One beauty of belonging to God’s fold is the diversity of God’s people. The gospel knows no bounds. People of all ages, social statuses, and ethnicities are saved. In Christ, we are free to enjoy fellowship with people richer or poorer than us, older or younger than us, or from any tribe other than our own.

However, the sin of partiality still lurks even among those whom Christ has saved. Every dividing wall, whether ethnicity or social status, has been removed and Christ has united us in one Spirit, but sometimes we put up barriers between ourselves and others whom God has saved.

James and the sin of partiality

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place”, while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonoured the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honourable name by which you were called?

The letter of James was written early on, when Jews were the predominant Christians, and worshipped in synagogues. The word ‘assembly’ here translates from ‘synagogue’, insinuating that the audience was primarily Jews. Early Jewish Christians did not only meet in synagogues for worship but also sometimes to examine matters and deliver justice.

Therefore, when James forbids partiality, it is also tied to injustice. Even in the Old Testament, the law forbade injustice arising from partiality. A man was not to have an upper hand over his neighbour in court because of his socio-economic status. In Leviticus 19:15, Moses wrote, warning the Israelites, “You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbour.”

James forbids those who have been saved to show partiality based on worldly advantages. The salvation that we have received from our Lord Jesus Christ is glorious. Showing partiality would diminish its gloriousness. Not that our sin takes away from the Lord’s glory, but instead, it hides His glory from being seen. Contrarily, the world knows we are disciples of Christ by how we love each other (John 13:35).

James’ argument is based on the truth that the gift of salvation transcends socio-economic boundaries. In the ancient world, distinctions were made between the rich and poor, masters and slaves, Jews and Gentiles. God’s gift of salvation reached beyond any status, abolishing these man-made distinctions and uniting all who believe in the same Spirit. For in Christ, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).

Showing partiality meant that the people cared more about outward appearances than the heart. It also meant that they were ‘respecters of persons’ rather than seeking to honour the Lord of glory, through whom all have access to the forgiveness of sins.

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The idolatry of success

We are an idolatrous society, success being one of our beloved idols. We worship winners. We are captivated by the glamour of wealth and fame. We are drawn towards people who embody wealth, prosperity and fame, and we make them our heroes.

Most of us don’t want to be just ordinary people in life. We want to stand out and win at something, or become famous for our wealth and prosperity. Whenever we encounter people doing much better than us, we see them as our ‘destiny connectors’ and look for ways to use their wealth or fame to move us a step forward.

Many people in the Kenyan culture seem to be in a race to become wealthy or famous. We undercut others and give bribes to achieve success more quickly. Parents favour their children who are well-fixed over those who seem to struggle. Young people gamble because of the promise to get rich quickly. We elevate our politicians to unhealthy levels because we are enamoured with their wealth, fame, and prosperity, much of which is built through unethical ways.

Please note, I am not against success in any form, in and of itself. I am against the attitude that one must become successful, by worldly standards, by hook or by crook. I am against the disregard for God, the giver of everything, that often comes with an unhealthy pursuit of wealth.

Partiality informed by the wrong view of success.

The common human temptation is to elevate those who are doing well and look down on those who are not successful by worldly standards, especially because they have nothing to offer us. This temptation is subtle and can often go unnoticed. Like during James’ time, we pay more attention to the man wearing fine clothing and tell the poor man to sit at our feet, figuratively speaking.

Sadly, this attitude spreads even to our interactions in churches. Sometimes, we associate only with those who look like us and share our socio-economic status. Essentially, we are like James’ audience, needing his rebuke.

Our unfair treatment or judgement of people presumes that individuals, and not God, are fully in charge of their material blessings. Greed in our hearts makes us pursue favour with the successful to gain from them. We avoid interacting with those who might need our help because we hate to be inconvenienced. Partiality and the idolatry of success go hand in hand, sprouting from the selfishness in our hearts.

The Bible’s definition of blessedness differs from our worldly perceptions. We think that a blessed person has great material benefit. However, Christ, in His speech inaugurating His Kingdom, redefines blessedness. The blessed are the poor in spirit, the mourning, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, the persecuted and reviled, and those who are falsely accused on His account (Matthew 5:2-12).

Therefore, when we judge outwardly and favour those with material advantages, we miss the true meaning of being blessed. Instead, we should acknowledge the value of material blessings in this life, but remember that we cannot carry them to the next life. Hence, we should value godly character more than fine clothing.

God is more concerned with the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). Partiality treats God’s image-bearers and, worse, those whom Christ has purchased with His own blood, with contempt. It is the same as saying that your neighbour, whom Christ loved so much to die for, is not worthy of our attention, respect, or fellowship, because they lack certain material advantage. Indeed, ‘Has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? (James 2:5).’

Antidotes

I have spent most of my time discussing the nature of the sin of partiality, informed by the idol of success. I will now propose antidotes to overcoming partiality.

Practising hospitality is a means through which we can move from associating with people based on social status to loving them as brothers and sisters in the faith. In your community, especially in church, make an effort to associate with the lowly. The member who perhaps will never benefit you materially. Or the one who doesn’t fit in your clique of friends.

In our extended families, pay attention to the person who may not match up financially, and avoid burdening them with financial responsibilities. Do not assume they are unhelpful when they can’t give to whatever cause. When you go to public spaces, treat the guards, vendors, or those doing blue-collar jobs with kindness, and find a way to be a blessing to them. You too can serve them!

After all, every person, a believer or not, bears God’s image and deserves dignified treatment just because they are human, other qualities notwithstanding.

In James 2:8, James gives us the antidote of practising the royal law: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. I mentioned earlier that selfishness is at the root of our partiality and idolatry of success. The royal law demands that we consider others better than ourselves, regardless of status (Philippians 2). Our attitude should be like Christ’s. He demonstrated ultimate love and selflessness by accepting death on a cross for sins He never committed, so that all who would believe in Him would inherit His righteousness and be saved from judgment.

We sin and fall short all the time, for it is in our nature to judge by appearances and create distinctions. However, Christ has obeyed the royal law perfectly on our behalf, so that when we turn to Him in repentance when we fail, we can rely on His perfect obedience and count it as ours, enabling us to stand guiltless before a holy God. Therefore, repent, trust, and ask for God’s help to empower you to treat people impartially.

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Whenever we move to a new location, our first order of business, after settling into the house, is usually to find a farmer from whom we can buy milk within the neighbourhood. As a family, we have found that nothing beats fresh milk. Usually, we are willing to go to great lengths to find fresh cow’s milk.

If you know us, you agree that we love a good cup of tea. Good tea begins with good milk. We also love to store cream from boiled milk, and when we have accumulated enough, we make our own butter.

In this post, I will draw reflections on milk from the Bible and a favourite children’s novel, then give my butter recipe.

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The land flowing with milk and honey

In the Old Testament, when God called Moses to deliver the Israelites from Egypt to Canaan, He described Canaan as a land flowing with milk and honey (Exodus 3:8). Canaan, the promised land, was a place of abundance and God’s provision, where God’s people would experience rest. In contrast, Egypt had been a place of suffering and oppression, and though there were vegetables and other produce, they weren’t satisfying because God’s people were not at rest.

In Deuteronomy 31:20, foretelling Israel’s rebellion, God says, “For when I have brought them into the land flowing with milk and honey, which I swore to give to their fathers, and they have eaten and are full and grown fat, they will turn to other gods and serve them, and despise me and break my covenant.” Canaan was to be a land of rest and abundance. Unfortunately, the Israelites would get too comfortable and forget how God triumphantly delivered them from Egypt, the land of suffering and oppression.

After the rainy season, there is enough fodder for the animals, and hence they produce abundant milk. Truly, milk is a sign of God’s provision for His people. Psalm 104:14-15 says, “You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man’s heart.”

Joel foretells the glorious future of Judah in Joel 3:18, “And in that day the mountains shall drip sweet wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the streambeds of Judah shall flow with water; and a fountain shall come forth from the house of the Lord and water the Valley of Shittim.”

When God provides for us abundantly, may our hearts remain thankful for His bounty. May we not, in pride, forget the source of our blessings. Romans 1:21 is a profound warning to us: “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”

Ultimately, the new Jerusalem will be a place of God’s abundance, flowing with milk and honey. The promised land of Canaan and the glorious future of Judah point us to the new heavens and the new earth, where Christ Himself will rule over His people, providing wine to gladden their hearts and bread, milk and honey for their satisfaction.

Milk: A staple for spiritual nourishment

In the New Testament, milk is used symbolically as a rudiment of doctrine and as the unadulterated Word of God. First Peter 2:2 records, “Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation.”

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 3:2, rebukes the Corinthian church, telling them that they were not growing and were still walking in the flesh. He says, “I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready…” The author of Hebrews warns his audience of apostasy by writing, “For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child (Hebrews 5:12-13).”

For a baby, breast milk is an essential dietary need. However, a child who lives on milk alone past six months of age will not get the nutrients necessary for their physical growth. Similarly, Christians ought to grow past the elementary doctrines of God’s Word and into maturity.

We must approach the Word with natural hunger, like infants cry out for breastmilk so that they may live and grow by it. We must also be ever increasing in our hunger, so that we may be able to process the solid food or meat of God’s Word. May we never assume that we have known God enough.

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Heidi and Milk

In my favourite children’s novel, Heidi by Johanna Spyri, grandfather serves Heidi warm, frothy goat’s milk and bread every day. Whenever Heidi goes out with Peter the goatherd, grandfather instructs Peter to ensure Heidi gets milk, freshly milked from one of the goats at lunchtime. These servings of milk are comforting and nourishing to young Heidi.

Later, when the sickly town girl Clara visits Heidi in the Alps, grandfather cares for her by providing the nourishing goat’s milk every day. By the end of her stay, the combination of fresh mountain air and a daily diet of rich goat’s milk strengthens her body, and she learns to walk.

Butter, a milk by-product

The process of making butter from milk or cream is called churning. Proverbs 30:33 (NIV) states, “For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” Other versions use the word ‘pressing’ instead of ‘churning’.

In Jewish culture, making butter was a way of preserving milk to keep it longer. In Genesis 18:8, Abraham served the angels visiting him curdled milk or butter (depending on the Bible version), milk, and meat from a calf. In 2 Samuel 17, David and his people are exhausted from running and hiding from Absalom. Part of the necessities brought for their comfort and sustenance is curdled milk, which some versions render as butter.

A website called ChurnCraft, which is all about butter making and sells a butter churn, describes the history of butter churning this way: “Many believe that ancient nomadic people first discovered the miracle of butter. It is thought that while traveling long distances, nomads would attach sacks containing milk to their pack animals and the cream was eventually churned into butter.”

Uses for butter

You can use your butter as a spread, in cooking or in baking. In cooking, I have found that butter enhances the taste of vegetables. We also enjoy pan-toasted bread with butter. A recent favourite is frying our tubers - taro (nduma), sweet potatoes, and cassava - in butter after boiling them.

Butter is especially good for your gut and heart health. I hope you find this homemade butter to be a helpful addition to your kitchen.

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In a recent sermon in my church, one of the pastors shared this quote as a definition of Providence: “God’s providence is His almighty and ever present power, [1] whereby, as with His hand, He still upholds heaven and earth and all creatures, [2] and so governs them that leaf and blade, rain and drought, fruitful and barren years, food and drink, health and sickness, riches and poverty, [3] indeed, all things, come not by chance [4] but by His fatherly hand. [5]” In other words, providence is the belief that God, in His goodness and power, preserves, accompanies, upholds, directs, and governs all creatures, all actions, and all things, from the largest star in the galaxy to the smallest sparrow in a tree. God, the Creator and King, governs all to the praise of the glory of His wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.”

We perceive God’s Providence in many ways. Mostly, it is through His provision of material needs for this life. Many times, we don’t stop to praise God for His Providence during delays or inconvenience in everyday life. Further, we think that the small matters of our lives are in our hands, and God is only in charge of the big things.

In this post, I will narrow down to a specific kind of Providence that I’ve observed in my life. While the tides of life have been different, some high and others low, there is one way through which I have witnessed God governing all things. Indeed, all things come not by chance!

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My progress in the pilgrimage

I have striven to maintain the discipline of reading the Bible. In some seasons, I have maintained a good streak and benefited a lot spiritually from my time in the Word. In other seasons, reading has felt like a chore or a drudgery. I have also had moments where weeks have gone by without me touching the Bible.

Many months ago, I found myself in the Doubting Castle. Like the man in the dark room of despair in John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, I felt, ‘I was now a man of despair, and was shut up in it, as in an iron cage. I could not get out.’ I struggled reading the Bible and, for a few weeks, blamed the reading plan. I changed it thrice, but it did not hold the magic wand to wake me from my lethargy and despair.

All this time, as I was locked in the cage of despair by the giant despair, like Christian in The Pilgrim’s Progress, I had forgotten that I held the key called promise, by which I could open the cage and leave. One evening, tired from the thrashings of the giant despair, God impressed 2 Timothy 2:11-13 on my heart. I prayed to Him who remains faithful even when we are not. The cage opened, and I walked into liberty.

Patterns of Providence

From the season I’ve described above, God has graciously instructed my heart through His Word in undeniable ways. I have found that there has been a lesson at a time, and for each lesson, He has been loud in my devotions, my church’s teachings, and materials such as books and articles. These are ordinary instances, but I have found that God is a Master at using the ordinary and mundane things of life to accomplish His will.

God’s providence through His Word in my life has taken the shape of this: I read about something, or something is taught from my church’s pulpit or small groups, and I begin to notice it on other platforms. I have learnt to joyfully acknowledge God’s instructions to my soul through such threads. I let my mind linger on whatever truth I’m learning, and my heart delights in it.

I have been grossly unfaithful, for sometimes I have gone for days without reading the Bible or praying. However, God’s mercies and kindness have been more than my unfaithfulness. Indeed, He remains faithful even when we are faithless (2 Timothy 2:13).

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Specific Instances of Providence

Providence: One of the books I read last year was about handling conflicts. A chapter in the book espoused Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” The verse stuck with me for a long time, and I discovered a year-long podcast series on the Beatitudes that occupied my mind for the last quarter of last year. At the same time, I picked up a book from our shelf that was on the Beatitudes, which supplemented the podcast episodes.

Lesson: These meditations were particularly helpful in reminding me to strive to become a peacemaker. I was also reminded of the counter-cultural Kingdom of God, where the blessed look nothing like the world’s definition of blessedness. Therefore, when I feel impoverished in spirit, in mourning, in a lowly estate, in hunger and thirst after righteousness, or in persecution, then I’m blessed.

Providence: Last year, the pastors in our church decided that the congregation would be taught through a series on Eschatology in our bible studies beginning this year. This was providential to me in every sense because as my family and I processed through grief, a loss that neither of the pastors could have foreseen, there was no better way than to be reminded of the realities of heaven, hell, death, and the new Jerusalem. This Providence loudly communicated God’s love and care to us.

Lesson: For many weeks, my family received reminders that Christ will triumphantly defeat death. He is not a bystander who is helpless like us when we are assaulted by loss through death. We who die in Christ will be gathered up in heaven for an eternity with Him. The new Jerusalem will be a place of joy and rest, for we shall have retired from all our sorrows, tears, grief, and pain.

Providence: The life groups at my church are studying and discussing the book Church Membership by Jonathan Leeman. The author writes about the church as Christ’s idea, and the implication for believers is to join, submit, and identify with a local body. In April, a sermon about the church as the unshakeable gathering built on the rock was delivered to us. Then, at the ladies’ Bible study meeting that same month, we handled the topic of the Church as our home away from our eternal home, from the material we are going through this year. None of these was planned to align in the same month, except by the hand of Providence.

