Maison You is a curated platform connecting a community of wellness seekers with the world’s most transformative retreats and experiences, from medical longevity clinics to immersive wellness journeys and beyond. They work closely with a select circle of retreat partners and act as a trusted concierge for their clients, guiding them towards experiences that are authentic and life changing. Alongside their curation work, they host intimate events that bring their community together in person. Natalia and Stefanie are truly inspiring and have such a thoughtful vision for creating an intentional and beautiful community. You can find Maison You in Substack and in Instagram.

As part of the evening, they hosted a panel with an incredible lineup that included Dr. Nikita Grover from Lanserhof, Eva Alexandridis co-founder of 111SKIN, and Lucy Goff founder of LYMA Life.

These amazing women spend their lives studying longevity and shared their insights on the long game, wellness, and the small daily rituals that can have the greatest impact on how we feel and age.

The conversation covered cellular longevity, gene expression, clinical data, hormones, gut health, skin biology, and recovery: approaches backed by data and tailored to different needs. Exactly the level of insider insight we love.

Before we get into their longevity and wellness advice, I want to pause and reflect on what drew these amazing women to the work they do today.

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Sometimes, a life pivot opens the door to purpose

I’m always curious about how people find their purpose, or how it finds them! I recently wrote about the way life’s pivots, unexpected challenges, and even burnout can sometimes lead us towards a life that feels more aligned.

Each woman shared a fascinating story of how they came to do what they do know, and each deserves to be heard in her own words. For now, I just want to focus on the thread running through them:

A plot twist opened the door to something new

• A visit to a wellness retreat sparked a fascination with the field and eventually became a new professional home.

• A health challenge led an accomplished retail and marketing executive to reconsider her direction and reshape her life around a different set of priorities.

• A health scare after becoming a mother inspired years of research and, ultimately, the creation of one of the most innovative products in its category.

• After building a successful career in fashion, an experience of burnout prompted a leap into building her own company.

I find it fascinating when I meet women who are so grounded in their purpose, living more aligned lives and building careers around work they love. It turns out that this doesn’t just happen by chance. There is so much intention, work, decision making, and habit building behind what has brought them to where they are.

Life has also led them to moments that changed their perspective or priorities, and from there, a more aligned path emerged.

Coming back to yourself and prioritising self-care and self-love may be the best longevity hack

Near the end of the panel, they were asked a great question:

I expected a routine, a supplement, a product, a technology, something tangible.

What came back instead links to your relationship with yourself: be gentle with yourself, enjoy the journey, rest, and talk to yourself with more kindness. These things are not as minor or as easy as they might sound at first glance.

The long game, in practice

• On enjoyment: You can’t treat your health like another task on a list and expect it to work if you don’t believe in it. Enjoy the journey.

• On rest: The next point was about rest, not the leftover kind of rest you take once the to-do list is finished, nor the ten minutes at the end of a full day, but rest as a foundation. Even the best treatments, protocols, training, and nutrition can only do so much when the body isn’t well rested and regulated.

• On talking to yourself with kindness: In the small moments throughout the day when you’re with yourself, like when you apply your skincare, take the opportunity to say something kind to yourself every day. Don’t rush through it, ignore the moment, or use it to identify everything you want to fix about yourself. Say something kind.

• On spending time by yourself to recharge: Take time for yourself even when your schedule is full, even if an entire day of activities has already been planned, even when everyone expects you to join them, and even when saying no may disappoint someone. Your body needs time off to recharge.

On alignment and self-care

I write about these themes often here. First, that when the body feels safe, life blooms. Not when you’re performing, when you feel safe. And second, about the moment your life stops letting you keep going the way you have been. Most of the women I talk to describe burnout, looking back, as the start of something better. Not because the burnout itself was good, but because it forced a question that success tends to let you avoid: what if the life you built isn’t the one your body wants to keep living in?

I find it inspiring that women whose work is so deeply rooted in data and clinical proof came back to something so simple and human. After looking at all the science, their advice was ultimately about how we care for ourselves: care for yourself daily, speak to yourself with more patience than criticism, find enjoyment before you find the results, and build in the pause on purpose before your body forces one.

My Pick of Longevity Products and Experiences

Alright and now on to the actual products and experiences I loved, added to my wishlist and you can add to yours too:

• Lyma Laser a high end, clinic grade at home cold laser device that uses near-infrared light to target wrinkles, pigmentation, and skin elasticity across the face, neck, and body with almost immediate results. Inspired by the most advanced technology in longevity and anti-aging and trusted by so many celebrities and public figures who have major glow (think JLo, Shakira, Anne Hathaway, Gabby Bernstein, etc)

• Lanserholf one of the world’s leading longevity retreat destinations. I’ve added to my wishlist a 1-week retreat of personalized and bespoke experiences on preventative health, regeneration, and optimisation. Also heard it’s the most beautiful destination, and a pleasure for anyone with an eye for design, interiors, and an eye for details.

• Lyma Supplement I started taking it and immediately felt less stress and my sleep improved and I can feel my skin glowing more than ever. A world renowned nutraceuticals formula with eleven proven and patented ingredients. Targets all the foundations of longevity: Sleep, anxiety, focus, immunity, beauty.

• Celestial Black Diamond Eye Mask by 111Skin I tried it once and it quickly firms and tightens the look of my eyes making me look as if I slept 10 hours. Imagine using this on a regular basis! Specially for eye area which is one of the first to show signs of aging.

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Changing careers or leaving jobs, ending relationships, moving countries, walking away from stable corporate roles to build something of their own, facing health issues, rearranging what matters most.

They are waking up to the idea that they are burnt out, or dysregulated, or out of alignment.

In the middle of all this change, there is an enormous opportunity to pause, to reflect, to listen to yourself and understand what you actually want from your life, what you value, what you will no longer tolerate, and what you still have not given yourself permission to live.

And then to do something about it.

The opposite of burnout is alignment. Burnout is not just tiredness, it is the exhaustion of living a life that is out of alignment, out of regulation.

Most people who have been through it would not choose to go through it again (it’s extremely hard and demotivating!) But few would trade the more aligned life they built afterward.

Burnout tends to force the questions you have spent years avoiding.

Is this the right work for me?

Where am I giving my energy, and what is actually giving energy back to me

Does this relationship give me anything in return?

Why doesn’t success feel like enough?

Who am I still trying to prove something to?

Burnout showed me that I had drifted too far from myself, for too long. Changing that meant building a life that gave me energy back instead of taking it. I had to audit my life and say no to everything that was not aligned, the job, the city I lived in, my relationships, some friendships, my relationship with myself, to make room for what was actually mine.

What makes it difficult is that this does not happen overnight. Mine was a quiet burnout. It took more than six months to notice, six months to fully accept it, and another six to leave it behind. I stayed functional the entire time, at work, in my life, in my routine, which made it hard to even name it as a “real burnout”. Nothing about it looked dramatic from the outside.

What changed things was admitting it clearly, first to myself, without softening the truth to make it easier to hear. Once I could put words to it, I could act: rest, boundaries, difficult conversations, and finally taking action on things I had postponed. You cannot walk away from a place you refuse to admit you are standing in.

I see this pattern everywhere, in women in their thirties. Careers change, relationships and marriages end, people leave stable salaries to build something of their own. From the outside it can look sudden. From the inside, it almost never is.

Body, mind, and soul need space and alignment to function well. When one of the three is restricted or neglected for too long, dissatisfaction eventually arrives as a wake up call. That makes sense. It is life waking us up from wherever, and whoever, we should no longer be with, to make space for what actually belongs to us.

You owe yourself the full expression of who you are.

Every person is entirely unique. What drains you and what fills you with energy is not the same from woman to woman. Each of us needs different things to feel energised, vital, and aligned. The Energetic Blueprint is a way of understanding how you are wired and what actually works for you. It has become one of the clearest starting points I know for understanding what you need, instead of working against it.

The good news is everything waiting for you on the other side of burnout. A more aligned life, closer to your purpose. I will be sharing the tools to get there, right here, very soon. In the meantime, here’s a preview.

Love,

Ale

You can find me on Instagram here, check out my website here, and find the full list of Substack articles here.

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Many believe the only way to protect their wellbeing is to leave corporate. I’ve thought about it too.

What I’ve learned is that burnout isn’t always about the job itself. More often, it’s about the relationship we have with it.

When our identity becomes our job title or company. When work follows us into every evening and weekend. When we expect our career to provide purpose, friendships, fulfilment, excitement and validation all at once.

That’s a heavy burden for any job to carry. (Or for any area of your life for that matter).

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After fifteen years in corporate, across consulting and global leadership roles, I’ve realised that many of the biggest shifts I’ve had came from changing my relationship with work.

One of the biggest shifts in my own life has been learning to build a rich life and a career that exists alongside it.

A life with hobbies that bring me back to myself. Aligned friendships I genuinely enjoy. Weekends I look forward to. Great travel plans. Movement and exercise I enjoy. Quiet and slow mornings. Small rituals that remind me there’s a whole person beyond who I am at the office.

This has also made me better at my job.

The women I admire most are the ones who have learned to protect their energy, keep perspective, and remember that a successful career should support a beautiful life, not replace it.

Here are six ideas that have made the biggest difference for me.

1. Separate your identity from your corporate job.

Your job is something you do, not who you are.

When your identity becomes tied to your performance, every meeting, reaction, decision or piece of feedback feels personal.

Creating a little space between you and your role makes it much easier to stay grounded through both successes and setbacks.

2. Create boundaries between your workday and your personal life.

The workday has to end intentionally, whether that’s a walk, a workout, cooking dinner, reading a book or simply closing your laptop with intention.

I always set my work phone on do not disturb after closing my laptop and keep my evenings and weekends completely disconnected from work.

These transitions help me protect my mind space and avoid work spilling into other areas of life.

3. Build a life you’re excited to return to after work.

Some of the happiest years of my career have had very little to do with work itself. They were the years filled with travel, tennis, weekend plans, reading great books, creating, spending time with friends and family, and protecting my wellbeing.

In fact I try to book all these in my agenda before work not the other way around (e.g., I’ll book my vacations and my tennis classes in my calendar, before I book any work related commitments.) That way my personal time is protected and I always have things to look forward to.

The richer your life becomes outside work, the less pressure your career has to carry.

4. Don’t expect your career to meet every emotional need. It can be meaningful without being your entire purpose.

Work can be a major source of growth, it can challenge you, help you evolve and introduce you to great people.

But expecting it to provide purpose, excitement, community, identity and fulfilment every single day is asking a lot from one part of your life. And work will rarely be a good and consistent source for all of these.

So the sooner you emotionally detach, the better.

5. Protect your energy. Not everything deserves the same level of attention.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that high performance isn’t about giving 100% to everything and everyone at work.

Be strategic. It’s about knowing what truly matters and directing your energy there.

6. See your job as something that supports your life, not something that becomes your life.

This may be the biggest shift of all: Let your career support your life. Your career is an important part of your life. It can create opportunities, financial freedom, growth and impact, but it doesn’t have to become your whole life.

See your job as something that supports your life, not something that becomes your life.

For years, I believed the answer was finding the perfect job (spoiler: those don’t exist unless you build them for yourself).

Now I think the answer is building a beautiful life that your career gets to support.

Your ambition doesn’t have to disappear. It just no longer has to carry the weight of your entire happiness and wellbeing.

Which of these six shifts do you think could make the biggest difference for you?

Love,

Ale

Healf is one of the most interesting brands in the wellness space. Four years ago, when I arrived in London, it was a small family business selling supplements online. The founder would include a handwritten note with every order I made. Today, with millions of pounds in funding, it sits at the forefront of the global longevity and wellness movement.

