Lettle find themselves entwined in the politics of a fae world they previously didn’t even know existed. While there, they are solving mysteries that involve murder and betrayal, uncovering long-forgotten truths, and falling in love. (Not with each other; with a woman and man, respectively.)

If I’m being very honest, I probably should have given this 3.5 stars but the books are very diverse and queernormative and I felt like a lot of the reviews were unfairly harsh so I bumped it up a bit. I think the world and the lore are very fascinating, and I’ve enjoyed learning more about them with each book, even if the emotional stakes aren’t really there for me. Plus, I mean, talking mythical horned kitties!! Cursebound specifically was very much the middle book in the trilogy, and serves as a solid bridge and set up for the next book. Which I learned the hard way doesn’t come out until later this year.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Format: Digital
Vibe: Spaceship of hell and torture
My rating: 3 stars
Is it gay? Very gender and sexuality expansive

Aster is a scientist on a spaceship with a strict (and very racist) caste system whose mother was deemed crazy before she died. After finding some of her notes, Aster is starting to wonder if her mother had more answers for how to buck the system than she thought.

This is another one I only found because of the Alphabet Challenge. And the only reason I gave it three stars instead of two is because the last fourth of the book or so really picked up for me. I think there’s a good story in there, but too much of this book was spent going over physical and sexual abuse in graphic detail, which just is not my jam. And I didn’t feel it was strictly necessary for the story at hand; the dynamics of the spaceship, the sexism and racism and violence were all well-established without it. The writing was also kind of dry for me. I wanted to like this one more than I did.

Our Vicious Descent by Hayley Dennings
Format: Digital
Vibe: Dark and gritty
My rating: 3.25 stars
Is it gay? All vampires are gay, including “reapers”

In this sequel to This Ravenous Fate, Layla, a vampire—sorry, reaper—and her ex-best friend/ex-lover, Elise, who happens to be from the family who hates reapers most of all, have to deal with the fallout from the first book, including but not limited to finding a missing person dear to them, and fighting off bigger evils than they’ve had to face thus far.

I am bummed to report I did not like this book nearly as much as I liked the first one. It was too long and overly complex. I lost the plot halfway through and was really only powering through for the dynamic between Layla and Elise and to see where it would end up. Their storyline was good, but the other stuff was muddied and unclear. And it’s the first time in a long time I finished a book and thought, “Wow, I HATED that ending.” I liked the first enough that I would still check out a future book Hayley Dennings wrote but this sequel was not it.

Critical Role: Bells Hells, What Doesn’t Break by Cassandra Khaw, Narrated by Robbie Daymond, Marisha Ray, Laura Bailey, and Grey DeLisle
Format: Audiobook
Vibe: D&D character tragic backstory
My rating: 5 stars
Is it gay? You know it

We go back in time to when Laudna was still Matilda, how she became Laudna, how she got that pesky voice in her head, and how she spent her time in the decades before she met the people who would become her friends and family in Bells Hells.

This book takes “tragic D&D backstory” to a whole new level, and I say this as someone who is a bit of a connoisseur of tragic D&D backstories. Marisha Ray and her characters have been near and dear to my heart since I first saw episode one of Vox Machina and fell head over heels for Keyleth of the Air Ashari. Then she was Beauregard Lionette, who I adored just as much if not more. And then along came Laudna, who I simply adored. She was dark and mysterious and “fun scary” and charming and I loved her so much, and also her dynamic with Laura Bailey’s Imogen. So I loved getting a deeper look into Laudna’s backstory, even though it was downright devastating. I listened to the audiobook for this one, since it was read by some of my favorite voice actors, including Marisha herself, and expertly narrated by Robbie Daymund. It was a great time, even when it was making me teary, and a wonderful supplement to the Critical Role canon.

A Game of Hearts and Heists by Ruby Roe
Format: Digital
Vibe: The ‘plot what plot’ tag in AO3
My rating: 2.5 stars
Is it gay? Gay AND horny

In a world that has horse-drawn carriages but also motorcycles for some reason, assassins Scarlet Grey (stabber) and Quinn Adams (poisoner) are in constant competition until they are forced to join forces to go on, you guessed it, a heist. Also they fuck a lot, even though they hate each other.

This book is...not good! It needed another pass from an editor BAD. The writing was sloppy, there were plot holes galore, and while the bones of the plot were interesting, there were too many other things that detracted from it to redeem the book entirely. The only thing it really had going for it was that it was horny and gay and involved magic. It felt a lot like reading an “original character” fanfic with the “plot what plot” or “porn without plot” tag on AO3. Which would be fine if I was on AO3, but not when I’m taking the time to read a whole book.

Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by V.E. Schwab
Format: Physical
Vibe: Lesbian vampires let’s goooo
My rating: 5 stars
Is it gay? The gayest

This story follows some lesbian vampires throughout the ages, from 1532 Spain to modern-day Boston and so many places in between. It tells of their lives and deaths and afterlives, with stunning prose that makes you never want the story to end.

Two words: LESBIAN. VAMPIRES. I got this book from my sister-in-law for Christmas and I have never felt so seen in my life. This book is SO fucking good. It’s beautifully written, with stunning worldbuilding. It doesn’t jump through time so often it’s disorienting, and there aren’t so many characters you get lost in it. It’s surprising and exciting and just a really great read. It’s atmospheric and poetic and heartbreaking and thrilling and just wonderful. It’s going to be a real contender for my favorite book of the year, I can already tell.

And that’s all she wrote! And read! Check back in Friday for my top five faves, and then next week for my TV list!

If I were curating this list, instead of going off truly my favorites, I would have added more variety. Instead, we have four horror movies (though some are horror comedies) and one movie adaptation of a piece of classic literature. Because I contain multitudes. Also if I were doing this the traditional way instead of my way, it probably would all be movies that came out this year. And while four of these movies, by pure happenstance, came out either last year or this year, one came out in 2019. So there’s really no rhyme or reason here.

Random aside: I saw three of these movies in theaters with a friend, and I am now wondering if I tend to like movies better, or have a more lasting memory of enjoying them, when I watch them in theaters. Something I’ll have to keep an eye on, trend-wise.

As always, these mini-reviews will be more spoilery and specific than the micro-reviews on Tuesday, though they won’t fully spoil any major twists or endings. They will be separated by a non-spoilery image so you can scroll safely past any movies you aren’t ready to read about yet. (Sometimes I feel repetitive when I write these intros, but it’s always possible someone happened upon this one as their first Media Mayhem entry, and I want everyone to be able to navigate spoilers as they wish. I feel a little like Ann M. Martin introducing the girls at the beginning of every Baby-Sitters Club book.) I also included my favorite Letterboxd comment for each movie, because sometimes other people are funnier than me. Sometimes.

So now, my top five favorite movies I’ve watched this year so far!

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But first, some movie math. I have watched 27 movies so far this year, which I think is a record low since I started doing Media Mayhem. In my defense, I’ve been doing a lot of big TV binges, so I haven’t been in a movie mood as much. But I will also be adding in some movies I watched at the end of the year, in the span of 2025 after I published my movie Media Mayhem but before the new year, which WOULD technically bring the number up to 45. HOWEVER, I’m not going to include blurbs for the 11 holiday movies I watched, because it’s June and also most of them I watched with my parents and probably would never have watched if left to my own devices. (Though my mother found a loophole into getting me to watch Hallmark Christmas movies with her voluntarily...pick ones with Hilarie Burton in them. Or lesbians.) Which brings our number of blurbs back down to 34. However, just for funsies, I will categorize the holiday movies real fast:

Good and gay:

Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)
The Christmas Baby (2025)
It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)

Fine and gay:

Ghosting: The Spirit of Christmas (2019)
Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

Fine because it stars Hilarie Burton:

The Christmas Contract (2018)
Naughty or Nice (2012)
Last Chance for Christmas (2015)
A Christmas Wish (2019)

Fine and not gay:

Spirited (2022)
Jingle Bell Heist (2025)

And that’s that on that. Speaking of categorizing though, I do want to make this declaration that will apply to all categories going forward: I have sorted things into genres. However, I have not used any official resource to decide any one particular piece of media’s genre. Especially because a lot of things fall into many genres! Some horror is sci-fi, some sci-fi is drama, etc etc. But I want to make my lists navigable! So I went on vibes and sorted them with my heart. For example, I have a category for horror, a category for comedy, and a whole separate horror/comedy category because I couldn’t decide which category those should go in. And there are some films that are solidly “action/adventure” by Wikipedia’s standards but there weren’t enough to put in their own category and also they ARE technically sci-fi/fantasy, so I put them there. I make the rules so we’re all going to be chill and fine about it!!