Lesson: This season reminded me that Jesus Christ owns the church. It is His idea, and He dictates how we should do church. The gates of hell, let alone any scheme of man, cannot prevail against God’s universal church represented in many local bodies around the world. I was also encouraged in my commitment to joyfully serve my local body as I also avail myself to be served.

Providence: When I’m writing about something, as part of my research, I search for related works by other Christians, church fathers, etc. Recently, as I was preparing an article on the sin of envy, I came across a series of helpful articles from a Kenyan brother about the same subject. A few days later, I was pleasantly surprised to find that we’d be discussing the sin of envy in that month’s ladies’ bible study meeting at my church. This happened within the same week. How could I not look within to see if there was envy in my heart when my attention was this much captured?

Lesson: A highlight of that week was seeing how dangerous the sin of envy is. Taken to its logical end, it can lead to actual murder or deep hate, which the apostle John equates with murder (1 John 3:15). An antidote to envy is contentment and gratitude to God for what He has apportioned to you.

Providence: Some time last year, a friend gifted me an ESV journal for reading through the Psalms in a year. Earlier this year, as I was planning a Bible reading plan for the year, this journal came to mind, and I settled on it. In April, I received a book giveaway of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercies by Mark Vroegop. It is my current read. The book is about discovering the grace of Lament, anchored strongly in the Psalms.

Lesson: The Psalms have been a spiritual lifeline for me. They have informed my prayers. I have learnt to lament through the hardships I have encountered so far. Vroegop says that we lament because we know from God’s Word that He is good, and yet our circumstances seem to suggest otherwise. Lament, therefore, is how we learn to live between the poles of a hard life and God’s goodness.

A word for you, my reader

The psalmist regards the law of God highly. Psalm 19:7-11 says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.”

There is great benefit in spending time in God’s Word. You practise this by the discipline of personal study and committing to a local body where the Word is faithfully preached. You do yourself a great disservice by neglecting God’s Word. Do not scoff at the opportunities God avails for you to read or hear His instructions. As you do this, may His Word bear in you fruit a hundredfold!

Conclusion

I agree with the prophet Jeremiah: “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts (Jeremiah 15:16). I would not know how to navigate through life if God went silent.

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In the education of the old, Classical Education, there were seven core disciplines of knowledge, referred to as the seven liberal arts. These were divided into the arts of language (Trivium): grammar, logic/dialectic, and rhetoric and the arts of quantity/numbers (Quadrivium): arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy. The Christian classical education tradition teaches the liberal arts with a Christian worldview. For this article, I’ll focus on the Trivium.

In summary, the liberal arts of language (Trivium) can be defined this way: Grammar - involves learning the basic rules, structures, and meanings of language. Grammar cultivates the human potential of language towards wise and productive use; Logic/dialectic - studying the rules of correct reasoning and argument. It is the art of following questions and finding arguments, often through dialogue and debates. In the ancient world, logic formed the basis of philosophy and debate; Rhetoric - Practising beautiful, clear, and persuasive speaking and writing. Rhetoric is the culmination of the three arts of language.

It is worth noting that rhetoric is not just persuasive speaking and writing. It is deeply ethical and oriented towards the good. It is grounded in virtue and truth. A person could be deeply convincing, but if they are not convincing towards what is true, good, and beautiful, it is in vain.

Our country faces an interesting dynamic. We have many learned citizens, but are they well-educated? We are learned; we schooled and attained the highest levels of schooling. However, the discernment, conduct, and conviction demanded of people as learned as we are is often not reflected in our lives and decisions. Being educated, as I pointed out here, is not merely an act of learning facts or specialising in certain disciplines. Education has to affect the heart and effect change in our behaviour and convictions.

Indulge me as I reflect on how being poorly educated affects our ability to discern what is good, true, and beautiful, especially in the logic, rhetoric, and conduct of the politicians.

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Political context

Over the years, our country has been plagued by bad leadership and governance. The citizens elect leaders in the hopes of change, only to plunge back into the vices of corruption, debt, police brutality, and general disrespect for the citizens.

Politicians change camps and slogans to package and sell themselves to the citizens for their votes. For more than twenty years, Kenya has had the same names bidding for the highest political seats in the land. The only difference has been the slogans, political parties, and allies. While God has been merciful to us, using our leaders in some ways, for the most part there has been no real heartfelt change.

Therefore, we keep on complaining. We truly are a grumbling nation. However, we rarely admit the fact that we are to blame for our choices. We judge by appearances, tribe, and hate. Yes, hate for one candidate over another has been a major motivating factor for our voting. Tribal rhetoric appeals to the hate in our hearts, causing us to be persuaded into making illogical decisions. Even the politicians know that principled rhetoric does not sell. Hence, they argue and win hearts by hating and lying.

Recently, in a conversation with close relations, I challenged them to avoid thinking in terms of tribe and hate and suggested a potential candidate for their consideration. Their only objection to my suggestion was the candidate’s lack of popularity, largely caused by his absence from the popular political quagmire and hence, lack of spotlight from local media. Generally, we lack the conviction to go against the grain.

As we head for the election year, we need to evaluate our inability to cast votes objectively. Why do we keep falling for bad leaders, only to grumble for the next five years of their tenure? Do we not see through the lies and bad character? I propose to us that our education is partly to blame. Now, there are other reasons, for instance, our lack of fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom. Not that these two are divorced, because a good education will ultimately lead the student to submit to God, the source of all truth and knowledge.

Politicians public speech

I am perpetually puzzled by how much we like to hear our leaders hurling insults at one another. Public speeches are mainly insults hurled at the opposing side, whether overtly or covertly. The recent burial of the Ol Kalou Member of Parliament is a case in point, when the two current opposing sides of the political elite met in the same event. Occasionally, it gets so messy that you feel secondhand shame.

Our leaders are some of the most learned people in this country. A few have been to Ivy League colleges. Several hold not just graduate certificates, but also postgraduate ones. Now, we can debate the legitimacy of some of the certificates, but that’s not why we are here. If education is meant to cultivate the whole person, forming their thinking, speech, and even conduct, why do they continue to behave so badly? Why do they use their words to insult and deceive, as a political strategy to gain mileage against the rival candidate?

A major fault of progressive modern education, through which most of us, including our politicians, have been trained, is that its end goal is preparing human beings for the job market. There is little to no emphasis on what type of people are released to the marketplace, just that they should be ready, skill-wise. Sometimes even the cultivation of skill is compromised since, with money, some can buy educational certificates without the necessary training. The road to this destination is paved with unhealthy competition and really bad educational vices like pride and attaching all your worth to grades and tests. The goal is rarely to serve God and neighbour, but to advance selfish interests such as success and wealth, for their own sake. We are learned, but not educated.

It is no wonder, then, that it is common for politicians to undercut and impede anyone opposed to them. We have seen some go to the extent of sanctioning murder to protect power, as was the case in the infamous June 25 2024 protests. Whereas the heart of the problem is the sinful human heart, we cannot divorce this behaviour from a lack of a good education, if education’s end goal is to produce character, evidenced in loving God and neighbour.

Now, not all politicians behave this way. There are a few who vied for the seats because they were motivated by the desire to serve God and fellow human beings. One such leader is the Busia County senator. Though without formal training in law or policy, he has proved to be a man of the people, advocating for the rule of law. He is self-taught in matters of law but has become articulate like an expert. Whenever he speaks, his logic and rhetoric are for the good of the people of Kenya. Listen to one such interview here.

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Presidential Debates

Every time we near a general election, media stations combine efforts to bring to us a presidential debate. The heart behind this is for politicians to sell their manifestos to citizens, hoping that the candidate whose manifesto resonates most with them will get the position.

In Greek philosophy, thinkers would gather with listeners and logically argue back and forth to establish truth, challenge assumptions, and teach citizens. In ancient Athens, citizens would gather in public spaces to talk about laws and vote. In the ancient world, debates were a casual way of finding out the truth and, in a sense, a luxury for masters, who didn’t have to do slave work. As debates continued to revolutionise, France institutionalised debates in the 1990s, following public protests. They became a means of forcing the government to consult its citizens.

The Constitution of Kenya (2010) mandates public participation and parliamentary hearings. We are especially familiar with the latter. According to the Constitution, legislative committees must host public forums, accept written memoranda, and debate bills face-to-face with citizens before they can pass into law. If we were faithful adherents to the Constitution, rigorously educated in the arts of language, we’d use these forums to listen, argue, and establish a course of action. Unfortunately, parliamentary hearings show that we are learned but lack ethics to argue convincingly and respectfully.

Debates in the modern world have also taken the shape of presidential debates. In 1960, the first presidential debate was held in the US, between candidates John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon. A few years later, public debates in the US became a permanent fixture for elections. In 2013, Kenya streamed the first-ever presidential debate, in what is considered the largest single broadcast audience in our history. Two weeks later, another debate was organised as a follow-up to the first one.

Kenyan presidential debates should provide citizens with an opportunity to hear the candidates argue their points and share their plan of governance once elected. Leaders must justify their ideas to the Kenyans before coming to power.

Since the citizens lack logic, a major flaw in our education system, we are unable to make the right judgements based on the presidential candidates’ rhetoric. In the 2013 debate, the question of the two ICC suspects, bidding for the president and vice-president positions, kept coming up. The accused candidate dismissed these concerns, saying that the ICC issue was a personal challenge which would in no way affect his ability to lead. He also emphasised his innocence. For a candidate to appear on a suspect’s list, his character is already in question. Logic would argue that this is a wrong choice, regardless of how strong his rhetoric sounds.

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle proposed three modes of persuasion: ethos, pathos, and logos. Ethos convinces the hearers by establishing the legitimacy of a speaker’s/writer’s moral character. Does a politician have the moral authority to address the citizens? We know cases of politicians who are corrupt or murderers, and we continue to give them an audience. Pathos targets the audience’s feelings. Does a politician’s speech give hope and encourage patriotism? Logos appeals to logic and reason. When a politician addresses us, do they use verifiable facts and data to construct their argument? A while back, one Kenyan went on a spree of exposing ghost projects that politicians launched, but never existed or took off. These three modes should help us evaluate a candidate’s persuasiveness.

Meaning for the Christian

Christians are always better advantaged. Our God is the source of everything true, good, and beautiful. Further, He has not left us to wander and wonder. We have the Bible, through which we can learn everything we need for this life and godliness. Against the standards of the Bible, we may also measure every claim by a politician.

The schooled and the unschooled alike can learn what is true, good, and beautiful. This knowledge helps them live life well by loving and submitting to God and by loving and serving their neighbour. Knowledge of truth will also help them discern lies and deception not only from theological camps, but also from politicians. The truths of the word of God will train us in the art of language: we learn the basic use and meaning of words, we are trained in following an argument, and we see persuasive writing in action. This trains our minds to think in similar patterns. The Holy Spirit then applies these truths to our hearts and changes us from the inside out. The Bible educates us! Therefore, it is possible for any believer, whether schooled or unschooled, to make the right decisions in life, particularly in voting.

As we approach a busy season of campaign trails, mingled with many types of rhetoric, we ought to listen keenly. One fault of ours has been that we bury our heads in the sand and abscond our duty to meaningfully engage with the governance of the geographical places God has put us in. Let us listen keenly to the bidders for political positions, logically examine their rhetoric and conclude whether they are worth our votes.

We may not have gotten a robust schooling, but we have had the opportunity to study and obey God’s word. Therefore, we are equipped to make better judgments and decisions. We do all this as our civic duty to our country, but never losing sight of the fact that we are citizens of a better country. When Christ our president returns, we shall rule with Him forever in a place of perfect justice and righteousness.

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Philosophy refers to the current age, beginning from the late 20th century, as the Postmodernism age. It is an offshoot of the Modernist age that believed science to be the absolute truth. Some distinct marks of this age include broad scepticism, subjectivism or relativism, a general suspicion of reason, and the denial of objective truth.

David Porteous, in his research paper, A Christian View of Postmodernism and Its Roots, rightfully states, “Truth, says postmodernism, instead of being something that is discovered, is something that is constructed.” For once in history, people take pride in ignorance. This scepticism is fashionable to the extent that people perceive those who claim to know the objective reality about things as bigots. The irony is that refuting objective truth and claiming its inexistence is an attempt at asserting an objective truth. It is self-contradictory.

Christianity, on the other hand, claims absolute truth. God is the author of all truth and reality. God Himself is truth. It then follows that we cannot know the truth apart from Him. He has graciously provided us with His Word that is the source of all truth and against which we can hold all other claims of truth and determine their truthfulness. As believers, the accuracy of God’s Word dictates our logic and reason and all of our practices.

Postmodernism has infiltrated many facets of our lives as a society. Several Christians have bowed to the pressure by conforming to scepticism and uncertainty, even on matters that are crystal clear in the Scriptures. Believers are now afraid to respond to circumstances with absolutes and offend those of different opinions. We have also sacrificed holiness on the altar of political correctness. Since a standard of truth held in high regard is non-existent, people are free from accountability for their actions.

My objective in writing this article is to remind us that we have a yardstick of truth. Therefore, claiming to be ignorant of the truth is prideful and hurts the body of Christ more than it tries to unite us.

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All Scripture is God-breathed (2 Tim 3:16), and possible to understand

One foundational truth we need to establish is that the Scriptures are God-breathed. This truth is the premise upon which knowledge is possible. As far as trustworthiness goes, the Word of God is the most trustworthy source of truth because God Himself is the author. As I mentioned earlier, God is truth. Because He is truth, His Word is infallible, i.e., incapable of making mistakes or being wrong.

Another characteristic of God’s Word is perspicuity, i.e., plain to the understanding, because of clarity and precision of presentation. The 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith states, “All things in Scripture are not alike plain in themselves, nor alike clear unto all; yet those things which are necessary to be known, believed and observed for salvation, are so clearly propounded and opened in some place of Scripture or other, that not only the learned but the unlearned, in a due use of ordinary means, may attain to a sufficient understanding of them.”

David Porteous further says, “Since men are image-bearers of God, being created with rational minds endowed with knowledge, righteousness and holiness, bearing the creature-creator distinction, but with the likeness to God, they can know the same truth that God knows, not exhaustively but qualitatively.” Claiming ignorance about matters spelt out in scripture is not a show of humility but pride. God has made known to us the mystery of His will according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ (Ephesians 1:9).

The Holy Scriptures are our yardstick for all truth and reality. They should inform our thinking, actions, experiences, and emotions.

Experiences and emotions

A big part of our culture today is experiences and feelings. Everyone wants recognition of what they have experienced and feel about reality or an experience. However, the problem is that sometimes we hold experiences and feelings above truth, the truth of God’s Word. One person will say a truth they believe, and another will nullify it because it is not a part of their experience.

Emotions are a gift from God, and they are particularly helpful in diagnosing and identifying the state of our hearts. But emotions are not always right and ought to be subjected to the truth for identification, examination, and interpretation. When we hold them above the truth of God’s Word, we are guilty of walking by sight and not by faith. Emotions can be fleeting, proving their unreliability. Although our convictions are not devoid of strong feelings about a subject, they should be based first and foremost on God’s Word.

