Alexandra Popkova grew up in Russia, and she learned early on how places can impact and shape behavior when her parents moved from Vladivostok, in Russia’s Far East, to Saint Petersburg. It was a huge shift, even though it was within the same country. And that was only one of several moves she would go through in her life: she lived in India, Bahrain, and Nicaragua, and now she is based in Colombia.

Besides moving between countries, she also went through career transitions. While she was still at university studying Art History, Alexandra started working with AIESEC, the international youth and leadership organization, and eventually pivoted into coaching and organizational consulting, which is what she does now.

In this episode, we talk about culture shock, identity, intercultural relationships, the invisible mental load of starting over, and the challenge of adapting without feeling like you are betraying yourself. Alexandra shares many examples from her own journey, especially the cultural shocks she faced in Nicaragua, as well as her learnings and advice for navigating an intercultural relationship.

This is a thoughtful conversation about change, belonging, and learning how to grow without losing yourself along the way.

In this episode, we talk about

• Cultural adaptation without losing yourself — Alexandra talks about learning the “rules” of a new culture without feeling like she had to become someone else entirely.

• The hidden mental load of starting over abroad — how even simple things like running errands can be exhausting when everything is unfamiliar and in another language.

• How living across cultures changes the way you communicate, work, and build relationships — she explains how the same intention can look completely different depending on the culture.

Connect with Alexandra

• Website - alexandrapopkova.com

• Instagram - @empower_leaders

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

The differences between Russian behavior versus Latino behavior

“I feel it's not that we are distant and Latinos are warmer and more joyful. I feel the deep motivation is the same, but the way we show up, the behavior that's observable, is the opposite.

Like small talk. So in Russia generally, if I give you a call, I will just directly ask you, "Do you have two seconds? This is exactly the topic that I want to discuss with you.” Because I respect your time. So I would just go directly to the point, and I would be thankful and grateful that you took time to answer.

In Latin America, the way you show respect is the opposite behavior. I'd say, "Hi, Laura. How are you? How was your weekend trip?” And then like after 15 minutes of this conversation about the weather and nothing, I would go like, "Oh, by the way, the reason why I'm calling you is because I wanted to ask you this question."

The behavior the opposite, but the motivation is the same. I wanna be polite, I wanna be respectful. So if you don't know the context, and you're only judging from your own cultural lens, it's very easy to come up with your own conclusions that might have nothing to do with the reality.”

How she navigates cultural differences with her husband (he is from Nicaragua)

“I felt ultimately we were able to communicate. I feel when we talk about intercultural relationships, just the fact of that context already makes them stronger. So if you're still together, there's a second date, it means a lot, much more than comparing that to a relationship with the same time from when two people are from the same culture or country, just because it requires so much of your awareness and communication, 'cause you cannot assume things.

Basic things like how do you show up, when we go out together or when we meet family or the gender roles or any type of roles for that matter. There are no obvious things. Every single detail you need to ask, "Why? How is that for you? Is that like that for you in terms of that what you want in your life, or is it just a cultural aspect of it?"

And then asking the question, how do we want it together in our partnership, in our relationship, so we could create that new cultural realities that's not Nicaraguan, it's not Russian, but it's something unique. It's a blend of many things.”

The living abroad mental loading

“I feel like many people, when they move abroad, they really don't have that clarity of what it takes to do that. So let's say I'm really successful where I am right now. Obviously, I have my life, my routine building. I have my social circle. There are so many things that I don't think about that are simple and obvious. I know how to book a medical appointment. I know where to go to buy my favorite bread. There are things that just part of my reality, but I don't recognize them.

When you move abroad, something very important that many people just miss is that you cannot expect the same level of productivity and efficiency from yourself because it's not possible. The amount of effort and attention and mental load that it takes to do simple things in a new country.

It's 10:00 AM, you still have the rest of the day, but you are done. You feel exhausted. Because when you woke up, you ran out of coffee. Where do you go? The coffee that you bought, you didn't like the flavor. Then you need to open your email. Something is wrong with your internet, so now you either need to chat or call your internet provider and do it in a different language, or wait.

Simple things like that, that in your own country it's just something that you do, it takes so much from you in the new reality that you're done for the rest of the day, okay?

All your brain energy that was assigned for the whole day, you've already used it, and that's just a fact. It's not because you are weak or you could do better. It's a part of your new reality that you need to accept.

And once you accept it, then you could figure out, okay, how could I work with it? How could I support myself in that transition? What's really important right now? What could be left for later? I always invite people who are moving abroad to be a bit more kinder and more empathetic towards themselves, just understanding that this is a new reality, and they need the effort and attention and focus to be able to first understand it and then navigate it.”

The question that changed everything

 “When I was moving back (to Nicaragua), I was very worried that again, I wouldn't be able to fit in, I wouldn't be able to find a job. I didn't see myself there. It just felt so foreign to me in so many ways. And really the reason I made that decision was because I asked myself the question, what I would regret more? Going there and trying, because I had that motivation of seeing whether my relationship was something that I wanted to continue in my life or it was not worth it, and then I could move on.

And so what I would regret more, going and trying or deciding right now not to try at all? And my answer was obvious, and that was my motivation for that move.”

No matter how old a woman is, we all know there’s a fear around aging. Whether it’s because our society glorifies youth and looks, because of our biological clocks, or because we’re somehow supposed to have everything figured out within an impossible timeline.

Then there are those intrusive thoughts: “I’m too old to do XYZ” or “I’m running out of time for XYZ.”

For this new themed episode, I bring you three perspectives from women who completely changed their lives in their 40s and 50s. They come from different backgrounds and have very different journeys, but they all have something in common: the desire to do something different with their lives.

These are highlights from previous episodes — and if you’re interested in hearing their full stories, check out the complete episodes:

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Brittany Brooker grew up in a small town in Virginia, in the U.S., but from an early age, she was already dreaming about a life somewhere else through reading fairy tales. Although she stayed close to home for college, Brittany eventually had the opportunity to study abroad in Sweden — and something shifted.

When she got back to the States, she was determined to leave the country as soon as possible. So, at 21, after graduation, Brittany moved to Germany through the au pair program — and later on, she transitioned into her field, navigated visas, relationships, the pandemic, and built a life in Hamburg.

But after almost five years abroad, she made a decision that many people might misunderstand: she moved back to the U.S. Brittany then spent a few years in Los Angeles, reconnecting with creativity, career goals, and parts of herself that needed space. And then, it was time to move again, now with her husband. They both went through a decision-making process with specific criteria — and the path Brittany chose was through grad school. That’s how they landed in Ireland.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Why moving abroad is not always a straight line — and how Brittany pivoted from being an au pair to working in her field in Germany, and how her network as an au pair actually helped her.

• Why going back home doesn’t mean you failed — and how returning to the U.S. became a necessary pause and creative reset for Brittany.

• What it means to start over abroad in your 30s — from choosing grad school in Ireland to building a life abroad with a partner, more clarity, and more intention.

Connect with Brittany

• Check her Substack - Thriving Elsewhere |

• Instagram: @brittany.brooker

Thriving Elsewhere ✈︎

Read this if you're looking for permission, not perfection.

By Brittany Brooker

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how she realized she wanted to go back to the U.S.

 “I was really proud of where my life was in Hamburg, but I just said, ‘I'm not getting the other creative goals that I have.’ So when I was in LA I said, 'Okay, I just have this feeling. I forgot what this is I wanna write. I wanna do other things' and that itch not only isn't scratched in Hamburg, but I don't see the itch. Like, i don't feel it in my brain, and I feel it here. I miss that feeling.

And when I went back to Hamburg and I said "I'll apply for a couple of jobs." And I got an offer at a very large PR firm. When I got the offer, I felt this sense of relief.

I think that I was just exhausted. My relationship had taken a lot of emotional turmoil, and there's a lot of brain space that goes to bureaucracy when you're an immigrant. And I was at a point where I said, ‘Okay, I don't think that I wanna fully root myself, but I think I need to go and recharge.'

So I went and I lived in LA for nearly the same amount of time, which was great. But I also was reaffirmed in my decision to go abroad, 'cause I think for some people it's like a dream that they just wanna complete in a couple of years, and then go home and they just live life, and that's completely valid. That is an equally beautiful experience if that's what you want.”

On how she reframed that coming back to the U.S. was not a failure

“I think it's twofold. I think on one hand, yes, it's attached to the idea that you're giving something up, and therefore by putting it down, even if it's temporary, there's a"quit" to that that is hard to accept. especially because for many of us who embark on an immigrant experience, there is so much that people don't see that goes into that bureaucratically or research-wise and whatnot that we just don't talk about unless we're in our own forums and around peers that would understand, because they literally will make you feel out of the box if you say them to a native.

You have to want to be in wherever you're living often to stay. I know there are obviously exceptions to that and things, but for the most part, that's kinda how it operates.

But second, you can intellectualize that that's okay and that that's a valid thing, and, if I was talking to a friend, I would totally be like, "Oh, good for you."

But at the same time, sometimes just hearing that's not a failure because you redirected or because you took the next evolutionary step in what that process looks like, just hearing it plainly like that sometimes is just what you need instead of intellectualizing, even you know all those things.

Just hearing it in some kind of blatant form, I think can be really helpful, and I don't think we do that enough personally. I feel like we don't say the basic thing because it feels too basic to say. But it can also be just as helpful sometimes you need to hear that.”

The cultural shock when she moved back from Germany

“I kept saying that my brain was loud. And what I meant was, when I was in Germany, I got so used to being able to think in my own language and drown out all the German around me so that my language was the only one that I heard, but then I could switch it on when I wanted to pay attention to other people's conversation and practice German. And when I moved to Los Angeles, everyone was obviously speaking English. Everyone was obviously speaking loudly, 'cause we just naturally do. I just kept feeling like my brain, like I didn't feel like I could think in my own space. It was very bizarre. I can hear everyone around me, and frankly, I don't always want to. Like, it was kinda nice when I was in Germany when I was like, "Ooh, my brain is tired."

Her message to people who think they boat has sailed…

“Your boat is not someone else's boat, so your boat is ported wherever you are. And just because society thinks that your boat has sailed, whatever that means, you can still figure out a way to make that work. It might look different than you initially intended, like the country might be different, but you might find an adjacent one. Your job might be different. There's probably is a give that's a reality of being on an immigrant journey. But if that's worth, if, if that is worth it to you versus what you're getting, then that's exactly where your boat should go.”

A couple of weeks ago, I received a message from someone on Substack:

“I’m so happy I found your page. I’ve lived outside my country for just under a decade, and I find myself in need of a community that understands the things only we can understand. I’m wondering if you have any episodes from parents who are raising kids away from family. I looked through your posts, and I don’t think I see anything, so I just thought I’d ask.”

And I was really happy to realize that I had a couple of episodes to share with her. Whenever I speak to a mom, I always try to bring the theme into the conversation — and by sharing the episodes with this woman, I had the idea to put together a themed episode with some takes from women living abroad and their experiences raising children far away from their home countries.

I know there are tons of experiences of mothers abroad — and I’m sure these perspectives don’t cover everything — but I think they are a great starting point, and sometimes it’s all about knowing you are not alone and that you’ve got this.

So, for this themed episode of Transplants, I’m bringing together perspectives from three previous guests — Mary Vass, Asia Dawn, and Maria Sakr — to talk about motherhood away from home.

You can also check the full episodes with them:

And for the record, we've had other incredible guests who are mothers:

Adalia Aborisade moved abroad for the first time when her daughter was a teenager - and she shared some interesting takes on being a mother:

Aisha Ba was raised as a multicultural kid in Italy and she is now doing the same with her own kids, in South Korea:

Milena Berry moved to the US as a student and today she is a CEO - and she was able to build a career while being a mother because of the working from home philosophy - way before the pandemic:

Aneri Desai survived a toxic marriage and started - literally - from scratch and she shared the lessons she wants her daughter to learn:

Celia Alves moved from Portugal to Canada with her husband and two kids and they faced so many setbacks during her immigration journey - she talks about her kids adaptation and how she felt guilty during a period of time:

I could mention all the episodes I've recorded with moms, but this post would be too long. So, feel free to also check Kaila's, Olga's, Négar's, Tayo's, Florencia's, Lauren's, Saadia's, and Beatrice's episodes.

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

What if fear never goes away and, instead, you simply learn to bring it with you so you can take big steps and bet on yourself?

Well, that’s what María Gómez Otero has learned throughout her journey living abroad. And what a journey! María has lived in Germany, Australia, Barcelona, and now Bulgaria. But if you’ve pictured her as someone who has always been “brave,” you would be wrong.

In fact, her story starts with fear. As a child, she was terrified of anything unfamiliar — new people, new places, new situations. But when she was around 12, traveling with her family awakened a curiosity that changed the direction of her life.

Because of those trips, María decided to study Translation and Interpreting — and she saw that as a passport to travel and explore the world. Her first experience abroad was through an Erasmus exchange in Germany. Later, she went back to the country as an au pair. She would return to Germany for a third time — but she also spent a year in Australia. Eventually, she decided to try Barcelona for a while — an experience that surprised her. And finally, she moved to Bansko, Bulgaria.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• How her early experiences in Germany were important from both personal and professional perspectives. As an au pair, she realized she wanted to teach Spanish and change her career plans. Her third time in Germany — during the pandemic — also taught her how to be alone.