As always, these mini-reviews will tell you how gay something is, and they will be spoiler-light (aka as close to spoiler-free as I can get while still talking about it). And, as with video games, I wrote a small summary before going into my review. Okay that’s definitely enough yapping, so let’s get into it.

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The Black Phone (2022)
Vibe: Supernatural horror
Is it gay? Nope

A kidnapper called The Grabber is, well, grabbing kids all over North Denver, but his latest victim, Finney (Mason Thames) has a bit of a gift and the ghosts of the Grabber’s past victims call him on the titular mysterious black phone to try to help him out of the basement of doom.

I rewatched this movie before watching the sequel and I liked it just as much as I did the first time. It’s just a great film. It’s tense and scary and yet hopeful. The kids are all great. Including but not limited to Madeleine McGraw as Finney’s sister Gwen. Those McGraw girls sure can act. (I’ll have more to say about Violet later in this list.) Maya Hawke’s dad also did a great job. It’s also just a great concept; maybe it’s the millennial in me, but especially nowadays when you don’t really hear phones ringing much at all, the idea of a dead wall phone ringing is very spooky.

Black Phone 2 (2025)
Vibe: Supernatural horror
Is it gay? No

Finney and his sister Gwen go to work at a winter youth camp and end up uncovering more mysteries about their late mother and The Grabber’s earliest victims.

This was a really fun escalation from the first movie. I wasn’t sure how exactly it was going to work, but they found a way. I really liked the shift in the story from Finney to Gwen, and I think changing the setting to being snowed in at an abandoned summer camp upped the creep factor. And once again, those kids acted their butts off. I think the McGraw sisters are going to be two of the biggest stars of their generation, if they keep taking solid roles like they have been.

28 Days Later (2002)
Vibe: Pandemic!
Is it gay? No

An apocalyptic epidemic begins because idiots with good intentions and bad ideas released monkeys infected with a rage virus, and this is the new world Jim (Cillian Murphy) wakes up from his coma to find, and now has to survive in. You’ll never guess how much time has passed between the inciting incident and the start of this movie.

All I knew going into this movie was that it was the one with “fast zombies” and wow is that true. They are not only FAST but the infection spreads fast. And also before anyone yells at me: they’re technically not zombies. They’re alive, they’re just infected with a rage virus. You can kill them how you can kill any human, but the rage takes over the pain receptors so they might not stop just because they’re injured the way a human might. There’s a good metaphor in there about rage being infectious and destructive and all that. But the moral of this particular story is: the real evil is man.

28 Weeks Later (2007)
Vibe: Why are humans like this
Is it gay? No

Just when the infection of the first movie seems to be getting under control, Don (Robert Carlyle) is moving with his children back to a part of London marked safe. The children almost immediately break the rules. Chaos ensues. Rose Byrne is there. It’s a wild ride.

I liked this one a little better than the first one (less of a creepy-men-factor, generally speaking), but everyone is making frustrating choices at every turn. However, I do think this hit different having watched it after living through a pandemic, albeit one slightly less destructive, because resurgence is a thing and all it takes is one person being careless to ruin a whole lot of lives. I do love Rose Byrne but this was a very confusing place to find her.

Killer Book Club (2023)
Vibe: Classic slasher
Is it gay? No

More accurately called “El club de los lectores criminales,” this slasher film follows students from a school’s horror film club find themselves in a horror movie of their own when a killer in a clown mask starts taking them out one by one.

I was really struggling with my ADHD one day so I decided to do what I used to do during lockdown when I couldn’t get my brain to shut up and/or couldn’t stop doomscrolling: I watched something in Spanish! This requires my full attention and it really helps me stay present in the movie. This one was a classic slasher; some humor, some teen drama, some gory deaths, some tense moments and jump scares. It didn’t exactly shake up the genre, but it was a fun, classic horror watch.

Backcountry (2015)
Vibe: Man vs bear
Is it gay? No, except my persistent crush on Missy Peregrym

Otherwise smart woman Jenn (Missy Peregrym) decides to follow her idiot boyfriend Alex (Jeff Roop) into the forest and must face the dangers there, from strange men to literal bears and everything in between.

Listen, I am but a simple gay. I saw a TikTok of someone recommending horror movies, heard Missy Peregrym’s name, and asked no further questions. A fatal trap I have fallen into more than once, and will continue to fall into without remorse. This movie wasn’t great. But if anyone ever asked me why women choose the bear in the metaphorical man vs bear debate, I would just show them this movie, because Missy unfortunately is faced with the dangers both provide and I’m just saying, the bear wasn’t the one who refused to ask for directions before going deeper into the unfamiliar woods.

Until Dawn (2025)
Vibe: Spooky and stressful
Is it gay? One of the main characters is bisexual and is dating a boy but has an ex named Julia

Clover (Ella Rubin) recruits her friends to try to gather some clues on where her sister ran off to because she misses her dearly. The trail leads them to an abandoned mining town, where a storm forces them to hide out in the empty visitor center where they soon realize there’s something sinister and supernatural afoot. Based on the horror video game of the same name.

I’ve never played the Until Dawn video games, so I can’t give you a comp—and, from what I read, this isn’t meant to follow the game beat for beat—but I DID play The Quarry from the same company and it seems the general concept is the same: keep the teens alive overnight. I was not very successful when I played The Quarry, so I think that added to my heightened stress while watching this movie, knowing it could truly end in so many different ways, and I do mean that as a compliment. I really liked this movie. It felt really unique and different from other horror movies I’ve seen while also using some classic horror tactics I enjoy. It successfully stressed me out and I truly didn’t know how things were going to go, which is always refreshing. Plus, it had some great metaphors for grief and trauma, which is exactly what I want from my horror movies.

It’s What’s Inside (2024)
Vibe: Twisty and interesting
Is it gay? No and it was a missed opportunity

A group of old college buddies gets together for the first time in a long time for a wedding, bringing with them a decade’s worth of baggage. And, in one case, literally; that is, a suitcase with a mysterious machine that lets them swap bodies. They decide to use it to play a game akin to Werewolf or Mafia, and, unsurprisingly, things get very complicated very quickly.

I watched this movie on a whim because I saw it on Netflix and was influenced by the cover/summary/Alycia Debnam-Carey. Body swap is one of my favorite sci-fi tropes in TV shows, and I don’t remember seeing it used like this in a movie before, so that was unique and fun. I’m not sure the execution was 100% successful, but it was intriguing and an enjoyable watch, especially because I think it was the writer/director Greg Jardin’s first feature. I do think they could have leaned into gender bendy-ness a little more though. I usually only do my favorite Letterboxd comment for my favorite movies list but this one sums up how I felt about it too well to resist: could’ve benefited from one lesbian.

The Long Walk (2025)
Vibe: Dystopia
Is it gay? Boy gay

In Stephen King’s dystopia, fifty boys set out on an annual televised walking competition where they have to maintain a steady pace and be the last one standing. The winner gets a huge cash prize and one wish. (But like, a wish a wealthy government can provide, not a genie wish.)

This movie made me cry like a baby. I didn’t expect to like it so much since there is one (1) woman in this movie but wow was I wrong. I was interested because of what I imagined would be Hunger Games-esque political commentary, and that was there for sure, but I wasn’t anticipating getting emotionally attached to the boys or David Jonsson breaking my entire fucking heart five times over with his monologues. Truly incredible. Easily one of the best movies I saw this year. Highly recommend.