God has also endowed us with many experiences as we sojourn on this side of eternity. Not only so, but He has also orchestrated and ordained every experience we encounter. Sometimes our experiences, especially the bad ones, have a way of obscuring truth and reality. We ought to be careful not to fall into this trap. For instance, the tragic death of a loved one does not mean that there is no God. A better way to interpret experiences is by tracing God’s Providences, whether sad or welcome, back to the heart of God. As believers, we are sure that God’s love for us will never fail.

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Postmodernism wants harmony and community with all

Granted, more often than not, postmodernism’s desired goal is harmony and community. Tolerance is one of the most revered virtues of the age. Everyone wants a table long enough to accommodate everyone, regardless of their beliefs and to enjoy community with one another without splitting hairs over matters. That is why relativism is a distinct characteristic of postmodernism. Everyone has their truth, and we respect each other for it. I must admit that one of the temptations I face is letting truth slide to enjoy peace with someone in case we do not agree over a matter. Unfortunately, this peace is plastic and often does not last.

For believers, our source of unity is in our continual growth in the knowledge of God. So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4:11-13). We become united as a body when the people God has gifted equip us and build us up with the truth. When we aspire for unity apart from the truth of God’s word, we are in error.

It is worth mentioning, while we are still on this side of eternity, our unity around truth will be imperfect. Even when we have a yardstick of truth, we often see things differently. That is why, historically, theologians have categorised some doctrinal matters as fundamentals and others as non-fundamentals. As long as we are not deviating from orthodox Christian beliefs (fundamentals), e.g., the infallibility of Scripture, the deity of Christ, and the Trinity, we can enjoy fellowship with one another. We wait for the day when we shall acquire a perfect understanding of all things and be perfectly united with one another around God’s truth.

Conclusion

As God’s chosen people, we have one thing that the world lacks: the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, we can be confident and unapologetic in our convictions against sin and worldliness because God Himself breathed out the Scriptures. Let us not conform to the liberal Christianity that is vague about truth. Let us boldly proclaim the excellencies of God to an unbelieving world that God may save them from their sin and unbelief.

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Just after the fall of man, the first case of sin against a fellow image-bearer is recorded. Cain murders Abel. The first murder case in human history is interesting because Abel does not offend Cain. The only thing he does is offer a worthy sacrifice which pleases God, whereas God does not look with favour on Cain’s sacrifice. Instead of Cain mending his ways in repentance to the Lord, he murders Abel. He envies the fact that God favours Abel, and this leads to his murdering his brother. Genesis 4 gives us a detailed account of this incident.

Fast forward about thirty centuries, and Saul was king over Israel. He was a flippant king, for he offered a sacrifice to God when it was not in his place to do so. He also spared the best of the Amalekites’ cattle and their king Agag, when God had explicitly commanded him to destroy everything. His excuse was that he spared them for use in a sacrifice to God, to which the prophet Samuel answered that obedience is better than sacrifice. This story is found in 1 Samuel 13 & 15.

What follows is God’s rejection of Saul as king and the anointing of the shepherd boy David to be the next king. Overcome with envy and insecurity, Saul makes it his life’s ambition to pursue and kill David. He goes to great lengths to see this happen. As in the case of Cain, instead of mending his ways with God, he metes his anger out on the person whom God has favoured. Again, envy rears its ugly head.

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Envy

The two examples above are cases of envy that have taken possession of a person’s heart, so much so that they are willing to murder. What is envy, you may wonder! Got Questions defines it this way: Envy is the painful, resentful desire to possess what someone else has—whether it is their status, wealth, or talents. The Bible equates envy with covetousness. Envy is different from jealousy in that jealousy is a protectiveness of what is yours, whereas envy wants what isn’t yours.

In the famous work of Dante, the Divine Comedy, he analyses what have been famously called the seven deadly sins. Dante lived during the High Middle Ages, before the Protestant Reformation. His work is influenced by Roman Catholicism, which was synonymous with Christianity at this historical era. I mention this because, before I reflect on what he says about envy, I’d like to caveat that I do not endorse Roman Catholicism. Dante’s work, the Divine Comedy, particularly draws from the Roman Catholic teachings of purgatory, which I disagree with, for I find no scriptural backing. However, I recognise that there were great thinkers and philosophers who, although catholic, produced works worthy of our time and reflection.

According to Dante, the seven deadly sins can be placed in three tiers: the sins of perverse love - love so twisted that it wills to harm others or seeks evil as a good, excessive love - love that is good in itself but pursued to the wrong degree at the expense of higher good, and deficient love - too little love or zeal for what is good; indifference. As you may have already picked up, the sins of perverse love are the worst! Dante assigns pride, envy, and wrath to perverse love. Further, he assigns greed, gluttony, and lust to excessive love. Finally, he assigns sloth to deficient love.

First Corinthians 13, the famous chapter on love, states that love does not envy (verse 4). This verse is the basis for Dante’s claim that envy is a sin of perverse love. Instead of acting for the good of those you ought to love, you act maliciously towards them.

In his discussion of envy, Dante indicates that it follows pride, which is a root sin, and precedes wrath. It involves directing love towards harm and wishing ill on others’ good fortune, talents, or successes. Instead of rejoicing with them, you tear them down. An envious person obsesses over something a neighbour has and becomes sorrowful over their joy.

Envy is dangerous because, taken to its logical end, it can lead to murder. When you possess a perverse love towards your neighbour who has something that you don’t, you will be angry at them, resent and hate them (which John, in 1 John 3:15, equates to murder), and act towards them in malice so that in the end, you wish them dead. For this reason, envy needs to be nipped in the bud before it blossoms and matures into murder.

Paul addressing envy

In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul lists several sins and calls them the works of the flesh. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Envy is among the works of the flesh, which, when entertained and practised, disqualifies one from eternal life. Sin is deadly because, more than hindering fellowship with fellow human beings, it cuts off the sinner from fellowship with God.

In verses 25 and 26, he says, addressing the believers, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” I find it interesting that Paul tells the Galatians not to be conceited, that is, to have an inflated view of themselves, which will lead them to provoke one another and envy. A bloated view of oneself leads to the thought that you are more deserving than others. With this kind of thinking, when your neighbour has something you don’t but would like, you will envy them.

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James enters the chat.

The apostle James had a few things to say concerning envy. He asked, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:1-4).

An envious person further breaks the law through covetousness. They desire what the neighbour has, violating the tenth commandment.

In His divine wisdom, God apportions gifts and talents to each person according to His will. Those who are called by His name are most assured that He does not withhold any good thing from them (Psalm 84:11). The desire to have what God has given to someone else is, essentially, a questioning of the wisdom of God in the distribution of gifts and talents.

The heart posture of an envious person, even when they make their requests to God, is not receiving gifts and talents for the glory of God, but to compete with men. It is no wonder that James says they have not, because they ask wrongly - to spend it on their own passions. Those who have received the greatest of all gifts, salvation, should put to death this attitude and, instead, clothe themselves with humility.

Just before the verses above, James says in chapter 3:11-18: “Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Here, Apostle James highlights two kinds of wisdom: wisdom that comes from above and earthly wisdom. Earthly wisdom produces bitter jealousy and selfish ambition. As I was preparing this post, I discovered that writer Eugene Collins recently wrote about envy, jealousy, and selfish ambition. He shows the correlation between the three and provides the antidote. You can read the two articles here and here.

I digress.

The phrase ‘bitter jealousy’ here, rendered in its original meaning in Greek, describes a fierce, biting, and destructive obsession with protecting one’s own position while resenting the success of others. It is a prideful, possessive craving to hold onto what you have, or a fierce desire to take what belongs to someone else. Read more about this from this article on Got Questions.

Contrast the evidence of earthly wisdom with that of godly wisdom. Godly wisdom is pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, merciful, producing good fruits, impartial, and sincere. James says that where jealousy and selfish ambition abound, disorder and every vile practise will be found. We should aspire to the peace that results from the practise of godly wisdom.

Conclusion

My post has mainly exposed the sin of envy. Eugene’s articles, linked earlier in this article, discuss the antidote in depth.

If, by reading this article, you find that there is envy in your heart, confess it to God, who has promised to forgive us when we repent (1 John 1:19). Ask Him to grow you into the maturity that rejoices over the prosperity of others, all the while thanking God for the mercies availed to you. Cultivate the virtues of gratitude and contentment.

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In a few days, I will turn a year older. I used to look forward to my birthdays. In my early twenties, I remember going to bed past midnight on the eve of my birthday so that I’d be awake when flipping the page of my life’s calendar. I once threw myself a party at a friend’s house and invited a few friends and family. As I grow older, life has become a bit more complex, and I approach ageing differently. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

With every year that you advance in age, you gain more life experience. This experience comes in many forms. You plunge into the depths of despair and recognise that God, in His Sovereignty, sometimes allows hardships that take away the innocence with which we approached life. You stop looking forward to another year in the same old way, because ageing brings the prospect of difficulties. Conversely, you know that God, in His grace and mercy, allows us certain comforts and joys in life. This brings hope, knowing that even when situations are bleak, like the psalmist, you shall yet again praise the Lord.

Therefore, the lens through which you view life changes. The youthful zeal to pursue fun and pleasure blossoms into contentment in the ordinary and mundane life God has given you. You are more aware of the possibility of difficulties, and therefore, learn to cope by anchoring your hope in the immovable word of God. As I wade through the waters of many hardships, the Psalms have been my solid ground.

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Praying and trusting God through the Psalms

David, a servant of the Lord, of whom God said that he had a heart after His own, goes through a lot. It is almost as if, if we were to contrast the calm/good times with the difficult seasons on a scale, the scale would weigh more on the difficulties. And guess what, the Psalms are not primarily about David. Ultimately, they point to Christ. The agonies that David writes about ultimately point to the deep agonies and forsakenness that Christ endures.

Perhaps the Psalms have informed most of the ‘gospel songs’ in Christendom, spanning different ages and cultures. In my own local language, the total theology expressed through song is that of vengeance against our enemies and ‘haters’. Although I don’t agree with this oversimplification of the Psalms, I have come to sympathise with the expressions of distress rising from persecution, hardship, and forsakenness that push the musicians to sing this way.

Life is difficult. It is also fickle. You could move from happiness to distress in a short time. Ask Job about it. It is a wonderful Providence that through the Psalms, God has given us a language for lament. My husband mentioned a quote he once read: while the rest of the Bible speaks to us, the Psalms speak for us. We don’t have to curse God faithlessly like Lot’s wife or stoically pretend that things are okay. We can identify with the Psalms and ask questions like, “How long”? At the same time, we can remind ourselves to ‘hope in God, for we shall yet again praise the Lord’. The Psalms of David do not stop at making a complaint before God. Every statement of plea is followed by a reminder of God’s character and an encouragement by the author to himself. One famous phrase that David uses is “Hope in God, my soul.”

As I have read through the book of Psalms, I have been amazed by how practically every emotion you may feel, David felt. Do you feel frustrated by the evil around you and the prosperity of the wicked? Psalm 37 reminds us not to fret or be anxious. The end of all evil and the wicked is nigh. I have an entire article reflecting on this. You can read it here.

Difficulties in life render you helpless. When you are at a loss for what move to take next, you may remind yourself of Psalm 10:12-18, “But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.” These same difficulties will sometimes make you feel as though God has forgotten you. Psalm 13 will give you the language to bring your complaints before the Lord: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?”

Growing up comes with many responsibilities. We have to make decisions for our lives every day. Sometimes these decisions can make or break our lives and those of those around us. When you are in the valley of decision-making, you may even go without sleep, crippled by the possibility of making a wrong move. Psalm 16 says, “I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.” This is a promise that you may hold on to.

At the same time, when you can’t sleep because of a troubled heart, feeling like the psalmist that “My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” (Psalm 42:3), you may count on this fact about God, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”(Psalm 56:8).

When you have been treated unjustly, whether by unjust accusations, unfair representation, being misunderstood, or ascribed wrong motives, you can say with David, “Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry! Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit! From your presence let my vindication come! Let your eyes behold the right!” (Psalm 17:1-2).

Some of the challenges that David faced included jealousy from King Saul, which led him to attempt to kill David. His own son, Absalom, threatened to kill him and overthrow him as the king of Israel. Absalom took his closest counsellor, Ahithophel, and this betrayal stung David. At another instance, David grew proud and sinned against God by taking Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife, for his wife and murdering Uriah.

From the caves, where he hid from Saul, he wrote, “When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk, they have hidden a trap for me. Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul” (Psalm 142:3-4). In that bleak situation, when he was unsure of his survival in the cave and feared being found by Saul’s men, he cried out to God with these words. When God delivered him from Saul, he praised Him with these words, “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies (Psalm 18:1-2).

When David fled Absalom, he stated his case before God as recorded in Psalm 3, “O Lord, how many are my foes! Many are rising against me; many are saying of my soul, “There is no salvation for him in God.” Then he reminds himself, “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.”

Ahithophel, David’s closest counsellor, joined Absalom as narrated in 2 Samuel 15. This was a great betrayal of David. He prayed to God to turn Ahithophel’s counsel to Absalom into foolishness. He lamented before God using the words in Psalm 55:12-15, “For it is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng. Let death steal over them; let them go down to Sheol alive; for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart.”

Speaking of betrayal, there is another betrayal that David faced. In 1 Samuel 22, the priests were covering David’s tracks so that Saul would not find him. When Saul confronted them, because they had hidden this information from him, Doeg gave in and told him David’s location. Saul then commanded Doeg to kill the priests. In total, he killed eighty-five priests with their women, children, and cattle that they owned. The people killed on that day were David’s allies, whose only mistake was supporting him. In distress, David wrote Psalm 52, “Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man? The steadfast love of God endures all day. Your tongue plots destruction, like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit. You love evil more than good, and lying more than speaking what is right. You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue (Verses 1-4).” Then, drawing from God’s character, he says, “But God will break you down forever; he will snatch and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living. The righteous shall see and fear, and shall laugh at him, saying, “See the man who would not make God his refuge, but trusted in the abundance of his riches and sought refuge in his own destruction! (verses 5-7).”

The sting of betrayal from both Absalom and Ahithophel and the anguish of being pursued to be killed cause him to say, in verses 4-8, “My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest.” When you are in pain because of a turncoat, you may use these words to bring your woes to God’s throne of mercy.

One of David’s greatest undoings, perhaps the thing that serves as a reminder that he was a mere mortal, is his sin of adultery with Bathsheba, the deceitful cover-up, and the murder of her husband Uriah as recorded in 2 Samuel 11-12. Yet, when the prophet Nathan confronted him, he was remorseful and begged God for repentance. He cries out, in Psalm 51:3-4, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.” More than using these words in our prayers of repentance, we should possess such a posture of heart before the God who sees the depths of our hearts.

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Christ, the ultimate sufferer

Ultimately, the Psalms point us to Christ. God the incarnate plunged into the depths of human sorrow. No man has experienced more sorrow over the far-reaching effects of sin than He. No man has resisted sin to the point of death. None of us has experienced the level of forsakenness that He did, when He cried out at the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46). His words in this verse are a direct quote of Psalm 22, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”

Lee Strobel, in his book The Case for Easter, explaining the certainty that Christ’s death happened, goes into deep detail about the pain inflicted on His body through the floggings. The whip used by Roman soldiers was made with bones at the tip, so that with every lash, some flesh was ripped off. He also explains the psychological effects of the agony He was about to face. As recorded in Luke 22:44, He sweat blood while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. Scientifically, severe anxiety can cause the release of chemicals that break down the capillaries in the sweat glands. As a result, the glands bleed, and one’s sweat may contain blood. All these are followed by the actual crucifixion, which, according to scholars, was with spikes about five to seven inches long driven through the wrists.