Their annual London event puts the world’s most influential wellbeing leaders in the room. It brings together leading experts across longevity, nutrition, movement, sleep, mindset and holistic health. It’s a space for real conversations about what it actually means to live well.

The two sessions that stayed with me most were about the MIND pillar. Your mind, and more specifically, the way you see yourself and your life.

• Peter Crone is known as the Mind Architect, and has spent two decades understanding the subconscious beliefs that quietly limit celebrities, athletes and billionaires.

• David Ghiyam is one of the most respected voices in applied spirituality and personal growth.

Both agree that the quality of your life is determined not so much by your circumstances, but by the stories, beliefs and patterns running through your mind. That internal dialogue we have with ourselves every day.

And YOU are the only thing standing between your life right now, and the life you dream about.

I loved seeing how their ideas align with the frameworks of inner expansion, nervous system regulation and redefining success that I write about here, and with what I’ve experienced in my own life.

These are the five reflections that have stayed with me since Sunday.

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1. Your biggest struggle or stressor is your greatest teacher

Peter Crone said something early in his session:

“Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.”

The situations themselves are rarely the real problem. They’re simply illuminating old beliefs that are still shaping how we experience the present.

Peter’s invitation was to stop asking “why is this happening to me?” and start asking “what is this showing me?” That shift alone moves your attention from trying to control the outside world to understanding your inner one.

Things like the conversation you replay in your head, or the email or notification that makes you jump, or the person that really annoys you.

These triggers, the things that stress you, are information. They reveal where in your life you still feel you need to protect yourself or react.

My sister in law called me recently, stressed, because she was alone in Nice and Air France had cancelled her flight home. I told her: you have two options. You spend the next 24 hours stressed and arguing with the airline, or you relax, look at what this situation is teaching you, go back into Nice, eat something delicious, buy yourself something nice, and feel grateful this happened to you.

That’s where real freedom begins. And for those of us with sensitive, high-functioning nervous systems, it’s also where regulation becomes something far more interesting to get a hold of. It becomes a practice of internal dialogue and deep honesty with yourself, and of staying conscious that every situation and every thought is shaping your reality.

2. Success doesn’t heal the stories you believe about yourself. Inner work does.

Peter also named what he calls our “primal prisons”. The limiting beliefs many of us carry without noticing.

“I’m not enough. I’m not safe. I’m not loved. I’m not ready. I’m not going to be okay. I don’t deserve to rest.”

Listening to him, I thought of the high-achieving women I work with. Many of us build remarkable careers while carrying one of these beliefs beneath all of it.

No matter the salary, the title, the promotion, the travel, the beautiful home, the dream lifestyle, those achievements become the facade through which we prove we do deserve it, while the stories hide underneath rather than heal.

That’s why burnout can be so disorienting. By the world’s metrics, everything is working and you’re winning. And yet your nervous system never receives the message that you are enough, and that it’s finally safe to rest. Because the belief running underneath was never about the results. It was always about whether you deserved them.

No external achievement can answer that question. Only inner work can.

3. Your nervous system is listening to every single thought, sentence, and idea that comes to mind, all day long (and reacts accordingly). Start noticing.

One of the most practical ideas Peter shared came from a conversation with a CEO in the audience. She described the exhaustion of needing to project, plan and anticipate every possible scenario.

Peter asked her: “When you say ‘I need to do that’ how does that feel in your body?” She said it was exhausting. He offered alternatives: I choose to. I get to. I love doing this.

When we say: “I need to finish this.” “I have to get this right.” “Everything depends on me getting it right.” “It’s urgent, it has to happen now.”

These are not neutral sentences. They are signals sending demands to your nervous system all day, every day. And for ambitious women carrying real responsibility, “I need to” and “I have to” can silently become the background frequency of everything.

Pressure becomes urgency, and then we normalise that weight. Over time, the body stops distinguishing between something small on your to do list and an actual threat.

One important step toward maintaining capacity and regulation is changing the language running through your mind throughout the day.

4. Your life expands as your inner world expands

David Ghiyam introduced the idea that each person carries a specific correction they came to make in their life. The challenges we face are not random.

What I found interesting was how he framed the dimensions in which these challenges show up, and that it tends to be one area at a time.

We might have a successful career, a clear purpose, financial stability, but there’s a health issue. That’s where life is teaching the correction. Or we have a great job but financial stability feels elusive, or love doesn’t arrive. That’s where the reflection needs to happen, on why and what life is asking of us.

“The soul came to this world with a purpose. And there will always be at least one area, health, finances or love, that is being challenged. Not because life is cruel, but because the soul is still in the process of making its correction.”

Life has a way of presenting us with similar challenges until we develop a different way of meeting them. Different job, same type of manager. Different relationship, same dynamic. Different opportunity, the same fear.

Sometimes these experiences are developing qualities that success alone never could: Patience. Trust. Certainty. Self-worth. Not needing external validation to live your purpose.

I’m increasingly aware that the difficulties I’ve been through were forming the woman capable of living the life I have now. The external situation may not change immediately. But we change. And eventually our lives begin to reflect that change.

With time, and as your awareness expands, David mentioned, the lessons become faster. You won’t need 5 years to leave the non-aligned job or relationship you may need just 5 minutes to go through the challenge > reaction > decision > lesson > regulation cycle. This is the real measure of nervous system capacity.

5. Peace isn’t the absence of ambition.

Peter talks about mental freedom. David talks about certainty. Both point to regulation.

Peter said: “Peace is being okay with the way things are. And when you combine that with direction and commitment, you have real power.”

David said: “Certainty is your protection. You don’t need to know the outcome, but you need to maintain the certainty that this is happening for a reason.”

Both describe an inner state where your circumstances no longer determine your sense of safety. Where you can hold ambition without being exhausted by it. Where success is no longer built on urgency and your body no longer pays the cost of your achievements.

I think about this redefinition of success more and more. Not becoming less ambitious. Becoming someone whose nervous system has capacity.

For years I thought the next milestone would finally create the feeling of satisfaction I was looking for. When I got the next promotion. When I moved to the next city. When I met the love of my life.

Looking back, every meaningful shift happened in the opposite order. My inner world changed first, to be ready. Then my external reality simply reflected that change.

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Among the global experts in wellness and longevity, what stays with you isn’t the practical advice on hacks and supplements. It’s the reminders that everything starts within.

The most valuable reflection I had is: The future of wellness isn’t finding better hacks. It’s finally becoming the person you came here to be.

You can find me on Instagram here, check out my website here, and find the full list of Substack articles here.

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For years, I thought beauty was mostly external. And while I really love beautiful rituals and all things wellness, I’m now convinced that the women who seem to live a full life and age well are not just investing more in beauty. They’re producing more energy.

The kind of energy your cells use every second of every day to repair, regenerate, communicate and heal. The more I learn about metabolism, fascia, nervous system regulation and health, the more I believe that beauty is, fundamentally, a bioenergetic process.

Your face, skin, hair and body are of course a reflection of your physiology.

The Bioenergetics of Beauty

Bioenergetics is the science of how living organisms produce and use energy.

Every cell in your body relies on tiny structures called mitochondria to convert nutrients and oxygen into ATP, the energy currency that powers repair, collagen synthesis, detoxification, circulation, hormone production and tissue renewal.

When that energy production is robust, the body has resources available for regeneration. When it is compromised, the body prioritises survival.

And beauty is not the priority when your body is in survival mode.

This is why so many of the visible changes we associate with ageing (dullness, puffiness, loss of definition, thinning hair, flat skin) may actually reflect underlying shifts in metabolism, circulation, inflammation and stress rather than just the passage of time.

Aging is not just the accumulation of years, it is the progressive loss of cellular coherence.

The good news, is this means it’s totally addressable.

Instead of asking what cream should I buy next, we might start asking what is my body trying to tell me? Because beauty may not be something we manufacture, it may be something we reveal when the body finally has enough energy to thrive.

This perspective completely changed the way I approach beauty and the way I look at myself.

The 5 places your bioenergetics show up first

There are five specific places I believe your inner state becomes visible, even years before anything other signs arrive.

These are the areas I tend to check on myself. In the past, in periods of stress all of these have activated and literally really visibly announced to the world I was probably not in my best period of life (and my beauty was at an all time low). In periods of calm, regulation, alignment these are the areas where I feel most radiant (and usually where I get most compliments from my friends).

Now it’s impossible for me not to notice this is others, in fact within seconds of seeing someone I can quickly scan and assess how aligned and thriving this person (or on the other hand what a hard time they’re having). It’s like having a quick compass to tell you how humans are living their life.

1. Hair vitality

Hair is one of the first things the body deprioritises when resources become scarce. Your follicles are among the most metabolically demanding structures you have, they require a continuous, reliable supply of cellular energy to cycle through growth phases, synthesise keratin, and maintain pigment. When mitochondrial output drops, whether through chronic stress, thyroid underfunction, hormonal shifts or nutrient depletion, hair reflects it quickly. (You can easily test all of these in a blood exam I wrote about my experience here).

I’ve always found it fascinating that after burnout, illness or an intense emotional period, hair often changes. The body remembers everything.

Practically speaking: if you’re experiencing increased shedding or loss of vitality in your hair, it’s worth looking at iron, ferritin, thyroid function, stress load, and nervous system capacity (no, sorry but new shampoo will not help you).

2. Skin glow

There is a particular quality of glow that cannot be replicated with highlighter. You’ve probably seen it after a wonderful holiday, after falling in love, after deep rest or great sleep, or after finally coming out of a period of chronic stress. Scientifically, it comes down to circulation, collagen synthesis, balanced hormones, low systemic inflammation and efficient cellular repair.

When the nervous system feels safe, blood flow improves, facial muscles soften and the body directs resources toward regeneration rather than defence. The face quite literally receives more life. No wonder regulated women often look radiant, their bodies are no longer diverting every available resource toward survival.

Practically speaking: the most underrated glow protocol is nervous system regulation (not a new serum).

3. Facial definition and expression

One of the most interesting concepts I’ve encountered is that facial structure is far more dynamic than we realise. Hydration, inflammation, lymphatic flow, fascia tension and muscle tone all influence the way the face presents.Chronic stress tends to produce jaw clenching, neck tension and sluggish lymphatic drainage, which can result in puffiness, loss of definition and a heavier quality to the lower face.

From a deeper bioenergetic perspective, estrogen dominance drives soft tissue water retention and collagen breakdown, while declining cellular energy reduces the ATP required to maintain the fascial structure that holds lift in place. An undefined jawline is often metabolic and hormonal information made structural.

This is one reason I love myofascial release so much. Beauty is sometimes about releasing: releasing stored tension, the places the body has been bracing for years, and allowing the tissues to move freely again.

Practically speaking: gua sha, myofascial release and any practice that genuinely discharges the nervous system will do more for your facial definition over time (even more than most cosmetic procedures in my opinion).

4. Posture

Posture may be one of the most underrated beauty treatments available. Before anyone notices your skincare, they notice how you move through a room. The openness of your chest, the length in your posture, and the softness in your composure.

Good posture improves breathing mechanics, circulation, facial positioning and muscle balance. But beyond the biomechanics, posture also reflects state. Chronically activated nervous systems tend to curl inward and protect. A regulated nervous system is one where your posture expands, you stand tall, you take space, and you’re confident in yourself.

Fascia is the connective tissue that runs through every layer of your body, and because the fascia of the scalp, jaw and neck is continuous, chronic postural tension doesn’t stay in the shoulders. It travels and it shapes the body and face.