Absolutely Anything (2015)
Vibe: Silly sci-fi comedy
Is it gay? No

In this modern day Monty Python joint, a mess of a man named Neil (Simon Pegg) is granted the power to do the titular “absolutely anything” by alien forces deciding on whether or not humanity is worth saving. Neil spends a few days bending everything and everyone to his will, to occasionally funny and occasionally disastrous effect.

I kept seeing clips of this movie on TikTok and they were very funny but unfortunately the clips I had already seen on TikTok were the funniest parts of the movie and the rest of the movie fell flat in comparison. It was funny at times to be sure, and very British, which I tend to enjoy, but the whole “absolute power” thing got a little icky at times especially re: women, and overall I was a bit underwhelmed. I also was NOT expected the alien aspect of it and that definitely threw me for a loop and not in a good way.

Honey, Don’t! (2025)
Vibe: Absurdist comedy mystery
Is it gay? Extremely

The second in married team Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen’s lesbian B-movie trilogy (the first being Drive Away Dolls, the third TBD), Honey, Don’t is a dark comedy about a sexy lesbian P.I. named Honey (Margaret Qualley) who works with a local police officer (Aubrey Plaza) to solve the murder of a woman who had called Honey to hire her the day before her death.

I liked a lot of aspects of this movie, like the weird out-of-time vibe, how horny and gay it was, and just everything about Margaret Qualley all the time. But this just confirms what I learned watching Ingrid Goes West: Aubrey Plaza playing a girlkisser isn’t enough for me to auto-love a movie. Which is a surprise to learn! I was spoiled on something pretty big going into this so that might have affected my enjoyment of it, but overall it just wasn’t as good as I was hoping it would be. I also think I have rose-colored hindsight glasses on because of how much I loved the character Honey; I distinctly remember not liking this movie after it was done. I gave it 2.5 stars on Letterboxd, and while I’m less generous with my stars for movies than books, it’s not every day a movie dips below three. Still excited for the third movie in the trilogy though. I find Margaret Qualley so enchanting so I hope she plays yet another wackadoo lesbian in the third one.

Taylor Tomlinson: Prodigal Daughter (2026)
Vibe: Queer woman with religious trauma is hysterical
Is it gay? Yes! Taylor is bi and so are some of her jokes.

Prodigal Daughter is Taylor Tomlinson’s latest stand-up Netflix special, and it is largely about being a queer ex-Christian. It is her classic irreverent, socially chaotic, fun time.

Taylor Tomlinson is an auto-watch for me in terms of stand-up specials. I just find her so hilarious and charming and relatable. This special in particular hit close to home as a fellow queer ex-Christian. She is one of the few comedians whose stand-up specials I will rewatch because they never get old.

M3GAN (2023)
Vibe: AI is evil but with flair
Is it gay? Not traditionally

Gemma (Allison Williams) is a great roboticist and a brilliant scientist, but a shit aunt, which she learns when she is granted custody of her niece Cady (Violet McGraw). Since Gemma mostly works in robotic toys, she says ethics shmethics and decides to test out an AI lifesize doll named M3gan (Amie Donald/Jenna Davis) on her niece. Cady and M3gan get along so well that it gets...well, a bit dangerous.

Big year for sequels and therefore big year for me rewatching movies before watching said sequels. This movie is fun. That’s the best word I can use to describe it. I don’t find it particularly scary, though there are definitely some creepy and unsettling and stressful parts of it, but overall it’s just a good time. Allison Williams and Violet McGraw are both very talented. I also support the “hey maybe we should have some guardrails re: AI” message these movies seem to promote. And yes, despite the first line in the movie’s Wikipedia, I do pronounce this movie “M’three-gan” every time, even in my head.

M3GAN 2.0 (2025)
Vibe: AI is evil but Mission Impossible style this time
Is it gay? I am gay for Allison Williams

Gemma and Cady are back, this time to use their expertise from the whole M3gan situation to help stop AMELIA, a rogue AI who was built using code similar to M3gan’s, but designed as a military weapon.

It’s not every day a sequel to a movie switches genres entirely, but here we are. Technically I could have moved this to a different category because it’s no longer really a horror comedy—it has more in common with a Mission Impossible movie than the first film—but I didn’t want to separate the M3gans. I feel like they wouldn’t like that. Despite being nothing like I was expecting, I did have a good time watching it. But I do have an Allison Williams bias. And like I’ve said, those McGraw girls are something else!

Send Help (2026)
Vibe: Absurd survival adventure
Is it gay? Not even a little, sadly

Awkward Survivor superfan Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams) finds herself in her element when she’s stranded on a deserted island with her new shitty boss Bradley (Dylan O’Brien). The two have to stick together to survive, despite their differences and constant butting of heads.

I didn’t know much about this movie going into it, so I thought it was a legitimate stranded-on-a-deserted-island survival action/drama movie. It is not! It is a horror/comedy! Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien make a great acting team, taking their jobs very seriously in this very unserious movie. I had a few notes about some plot points (and could probably have done without the few moments of very Sam Raimi CGI) but overall had an absolute blast.

Ready or Not (2019)
Vibe: Bloody, hilarious, bloody hilarious
Is it gay? Bafflingly, no

On the night of her wedding, Grace (Samara Weaving) finds out that her brand new in-laws are devil-worshippers who force her into playing a life-or-death game of hide and seek in order to become officially part of the family.

In the TV show Ginny & Georgia’s second season (stay with me here), the high school puts on a Bridgerton-style musical called Wellington, and in there’s a song called “Marriage is a Dungeon.” That is the phrase that got stuck in my head when I sat down to write this review. Ready or Not is SUCH a fun slasher, and it’s TRUE horror-comedy, harkening back to some of my favorite horror comedies like Happy Death Day and The Babysitter (which, hilariously, also stars Samara Weaving.) Another great rewatch to prep for the sequel. I cannot understate how talented Samara Weaving is, balancing the comedic timing and being a true scream queen like a pro. Plus: bonus Melanie Scrofano being hilarious.

Ready or Not: Here I Come (2026)
Vibe: An epic sequel
Is it gay? Still no, somehow

Picking up right where the first movie left off, this movie is the aftermath of the aforementioned game of hide and seek, and includes other high-profile, wealthy, devil-worshipping families joining in the fun and games.

The bar was set really high for this sequel, but it kept the same humor and heart as the first movie while still upping the stakes and broadening the worldbuilding of this fucked up universe. Katheryn Newton was perfectly cast, and of course my hero, my idol, my Sarah Michelle Gellar making an appearance didn’t hurt. It was a really fun movie with some really peak badass women moments. I can see myself rewatching this franchise in future Octobers to set the Halloween mood. And to keep with tradition, this movie also had a Wynonna Earp cast member in it: Varun Saranga!

Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)
Vibe: Dinosaurs!!
Is it gay? Only in vibes and tank tops

A team of researchers who have never seen a single Jurassic Park movie head to an island near the equator where all the dinosaur experiment rejects live to extract a sample that might cure heart disease or something important enough to send puny humans to their doom on a dinosaur island.

Was this the best Jurassic Park movie that’s ever existed? No. But I can’t be too mad at a movie that gives me Scarlett Johansson in tank tops and Jonathan Bailey in slutty little glasses. People in these movies are usually increasingly stupid, but these people were at least clever, even if going to the danger dino island was a silly idea. Also, before they left, they were told that the experimental hybrid dinos were monstrosities and they are, indeed, very bad to look at. So good job all around.

The Hunger Games (2012)
Vibe: OG Dystopia
Is it gay? No

It’s post-apocalyptic America, a world called Panem, and we follow Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) as she participates in the Hunger Games, a barbaric annual tradition where the rich elite send poorer districts’ youth into a battle royale for the entertainment of the Capitol and to discourage any future rebellion.