I used these details to show the physical and psychological pain that Christ endured. I’ve not even delved into the loneliness, betrayal, and difficulties that He endured in His life before the cross. Putting it into perspective blurs the pain we feel as a result of Sin and death in the world. Christ went through this to give our pain meaning. The pain and difficulties that His children bear usher them into the new heaven and the new earth that will be free from any tears, sorrows, or pain (Revelation 21:4).

Conclusion

Elect saint, as you face different seasons in life, many filled with pain and affliction, as you wait for your final deliverance, learn to call out for help in the language of the Psalms.

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Traditionally, wedding vows included the phrase “…forsaking all others”. The minister officiating a wedding ceremony will ask, “Will you love, comfort, honour and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others be faithful to her so long as you both live?” To this question, the groom and the bride answer, “I do/ I will”.

The origin of this phrase is based on Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” The idea is that when a man and a woman are joined in holy matrimony, they promise to uphold their union above all other relationships. Married couples not only leave all others but also cleave to each other. My previous post was about mutual dependence in marriage, and my thoughts in the article exemplify the meaning of cleaving. Read it here.

When you are not forsaking/leaving all others, you will ultimately fail to cleave/unite to each other. Failure to forsake all others is a betrayal of the marriage vows. For many of us, our understanding of this phrase is focused on honouring the marriage bed. However, Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage, suggests that betrayal may take forms such as emotional connections or relational dependence with someone other than your spouse. It is not limited to sexual relations outside of a marriage. In some ways, ‘forsaking all others’ includes oneself, to the extent that married couples value mutual service.

Forsaking all other relationships

The term ‘forsake all others’ may seem problematic to some. Our culture, which hates marriage, emphasises that married persons should be loyal to the ‘boys’ or the ‘girls’: friends of the same gender, from before one became a husband or wife. Occasionally, these friends are like third-wheelers in a marriage. They approve or disapprove of the decisions that the marriages of their friends make, and their advice is esteemed, sometimes above that of a spouse. African culture is also communal in many regards, and occasionally the lines between the nuclear and extended family are blurred.

In one of her books, the late Elisabeth Elliot wrote that a choice is a limitation. To say yes to one thing is to deny another. Similarly, when one commits to their spouse, they are denying relational closeness befitting marriage with all others. Whether it’s connections with friends, family, or colleagues, your spouse should never compete with anyone else.

The flourishing of a marriage depends on the efforts of a husband and wife. Such effort includes guarding against competing loves. It is okay to set up boundaries that protect the exclusivity of a marriage. The wife must ensure that neither her family nor her friends come between the oneness she shares with her husband, and likewise, the husband.

Relational dependence has seen the failure of enough marriages. Where a spouse can never get over dependence on a party other than their spouse, that marriage is bound to struggle and, in the worst-case scenario, fail. If you have to depend on the opinion of someone other than your spouse to make a decision, especially non-technical decisions that inform the well-being of your family, you are standing on dangerous ground. If you find the company of other people more agreeable than your spouse’s, soon you’ll neglect your spouse.

By all means, marriage is not a license to neglect the nurturing of friendships. Forsaking all others doesn’t mean living in a bubble, away from others. There is great benefit in keeping friendships even after marriage. One of the joys of marriage has been sharing friendships and blood relations. My friends and relatives had only been with me before I got married. Now, they have my husband and me. Whereas these friendships are valued and nurtured, they do not compete with our devotion to our spouses.

Forsaking all other loves

A man has many things that may not be human, which are endearing to him. Some don’t struggle with forsaking all other relationships, but they have pet loves that they esteem more than their spouses. Sometimes, work, hobbies, or leisure may make your spouse feel as though they are competing for your attention. It is a personal responsibility of both husband and wife to ensure that they never make their spouses feel less important than their work, hobbies, or personal leisure.

The love shared between a couple should be cultivated and stewarded, ensuring that no other love is more appealing or worthwhile. Occasionally, couples fail because they are human and, therefore, imperfect. This is why repentance and forgiveness in marriage are active decisions. You choose to apologise and forgive every day, in equal measure.

Forsaking oneself

Perhaps this is the most controversial of ‘forsake all others’. Our culture is saturated with messages of self-love and living the soft life, which mainly involves attending only to one’s own affairs. In other words, selfishness.

All human relationships depend on love and sacrifice to flourish. Friends depend on each other, in different seasons of life, to act in love, inconveniencing themselves for the sake of the other. Parents lovingly sacrifice comforts for their children. When these children are old enough, they reciprocate the love and sacrifice. Where there is no love and sacrifice, relationships are bound to end.

How much more are love and sacrifice needed in a marriage, where you are committed to your spouse for life, and live in the same space every day of your lives? Every day of their lives, married persons must choose to consider the other better than themselves. Repeatedly doing this leads to ‘outdoing one another in showing honour, fulfilling the command in Romans 12:10.

This attitude of choosing your spouse above yourself is, in essence, forsaking oneself.

Christ, the ultimate model of forsaking all others

As I wrote in the post I referred to earlier, marriage is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the church. When husbands love their wives sacrificially, and wives submit to them willingly, they are preaching the gospel. Christ has loved His bride, the church, sacrificially by dying for her and continues to wash her by the water of His Word. The church, in reverent worship, submits to her Saviour in joyful obedience.

It is no wonder, then, that we see ‘forsaking all others’ in action through Christ’s life as He acts for the good of His bride. In humility, Christ, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:6-8).

Jesus forsook earthly comforts, despite being the Creator of all things. In Matthew 8:20, in response to a teacher of the law, He says, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” The teacher of the law had stated his willingness to follow Christ wherever He went. Through His response, Christ communicated that there was a cost attached to becoming His disciple, and, consequently, He needed the teacher of the law to count the cost and be willing to pay the price.

Elsewhere, in Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus was informed that His mother and brothers were outside, wanting to speak to Him. He replied that His mother and brothers were His disciples, those who do the will of His Father in heaven. Bible scholars say that Jesus’ mother and brothers were worried for His life because opposition had intensified. Perhaps they wanted to ask Him to stop, or tone down His teachings. Jesus was willing to be wrong in the opinion of His earthly family. He forsook the privilege of having His blood relations fully on board with His mission on earth.

The goal of Christ in forsaking all these things wasn’t for His own gain. He forsook and experienced forsakenness so that all people of all time, who would believe in Him, may not face the wrath of God on their Sin, and be forsaken by God the Father by being banished from His presence eternally.

Conclusion

Some marriages are complex in nature, especially those where there is abuse. The people who find themselves in such situations need to seek help for the health of their marriages, for my reflections to make sense.

It is a beautiful thing to leave one’s father and mother and cleave to one’s spouse. God has ordained this as the way new families begin. God intends to propagate the fame of His name through families. Children born into this kind of marriage feel safe, secure, and stable. Therefore, the health of individual families is directly proportional to their impact in making Christ known. A way to maintain healthy marriages is by ‘forsaking all others’.

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A marriage is a relationship of vulnerability and mutual dependency. Becoming one implies that spouses know each other well enough, despite their flaws and yet love each other deeply regardless of those imperfections. Where vulnerabilities or dependencies are not cherished or seen as invitations to mutual service, spouses compete against each other, keep scores, grow bitter, and their oneness is fractured.

Yet vulnerability or dependence doesn’t fit the modern life aesthetic. Each of us likes to present ourselves as people who are in charge of our lives. We resist appearing helpless. We are constantly under pressure to show ‘proof of life’ - evidence that we are firmly in control and, presently, have not faltered or caved to life’s pressures. Sadly, this attitude extends even to marriage, the very relationship where God has sanctioned vulnerability and dependence.

One of the most vulnerable moments in a woman’s life is the period after childbirth. The body has already stretched to great limits to bring new life, and you are often left without strength for other tasks. Apart from caring for the newborn, she must depend on those around her for nearly everything else. A wife may depend on her husband for physical care, while a husband may depend on his wife to manage the home. A wife may rely on her husband for repairs and maintenance, while a husband may depend on his wife’s financial prudence or homemaking skills. Sometimes a wife depends on her husband for financial provision while she focuses on raising the children.

In a society whose popular view of marriage is that ‘marriage hubamba mafala’ (loosely meaning marriage excites fools), the vulnerability and mutual dependency called for in marriage are seen as a trap and not a blessing. A mark of weakness and an exposure to exploitation. Something that must be overcome with the resolve of a feminist or the misogyny of an African macho man. In this post, I argue that being vulnerable and depending on your spouse as you navigate life together are positive traits, rooted in the biblical meaning of marriage and have always been the norm, practised ages before us.

Marriage - a covenant relationship

In his book This Momentary Marriage, John Piper discusses that marriage is first and foremost of God’s doing, for the display of God’s glory. God created marriage in Genesis 2. He intended that it display His sacrificial love for the church according to Ephesians 5. It is not a social construct to make lovers feel good. God meant it to point to the greater truth of Christ’s union with His bride, the church. From Eden, we see that God Himself instituted marriage so that Adam would not be lonely (Genesis 2:18). However, in our culture today, marriage has morphed into something that merely happens when two people are in love; therefore, when they fall out of love or can no longer stand each other’s company, they part ways. Marriage should serve a greater good.

Marriage was meant to display Christ’s relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). When two people get married in the presence of God and witnesses, and say their vows, they are committing to a covenant relationship. A covenant is a pact between two parties- in marriage, it is a pact to forsake all others and be beholden to only one. It is the responsibility of this man and woman, by God’s help, to uphold their end of the covenant duty in the varied seasons of their lives together. Christ Himself is an example, since He keeps His covenant with His bride - the church - nourishing and caring for her, to the end.

The marital covenant relationship is the basis of practising vulnerability and mutual dependency. Whether Providence brings seasons of sickness, physical incapacities such as the one from childbirth, or financial strains such as loss of employment, a husband and wife will not abandon one another because of external or internal threats arising from difficulties. Easy times, too, are not a threat to the covenant relationship by putting a rift between the two.

Spouses have confident trust in each other that, come what may, their partner will not betray them. This is a good thing.

1 Corinthians 7 and mutual dependency

First Corinthians 7 is a famous chapter in which Paul addresses the obligations married people have towards each other. In the same chapter, he addresses the celibate, but that’s a focus for another day.

Paul instructs wives and husbands, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment” (NKJV).

The NKJV uses the phrase “affection due” when addressing married people’s responsibilities towards each other. The word affection is not limited to sexual intimacy, but can be further stretched to mean a gentle feeling of fondness or liking of one another. Paul’s language places the responsibility not on the other person but on oneself. A ‘due’ insinuates that you owe, therefore, making it your responsibility to pay up. You have an obligation towards your spouse.

Through the mutual obligation of a husband and wife, they may expect sexual benefits from each other. This creates a dependence. This dependence creates a strong defence against temptation. Mutual dependence should be upheld in all areas of a marital covenant, especially the marriage bed.

Secure enough to be vulnerable.

The security of married believing persons is found in the person of Jesus Christ. Having been called and chosen from their past way of life, to walk in the newness of life, their security is found in the enduring love of Christ towards them. This love was displayed when Christ died on the cross for our sins. Therefore, when you marry, you don’t come into the marriage empty and with a needy attitude, looking to your spouse for fulfilment. Your security can only be found in Christ, who gave His life for the atonement of your sin, absolving you from the wrath to come.

Healthy mutual dependence isn’t anxious clinging. It is recognition that two are better than one, because they have a better return for their labour (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Therefore, each must pull their weight in mutual service for the success of the union. Married people must match each other’s efforts and outdo one another in showing honour.

Marriage is complementary. If there are certain abilities or advantages that your spouse possesses, do not be afraid to benefit from them. Likewise, don’t also withhold any of your advantages from your spouse. Isn’t it a mystery, for instance, that spouses trust each other in most areas of life but draw the line on finances? How much more good would be achieved if they mutually depended on each other, even on budgets, earnings, and other financial decisions?

Thoughts from medieval philosophers

Augustine of Hippo, in one of his famous works, On the Good of Marriage, highlighted the three goods: Offspring, Fidelity/faithfulness, and Permanence. He explained fidelity as mutually exclusive loyalty. Spouses commit to not engage in sexual relations outside marriage. This commitment creates confident trust based on love. Each partner relies on the other’s faithfulness, creating the grounds for mutual dependence.

In Summa Theologica, Thomas of Aquinas wrote, “Secondly, in relation to the secondary end of matrimony, which is the mutual services which married persons render one another in household matters. For just as natural reason dictates that men should live together, since one is not self-sufficient in all things concerning life, for which reason man is described as being naturally inclined to political society, so too among those works that are necessary for human life, some are becoming to men, others to women. Wherefore nature inculcates that society of man and woman which consists in matrimony.” The primary end, according to Thomas of Aquinas, is the birthing, raising, upbringing and education of offspring.

Couples help one another by managing different roles necessary for life together. On a Sunday morning, for instance, as I get my daughter and me ready for church, my husband gets himself ready and makes our breakfast. This simple routine has been a time saver on Sunday mornings. In this way, we depend on one another.

Conclusion

Married people should not act reservedly or in self-protection towards each other. Mutual dependency strengthens the companionship shared between spouses. If becoming one were a journey, you get there faster by relying on each other. Unless you are in an abusive marriage, in which case you need to find help, there is no basis for self-preservation, only an expectation for you to give yourself to the success of your union. Be dependable.

Single people desiring marriage should keep this at the centre of their minds. When the time comes, and you commit to someone for life, allow yourself to lean on that person as they do the same.

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My family loves to watch the YouTube show - Best Food Review Show. On it, the host, Sonny, travels around the world reviewing the cuisines of different countries, peoples and communities, remarking on the flavours. One of the things that interests me the most is the endless ways in which one can cook meat or make bread. From roasting, frying, and fermenting meat to baking, steaming, stuffing, and shallow-frying bread, the options are endless! This show makes my mind spin, wondering how I could transform the simple ingredients at hand into something enjoyable.

Chapatis, a form of unleavened bread, are a big deal in our country. Growing up, we looked forward to the festive holidays because chapatis were a reserve for such special occasions. That was before people started selling them on the streets. Nevertheless, people still love them.

In 2020, during the COVID-19 lockdown, a joke passed around that everyone was now making banana bread. I’m not sure about the banana bread, but I know that a lot of people within my circles took to baking. I wasn’t left behind. I began making our own bread, a practice that I have continued to date. My family treasures home-baked bread, and we could never trade it for the store-bought options. This is one of the reasons bread-making intrigues me greatly, since I always want to bring variations to our bread options.

In her book Bread of Life: Savoring the All-Satisfying Goodness of Jesus Through The Art of Bread-Making, Abigail Dodds labours to show us that making and eating bread are not just physical acts but point us to even greater spiritual realities. Joe Rigney, in Strangely Bright? Can You Love God and Enjoy This World? also reminds us that sensible pleasures - pleasures that we enjoy through our senses of taste, smell, sight - help us to take in the natural world. Our minds and hearts help us further by connecting the natural world to God, the creator and designer of all things. Our own Winlet Vusha also wrote something similar recently, reflecting on her baking journey. You can read the article here.