• How it felt to make a childhood dream come true when she finally traveled and worked in Australia for a year, inspired by the stories from her family.

• Why coming back to your home country is not a failure, and how she ended up in Bansko, Bulgaria.

Connect with María

• TRIBIA Online Spanish School

• Instagram: @maria.tribia.spanish

• Podcast: Tribia Spanish for Women — in Spanish, for women learning Spanish.

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On her experience living in Australia

“ The experience of living in Australia was... Like, thinking back, it could have been a disappointment 'cause I had been waiting for it for 13 years. But honestly, it, it wasn't. Like, it's still probably the best year of my life because of that feeling of literally texting with my friends and telling like, "I have no idea what is going to happen in my life in two weeks."

That was the feeling through the whole year. I had a job, but that job was finishing in in two weeks, and I couldn't find anything else. Or, like, I didn't know if I was going to travel or not. So all the time was this asolutely living in the moment. That, for me at that time, sounded perfect.

I always trusted, and that is one of the things that I learned the most, I always trusted that I was going to find a way to make it work. Like, either find something else, a new work, or find something else to do, but I trusted myself a lot in that way, that in two weeks things are gonna change, but I know that I'm gonna make it work.

The whole experience was really beautiful.”

On how she made peace with being back to Spain

 I had a summer break as a language assistant in Germany. So I had two or three months, and I had an offer to work in Barcelona as a Spanish teacher, and I was like, "Oh, okay, let's try." I had a couple of friends there. So I went and stayed with them.

But I really, really, really enjoyed living in Barcelona and it was a surprise 'cause, um, I didn't want to live in Spain. Like, I don't wanna go back to Spain. I just wanna be in Germany, in Australia, somewhere else. But I didn't want to go back to Spain.

So yeah, I, I really, really enjoyed my time there, had very nice colleagues, had a very nice school where I was working, and just the city itself, was for me like going back to the feeling of walking on the streets. I think I will always remember this. During my first couple of weeks walking on the streets and on a 20 minutes walk, I could hear, like, seven different languages in just a 20 minutes walk.

So that feeling of being again in a very international city, in a big city, and I think that's what made me decide to stay. It wasn't an easy decision. I was not supposed to be in a place where I know what's going on, I know the system, I know the places. No, I wanted be somewhere else. So the process was hard and I had some internal conversations of like, "Yeah, but you like this. You are enjoying this, so why not?”

On how she moved to Bansko

Back to when I was a kid, if I had told my mini me, "You're living in Bulgaria," I would be like, "What? No, that is impossible."

The reason why I'm here is that I was in Barcelona. I was 30, and I was sharing a flat, and I have been already sharing flats, and I was like, "I can't. I need my space. I wanna live by myself," But that in Barcelona is impossible.

And at the same time,I started teaching online. And literally, I spent weeks and weeks and weeks researching another place in Spain, somewhere else in Europe.

On a Tuesday at 1:00 AM, I looked online, like, place with nature, with international people that is within Europe. I think those were the criteria. And on a list of places, Bansko appear. I love nature, I love hiking, so I was like, "Okay, let's see." And I made the decision and the plan was coming for three months.

And that's what I did, but it's been two years now. I live next to a national park, like 20 minutes away from amazing hikes, and there is a big international community in here as well. It's a destination for digital nomads as well, so there is always a lot of things happening. It's got both the things that I want, like the activity, the creativity, the new people, but also nature and being surrounded by mountains.”

Her advice to women that are afraid to take a bold step

 “If there is something calling you, then go for it because it's probably going to be a good experience and the worst that can happen is that you go back to your life the way it was before. So go for it. Try it.

The other is that fear will always be there, and that is something I have learned. Even after so many changes, the fear is still there. It's not gonna go anywhere. But, I always say, now I have some company. I'm not alone, even though it's fear, but this is just a funny way of saying it.

Try to negotiate with it that: yeah, it's gonna be scary, things are going to be different, and there are gonna be changes. But we're capable of doing many more things than we think. So just trust yourself.”

Beatrice Kabutakapua was born in Italy to Congolese parents — her father moved there to study, a pattern that Beatrice would later repeat herself. She grew up surrounded by Congolese culture, and, for much of her life, she was asked to fit into boxes that never fully made sense: Italian or Congolese? Quiet or shy? Visible or hidden? Belonging here or there?

Eventually, Bea moved to the UK to study journalism. That led her to explore African migrant communities around the world through a documentary she produced — and also made her reflect on her own story when, during the production, someone asked her, “Why you?”

From journalism, Beatrice pivoted her skills and became a storytelling coach and speaker, and founded The Business Storytelling Centre.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up in Italy as the daughter of Congolese parents — and how family stories gave her a sense of roots, identity, and belonging.

• Her work helping leaders and entrepreneurs become more visible and clear without becoming someone they’re not.

• What immigrant women can do when they feel lost, out of place, or not confident — and how to use their story as an anchor instead of seeing it as a limitation.

Connect with Beatrice

• Instagram ⁠@bea.storytellingcoach⁠

• ⁠LinkedIn⁠

• ⁠Beatrice’s book⁠

• ⁠The Business Storyteller Centre⁠

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how she realized she didn't have to fit one box

“Every time somebody would ask me a question that didn't really sit right with me, it was almost like they were adding to my realization that actually I don't even have to answer the question, you know?

But it took me a long time to realize it, and every time it was like one plus one plus one plus one until I realized that. And since I was little, one of the things that I remember that, even as a child, I thought it was such a silly, weird question is that they would ask me, "So do you feel more Congolese or more Italian?" And I would be like, "Uh, that's a very odd question."

And I remember never being able to reply, and then people eventually would just lose the momentum of the question and then they didn't investigate it further. It almost felt like they wanted to polarize my identity, which now that I have all the knowledge that I have and all the lived experience that I have, I realize how silly it is.”

Her advice to immigrant women who are struggling with belonging

“The very first thing to do is to find a space or a moment or a place or a person or a community with whom they can pause. Because there are so many different inputs that we have all day , all the time, whether they're related to our identity, whether they're related to work, whether they're related to the fact that you are interacting with people who are from a different culture and background, so even the communication side of things, you need to rethink everything all the freaking time, and that's exhausting, and it's not sustainable.

And I know that people say, "Oh, but I don't have time to, to take a breath. I don't have time to pause." It doesn't need to be a one-week retreat somewhere . It can be those 30 minutes that you take early in the morning where no one is talking to you, no one is asking you anything. It can be a regular every-month meeting that you have with the same person. So I would say the very first thing is to find a safe space.

And then once you have found that, you can start asking yourself some questions. And the very first question will be, "Okay, why do I need to find the anchor of my story? Like, what's the goal here?" Because once you know why you're doing something, it's much easier to keep on doing it.”

 On what does being yourself mean when you are constantly adapting

“I remember that one of my biggest realization, doing this work on my story was that I was not shy because I grew up being confident, but very quiet, and I just didn't care about small talks. And I just didn't care about talking to people if I didn't like them. I didn't know it at the time, but it wasn't shyness. It was really I either didn't care or I didn't have the energy. But because from the outside people would see me being quiet, they would just assume that I was shy, so they would tell me that I was shy. And then, if people tell you something several times, especially when you're growing up, at some point you just absorb it, and you think that it's true.

And I remember once I read this book, Quiet, by Susan Cain, and it's a book about introversion, and the more I read one page and the second page, the more I could see myself, and I realized, "Oh, okay, I'm not shy," and also the evidence in my lived experience proved that.

But also, I'm an introvert, so I actually do need more time to recover when I'm meeting several people. So I will say the shorter answer to this is if you are trying to figure out who you are, it can be overwhelming to answer that question immediately, so you can start by thinking about who you're not and what other people are projecting on you that you actually don't think is part of who you are.”

On where she belongs

“The response that comes to mind is that I belong to myself. I belong to me. I don't know where that is in terms of geographical place, but I belong to the stories that I have, to the things that I want to achieve, to my voice. Unfortunately, we don't live in societies that make it easy for you to just be happy and be in peace with yourself.”

Settling down in the United States had never been part of the plan for Saadia Khan. She moved from Lahore, Pakistan, with her husband, who had been accepted to MIT. Recently graduated, young, and ready for an adventure, she saw the move as an opportunity to experience up close a place she had heard so many great stories about from her father.

But when they arrived, America pulled them in, as Saadia describes. Between visa constraints and an atmosphere weighted by fear, suspicion, and anti-Muslim sentiment in the post-9/11 era, she faced anxiety, disorientation, and microaggressions. In the midst of all that, Saadia and her husband decided to start their family — and that’s when they realized they would probably not go back to Pakistan.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Her first years as an immigrant, the impact of visa dependency, and what it felt like to have her career paused before it even had the chance to begin.

• How she switched from business to human rights — and how she eventually created her podcast, Immigrantly, which later became a media company. We also talk about how conversations with fellow immigrants helped Saadia understand her own identity more deeply.

• Belonging, identity, and the complicated process of claiming a country that does not always claim you back — and how her journey inspired her to create the app Belong On Your Own Terms.

Connect with Saadia

• Immigrantly podcasts

• Download Belong on Your Own Terms App

• Instagram @itssaadiak

• Listen to my episode on Saadia's podcast

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how she tolerated microaggressions

“I did tolerate more microaggressions in early 2000s than I would do now because I am more aware of who I am. I am more intentional about how I show up in America. I know America a lot more now. As far as looking back, there were many instances. I remember once I was at an ER, because I had this excruciating stomach pain, and the nurse, instead of tending to me, was more curious about whether I was forced to wear hijab in Pakistan, whether I was allowed to go to college in Pakistan. And here I am with a master's degree thinking, "Why the hell does she think this is a good time for her to ask me these questions?"

And so I can name so many other microaggressions,not just targeted at me, but my kids. I remember my daughter was in sixth grade and she was called Queen of Taliban by a classmate. Now imagine a girl who's born and raised here, goes to Pakistan very occasionally, has ties with Pakistan - but that's only part of her heritage. Her home, her country, her identity is fully tied to the US, and she was made to feel so bad. And I remember she came home, she was crying, and she didn't even know what that meant.

So yeah, I've seen those instances, I've experienced those instances, but now I feel like I have the vernacular, I have the understanding and the courage to speak up and speak out against them.

But I don't think anti-Muslim hysteria has gone. I think it has gotten worse, especially since Gaza. But I also believe there is a critical mass of Muslims who can speak up, speak out against it, who can name it, who can talk about it, and that's some- something that has changed over the last 20 years.”

 On how people see the Muslims

“I feel people expect the diaspora to become representatives of entire communities, countries, religions, ethnicities. That happens quite often in the US. So people do sometimes see me as representing 1.2 billion Muslims. There are 1.2 billion in this world, different ethnicities, nationalities, languages.

I don't know how to speak Arabic. I don't understand Arabic. I have no connection with Arabic, and people still expect me to know Arabic, right? So that's lack of knowledge and information. There is a lot of misinformation in mainstream media that fuels that kind of reductive understanding of different people.

But that part does not bother me as much because in my mind, I can really think of it as lack of knowledge, lack of education, ignorance in some part. What really bothers me is when the narrative becomes more about, oh, all Muslims are terrorists, or the religion itself is a violent religion. And to me, that's such a ignorant stance on what Muslim identity really entails.”

On how moving to the U.S. changed her entire career path

“I was just starting out in Pakistan. I was in my early 20s. This was something that my husband and I were doing together. And then all of a sudden, before you even take off, your career stalls. I did not have an established career in Pakistan. I was just starting out. So all of a sudden, when I come to the US, I am on F-2 visa, which is also a dependent visa. You're not allowed to work. And again, this is post-9/11 era. There were additional restrictions on visas, on what you could or couldn't do. So I could not even drive at the time. Imagine, I wasn't even allowed to drive. I could not get a driver's license or something. And it took so many years for me to find that footing.

I felt crushed. I was economically dependent on my husband. I really couldn't do much. The only path or the route I could have taken was to go to grad school early on. So I could have gone to grad school in 2004, 2005, but I couldn't even do that because I had an infant. I had a toddler later on. So for me, that became another difficult choice.

So it took so much effort, time, energy for me to find myself and to explore who I was and what I wanted. And when I went to Columbia, I think 10 years later, I was a different person.”

On her decision to have kids

“ I did not want to have kids. I was not interested in having kids early on. I thought I was too young to have kids. But at the time, I think it was just such an impulsive decision. And I do understand people say your brain is not fully developed until you're 26. I think my brain wasn't fully developed. So I made some decisions in my early 20s that probably are due to my brain not being fully developed.

But looking back, honestly, now I am a young mom to adult kids, which is its own form of, I guess, satisfaction. I get to enjoy things with them that I may not have enjoyed if I had them later or even in my late 20s, early 30s. Not to say that having kids later is wrong.

I think every woman should have a decision whenever she wants to have a kid or whenever, or not have kids at all. You know, that's such a personal decision. But looking back, I'm glad it happened, but honestly, I would not advise my daughters to do the same. I think 20s is just for exploration. It's finding yourself, traveling, working, spending time with your friends. Kids can come later or not.”