Practically speaking: daily movement, regular stretching, pilates or yoga, and breathwork. Trained acupuncturists can also do wonders to release your fascia. You will notice all of these in your posture, and your presence.

5. Magnetism

This is the one that science struggles to fully quantify but that almost everyone can feel. When someone captivates you. It’s coherence. It’s vitality. It’s a quality of presence that registers before you’ve exchanged a word.

Research into nervous system regulation, nonverbal communication and emotional regulation suggests that humans are constantly perceiving subtle physiological cues from one another, breathing patterns, facial expression, muscle tone, eye contact, and countless signals below the threshold of conscious awareness.

A regulated nervous system produces a quality of ease and openness that reads as magnetic.

A dysregulated one (even in an accomplished, beautiful, well-presented woman) produces a quality of tension or guardedness that contracts people around them rather than expanding them.

Perhaps what we call “energy” is simply the body expressing internal coherence. Perhaps beauty is less about symmetry than it is about aliveness and alignment.

A final thought

I think beauty is something to cultivate. The glow I’m after now is the one that comes after sleeping deeply, after nourishing myself well, after regulating my nervous system, after spending time in nature, and most importantly while feeling safe in my own life.

The glow that says: my body has enough energy not just to survive, but to create and expand. Vitality made visible.

This week, instead of asking yourself what you need to fix, try asking:

• what signs is my body/face/hair/skin giving me?

• where could my body/face/hair/skin use a little more care and energy?

Love,

Ale

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After +10 years of testing, trying, and spending quite a lot of time and resources on my own wellness journey, I’ve developed a fairly strong opinion on what deserves a place in my routine. Think of this as your guide to the practices that actually move the needle, ranked by real impact.

Two quick notions that inform my lens:

1. One, I’m a full time corporate woman, so wellness practices need to be realistic for an already busy agenda.

2. Second, I have a sensitive nervous system, so I’m open to trying new things, but only when the benefits outweigh the disruption. I introduce new routines one at a time, slowly and at low doses, and then notice if it feels good.

Good wellness is personal and should fit what works for you, not everyone else.

Something I’ve noticed about the wellness space is that so much of the content comes from women who have essentially made wellness their full time job. What I don’t see nearly enough of is the realistic version: what does this actually look like for a woman with a demanding corporate career, back to back meetings, and a routine that unfortunately doesn’t allow for a full morning routine? That’s the gap I want to fill here.

These are the practices I’ve kept, the ones that fit into a real life and still deliver results. So I’ve organised everything I’ve learned into three categories:

1. The Essentials: Non negotiable for every woman, no matter how busy

2. The Premium That Should Be Essential: Life changing and worth it

3. The Extras: Nice to have, fun to try, worth it if they fit your life

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1. The Essentials: Non Negotiable for Every Woman, No Matter How Busy

These are the ones I’d hold onto no matter what. They’re the foundation of everything else, and should work for everyone.

• Consistent quality deep sleep and REM sleep (my ideal is 8 hours of sleep daily including at least 2 in Deep and 2 in REM, I’ve shared more about my Oura Sleep Scores here)

• Daily movement you actually enjoy (at least 15 mins of pilates, yoga, stretch, strength)

• Real whole foods nourishment (and zero processed foods) and enough protein

• Hydration with minerals, not just water, add high quality electrolytes or natural equivalent

• Morning sunlight exposure

• Close community, friends, and family and active social life

• Optimal vitamin and mineral levels (I talked about what biomarkers teach you about aging well here)

Everything else you do for your well being is undermined if all of the above are not in place. Your skin, hair, hormones, energy and focus will all reflect it.

2. The Premium That Should Be Essential: Life Changing and Worth It

These are the things I once considered luxuries and now consider non negotiable. I’d genuinely rather spend less elsewhere and protect these. Investing in these for me is more important than any other categories like travel, clothes, and extras.

• Stress reduction. This is the most underrated anti aging practice. It’s all about building parasympathetic breaks into every single day: a morning prayer or meditation, a nature walk, midday breathwork, and an evening wind down, and boundaries throughout the day. Making sure you’re bringing the nervous system back to baseline. When not addressed, high levels of cortisol, our primary stress hormone, are one of the fastest drivers of biological ageing in women. Chronic cortisol accelerates cellular ageing, disrupts hormones, increases inflammation, and shows up directly on your face and in your body composition.

• Lymphatic drainage massage. I started doing them monthly 8 years ago and I have not looked back. The immediate effects are visible: the tension stored in your body melts, your face and body depuffs, your look more defined. And the deeper benefit is systemic. Regular lymphatic work supports detoxification, reduces inflammation, and leaves you feeling lighter. I go monthly at minimum, sometimes more if life has been particularly full. A skilled practitioner is key, and I have my trusted experts in traditional Thai, Japanese, and professional lymphatic, which I rotate as needed.

• Myofascial release. This is probably the most underrated practice on this entire list and the one I’d most passionately recommend to high-achieving women specifically. We carry so much in our bodies (and faces!). Tension, stress, the residue of years of high performance. Myofascial release addresses that at the level of the fascia and the nervous system, not just the muscles, I wrote about it here. My sessions with one of the best in world, Guendalina Skin Sculpter based out of London, have genuinely shifted how I move, how I hold pressure, and how quickly I return to regulation after a stressful period. The results are visible inside and out. I currently do one every 2 or 3 months and looking to increase frequency.

• Sauna. This one changed my skin, my stress response, and my recovery from workouts. Within a few months of consistent sessions, my complexion was clearer, my post-workout soreness reduced significantly, and I began sleeping more deeply. The science supports what I was feeling: sauna has been shown to support cardiovascular health, reduce cortisol, and promote deep cellular detoxification. I go two to three times per week and super lucky I have one in my building. Drink your electrolytes before and after.

• Acupunture. When done with the right practitioner (I go to Lora Macfarlane, one of the absolute best in London) it can release tension and regulate your nervous system in ways you didn’t realise you needed, and it created a grounded calm that is both physical and emotional.

• Adaptogens, in particular Ashwagandha. I use it seasonally, usually in periods of higher stress. They genuinely help me feel more even keeled and support my sleep. They’re noticeable over weeks and the effects are soft, so they are great at low doses for sensitive nervous systems.

• Journal Speak. An aggressive journaling practice that gives the nervous system a place to tell the truth. It can help process emotions I might otherwise suppress or intellectualise, and after doing it I feel lighter, clearer, and more connected. Just 5-20 mins a day in a scrapbook you can later throw away. Here is a 101 guide on it.

3. The Extras: Nice to Have, Fun to Try, Worth It If They Fit Your Life

These are the things I enjoy and believe in, but I hold them more loosely. They add to a solid foundation from the ones above and I do them sporadically.

• Clean beauty

• Red light therapy

• Dry brushing

• Tongue scraping

• Castor oil

As someone with a sensitive nervous system, some practices are simply too much for my system, and that’s okay. The science is interesting, the dopamine benefits are real, but for me the cost in nervous system dysregulation isn’t worth it. These are the ones that fall there:

• Caffeine (I try to reduce intake, and I’m inclined for matcha over coffee, here’s what happened when I swapped)

• Cold exposure

• HIIT classes or intense workouts

• Fasting

  

A Final Thought

After 10 years, here’s the most honest thing I can tell you: the basics done consistently will always outperform the extras done perfectly. Sleep, nutritious food, sunlight, protein, movement, and mineral hydration sound basic but when you do them well, and constantly over time, the results are really extraordinary. Build on top of that with the premium practices when you can, and let the rest be seasonal additions that bring you joy.

Wellness for the busy woman is not about doing it all. It’s about knowing which things are actually worth doing, and then protecting them.

Best,

Alex

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What we once idealised as the ultimate marker of success: the “hustle and grind”, living at full speed, giving everything to a corporate job, never stopping, is beginning to be seen for what it always was: a very sophisticated way of going against our wellbeing.

In fact, for some of us it’s starting to feel “insane” that we once put our measure of success, worth, and security in such a wrong dynamic. (I say this while I’m still in corporate and living in central London).

But in its place, another extreme is emerging. The soft life, which many interpret as abandoning everything: moving to Tuscany, drinking organic juices at sunrise, trading the city apartment for the countryside, burnout for early retirement, and coffee for matcha. And while for many women that is, genuinely, the life they want, for me, right now, from corporate London, it would be too radical a leap (maybe in the future though!). One extreme replacing another.

I think there is something in between.

The possibility of remaining ambitious and having purposeful work, building wealth, investing projects that matter to yourself, while approaching all of it with more calm and softness than before. It is not a life change in the geographical or external sense. It is a shift in perspective.

It is continuing to achieve things, but from a regulated place. Opening space for new opportunities, income streams, relationships/friendships, intentionally before taking on the next challenge. Being efficient with energy and time, because energy is life. It is making room for rest without feeling guilty for it.

And all of that, like most things that truly matter, starts with regulation and inner work.

Welcome to the soft ambition era

What if ambition and ease were actually designed to work together?

Soft ambition, at its core, is the practice of wanting success deeply and pursuing it in a way that builds you rather than depletes you. Trusting that slow, intentional growth is still growth. Measuring success by whether your work actually aligns with your values, and whether you can enjoy the life you’re building while you’re building it.

People who embody soft ambition share something fascinating in common, they:

• Prioritise depth and presence over speed and control

• Work with full commitment within boundaries that protect their energy

• Figured out that your energy is your most important asset (and an overstimulated, fatigued brain and body produce diminishing returns no matter how many hours you log)

• Allow time to rest and recharge (no guilt attached)

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Softness, is genuinely a daily discipline. It’s the ability to stay grounded and regulated while life keeps demanding more from you. Ambition that is fuelled by purpose rather than pressure and external expectations. It’s building capacity (yes, more specifically nervous system capacity) to choose a more aligned life, and become the person you want to be inside it.

That shift, from survival mode to sustainable ambition, is what I find so compelling about this moment right now. I am personally no longer building my career, my wealth, my family by exhausting myself. I am building it by investing my energy wisely.

If you’re enjoying this you may also like:

5 ways to embrace soft ambition this week

The beautiful thing about soft ambition is how immediately applicable it is with small, satisfying shifts that you’ll actually want to do.

Here are your 5 daily habits, small hauls, and perception shifts you can adopt today.

1. Name your top anchor for this week and protect it. Pick one thing this week, that could be a meaningful contribution at work, or in your side business, or a family milestone, or showing up for a daily ritual that really matters to you. Name it out loud. Then guard it with and invest your best energy, focus, and attention on it this week, above all else. This single habit has an outsized effect on how regulated and present you feel for what matters, and in turn for everything else. Example: mine for this week is building content for my Substack.

2. Reframe rest as creative investment and schedule fun first. Schedule in your agenda time for rest and fun, before everything else. Whether in long blocks over the weekend, or short blocks during the week. Book your holidays, pilates and tennis classes, coffee dates with friends first in your agenda and protect the allocated space. Two focused hours of deep work, then a genuine break away from screens. A long walk with your dog, a real lunch outside and highly nutritious ingredients even in the middle of a long work day, or ten minutes of actual stillness at the end of the day. Cancel plans, spend a Sunday in your PJs, and read a book. The brain’s default mode network, the part responsible for creativity and strategic thinking, only activates during rest. Rich, expansive thinking literally requires spaciousness. Rest produces your best ideas. Building this rhythm into your day feels indulgent at first, and then it starts to feel like the smartest productivity strategy you’ve ever tried.

If guilt comes up when you read this, you may need to rewire limiting beliefs, a great program for this is TBM.