The Bible, both the Old and New Testaments, is awash with writings about bread. When the Israelites went hungry in the desert, God provided them with manna and bread for their sustenance. However, they were not content, not because the bread wasn’t enough, but because they were rejecting God, the Provider. Later, when tempted to turn stones to bread, Christ tells the devil that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Christ fully kept the law that the Israelites broke, evidenced by His satisfaction with the Word of life in this case. Likewise, when we eat bread and our physical bodies are satisfied, we should remember to tend to our spiritual being by taking satisfaction only in the Word of Life - the Bible.

In John 6, after feeding the five thousand, Jesus Christ proclaims Himself as the Bread of Life. “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:35). Therefore, do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval (John 6:27).

In this post, I’d like to share our favourite bread recipe for several reasons. Firstly, God has given us good gifts for our enjoyment. The smell and taste of bread are a testament to this fact. Secondly, my writing specially targets women, and this is a woman-to-woman moment, from my kitchen to your kitchen. Thirdly, as a culture, we haven’t explored bread-making, especially the leavened type, enough. The most we do with wheat flour, water, and salt is make chapatis. While those are good, we can explore bread-making further, for the benefit of those in our care. Lastly, this recipe is easy and beginner-friendly. The ingredients are accessible, and you may already have all of them in your kitchen.

Variations of the ingredients

Baking is a science. Once you understand the process, you can easily experiment with the ingredients, as long as the process isn’t compromised.

As a substitute for the warm water, you may use warm milk or buttermilk. The key here is that the liquid should be warm. If you choose to use milk, add half a cup more because milk is denser than water.

Some of the people who have tasted my bread have complained that the yeast taste was too much. Depending on your taste buds, reduce the amount of yeast by half a tablespoon or more. However, if you do this, increase the rising time by thirty minutes for every half tablespoon removed.

When it comes to oil, you can experiment with the options available in your kitchen. I have used melted butter and lard as a substitute. I did not notice a change in taste.

Finally, you may also vary the type of flour. A favourite of ours is combining whole brown wheat flour with white store-bought flour.

Conclusion

Just like all of our good works, bread-making doesn’t recommend you before God. That can only happen by trusting in the finished work of Christ. You are not less of a woman or wife just because your circumstances, resources, or even interests don’t allow you to make your own bread.

On the flipside, you make your own bread in vain if you have not tended to the satisfaction of your soul, which is only found in Christ. Indeed, do not work for the food that spoils, but for that which endures to eternal life.

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I grew up in the village. In those days, you were free to access your neighbours at any time of the day. If you needed something, you could walk into a home and be assured of getting the kind of help you desired.

Across the road from my home, there were several homes linked by fences, with only a makeshift gate left in between them. You could walk across ten homesteads by crossing through these fence gates. There was no need to use the road.

Still, in this interconnected community, I suffered greatly from being bullied by children in my village as a child. The boys would heckle me through the fence of my home. This caused me great distress, and, as a way to cope, I developed an individualistic mindset. To date, I have no friendships from my childhood in the village. I largely saw community as a nuisance, not a blessing.

My immediate neighbour was a pilferer. On several occasions, my mum caught him or his children digging our potatoes or stealing a pile of firewood left out to dry. We could never leave any items in the kitchen outside the main house because we’d not find them the following day. Once, my sisters visited one of his children, who was my mum’s friend and spotted a few items that her father had stolen. How could you love such people, who were out to harm you?

However, I know about kids who enjoyed their childhood in the village. I heard them play football using a ball made of trash paper. Sometimes, kids would combine efforts and help each other with chores in one of their homes. Since they all went to the same primary school, their lives were woven together as they would enjoy life as neighbours and classmates. They fought and made up. They played together in the evenings and went down to the river to fetch water together. Some of them were related by blood. To them, this life was a dream!

The repulsive character of some of my neighbours made me a loner. If someone, especially boys, provoked me along the road, I’d refuse to answer back. I’d then hear word that I was a prideful young girl. I developed a thick skin for it and moved on with life. It wasn’t until recent years of my adulthood that I began to consider the village way of living and interacting as a blessing, compared to our interactions in the digital age.

A New Kind of Village

Some time last year, a story of a Tik-Toker who received great help from the TikTok community was featured on local news. According to the story, the boy had shared his situation: an unwell father and a mother unable to meet the family’s needs while caring for him. Due to his dire situation, he had been forced to step up and take on the load of providing for his family. This story touched many hearts, and they gathered to visit his family with supplies, financial, and medical help. This was an incredible story of an online community coming together for those they saw as their own.

Certainly, ‘the village’ has found a whole new meaning in the wake of the internet advancement. Unlike my village, a community doesn’t have to be people who live nearby. As a matter of fact, a community doesn’t have to be people you know or have met in person. The people who visited the Tik-Toker’s family were mostly strangers.

The internet has given us the freedom to curate the kind of community we want for ourselves. We call these like-minded people. My problem, while growing up, was that I was forced to live within a community whose habits I found repulsive. The internet age cures this by allowing us to choose our own people. We have no obligations to people whose behaviours or values we find repulsive.

Screen influences in our interactions

As technology has advanced, we have moved from a time when, after the introduction of TVs, families reduced communication and eye contact among themselves, by facing the same direction to watch TVs. Currently, everyone has a gadget and can retreat to their own world, even when physically together. Further, neighbours don’t have to interact because everyone is busy within the walls of their homes, virtually interacting with people miles away, not seeing the need to interact with those close by. This behaviour has spread from the family level to the society level.

The benefits of online community have made us less and less social. Why should I do the work of knowing my neighbour if I can find a neighbour online, or, better still, if I can still keep up with the people I already know, despite long distances? We live for years with people whom we see daily, but never make an effort to know. We board matatus and sit next to strangers, but never make an effort to talk to them.

Unlike my village neighbourhood, where neighbours left small gates connecting one compound to another, we erect tall perimeter walls that bar us from interactions. Essentially, we don’t need each other because we think we already have a sufficient community at the other end of the phone call or Facebook Messenger. My family once lived in a small estate of about twelve bungalows, but we only got to know one of the neighbours, with whom we share mutual friends. We were separated by tall perimeter walls, without access to each other.

When we lost my brother-in-law and started receiving many visitors, none of my neighbours showed up. They watched as droves of people arrived at our compound and sat down outside, sang hymns, and offered prayers, for three days, not with the faintest curiosity. Up to now, no one has asked whether we are fine or what was happening at the time. On the other hand, my husband’s friend, a water vendor, asked what was happening and offered to spread the word to other workers in the neighbourhood with whom my husband interacts. I point to this fact not as a complaint, but to drive the point of this article. I am almost certain that I would have behaved similarly if the roles were reversed. The part of me that is unsure is probably just my self-righteousness.

I’m not ignorant of the fact that rural-urban migration has presented difficulties in fostering village-like communities. Most neighbourhoods are a blend of different people from varying backgrounds and cultures. Usually, these people are only in one place for a short while, since we keep finding new jobs and opportunities that cause us to move around. It is, therefore, difficult to grow roots in the neighbourhoods we live in. Unless you are a homeowner, it is difficult to invest and participate in the community in front of you.

As the world changes technologically, and the realities of the digital age set in, we are bound to lose touch with the traditional ways through which human beings have always socialised. Individuals will continue to prefer isolation to doing the work of knowing those in front of them.

The concept of socio-virtualisation

According to a study published in the London Journal of Social Sciences, this phenomenon of individuals distancing themselves from society and traditional ways of socialisation and spending more time in the virtual world is called socio-virtualisation. “Individuals who become increasingly alienated from society’s values, norms, customs, traditions, and customs, and cannot fully grasp these elements of social life, may find themselves further entrenched in a “socio-virtualisation” situation. This is because it provides a comfortable environment where they are not questioned for their behavior. As a result, it is likely that the number of individuals experiencing similar sociological and psychological processes within society will increase.”

We are embodied human beings. Being embodied means we experience life physically and in person through our God-given human senses, emotions, and intuition. However, when we socio-virtualise, we only experience life conceptually. We can’t see, touch, hear, or express our emotions to the people we are interacting with. When we eventually encounter real-life situations that demand that we interact, we don’t know how to. Our consistent preference for online interactions is making us socially awkward beings.

Further, as a society, socio-virtualisation is reducing our tolerance levels. If I don’t like someone or what they say, I can hurl insults behind my keyboard and screen without direct consequences to my actions. In the village, my mum had to address wrongs with the parents of children who insulted us so that there would be consequences for wrong actions. When one was marked as a problematic member of the village, life became difficult because one lost trust and access to people. This was society’s way of performing its own checks and balances. Being physically present forces us to develop virtues like patience and forgiveness.

The internet enables us to curate ‘like-minded’ people. We further weaken the tolerance muscle, since we only interact with people who think and behave like us. We don’t have to deal with the difficult-to-love person in front of us. According to some research in the West, young people are increasingly unable to positively accept criticism or correction because they are in echo chambers. The people they interact with are those who think and talk like them and also hate the same things as they do.

Embodiment, from the Bible

The incarnation of Christ, which is a fundamental truth of our Christian faith, sheds light on the fact of our embodiment. Jesus Christ was born of a woman, into this world, as a human being, so that He’d be the perfect representative of the sinner before the holy God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14). For thirty years, He walked among men, entering into their daily lives so that He’d be the perfect High Priest, who sympathises with them because He had been tested in every way, just as they were (Hebrews 4:15).

The commands of Jesus, given to His disciples, can only be carried out in an embodied manner. Discipleship is impossible to carry out without physically doing life together. Baptism can never happen online. Though some Christian circles are now virtually observing the Lord’s supper, there is no faint idea in the Bible that it can be partaken of any other way than in a physical meeting.

Paul’s command about one-anothering can only happen within an embodied community. How can you love someone with whom you don’t regularly interact to observe their flaws and love them despite them? How can you serve or show mercy to someone online? How can you be hospitable to someone whom you can’t see?

For these reasons, there can never be an ‘online church’. I mention this as a side note, but an important point to note all the same. Jesus and the apostles drew their commands from the reality of human beings being embodied creatures. The church, too, is built on this assumption. This is why it is important to belong to a local congregation of believers. Even Paul’s description of the church - the body of Christ - denotes embodiment.

The resurrection will be embodied. When Christ returns, the bodies of those who die with Him shall be raised to life. Christ will restore the earth and usher in the new heavens and the new earth, where He shall dwell physically with His people as they enjoy eternal fellowship together (1 Corinthians 15, Revelation 21).

Finding Balance

As I mature into adulthood, my view is changing. I don’t loathe the village-like community because of some of its nuances. I have come to see the blessings that come with living in the same locale and having a community that knows you and can serve you as you serve them. I appreciate our neighbouring friends who live a few meters away. We try to get together for dinner once a month. The husbands exchange ideas on repairing things around the house, and the wives consult on recommendations for help around the two households.

There are many benefits that the internet age has given us. We’ve heard stories of how our parents would finish school and part ways with their classmates, never to be seen again. On the occasion that they kept in contact, they’d have to endure many tedious months of exchanging letters. However, eventually, even relationships that begin with online interaction have to adapt to traditional ways of interacting for them to flourish. My husband and I first spoke and interacted on Facebook. But we had to meet physically, a few weeks later.

Recently, two families who have been close and dear to us moved to other parts of the world. Though they are far away, I appreciate the access I have to them through the internet.

Such are the tensions we have to manoeuvre. The age of screens is not to be completely loathed, but it is not to master us or make us forget our traditional ways of interaction. Take a look at your life and consider ways in which you can practise embodied living. Take an interest in your neighbour and pursue a relationship with them. Get to know your guard, caretaker, or plumber who works for you. If you are a believer, join a local church and participate meaningfully. Do not be content with ‘online church’.

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Modern society views education as the formation of the mind and intellect - something that mainly happens in schools, intending to prepare learners for the workforce. In this context, information is transferred from the teacher’s mind to the student’s. The measure of this process’s success is usually through tests. A student’s mastery of the content is summarised by how they perform on these tests. Those who do well on the tests are considered well-educated.

Test scores largely determine whether a person does well in life. This is because there is a greater likelihood that someone will acquire a good job and hence, live a comfortable life when they perform well on the tests.

In this post, I want us to consider education from another angle. By the end of this article, you’ll realise that education is much more than the training of the mind, and, hence, a well-educated person is not one who merely passes exams and acquires a high-flying career. Though the modern view of education oversimplifies it to the point of almost losing its meaning, a biblical worldview of education provides a much more robust understanding of how we should approach the subject.

The Latin Roots

The word education comes from the Latin verb educare, which means to rear, bring up, nourish, or train. It is also closely related to the verb educere, which means to lead out or draw forth. These two Latin verbs form the noun educatio. Educatio is interpreted as ‘revealing’ or ‘exposing’ to the outside.

Using the Latin roots of the word education, the scholar Christopher Perrin defines education as the formation of a human being—shaping the whole person through cultural transmission, the passing on of wisdom and knowledge from one generation to the next, and the cultivation of wisdom and virtue.

Perrin arrives at this definition by considering aspects of child-rearing, nourishing the God-given mind, and training in wisdom and virtue. Since every learner is created in God’s image, they must be led out of ignorance and their affections cultivated to love what is good, true, and beautiful. We achieve this through a good education.

Before modern progressive education, this was how societies viewed and practised education. Models such as apprenticeship not only involved the transmission of skills but also a holistic upbringing and passing down of morals and ethics to help in the trade.

Biblical Roots

There is a Greek counterpart to the word education, as understood in its Latin roots. The word is paideia. In its Greek origin, the word paideia was used to describe the upbringing and rearing of a child, the formation of a child and the cultural transmission involved.

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul states, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The word translated as ‘discipline’ in this verse literally means paideia. Paul’s instruction to the fathers goes beyond just teaching their children some bible verses or bible stories. It involves shaping a child into a mature and responsible adult. This outcome cannot be achieved only through the transmission of information and training of the intellect. It is the holistic formation of the whole person, so that the intellect, body, morals, character, and the soul are nourished.

Circling back to the meaning of education in its Latin roots, we see the similarities of these two ideas as perceived in both the Greek and Latin etymologies.

Paideia in action

In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Moses instructs the Israelites, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” For the Israelites, every waking moment was a learning opportunity. They were to consider God and His works, handed down from one generation to another, every day of their lives.

When we consider education in its Latin roots and paideia as understood in Greek, we see that Moses was essentially instructing parents to educate their children. In the verses that follow, Moses told the Israelites that this education was to help their generations to fear the Lord and guard them from worshipping idols.

Content of education

My highlighting of paideia among the Israelites comes with the risk of appearing to advocate that children should learn only what is recorded in the Bible. Nothing could be further from the truth.

God is the source of all truth. Every truth or fact about the world and its workings is so because He created everything and sustains all things. His works are marvellous and mighty, and can be studied and understood through disciplines such as Science, Geography, and Maths. Every beautiful thing worth our consideration is only so because it points back to its creator. The galaxies proclaim the wonders of their creator. The discipline of science and astronomy helps us understand how they work. The law of gravity, as studied in physics, helps us appreciate the God of order and see that He sustains all things by His power.

The creator of all things has invited men, His highest created beings, to co-create with Him. Every true, beautiful, or good thing created by man is worth our consideration because it leads us to discover God. Famous paintings like Wanderer above the Sea of Fog (1818) by German artist Caspar David Friedrich help us appreciate beauty, manifested in a person’s creativity. Space fails me, or else I’d have given my observation of this masterpiece. The same is true of music, architecture, and sensible fashion, among other creative works.

Therefore, just as Moses commanded the Israelites to tell their generations about the works of God, we can ensure that our children learn about God and His world. When we do this, we are educating. Education that is divorced from God, the creator of all things and source of all truth, will only lead to idolatrous minds. Worse still, it does not prepare the hearts of those trained through it to meet God at the end of time.