On what is belonging

“I think you cannot restrict humanity and people to borders and certain identities. Identity is such a fluid concept, right? I was just a Pakistani 20 years ago. Now I am Pakistani American, a Muslim living in the US. I don't know what identity I will hold in the next few years and how my identity will evolve into something else. It is so fluid. It's ever-changing.

Identity is also a mindset. As humans, we latch on to where we feel most comfortable, where we are made to feel that we belong, and we are given the dignity and the respect. So the most important thing to me is belonging is this feeling, a mindset of how unfortunately, at times, others, the society, the external environment makes you feel and how you feel yourself.

So there is this... If there is a disconnect between who you are and how you see yourself, how Laura sees herself, and how New York sees Laura, then there will be tension. But once those two identities are aligned, then you're comfortable, right? Then you belong. Then you feel like you belong. So to me, it is a great example of how you cannot restrict humanity and people to certain ethnicities, borders, countries, nationalities. Set them free and see where they land and why.”

In this solo episode, I’m sharing some recent experiences and reflections around the way we talk to ourselves — especially when we’re overthinking, doubting ourselves, or being much harsher on ourselves than we would ever be with someone we love.

I also talk about quitting, failure, and the fear of feeling embarrassed when something doesn’t go the way we hoped. Since self-discovery, confidence, courage, and life advice are recurring themes in my conversations with guests, I thought it would be interesting to bring those reflections into a solo episode.

This is a personal one — about learning to be kinder to yourself, reframing failure, and remembering that trying something that doesn’t work does not make you a failure.

Links/ References:

• ⁠Book - Let Your Mind Run⁠

• ⁠Book - Atomic Habits⁠

• ⁠Book in Portuguese - Vertigem⁠

• ⁠My Substack article

Life Cravings 💭

How a Runner's Memoir Made Me Question the Way I Talk to Myself

HEY! This email may cut off, so you can click on the title to read the full post…

Read more

3 months ago · 3 likes · Laura Peruchi

• Episodes mentioned: #38 & #41:

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On being my worst hater

“I was constantly just putting myself down or just saying bad things to myself, just not being my cheerleader, but just being the worst possible hater that someone can have. I started to really pay attention to, basically to the way that we talk to ourselves.

Because like, if you have a friend that is going through a bad time, you're gonna encourage her. You're gonna tell her that everything is gonna be okay. You're gonna help her. Same with your significant other. The same with your sibling, your mom, your dad, considering that you have a good relationship with these people. You're gonna be their cheerleader. You're not gonna let them say bad things about themselves. I've been trying to be that person to the people that I love, why I was not being that person for myself?"

My message to women

“ I guess, especially as women, we have this tendency of sometimes worry too much about what others are gonna think about us, and giving ourselves a hard time, and not giving ourselves enough credit, and just having these harsh conversations with ourselves.

So I'm not perfect, I'm trying my best to reframe all my negative thoughts into positive thoughts. It's a constant exercise. It's not easy. It's a habit, so you really have to put the effort, but I guarantee you that it changes your life. And I know it sounds cheesy but... it is true. You live with yourself 24/7, so you better have a good relationship with yourself. And would you rather live with someone that is toxic, negative, or someone that has, like, try to have another perspective towards everything, more like a kind conversation with yourself?"

On reframing quitting/failure

 “I was telling my husband: if I quit, I have this feeling of embarrassment. And he told me: "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Just deal with this as a project. This is not who you are. It's work. It's a job. It's a project that you are trying, and if it doesn't work, that's okay. I'm sure that you learned something, and you can use that for maybe another project in the future. I'm sure that you developed a lot of skills, and I'm sure that you are proud of the things that you've done with this podcast."

And I was like, “That's true." And that's a great way to frame it because in our society we are often defined by the things that we do, by our work, our, our careers, our professions, our degrees, that it's really hard to give up on something and not feel embarrassed. But I think he's right. You're not a failure. It's just a project that it didn't work.”

Urmi Hossain carries at least three identities as an immigrant woman: she introduces herself as Italian by birth, Bengali by blood, and Canadian by law. From that line alone, you can already imagine how much of her life has been shaped by living in between worlds.

Born and raised in a small town in Italy to Bangladeshi parents, Urmi grew up navigating a strict upbringing, different cultures — one at home and another outside — and expectations that didn’t always leave room for her to be fully herself.

Later, Urmi moved to Canada, where she found more diversity and the space to grow into her plural identity. She also built a career in finance, a male-dominated industry where she carved out her own path while continuing to explore identity, belonging, and women’s empowerment.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• What it means to grow up between cultures and constantly negotiate who you are and her experience back in Italy;

• How moving to Canada gave her space to grow and embrace her plural identity, even if the idea of “home” still feels more emotionally tied to Italy;

• Her journey as a woman in finance and the ways she learned to invest in herself, her confidence, and her future.

Connect with Urmi

• LinkedIn

• YouTube channel

• Podcast - Stories Beyond Borders

• Book — Discovering Your Identity, available on Amazon

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On having a feeling of a dual life

“I feel like I was living a dual life. I think when I was a kid, I wasn't too much aware. I would just observe things around me, and I was always being told certain things such as we don't take religion classes, we don't celebrate Christmas. I remember these things pretty vividly, but there wasn't so much understanding of why.

And then when I was older, I started to understand a little bit why they didn't want me to do a lot of these things, and there was this fear. They were always protecting me from this whitewash thing because they really wanted to keep their values.

And I feel I was a certain way when I was outside of home, and then I was a different way when I was at home. Outside I was very Italian. I would just hang out with Italian friends. And as I grew older, I think intentionally I did not have Bengali friends because I was always afraid that what they would snitch a secret or say something to my parents because I did something. I think I preferred hanging out with Italian friends because they would understand me better. I think I was able to open up myself better. But I was always very aware that I did not look like everyone else. It's not that they made me feel like I wasn't part of the group, it's just that I was just aware that I looked different."

On how she was self aware she was different

“In the whole school, I think it was me who was a daughter of immigrant parents, with two other girls. So I think I was very self-aware that, among this big group of people, I was different. And I think in a way, I didn't wanna stand out, and that's the feeling I went through.

I just didn't wanna feel like, oh, she's the daughter of the immigrant parents. And I went through a phase where I didn't like my eye color, for instance, 'cause I was like, "What's so special of my eye color?" So I would wear, like, green or blue contact lenses so that I would look like everyone else. I would look less Bengali, for instance, and I would straighten my hair so I did not have the typical curly or wavy Bengali hair.

I think I was really trying to be like everyone else, especially because I think I envied the Italian beauty. I just felt like they were... It was a natural beauty. They all had straight, silky hair. They all had different eye colors, and I think that was one thing that I envied because I feel like Bengali people they just look the same - but it was very stupid of me to think that back in the days.

Now I'm much more aware. I know what it means. I embrace every every single thing of me. But I just felt like there was nothing special about the Bengali, the Bengali beauty or Bengali community. So this is how I felt."

On the pressure of being a perfect role model

“There was so much pressure, and I just had to be perfect. I had to be a role model, and not just for my younger sister, but I think for every single kid in the community 'cause it was a small city, and I think every single parent would talk to their kids, "Oh, look at Urmi. She got good grades. Why don't you get the good grades, too?"

And I was like, "Oh my gosh, why are we doing this?". Now that I'm much older, to be honest, I think I learned that it's never gonna be enough. No matter what you do, you can achieve, like, you can get to the moon, and it's still not gonna be enough, and I think I learned about that, and I learned to put myself first in that case.

So all the achievements that I got, these are not things that people around me actually celebrated. Actually, half of the people do not even know the things that I achieved, and I did these things because I wanted to achieve them without really ticking boxes of what as needed for me to do based on what some Tajin community says about what woman should do in her life.

And sometimes I would get comments such as, "Oh, why are you doing this?" I realized that sometimes people really care more about the reputation and the reputation that you're building. I think there's a lot of emphasis on getting a good job, getting a good pay, making good money, but I realized that that's not what I wanted to do. Like, for me, my main goal has been to feel fulfilled and to do things that I really, really enjoy. So that's why I do a lot of things in relation to women leadership, women's empowerment, because they really do bring a lot more fulfillment, which may be necessarily are not what people consider to be a success, especially in the South Asian community. But I see it differently now, and I do things for my own achievement, not because I have to satisfy anyone's goals or dreams.”

 On how she has evolved by moving abroad

“I always say once you're a mover, you're always a mover. You just keep moving, and you're meant to be moving all the time. I think that's what makes us interesting, third culture kids, is that we are very adaptable. We embrace change very easily, and I think I didn't wanna live in a very conservative environment anymore, and I had to choose my own path. And of course, this is why I'm in Canada, and I feel like it just gave me a different perspective being in Canada.

Like, I really feel like you can be whoever you want to be, and I feel like I grew as a person while living in Canada. I got a lot of personal development, professional development, and I learned things that maybe I was not thaught about when I was living in Italy or living in the same household as my parents.

Like boundaries, for instance, we don't grow up learning about boundaries. It's okay to also get that own self-achievement, too. I think it's called self-actualization, which is very important. And I learned also about what it means to live in a collectivistic culture versus an individualistic culture. It was a very collectivistic culture, like, growing up in a South Asian household. Everything that you do, it has to be done all together. It's just like family, you know? And so I really had to unlearn so many things to learn new things and adapt myself. That's one thing that I, I feel like moving around and also being in Canada have really taught me.”

On how she started her career in finance

 “I did not even know what finance meant when I was growing up. I did not take any finance classes, finance was not taught at home. It was my dad handling everything because it was such a taboo topic. I was always so scared of asking allowances. It was just a scary topic. And then, in university, finance was actually my minor. But I was like, "I wanna change this. I need to get into a different major that will help me to get a lot more opportunities, job opportunities." So, let me try one finance course.

 Boom, I just fell in love with it, and I always say it was love at first sight. So, I get my first job through a career fair and so forth, and this is where the whole CFA thing comes in.I wanted continue studying, but I wanted to position myself in a way that would make me more marketable and recognizable. And this is why I went with the CFA program, which is one of the highly most recognized designations out there, and it's very difficult to pass all of the exams.

I just had a little bit of fear of not being able to pass the exams. But then I also saw all the success stories of people getting the designations, and I was like, "You know what? If they can do it, I can do it, too." And only then it came to realization of how male-dominated finance is. Only a small percentage of women are able to get the CFA designation.And that's when I realized I not only wanted to get my own self-achievement, but show other women they can do it too, they can also get a career in finance.”

On why she loves Montreal

 “I think what I loved the most about Montreal is the fact that I really got to meet people from different corners of the world. Like, in Italy, I only had Italian friends, you know? So there was only so much that I could relate to when it came to speaking different languages, eating different food at home, whereas here I met people from, let's say from Brazil, from Mexico, from different parts of Africa, from Asia. In that sense, I really felt like I was belonging to people that were a lot more similar to me from a cultural point of view, people that spoke different languages, had different cultural exposures, people that really understand simple things such as, ‘Where are you from?’ What do you answer? And I feel like that's a struggle that I went through, and I can see how other people who had that kind of experience still go through that. And so in that sense, I feel like I found my tribe here. That's how I feel.”

On how she builds self-confidence

 "To build self-confidence, you always have to think of the word self-investment. Like, you need to see yourself as an asset, and you have to invest the time and resources in you.

And one of the things that I've been working on it's really identifying my weakness or things that I can improve on so that I can build my confidence. I also believe in the power of small action. So I have read this book, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and it talks about how we can build habits by doing little things. It's just one small thing every day, and then that accumulates, and you see the big results. I've been doing a lot of these small things. So for instance, one thing that I do very actively right now is participate to social events where, let's say, it's Pilates and journaling event, or maybe, let's say, doing a workshop about latte art workshop. So I participate to a lot of these things because I think it helps me to get knowledge and also because I get a lot more confident by having the knowledge I have.

And of course, reading is something that will make women a lot more powerful. Like, reading personal development books, you get a little bit more confident because you have that tiny, more bit of knowledge that is in you right now, and you know how to take actions to that.”

Maria Sakr has always occupied that “in-between” place that a lot of transplants know so well. She was raised in Dubai by her Lebanese parents, surrounded by a Lebanese community, fascinated by books thanks to her mother, and introduced to the art of photography through her father, who documented the Lebanese Civil War with his own camera.

Then, when it was time to go to college, she experienced a return to her origins, moving to Lebanon to study film and starting her professional life while figuring out her next steps. That journey would eventually culminate in her moving to New York City to pursue a master’s in creative writing — another one of her creative passions.

The beginning in the Big Apple was definitely not easy, and when COVID hit, she reconnected with photography again. Maria started to build a portfolio and book gigs, and what started out of necessity became a career. Today, she is a multifaceted photographer, working on everything from weddings to celebrities — and even a Rolling Stone magazine cover.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up between cultures — how Maria was raised in Dubai by Lebanese parents, surrounded by Lebanese traditions, language, food, and community, while also being exposed to a very international environment.

• Building a creative life in New York — from moving to the city for a master’s in creative writing to reconnecting with photography during a difficult season, dealing with imposter syndrome, uncertainty, and the pressure of turning a passion into a career.