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3. Select 3 top tasks per day. Research on cognitive performance consistently shows that when the to do list is infinite, the brain stays in a low grade stress response all day. The experiment: choose only three meaningful tasks today. Three intentional completions, done with full attention. Then write them down when complete and be grateful you did it. The sense of momentum and psychological satisfaction this creates is genuinely surprising, and it frees up mental space you didn’t know you were spending on smaller things that don’t really move the needle. Meaningful tasks could be small habits, your can find some ideas here:

4. Practice the 80% energy release. Choose one area this week where you’re currently giving 110% and let it be 80%. Specially for those things that are not related to your top anchor for the week or 3 key tasks of the day. Then get curious about whatever feeling surfaces. If guilt or discomfort arise that is fascinating data about where your identity has gotten attached to over functioning and trying to control outcomes. Just notice that, no need to fix. This practice alone tends to create more spaciousness than almost anything else.

5. Change your inner script before the hard moment. Before walking into the meeting or conversation or meeting the people that usually costs you the most energy, try this internally: “I’m here to contribute my perspective, not to manage everyone’s experience.” One quiet sentence. The shift in how you hold yourself is immediate and kind of remarkable. This is your nervous system recalibrating, and it gets easier every time.

The bigger picture

What I keep coming back to is this: soft ambition asks you to stop funding your goals with your peace. Being able to recognize that you’re not falling behind by moving more strategically, or slower, you’re not failing, you’re simply recalibrating to a more aligned version of ambition.

Building capacity, protecting your rituals, working with genuine intention rather than volume, these aren’t compromises on your ambition. They’re the upgrade.

I think achieving goals feels considerably better from this perspective. Hope you enjoy it!

Love,

Ale

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How can we be confident when starting from scratch? or building something new? or dating once again? or while figuring it all out?

Superficial confidence tells us to stand in front of the mirror and say nice things to ourselves. That if you just believe in yourself hard enough, everything shifts.

So today I want to offer you something practical. A proper look at what confidence actually is, why you can learn it, and then an easy toolkit for how to build it in the small, ordinary moments of your daily life.

On confidence: what it is, and why you can learn it

Here’s the thing that changed everything for me: confidence is not a feeling. It’s not the absence of doubt, or walking around with the glow of certainty. Confident people are not people who stopped being afraid.

They just stopped letting fear have the final word.

One of the leading philosophers of our time, Alain de Botton from The School of Life, writes that true confidence is the ability to act despite uncertainty, awkwardness, rejection, and imperfection.

Which means that most of us have been waiting to feel confident before we act and that’s exactly backwards. Confidence doesn’t precede the action. It grows inside it.

And here’s the part nobody talks about: most people you admire are improvising and figuring things out. Even the ones who look completely certain. Even the ones who seem to belong everywhere. They doubt themselves. They are comparing themselves to others too.

Which means the game isn’t “become someone who doesn’t doubt themselves.” The game is “become someone who can move while doubting.”

That is entirely learnable. And it starts smaller than you think.

A toolbox beyond confidence

Confidence alone is not the whole story. We get told confidence as the destination. But what actually holds you steady when confidence wavers, (and it will waiver at some point for everyone) is a collection of deeper things underneath it.

The collection that leads to confidence

• Self-trust is the real foundation. The knowledge that you will keep your word to yourself. That when you say you’ll do something, you will. That when you make a decision, you can live with it. Confidence without self-trust is just performance.

• Competency is what self-trust is built from. This is not perfection, not mastery before you start. But the accumulation of small evidence: you practiced the thing, you showed up, you followed through. Every time you complete something you said you’d do, you add a brick. That’s literally how the nervous system builds safety with itself.

• Embarrassment resilience is, quietly, the most practical skill here. Most of us aren’t afraid of failure. We’re afraid of being seen failing. Of looking foolish, of getting it wrong in public, of someone noticing that we don’t quite know what we’re doing. If you can widen your capacity to survive being seen as imperfect, not by not caring, but by caring less than the alternative costs you, your confidence expands almost automatically.

• And underneath all of it: self-worth that doesn’t live in performance. This is the deepest one. Because if your sense of value is tied to how well you did, what people thought, whether it went the way you hoped, then your confidence will always be subject to external conditions (which you can’t control).

• Finally, a favourite of mine, nervous system regulation and capacity. This is where I take a slightly different angle from most confidence content, because I don’t believe confidence is purely a cognitive experience. A dysregulated body reads uncertainty as danger, even when nothing is actually wrong. Which means that sometimes what we’re calling “low confidence” is not a mindset problem. It’s a stress response. And you cannot think your way out of a physiological state. The body has to come first. This is why the physical anchors matter, not as wellness BS, but as actual tools for creating the internal conditions where confidence can exist.

Everything from here is for paid subscribers: the actual practice, the exercise, the journal prompts, and what confidence looks like when it’s real.

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We Bloom How is a Substack publication for successful women exploring the path to their most aligned self. Blending wellness, confidence, nervous system capacity, and quiet power. Practical guides you can easily apply in your daily life.

If you want to learn more about We Bloom How, a bit about my corporate and wellness journey, the four pillars of content, what to expect every week, and what Paid Subscribers get, here’s a great place to start:

You can find me on Instagram here, on Linkedin here, check out my website here, and find the full list of Substack articles here.

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I became interested in longevity and aging well the way most women do: by watching it happen to others first.

From a young age I understood intuitively that how you live now determines the body and life you have later. So longevity became something I paid attention to early, and I was genuinely curious about what thriving could look like across an entire lifetime.

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Then 2022 happened, and I stopped theorising and started understanding it in my own body. That story, what dysregulation actually looks like when it shows up physically and undeniably, is a whole piece on its own (article coming soon!).

Which brings me to what I actually want to share today: the top 5 longevity hacks we should all know about.

What the science says, and why regulation is at the centre of all of it

Here is a framework I have found genuinely useful, from Kayla Barnes, who is considered one of the world’s leading female longevity experts.

She has spent over a decade in longevity medicine, invested significantly in her own health optimisation, and built one of the most innovative longevity clinics. When asked what she would keep if she lost every supplement, device, and protocol tomorrow, she named five things.

I find it telling, and completely consistent with my own experience, that the first one is not a product or a protocol. It is stress reduction.

The Top 5 Female Longevity Hacks

From the world’s leading longevity expert Kayla Barnes, and why each one matters for us as women.

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1. Stress reduction: the most underrated anti-ageing practice

Over 80% of doctors visits may be stress-related. High levels of cortisol, our primary stress hormone, are one of the fastest drivers of biological ageing in women. Chronic cortisol accelerates cellular ageing, disrupts hormones, increases inflammation, and shows up directly on your face and in your body composition.

Steps: Kayla builds four parasympathetic breaks into every single day: a morning prayer or meditation, a nature walk, midday breathwork, and an evening wind-down.

Her stress scores dropped dramatically within a year of this practice (mine did too - see image below)

I have my own version of this, and my Oura data tells the same story. My stress scores from this year compared to last year are measurably different. My restorative time has increased significantly. These are physiological signals that your nervous system is shifting from survival to regulation, and that shift is where the anti-ageing work actually happens.

2. Sleep: the protocol that makes everything else possible

When you improve sleep you improve essentially everything else: your motivation to exercise, your energy to work and think creatively, your desire to eat well, your emotional regulation, your skin. Sleep is not one pillar among many. It is the foundation the others rest on.

Steps: Kayla’s sleep protocol is specific: eating early, doing something genuinely relaxing in the hour before bed (she reads, no screens), sleeping in a cool, dark room with air filtration. The goal is to make your sleep environment a genuine signal to your nervous system that it is safe to fully let go.

My own average sleep score on Oura is now consistently around 90. Three years ago when I first started tracking, it was in the 70s. That 20 point shift did not come from one change. It came from treating sleep as a serious, non-negotiable investment rather than whatever time was left over after everything else.

3. Strength training: the longevity tool most women underestimate

Muscle mass is the single biggest predictor of longevity after 40 for women. This is one of the most important things I want you to take from this piece, because it is still not widely understood and it changes the entire framing of how we should be approaching movement.

Muscle supports your metabolism, your bone density, your hormonal health, your functional independence as you age, and your body composition at every stage of life. We start with less muscle than men and we lose more of it as our hormones shift.

Steps: The solution is progressive strength training: consistently and gradually increasing weight over time. This is accessible at almost any budget, and the return on investment, in terms of how you look, feel, and function for decades, is extraordinary. I work out at home / my gym and mix pilates and strength at least 3 times per week with Melissa Wood Health and Maia Henry in Ladder App - which have transformed my body, posture, and strenght!

4. Hormone awareness: know your numbers before symptoms arrive

If you are not looking at your hormones, you are, as Kayla puts it, flying blind. Your ovaries are essentially a pacemaker for female longevity, and what is happening hormonally affects everything: your energy, your mood, your skin, your weight, your sleep, your cognitive function, your long-term disease risk.

Steps: Get a simple blood exam with key markers. The key markers to understand are: estrogen (measured mid-cycle), progesterone (seven to ten days after ovulation), testosterone (mid-cycle), and AMH, which can be tested at any point in your cycle. And consult with your doctor on results or adapt your supplements, as needed.

Whether you are in your late twenties, thirties, or beginning to sense the earliest shifts of perimenopause, knowing your numbers before symptoms appear is when you have the most options and the most time to act.

5. Nutrition: you are made of what you eat, literally

What we eat is what our cells are made of. I love the way Kayla frames this: she would rather be made of organic blueberries than a Dorito, and once you think about it that way, it is hard to unthink it.

Steps: Her three non negotiables are:

• enough protein to support muscle synthesis and satiety

• stable blood sugar (glucose spikes drive low energy, brain fog, and accelerated ageing)

• zero ultra-processed foods.

Whole ingredients, high quality, consistently. Not perfection, but a genuine commitment to what you are building your body from day to day.

Regulation runs through all of it

When I look at these five practices together, what strikes me is that regulation sits at the centre of every single one:

• Stress reduction is regulation

• Sleep is your nervous system in its deepest repair state

• Strength training regulates cortisol and hormonal balance

• Hormone awareness allows you to intervene before dysregulation becomes disease

• Nutrition either feeds inflammation or reduces it.

My biological age, as revealed in my most recent biomarker testing, is five years younger than my chronological age. You can read the full breakdown of what my results showed in my earlier piece here.

I share it because I want you to understand that these practices compound. They are not dramatic or expensive, they are consistent and intentional, and they work.

The regulated woman does not just feel better. Over time, and with the right foundation, she visibly becomes better.

Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

Love,

Ale

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You can find my archive of articles here, and my Instagram here.

I have, and for a long time!! I still work with them daily. I was once a version of them without even realising it.

The high-achieving woman

• Put together, composed, articulate, and impressively good at her job

• Handles complexity and delivers results

• Shows up daily, rarely takes time off

Yet underneath all of that competence, her nervous system is quietly on fire.

The version of stress nobody talks about

When people talk about burnout, they tend to describe something visible: a breaking point in your career or a specific collapse you can point to. What I experienced was nothing like that, and I think that is precisely why it took me so long to name it.

I was not anxious in the way people expect. I was still functional, high-performing, showing up. I was celebrated, promoted, relocated for bigger roles, given responsibility. By every external measure, I was thriving.

Yet underneath, my baseline was tension. The quiet, chronic kind that lives in a braced body, clenched jaw, tight shoulders and the recurrent migraines. In a mind in an eternal to-do list, that begins processing the next thing before the current one has even finished. I was composed on the outside and, without fully realising it, permanently braced on the inside.