What are we to educate our children about? Everything good, true, and beautiful. We are also to cultivate virtue in them, because we recognise that training the mind without ordering the affections of their hearts will produce proud men and women who do not love God and their neighbour, rendering them useless for this life.

Our children are embodied human beings, with a body and soul. A good education will cultivate both. Human beings are neither creatures to be amused or entertained by a shallow education, nor robots to input information expecting a certain outcome, without engaging their physical bodies. Both the mind, heart, and body must be engaged. The mind is informed to gain wisdom, eloquence, discernment, and critical thinking. The heart is affected to love the right things, develop a biblical worldview, and form good habits and character. The body is formed and disciplined for self-control and faithful stewardship of the bodily temple.

Should we prepare our children to be well-equipped for the workforce? Certainly! They must attain the necessary skills for responsible living through employment or entrepreneurship. However, as I discussed in this article, since we believe human beings are created in God’s image and have souls with eternal value, we do not educate without eternity in view. We educate so that our children may flourish on this earth: gain a heart of wisdom and discernment, love the right things and hate sin, serve God and neighbour through their God-given talents. We also educate for eternity: that they may not fear or tremble at the second coming of Christ, when He comes back as judge.

Who is an educated person?

From my discourse so far, we may conclude that a well-educated person fears the Lord. Having considered His works, he has a reverent heart. Chief of God’s works is His plan of redemption. The knowledge of a well-educated person leads them to submit to Christ, in whom, through whom, and for whom all things were created (Colossians 1:16).

A truly educated person is virtuous. In a future article, I will describe the virtues of education. For now, the simple meaning of this is that this sort of person possesses humility, acknowledging the vastness of God’s truth and works and the limitation of the human mind. This sort of person is just - pursuing fairness and righteousness, generous instead of greedy, pure instead of lustful, zealous rather than lazy, patient when tempted to anger, abstinent in the face of temptation, and kind but not envious.

An educated individual will continue in wonder and curiosity. Their zeal for learning does not end when they complete formal training. They are interested in learning new things that help them steward their lives well. They marvel at the rising of the sun, the waves of the ocean and the budding of flowers. They read great books regularly to exercise the mind.

An enlightened person is skilled. As I mentioned earlier, education involves ‘drawing out’. Through the process of education, a person identifies their God-given talents and abilities, for use in God’s world to serve His people for His glory.

A well-educated person is faithful and diligent. They may not be in a white-collar job earning a huge salary, but they take their God-given vocations seriously and use their skills to witness about God as they serve fellow human beings. They are aware that in the grand scheme of things, their vocation is not trivial.

Lastly, a well-educated person lives with eternity in mind. They know that there is a life after this, and they will have to give an account of how they stewarded their lives when Christ returns.

Conclusion

Parents, as you consider schooling and instruction for your children and engage with them in their learning, ponder these things.

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As we face the reality of evil around us, whether it is the general evil and moral decay of society or the consequences of evil meted out to us directly, we get anxious and angry.

Currently, in my country, there is an increase in cases of missing children. Parents are agonising over the pain of losing children, many below the age of ten years, with no clue on how to find them, but holding on to hope that they will be found alive. This is an evil that we are all feeling the effects of and are disturbed by. Collectively, we hope that the perpetrators will be found out and brought to account.

The souls of those who have trusted in Christ for their salvation are continually being sanctified and made holy. One implication of this is that we are sharpened to recognise and hate any appearance of evil. As a result, we do not spectate and stand by when we witness sin and its consequences around us. We are disturbed and ask, “How long, O Lord?” The presence of evil around us causes us to long for perfection, because we hold fast to the promise that one day, God will make all things new.

Today’s post takes on a familiar Psalm, challenging us to respond thoughtfully to the evil present around us. I will examine commands to the righteous, contrast evildoers with the righteous, and highlight God’s promises to the righteous in light of punishment for evildoers.

Commands to the righteous

When you witness evil around you, don’t be anxious about it. Instead, look to the Lord in trust and continue to savour His goodness. Walk uprightly, entrusting all your ways to Him. Your walk before God is the only thing you are responsible for. In your indignation towards evil, don’t be angry. In due time, the Lord will correct it. Wait upon Him. As you do all these things, look for ways to champion holiness and cheer on those who walk uprightly.

Our trust in God is rooted in His character. He is good and just. Though evil may seem to overpower us, His goodness will overcome all evil. Though evil may seem to triumph, He will finally give to each person according to what they have done (Revelation 22:12).

When we delight in God, He becomes our true satisfaction. This is the antidote to fighting envy towards the prosperity of the wicked. Those who are in Christ have found a great treasure (Matthew 13:44) whose worth and beauty far surpass the enticement of any material prosperity. This thought should exceedingly increase our delight in Him, for He is our portion and inheritance forever (Psalm 16:5).

Trust and delight in God will result in our committing our ways to Him. We are confident that our lives on this earth are safe in His hands, whatever our lot may be. We are secure in Christ not only in this life, but forever! No evil can separate us from God’s hand (Romans 8:38-39).

Elsewhere, the scriptures command us not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). The exhaustion that comes with witnessing evil all around us may bring weariness to our souls, and we may wonder the point of pursuing righteousness. However, we are to counter evil by doing good. Your little acts of righteousness may not seem to avail much in comparison to the effects of evil, but in the grand scheme of things, they are an act of faith, held out to God like the two fish and five loaves, and God can use them greatly for His glory and the good of His people.

Contrast between the righteous and the wicked

The Psalmist uses strong words to describe evildoers. They are ever plotting against the Lord’s people. Sometimes, they are after the life of the righteous. David knows this too well. At one point in time, King Saul is after his life and on another, his own son Absalom seeks to put him to death.

The devil plans to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). No wonder that his agents behave like him. In Revelation 12:10, he is the accuser of the brethren. Our enemy lives for our downfall and employs all his devices to ensure that we miss our heavenly destination. He may do this by using his agents to perpetuate evil against us directly or in God’s world, with the aim that we mistrust God. He prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8): both by tempting us to sin and casting a melancholic shadow upon us so that we may despair of all hope.

When you think of the persecuted and martyred Christians, the devil wishes that through the evil he metes out against them, many will freak out from committing to the faith, and those who are Christians will be discouraged to the point of losing their faith. The evildoers are simply serving the master’s orders and advancing his agenda.

On the other hand, the fruit of the righteous is a tree of life (Proverbs 11:30). Their words bring life and healing (Proverbs 12:18). While the transgressors bring destruction, the believers are life-giving.

The wicked man cannot be depended upon. He borrows but does not pay back. In contrast, the righteous man gives generously. He is selfless in his giving because he trusts that God will supply all his needs according to his riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). In tough economic times like the one we are in, the righteous still gives - he has compassion on the needy and participates in the ministry of his church by financial giving. He is not anxious about lack, withholding his finances to buffer him during rainy days. He knows that the God who expects us to give provides for all our needs.

The righteous man is also careful in his speech. His tongue is bridled (James 1:26). The meditations of his heart, flowing out of his mouth, are full of wisdom and justice (Matthew 12:34). The wicked speak falsehood (Psalm 12:2), destruction (Proverbs 16:7), their throats are an open grave and they speak to deceive (Romans 3:13), they scoff and speak with malice (Psalm 73:8-9), and they speak from their corruption (Luke 6:45).

God’s promises to the righteous and the woes to the wicked

God is not a silent bystander as evil occurs; He has promised to act. The righteous will not go unrewarded. God’s justice ensures each receives their due, affirming that evil has a decisive end.

Think of an evil done against you at a personal level that you have had to endure. Firstly, your ability to endure is God-given, in line with His promise to uphold you. As you persevere in difficulty, the Lord has promised to parade your righteousness as an example for others to emulate. If you have been treated unjustly, wait for the Lord, for His vindication.

The wicked boasts in his bravado and strength, but the righteous is meek and gentle, seeking not to overcome evil by his own strength but trusting in God. In the end, it is the meek who inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5) - the perfectly restored new heaven and earth. There, he shall rule with His Saviour (Revelation 22:5).

One of the rewards of the righteous will be witnessing the destruction of all evil: the devil and the wicked. The Psalmist states that they will look on as the wicked are cut off. This puts into perspective the command to fret not. In just a little while, all the wickedness will come to an end.

The ultimate fulfilment of these promises will be at the second coming of Christ. On that day, those who practise evil shall receive a reward of their wickedness - eternal damnation. There will be nowhere to hide. Their craftiness in planning evil will not help them on that day. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death (Revelation 21:8).

The cross makes us righteous

The righteous man is not so because of his own efforts. The only way to acquire a righteous state is by acknowledging the holiness of God, which demands wrath on all unrighteousness. Seeing that they have nothing in themselves to appease God’s wrath, they turn to Christ, the only righteous Man who lived perfectly, and trust in the work of the cross, where this Christ appeased the wrath of God.

It is only after this has happened that any of our works can be counted as good and righteous, because they are covered in the righteousness of Christ. You deceive yourself by thinking that anything you do can make you righteous. Hence, if you have not trusted in Christ, you are part of the wicked, who will be destroyed.

The invitation of the gospel stands. Today, you may become righteous by repenting of your sins and trusting in Jesus for your salvation.

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Today is the beginning of the weekend. For most people, it signifies rest from their daily schedules. To others, it means participating in family events, enjoying leisure time, catching up on undone chores/errands, cleaning, and spending time with family… The possibilities are endless.

I have come to love habits and routines. As I wrote in this article, most of life is ordinary. Highlights don’t accompany daily life. One way to delight in it is to establish routines and habits that help us steward time and other resources faithfully.

As a mother and wife, I am aware that I have to plan my days well to have the maximum impact on my family. This includes a day of rest. Usually, my family gets to rest on Sundays. We rest in that we do not engage in usual home routines and office work like on other days. We also rest by attending the gathering of the saints in our local body, where we contemplate God’s goodness alongside other saints.

Sundays are an important day of the week for my family. Before my husband and I got married, in our Premarital Counselling classes, we were encouraged through the material we were studying - Tying the Knot by Rob Green - to prioritise church and aim to attend at least forty-eight Sundays out of the fifty-two in a year. Further, we have adopted habits that help us achieve this, guarding the day. I’ll share these with you, not as laws to follow but as wisdom that you may glean from.

Last year, as I shared in my annual reading list here, one of the books I read was Zeal Without Burnout by Christopher Ash. He discusses the importance of rest if we are to engage in sustainable work and service to our families and in our churches. After God created the world in seven days, as told in Genesis 2, He rested from His labours and looked back to admire His work, observing that it was good. God rested, neither because He needed rejuvenation after exhaustion nor because for a moment He had stopped governing the universe. Our God modelled a pattern of resting after engaging in creative work. We, too, must regularly rest from our labours.

Different theological traditions have certain ways of observing the sabbath. My post isn’t a theological reflection on the same, but an acknowledgement of the need for rest as human beings. In our case, as a family, the day of rest and Sunday worship intertwine. We don’t do the practices I will share as a means of seeking approval from God, but as a way to steward our time and physical bodies, and to ensure that we are not neglecting the meeting together of believers, as the command in Hebrews 10:25 goes.

Hosting/Guest Habits

We love sleepovers. We were especially good at hosting them and visiting others in their house before our baby was born. However, at one point, we realised they had become an impediment to meaningfully engaging in worship. Sometimes we’d sleep late on Saturday night and doze off during sermon time the following day.

We agreed that we’d no longer have guests spending the night on Saturdays, and if we went out visiting friends on Saturdays, we’d be back at a decent time. All hosting scheduled on Saturdays happens during the day.

On Sunday afternoons, we love to host and be hosted. A lot of our friendships and nurturing of community with our churchmates have been formed on Sunday afternoons as we shared meals, reviewed sermons, studied books together, played games, and attended birthday parties. This is a very refreshing time for us, and it is at the top of our priorities.

Chore Habits

On Saturday evenings and nights, we cover the main chores that help lighten the burden on our Sundays. We cook enough food for Sunday and clear the sink of all dirty dishes, because on Sundays we also rest from household duties. Typically, we are okay leaving dirty dishes in the sink on Sundays, to be cleared on Monday morning when we do a weekly home reset.

I know that there are people who freak out at the sight of dirty dishes in the sink and would never rest until they are cleared. We are all different. To one person, resting is refraining from usual work and to another, resting is relaxing after finishing the tasks. Whichever the case, we have to be intentional about scheduling time for rest.

On some Sundays, we host guests in the afternoon, whether friends, churchmates or one of our church’s small groups. When we do, we do the most preparation on Saturday night, where we chop and preboil things. When we come home from church, the only remaining work is cooking and then sharing the meal with our guests.

Sunday Worship preparation habits

We learnt from a family in church to pick out clothes and iron them on Saturday night. This minimises the time spent deciding on what to wear on a Sunday morning. I have a toddler who now wants to pick her clothes, and on some Sunday mornings, she disapproves of my choices for her, preferring to decide for herself. I mention this to show that none of these is a foolproof plan, only a step of intentionality to keep you on track.

Except for food, we pack and place everything we need to carry on Sunday near the door so that it is not easy to miss on our way out. This also reduces preparation time on Sunday mornings.

We aim for a decent bedtime on Saturday evenings. This is important because weekends are also a time to catch up on our favourite shows, and the temptation to go to bed late is always near. If the tasks aimed at helping our Sundays are too many, we forfeit family screen time.

Sometimes I read the main text of the sermon planned for the next day, along with the scripture of preparation before the sermon, according to our Sunday worship liturgy. I don’t always achieve this, but I try to. This helps to ready my heart for worship and the sermon. Occasionally, when my husband is teaching or preaching on Sunday, he will reflect on his notes on Saturday evening.

Habits that I wish to adopt

As a way to rest from external distractions, I hope to further minimise my phone usage on the actual day of rest. I use my phone the least on Sundays, but I could still make more improvements.

Although I’m not disturbed by dirty dishes on Sundays, I still wish we could leave the kitchen counters in better order on Sunday mornings. As a family, we could do a better job of tidying by putting away what we use.

Christ, our sabbath rest

Hebrews 4:9-11 states, “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.”

In vain do we try to rest if we have not entered spiritual rest in Christ. Our labours or rest will be an attempt to save our souls. This is chasing after the wind because salvation is only found in Christ. As we strive to rest our bodies and be productive in our stations, let us first enter God’s rest through the saving work of Christ.

Conclusion

None of these things commends us before God, but they have served us well as a family. These habits strengthen our unity by aiding our working together and maximising our attentiveness during worship.

The rest we get on Sundays propels us into the week and gives us the strength to carry on with our work. Our Sunday interactions with others also refresh us. We laugh and, for a moment, forget all our cares and the load of responsibilities.

Going to church is the absolute favourite thing on Sundays. This year, my church has been handling teachings on eschatology, and we have covered topics such as death, heaven, and hell. This has been timely and Providential in helping my heart’s posture and reminding me of truths that transcend all of my present circumstances.

If we are to maximise our impact wherever God places us, we have to care for our souls and bodies. Rest is one practical way. We don’t flourish accidentally. Examine your life and see if there are practices you need to reinforce or get rid of to help you regularly rest your body and also ensure the nourishing of your soul.

