I’m Jess — a 30-something working mom and former financial coach. Each week I share ideas and real numbers to encourage and ground you on your path to living richer. lighter. fuller. ✨💸

Live a slow life they said.

Have a garden. Bake sourdough. Homeschool your children. Live in a house on the cliffs overlooking the eastern seaboard.

Wear flowing dresses with puffy sleeves every day of your life.

Get chickens.

Is this the dream? For some, yes, and props to you! I hope you get it and it fits your lifestyle, values, and brings you joy.

For others, this is just one more idealistic vision sold to us – yes sold – by influencers who have far more resources, time, and money than they let on.

Gardens take energy and money to maintain. Chickens are a long-term pet you choose to adopt, unless you are the asshole giving them away once they become old lady chickens and stop laying eggs. Long flowing dresses are often a bold or terrible choice if you have a toddler.

Baking sourdough… actually that might be amazing if you are into that. But you could also just not and say you did. Who is watching?

My point is, I want you to really examine the costs of the ideas and goods you are being marketed – all of them. And decide for yourself which are worth it.

Disclaimer: I really do want chickens one day.

Actually....

Now is just the preseason.

Late August - end of summer, back to school for some and a return to a busier work season for others. Either way, this transitional month is disruptive.

Wherever you fit into the spectrum, just remember… you are in the preseason.

We’re not in prime time fall yet. Summer’s not quite over. There’s no pressure to nail the kids’ school schedule perfectly in week one. Everyone is figuring out how to get back into the swing of things and remember how to function before Summer Fridays kicked in.

Give yourself grace. This season is just practice. You’ll get your game day footing.

Betting is for losers.

I said what I said. This is an alarming and growing trend that I have to address. It’s so alarming because there is an insane amount of marketing dollars being thrown around to normalize the practice of betting - on anything from sports to reality tv now - and target it to younger and younger age groups.

As your older sister, mom, sort of rich auntie, I plead to you don’t fall for this trap. This is just one more way for someone else to make money off you and take your hard earned dollars.

As tempting as it is, do not join the betting pool on which bachelorette is getting a rose this week, which team is gonna win in the NFL, or which fuckboy is getting kicked off of Fuckboy Island.

You’re basically just setting your money on fire. Would you ever do that? No. You are smarter than that. So don’t bet. If you really are so inclined, do so responsibly.

Don’t bet anything you couldn’t afford to lose. Only bet if you have zero debt and funded savings. Set a specific, budgeted amount and hard stop when it’s gone.

Or just don’t do it and save your cash instead.

The house always wins. Be the house.

Not Nothing…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change.

• My sweet, gadget and sale-loving husband bought me a new phone. It was mental anguish for him to watch me pass up a killer deal on the next model of my sad broken phone and use it for a few more months.

I feel like I have the power of the universe in my hands now. The Pixel 11 is so fast and the pictures aren’t blurry. Ladies, who you marry matters ♥️ Even though I am a strong independent woman who could have bought my own phone.

• I started choir again this week! This is my one hobby out of the house and I’ve been singing since elementary school. I sing with a GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association) chorus in San Antonio called Live Oak Singers.

This is my soul food. It’s especially important to me because this choir is a safe space out here in Texas for individuals across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum (plus friends and allies) to express themselves and be united in music.

• Your girl is on budget this week. Huge win. I feel like I’ve been overspending left and right lately, and this pay period I’m on track to end with no overspend.

Worth It…

When I find something I truly love I am nothing if not loyal – I’m a Scorpio like that. At 33 my dedication to Abercrombie & Fitch remains unwavering. Same goes for these two accounts that are core pillars of my financial life. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Full transparency — if you use my links below and open an account, I earn a small referral reward. I’d never recommend something I don’t genuinely use and love.

Ally Bank

I have five — yes, five — Ally High Yield Savings Accounts and zero regrets. Online only, no fees, no minimum balance, and their High Yield Savings currently earns 3.00% APY — more than 5x the national average. Plus you can create multiple savings buckets within one account which is exactly how I fund everything from holidays to emergencies.