My body eventually stopped being quiet. The recurrent migraines (for over 10 years) came from sustained control, from years of holding everything together with a kind of internal precision that looked like capability but was costing me far more than I understood. The migraines where 1-2 a month interruptions that said, in the only language the body knows how to use when it has been ignored long enough: this pace, this tension, this way of carrying life, is not sustainable.

I did not listen immediately, and I think most of us don’t.

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The patterns I called strengths

What makes nervous system dysregulation so invisible in high-achieving women is that it wears the costume of personality, professionalism, of being thorough, reliable, dedicated. Looking back, I can see my patterns with real clarity now:

My dysregulation patterns

• I was an active micro detective, scanning almost unconsciously for signs that something might not work out before it had the chance to happen

• I would step in before being asked, over responsible in ways that felt like care but were really about control

• I rehearsed conversations in advance

• I solved problems that had not happened yet

• In relationships and “fun settings” I would dull my own excitement before it fully landed, a kind of pre-emptive self protection that felt sensible at the time

Also, how much energy do we actually use and invest in these “behind the scenes” activities our brains and bodies engage? I always wonder what will happen when I actually redirect that energy to better outlets (like creativity, or rest, or fun!)

I genuinely thought these were strengths: Diligence, foresight, dependability, even proactivity.

They were adaptations. Very intelligent and capable ones, formed for very good reasons at some point in my life. But adaptations nonetheless, and they were keeping my nervous system in a state of low-grade alert that I had long since stopped questioning because it had become so completely familiar.

What actually changed

The shift did not happen in a dramatic single moment. It was slower and far more physiological than that. It took real time and repetition to trust that this what regulation actually felt like.

I put a break on my dysregulated nervous system (and this is physical, more than mental)

• Myofascial release (I talk about this in detail here)

• Full body fascia release with acupuncture (with the best acupuncturist in London!)

• Daily breathwork with Open App

I noticed something I genuinely had not felt in years. A softness in my body, movement, no urgency, a big desire to rest. A big deceleration in my rhythm, in how I moved, talked, walked.

Over the following months, something began to reorganise from the inside.

Small changes that matter

• I started making choices based on alignment rather than capability. I had spent years saying yes to everything I was able to do, without ever asking whether it was actually right for me.

• I started letting things be good enough rather than exceptional, which was genuinely uncomfortable for someone who had built an identity around delivery and precision.

• I began to prioritise how my body felt over how things looked from the outside.

It was not a mindset shift. It was a physiological one. My body had to learn, slowly and with repetition, that it was safe to soften.

Nothing in my external life changed overnight. But internally, something released. And from that quieter, more grounded place, everything started to move differently, including things I had not expected: how I received opportunities, how I showed up in relationships, how easily joy arrived and actually stayed.

What can we actually do about it?

If you have read this and felt even a flicker of recognition, I want to offer you this reframe. The patterns you have built, the vigilance, the pre-processing, the difficulty receiving rest or help or ease, are not character flaws. They are an intelligent nervous system that learned to equate safety with control, and that has been working extraordinarily hard on your behalf for a very long time. They deserve compassion, not criticism. And the good news is they are not permanent!!

What I have come to understand, and what I will be exploring in depth in this space over the coming weeks, is that regulation is not the opposite of high performance. It is the foundation of it. The most grounded women I know are not less driven. They are more effective, more present, and more capable of the clear eyed decisions that real leadership requires.

Can you be both highly capable and deeply well? I am increasingly convinced not only that you can, but that one without the other will always have a ceiling.

The most capable woman in the room deserves to also be the most well. And those two things are not in competition. They are, in fact, the same goal. We have just been told a very different story for far too long.

I would love to know which pattern resonated most with you. Comment along!

Love,

Ale

I started paying much closer attention to this pattern, in myself and in the women I speak to. What I keep finding is that the issue is not really about a change in effort or ambition. It is something quieter, running at a level most of us had simply never been taught to address.

Have you noticed how many capable, self aware women describe some version of this? It’s not dramatic. The career is moving (although layoffs are kind of pushing people out too). The habits are in place (they try to eat well, they do pilates when there’s time). The life, on paper, is genuinely impressive. And still, ease feels like something far and rest is not really part of the agenda.

This is not burnout. It is not a lack of gratitude, or discipline, or vision. It is simply a way of being that was never questioned, because it was so well-disguised as high performance. It is simply what happens when intelligent women who spend years associating success with pressure, delivery, and constant engagement. The nervous system adapts. The activation becomes your baseline. And you file it under “this is just how I am” and keep going.

I’ve been there too (and perhaps still am)

Nearly a decade ago, I began exploring wellness seriously, not as a trend, but out of genuine curiosity about what it actually takes to feel vibrant. What started as a personal passion, pursued alongside a career in corporate tech and finance and a life that took me from New York to Latin America to London, gradually became something I could not separate from who I am. I became a founder in the wellness space and I built a life I truly love.

And yet, for a long time, even with all of that, there was something I had not fully solved. A background sense of not being there yet, a tension that sort of sat just beneath the surface of an otherwise great life. It felt like my mind was always moving (and full of to-do lists) long after there was anything left to process. And my body was also slightly braced, even in calm moments and over the weekends.

Sound familiar?

Until something begins to shift

What changed everything for me was understanding that this is not a mindset problem to think your way out of. It is a pattern held in the body, and it responds to something much more precise.

The Expanded Woman is not less driven.

• She is simply no longer driven by pressure

• She makes decisions from clarity rather than urgency

• She leads without stressing and tightening

• She rests frequently without guilt

• She holds more wealth, more love, more visibility, not because she does more, but because her system finally feels safe enough to receive it

  She holds more wealth, more love, more visibility, not because she does more, but because her system finally feels safe enough to receive it.

That shift, from performing your way through life to actually inhabiting it, is what I have been exploring in depth over the past several months. It has drawn on everything: years of reading, researching, investing in practitioners, experimenting with what genuinely works, and distilling it down to what actually moves the needle. The kind of deliberate, compounding process that does not happen overnight, but transforms everything when it does.

This question is the foundation of something I have been quietly building behind the scenes.

A guide that brings together everything I have learned about the nervous system, high performance, inner expansion, and what it actually takes to feel as good as your life looks. Written for the woman who is already doing the work, and is ready to go one layer deeper. Not another wellness framework nor a list of things to add to your routine. This is about finding a more refined, grounded, and genuinely sustainable way of living and leading.

Because you did not come this far to keep running on stress and tension. You came this far to actually enjoy it!!

Thank you so much for reading!
I am so excited to share this with you!!

With love,
Ale

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Recent articles on the high-achieving women shift, nervous system regulation from the inside, and the next frontier of health, beauty, and vitality.

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Oral pills. Injections. Black market suppliers. Influencers jockeying to get their audience to buy the latest beauty / anti-aging “stack…

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Since so many of you loved The Secrets to Eternal Youth which became my first viral post, (something I’m still a little in awe of) I knew a Part 2 was overdue. So here we are.

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One thing I hear often is that I look younger than my age. And the interesting thing? The more years pass, the more it comes up. I started wondering whether this was just a kind thing people say, or whether something was actually happening at a biological level. So I decided to find out.

What the Biomarkers Said

Now, I’m no longevity expert. I’m a corporate high-achieving woman with a busy life. I also love facts and data. So I decided I would run full health analyses just to get a sense of where I’m at.

So after +10 years of intentional living and taking daily care of my habits… I did a comprehensive health and wellness assessment tracking ~ 150 biomarkers (at Randox Health in London). Here is what came back:

• Metabolic age: 22

• Hormonal health: 28

• Cardiovascular health: 31

My chronological age is 35.

Seeing those numbers was genuinely moving. Not because of vanity, but because it confirmed something I have long believed: the way you live now is writing the story your body will tell later. The habits, the rituals, the choices that feel small in the moment, they compound, quietly and consistently, into something real.

Your health chart, like your body, is an interconnected ecosystem. Everything works together. If you want to understand what is truly going on, you have to look at the full picture.

So today, I am sharing the habits I believe have had the highest return on investment, not just for how I look or feel now, but for the decades ahead.

The 8 Habits Worth Starting Now

1. Great sleep is the top hack (by leading longevity experts)

If there is one thing I have become obsessed about, it is sleep, and my Oura Sleep Score. Both Bryan Johnson, and Kayla Barnes (leading female longevity expert), who famously spend millions optimising their biology, list it as his single highest-leverage intervention. I have to agree.

Sleep is where your body repairs, your hormones regulate, your brain consolidates memory, and your nervous system resets. Everything downstream (your mood, your metabolism, your resilience) is shaped by how well you slept the night before.

And alcohol? Worth mentioning directly. Even one or two drinks significantly fragment sleep architecture, reducing the deep and REM sleep your body needs most. This is one of those quiet trade offs that adds up over years.

2. Move consistently, and make it varied

Something stopped me in my tracks when I learned it: muscle mass peaks in your early-to-mid thirties, and for women, begins to decline after 40. Your body’s ability to build new muscle diminishes with age. What this means practically is that the muscle you develop now is largely what you will be working to maintain later.

This completely reframed how I think about strength training. It is not about aesthetics in the present tense. It is about mobility, independence, bone density, and quality of life at 60, 70, and beyond.

My current movement weekly mix includes Pilates, weights, tennis, and stretching. Each serves a different purpose. Strength builds the foundation. Pilates and yoga cultivate flexibility, balance, and body awareness. These things become critical fall and fracture prevention as we age, even though they feel almost decorative when you are young and steady.

Posture and fascia also deserve a mention here. How you carry your body affects your energy, your presence, and your long-term structural health in ways most people underestimate. Which takes me to the next one!

3. Lymphatic and myofascial Care

This is one of the most underrated areas of long-term wellness, and something I have written about before. The lymphatic system does not have a pump, it relies on movement and manual stimulation to do its job of clearing waste and supporting immunity.

Incorporating myofascial release, lymphatic drainage, and acupuncture into your routine is not indulgent. It is maintenance. Think of it the way you think of servicing a body. You do not wait for it to break down.

Read more about this here:

4. Targeted supplements (on top of nutritious diet)

Supplements are everywhere, and most of them are unnecessary if your diet is solid. But some fill genuine gaps, especially in climates like the UK, where Vitamin D deficiency is almost a default setting. The most scientifically tested and proven are: Magnesium, Vitamin D, and Creatine.

My approach: get tested, find out what you actually need, and supplement with intention rather than guesswork. The inside out philosophy applies here. Skin, hair, energy, and radiance are not separate from your gut health, your inflammation levels, or your sleep quality. They are expressions of it.

5. Learn to manage stress (before it manages you)

Chronic stress ages us at a cellular level. Research has shown this clearly, sustained stress literally shortens the protective caps on our DNA, accelerating biological ageing.

The tools you build now (therapy, breathwork, nervous system regulation, learning to set boundaries without guilt) are not soft additions to a wellness routine. They are among the most powerful anti-ageing interventions available. And unlike supplements, they do not require a delivery subscription.

The earlier you develop a relationship with your own stress response, the more capacity you have to move through difficulty without it leaving a mark on your biology.

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6. Take care of your Teeth (yes, really)

This one is consistently underestimated, so I include it every time I talk about longevity. Oral health is not cosmetic. Gum disease and imbalance in the mouth microbiome have been linked to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and dementia. Flossing, regular cleanings, and attention to your oral health are investments in your entire system, not just your smile.