I reread the original trilogy of the Hunger Games books so I could read the two newer installments with a refreshed memory, and I forgot how GREAT they are. And, sadly, a stronger metaphor than ever. In fact, sometimes barely a metaphor at all. The movie wasn’t as book-accurate as I remembered it being (I think the origin of the Mockingjay pin being different surprised me most of all), but it still kept the spirit of things, and it was still a great watch. And yes, I’m still emotionally triggered by the Rue whistle, thanks for asking.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
Vibe: Pirates and mermaids
Is it gay? No

Pirates in desperate need of a shower and a dentist, including but not limited to the infamous Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), embark on a quest for the fountain of youth now that they’ve broken their curse and are afflicted with a pesky case of mortality.

Going into this movie with my friends after having watched the first few together, I joked that we were running out of sea myths and all we really needed now were some sirens. Sure enough, that’s exactly what befell our pirate friends in this movie. It’s not the strongest entry into the Pirates franchise, but I do love me some murder mermaids. And Penélope Cruz was a great addition to the franchise.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
Vibe: Pirates, one last time
Is it gay? All pirates are gay

Jack Sparrow sets off on a quest for the Trident of Poseidon while being chased by pirate ghosts in this series finale for an epic franchise.

I won’t lie to you, cutlass to my throat, I probably wouldn’t be able to differentiate one of these movies from the other now that I’ve seen them all. The franchise is one big amalgamation of beautiful shots, surprisingly impressive CGI, a killer score, and a lot of pirate nonsense. And usually at least one badass lady to root for. Since I have no nostalgic attachment to them (watching this past year was my first time seeing any of them), they are all pretty on par with each other to me. And I found this one to be a lovely conclusion to the franchise. Of course, I hope they never make any more, because fuck Johnny Depp forever, but also because I think these movies taught us that sometimes the dead should just stay dead.

The Mummy (1999)
Vibe: White people fucking around and finding out
Is it gay? It was literally everyone’s bisexual awakening, so there’s that

Rick (Brendan Fraser) and Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) team up to awaken ancient Egyptian evils and also make everyone bisexual, probably unrelated.

I had seen this movie before, a long long time ago, so it was fun to revisit. There is definitely more non-consensual kissing than I remember, but overall a great action romp with plenty of comedic moments as well. It feels very 90s in a way I can’t really put my finger on but I do mean it as a compliment. I could do with like 60% less bugs, but, scarabs gonna scarab I guess.

The Mummy Returns (2001)
Vibe: The Mummy but “help it’s again”
Is it gay? It’s bisexual in the way the first one is, but no

Rick and Evy are back, this time they have, confoundingly, brought their small child with them to stick their noses where they don’t belong and piss off TWO ancient evils.

White people have GOT to stop touching things that don’t belong to them. Franchises like this and Jurassic Park are always funny because on one hand it’s like “have we learned NOTHING” but on the other hand I look around at our world right now and I’m like you know what, yeah, no we never learn anything. It’s a fun follow-up to the original for sure. Even though there were too many faces where faces don’t belong, and also Dwayne Johnson’s Scorpion King was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, and that is NOT a compliment.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Vibe: The Mummy but make it China
Is it gay? Maria Bello is IRL!

Rick and Evy (this time played by Maria Bello) and their now grown son switch things up and decide to go to China instead of Egypt to unleash ancient evils and try to save the world from a problem of their own making. Now with 100% more yetis.

This one was kind of wild. It doesn’t quite capture the magic of the first two, though at least this one engages with the local culture a LITTLE more than the last few. It was definitely an adventure, and while I love Maria Bello from the bottom of my Coyote-Ugly-loving heart, it was a little weird for Evy to have a full head transplant for this film. That said, she was still wonderful, and so were the other women in this movie. Including but not limited to Michelle Yeoh. While not a GREAT movie, it was a fun one to watch with friends.

Elio (2025)
Vibe: Cute Disney film
Is it gay? No

Adorable little nerd Elio (Yonas Kibreab) loves aliens and wishes on every star to be abducted by one, and then one day aliens do come and mistake him for the ambassador of earth. Adorable adventures ensue.

This is definitely not the strongest of the Disney/Pixar universe, but it was a cute, harmless little film that I enjoyed watching well enough. Elio was adorable, as was Glordon (Remy Edgerly), and I love an unlikely friendship. I could have used a little more resolution on certain aspects but overall perfectly fine.

In Your Dreams (2026)
Vibe: Adventure in dreamland
Is it gay? No

Stressed out perfectionist big sister Stevie (Jolie Hoang-Rappaport) is in a state of constant anxiety because of her bothersome and chaotic little brother Elliot (Elias Janssen). One night, they find themselves having to work together to navigate the dream world so they can get a wish granted.

This Netflix animation film was very cute and sweet, especially watching as a big sister with a little brother. It lacks some of the depth of my favorite animated movies, but I still had a good time watching it. And I probably would have enjoyed it more when I was younger, because as an adult the comedic relief of Elliot’s sentient stuffed animal Baloney Tony (Craig Robinson) was mostly just annoying to me, but I’m sure little kids eat it up. The cast is great, with Simu Liu and Cristin Milioti voicing the kids’ parents, and I loved the nods to the movie Little Nemo, which I imprinted on/scarred me for life as a wee child.

Zootopia (2016)
Vibe: Family friendly fun
Is it gay? The cheetah cop is gay-man-coded

In a city where animals formerly labeled predators and prey work together in harmony, a bunny with the dream of becoming the first rabbit police officer, Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin), and a fox decidedly on the other side of the law, Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman), uncover a plot that threatens to dismantle the peaceful melting pot as they know it.

This movie is cute, and I enjoyed it enough to want to rewatch it before watching the sequel, but it’s definitely an imperfect metaphor. I understand what they were going for, but it doesn’t 100% land for me. Maybe because they’re doing it by way of the police and, well, ACAB. That said, it’s still very funny and I am a fan of Judy and Nick’s dynamic. Plus, there’s a TON of great familiar voices in it, there are a bunch of really cute references to other Disney movies—including but not limited to a character selling bootlegs of DVDs that are animal puns for Disney movies, plus a literal weasel named Duke Weaselton, a Frozen reference—and that Gazelle (Shakira) song is a bop.

Zootopia 2 (2025)
Vibe: Very cute, if not predictable
Is it gay? It’s possible Judy’s neighbors are

Judy and Nick are back, this time meeting their first snake, who recruits their help to uncover the original plans for Zootopia, which included a climate zone that would allow reptiles to live there, too, and try to discover who changed those plans and see if they can convince the city of the truth.

A very on-theme sequel. They had to try to reinvent their imperfect racism metaphor but it was still an interesting way to start to explain a complex situation. Start little ones thinking critically about racism in infrastructure and capitalism and all that. It’s a very cute movie overall, and even has a new Gazelle hit. This one also has a crazy voice cast—some really big names showed up for some really small part in this. Auli’i Cravalho aka THE Moana has one (1) line in it. But also they clearly cast a bunch of people before they named the characters. Here are some of my faves: Nick DiGiovanni as Slick Di’Giguani, a desert iguana; Ed Sheeran as Ed Shearin, a sheep at a barbershop; Michael J. Fox as Michael J., a red fox; Robert Irwin as Robert Furwin, a koala; and Taylen Biggs as Tailen Smalls, a mouse.

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning (2025)
Vibe: Classic action, but The End
Is it gay? Katy O’Brian is in it!

Tom Cruise and his band of merry men (and also Hayley Atwell) set off on one final mission that may or may not be possible. This franchise will self-destruct in five...four...three...

As I have mentioned in the past, a few friends and I have a weekly MCU watch night that occasionally catches up on Marvel content so we have started tackling other franchises. So that’s how I ended up watching the Missions Impossible. I probably never would have ever watched on my own, but I’m glad we did as a group, because I ended up having a lot of fun watching them. This movie had big series finale vibes, and an amazing cast, and even though I somehow doubt it’s actually the last movie ever, it was a great stopping point. Hayley Atwell in everything forever.

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (2025)
Vibe: Murder mystery but make it Catholic
Is it gay? Not even a little

In the latest of the Knives Out franchise, supercilious and distinctly accented detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is back, this time to investigate the murder most foul of a Catholic priest, linked to a missing inheritance and a local legend.