• Motherhood, ambition, and finding perspective — how becoming a mother changed Maria’s relationship with time, work, and success.

Connect with Maria

• Website

• Instagram @mariagryff

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how living abroad came as an obvious path to her

“It’s just what I've always known. I've always known that I wasn't living in my homeland or where my parents are originally from. And from the day I started gaining consciousness, I realized that my parents are doing their own thing in another country. And yeah, it's, it's just all I've ever known. And having been raised in Dubai when we were at the time, there was a lot of cultural importing from everywhere, like movies, they would host like a Middle East Comic Con, this Western culture that was just coming in, and I loved it. I enjoyed every minute of it. And again, of course, having seen something in a movie or a TV show and then it comes home to you, I wondered what it would be like if I went there. And so, just having known that this has been my reality, I felt like it was only natural that it was gonna be my journey as well, and it was just a matter of when.”

About moving to New York City

“It wasn't really a culture shock, more of like a lifestyle shock. Especially having come from the Arab world, we're very last-minute people. We don't plan too much in advance. We're very on the fly, on the go, very spontaneous, very last minute. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it's just how we were, and coming from a place like Beirut where even if I was like... Even if I was driving down just to have a solo drink, I know that I won't be solo because I, I would know a few people here and there. I would always run into a bunch of people I know. It's just like, it's this small.

And then coming to a place where it's hard to even be a regular, a regular at cafe or a restaurant because of how many people they see and how much turnover there is with staff. It just felt wow… it's hard to be someone here. It's hard to not necessarily be known in that sense, be a regular or run into somebody you know or...

I feel that first year feels like a whirlwind because you're trying to keep up and you're to preserve the things you love from home, but then you're also learning to let some of it go because you have to integrate, you have to move forward.

I feel like the average assimilation time in New York City is two to three years, and I think when that time span had passed I found a way to have that balance… I still wanna be the spontaneous self that I am, that I can't help. But at the same time, I am also have become a good planner and very empathetic to people having other plans in advance and stuff like that.

And then again, you do realize that New York is actually a pretty small place, and once you realize your community and where to go and the spaces that you frequent, you realize that no, you can definitely be a regular and you'll definitely run into people you know and love across the street and in places and in space. I think it's just a matter of, like, waiting for that big tornado of once you move to pass, and then sort of settling into the aftermath.”

On  how she holds all of her passions without feeling overwhelmed

“You just do the thing. Yes, sometimes I do feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it feels like I'm a jack of all trades. Sometimes I question: why don't I just focus on one thing and perfect it and just not have a little bit of everything? But at the same time, I think it's a personality thing. I'm just someone who loves constant stimulation and loves to dip her toes in a lot of things. I try to channel the overwhelm with, you know, ‘I'm trying something new’ and ‘I'm challenging myself’ and I talk and talk myself into things all the time. I try not to take it as being overwhelmed and just try to keep it at, as like it's all experience, it's all portfolio, it's all things to add and fill in my cup.”

On how she deals with comparison in a city like NYC

 “A lot of the times you're doing so well, and then you realize that ‘I'm booked for the weekend’, but then I tell myself, "Oh, but there's someone that is booked for the entire week." But then, that is something I saw online actually. I think it was on TikTok or something, and this girl, she was saying that not only comparison is the thief of joy, there's enough blessings to go around for everybody.

And so I think about that all the time, especially when you feel insecure or you're feeling frankly just a jealous almost. Because you also wanna work, and I love to remind myself that there's enough blessings to go around for everyone, and someone's success does not take away from mine. And I really, really love to think about that and remind myself that.

And at this point in my life, it just means I'm winning time with my child, time with my family, time with myself, and time with my books. So, I'm not very mad. But it takes, and experience and maturity, I feel, to reach that. When I was first starting out, of course, that thing would eat away at me, but I think at this point in life, it still fluctuates, but it's not as frequent as it used to be.”

Her advice for people pursuing a creative career

“It's gonna be so cliche, but it's truly just do the thing. Just do the thing. I was a big overthinker. I still overthink a lot of projects right now. There's a lot of things on hold just because I haven't had the audacity to go back to the blank page or to put my thoughts out there, be vulnerable, blah, blah, blah. And I guess I'm telling myself too, just do the thing. Just do the thing. You can't make something from nothing. Gotta start somewhere and some of my best projects and some of my most amazing experiences kind of presented themselves to me. It wasn't even me doing a big chunk of the work, it was just kind of attracted itself to me just because I took that first step of again, putting myself out there, showing my work, doing the thing, and yeah, it kind of all just happens.”

How becoming a mother change her relationship with ambition and creative work

Nothing has changed my perspective on career more than motherhood. Before I got pregnant, before I talk about motherhood, it was always like career first, and nothing's gonna stop me from being who I wanna be and doing what I wanna do.

But then, after I gave birth, I realized that even if I took 10 years off to raise a child, that is okay, and that is more than okay. Because I have met women and incredible women who own restaurants, who run businesses, who do their own thing, that took decades off to raise their kids, and once their kids were off to college, they were like, "Okay, it's my turn now," with no regrets.

And I think at the time I was either pregnant or we were seriously considering or something like that, and that had never left me. And so, after I gave birth, I was laid off from a corporate job, and so the freelance life presented itself to me, and I was like, ‘I'll take it, and I'll see what happens, and maybe this is a blessing.'

Again, I know a lot of women don't share that perspective, but I truly believe that if you wanna put your family first, even if it's just for a little while up until the child goes to full-time school or you're done having kids, there is no shame in that.

And if you decide not to, and you decide that, you know, 'I want to keep doing my thing, and I wanna do both,' more power to you. That is amazing.”

The duality of raising a kid in another country

“This is one of this few things that would make me want to consider to leave, because it's just wanting to raise your child not only around family, but around the culture and the language and the whole thing. But at the same time, and I think about this a lot, is this is also her country. She is from here. She was born here, she's raised here. She is from here. Her parents aren't from here, but she is from here.

So I also recognize that, and I want to do my best to give her that balance and kind of exactly what my parents did to kind of nurture her roots, but also give her a chance to discover her home and her country and give her a chance to form her own identity.

But of course, it's hard. And we see it especially when we go back home. Every time I go, I'm there for a month or two, and I realize how easy life would be, having this immediate support around. But at the same time, it makes me realize that we are doing a heck of a good job kind of doing it on our own, and it does make you savor all the moments more when you go back.”

Her overall advice

“I'm someone that is very nihilist, so I feel, at the core of everything, to me it's like nothing really matters. Like, okay, and you do the thing, and so you fail, and you pick back up and you go back again. That you get embarrassed a little bit. You get shot down. It sucks, but who cares? Doesn't matter.

You know, you're insecure, you're scared. I get that, but then you don't do the thing and you miss out. For me it, it is just do it. Like Nike says, the brand, "Just do it." They're right. They're onto something. They are… Just do the thing.”

While living in rural Massachusetts, Lauren Aloise would travel the world in her imagination by exploring travel magazines. Her trips to New York City to visit family were another opportunity to see how differently people could live. That curiosity led Lauren to do a summer program in Sicily, Italy, when she was 17. While many of her friends were spending their money on cars, she decided to spend hers learning Italian abroad.

Later, while trying to get a job in the hospitality industry during the Great Recession — not exactly an amazing time for the American economy — Lauren received an email about the “aux” program, an opportunity to live in Spain for a year and teach English. She decided to say yes and moved to Seville, where she met her husband while doing a language exchange. What was supposed to be one year eventually became a new life abroad.

Lauren quickly realized she was not cut out for the teaching world, so she decided to leverage her passion for food and explore different ideas. She created a blog, started hosting cooking classes at her place, and one day stumbled upon the idea of creating food tours. That’s how Devour Tours was born — a food tour company that later grew across Europe.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• How that trip to Sicily — which was, in some ways, disappointing — changed her perspective on the world. Lauren had seen that people could organize ordinary life around completely different assumptions.

• The events that led her to create Devour Tours — and how she leveraged her passion for food, had a good eye for opportunity, and later made the decision to sell the company and eventually leave.

• The identity shift that came with motherhood, her reflections on that transition, and how she is now thinking about her next steps.

Connect with Lauren

• Subscribe to Lauren's Substack - Project Recharge -

Project Recharge

What would you do with your energy if you stopped wasting it on the wrong things?

By Lauren Aloise

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how her first experience abroad has changed her

“The first thing I remember when I came back (from Sicily)… I was 17, and I remember coming back and just feeling like everything was so small and so claustrophobic, and the things that people were talking about, the cars or whatever they wanted to spend their money on, I just didn't care. And so I just felt different than my surroundings.

And feeling like that, I just kind of had nowhere to put what I was excited about or my learnings or the curiosity, and so it just led to a a year in between that period graduating and finally going off to college that just felt a bit suffocating.

And in retrospect, I think I had so much energy and curiosity that could've been harnessed in some way, and instead it was just buried. There wasn't a place to put it."

On how the experience in Italy was not 100% positive and still, she loved it

“What's interesting about Sicily is I didn't come back thinking "Wow, I've been to a place where everything was so much better. The air was cleaner, and the streets were more beautiful, and the people were nicer." It wasn't that.

In fact, it was quite in some ways the opposite. I didn't choose Sicily. I was hoping for something on mainland Italy. I was really disappointed because there, the local dialect or language, was mostly spoken, so I wasn't getting to practice the Italian that I'd spent so long studying and really trying to understand.

I remember thinking, "Oh, if I'm in Sicily, we're gonna see all the Sicilian sights, and I'm sure the family will bring me around and see things." And we didn't do much, which I later understood was quite normal, and I'm sure there was internet, but it was pre-computers, pre-smartphones, pre all these things. There was no one to talk to about it.

So I just remember feeling this deep sense of loneliness and disappointment, but also obviously, the positives, the moments of wow or the discoveries or the observations.

In spite of it not being this ideal experience, I came back knowing that people live very differently with very different ideas of normal, and they're living and they're having for them that's working. So it was very difficult to come back and see anything rigidly defined black or white, like you have to get a car when you're 17 or you have to do this, you have to go here or you have to go to college and study this thing. It just all seemed like that's not true.”

On how living abroad can be good for your creativity

 “I think being abroad and travel just puts you in such a different environment with such different situations that a lot of your natural, habits, your coding, your programming is broken, and that just lets the creativity out or lets other things in.

I think that it's not that it makes you creative and you weren't before, it's just it allows it to come out somehow. And for me, it definitely, traveling and living abroad has always forced me into the moment more than is my natural way if I'm in my normal environment.

So I think those things combined, it's just like the prime way for you to let your natural creativity start to come out, and to channel it.”

On how important is to have a moment to recharge

“The idea of having a moment to recharge is so important, and a recharge doesn't have to be something that is long. It doesn't have to be a resting period. It doesn't have to be a vacation. Recharge can be different things for different people on different days. It could be a walk. It could be a bath. It could be actually exercise, something difficult.

But when you get those moments, which I think a lot of people at this age, and especially women, just don't necessarily have built into their lives, you finally are able though, if you do, to have those moments of the creativity poking through... so you can realign with yourself, and you can rediscover your creativity and more intentionally go into what's next.

Because if you just keep going on autopilot, which I've done many times, you end up in a place that you're like, "Wow, that was a lot of work, a lot of time, a lot of effort, but is it where I wanna be?" And that's a hard thing to look back at."

On how having kids has shifted her identity

“I felt absolutely this shift of identity because I was so… like many people before kids, like you worry about yourself, and maybe you have a few other people in your life that are dependent on you in some way, but you do a lot of things on your own terms. And then the kids came, and that was no longer the case.

So I felt this big shift and a lot of grief. I grieved a lot of things. My pre-kids identity. I also grieved the fact that they were twins meant that I didn't get that idealized Instagram perfect motherhood moment, which I don't know if many people get that or if that's just on Instagram: holding that one baby and having them be with you all the time, that was not my experience. So there was a lot of grieving.

But then, I think also I came out of that and at this point with the travel stuff, I'm just trying to figure it out because I've seen all sorts of people. I've seen people who don't travel with kids, who only go to all-inclusives, who make everything about the kids. Then I also have role models who are the opposite. They are traveling the same as they did before kids, if the kids like it or not.

I'm just trying to figure out what my version of that is because I don't think I'm on one extreme or the other. Some people just say, "You just gotta bring 'em." But then when I bring them and they're having meltdown after meltdown and I'm like, "I'm not having fun."

So I think I'll wait till they're a little older before I do that again.”

Her advice to other women

 “I don't think I would've thought that I was being bold when I was younger. In hindsight, I'm like, "Oh my God, how did I do that? Would I do that again?"

So I mean, if you're young and unattached, just go for it 'cause there's never a better time. But if you're not and you are attached, I think what I'm really pushing and figuring out now is it's not like it's all over, right?

You can still be bold. You can still make decisions, maybe not the same ones you would've made when you were 20 and single. But you can certainly craft an intentional bold life. It just might take a little bit more, balancing different things, but that's where I'm at.

I think life is short. And I'm just really excited about the next chapter, and what it brings and I like the word bold. I don't usually use that word to describe myself, but I might take that from this conversation and hold it on my desk somewhere because it's a nice word to describe some of the decisions I've made and I think the decisions I'll keep making.”