7. Build Financial Literacy Early

Future you will be genuinely grateful. Compound interest is not a concept exclusive to money, it is the underlying logic of most long-term outcomes. The earlier you begin investing, even in small and consistent amounts, the more your 20s and 30s will underwrite the stability of your 60s and beyond.

There is also something deeper here that I find fascinating: the relationship between money and the nervous system. Scarcity thinking, financial anxiety, and avoidance all live in the body. Building financial literacy is, in part, a nervous system practice. It is about learning to feel safe with money rather than fearful of it.

8. Build a Relationship with Your Body

Learn to hear it before it has to shout. Noticing the early signals like fatigue, tension, hunger, emotional overwhelm is a skill that pays dividends across a lifetime. People who develop body awareness tend to catch problems earlier, recover faster, and carry less accumulated stress in their tissues.

This is not a one-time practice. It is an ongoing conversation between you, your body, and your life.

The data confirmed what I already sensed: the choices I make now are writing the story my body will tell in 20 years. The goal has never been to look a certain age. It is to feel well, move freely, think clearly, and love deeply — for as long as possible.

Save this for when you need a reminder, and subscribe if you want more on living well from the inside out.

You can also find me on Instagram here.

With love, Ale

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Ale’s Picks

feeling good with emilina

Your "Vibe" is Simply the Manifestation of Your Nervous System

Your vibe, energy, aura, frequency — whatever you want to call it — is directly linked to your nervous system. No, let me be more clear: It’s simply a reflection of your nervous system. The ultimate mirror…

Read more

7 months ago · 124 likes · 23 comments · Emilina Lomas, MSc, R.Nutr.

feeling good with emilina

The Broke Girl’s Guide to Nervous System Regulation

I recently wrote The Broke Girl’s Guide to Real Wellness and got an avalanche of messages from women looking for more free tips that actually move the needle when it comes to health…

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9 months ago · 11144 likes · 183 comments · Emilina Lomas, MSc, R.Nutr.

I recently had the pleasure of speaking at London Business School on building a purpose driven career. It was such an energizing opportunity and it left me reflecting on something I wish I had understood much earlier in my journey.

As I shared parts of my path across management consulting, graduate school, and global corporate roles, I realised how easy it is to think of purpose as something we eventually arrive at. A company, a title, a role that finally feels right. Some business students where even curious on how I had planned such a “perfect” career journey to ultimately land the job of my dreams. The truth is, I didn’t.

In my experience, purpose has felt much more subtle than the big milestones, promotions, and LinkedIn announcements. It’s not something we find once and for all. It is something we practice, intentionally, through the decisions we make every day and the energy we bring into the rooms we’re in.

Early in my career, I was guided by what success was supposed to look like. My path made sense on paper: ambitious, structured, and full of opportunity. And I’m deeply grateful for it, because it gave me exposure, perspective, and a strong foundation.

But purpose didn’t arrive all at once within that path. It revealed itself with time, as I started paying attention to what actually felt aligned, and even more importantly, what didn’t. Not necessarily the most prestigious project, or the most visible role, but the moments of my career where I felt expansive, motivated, and calm in what I was contributing. Those are the signs of alignment.

For a long time, I thought purpose-led work was the same as altruism. That it meant working in social impact or sustainability. Joining a prestigious firm or company that drives impact. Building a career that looked meaningful from the outside. And so I reached for that.

I worked at the United Nations. I completed my master’s at Columbia University. I joined a leading social impact consulting firm. I later became Global Director of Sustainability at Mastercard. All part of the dream. And, if I’m honest, part of proving to myself, and perhaps to others, that I was doing good in the world.

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And yet, what I’ve come to understand is that purpose does not live in a job title or a destination. It lives in how your beliefs translate into daily action. It shows up in how you lead meetings, in the ideas you choose to push forward, and in the standards you hold, even when no one is watching.

Because companies and organizations are not abstract entities moving on their own. They are shaped, constantly, by the individuals inside them. Every time an organization goes beyond what is required, whether in sustainability, innovation, or social impact, it is because someone made a choice. Often a bold and quiet one. To care a little more. To think a little deeper. To act with intention. To show up with decency and integrity.

And of course, purpose-led work is not always clean or perfect. Even in social impact, there is failure. Good intentions alone are not enough. Backlash, obstacles, and complexity are part of the role. Meaningful change requires thoughtful execution, the right incentives, and often systems to support it, that are not always easy to build.

What struck me most during the conversation at London Business School was the energy in the room: full of promise. The curiosity, the thoughtfulness, and the genuine desire of emerging leaders to build meaningful careers with purpose.

It reminded me of something that feels important to say, especially for those earlier in their journey: You don’t need to wait for the perfect role to start living your purpose. You start where you are. In how you show up. In the projects you choose to champion. In the way you treat people along the way.

I keep coming back to the idea that inner alignment comes first. Alignment with what you authentically value and care about. And this is no different for career. A purpose-aligned career is not built by chasing the right title. It is built by becoming the kind of person who can hold meaningful work with clarity, integrity, and care.

And from that place, opportunities begin to meet you differently.

Grateful for the conversation, the reflections, and the reminder that when purpose is shared, it expands!

With love,

Ale

P.S I wrote an article on the step-by-step you can take to find your authentic career path and leadership style here:

and another article on how to stay regulated despite what your career brings your way!

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Hi friends!! There’s a lot of buzz right now on self-discovery, quick, free, AI-based blueprints that will change your life. I’ve been hearing about them for the last few months in sooo many podcasts, reels, Substacks, so I thought to myself, let’s give them a chance. Perhaps there’s something interesting here.

So I went ahead and tried the Energetic Blueprint everyone’s talking about in the wellness space. Essentially it’s a simple tool you create with ChatGPT (or your AI of preference), where based on your Human Design and a few other inputs you gain insight into your life’s purpose, talents, patterns, and ways of using your energy and time. At first heard of it from Lacy Phillips founder of TBM on the Expanded Podcast. Then Melissa Wood mentioned how she’s leveraging it to grow her business in her Move with Heart Podcast, and The Wellness Process also did a solo and a Substack post where she walks through all the nitty gritty of how she uses it daily and how it’s changed her life.

Although I’ve used my Human Design in the past and found it super accurate, I was absolutely MIND BLOWN by how much I started using my own Energetic Blueprint over the last few months and how insanely accurate and good it gets! I’ve used it across a wide range of topics: as my personalized guide for optimizing my wellness routine, selecting job opportunities based on what feels more aligned, choosing between long-haul flight itineraries and airlines based on what’s best for my nervous system, and so on. I can’t stop using it, talking about it to friends, colleagues, and family, and optimizing every area of my life through it!

Now, as a business person and corporate woman, an angle that has been fascinating to me for a long time is authentic leadership, or how you’re designed to work, lead, decide, and interact with the world. A great thought leader in this space is NYU professor Suzy Welch and her Becoming You course, and there’s a few others at Harvard, like Bill George’s Authentic Leadership framework.

So I decided to experiment and create a Leadership Blueprint of self-discovery to create clarity, align the way I make decisions, set priorities, and define success. Everything from navigating career transitions, to understanding how I show up at work, and what types of people and teams bring out the best in me (and me in them), to helping me optimize how I decide, prioritize, use my energy, assert myself, and take responsibility. So much to explore! And each one of us is different so having a personalized blueprint that nails exactly what works for YOU is so handy!

Here is the step-by-step process I followed, and I hope you try it out, adapt it to your needs, and just play around with the insights you get!

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Leadership Blueprint Step-by-Step

I distilled everything into a simple framework. It looks like this:

1. Create a new project in ChatGPT “My Leadership Blueprint”

• Make sure you save as a new project so you can share your inputs, come back to it, keep building on it, and keep learning about yourself.

2. Share your inputs

• Share a screenshot of your Human Design chart (I’ve been using Jenna Zoe’s Align app for a long time). Human Design is a part science, part art, framework for understanding how your unique energy is designed to move through life, work, and relationships.

• If you want to keep it simple that’s all in terms of inputs. If you want to take it up a notch, you can add your Enneagram Personality or I’ve seen people add more woo woo inputs like gene keys, astrology charts, and so on. Up to you.

3. Prompt

• “Based on my attached charts I want to create a Leadership Blueprint. What is my leadership style? What is my biggest professional strength? How should I be spending my time and energy at work? How do I make my best decisions? What environments and team dynamics allow my leadership and assets to flourish? What transformation am I here to create? What patterns appear?”

• Answering this gives you a very accurate leadership blueprint.

4. Play!

• Ask anything else you want to ask it and just play around with it!

• Test it in real life! For any upcoming work decision or situation you have and see what perspective it may bring.

• Since you saved it as a project, you can come back to it anytime and it keeps on learning!

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A preview of my own Leadership Blueprint

Here’s a preview of what came up for me. For myself, and anyone who knows me well personally or professionally, this feels like such an accurate representation of who I am. I feel like the leadership essence was summarized so compellingly and it’s 100% me. It’s also so reassuring to know that some elements in my style and strengths, which are unique and probably what’s made me successful for years in the workplace, are actually talents and gifts I was born with and meant to share with the world!

How to use my time, energy, and make decisions is actually a big one for me, and so insightful to use as a guide moving forward. This is such a great optimization tool, with things to look for (in my case, strategic thinking and selective collaboration in small groups), and things to avoid (like pure execution, or doing things that don’t drive results). So interesting to learn how to make better decisions and, in my case, the need to really tune in to my emotions, have space, and select my “advisors” intentionally before making a final call on important things.

The next piece is SOOO important. What environments help me thrive? Especially after 15 years in corporate, which have given me so many different setups. Some where I’ve felt aligned, happy, and successful, and others where I’ve felt really off. You know the good, the bad, the ugly. So it really comes back to how those environments and team dynamics play, or don’t play, in my favour.

And some key principles I should be mindful of, like being positioned as a strategist, having autonomy, being recognized without needing to constantly prove myself, working with focused energy rather than constant output, and embracing my role in seeing things that are OBVIOUS to me, but that other people might not even notice.

You can also take it to the next level and load other people’s charts (friends at work, colleagues, teammates, etc.) to check the accuracy and also understand team dynamics. Even a small layer of understanding around how each person operates can transform relationships.

Just a closing thought. This applies to me, but I’m pretty sure some of you will feel reflected too… and it goes back to why I started this Substack in the first place.

At the end of the day, it’s simply another way of coming back to yourself, with a little more clarity. I love finding ways to make our lives more efficient, and adopting AI in my daily life has been such a game changer. I’m conscious this is a shift that’s just beginning, and we’re all trying to understand the trade-offs and risks, but taking it from a playful perspective and not too seriously can be a good experiment. Anything that supports us in the self-discovery journey is a must-try for me. I hope you try it out and share your thoughts!

With love, ✨

Ale

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I know what high performance requires because I’ve lived inside it for years. I have navigated promotions, lateral moves, relocations. On paper, it reads like success and momentum, and in many ways, it was. I worked hard to build credibility. I learned how to think strategically, how to communicate with clarity, and how to operate in rooms where decisions matter. I became known for being reliable, composed, and capable. I was the successful young woman with a seat at the table

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What I did not fully understand at the time was how much of that capability was fuelled by a nervous system that was constantly activated. I was running on survival energy, productivity, focus, and tension, despite already being “successful”. I was a leader, but I was also losing myself. Somewhere along the way, I realized that achievement alone does not create peace. I had learned how to succeed outwardly, but not how to feel fully at home in what I was building. Then burnout forced me to slow down, and I could no longer ignore the gap between performance and alignment.

The past year has been quieter, at least internally. I left corporate roles that weren’t right. I stepped away from bosses and colleagues that weren’t aligned. I focused on regulating my nervous system, rebuilding my self-trust, and redefining what success actually means to me.