I won’t lie to you, this is not my favorite installment of the Knives Out franchise. Despite a star-studded cast, it wasn’t quite as captivating as the first two. But maybe that’s my religious trauma talking. It was still a fun watch! I don’t get nearly enough Kerry Washington in my life, so always glad when she shows up.

Beyond the Blackboard (2011)
Vibe: Hopecore
Is it gay? Nah

New teacher Stacey Bess (Emily Van Camp) is excited to get her first teaching placement...then surprised to find herself placed in a homeless shelter school with no resources and even less morale and she must use her plucky spirit to turn things around...if she doesn’t get burned out first. It’s such a classic Hallmark movie it’s literally listed as being in the “Hallmark Hall of Fame” on Wikipedia.

I watched this movie with my mother when I was in Boston for the holidays and it was perfectly lovely. Cheesy and predictable, but sweet It’s the kind of story I would have had to read in class when I was in college for early education, a true story of a teacher who had to fight for her kids against all odds; very After School Special. Emily Van Camp was great, and as someone who unwillingly watched Everwood as a teenager, it did tickle me that her and Treat Williams were both in this movie.

Jay Kelly (2025)
Vibe: Sad man is sad
Is it gay? Only if there was a secret lesbian during my short nap

Famous actor Jay Kelly (George Clooney) is being presented with a lifetime achievement award and it causes him to reflect on his life and, specifically, his regrets. Or: Poor little rich boy is sad because money can’t buy love or give him more time to make better choices.

This was another parent pick and I found this movie deeply boring. Maybe it’s because I’m not an actor, maybe it’s because I’m not rich and famous, maybe it’s because I’m a certified misandrist, but I did not care about the plight of this man. The cast was great but I legit fell asleep for 15 minutes in the middle of this movie and missed nothing. Not for me!

Eternity (2025)
Vibe: Moving and funny
Is it gay? A little!

This film imagines an afterlife where you basically arrive at a giant train station in the sky when you die, and then you get to pick your final destination, with endless fantasies to choose where and how to spend the titular eternity. One woman, Joan (Elizabeth Olsen), finds herself faced with a harder choice: who to spend it with.

I watched this extremely heterosexual movie for Elizabeth Olsen and Elizabeth Olsen only, and frankly I’m glad I did. I’ve watched worse movies for worse reasons. Hell, I’ve watched worse movies for Elizabeth Olsen. It was funny and heartbreaking and, much to my surprise, it made me cry??? And as we’ve established, this is something I try to avoid and don’t do easily. Much much to my surprise, considering this is one of the straightest movies I’ve ever seen, I sure did enjoy it.

Little Women (2019)
Vibe: New take on a classic tale
Is it gay? In a subtexty way

Based on L.M. Alcott’s book of the same name, Little Women follows the March sisters as they grow, learning, loving, losing. It’s a timeless tale of sisterhood, creativity, grief, striving, hope, and love.

“Valerie,” I hear you saying, “But you LOVE Little Women. You wore out your copy of the book as a child. You could perform the Winona Rider version in your sleep. Why, you visited the Alcott house just last year! Plus you have a crush on like half the cast of this movie! You love Greta Gerwig! Why did it take you so long to watch it?!!” And I’ll tell you. I put off watching this movie for two main reasons: 1) I loved the book and the 1994 movie adaptation SO MUCH that I knew my standards would be high 2) I knew that regardless of whether or not I liked the adaptation, it would make me cry. It always does. So I was avoiding it like I avoid all my problems. Well, reason one ended up being unfounded because I loved this interpretation and the March women were all perfectly cast and I loved watching them. The second ended up being valid though. I cried even more than anticipated. But on the night I watched The Long Walk and was already crying, I was like “fuck it, guess it’s time for Little Women.” I’m SO glad I finally did. I’m glad it wasn’t just a shot-for-shot remake and that it was truly a new adaptation. I really loved it.

Aaaaaand scene! Next up, I’ll tell you which of these movies were my faves of the year on Friday. Then next week, Media Mayhem continues with books. See you then!

For the newbies, this is how today’s list will work: These reviews will be longer and more in depth and less spoiler-conscious than the blurbs in the full list that went out on Tuesday. I won’t spoil major endings or any plot twist surprises that have to do with the games’ main storylines, but I will go into more details; especially, in this particular list, about romancing specific NPCs. Each game will have a non-spoilery photo before the blurb so that you can scroll safely if you want to read about some games but not others.

I’ll keep my yapping up top to a minimum because for some reason I decided only having a top three (vs. the five I usually pick for other, longer categories) meant I could write more so these are a bit wordier than usual but I had a lot of gay opinions about romance options and I shall not apologize, because it is pride month and it is my right.

Let’s dive in!

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A brief refresher for anyone who has joined us since December: During Media Mayhem, I take the entire month to talk about all the media I’ve consumed in the past six months and give a spoiler-light, mini-review of it, including but not limited to how gay it is. Each week is a different category, with regular newsletters going out every Tuesday, and then paid newsletters going out every Friday where I choose my FAVORITES from that category and give longer, more detailed, more spoilery reviews. And as a reminder, even though this is my 2026 list, not everything in Media Mayhem (especially everything but TV) will be FROM 2026, that’s just when I played or watched it.

Our first category this month is video games. I know at the end of last year, I combined video games and theater performances, but I’m going to save theater for the end of the year and do video games alone because I actually have ten I can write about. (Which is a great way to ease you into Media Mayhem, because every other category is...much longer.)

Below, you will find ten video games I’ve played so far this year. I technically have also been playing Fortnite consistently and I played Animal Crossing for like three days when the hotel update came out, but I didn’t feel like I really had much to say about either of those games besides “I still love playing with my friends!” and “I sadly think I have lost my passion for my island even though I missed my sons and still visit on my birthday every year” respectively. I also experimented with separating out the descriptions of the games from my review of them, but I did still write the descriptions myself vs plucking them from their official sites, because it’s more fun that way. Also also, they’re categorized by the system on which I played them, though many of them are available on other platforms as well.

Unlike for books and TV shows, which I only include mid-year if I’ve finished them (well, I guess movies also but I don’t remember the last time I stopped a movie partway through and finished it later), I included two games here that I’ve started but haven’t finished yet that I’m not sure if I’ll finish, but I did not include the game I’m currently streaming (Neva) because I know I will. (And, in fact, practically have; just tidying up some trophies now!)

Without further ado, here are the video games I’ve played so far this year!

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House of Da Vinci (2017)
Vibe: Puzzle game with a Renaissance theme, also good ASMR
Status: Finished
Is it gay? No but it’s also not straight

Picture this: it’s Italy during the Renaissance, and you’re an apprentice of famed inventor and artist Leonardo da Vinci. But something is wrong! Someone is chasing him and you have to follow a sequence of complex puzzles to follow his trace through his secret laboratories by way of his library.

Once upon a time, my brother introduced me to a game called The Room (and its sequels) and it was the most beautiful puzzle box escape room game I had ever played. I was scrolling Steam one day and saw House of Da Vinci on sale and the preview images reminded me so much of The Room I couldn’t resist. Visually it’s sort of similar, with shadowy rooms full of dark mahogany, and puzzles with parts that slide and click and spin with VERY satisfying movements and noises. But The Room had less story to it (and probably was more graphically advanced), and House of Da Vinci has a dash more magic. While you do in fact learn things about Leonardo da Vinci’s actual life (I had no idea he had sketches for invented war machines like a SCYTHE-CARRIAGE that should be in more D&D campaigns), you also get two little do-dads, one that shows you invisible magic symbols that help you solve certain puzzles, and one that lets you peer through time to see the position of some machines’ handles and knobs when Leonardo used it last.

Overall, I did really enjoy this game, even though the POV and fixed standing points in any given room could get frustrating and cause me to overlook things I might have spotted if I had free reign to walk around. I did have to look up a walkthrough now and then (probably faster than I would have if I were playing alone, but I get stressed about wasting too much time just thinking on stream) but it wasn’t so difficult it got in the way of my enjoyment.