Leah Alexander is an American artist based in Paris. But it took her a long time and some serious life decisions to the point she could call herself that. Art had been part of Leah’s life since she was a kid - but she never really knew that it could be a career, so she did what a lot of us do: she chose a “safe” path and, for 15 years, she built a successful career - and, during that, period that she never pick up a paint brush.

We can't say this career was bad though. At the end of the day, it was the reason why Leah ended up moving to Paris, France - the place she stills calls home and where everything started to shift. A series of events led her to question her life - she was burned out and signed up for an art retreat. And then, she realized life is short, so she quit her job to pursue art full time.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Leaving the “obvious” path behind - how art entered her life and then faded away, and how she explored different areas in her corporate journey.

• How she returned to a creative identity after 15 years away from painting - her experience in the art retreat and how that helped Leah reconnect with the artist she had put aside.

• The practicalities of being an artist these days - how she found community and how she monetizes her business, while she keeps betting on herself to make it work.

Connect with Leah

• Website ⁠

• Instagram ⁠@leahpaintsparis⁠

• TikTok ⁠@leahpaintsparis⁠

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how she decided to quit her job

“I started to have burnout at my job […] When we acquired a company based in Europe and one in Singapore as well, I moved over to help with the integration of that company, and that's when things started getting pretty difficult. I started feeling like I wasn't able to contribute as much to the company as I had been when I was based locally in the US. And it just, the connection wasn't there anymore. […] I just think I wasn't as in it anymore, and the demands on me were tremendous, and I just had to go.

And I called them crying, like, ‘I love you guys, but I have to go'. But the real tipping point, kind of comically, was when I had moved to Paris for the job, and it was for a co-working company, so it was in real estate. Suddenly, every real estate broker in Paris was adding me on LinkedIn, and I was just like, ‘I don't care about... This is not the community that I want to find my place in. Like, why do I have to be connected with all these people who are doing a job that I'm so disinterested in?’ And that's when something really clicked, and I was like, "If I don't do something more creative now, like, I'm gonna run out of time. Life is short.”

On how the art retreat changed her perspective

 “I think two things happened on the retreat that were really important. I hadn't even picked up a paintbrush in 15 years when I went on this retreat, where you're expected to paint every day. I was like, "Am I gonna get there and be able to do anything? I don't know." But I was kinda going through it at the time with work burnout and figuring out my life and everything, and I was like, ‘I just have to do it.’

And so the two things that I would say happened on the retreat that really gave me the direction to move forward, one was I rediscovered that I can do this, just from a skill perspective. I picked up a paintbrush. It came right back to me, uh, which I feel very grateful for. And I was like, ‘Okay, I can paint.’

And then the second thing that happened on the retreat was I met this amazing community of women, they were all pursuing art to various degrees, whether just as a hobby or professionally, or they were just dabbling in it, and they were all spending more time on art than I was. And I was like, if all of these people can figure it out from different walks of life, from different parts of the country, and some of them doing it just 'cause they love it, and some of them making real money off of it, like surely I can figure this out.

If not, if not now, when? And if they can do it, I can do it. And I just kept kind of repeating that to myself, and I was like, ‘Yeah, let's, let's go. Let's do this.’”

Her advice for a life with more creativity

“I think a lot of people, myself included, are intimidated by a big new project. We don't know how it's gonna turn out. You have to be okay with making mistakes, right? You have to be okay with taking a piece of furniture off the street, spending hours refinishing it, and then it looks like a pile of poo, and you're just being like, "All right, I'll put it back on the street because it's fine."

I mean, what did it cost you? It cost you your time and maybe some paint, and that time, what would you have done with it instead? Scrolled social media, right? It's so much better for us, and again, I need to take this recommendation as well, but it is so much better for us to spend our brain power on something creative than it is on consuming news, scrolling, uh, TV, all those things, which, I mean, obviously we're gonna do some of it.

I just read a study about the importance of entering a flow state on our brain health, and the easiest way to do that is painting, drawing, doing something like that where you're really just making... I describe painting as you're making a million little decisions every, every stroke you take. So your brain is consumed by it. It's quite tiring to paint because you're really just thinking with every step. So the more you can focus on that, the better.

And I think the more approachable way is sign up for a class. Like, for me, a retreat was life-changing, but it doesn't have to be on that level. There are online tutorials. There are in-person classes at libraries. I promise that everybody has an artistic bone in their body. It's just about finding the time, right? That's our biggest block."

How she keeps herself motivated

 “For me, it all comes back again to community. The advice is always, ‘You must keep going, because the people who keep going are the ones who succeed, and 99% of people quit where you're at, and that's why they're not doing it, and you will be.’ So that's what I have to tell myself all the time.

And the community aspect is huge. That's where I go for everything. Whenever I have self-doubt, whenever I need a new idea, whenever I just wanna bounce thoughts around, I have friends who are skilled at so many different things, and I know who to go to for what. I know who to go to if I just wanna vent and have the bitch fest. I know who to go to if I need real artistic knowledge and input and thoughtfulness around that.

And so, yeah, the affirmation of just remembering other people are doing it, why not me? And not stacking yourself up against those other people, that's the hardest part. There's nothing that they were born with that makes them different from what I was born with. We can all figure this out. Nobody was born with a certain set... Well, you know, there are certain skills I'm sure, but, for the most part, there's nothing that you can't figure out how to acquire. So if next door is doing it, you can do it too. It's just a matter of what you focus your energy on.”

Her POV on living abroad

 “I think that what makes you a new person when you move to a new city, especially to a new country, especially with a language barrier, is the grit you have to find in overcoming everything at every turn.

Whether it's figuring out the local, the language and the local customs around how to act in public, or it's literally the visa process, which can be a full-time job to figure out how to actually legally live somewhere, the tenacity of spirit that you have to have to do that, that I think is where you'll become a new person because you will become hardened to that side of life.

I moved here right when Emily in Paris was becoming super popular. My first two years here, I don't think I went a day without somebody saying to me, ‘Oh, just like Emily in Paris,’ about my life. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. I think those of us who are in it, it's just, it's harder than it looks.

That said, I see a lot of people dreaming about it who just need to kind of pull the cord, and I do think it's doable, so I don't want what I'm saying to dissuade anyone. I want it to encourage people to definitely find where their home is, where they feel most comfortable, and you know, where their people are.”

On being proud of her story + her advice

 “I think the part of my story that I'm most proud of is that I did it. I'm doing it. Moving abroad is a very scary thing, and I was very lucky to do it with the corporate backing, of working with a company. But now staying here and really pulling the rug out from under myself by saying, ‘Okay, I'm quitting that job and becoming an artist’ that was probably one of the boldest decisions I've made in my life.

So the fact that I'm sticking with it and that I'm not, as I said, I'm not giving up when other people keep going, I need to be in that conversation and keep going, or nothing's gonna happen. I don't wanna look back at a year and be like, ‘Oh, well, if I had just kept going, I would be so much further right now, but instead I stopped and now I'm back in the corporate grind.’ I do not wanna end up there, so I'm determined to keep going here. So that would be my advice for other women is you have to just keep going.

I think you have to get really attuned to identifying if you're having a plateau in success, if it's a talent-based plateau or if it's just a keep-going plateau. Figure it out, and then fix the talent part and keep going. I think that's it, is you just have to continue and find the consistent way of showing up.”

Jasmine Wu had never traveled outside Asia when she decided to take a gap year. She was not even planning to travel during that period - the idea was just chill. Until an invite from a friend to go to Disneyland changed everything. Jasmine ended up exploring different places in the U.S. and in Europe and that journey changed the way she saw the world and herself. Suddenly, the life she knew started to feel too small for the person she was becoming.

Today, Jasmine lives in Amsterdam, where she works as a technical product manager. In this episode, she shares how she moved from marketing into tech, navigated imposter syndrome in her new role abroad, and rebuilt her confidence while adapting to a new country, a new work culture, and a full-English professional environment.

We also talk about growing up in Taiwan, family expectations, learning to ask for help, finding community abroad, the beauty of small human connections, and why women deserve to want more — more freedom, more choices, more life — without feeling guilty about it.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Rebuilding your identity abroad - what changed when Jasmine left Taiwan, moved to Amsterdam, and started creating a life on her own terms.

• Confidence, work, and wanting more - navigating imposter syndrome in a new job environment, asking for help, and learning that women don’t need permission to dream bigger.

• The signs from the universe — from a spontaneous Disneyland trip to unexpected encounters and coincidences that made Amsterdam feel like part of Jasmine’s path.

Connect with Jasmine

• Substack Living Abroad Diaries

Living Abroad Diaries | Amsterdam

Sharing my learnings and experiences living abroad in Amsterdam :)

By Jasmine Wu

• Instagram @jasminewu.meee

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how her first trip outside Asia changed her perspective

"When I quit my job, I didn't plan to go on a gap year. I just wanted to chill and do nothing, just relax. And then after three month of doing nothing, I had this thought of wanting to go to Disneyland. But what is interesting is that after I had this idea, maybe two or three weeks after, my friend told me that they wanted to go to Disneyland in the United States. And then I was like "No way. I need to join."

So in two weeks I booked my flight tickets and then I started my one month of traveling in the United States and also Europe. And that was so eye-opening for me. Because before that trip, I'd never been out of Asia. So after that trip, I really learned a lot, that the world is so big. And after one month, I went back to Taiwan. I feel like some part of me has changed. And when you see the world is so big, it's really hard for you to feel like you wanted to only live a small world. So that's when I started to have idea of maybe I can try moving abroad and experience a different life.”

On the small moments she has experienced during her trip

“One thing I realized is how beautiful human connections can be. There was a time when I was drawing pictures in a park in a southern town in France. Suddenly, a girl passed by and then she approached me saying that, "I've seen you here for quite a while, and I wanted to come back to you because I wanted to say you're really beautiful." And I was so shocked because in Taiwan, that is not our culture to talk to strangers, and at that moment I feel like that girl didn't have any duty to tell me anything, but she decided to tell me in the end, and I felt like that connection was so beautiful, even if that is just for maybe a minute.

And then I went on to draw my pictures and enjoying my time in that little park. Suddenly, another person came to me, and then we started a small talk, and it developed into a very beautiful conversation. And I realize he was living in Amsterdam.

When I look back, I feel like that is a sign telling me maybe I had some connection with this city as well. And then I feel so beautiful looking back. That conversation maybe has sparked something in me about Amsterdam. And then after a few days, I went to Amsterdam, and I really loved the city, and now I'm living in my dream city. So I feel like when you look back, you can actually connecting a lot of things together.”

On how asking for help changed her perspective

 “I was living a new life and also I was at a position that is more technical than before. And I feel like in the meetings, I couldn't get what other people were talking about. Maybe it's because of the new domain knowledge or because it was full English. I've never done any job entirely in English before. I was feeling very stuck.

And then one day, while I was browsing LinkedIn, I found a Taiwanese living in London. She was also a product manager, so I reach out to her. I ask her a question, like, "How long did it take you for you to feel like you can be yourself at work?" And she told me, "At least two years, so you are too harsh on yourself."

That message was such a aha moment that I was actually literally too harsh on myself, because one year living abroad is really a baby. And why was I being so harsh on myself to achieve anything all at once?

So after that response, I slowly feel very relaxed. I gave more mercy to myself and be more compassionate with myself. And then when you're patient with yourself, actually your relationship with your surroundings was also changes at the same time.”

On her approach to life

“ I think my core philosophy of my entire life is just to have fun and play. And every morning when I wake up, I would just tell myself, ‘Hey, Jasmine, welcome to the world, and the only purpose that you're here on this earth is just to play and have fun and laugh.' With that mindset, I feel like there's no responsibility for me to impress anyone else, and I also feel more important for me to connect with other human beings without impressing them, but by being who I am.

For example, last week I was going to present in a big meeting, and in the past, I would feel very nervous about it. But then I told myself, ‘Hey, you're here to have fun. You're not here to, like, to impress other people.’ And then suddenly my emotions go from anxiety into excitement. And I was thinking to myself, "How can I make this fun? How can I do it in my own way?". After the presentation, everyone was telling me I did a great job, I did a great presentation. When you turn the focus from impressing other people to having fun, you feel like there is a whole new world for you.”

 On the choices she felt she didn't have before moving abroad

“You don't know what you don't know. And when I was in Taiwan, I didn't know that the world is so big, and I didn't know that there are so many different ways of working or living. So I feel like there are still a lot of things that I don't know, and I just wanted to keep curious about the world, and I feel like this is my identity as well. I'm a curious person, and I want to leverage that to the fullest. But I didn't know that before I went abroad, so I love it.”

Kay Fabella moved to Spain in 2010 with a one-way ticket, a student visa, and plans to stay for just one year. The main goal was to heal from burnout and reset her nervous system — but sixteen years later, she’s still there. And the story behind that decision is much deeper than finding her partner and falling in love with another country.

She shares what it was like growing up Filipina-American in Los Angeles, constantly navigating life between two cultures and hearing the question: “Where are you really from?”. We talk about graduating into the 2008 recession, burning out at a young age, being diagnosed with clinical depression, and realizing that the version of success she had been chasing in the U.S. was slowly destroying her.

