I am not my illness 
but I can't deny its existence 
or its insistence 
to be heard

And I won't call it a blessing 
but it might be worse 
to call it a curse
for without it there are things I wouldn't have learned 

No one has the luxury 
or the bad luck to go unscathed 
As much as we're afraid of change
we can't deny that we require it

Our heartaches and suffering 
are both beggars and thieves
robbing us of relief
but never letting us forget that we desire it

And though in this remembering 
there's persistent frustration 
there's also a realization 
of what we can and can't control

A painful but priceless revelation 
that we're given few chances
to decide the shape of our circumstances 
but we can always decide how they will shape our souls

Feeling guilt 
Only makes taking responsibility more difficult 

Living in denial 
Only makes us more vulnerable 

Accepting that life is hard is the key
To making it just a little more easy

And making room for perpetual grief
Is the only path to lasting peace

How could I look at a wildflower 
Without hearing your voice in my ears
How can I miss a butterfly 
Who flutters away, only to reappear

You've always had wings
You've always been an angel who sings
And you will always be
Our heavenly Dolly

Unlearn the concept of scarcity 
Refuse fabricated standards of beauty
Stop worshipping the false god of productivity 
Set fear free

My disappointment is of little worth
Life on earth isn't meant to be paradise 
It seems it's supposed to hurt
Though I don't know exactly why

Maybe we need to burn to learn 
How to live in the light 
Maybe it's only after being wrong for so long 
That we can know how to make things right

And so I lower the bar
And lower the bar again 
Wait for near to become far
Watch the beginning become the end

Until I'm void of expectation 
And I've been educated enough
To know that joy and frustration 
Both come from the well of love

She said sarcastically
You must be fun at parties
I said don't be silly
I don't go to parties

I dance every night by myself
and for more fun
I rearrange the books on my shelf

He said accusingly
Being alone must be getting to you
I said what's getting to me
is being around lemmings like you

You can go follow your holy star
but my mission
is to stay home with my guitar

They said angrily
that I should be more like them
which thoroughly convinced me
that I was right to deny them

As long as this is how people act
I'm going to be someone
who prefers the company of cats

I don't understand 
Should be the beginning
Not the end of a conversation

I don't understand 
Means that you should want more 
Not less information 

I don't understand 
Might be a sign
That you haven't been listening 

I don't understand 
Could mean your mind
Isn't open to changing

And though when you say
I don't understand 
You believe your words are true

If you intend to keep it that way
I don't understand 
Just means that you don't want to 

The wind moves forward 
But brushes us back
We're children of nature 
Not trains on a track

What is progress
If it leads us away from our source 
What good is pursuing success 
If it leads us off course

What courage is greater
Than that required to try again 
To go back to the beginning 
Instead of rushing towards the end

Life was never meant to be so linear
Growth isn't a one way street
There's more mysterious things to consider
Than how to get from A to B

Kindness is a simple antidote 
For the complicated poison that plagues us
A smile is a sweet surprise
When we've grown accustomed to the world enraging us

Laughter is a miracle cure
For the stress that sickens us
Love is the only answer
When confronted with injustice 

Even when it's not enough 
Even when the results are barely visible 
Being good to each other
Is better than making ourselves miserable 

It was there in space and time 
Placed precisely before the masterpiece 
For sitting and observing 

And it's there in my mind 
Whenever I need relief
From a world that won't stop turning 

And from the vantage point of memory 
I immerse myself in twilight hues
Swimming in a peaceful sensation 

Soaking in not just the mastery
Of something so vibrant yet subdued
But its quiet elation 

This sacred place needs no improvement 
No fanfare or frills
It simply holds space for a sublime vision

And following the strokes of movement 
My mind goes still
And my heart joins an eternal rhythm 

The sadness comes first
And then the reasons 
This world gives us so many reasons 
I'm so lucky that I can pick and choose 
And so ungrateful 
Not to pour all of my skillful being
Into finding at least one tiny excuse
To be glad