The End is Nigh (2017)
Vibe: Platform action-adventure but make it spoopy
Status: Unfinished
Is it gay? It’s...blobby.

It’s the end of the world and you are a blob named Ash. (Stay with me.) Your favorite video game broke so you decided to go out into what’s left of the world and find another survivor, if one exists, with the hope of maybe repopulating the world(?). Unclear on if Ash was always a blob or it’s a symptom of the apocalypse but you move through levels sideways like Super Mario Brothers and collect tumors if you dare. (I often don’t dare. Some of these levels are HARD.)

I hadn’t played a classic platformer since the time I tried the game Celeste (and it eventually bested me) because I do hit a wall with frustration with games like this HOWEVER this one caught my eye in the metaphorical clearance bin on Steam because I liked the spoopy vibes (and I do mean spoopy vs spooky, a small but important distinction) and, frankly, the name of the game. I have a feeling it’s not the kind of game I’ll finish in any reasonable amount of time, which is why it’s here in the midyear version of Media Mayhem; I’ll probably play for a few hours until it pisses me off every few weeks. I will say, it’s very satisfying when you do get through a level, especially one that took a few tries, but can get frustrating pretty quickly. Which I’m aware is a skill/patience issue. I am not too far into the game, but it’s split into chapters, and the difficulty more or less resets at the start of each one. Otherwise I’d be shit out of luck because I got stuck for the first time at Chapter 1, Level 17. Luckily, you can die over and over again and just start the level you’re on over lickety-split. It’s not like The Lion King game that traumatized a lot of us millennials as a child by sending you back to the very beginning after losing three lives no matter how far you got. I was on the last level of the second chapter last time I played. (Well, last main level; each chapter also has some hidden levels, but I’ve only found two of them so far. One by accident before I even knew there were secret levels.) I decided not to worry too much about the tumors, so I have not collected all of them, but hopefully I’ve collected enough to do whatever they’re for in the end. Which is, apparently, nigh.

Paradise Killer (2020)
Vibe: Low-res, neon magic nonsense
Status: Unfinished
Is it gay? I think it could be

The good news is, the character you play, a detective named Lady Love Dies, has finally been let out of exile. The bad news is, you’re brought out of exile because there’s been a murder and you have to solve it. You explore a world that is a strange mix of 3D and 2D, collecting pixelated artifacts and blood stones and chatting with the locals to try to solve the case. Also it’s in a nauseatingly flowy POV, so proceed with caution.

Yet another game I’m not finished with, but unlike The End is Nigh, it’s not because I think I’ll play it in fits and spurts. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever go back to it at all. Not because of the content; the story was interesting enough, although very strange. And I was on my way to romancing a woman with a goat head, which did not stop me from flirting. (It’s a good thing I wasn’t streaming, my friend Carla would have flipped her shit...but more on that later.) The real issue here is: the last time I played, I literally got motion sick. The movement mechanics are too smooth but also too fast or something, I’m not sure. And it’s in first person POV, which doesn’t help. It didn’t happen the first time I played, only the second—which might have to do with switching from keyboard controls to my USB X-Box controller—so I’m sure it’s something I could have worked through if I wanted it badly enough but I’m not sure I do. Because there are other things I didn’t love, like the fact that it’s open world with a mostly useless map system and the tasks weren’t clear to me at all. There are somehow both too many tasks (e.g. talk to literally everyone for clues about the murder) but with no obvious delineation between what is important and what isn’t, and what you should do next to progress the story further. It’s somehow both a visual novel and an open world, but also not enough of either to feel successful to me personally. But based on some other reviews I’ve read, I do seem to be in the minority of not entirely loving this game, so do with this information what you will.

Assemble with Care (2019)
Vibe: Simple, cozy, puzzle game with an ASMR factor
Status: Finished
Is it gay? There was a hot mean lady, but no, not particularly

In this puzzle game, you play as Maria, an antiques restorer, who is working her way around Europe and has found herself in a small town in Spain. You uncover the story of the townspeople by way of the things they ask you to fix, from cassette players to cameras and more.

I have been chasing the high of A Little to the Left ever since I finished it, and I was really hoping this one would fulfil it because I saw clips of people playing it on TikTok and it looked very cozy and satisfying. And while it is indeed cozy and satisfying, it’s not the same level of satisfying by a long shot because the levels aren’t so much puzzles in the “solve this problem” way, but more of a “put this puzzle together” way. Which is still nice, but not the same, so I wish I had gone in with different expectations. It was a little less challenging, but it still had very good graphics and sounds, and the story was really sweet, so it was still fun. It’s also very short! I finished it in about two hours, and that’s with some yapping because I was streaming. I got it on sale but I think it costs like $8 normally which is worth it for such a short but visually appealing game.

Kentucky Route Zero (2017)
Vibe: Dreamy and eerie and atmospheric
Status: Finished!!
Is it gay? Probably but like in the way sometimes your dreams might have been gay but that wasn’t the point

Using point-and-click interactions, in this game you follow the story of Conway, a truck driver who finds himself in a mysterious place where logic does not apply and everything is a bit surreal. You also meet and follow the people he meets and collects into his traveling party along the way, like Shannon who fixes TVs and whose aunt may or may not be a ghost, Junebug and Johnny, who might be androids, and some skeletons who work at a factory.

I started this game pretty much when I first got my Switch, one billion years ago. It was strange and mysterious and vibey and I liked it well enough, but it was also very odd and very slow. There is no voice acting, so it’s a lot of reading, which is only a downside in this particular instance because I often use my Switch while also watching TV, but this isn’t a multi-tasking game. I was growing increasingly frustrated with nothing making sense and also my choices not seeming to affect the narrative at all. (Except, I guess, the fact that I picked the dog’s name. Her name was Blue and everyone did refer to her as such.) But I also couldn’t bring myself to delete it or quit it, because I did want to know where the story was going. And the art is very cool! So eventually I decided to re-dedicate myself to it, if for no other reason than to be able to delete it off my Switch and make more room for Dreamlight Valley to run better. Once I did that, and let go of any preconceived notions I have about how story works like “making sense” or “following logic” I just sat back and enjoyed the slightly spooky vibes and the eerie soundtrack. I still couldn’t really tell you the entire plot or point of the game, and I’m still not 100% sure it wasn’t just a fever dream entirely, but I’m glad I finished.

Disney Dreamlight Valley (2022)
Vibe: Cozy nostalgia
Status: Ongoing
Is it gay? In my heart it is

In this game, you are a grown-up version of yourself who has come back to the magical world of Disney aka Dreamlight Valley to revisit the friends you used to hang out with all the time as a child but have all but forgotten about in adulthood. And yes, the game is very meta. You have to help your friends undo The Forgetting to gather more classic characters to the Valley and heal your inner child along the way. Each character comes with tasks to help them out, plus there are elements of puzzle solving, task completing, farming and inventory management, collecting, and, most recently, a museum to fill. Plus, you can shop at Scrooge McDuck’s store and serve food at Remy and Tiana’s restaurants. It truly has it all!

I know I write about this game every year but I’m still going strong. One thing I love about this game that I don’t think I’ve specifically mentioned before is its constant updates. I very rarely am 100% out of tasks for too long, because of the semi-regular frequency of updates that add new characters, plus prize events called “Star Paths” and seasonal events like the Floating Spring Festival. Since I wrote about this game midyear last year, they have added Peter Pan, Aurora and Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Joy and Sadness from Inside Out, Cogsworth and Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Lady and the Tramp, and Pocahontas! That’s a lot of newness for one year, and that doesn’t even include the in-game events. AND it’s only the FREE updates—there’s also an entire expansion I haven’t bought yet. Running out of Things To Do is the only reason I stopped playing Animal Crossing despite how much I loved it, so I’m grateful that DLV is the gift that keeps on giving. Even though sometimes it does make me a little emotional with its “healing your inner child” storylines.