Kay opens up about moving to Spain to heal, the pressure immigrants feel to constantly prove themselves, and how living abroad changed her nervous system, identity, and way of seeing the world. We also talk about how she explored different professional paths — and how every decision led her to create Edgewalkers Collective, where she works with globally mobile people navigating identity, belonging, burnout, and life between cultures, helping immigrants feel a little less alone in the process while she studies to become a counselor.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• The emotional weight behind the labels “expat” and “immigrant”- and how that is usually based on how your body is seem;

• The decisions that led Kay to move to Spain — and how she found ways to support herself abroad by exploring different paths, jobs, and possibilities

• How walking away from her inclusion consulting work led Kay to create Edgewalkers Collective and study to become a counselor.

Connect with Kay

• Book an Expat Orientation Conversation with Kay.

• Substack Edgewalkers Collective

• Connect on LinkedIn

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On growing up between cultures

“When you introduce yourself in the US, people are like, "Where are you from?". And then, they'll hear a little bit of an accent and they'll be like, "Where are you really from?". And I think that was kind of always a running thing for me even growing up.

I think when you come from the background of just being in two cultures, it automatically shapes the way that you see the world. I saw the world through two lenses, like my parents between them spoke one language, I would go out into the street and obviously I'd get the, "Where are you from? Where are you really from?".

I must have been about seven or eight, and I realized that that famous second question that a lot of us have, that grow up in a culture that's not considered ours or doesn't read as ours from how our bodies move through the world, you're always going to get it. So I had to make a decision whether I was going to clench my fists every time I heard the question or I was going to open my hands and share my story. If the question is here and it's gonna follow me the rest of my life, I might as well use it as an opportunity to meet people.”

On the immigrant versus expat discussion

“I think the words that we claim, they all are determined as much by our choices, much by our circumstances. And I realize that for some people, expat kind of has this connotation of there's implied choice, right? You got to ease your way through the, "Oh, you know, I'm an expat, so I get to lounge on the beach." I think expat kind of implies ease. And if I'm being honest, when I first moved here, I didn't really consider the implications of the word because I didn't really know too much about the histories of the words.

Now I would say I claim immigrant more. I think the tricky part is the words aren't neutral. It tells you a lot about what has been decided about you, it tells you whether you get to choose that label for yourself. I understand the contentions around it. Like me personally, I can float back and forth between the two depending on the room I'm in or depending on the audience that I'm speaking to or depending on how somebody wants to identify. I don't judge how you choose yourself either way, but I understand that those are words that carry a lot of weight in different contexts.”

On the immigrant hustle

“I tried so many things partially because I wanted to get out of the English teaching game. I was an aux. What I realized when I arrived in 2010, is there were sort of immigrant boxes for people. And for anybody who was a native English speaker, your box was English teaching. And I knew that if I didn't do something about that sooner rather than later and get proactive about how I looked at making my career here and building something for myself professionally, I could get stuck in that box.

Again, through my lived experience, I think that the US, at least when I was growing up, had established really well was the ability of like, you can start a business. You can freelance. We're not gonna make it hard for you. We don't wanna put anything in front of you. I would say maybe within Europe more broadly, it's very, ‘Here's your box.'"

On how living abroad changed her at her core 

“The version of myself that I had to let go of was this idea that plans are sacred. I think when you move through the world with that kind of other energy, you're always bracing a little bit. Oh, I gotta fight a little bit more to prove myself.

I can't plan beyond a month now. I don't plan that far ahead anymore. I still have ambition, I still have dreams, and I think that's important for anybody, even if you've chosen to live somewhere different.

But now I approach things like good, better, best. If I can get to this place somewhere in that range of ‘if this is what good looks like, this is what better looks like, this is what best looks like'. And as long as I'm somewhere in there, I'm fine. And even if I don't get there, that means I just have to move it back a little bit.”

Her analogy on what it feels to live abroad

 “I left the U.S. not knowing I was gonna be gone for a while. And a lot of my plugs were the two prongs. And then I moved to Spain, and I had to put adapters on everything, and that was kind of how I felt for the first two to five years when I realized, oh, I'm gonna build a home here. Everything felt a little bit awkward 'cause I was like, this doesn't quite plug in right.

Like, I'm maybe a few lines behind on the WhatsApp thread, and everybody's moved on, and I have something brilliant to say, and if only you knew how funny I was. I always felt like the outfit didn't quite fit, the adapter didn't quite fit or wouldn't plug in right. And then after five or six years, I started to notice that the plugs in the United States were changing. And so now, instead of two prongs, there's three, or there's USB ports, which are completely different. And that's how I feel now when I go back to the US and I'm like, I know everything feels similar, but it's also moved on without me, so it doesn't quite feel like me either.

I also need an adapter for my plugs going back. And I think that's such a beautiful way to summarize how anyone who chooses to be globally mobile or between cultures feels. It's like it's not as simple. It's not black and white. You can't just like plug back to your old device.”

I guess one of my favorite parts of doing this podcast is searching for guests. Usually, I do that online — Substack is my favorite platform for that — and I also rely on recommendations from friends and listeners. But with my guest today, the process was totally different.

I “discovered” Florencia Cariddi some months ago while attending a beautiful storytelling event hosted by New Women New Yorkers, an organization based in New York City that supports immigrant women. Florencia’s performance was so beautiful and inspiring that it even made me cry. So after the event, I decided to reach out to her and invite her to share her journey on the show. Luckily, she said yes.

Florencia is an Argentine artist, vocal coach, and public speaking facilitator whose story is really about what happens when immigration forces you to rebuild not just your life, but your identity.

In this episode, she shares how she left behind a career in Argentina, first moved to Spain, then to the U.S. — and how that first move was not how she had pictured it. Hint: speaking the language doesn’t always guarantee a smooth transition. We also talked about how she navigated motherhood and postpartum in a new country and a new culture, and the disorienting feeling of no longer recognizing the version of herself she had once been.

Florencia talked beautifully about what it means to lose your “speaking identity” in another language, why community became essential to her survival, and how art helped her turn fear into something useful. Besides sharing her story, she also offers valuable advice for immigrant women.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• What it feels like when immigration changes your sense of self - rebuilding your life abroad is also about rebuilding your identity.

• Why speaking a second language is about much more than vocabulary - the hidden confidence gap immigrants experience and the frustration of not feeling like yourself in another language.

• How motherhood, community, and how she went from “coward by default” to courage - how her artistic background became the tool that helped her find their voice again.

Connect with Florencia

• LinkedIn - Florencia Cariddi

• Florencia's Books on public speaking

• Youtube

• New Women New Yorkers

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

How the experience in Spain was tough - even though she speaks Spanish

 “I lived in Barcelona for a while. That was an interesting experience. I had people that I knew there and I went there thinking it was going to be awesome, that it was going to be the same than in Argentina, but just relocating.

It wasn't, actually. It was pretty tough. I believe that I didn't take in consideration how tough it can be to start from zero in a new place. I didn't take seriously the experience of migrating. I believe that I didn't take into consideration the culture factor. I thought, ‘Okay, in Spain they speak Spanish. I speak Spanish’. It's not that the dialect is too different. We can have a conversation and understand each other without any problem. And that was the only thing that I thought it was going to be a challenge for me.

I didn't take in consideration that things in another country work different, that the way that you search for a job is different, that the way that people can trust in you is different depending on the culture. So it was shocking for me to realize that, ‘oh, everything here is different, even if we speak the same language’."

On why she decided to leave Argentina

“I thought that I wasn't feeling comfortable being myself in Argentina anymore, and I thought that, okay, if you are an outsider in a foreign country, it is normal. It's the way it works because you are literally an outsider.

But feeling an outsider in your own country is something that can make you feel like it's something wrong with you. And I didn't think that was something wrong with me. I was just thinking that that place wasn't for me.

And of course, when you are an adult and you start to look for people who live life in the same ways than you, you build a bubble. But that is just what it is. It is a bubble. So to me, I wanted to see if it was something else in another place, something different.”

On the struggles of being a new mom in a new country

 “I was trapped in in my own mind. I was remembering over and over all the things that I did in the past, and I didn't recognize me. I just couldn't believe that I was the same person that once filled a theater or make people listen to her for two hours in a row.

And now I was in my house with a baby, unable to socialize because I didn't speak the language yet. I was having this feeling that it was not only the language, because I spoke some English at that time. It's not that I didn't knew anything, but the way that people interact, that was the thing that I couldn't catch. Everything was so different.

The things that in my country were considered a joke, here were offensive, or the things that in my country were considered offensive, here were normal. And all those transitions came all at once. And of course, at the beginning, I wasn't too mature about it. I just shut down, I needed time, and I needed a couple of more months, and I needed my son to grow a little bit, so he didn't need me too much anymore.

And after a couple of months and years, I feel that I could start to understand. And of course, joining another people who were going through the same that I was going, for me, that was the most important part. Building community was the thing that made me start to see things differently.”

Where moving abroad hit her harder

“Not being able of making jokes was the worst part of all. Because I was the funny one in Argentina, you know? I was the person who can make you smile even if you had a rough day. You know, I would use short sentences because I didn't want to develop too much. I was afraid that I was going to lose track in the middle, and that was the toughest part for me, not being able of being funny anymore.”

On how we can be more kind to ourselves when speaking a foreign language

“There's something in theater that it's called your speaking identity. It's the way that you feel about being seen or heard for someone else, and you feel through your experience.

For example, if you are the funny one in your family, maybe you are going to start conversation making a joke in a new place because you know that you're good at it because you had experience that proved that for you before.

The problem when you are an immigrant is that you have a page in blank. You don't have all your history with you. So you have to kind of start over, but without the courtesy of everyone else to accept your mistake because you're not a child anymore. So you're an adult.

And that is the first step that people need to understand. It is normal to feel that you are not able to be yourself because you are not gonna be able to be yourself. You are being someone else in a different language. Your speaking identity is different on every language that you speak. So what you have to do to start is to start to reveal yourself from the beginning. Like if you were a child again, you have to start with small moments when you take courage, when you expose yourself, maybe with someone that you trust, maybe with someone that is also speaking in a second language.”

Her advice on how you should talk to yourself

 “What happens especially for a woman, and especially if you were raised in Latin America, is that they teach us to shrink. They teach us to not being too much, to not, make too much noise, to don't take too much space, and that sticks in you.

We have an inner dialogue with ourselves that is not always too kind. And I think that it's really important to work both outside and inside. Inside thinking, "Okay, is the way that I'm talking to me useful?" Is the way that I'm talking to myself, it is useful? Does it help me to achieve what I want to achieve?

If the answer is no, then you need to make some changes because if the way that you're talking to yourself is your first enemy, then we have a problem. We have to find the side of you that likes you. We have to find the side of you that encourage you to do things, not the side of you that thinks that you should stay in your bed and no waking up ever because everything that you do is wrong. Because if you think about it, you will never tell that to another person, then why it's okay to say it to yourself? It's not fair.”

Moving abroad was supposed to be the beginning of Tayo Oriowo’s dream life. Instead, after leaving Nigeria for Australia at 21, she found herself navigating financial hardship, culture shock, survival jobs, and the pressure of trying to “make it” abroad while quietly struggling behind the scenes.

But, in her own words, she is not a quitter — and she wasn’t going to give up for lack of trying.

In this episode, Tayo shares the realities many immigrants experience but rarely talk about openly — from working in a chicken factory and cleaning food courts to rebuilding her confidence and eventually co-founding SyncSkills, a company helping immigrants transition into more fulfilling careers.

This episode has a lot of valuable advice for immigrants - especially related to self confidence.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Why moving abroad doesn’t automatically solve your problems — and the emotional shock that comes with realizing that

• The hidden confidence gap many immigrants experience and how environment shapes what people believe is possible for them.

• How Tayo went from survival mode to building a business focused on helping immigrants thrive professionally and personally.

Connect with Tayo

• Instagram ⁠@tayo.oloja⁠

• Sync Skills ⁠@syncskillsau⁠

• Sync Skills website

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how life abroad is often glamourized

 “The truth is life abroad is oftentimes super glamorized. It's almost like there is no hardship […] I would say people think life abroad would be super easy for several reasons. One, the movies. Second, the people abroad oftentimes, because they're also trying to protect themselves, they do not tell you what the truth is. So everyone's just pretending because now you've moved abroad, you're meant to be successful suddenly. You're meant to have it all together, so people are not very open about their struggles. You only see the shiny things on the internet. No one saw when I didn't have enough money in my bank account, when I had $4 in my bank account and I had done my grocery shopping and I had to return things.”

On why she didn't give up

 “I remember taking a trip to Nigeria in 2017 'cause one of my girls was getting married, and this was a year after I'd been in the country. And when I saw my parents, and they were like, "Oh my God, you've gone so lean."

And they felt bad themselves and felt maybe they had subjected me to suffering, and I couldn't really open up about all the struggles.

And in retrospect, I was like, "What's really shaping me not being able to open up all the struggles is because you're abroad, everything is supposed to work fine." Like, it's meant to be good. Life is suddenly meant to be good, and I was experiencing the opposite.