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As I have observed patterns in the teachings at my church this month, I see that the Lord is teaching us a foundational principle: the church’s foundation and the obligations of church membership. We have several small groups that discuss various aspects of doctrine and its applications in our context. In most instances, the discussions centred on who the church is, how members engage with the truth of her identity, and how this affects our obligations to her. In addition, one of our pastors returned to his home country, and his last sermon centred around this subject.

This article is a summary of these lessons, with an admonition and application for the same.

The Church’s Foundation

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah. (Matthew 16:13-20)

In this discourse, Christ applauds Peter for his confession that Christ is the Messiah, the Son of the Living God. This revelation was not born out of mere sharpness of mind. The Spirit of God has revealed Christ to Peter, convincing him that He is the fulfilment of the OT prophecies and causing him to trust in the Messiah.

Furthermore, Christ says that it is upon this confession, Christ is the Son of the Living God, upon which He will build the church. The church isn’t a social club, invented by like-minded people, where people go on Sundays because they have nothing else to do. It is God’s idea, established through the Person and work of Jesus Christ.

Christ also promises, in this text, that the gates of hell shall not prevail against her. The invincible church of God will neither be defeated nor overcome by any of the enemy’s schemes. She will always stand until the return of Christ. As we witness the persecution of believers in certain parts of the world or the compromise of the church in other parts, we are tempted to worry and think that the enemy is winning. However, Christ has promised that the church will never suffer defeat. She will continue to plunder the gates of the enemy and snatch those heading to the fire (Jude 22-23) until her founder, Christ, comes back to ransom her.

The members of the church are Christ’s trophy and his possession. The apostle Peter says that we are living stones, being built into a spiritual house (2 Peter 2). Christ is the cornerstone of this house. As His representatives on earth, He has laid His authority on her and ‘whatever she binds on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever she looses on earth will be loosed in heaven’. As Christ charged His disciples to ‘go to all nations and make disciples of men’ (Matthew 28:18-20), He left them authority to multiply His regenerative power among all men through His Spirit as witnessed on Pentecost (Acts 2).

In Revelation 1, when John receives the Revelation to the seven churches in Asia Minor, he sees a vision of ‘someone like a son of man, among seven golden lampstands’. Later, the one speaking in the vision explains that the seven golden lampstands represent the seven churches. The one speaking, who is like a son of man, also introduces Himself, “I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Christ, the living One, stands among the churches because He is their head. It is with this authority - the founder and Head of the church - that He is about to send John to the seven churches.

The church is God’s idea, made possible by Christ. Christ ordained that she carry out His redemptive purposes here on earth. This truth demands that every person who trusts in Christ belongs to a church. How else are you to carry out His redemptive purposes or represent Him on earth accurately, if you don’t belong to a church? Becoming part of the universal church demands that we belong to local bodies.

Church Membership

In Acts, there is an explosion in the number of believers, as the Spirit empowers Peter and other apostles to testify about Christ. About three thousand people are added to their numbers on that day. The disciples seem to be keeping track of these numbers.

While we are part of the universal church, which consists of believers from all peoples and nations and, of all times, we cannot execute the instructions of Christ unless we join local congregations. Most of the epistles are letters to local congregations, formed as a result of the apostles’ evangelism in those localities.

It is imperative, therefore, that every person who professes faith in Christ, Son of the living God, joins and commits to a church. To do otherwise is to live in disobedience. Quoting Megan Hill, in her book Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger states, “The church is not a human invention… The church is established by Christ, protected and nourished by Christ, governed by Christ, and exists for the glory of Christ. Because of this, the church is also not optional… The church is fundamental to the identity of everyone who belongs to Christ.”

Implications to Us

Since the church is God’s idea, founded upon Christ, and church membership is mandatory, we have to be meaningful members of the local church. Our commitment to the church is directly proportional to our understanding of the truths above. If you don’t belong to a church, ensure you join one that is healthy and is committed to living out Christ’s instructions.

If we find ourselves trivialising the weekly gathering of the saints, perhaps we haven’t understood the church’s mandate given by Christ, or worse still, haven’t understood who her head is. If we understood this truth, we would not only want to be identified with her but also work for her growth and good. This includes faithful attendance. We may have legitimate reasons for absence from time to time, but this should never be a habit.

Our priorities will reveal much about us. What percentage of our time is invested in the church? Do we give our churches and the members therein leftovers of our time? Are we too busy to serve a bereaved member, a new mum, or a sick member in our midst? Do we avail ourselves when our churches set up programs for us to participate in to grow in God’s knowledge or to evangelise our communities? The call for evangelism is for women, too.

Our attitude, especially as women, towards the instituted leadership of our churches and towards their members, reveals the condition of our hearts. Do we sabotage the leadership by being difficult members to care for? Do we gossip fellow members, God’s people created in His image, and fellow co-heirs with Christ? If we do these things, we minimise her impact.

While we are given different sets of circumstances, with various challenges, we are called to strive for the good of the church. Our primary call, as women, is to our families. However, we also have an obligation to our churches. Therefore, we ought to consider ways to delight in and serve the saints. Women are well-suited to serve in hospitality, a practical way to meaningfully participate in your church. I challenge you to ensure that this year, you host every member of your church, or a percentage, depending on the size of your membership.

Meaning In Eternity

As we are gathered in churches in different localities, speaking different languages, spanning the ages, we are practising for the new Jerusalem. In the new Jerusalem, we shall gather as peoples from every tribe, tongue, and nation, and of all ages. There, we shall dwell with Christ, our founder and head, and enjoy an eternity with Him.

Ultimately, the church isn’t about us. It is not about our preferences and does not exist to serve our sometimes selfish ambitions. She exists for God’s glory. Christ nourishes and cares for her through His Word and by giving her officers to act as under-shepherds. He will purge, purify, and discipline her, to make her holy and blameless, so that He may find her ready at His coming.

Elect saint, gather with your fellow saints this Sunday.

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The Psalms have been a balm to my soul during this season. At the beginning of the year, I planned to read through the Psalms in little chunks. In hindsight, I believe this was God’s Providence. The Word of God in Psalms has given me a lifeline of truths to meditate upon in bite-sized portions.

Psalm 139 has informed many of my meditations. In what follows, I will share with you some of what I have gleaned.

We are known

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

It is both a scary and a comforting thought to be known. It is scary because our thoughts aren’t always God-honoring, yet the Lord discerns them from afar. Sometimes, our tongues aren’t bridled, and we speak things that do not build up. We speak out of the abundance of our hearts, but before any of our ponderings become words, the Lord already knows.

At the same time, it is comforting to know the thoroughness with which God knows us. In moments when we are plagued with discouragement, and our minds are too fixated on our present circumstances, the Lord knows. Before we utter any plea for mercy or cry for help, He already knows. Most importantly, He not only knows, but He moves to act in our favour. God promised His exiled people in Isaiah 65:24 that before they call, He would answer, and while they were still speaking, He would hear. In the same way, God knows us and is eager to attend to us and meet us in our circumstances.

God knows all our ways. Most of the time, we go through life as though we are alone and unknown. We wake up, eat, sleep, and attend to our duties, oblivious to God’s careful attention to every single detail about us. No wonder we despair when we encounter challenges, because we have subtly believed the lie that it is upon us to deliver ourselves from trials and difficulties. God’s attention to our thoughts, words, and going in and out isn’t merely for knowledge’s sake. It is active in that He works out every detail in our favour.

A few men may know some things about us. However, we all have felt the risk of being known and exposed for who we are, or being known and rejected. Thankfully, unlike man, God knows us, and in Christ, He also covers our shame. He adopts us into His family and makes us His own, so that we can live without the fear of rejection.

He is with us

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

If the Lord knows us this much, indeed, we can never hide from His presence. Again, this is both frightening and a source of solace. When we sin, our initial response is usually to hide, like Adam in Genesis 3. However, no place in the universe is beyond God’s reach. When we live in unrepentant sin, we become like Cain in Genesis 4, wishing to go away from God’s presence. However, we lie to ourselves because we can never hide from God. Cain’s hiding and walking away was an act of rebellion. He willfully and deliberately separated Himself from God and His order, from before the fall, where He walked and communed with Man.

On the other hand, it is comforting to know that no darkness that befalls us is too dark for God. Even the most bleak of circumstances are never beyond His control. Therefore, when we experience dark Providences, we can lean on Him and trust that though the clouds are dark, His mercies run deeper still. In that moment of darkness, He meets us there, and we don’t have to wade through the dark by ourselves.

On our worst days, whether afflicted by sin or engulfed within the darkness of this world, we are secure in God’s presence, and His Spirit is at work in us to accomplish His purposes. Instead of concealing our sin or despairing of hope, we can run to Him in repentance and place our weight on Him in trust. Indeed, even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me (Psalm 23:4).

He knew us and was with us from the beginning.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

The foreknowledge of God transcends the days we have lived on earth. Yeah, it transcends even our circumstances. God not only knows our lot in this life, but He also knew us before we even drew a breath.

Everything in us, down to the functions of our bodies, was created and is sustained by Him. We, therefore, cannot add a single hour of life by worrying (Matthew 6:27) because our knowledge is infinitely less in comparison to God’s knowledge about us.

Since the Lord ordained all our days, before we had lived any of them, we are secure in Him. We are firmly rooted in the truth that whatever our lot in this life, neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39). This knowledge should not cause us to live carelessly. Instead, we should be mindful in our actions, knowing that we will give an account to our Creator. On the days we fail, we are certain that Christ’s blood has atoned for our past, present, and future sins.

It gets even better. Not only did God ordain all our days before we drew a breath, but He also has ordained our future with Him. We are well known from eternity past to eternity future. God’s knowledge about our life after death is a comfort to those who believe in Him, but a terror to those who have rejected Him. To the believers, it is a firm security that since He has saved us, He will also bring us safely home. To the unbeliever, the word of God about future damnation is also true!

What to do?

Cast your cares upon the Lord. When the storms rage, preach to your heart to think of the One who knows you, is with you in the storm, knows you from the beginning to eternity, and has promised an eternity in rest, away from every tear, sorrow, burden, or grief.

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A few years ago, I got introduced to the concept of discipleship. I found it fascinating because the root of the term is derived from the twelve disciples of Jesus. I later came to understand that, just as Christ walked closely with the twelve, teaching them to obey, Christians are to walk closely with one another. In Matthew 28:19, Jesus commanded His disciples to go into the world and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey everything He had commanded them.

The Bible, especially the New Testament, is covered with many examples of the work of discipleship. Paul discipled Timothy and Titus. Priscilla and Aquila discipled Apollos (Acts 18:26). Barnabas walked with John Mark (Acts 15:36-41).

Furthermore, there are commands to disciple, although the term discipleship isn’t employed. Titus 2 is one example. Paul instructs Titus to teach the older and younger men, and the older women to teach the younger ones.

Context

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

The above instruction is sandwiched between Paul’s instruction to the older men, the younger men and slaves. In chapter one, Paul addresses some of the men in Crete who are disobedient. They claim to know God but deny Him by their actions. In contrast to chapter one, chapter two describes what Titus must do in order to be different from the Cretans. He gives instructions addressing the groups: older men, older and younger women, younger men, and slaves.

The immediate goal of the older women walking with younger women and teaching them what is good is so that no one maligns the Word of God (verse 5). The instruction to the younger women ends with the desired goal that those who oppose the believers in Crete will be ashamed and lack nothing negative to say about them (verse 8). When the slaves obey the instructions, they will make the teaching about God our Saviour attractive.

The instructions of Paul, when practised by the believers, therefore, are to serve as a witness to their faith.

Discipleship thrives in the local church.

Most of Paul’s letters are to churches or individuals involved in the work of church planting. There is much to glean from all his epistles about how we should do church. In Titus 1:5, he tells Titus that his work in Crete was to complete any unfinished business. This included appointing elders. It is safe to assume that every instruction that Paul gives to Titus is supposed to be executed in the context of the church.

Our verses of interest fall directly under the instruction of putting things in order. The women addressed are in a church, and the command to disciple one another is primarily to be obeyed in this context.

Discipleship is for the building up of the church.

The older women are instructed to teach the younger ones what is good. All teaching and training should aim at building up the body of Christ. Paul gives a direct instruction that older women should model good behaviour by avoiding slander and addictions.

Elsewhere, in Ephesians 4, Paul states that God provides the church with gifts that span the ages, for the sake of building her up. The gifts of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers are all given to the church to equip people for the works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up (Ephesians 4:11-13).

When women of a local church invest in one another, training each other to obey the Scriptures, deny ungodliness, serve their families and fellow church members, and attain to maturity, they are contributing to the greater work of building up the church. Women who are discipling one another are of great benefit to their church. They become faithful church members, better wives and mothers, and servants of the Lord eager to serve and be spent in His service.

It is also important to state that as women, our service to the body of Christ isn’t dependent on our attaining perfection. As we disciple one another, we should be actively serving. If we only wait to serve when we have grown more mature, we rob the church of the gifts that God has given her. Also, it is during our side-by-side labours in the church that we identify areas where we may be lacking in maturity, and seek help to grow.

Discipleship is for God’s glory, not raising followers of each other.

In my school days, those who were actively walking with an older Christian in discipleship had an air of superiority around them, and they often claimed to be disciples of ‘so and so’. Even worse, some ‘disciplers’ claimed a reign over their disciples’ lives and demanded unhealthy loyalty.

Discipleship is two people walking side by side, pointing each other to Christ. The goal should never be to resemble the discipler, but to look like Christ.

A benefit of discipling in the context of a local church is that there is a variety of women, in whom the Lord is working, and one can benefit from them in various ways. None of us has reached full maturity, yet. To one, the Lord has given a special measure of endurance in times of difficulties. To another, they have great wisdom and experience in parenting. To someone else, they model great qualities of a healthy home, with a husband who praises her, children well taken care of, and perhaps, a work-life balance that is imitable.

When we glean from such a wide variety of gifts, we avoid hailing one person and placing on them expectations, which only the perfect Man, Christ, can deliver. When one is walking with a woman who is less mature, there exists the temptation to want to shape them into their image. We don’t own each other. Our work is to simply offer each other support that may only span for a season, with a specific goal. We should offer this support joyfully and avoid the urge to demand unhealthy loyalty and dependence on each other.

The problem of the lack of an ‘older woman’.

The older women whom Paul addresses are to be known by their character, not simply their age. Undeniably, age and experience may come with wisdom. However, age, in itself, is not a reliable mark of maturity.

Paul lays emphasis on the character of the older women. They are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers, or slaves to much wine. Although they are not old in age, some women exhibit such maturity that they qualify for the title ‘older women’.

Therefore, we limit ourselves when we ignore the gifts given to us in our various contexts, when we only narrow our search for older women to age. Praise God, if we have women who embody both. However, if the Lord places us in a context without women who are both of godly character and advanced/experienced in years, we are not to despise the gifts already present.

As I mentioned earlier, the Lord is working in the hearts and lives of every believing woman. He is intricately weaving together every life experience, studying of the Word, and obedience for their good, that they may attain to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Therefore, we may always learn from each other by walking together.

Conclusion

Women, there is a task marked out for us. Shall we roll up our sleeves and get to work? If you need help as a mother, approach a woman whom you admire and would like to imitate in her mothering. If you are in a difficult season, look into your church for a woman whose endurance has produced character. Ask to meet her regularly for encouragement. If you spot a younger woman, zealous for the Lord but in need of training and maturity, approach her and ask if you could meet regularly to study God’s Word together. If a young mother in your church is struggling with her little ones, approach her and encourage her, reminding her of the grace availed to her this season of life. Let us help each other attain to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ!