Cyberpunk 2077 (2020)
Vibe: Gritty, open-world drive-and-shoot story game
Status: Finished!
Is it gay? It can be if you work at it

In a future where almost everyone has cyberware implants and artificial intelligence runs everything from cab companies to vending machines, corporations reign supreme over Night City, a gritty, crime-ridden metropolis that is a hotbed of corruption, violence, and general chaos. You play V, a mercenary, who needs to solve the mystery of Johnny Silverhand (who is just Keanu Reeves) while navigating the world, helping friends and solving problems (e.g. kicking ass and taking names) as only V can.

I really loved this game. It was my ideal combination of action and story. It reminded me a lot, in structure alone, of the Horizon games (Zero Dawn and Forbidden West), how it was open world, but there were still definitely guardrails to default back to if you started to feel overwhelmed. (In a way I don’t think the Assassin’s Creed games—or, at least, Odyssey—are as successful at.) There are plenty of side-quests to do, and a lot of choices to shape V into your own character. I don’t love driving mechanics in games, and this game technically is driving focused as far as getting around, but between autopilot and fast travel, it super didn’t hinder my enjoyment. There are a few minor downsides; for example, the main NPCs you can interact with that are technically romanceable have fixed sexualities, so now matter how gay-looking or hot a woman was, if she is coded “straight”, you can’t woo her with a female V. Luckily, there are options for everyone, and I did find a woman to romance, but getting rejected by a video game woman my character was vibing with was UNEXPECTED and a little upsetting. Also, and this truly is minor, but I spent SO long in character creation making the perfect purple-haired badass...only for the game to be in first person and hardly ever seeing my V at all. (Which is also how I ended up accidentally naked an alarming amount of times...) But again, those are minor things.

I played for over 50 hours and probably would have spent even more time lollygagging around Night City if I hadn’t been streaming and thought perhaps almost seven months of the same game was more than enough. So clearly, I had a great time being immersed in this world. I can already tell you this will be on my faves list on Friday, where I will be telling you all about exactly which women I tried to and successfully wooed, because one thing I’m going to do is turn an RPG into a dating sim.

The Spirit & The Mouse (2022)
Vibe: Cozy adventure AS A MOUSE
Status: Finished
Is it gay? My mouse got a gay hat!!!!

If you’ve ever wanted to run around a French ville as a mouse, secretly helping citizens with their technology problems with the help of some sentient balls of electricity all with unique and adorable personalities, boi do I have the game for you.

This game is SO freaking cute. I loved being a mouse a lot. You get to hop around and squeak and climb and the graphics are just so beyond pretty and adorable. Your goal is to restore electricity to villagers in need, and you do so by doing a lot of exploring, solving some environmental puzzles, and playing some mini games. Also, you can collect blue lightbulbs to redecorate the town square (and unlock upgrades) AND try on a bunch of different mouse-sized hats. Much to my delight, one of those hats was a little bowler with a pride flag on it!!

It definitely felt aimed at a younger audience, in that the “riddles” were barely riddles at all and the puzzles weren’t hard to figure out, BUT that said, there were still challenges and I never felt bored playing it. I even started to almost know my way around by the end, despite a distinct lack of maps, which can occasionally be my downfall in a game like this.

Goat Simulator 3 (2022)
Vibe: Silly, unserious chaos
Status: Unfinished
Is it gay? Is chaos not inherently gay?

In this game, you are a goat. You can do goat things like headbutt and scream and run and lick and grind on wires and do front flips in the air. You have one goal: cause chaos. Wait also: unlock the secrets of the Illuminati by way of doing bizarre tasks and also maybe a little devil worship. Just regular goat stuff!!

How did we get here, I hear you asking. Well, you see, my friend Carla shows up to my Twitch stream every single week. She is one of only a handful of people to show up with any consistency, and it brings me joy every time I see her name pop up in my chat. Also, Carla hates goats. Despises them, thinks they’re evil, is unsettled by the mere sight of them. So when one of the free PS+ games one month was called Goat Simulator 3, I knew what I needed to do. I downloaded the game and laid in wait until April 1st rolled around. (Well, it was the Monday closest to April Fool’s Day, since that’s the night I stream.) So when sweet, innocent Carla logged on to my stream, as she loyally does every week...it was GOATS. This sounds mean now that I’m typing it out, rewarding one of my closest friends and most loyal viewers with the thing she hates the most, but I promise it was hilarious and we all had a good laugh about it.

ANYWAY after I was done goofing off, I signed off and wasn’t sure I’d ever sign back on again. But while I was just jumping and bleating about to torture Carla, I did notice there were tasks to do and trophies to win...which I kept in the back of my mind. When I originally sat down to write this review, I decided to turn the game back on to at least do the first main task to get a better feel for the game (I never would have known about the Illuminati stuff if I hadn’t) and I accidentally ended up playing for over an hour because I was having so much fun doing tasks, blowing things up, and causing general chaos. You can earn fun outfits (including a hat that lets you throw fish at people, a saddle so you can kidnap whoever you want, etc.) and do deeply unserious tasks (like headbutt the grandma who keeps rocket launching yarn balls at you for being in her backyard, or sacrifice scarecrows to the devil) while constantly defying the laws of physics. It is a surprisingly fun, weird little game, and I probably will hop back into it at some point.

Baldur’s Gate 3 (2023)
Vibe: Open world D&D
Status: Finally finished!!
Is it gay? As gay as you make it

Set in a high fantasy realm from the world of Dungeons & Dragons, this role playing game leads you, a character of your own making, through an adventure where you must gather allies in an attempt to save the world from being taken over by an evil invasive species called the Illithid, all while trying to not become one yourself, as you and your party have been infected with an Illithid parasite. There are plenty of fights to be had, people to charm, and your decisions DO have consequences. Some small, some very, very big.

I know I’ve been talking about Baldur’s Gate 3 pretty much since I started Media Mayhem, but I FINALLY FINISHED my first run-through this year! And I immediately start a new “dark urge” run immediately after, plus I’m playing a third game with my friend Nic. I can’t get enough. It’s a truly humongous game with so many different story threads and side quests that you can easily miss entire subplots, either because you didn’t see a secret door or because you accidentally killed someone who would have led you down that path. Or you simply made a dialogue option that closed that story off to you! On the other hand, there are lots of ways this story can go, and your choices really do affect not only how the world views your character, but also the world itself. And, it will affect your gameplay—people you have helped and won the favor of throughout the game will help you in the final boss battle. People you haven’t...sure will not.

I’m not a huge content re-consumer in general, but this game is big enough and differs enough depending on your actions that I know that even the three games I’ve either played or am playing won’t be the end. At least until the next game like it comes out and becomes my entire personality.

And that’s that on video games! Thanks for reading. Hope you’re having a wonderful pride month so far, and I’ll see you Friday for video game faves.

I listen to Amy Poehler’s podcast Good Hang, and she talks a lot about comfort shows and how her show Parks & Rec is that for a lot of people. But she also sometimes interviews guests who find it surprising that their much more stressful shows are comfort shows to some people. Which I can relate to, since I’ve been told it’s borderline diabolical that one of my comfort shows—and, in fact, one of the handful of shows in my life that I’ve rewatched top to bottom more than once—is Criminal Minds. When asked about this, and just the fact that despite being someone who loves all types of shows (especially gay ones) that I do watch so many procedurals aimed at boomer dads, I sometimes say it’s because it’s a comforting formula. Bad guy does bad thing, good guy hunts bad guy, good triumphs over evil, rinse and repeat. And while that is a comforting formula, I often wondered why this pattern would soothe me when, in general, because of my particular flavor of ADHD, I tend to not like when things get too patterned or obvious. It’s why I don’t often re-watch or re-read things; if I know too much about what’s going to happen, it can sometimes take the fun out of it for me. It’s also one of the reasons why I don’t tend to like romcom books or movies; where’s the fun of it if you know the happily ever after is guaranteed? So I wondered what it was about these procedurals I’m drawn to, like Criminal Minds or, more recently, the entire NCIS franchise, if not the comforting pattern.