So a lot of people around me didn't really know the struggles. But also, I'm generally a happy person, I don't like to sit inside problems. I'm very, like, solution-oriented. If something was not working, well, what's the way out? Well, what's the next steps? Well, what are you supposed to do? So it's generally not in my DNA to sit inside of a problem. And I was like, "I'm not a quitter. I have to fight till the end." Even if I fail and I didn't succeed, let it be that I tried. So I didn't wanna fail for lack of trying. I wanna fail because I put everything and it just wasn't meant to be.”

On how immigrants should craft their futures

“ You are the average of the five people around you, right? So, if everyone around you is saying, ‘Hey, this is the direction that you have to go,’ then you believe them, sometimes which is not necessarily the case or which is not the truth, but you live life through their lens, and that's the mistake I see a lot of immigrants make. The person that picks you at the airport, especially as an immigrant, is going to quite literally kind of shape what your journey will look like within that one-to-five-year mark.

So I would say before you even delve into the whole migration journey, craft a future. Have it on paper what your goals are. So whatever people are saying, you will be able to filter through what's noise, what is correct, what you should take, and what you should bin. Because without that, if you don't have a direction, whatever I say or whatever people say, you're just gonna jump at it and with no questions asked.”

On why immigrants should inform themselves about what's possible

“ I work with a lot of immigrants when it comes to their career, and when it comes to helping them thrive in their career, jump back into a career that they actually feel like it's natural to them, it's one thing that I found: if you talk to 10 immigrants a day, they tell you, ‘Oh, I'm doing this because that's what most immigrants would do in the country,’ or, ‘I couldn't get into the career of my choice because there's just no opportunity for me or because everyone is saying it's impossible.'

There's emotional data and there's actually real data. So people speak from, ‘Oh, well, I've worked as a cleaner for 10 years.’ There's nothing bad working as a cleaner, by the way, or, ‘I've worked as a disability support worker’. There's absolutely nothing wrong with working in those jobs - if it aligns with your goals and values. That's what I would say to people, whatever you hold yourself against, stay true to it. Do not be another victim of the country or the system.”

On her mission to help immigrants to thrive

 “You need to recognize that you have a problem for you to get a solution. A lot of people don't recognize it. They don't recognize that they could be doing something different. I didn't either. I would just be happy that I was making money.

And don't get me wrong, I said to people: be happy, but don't be comfortable. You can always aspire to be more. If you ask yourself ‘My current career path, what's the progression for me? In another two years, would I still be sitting on the same salary mark? Can I aspire to go higher than that?’ And if it doesn't offer you, you owe yourself the right to get out of it and get into something that would offer you that, except, of course, you're comfortable there.

But I want people to at least know that that opportunity exists, 'cause I didn't, and it wasn't available to me at that point in time. There wasn't a lot of people in media talking about that. There was nothing on social media, and that's why I'm on social media as well. If one person would see my post and it would inspire them to understand that they could pursue something else as an immigrant, then I would have accomplished my mission".

On surround yourself with the right people

“As an immigrant, if you have a goal that you wanna achieve or you have a mission that you're working towards, you need to make sure you're surrounding yourself with individuals who are going on that path.

If you surround yourself with people who are doing something completely different, it's gonna be hard. But you could lean on the knowledge of people who are going on that path, either because they've done it before, you can learn from their mistakes, so you make fresh mistakes on your own, and you take those learnings.

Or you guys are learning and building and making that mistake together, but at least you're not working with someone going a different direction, and you're going a different direction.”

Samantha Nazareth was a gastroenterologist based in New York City, with a stable career, tons of media appearances, and a 10-year relationship. What else could she want when she had what many would call a perfect life?

Well, she wanted something else — or, at least, she didn’t want what she had anymore. So one day, she decided to leave and look for an answer.

What started as a six-week break in Puerto Rico turned into four years of living abroad, traveling across Europe, Southeast Asia, and beyond, and completely redefining what her life could look like.

In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to leave a stable, high-achieving life behind, plus the grief of losing a relationship, a parent, and a version of yourself.

We also dig into how she structured her career to fit this lifestyle, and how she allowed herself to explore other paths — paths that didn’t necessarily need to be connected to being a doctor.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• The events that led her to decide to take what she thought it would be a three-week break - and how it was disorienting not knowing what to do and how these life-changing decisions can take time to bring answers.

• Starting over in your 40s - including how she decided to learn how to swim and becoming a scuba diving instructor just for fun (and allowing herself to do that).

• Why she no longer feels the need to have everything planned - and how she structured her professional life to fit her new lifestyle.

Connect with Samantha

• You can subscribe to her Substack or follow her on Instagram @drsamnazareth

• Shop Samantha's book here!

Scoping

Doctor's field notes from the edges of comfort zones

By Samantha Nazareth

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

 On how losing her mom made her think about her future

“My mom had passed in 2021. You become this adult orphan. That's what it feels like when you don't have parents anymore, and it really makes you question your place in life because you're kind of next in line, right? Now it's all on you. There's nobody, there's no safety net anymore.

Also, something that happened to my mother is that she waited until retirement to do things that she wanted to do and she retired and then ended up in home hospice. So she actually never got to enjoy retirement and that's what she was working her whole life towards.

I think about that quite often; we do these things and we think we have time and maybe we don't.”

On leaving her practice

“The reasons that made me leave didn't come from a place of burnout. I felt very fulfilled with my career. I simply was at a point in my life where I was thinking about the next mountain. Like, what's the next thing for me to achieve?

Because I felt like I achieved what I wanted to in medicine, and there's a decision I had to make. I said, well, I can coast on competency. Like I, I can coast till till retirement. That's what happens. Mid-career, you pretty much are competent in what you're doing. So learning it's very minimal. Medicine is very conservative, so there's not much creativity. You have to really fall into line with the algorithms. And of course that's, that's okay because there's safety and risk and everything involved with treating, but it does limit your capacity to expand because you have to follow kind of the rules.

I love learning. I love being a student and I was looking, and at the very core of it, I was hoping to do something else. I have the capacity, I have, hopefully, more years left in me. I have the mind to learn. I have the mind to grow still. That's why I was thinking about something else. It was coming from a place of expansion. I wanted to expand. I wanted to grow more. And so the sun cost fallacy was very real, of course, because I spent all these years and money thinking, I actually thought back then that I would, as most doctors do, die on the operating table as they say. They don't retire. It's part of your identity to work forever.

But at a certain point, the decision I made as a teenager to attend medical school and do the eight year medical program at this point in my life, it changed. I said, okay, you know, let's see what else is there? Let's see what's next for me.”

On dating after her 10-year relationship

“My first relationship outside of the 10 year one was probably the hardest heartbreak that I've had. And I think because it's like candy. All of a sudden it's like, oh, this is what you could have now. I build up these fantasies and these expectations.

There was a part of me that was really thinking about what could be then, what actually was right in front of me. And of course, when those things don't match, there's suffering because I was clinging onto this specific outcome with this person, but I didn't see him for who he really was. I built all these stories in my mind.

And anybody who has been in a rebound relationship after a long relationship, they know that it's an intense one because all of a sudden all these feelings are much deeper and everything was much more intense. You feel so alive. I think that relationship really made me feel like, wow, this is what being alive feels like and this is what passion looks like again. So that's very intoxicating.”

Her message for women

“Everybody has different timeframes, but in order to process and be in this in-between, you need some solitude. You need some separation from routine, from the things that are automatic that we do every day to sit in thoughts as awful as they can be.

Because I know I've had some really just awful thoughts and they came up in silence. It's like, oh, I didn't even know that existed. But I had these thoughts about certain things.

And I said, okay, well, this needs to be examined, but how would I have ever been able to hear those thoughts if I didn't have some separation from my daily life? Because sometimes you go on autopilot. Maybe these thoughts that are subconscious, how do they even have a space to come up? I have no idea. But solitude means something different for everybody. It could be some time in nature. Whatever works for you. But I do think solitude is necessary to see a different perspective. You need some separation from what is familiar.”

What happens when a life looks good on paper… but doesn’t feel quite right?

In this episode, I talk to Mary Vass, an Australian who grew up in Perth, one of the most remote cities in the world. Although the place was a safe and comfortable bubble, early on, she knew she wanted more.

What really struck me about Mary’s story is that she has never been afraid of trying — and letting go. Along the way, Mary experimented with different paths. First, the corporate world, back in her home country — something she quickly realized was not for her. Then, she spent some time working in Canada and, after that, became a flight attendant in Abu Dhabi. She kept exploring different versions of life, never fully settling into just one.

She met her partner, and they both shared a love for travel. But COVID forced a pause. With two young kids and everything on hold, they made a decision: to leave Australia and move to Greece, her father’s home country — not with a perfect plan, but with a willingness to try.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• The beauty of allowing yourself to try — Mary’s story is not a straight line. She tried the corporate world, Canada, Abu Dhabi, and different versions of life before realizing that not every path is meant to be permanent.

• What it means to move abroad as a family — We talk about leaving Australia with two young kids, starting over in Greece, and how children can adapt faster than adults expect.

• Identity, belonging, and building a life abroad — Mary reflects on growing up multicultural, living in her father’s country, and the emotional reality of creating a home somewhere new.

Connect with Mary

• ⁠Website⁠

• ⁠Instagram @blue_white_dreamtours⁠

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

 On questioning the corporate life

“I moved to Melbourne and I was working in a bank and I thought, well, I'll just seek some more career opportunity and see where this can take me. And I could have stuck with that. But I think the moment where I thought this isn't for me is when I felt like I just got in that vacuum of that nine to five: work, go to the gym, come home. A lot of me loves that.

But something was missing. You just feel that deep rooted somewhere. When I had traveled to Europe before I moved to Melbourne, I had gone come to Greece. I'd really just seen this other life of like the European lifestyle, which still retains now. It's still the same, even though everything with technology and everything, and the world is changing.

I feel like somewhere like Greece and the Southern regions here still retain that lifestyle. It's just a different lifestyle I can't quite put my finger on until you've really experienced it. So I was missing that. Australia is beautiful, but it didn't quite fill that void that I wanted.

I thought there's something out there, I have to seek more. So I took my working visa and I moved abroad.”

 On not being afraid of changing

“I do get maybe bored easily, which could be a good and a bad thing for me in my personal life.

Like I might live in a place for a few years and I might say, you know what, this place isn't really for me, and I might even move. I've relocated a few times within Australia, I've never bought a property in Australia, I've always rented. It's only now until I've got to Greece and I've kind of cemented into something that's more longer term.

But all through my thirties and mid early thirties, I was very much like, let's just live here and we'll move to this house now because it's on the beach. And it's never really been a problem. It's been a great thing to be but it's not for everybody. 'cause you don't always have that sense of pure stability.

But then, on the flip side, there's a lot to be said for that because you have quite an exciting lifestyle and an exciting life and you try all different things. And I've tried many jobs in Australia when I went back. I'm happy with the decisions that I've made.”

On how kids changed her perspective about life

“Everything that goes with raising kids is just like nuts. You're just like, wow, this is completely different lifestyle, so you start to think outside of the box. You're thinking about your family, ways to implement it so you can leave a legacy. Everything you do from this point forward is showing up for them and showing them, being that role model that you wanna be, what kind of lifestyle you wanna give them and what kind of childhood you wanna give them.

So if something isn't as obtainable in a place and it's not feeling like you can give them as much as you could, it's kind of a no brainer. We couldn't give them it's type of upbringing that we would, even in Australia, as we can here, hands down.

So if you have the opportunity, I feel like you just gotta go with it.”

On her identity

“Identity is always growing and trying to be a better version of yourself, a best version of yourself, or as much as you can be, things that you may not have seen in yourself before. It opens you up to how you know you can, you can adapt.

Adaptability is a huge thing. I've learning more patience, learning to be adaptable, learning to take things day by day. In the past, I was just a really huge planner. I would like to know what was happening in this X amount of time.

I'm feeling now in myself as I get older and just this whole experience is like having to just give myself a little bit more leeway of not being so hard on myself. 'cause I'm really good with other people and being there for them, but it's just, all right, I need to work on myself and giving myself a bit more grace to be not so hard on myself. So that's the identity of me, not scrutinizing myself as much and learning to be in the moment, day to day.”

On the hardest part of moving abroad

“In Australia, I was just used to seeing people on a daily basis and smiling at them, my neighbor, the lady that works in the bakery, there's little things you just tend to take it for granted. Having that kind of camaraderie, that kind of stuff, is an everyday thing in a, in your country or in the country that you've lived in in a long period of time and you've immersed yourself.

And then when you come here and it's all fresh again, it's so you just have to start from scratch all over again. And that's what I wasn't really used to. I thought that I would just come in and it would be easy to integrate. Meet a group of people and maybe join a group, and that's been a lot harder than I thought.”

On how being an immigrant is harder than being an entrepreneur

“Even though being an entrepreneur is really hard work and it's discipline, and it's putting your foot forward, with everything you do, just always pushing, grinding, like I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do this today, and this is my goal, my dream for today or the next month. Or for me, it's like anything's possible. Entrepreneurship, anything is possible.

Whereas when you're an immigrant, some things are just the way they are and it's very hard to change those things. Things are not gonna be the same in anywhere you live and some systems are implemented in certain ways and you have to just change your perspective and the way that you approach it to, to just get through that, I suppose.”