Use my link and you could earn $100 to get started. 💸

Free Money This Way

American Express Blue Cash Preferred Card

My everyday card. My precious. I put almost everything on this and pay it off in full each month — which is the only way you should ever use a credit card if you can help it.

Here’s why it works for me:

6% cash back on groceries, 3% at gas stations, 1% on everything else.

For a household that spends real money on groceries every week — have you seen my Numbers section? — that 6% adds up fast. I’ve earned over $400 in cash back this year alone. The $95 annual fee pays for itself before spring.

Use my link and we could both earn rewards if you’re approved. 🪪

Earn Cash Back With Me

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

I’m paid twice a month and my variable spending budget is $460 per paycheck — that’s for everything outside of fixed bills and automated savings. Here’s where that money went this week and where I stand in the pay period.

Quick note - this is my personal spending only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

August 21 - 26:

Variable Spend: $167.92

• $103.59 - HEB

  • $14 on melatonin gummies

  • Rest to food. Toddlers are a bottomless pit.

• $41.39 - Levis

  • If you read last week’s post — yes. The white t shirts have been ordered and are en route. I did it. And with free shipping and a new customer discount.

• $22.94 - Amazon

  • Clif bars for my husband’s lunches and screen protector for my new phone

Other Spend: $121.70

• $25 - Donation to a friend’s friend who is a teacher to stock her classroom (from Giving fund)

• $20 - Starbucks gift card to my baby cousin for her birthday (from Giving fund)

• $76.70 - Olmos Nail Spa

  • Basic mani/pedi plus tip (paid for from my new Self Care fund of $100 per month). A relaxing and much-needed reality break.

One More Thing…

I am not here trying to yuck anyone’s yum. Yum what you like and when you like. There’s no judgement.

But I am challenging you to think about what you actually want.

Some people genuinely want the slow life and that is beautiful.

Some people want the city and a little fast-paced chaos and that’s also beautiful.

The only wrong choice is spending your money, time, and energy on someone else’s dream.

What does YOUR version of richer. lighter. fuller. look like? Share with me in the comments!

Until the next one…

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

New here? Start with my first post.

It Was Never About the Coffee

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I'm Jess — a 30-something working mom and former financial coach. Each week I share ideas and real numbers to encourage and ground you on your path to living RICHER, LIGHTER, FULLER. ✨💸

Last weekend I crashed out. Hard.

In the days leading up to the meltdown, I had struggled through very severe PMS and general burnout. I wanted to buy things, but felt guilty spending money. I wanted to take a walk, but it was too hot outside. I had zero patience with my family and felt like the worst mom in the world.

End result? Me crying on the floor of the kitchen.

This is not okay. It is not sustainable.

We have all been there at some point, especially as women and moms carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. We set our needs to the side as “nice to haves”. We push off doing life maintenance for ourselves because we are busy maintaining our families and our households.

We need to do better for ourselves.

How? Build a system. Starting now, I am choosing to put in guardrails for my time and money so that I care for myself before I reach crisis mode.

You can too.

Actually....

Responsible or neglectful?

Here is a little peek into my running wishlist:

• New white t shirts that don’t smell 10 minutes after I wear them and have no stains

• One pair of jeans

• Mary Jane ballet flats

• A signature scent to feel fancy each day

• Noise cancelling headphones

• Aloha protein bars

• A pedicure

Most of these items have been on this list for over a year. Most are under $100. Why haven’t I just bought them, you ask?

I grew up watching the women in my life take care of everyone around them first. Buy for the house, buy for the kids, buy the essentials. After that there really wasn’t anything left for themselves. We can chalk up my ingrained habits to social conditioning.

I’m not saying throw the whole financial plan out the window. Don’t just go buying that Coach bag you’ve wanted for all of five minutes and will die if you can’t have. Most of the time, it’s the smart move to take a beat before buying something (like 24 - 72 hours before a major purchase).