One reason is definitely the found family of it all. But I like that in any genre, so it’s not just that. Then I heard someone describe The Pitt as “competency porn” and it hit me. I really like watching people be good at their jobs. It’s why a show like Parks & Recs isn’t a comfort watch for me. It’s something I would go to for giggles, for sure. It’s a cheer-up show, a go-to if I need a pick-me-up. But not a comfort watch. Because bless their hearts but that entire office shares about five brain cells between them, and Leslie Knope usually has four of them. So while it’s funny and fun and great, it’s not something I would consider comforting. And on the other end of the spectrum, it’s why I DON’T like shows like The Office. Michael Scott is a nightmare character to me. Why is a bumbling idiot in charge? I know there are companies like that in real life, but good LORD is it frustrating and I don’t like watching it. Same with shows like Emily in Paris. That girl fails up the entire show! It’s infuriating.

Of course, I don’t need people to be good at their jobs to like a show. That would be a boring life to lead. In general I prefer a mess of a main character, stumbling through life with a sense of humor and a good heart. Or a badass who needs to learn how to let people in. Someone lost who needs to find their way. The messier the better. But those are the shows I love and talk about and write about and think about. They’re not what I would consider “comfort” shows. Like, when I rewatch Hill House and Bly Manor, it’s not for comfort. I rewatch those to watch devastatingly beautiful stories unfold. I watch those to connect to the characters and root for them and have my heart break for them. I watch those to feel something. (And for the ghosts.)

I wouldn’t even call something like The Pitt a comfort show for me even though it is, in fact, competency porn. Because so much can still go so wrong. That said, of course it’s a brilliant show and I love watching it. It’s “appointment TV” for me. And I’ll probably rewatch the first two seasons before the third comes out. But not for comfort.

I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer probably falls somewhere unique in this spectrum. Because when I rewatch Buffy it does have an element of comfort to it, but not because I know what’s going to happen, or even necessarily because of the format or plot. It’s because the characters are familiar, they’re people I have “known” since I was nine years old, they’re lines and jokes and relationships I’ve been seeing for practically my whole life. There’s a nostalgia factor to it, on top of just generally loving the story and the characters. For me that show is something like comfort, but not in the same brainless way a procedural feels comfortable to watch. The feeling is more akin that meme, “Not my home, but I know my way around.”

Anyway, I know I’m overthinking and overanalyzing phrases that probably mean something different to everyone, but that’s where I’m currently at with the term “comfort watch” and its definition. And I reserve my right to change my mind about that in the future.

And you’re about to learn a whole lot about what kind of media I consume, because next week starts Mid-Year Media Mayhem, which means for the entire month of June, my newsletter will be all media all the time. First up is video games! See ya there!

Paid subscribers, keep reading for a little more about Media Mayhem.

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I was 13 when I first realized I was...not straight. There were plenty of hints and clues and suspicions before that, but I remember the moment I knew it for sure, on the dinner cruise during my 8th grade trip to Washington DC when I saw my friend dancing with a boy she met from another school and I realized the feeling that hit me like lightning wasn’t normal friend jealousy but something more. But I went to Catholic school and attended church every weekend and was being told many times by many adults that to be gay is to burn in hell for all eternity, so I did my best to fight those feelings for years, including all through high school.

However, in high school, I was also in the drama club, where things are a little more...blurry when it comes to gender and sexuality. So I didn’t think all that much of it when my friends and I draped ourselves over each other or held hands or had cuddle puddles and massage chains and all that other strangely sexual non-sexual things theater kids do. I also didn’t think much of it when my goth friend who liked to pretend she was evil and cold-hearted—some people would literally call her Satan like it was her nickname—was affectionate toward me. Sure, she would literally hiss when people so much as laid a hand on her elbow but would willingly hug me and sometimes sit on my lap or wrap my arms around her when we were standing at the piano during rehearsal, but that was just our totally normal regular friendship!

Anyway, a rumor spread, at least through the drama club, that we were dating. I was surprised when this came back to me, but even though we weren’t necessarily the most physically affectionate people in any given room, I think the fact that she was notoriously unaffectionate EXCEPT with me didn’t help our cause. And we weren’t dating! I hadn’t told anyone at all that I was having not-straight feelings, and I honestly don’t even think I was thinking about them when it came to this particular friend before this rumor started, otherwise I probably would have been too scared to be so affectionate with her so publicly.

Anyway, back when they were calling newsletters blogs, I had a Wordpress, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned here, and on it I sometimes did the “Charlie Challenge” which was a 30 day artistic adventure from a website Diana Agron from Glee made called You, Me, and Charlie. (Which you’ll have to just trust me about I guess because the website is now gone.) For one of the prompts, I chose to write about a moment when I was confronted about aforementioned rumor. The guy who asked me about it was one of the “popular” kids in my grade; handsome, funny, the captain of the hockey team. Everyone was really surprised when he a) tried out for the musical for the first time our senior year, having shown no interest in drama club prior, b) took it seriously and was actually really great at it. He was our own personal Troy Bolton, and he played Jesus in our production of Godspell (which I think will also help explain one of the stranger aspects of the story…). He was perfectly nice but even if I had a photographic memory and could remember every second of high school with total clarity, I think I would still be able to count the number of one-on-one conversations he and I had on one hand, and one of them was him asking me if my friend and I were dating. And then being a little gross about it. And listen, I don’t know his life, maybe he was queer too and was trying to find a kindred spirit. Maybe he was bored and curious and just said what he thought a guy should say. Maybe he was just a gross teen boy in 2005. But the conversation was surprisingly casual and he never brought it up again. The rumors eventually died out, never spreading beyond the drama club as far as I knew. Turns out, two theater kids maybe being gay together didn’t really ping as scandalous or surprising, even to a Catholic high school full of known homophobes.

I once again will leave you with the caveat that I wrote this when I was still new to writing for pleasure and creativity vs school or work, so there are definitely things I would change about it if I rewrote it, but I think it’s fun to preserve little 25-year-old me’s perspective on this, too. The only thing I changed was one tense disagreement, something I will apparently never gain mastery of.

Charlie Challenge, May 2012
Prompt #5: Pen and Paper: Then I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink________ (finish the story.)

Then I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink…if a person could will themselves invisible, I would have disappeared on the spot.

Instead, I laughed nervously.

“What?”

“I said, are you two dating?”

I looked around the stage we were on with darting eyes, making sure no one was listening. It seemed everyone was scattered throughout the auditorium, oblivious to our conversation. My heart was beating fast in my chest…though I had no idea why.

“No,” I answered. I had to look down to meet his eyes, because he was sitting on a tricycle, a prop from the show we were at rehearsal for. Familiar eyes, yet unfamiliar all the same. This was probably the second conversation we had ever had, despite having been in drama together for weeks.

He wheeled a little back and forth. “I don’t care if you are, I was just wondering. It kind of seems like you are.”

“Well, we’re not.”

“Okay,” he said, shrugging in that nonchalant way of his. I laughed again, this time only partly because I was uncomfortable, but also because he made a full circle around me on the trike.

He started to ride away when he paused and looked back at me. “It’s too bad, you know.”

“Too bad?”

“Yeah, I would have liked to get in on that,” he added, winking at me.

I flushed a little darker, rolled my eyes, and gave my best attempt to look offended as he rolled away, but I was really just relieved the conversation was over. An interesting conversation to have with this boy, the lead of the show and a popular athlete to boot. Handsome, charming and outspoken, our paths had never really crossed before. Of all things, this is what brought me onto his radar. Ironic.

Recovering from the encounter, I started to walk off-stage, totally forgetting where I had been heading in the first place, when I felt two cool, soft hands press against my face from behind, covering my eyes.

“Guess who!”

“Considering you’re the only one who does this, it isn’t very hard to guess.”

I gently peeled her hands from my eyes and spun around to look at her knowingly. She stuck her tongue out at me and said, “Come with me downstairs to get a soda.”

As we headed out of the auditorium, hand in hand, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?”

“You’ll never believe the conversation I just had.”

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