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As the world continues to evolve, parents are increasingly considering education options for their children. There is pressure to choose what is best for our children, an education that will prepare them well for the dynamic world in which we live.

Christian parents have an even harder time, as they try to choose an education that not only prepares their children for the world but also trains their children in Christian values, preparing them for the next life. This is especially a challenge because education is becoming increasingly biased. We have seen situations, especially in the West, where worldly ideologies are slipped into the agenda and goal of education. On the other hand, parents do not want a simplistic option that merely helps children memorise the Bible without offering rigorous training of the mind.

Our mandate is clearly defined in the Scriptures, and we must be active participants in the education of our children, since it contributes to our faithfulness in the command in Deuteronomy 6:6-9, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

There is no neutral curriculum. The developers of a curriculum have a goal in mind and guiding principles that help them envision this goal. Some curricula are subtle in passing on the principles, while others are overt. Usually, it is easy for a Christian whose desire is to train their children in the right worldview to work with a subtle curriculum. For instance, the IGCSE or CBC curricula are not fundamentally Christian, but some Christian parents use them to their benefit.

Different education curricula embody different philosophies. In this article, I’ll attempt to discuss the basic principles to consider while choosing a curriculum or supplementing one that is not Christian. At the heart of this discussion lies the question of worldview. What worldview is propagated by a curriculum? When you answer this question, you have solved half the problem.

A rigorous Christian curriculum must have the right view of God, a Biblical view of man, and must be geared towards the right goals.

The right view of God

A good Christian education has to begin with God. He is the Creator of all things and the source of all truth. Human beings should live their lives in reverent worship of God. As the Westminster Catechism states, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.

A curriculum that merely approaches knowledge as something abstract with no source or reference is open to bending truth when convenient or accepting every other truth source that claims superiority.

We live in God’s world. There is only one reality/truth, and God alone knows it. Nevertheless, He has revealed much that can (and should) be studied and enjoyed. All truths, studied in various disciplines for ease of understanding (math, science, language, etc.), converge into one reality: knowledge of God. Paul, in Colossians 1:16-17, writes, “All things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”

The Biblical view of Man

Secondly, a good Christian education should have the right view of man. Human beings are created in God’s image. They are eternal souls whose value spans beyond the current life to eternal life. They are endowed with capabilities to help them apprehend and appreciate what is true, good, and beautiful.

A good education should help students learn and enjoy truth, and ultimately flourish as human beings. Students must also be trained in virtue so that they become beneficial additions to the coherent functioning of their communities and society.

Since a human being is a soul to be cultivated, an education that merely entertains and is filled with a frenzy of anxiety-induced activity is not helpful in the ultimate flourishing of a student. In addition, an education that only transmits information and ideas is inadequate in holistically training a child.

This principle may seem trivial, but it is reflected in the teachers’ attitude towards learners. Moreover, simple things like how the teachers prepare for class and arrange the learning environment show the value they attach to God’s image bearers under their care.

The true purpose of Education

Every curriculum has a goal. At the end of the acquisition of knowledge, there is an intended outcome for every individual who has been trained according to the curriculum.

For instance, according to the Kenya Institute of Curriculum Development, the national goals of education in Kenya are:

1. Foster nationalism, patriotism, and promote national unity

2. Promote social, economic, technological and industrial needs for national development.

3. Promote individual development and self-fulfilment.

4. Promote sound moral and religious values.

5. Promote social equity and responsibility.

6. Promote respect for and development of Kenya’s rich and varied cultures.

7. Promote international consciousness and foster positive attitudes towards other nations.

8. Promote positive attitudes towards good health and environmental protection.

In a world filled with pressure to succeed materially, education has also evolved into merely a means of acquiring good jobs, wealth, and status. A direct consequence of this view is that when education fails to achieve these, its value is disregarded. Since there are many unemployed educated people in our country, some people are beginning to suggest that education, especially higher education, is of no merit.

Parents who are intentional about the kind of education to give their children must evaluate the stated goals of the curriculum they use as well as the goals transmitted by teachers during the learning process, whether actively or passively.

One of the goals of a Christian education is faithfulness. The biblical definition of success is different from the world’s. Where the world views a successful person as one who has wealth and status, the bible shows us that a blessed person is one whose sins have been forgiven (Psalm 1) and is daily walking in the fear of the Lord. This person blooms wherever they are planted. Their motivation is the glory of God, and therefore, they walk in faithfulness whether they are businessmen, professional workers, tradesmen, or stay-at-home mothers.

Character development is also at the heart of a good education. It will profit no one to be materially successful and lack the ethics and morals to live well in their community, serving fellow mankind, or faithfully steward the resources in their hands.

Granted, we are not removed from the world and therefore, must cater for our daily material needs. Having a good education is a means of finding good employment and living a well-provided life. This is an immediate goal of education. However, the ultimate goal of education, which is human flourishing and God’s glory, should not be replaced with the immediate goal of providing for our lives.

One can summarise the desired outcome of education as wisdom. When we apply the knowledge we have acquired well, we exhibit wisdom.

Conclusion

Whatever curriculum you choose for your children, you must always be evaluating the worldview. Where the worldview does not align with a biblical one, as a parent, you must consistently work on realigning your child with the truth and filling in the gaps. I mention this because I’m not ignorant of the fact that we are not all able to choose a Christian curriculum due to the different variables in our lives.

The principles I have discussed will guide you in supporting your child on their education journey, regardless of the curriculum you select.

Eighteen days ago, we learnt of the demise of my brother-in-law. The Lord has been gracious to withhold the death of a close relation up to this point in my life. In the wake of our dear James’ death, I have learnt just how much I have lived in ignorance concerning the needs of those who are bereaved, and consequently, that I have been a poor comforter to the bereaved.

As we have become a complex and sensitive people, we are not always sure what to do or say when someone suffers loss. In this post, I’d like to share some of the ways our community has rallied around us and been a blessing, meeting our needs practically and profoundly.

Back in the Day

Previously, supporting the mourning was a role played by neighbours. In the village, when someone dies, word spreads quickly, and within no time, the homestead comes alive, preparing for the burial.

Many young people have moved from villages to the towns. This dynamic may pose a challenge when one is in need, because we no longer rely on neighbours. We have adopted an individualistic way of living in the towns, evident in the fact that when the hour of need strikes, our neighbours are not usually the first to respond.

Most of us will rely on friends we went to school with and have kept in contact with. Also, the church plays a great role. One of the benefits of belonging to a local church is that you get to serve people, and when you need it, people serve you. In our case, my church and my sister’s have been of utmost support.

In the city, our lives intersect in many ways. You may have friends from school or church going through a bereavement. Whichever the case, I want to share some practical ways in which you can be a blessing to such people within your community.

Presence

I cannot over-emphasise the impact of physically showing up when you learn of a demise. As we handled logistics that come with death, we were blessed by the presence of, especially, my sister’s church. The pastor was present to provide counsel, and some members to offer comfort.

At home, when we opened up our house for evening prayers, we were green about the process of arranging a burial. From the times we have attended ‘maombolezi’, we have seen tea and bread served, but never knew their source. We were anxious about providing tea and bread to the visitors because this would have been a deviation from our already stretched budget.

On the first day, people visited with enough milk and bread for the entire period of hosting ‘maombolezi’. In addition, a friend from church attended the first meeting and thoughtfully arranged the loaves according to their expiry dates, so that we knew which to use first.

At the memorial, I was so blessed to see my friends, some of whom didn’t even know James, but came because I, their friend, had lost a loved one. I saw friends whom I hadn’t seen or talked to for years. I was encouraged by how they went to great lengths to attend the memorial.

Over the days, people would come and sit in silence with us, pray for us, clean a few dishes in the sink, or chat away with my sister. All these were helpful ways that only physical presence enables. When you learn that someone has been bereaved, if possible, run there to be with them. Once you get there, you will know how to be of service.

On the funeral day, it was friends who cared for us. My daughter was well cared for by friends as the funeral proceeded. My husband’s friends were like soldiers behind him, offering help not only to him, but also to anyone who needed it at the graveside.

Baby-sitting

A family from my church stayed with my daughter all day, for two days as we ran errands and followed-up on things. This was of tremendous help. We dropped off our daughter in the mornings and we were assured that she would be fed, cared for, and do her naps while with them. She had such a great time and was shielded from the chaotic days that we were experiencing.

If a family is suffering loss, one way to help them is through offering to take away their children, as they sort out emotions and the plans that need to take place.

Meals

During the days when we were in the thick of coming to terms with the death, food was a distant thought. We had been stripped of the luxury to think about eating or cooking. It was a huge blessing when the women in my church came together and planned a meal train, where we would receive cooked meals every day for an entire week.

We were physically and emotionally exhausted, and it was easier to forgo meals than plan to cook. Also, the constant presence of visitors, which was greatly valued, meant that there was no time to cook. My mum, back in the village, also testifies to how her community blessed her on one afternoon, as she mourned, when she felt so tired and drained. Her friend visited and noted there was no food in the house, and she was struggling to make a meal. She called on a neighbour who had already made lunch, and she packed and delivered some to her.

If you are wondering how to support those who are grieving, consider delivering ready meals to them.

Finances

This is the most common way through which people support the bereaved in our culture, rightfully so. Many costs arise from a death. People may need to move around, buy certain things, and plan for the burial.

Since we are usually not going about life planning for the death of a loved one, at least not to the financial details, money can be a great need. If you can share some with a bereaved person, it goes a long way to alleviate various needs.

Contact

Every message and call by God’s people communicated care and concern. Though we were not always able to respond, we felt and knew that we had a multitude surrounding us. I especially valued people who sent messages to say that they were praying.

Which brings me to the last point…

Prayer

Knocking on the doors of heaven on behalf of the bereaved and bearing them up in prayer is perhaps the most spiritually impactful way to support someone who has just experienced a loss.

As our lives suddenly turned chaotic, with many questions on our minds and fear about an unknown future, we are grateful to have been surrounded by a praying community. When we lacked the perfect words to approach the throne of Mercy, and our thoughts were clouded with despair, so that we could not apply some of the truths we know about God, prayers of the saints upheld us.

On some good days, when grief isn’t at the forefront of our minds, we recognise the strength from above availed through lots of prayers sent our way. As we learn to live with this grief, we are learning to mumble and groan through prayer, entrusting ourselves to God.

Conclusion

Though the death of a loved one feels like a dark cloud that stays the night into the day, refusing to lift, the service of the saints is a great mercy, reminding us of God’s presence in the valley.

I am grateful that the Lord continually reveals to us His mercies through His people. This lightens the burden significantly. Different people, with the special graces given to them in their different seasons, have served us and given us a shoulder to lean on. We praise the Lord!

There have already been several articles about the new year, ranging from messages about resolutions to encouragement for the new year. I’m late to the party, but let me add my voice.

Who will thrive in 2026?

Turning a page to a new year comes with renewed hopes and dreams. It always feels like we are beginning a new blank chapter, with endless possibilities for the unfolding of the story. As mere mortals, unaware of what Providence holds in store for us, we are always hopeful. Hopeful that, if the previous year was laced with difficulties, we will receive happy Providences. Hopeful that the good tidings that came with the previous year will continue into the new year. Yet, we will never know with certainty what the twelve months ahead of us hold.

Nevertheless, there is a kind of person whom God says will thrive regardless of the seasons of life. My encouragement for the new year is to be this kind of person, who will not be shaken by any set of circumstances, but will bloom and bear fruit that endures.

The Blessed Man

Psalm 1:1-3

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
Whatever they do prospers.

I will begin by stating that the biblical definition of blessedness differs from what human beings think when they hear the term. Being blessed isn’t having health, wealth, and prosperity. While these are still gifts from God’s bounty, the lack or abundance of them isn’t indicative of true blessedness.

The Got Questions website aptly describes, “Blessed speaks of our inner state of well-being, the prosperity of our souls in Christ. Blessedness comes from unhindered fellowship with God the Father through our Lord Jesus. To be blessed is to experience the full impact of God’s presence in our lives now and for all eternity.”

According to the Psalm above, the blessed man’s behaviour isn’t similar to that of the wicked. He does not compete with them in their ways, so to speak. Neither does he take counsel from them and their ways. When the wicked scoff at the things of God or mock Him, the blessed man doesn’t imitate them. The wicked live in total disregard for God. They don’t acknowledge or fear Him. The blessed man has nothing to do with those who find no use for God.

Instead, this person’s joy and delight lie in obeying God’s law. He studies and meditates upon this law day and night. He is like a tree planted near the stream, benefitting from the waters whether the season is dry or wet. He bears fruit at the right time. He is not like the fig tree that Jesus cursed for lack of fruit (Matthew 21:18-19). He isn’t threatened, even in the dry season, because he has roots that reach out to absorb the waters of the stream. He never withers.

Envisage the year ahead and the circumstances around it as seasons. Some will be seasons of joy, gladness, and abundance. Others might be filled with grief, sorrow, or want. Furthermore, our lot in life may not change, even a bit. Will any of these experiences change us, driving us to forget God during abundance, despair of hope in God during difficulties, or remain indifferent to Him when our lot does not change? Or will we be like the man planted by the river?

Abiding, delighting, and obeying God and His Word

In John 15, the beloved disciple of Jesus records His words. Christ commanded His disciples to abide in Him that they may bear fruit. He further told them to remain in Him and ensure His Words remained in them. When they did this, they were sure to have their prayers answered. The man in Psalm one prospers by delighting and obeying God’s Word. The disciples’ prayers and desires are filled only when they abide in Christ and His Word.

My pastor echoed this principle in His sermon from Exodus 34 last Sunday. In the chapter, the Lord renews His commitment to the stiff-necked Israel after their disobedience by worshipping the golden calf. He promises them His presence to go with them. The condition and responsibility for the Israelites in this covenant is similar to the expectation of the blessed man in Psalm 1.

He tells them, “Obey the laws that I am giving you today. I will drive out the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, as you advance. Do not make any treaties with the people of the country into which you are going, because this could be a fatal trap for you. Instead, tear down their altars, destroy their sacred pillars, and cut down their symbols of the goddess Asherah.“Do not worship any other god, because I, the Lord, tolerate no rivals. Do not make any treaties with the people of the country, because when they worship their pagan gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you to join them, and you will be tempted to eat the food they offer to their gods. Your sons might marry those foreign women, who would lead them to be unfaithful to me and to worship their pagan gods. (Exodus 34: 11-16)”

In summary, for the Lord’s presence to go with the Israelites, they were to ensure that they were obeying His law. They were also to avoid taking counsel from the wicked, fellowshiping with mockers and scoffers, or standing in the way of sinners. Do you see the pattern and principle? Our success and prosperity as believers are assured when we are faithfully walking with the Lord, by reading and meditating on His Word and then obeying His commands.

In the year 2026, the only person assured of God’s guiding hand, His grace in every season, and bearing the right kind of fruit for the right season is the one who will delight in God and then obey His Word. When we seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, the rest of the things shall be added to us (Matthew 6:33).

Conclusion

God’s Word is sufficient for all life and practice. As we journey into the coming months, make it your delight. Whatever the Lord will allow in your life, whether good or bad, I pray that you will have hidden God’s Word in your heart and you will find joy, peace, hope, and comfort to prosper and thrive regardless of the seasons.

I know many people began Bible-reading plans. Push on and discipline yourself to faithfulness in reading. There is nowhere else we can turn to, and no one else to turn to. Only God and His Word!