On failing

 “I feel that, in anything they do, people say they don't wanna fail. But I think failure is only state of mind. So there's no such thing to me as a failure. For me is just learning process.

If the world tells you you've fallen right down, you could always pick yourself up again.

Think a lot of people that hinders them from actually going for it because they just really worried that they'll make a mistake and it will haunt them, or they'll just feel judged or they won't achieve wha they're setting out to achieve. But it's all a learning process. And as long as you have the right mindset for sure, and enough tenacity to really go for it, anything's possible. And learning to just be day by day more, a little bit more, and knowing that we don't know what the future  holds. So for me, I would rather try it and rather than live with regret for sure.”

Claudia Valdiviezo’s story doesn’t follow a straight line. She was born in Peru and moved to the U.S. when she was just 4 years old. When Claudia was 11, her parents made the decision to move back to Peru, and that’s when she really knew what adapting means and had to navigate identity in a way that goes far beyond speaking Spanish. Eventually, she thrived and, for a moment, she thought she would live in Peru forever.

But Claudia's journey living abroad got another chapter. Years later, she decided to leave again, as an adult, moved by a wish to walk away from a stable career path to pursue something completely different.

In this episode, Claudia shares what it felt like to return to a place that was supposed to be “home” — but didn’t quite feel like it and her decision to move to New York City by herself and the decision-making process behind her choice to rebuild a career from scratch.

🎙️ In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up between Peru and the U.S. and what's like to return to your home country after living abroad, plus why speaking the language isn’t enough to feel like you belong.

• How her personality (high-achieving, corporate-driven) almost pulled her back into the wrong path — and how she consciously chose a different direction.

• Moving to the U.S. and navigating the visa process and finding her place in a city like New York.

Connect with Claudia

• You can check her podcast Where We Land on Youtube and on Spotify.

• You can also follow Claudia on Instagram

Why the name Transplants?

I’ve always loved the meaning this word can have. To be a transplant is to carry one life while learning to live another.

Connect with Transplants:

• Follow on IG @transplants.pod

• Laura’s IG @laura_peruchi

• Follow on TikTok

• Questions, suggestions, or random thoughts you’d like to share? Or maybe you’d like to pitch yourself for the podcast or suggest a guest? Send me an email at laura@lauraperuchi.com.

Episode’s highlights

On how her parents kept Peruvian culture alive when they moved to the U.S.

 “And I think my parents did a really great job. They constantly reminded us that we are Peruvian, we are not from here (the U.S.). It was like we're in the United States, this is how things are done in the United States, so that's how we're going to do things for now. But this isn't how we do things in Peru.

In the United States, kids take their lunch to school, so we would take our little lunch to school, our little sack lunch, but my mom was like, that's not lunch. You're gonna come home after school and we're going to have lunch like we would in Peru with the entire family sitting down. And it's gonna be a big meal because lunch in Peru is a big important meal.

We knew that we were doing what Americans do because we're living in the US so we're gonna participate in the US way of life, but we're also just gonna do our thing because that's their way of life. It's not our way of life. And the Spanish, when we moved back at age 11, I was able to go to school in a Peruvian school.”

On the cultural shock when she got back to Peru

“Moving back was rough, because for me that was the first time where I felt like I am being taken away from an entire world, my city, my school, like my extracurricular activities, life as I know it, and taken to this other place that I don't know that well.

All I knew about Peru was like my beach house and my beach town and the five, six friends I had there. I didn't know Peru, and so when we moved back, I got a sense of what Peru was, which I appreciate because I think that's when I actually became Peruvian. Because from zero to four, how much of a Peruvian identity had I built?

When we moved back I was 11. At the time, it was rough. I had an accent. It was so bad. I didn't know I had an accent because my parents would like speak to me in Spanish and I would reply in English. I got to school, I started talking and people were like, why do you talk like you're not from Peru? 'cause you're from Peru. So why are you speaking like that?”

On how she learned how to be confident

“I think it's a process that happened throughout my entire life. I think each time got me a little closer to just staying true to what I wanted. So one I think is moving back to Peru when I was like a little kid and receiving so much negative feedback about who I was and how I was behaving and how I was being told that I wasn't Peruvian enough or that I was not American.

Receiving so much negative feedback about who you at such a young age really made me believe that like external opinions are no good. They're just not valid because most of the ones that I was hearing was wrong.

So from a very early age, I learned to discredit external opinions. It was really hard at the time, but I think it made me care so much less about anyone who wasn't me or my family members or people that knew me because the people that knew me weren't saying that.”

Her advice for people on the fence

 “First of all, it's your life, no one else's. So at the end of the day, you are the one that has to go to sleep and at night have regrets are not.

If you do the big move, what will those regrets look like? I always like to future think. If I move to New York and I hate New York, it turns out I hate writing. What would those nights look like for me? I would be laying in bed and what would I think to myself, as soon as this class is over, I'm moving back to Peru. And I'm like, okay.

And that would be the worst case scenario. If I stay in Peru and I never move to New York and I'm miserable , and I never write. I take another corporate job and I'm miserable. What would those nights be like? And I'd be laying in bed at night and I'd be like, I hate it.

And guess what? Well, if that's the case, then just, let's just go to New York now. That's an exercise I always like to do when I'm thinking about two different options or three different options. Just think about the worst case, especially if there's a fear of things going bad. Live out your fear of things going bad, like do it in your head, run it and compare it to the other scenario.”

-How are you feeling? - my sister asked me over the phone.

-I’m a mess - I answered, sobbing, finally letting my tears come, not completely free, because I was at the airport, surrounded by lots of people, and although I’m sure no one would care, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to cry. I didn’t want to make a scene.

From the moment I started the journey back - the long 3-hour drive to the airport with my dad for my first flight, leading to the brief connection in São Paulo to take me to my final destination, I was feeling restless.

I hugged my mom before hitting the road and we both could win an Oscar for pretending so well we were doing fine. Then, when my dad said goodbye at the security checkpoint, I heard a sigh, a gasp, that one when we are trying so fucking hard not to cry. He held up, but it was too late. When I scanned my ticket to go through the security checkpoint, I was already broken. And when the first plane landed and I got a notification of a message from my mom, I cried a little bit.

I was holding on to all these feelings when my sister called me. I guess all I needed at that time was someone to talk to, someone who would understand what I was going through. To be completely honest, after 12 years living abroad and counting, I was so confident I had passed this phase, the phase when it hurts to say goodbye and board a plane from the place you once called home to the place you call home now. In this case, it was me leaving Brazil after nearly three weeks to get back to New York City. I was so wrong and perhaps so arrogant to think I had everything under control.

Back in those days when I was a new immigrant, I was confident the whole ritual would get easier as the years passed. Nope. I must admit, though, there were some occasions better than others. But I was completely caught off guard this time by the melancholy before the departure and the urge to cry while hugging my parents. Writing about it is my attempt to make sense of all these feelings.

The last time I was in Brazil was exactly two years ago. Before that, the only time I had spent more than a year without a visit was during Covid, for obvious reasons. Life is funny. Some days you are just dragging yourself, but when it comes to months and years, it’s so easy to just let it go and postpone plans.

At that time, I also wrote about my experience. I remember mentioning I felt like I had two lives. Now, reflecting again about this “in-between” place that I started to occupy after moving abroad, I caught myself thinking that perhaps I don’t have two lives. Perhaps my life has two different dimensions.

Because two lives could mean I have two different and separate personalities, which is definitely not the case. I’m still the same person, with the same concerns, preferences, fears, attitudes, qualities, and flaws - but the outcome depends on the scenario.

Claiming two lives would also mean there’s no place for my two versions to merge, which is not true. What are we, if not a result of our life experiences? If 27 years of my life were spent in my home country, it’s kind of obvious it has contributed to forming some of my beliefs and my personality - and, of course, nothing is supposed to be forever, and that is perhaps the most fascinating thing about being a human being: the capacity to change and adapt and, most importantly, allowing yourself to change and adapt.

And although I could spend a lot of time talking about how moving to another country has been really transformative - and how I will never know how different my life would be if I had stayed in the same place - that’s not what made me reflect so much during my nearly three weeks in Brazil, a period that felt like a vacation, because I was really able to take some time off, but it always comes with such an emotional weight.

Getting back to the place you called home during your childhood, adolescence, and part of adulthood can trigger some interesting feelings. Lots of memories - good ones, but not all of them. After so many years - and therapy - there are a lot of things that you start to question once you have the right tools. Bullying, societal expectations, annoying behaviors from relatives. Things you don’t often think about when you have almost the whole American continent distancing you from it.

And yeah, I reflected a lot about that. But another feeling that came strong was grief. I’m not talking about grieving someone specifically, or a grief only related to death. I’m talking about a different kind of grief. The one that makes you realize lots of people and things and places now only exist in your memory.

And yes, I know that can be true for everyone, because life is cyclical and things change all the time - although, for a while, the feeling I had every time I visited Brazil was that life was still the same and I was the one who had changed. Both things can be true. And I dare to say that when you are close to that reality it doesn’t hit you hard, but once you leave and get back every other year, it’s impossible not to notice.

I mean, I followed the loss of some uncles and aunts from a distance during the previous years, the diseases and health conditions that have taken them slowly and painfully, but it really hit me when the remaining members of the family came for lunch for my dad’s birthday one day. The full house celebrations are just a memory from the past - and that’s where some of my grief came from.

“This is gonna be my last Christmas, so Christmas Day celebration is a non-negotiable” - these were the words from my 95-year-old grandma last December. I was not there for her allegedly last Christmas, but I went to visit her about two weeks ago during my period in Brazil. And when I left her house two weeks ago, knowing I wouldn’t go back before taking my plane back home, I couldn’t help but wonder if that had been the last time I would see her alive. Yes, during my previous visits I’ve always had that intrusive thought, but this time it hit me even harder. Can you anticipate grief or is that called fear?

There’s another kind of grief, the one when you realize that some places that witnessed important parts of your life don’t exist anymore. Like my best friend’s house, which is now a new development. That place kept so many memories from our adolescence. From studying together to getting ready for parties and crying because of stupid boys - ok, I don’t miss that part. And there’s also my parents’ old house and the street where I grew up that now look so different. The paint has another shade and most of the neighbors have moved.

And yes, I know it’s not like being around would prevent these things from happening. People change. Places evolve. Keeping things exactly as they are would prevent us from getting to know the other side. Other colors, other flavors, other human beings, other feelings, other ways to see the world. It just hits you harder when you leave and come back. It’s almost like those special effects in movies when you add a “10 years later” to the screen and suddenly everything is different.

And there are, of course, the people. The neighbor, the professor, the dentist, the hairstylist. Everybody is getting older. Your parents are getting older. Of course, to die, all you need is to be alive, and age is not always the determining factor, but when the wrinkles and the gray hair start to appear, life’s finitude rings your doorbell with more conviction. For years, I just got used to thinking that life back in that small town was slow, quiet, and never changed. And perhaps the way of living doesn’t change much, but time doesn’t forgive anyone.

So, yeah, being back in that place just keeps bringing these somewhat provocative thoughts and reflections all the time. That’s why I never feel it’s purely vacation time. It will always come with a bonus of memories and facts that sometimes you don’t want to deal with, but you are just forced to.

And all these things can be true, but they are not the things that made me sad to leave. To get things straight: I don’t feel any desire to get back to live in Brazil - and my husband shares that feeling as well. I don’t say this from some ungrateful point of view, nor arrogance. Kudos to my fellow Brazilian immigrants who made that decision - going back to your country can be as hard as leaving it and I totally respect that, and you never should say never, but today, in 2026, it is not something I nurture or envision.

When I texted a friend a day before my departure and shared my melancholy feelings with her, I guess her answer translated what I hadn’t realized:

“It’s that feeling of being home and not being home at the same time. And living that family life that you don’t usually get to experience…” Bingo.

I guess years and years calling a place home don’t go away that easily. Home is perhaps that comfort feeling you experience deep inside. You feel it in your bones. The smells, the colors, the flavors, the language, the people. Not random people - your people. The few people that are part of that small group of human beings you love so much that it hurts.

And I know the privilege of being able to say I have this. I’m not naive - family relationships can be really complicated (and my family is far from perfect), but I know I have something special. A place where I can be taken care of and also take care of others. A place where I can have joy just for being around these people and being myself. It’s about people. It’s about family. And it happens to currently occupy three physical spaces in the world: Brazil (where my parents and my brother are), France (where my sister is), and the U.S. (the place I call home with my husband and my dog).

My conclusion is that crying for leaving is not a sign I should get back to Brazil. It means I’m so fucking privileged. What a blessing to have a place to get back to where I have a partner I love and a life I built and a routine I enjoy. And what a blessing to also have another place to feel like no other place will make me feel and to be close to the people I spent most of my life with.

Perhaps home is where you find comfort. I find that in Brazil every time I go there because it’s where my parents are. It’s where I get to nurture my heart and my soul in unique ways. Perhaps it feels so special and intense because I don’t take for granted the time I spend with my loved ones. Perhaps my feelings wouldn’t be this strong if I were closer. Perhaps this is just me trying to make sense of the choices I’ve made. Perhaps I’m just trying to convince myself I’m not a hero and every choice has a downside and life it’s about dealing with that.

I guess I will never know.