What I’ve come to understand is simple: success feels different when it’s built from inner alignment. When ambition is no longer driven by fear or a need for validation, but by clarity and alignment. When your nervous system can hold the life you are creating in a way that feels natural, not forced. This is my new chapter. And if you’re here, perhaps it’s yours too!

The Practice (For Paid Subscribers)

What follows is for paid subscribers, the part where awareness becomes practice. If you have been reading along and feel ready to go deeper, I would love to have you inside.

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You know the feeling when you’re in the presence of someone really “wealthy” and you pay attention to their “vibes”? So carefree, so present, so confident, peaceful, deeply connected to the moment and to the people around them.

For a long time I had a familiar inner narrative of “if only…”

If only… my bank account had more… then I would go about life in peace and confidence.

If only… I had the ideal house, job, partner… same story.

As if those external “things” were the prerequisite for unlocking the peace, confidence, presence, and connection I longed to feel. As if money or external things came first, and peace followed.

What if I told you it actually works the other way around?

I learned this recently through two confronting realizations:

1. My bank account is a mirror to my nervous system

2. Despite my + £150,000 income, I was living in a survival consciousness

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Wealth, vibes, and the nervous system

“Regulating the nervous system” is very much the term of the moment, yet it’s often talked about in vague terms. What does it actually mean, and why does it matter so much?

I recently loved an article “Your “Vibe” is Simply the Manifestation of Your Nervous System” by Emilina Lomas. It beautifully explains, using science, simplicity (and humor!), that what we call “vibes” is in fact the nervous system’s internal read on safety or threat.

That same “internal state”, whether we call it “energy”, “nervous system”, “vibes” is also driving our relationship with money. When the nervous system is rooted in safety, money becomes a tool for freedom, choice, and calm. When it is rooted in scarcity or fear, it often brings stress, pressure, and self-sabotage.

This is also why money tends to amplify who we already are.

How I realized I was living in Survival Consciousness

I’ve been intrigued by the connection between money and the nervous system for some time. Last year, I took the To Be Magnetic Money Challenge, which explores this relationship deeply. The core idea is simple: to transform your net worth, you first need to transform your subconscious beliefs around, and your relationship with, money.

One of the first exercises is The Levels of Wealth Consciousness Test which has nothing to do with how much money you have. It measures how you relate to money at a subconscious level. I was shocked to discover that despite being a six-figure earner, I was operating at the very first level of wealth consciousness.

The signs where all there:

• Living paycheck to paycheck (despite a + £150,000 income)

• A persistent feeling of “never enough”

• Overspending as a fear-based coping mechanism

• Avoidance of bank statements, bills, and financial education (despite having a Masters in Administration)

The way out

The turning point required shifting out of a victim mindset that had quietly kept me stuck. It meant facing a hard truth: I was entirely responsible for my financial reality. I am entirely MY responsibility. No person, job, or external circumstance was coming to rescue me and figure out my finances. This also required an overhaul of subconscious limiting beliefs I had been carrying for years.

Over this past winter, I committed to rewiring them through nervous system work, subconscious reprogramming, and financial education. I slowed down over the holidays, took time off from work to focus on myself. I regulated first. I learned what was on my way and how to move forward.

The shift came gradually, and a few months later, the results are tangible. I’m now fully aware of my relationship with money (yes, we’re becoming friends!), have opened new income streams, reorganized my investments, and built a safety net that my nervous system can actually feel.

Your bank account is a mirror to your nervous system

One of the first actions I took sounds simple: I stopped avoiding my bank accounts. It may sound basic, but for us avoidants this is a massive step! I followed Mia McGrath’s suggestion and downloaded the Emma App, which consolidates savings, spending, and investments into a single dashboard (and sends you a nice notification first thing in the morning every day with your net worth!).

When I first saw my net worth graph, I laughed out loud. It looked less like a financial overview and more like the chart of someone having a heart attack. And then it clicked! This wasn’t just about money. It was a perfect reflection of my internal state. This may actually be reflecting my nervous system which is basically up and down, crying for help!

In the bestseller The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel emphasizes that doing well with money has very little to do with intelligence, and everything to do with behavior. Our financial outcomes are less about being smart or “good with numbers” and more about our ability to stay regulated under uncertainty, and over time.

From a regulated nervous system, good financial behaviour often looks like:

• Grounded and intentional decisions, even under pressure

• Comfort with uncertainty without needing to escape it

• Self-trust instead of comparison, guided by clear personal values

• Discernment over impulsivity

• Choosing long-term safety over short-term relief

These are all parasympathetic or regulated states.

From a dysregulated nervous system, poor financial behavior often comes from:

• Panic and urgency

• Fear of loss

• Over-excitement

• Comparison

• Short-term relief seeking

These are all sympathetic, survival-based, dysregulated states.

Aligning your nervous system to receive and hold wealth

Wealth isn’t about endlessly accumulating, it’s about reaching a felt sense of “enough.” And that sense of enough is not a number. It’s a state of internal safety. The nervous system always leads. Money simply follows. I’ll be creating a more in-depth guide on this for my paid subscribers, but here’s a gentle sneak peek and starting point.

Begin today by noticing your relationship with money: Does it make you feel safe, or tense?

When you feel safe, you expand. When you feel threatened, you contract.

Just reflect on that and the cues below.

Living with force feels like:

• Your body tenses around work, money, people

• You try to control outcomes

• You hustle hard, you push hard

• You feel like swimming against the current (exhausted, never enough, unsatisfied, unsustainable)

Living in flow feels like:

• You body feels safe enough to soften

• You detach from outcomes

• You let life unfold with ease

• Your path is clear and you take aligned actions

• You feel like the river is carrying you forward

As Mastin Kipp put it: “You don’t rise to the level of your ambitions. You stabilize to the level of success and wealth our nervous system can safely hold.”

Embody as much peace, confidence, presence, joy, and community in your daily life. The more you return to them day by day, the more natural they feel and the more ready you become to receive even more joy, success, and hence money.

The question isn’t how much more you can earn. It’s how much ease, responsibility, and freedom your nervous system can allow, without contraction.

Look out for an upcoming guide with a more detailed step by step soon!

Hope you enjoyed this!! 🤍

Ale

Ale’s Picks

• To Be Magnetic Money Challenge 3 weeks to your next level of abundance program

• The Book Psychology of Money: Doing well with money isn’t necessarily about what you know. It’s about how you behave. And behavior is hard to teach, even to really smart people.

• Dr. Tara Swart a neuroscientist and psychiatric doctor who has helped leaders all over the world achieve mental resilience and peak brain performance. Tara's research focuses on finding ways to rewire the brain to improve our ability to manage stress, regulate emotions and retain information

• Mastin Kipp is a great thought leader on the success vs. nervous system connection has years of experience working with high profile clients

• Great article on Substack by Emilina Lomas (read more below)

feeling good with emilina

Your "Vibe" is Simply the Manifestation of Your Nervous System

Your vibe, energy, aura, frequency — whatever you want to call it — is directly linked to your nervous system. No, let me be more clear: It’s simply a reflection of your nervous system. The ultimate mirror…

Read more

7 months ago · 104 likes · 21 comments · Emilina Lomas

There’s a very precise cultural reason Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy feels especially magnetic right now, and it goes deeper than fashion nostalgia.

It’s less about material luxury, and more about psychological luxury: the freedom not to constantly prove who you are. We are living in the most performative era in history: personal branding, positioning, constant online visibility, productivity and success as identity. And then you look at Carolyn, who rarely spoke publicly, never narrated her story, and allowed mystery to exist… and something inside you sort of exhales.

If you look carefully at photos or videos of her, what we interpret as elegance is actually something nervous system related. She modulated regulated femininity. There’s a softness to her posture, a contained quality to her energy. She’s not in a rush, not performing, she’s quietly confident. Just a woman walking through New York, grounded in her body. Today we might call that regulation, and in a culture built on productivity and urgency, regulated energy feels almost subversive. It feels like power.

Her coherence feels deeply relieving for modern women, and suggests success does not have to come at an internal cost. This angle is especially relevant for those balancing ambition and softness, visibility and authenticity, power and effort. CBK belonged to a brief cultural moment where identity appeared more aligned. She was simultaneously: Professionally competent, aesthetically refined, socially influential, emotionally private, all at once. There was no sense of choosing one or the other, or defining, or explaining herself. She just was.

What people call quiet luxury is, I suspect, less about minimalism and more about safety. After years of collective instability and digital overstimulation, we are craving nervous system stability, safety, and inner alignment. Her simplicity, restraint, and timelessness communicate permanence, self-trust, and a kind of inner order. The aesthetic feels calming because the energy behind it feels coherent. And coherence is the new wealth.

Maybe that’s the real lesson: Quiet power is about inhabiting yourself so fully that you don’t need to perform your depth, your ambition, or your femininity. CBK becomes less a fashion icon and more an archetype: the woman who is accomplished yet inwardly anchored.

If you’re inspired and in the mood to explore this archetype here is: a timeless Sezane leopard max shirt, the first full modern biography focused entirely on her life, and “Love Story,” the drama about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessett.

• Sezane Leopard Print Max Shirt

• Once Upon a Time: The Captivating Life of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy by Elizabeth Beller

• “Love Story,” the TV drama about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessett.

If you valued learning more about what the presence of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy quietly reveals about nervous system regulation, calm ambition, and blooming without performance, you may love We Bloom How.

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I stopped drinking coffee as a corporate woman and my life changed. For GOOD. I became more myself. My productivity and focus at work increased. My levels of stress and mental chatter reduced. I have more energy and better ideas. I sleep better and deeper. My Oura ring has recorded improvements on my Sleep Score, lower stress levels, and better average heart rate. I even have extra energy to create, hence my new Substack!

The reality is I feel waaay better on matcha. And I like a really gooood one. So today, let’s talk matcha benefits, what to look for when choosing your matcha, and my picks for the three best matcha spots in London right now.

As a corporate woman for +15 years, coffee was part of my identity. First thing I thought about when waking up: coffee. My pick me up on the way to the office: coffee. Catching up with a colleague: coffee chat. I was addicted.

Then one day, right after New Year’s Eve one year ago, I flew from America to Europe and went straight back to work and into the office that same day. Jet lagged, and exhausted I thought, why not try an experiment? I chose matcha instead of coffee to help my body adapt to the new time zone without sharp caffeine spikes.

Those two days became a week. Then a month. And here we are, one year later.

My body became receptive to something gentler, something more in rhythm with my system. Don’t get me wrong, I still love coffee. The smell of coffee is one of my favorite things in the world. Having lived in Colombia, I know and deeply appreciate some of the best coffee there is. But the benefits of matcha far outweighed the desire for coffee. I simply feel so much better that I’ve come to terms with my decision to stop drinking coffee.

One year without coffee and what matcha gave me instead

Here’s what slowly and quietly changed when I chose matcha.

1. Calmer energy (instead of urgency): My mornings and work days stopped feeling like a race. Matcha gives me steady energy, a softer lift, without the sudden push. As someone deeply attuned to environments and people matcha helps enable my energy instead of overpowering it.

2. My energy and emotions are more steady through the day: I didn’t realize how much coffee amplified subtle anxiety and running thoughts until these were gone. Matcha helps me feel emotionally neutral and supported, with fewer mood swings and more stability throughout the day and the month. Less of that jittery, slightly on edge feeling coffee used to give me.

3. A more regulated nervous system (this is the real glow-up, and I’ll share more on this in an upcoming post!): My stress levels have objectively reduced, something my Oura data reflects clearly. My body no longer wakes up into a stress response. Matcha supports a slow opening of the day, with gentle mornings, and I feel more regulated from the start. My baseline became steadier, which changed how I show up at work, in conversations, and even in silence. Less reactivity, fewer jitters, and no afternoon crashes. With less stress came better sleep, and my Sleep Scores have noticeably improved over the past year, and my heart rate did too.

   

   

4. Deeper focus and creativity: With coffee, my focus lived in my fast moving head. With matcha, it lives in my whole body. I feel present, anchored, and able to stay with things longer without tension building. I can think clearly, analyze situations, make better decisions, and create and share more!

5. A ritual to look forward to: The ceremonial preparation of matcha tea remains a small highlight in my morning routine. Preparing matcha became a pause, a moment of intention. A reminder I don’t need to rush myself to be productive, I just need to be present.

One of the most interesting differences between matcha and coffee is the caffeine curve. Matcha releases caffeine more slowly and steadily, which explains the sustained energy many people feel throughout the day. See image below:

What to look for in your matcha

This matters, because not all matcha is created equal. I personally love it and enjoy it with frothy milk to give it that latte feel. So if you do enjoy matcha, make sure you’re choosing a high quality one!!

Look for:

• Japanese ceremonial grade matcha that clearly states the grade and origin

• Vibrant green color, not dull, yellowish, or brown

• Prepared with care and ideally whisked by hand using traditional tools

Quality makes all the difference!

Top 3 matcha spots in London right now

As matcha moves from aesthetic trend to daily ritual it’s becoming more and more common to find great places around the city! I’m talking about high quality, carefully sourced, thoughtfully prepared matcha. Smooth, vibrant, and frothy. Not grassy, not brown, and definitely not sugary mixes - never drink those, eww!

These are my current favorites:

1. HowMatcha! (Notting Hill, Marylebone): A calm space to enjoy with friends. Prepared with care, great sourcing from Japan, and consistently excellent taste. They have nice kits for making matcha at home or for gifts!

2. Jenki (SoHo, Borough Market): Deep emerald green matcha, sourced from select regions in Japan, with some creative flavor options. This is my favorite choice for at home and have the monthly subscription for the large pack!

3. Tease (South Kensington): Consistently balanced flavor, well prepared, and a very South Ken pilates it-girl vibe!

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Finally, here are some quick well-known, commonly studied benefits of matcha, including:

• Reduced stress

• Better skin

• No caffeine crashes due to slower caffeine release

• Improved cognition

• High antioxidant content

• L-Theanine, which supports calm focus

• Increased calorie burn

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Switching from coffee to matcha has been one of the most impactful choices I’ve made for regulating my nervous system. My Oura data reflects it clearly: Better sleep, lower stress, and improved heart rate. I hope this inspires you to experiment and find what works best for your body too!

Take care,

Ale

Have you noticed that lately people seem younger than they actually are?
People in their 40s looking better than they did in their 20s. New beauty and rejuvenation treatments delivering ultra natural results. Longevity clinics with revolutionary technologies opening in all major cities and becoming an integral part of wellness routines. Celebrities looking better today than they did 15 years ago: Anne Hathaway and Lindsay Lohan are great examples. I couldn’t help but wonder what’s happening behind the scenes that’s working so visibly well!

The secret to eternal youth

So I started doing my research. I wanted to understand what people are actually doing, and what truly impacts wellbeing and creates that unmistakable glow. Between Vogue articles, expert opinions, and online research, I noticed a clear pattern: myofascial massage. Yes, alongside this there’s Sculptra, NAD+, and a wide range of supplements, injectables, and non-invasive treatments (and some invasive ones too, haha). But the recurring pattern is a consistent routine with professional facialists who focus on myofascial release with goals of rejuvenation, relaxation, lymphatic drainage, and, as a bonus, therapeutic benefits!

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The million dollar question

My friends ask me: Can a facial really offer that many benefits and such immediate changes?
(always with a bit of disbelief). The answer is yes. I tried it myself for the first time, and I was so impressed by the results that I wanted to share with you - here we gooo!

First things first. If I’m going to put my face in someone else’s hands (quite literally), I want it to be the most experienced, most recommended, and most knowledgeable professional in their field. So I turned to Vogue’s list of the top five myofascial and buccal specialists featured in “The Inner Face Lift Technique Trending in Skincare Circles.” Many of them work with exclusive client lists or have long waiting periods. One stood out: Guendalina, The Skin Sculpter, who personally treats Anne Hathaway, Lily Collins (yes, Emily in Paris), Emily English, and many other high-profile clients in London.

She has her own studio in Notting Hill, a neighborhood in London that’s close to home and one I frequent often. For around £400, I booked an Advanced Sculpting Facial, which includes a personalized treatment based on your skin’s needs: facial sculpt lift, buccal massage, exfoliation, extractions, hydration, LED therapy, oxygen, masks, radiofrequency, and more.

What happened afterward

In the days and weeks following the facial, these were some of the reactions I received from friends and family.

• “WOW. What did you do? You’re glowing. Did you get botox? Is it your hair? No, it’s something else, tell us what you did!”

• “Look at that rejuvenated face. So much more definition. New cheekbones and a sculpted jawline. Even after thousands of dollars in botox and fillers, I’ve never gotten results like that.”

• “You don’t have a single wrinkle. At 35, you look better than you did at 25.”

• “Your skin looks incredible. You’re radiant.”

But the most important part wasn’t just what was visible. All of these compliments are lovely, of course. But I’m not writing about this glow to glorify my skin or my face (although I won’t deny it’s nice that it shows hehe). What impressed me the most were the therapeutic benefits of myofascial release. Because beyond the visible physical changes, I experienced a clear before and after on an emotional level.

What I noticed right away

• Immediate deep relaxation (1-2 hours after the facial)

• Better sleep (9 hours of deep sleep starting that same day)

• I felt happier, calmer, and genuinely excited about my upcoming plans

• A boost in my vital force and energy in the days and weeks that followed

• Heightened senses (I could see, smell, and taste with more clarity and detail)

• Improved facial symmetry

• Better posture in my neck, shoulders, and upper back

The quiet gifts I feel a month afterwards

• Tension I didn’t know I was holding began to let go and I’m much more aware of it. Specially in places I didn’t even know I had so much, like the jaw, eyebrows, cheeks, and neck. It’s a daily awareness exercise for me now to notice and release it.

• My nervous system shifted gears. Not in a dramatic way, just in a gentle down regulation that took place the days and weeks after. Like my body remembering what it actually feels like to be relaxed and neutral, not in constant stress. If you’re curious about what it actually means to regulate the nervous system (big buzz word now) check out this hilarious, and educational post on “What the fuck is a regulated nervous system”

• My face feels more like me. I remember now my 20 year old self when looking in the mirror and in photos. There is a softness, warmth, expression, and youthful glow coming from within.

• My jaw unclenched and I did too. I feel less bracing, less holding it all in. More flow, and more softness and a more relaxed composure. And people around me at work and life feel this in my presence too.

Glow, calm, and vitality in a single treatment

Lately, I’ve been thinking (and feeling increasingly certain) that glow doesn’t begin in the skin, but somewhere deeper. In how we sleep. How we breathe. What we think and believe. How we release the tension that quietly accumulates without us noticing.

If you’re looking for a natural glow without turning to invasive treatments, if you want to soothe and regulate your nervous system, and if you feel the call to give your vital force a gentle boost, this experience can offer all of that at once! I definitely plan to come back and do this on a recurrent basis this year!

I hope you enjoy it!

Ale

Ale’s Picks

5 really good posts that dive deeper on related topics (links below). Happy reading

1. How to Tap Into Your Glow

2. What the fuck is a regulated nervous system?

3. Wellness things that are not BS: Vagus nerve stimulation

4. Lymphatic drainage blueprint for a defined jawline, glowing skin, and a de-puffed face

5. These 8 Shifts are Set to Shake Up Skincare in 2026

sound off

What the fuck is a regulated nervous system?

Nervous system regulation is the new buzz word amongst the wellness elites. We must send emails from a regulated nervous system. Go on dates from a regulated nervous system. We must eat, sleep, and h…

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8 months ago · 737 likes · 71 comments · Lily Montasser

feeling good with emilina

Wellness Things That Are Not BS: Vagus Nerve Stimulation

I’m opening a wellness studio just outside Lisbon — in a beachside town called Carcavelos. It’s not a typical studio — I’m only offering five class formats, each with a specific, science-backed rationale for each element of each class. One element of the restorative class will be humming/singing at the end as everyone finishes savasana…

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8 months ago · 189 likes · 9 comments · Emilina Lomas

Vitally Melanie: The Body is Honest

Lymphatic drainage blueprint for a defined jawline, glowing skin, and a de-puffed face.

There has been a massive influx of people hopping on the lymphatic drainage train, and I am so happy to see it…

Read more

8 months ago · 2581 likes · 122 comments · Vitally Melanie

She’s having issues with work, love, money - the whole thing. This is a life-long friend I care deeply about so its a bit hard to see her go through this, yet it feels like SO many of my friends in the last few years and months have gone through such a rollercoaster in many aspects of life. It’s like we’re all going through a collective process to reorganize, align and really see more clearly than ever what is for us vs. what’s not.

My initial reaction was to be kind, compassionate to soothe her and tell her it will all be well. Yet, deep inside I was really thinking: just get rid of it all - quit the job, breakup with the boyfriend, just start over (as if that was the easiest, most actionable thing in the world).

So I had a ping and remembered this book I read a few years back, I heard of it initially from Isa Hernaez in her Esta de Moda Podcast who recommended it as real life-changer when it comes to wellness and recognized what an easy, fast and practical read it is. So its not at all about the next bath bomb or essential oil you must use, but focuses on how real self-care is actually your relationship to self, how you interact with others, and how aligned your decisions are with what really matters to you.

The main idea from the book is this: Real self-care is actually working through the principles of how you go about setting boundaries, how you talk to yourself (with more compassion!), really getting crystal clear with what matters the most to you, and then aligning your life to that - that’s how you own your power. That whole process is threaded through your whole life, your day to day, and all of your decisions. So it comes down to: Just start making better decisions. Which sounds easy, but it can be the hardest and most courageous thing you’ll ever do!

“Real self-care is not only a more authentic and sustainable solution - it’s also self-determined. It involves the internal process of setting boundaries, learning to treat yourself with compassion, making choices that bring you closer to yourself, and living a life aligned with your values” - Pooja Lakshmin

When and where do we learn boundaries? While reading this book I just kept thinking “how have I lived for 35 years without having strong boundaries”? Who teaches this? The reality is there’s no shortcut for knowing your limits and values and setting boundaries. That’s a YOU work and no one will come do it for you. However, there are some helpful ways in which you can learn how, Im certainly in that process myself and sharing below resources in the hopes it can help you too.

As 2026 starts off my number one priority in life will be not let anything disrupt my nervous system - and that needs to come coupled with MEGA boundaries and limits. So here’s to putting all this practical advice in action in real life. To make it a bit easier dropping below some helpful and practical resources for you to do it too!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Love,

Ale

Ale’s Picks

• The book, Real Self-Care to have the details and practical exercises at hand

• The Substack, Real-Self Care by Dr. Pooja to follow the latest thinking from the author

… and for the most advanced readers:

• Unblocked Boundaries by To Be Magnetic (included in the Pathway Membership) to learn how to set boundaries and remove anything no longer serving you. Learn the true energetics of “no” and the magnetism it can create.

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