But after too long this self-inflicted restriction on reasonable purchases is no longer sustainable. And quite frankly? It’s self neglect.

No more.

One extra week tacked on to my savings timeline is worth me showing up as my best self and caring for my needs.

This weekend I am ordering motherfucking white t shirts.

Add yourself to the list.

I am the queen of keeping an empty cup until everyone else’s has runneth over. I feel fine right now, so I’ll push out personal time for another weekend. Then another weekend. Then another.

Soon it’s been 6 months since I spent two hours away from my family on a day off work and the result is not cute.

It’s time to try something new.

Starting now, I am making space for myself each Sunday to do something just for me. I am also intentionally building this into my budget. Why? Because my usual excuse for not doing this is that I don’t have the spending money to leave the house.

I’m removing the primary obstacle for this new habit before it even becomes one.

Filling my cup is now an essential bill.

It’s not optional. It’s not a fun occasional treat. It’s an investment in my wellbeing and myself.

Come Sunday I’ll be crossing “pedicure” off the list and I cannot wait.

Not Nothing…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change.

• I have put a new screen protector on my broken phone, which is basically like performing surgery. There are a few noticeable air bubbles, but I’m blaming the cracked screen and not my installation.

Does a screen protector protect what’s already broken? Who knows. I feel like it can’t hurt. Bonus - I used the little screen cleaning wipe it came with to wipe off all the weird little spots on my computer screen. Double win.

• Finally returned a gigantic pile of plastic bags to the grocery store for recycling. These have been haunting me for months. My garage thanks me.

• Most importantly… I reached out to my old therapist to start up sessions again. The heaviness of life can creep up on you and I forgot for a while that you don’t have to white knuckle it on your own. Neither do you.

Worth It…

When I find something I truly love I am nothing if not loyal – I’m a Scorpio like that. At 33 my dedication to Abercrombie & Fitch remains unwavering. Same goes for these two accounts that are core pillars of my financial life. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Full transparency — if you use my links below and open an account, I earn a small referral reward. I’d never recommend something I don’t genuinely use and love.

Ally Bank

I have five — yes, five — Ally High Yield Savings Accounts and zero regrets. Online only, no fees, no minimum balance, and their High Yield Savings currently earns 3.00% APY — more than 5x the national average. Plus you can create multiple savings buckets within one account which is exactly how I fund everything from holidays to emergencies.

Use my link and you could earn $100 to get started. 💸

Free Money This Way

American Express Blue Cash Preferred Card

My everyday card. My precious. I put almost everything on this and pay it off in full each month — which is the only way you should use a credit card if you can help it.

Here’s why it works for me:

6% cash back on groceries, 3% at gas stations, 1% on everything else.

For a household that spends real money on groceries every week — have you seen my Numbers section? — that 6% adds up fast. I’ve earned over $400 in cash back this year alone. The $95 annual fee pays for itself before spring.

Use my link and we could both earn rewards if you’re approved. 🪪

Earn Cash Back With Me

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

I’m paid twice a month and my variable spending budget is $460 per paycheck — that’s for everything outside of fixed bills and automated savings. Here’s where that money went this week, and where I stand in the pay period.

Quick note - this is my personal spending only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

August 14 - 20:

• $101.77: HEB

  • $12.50 on a replacement face roller and a package of PMS cookies

  • Rest to the usual groceries

• $41: Olaplex hair oil

  • Purchased two bottles for a killer deal! Operation Main Character Hair is in full swing. I have used this twice so far and, holy moly. Immediate transformation to softer and smoother hair. Goodbye Hermione Granger, hello Victoria’s Secret.

  • $21 for my own bottle from my variable spend budget

  • $20 for the second bottle as a gift for my mom (paid for from my Mom sinking fund)

• $53.42: Amazon

  • $46.34 on vitamins to be a healthy girly (omega 3s, vitamin d, and magnesium glycinate). I’ve found this combo of supplements to be non-negotiable for me. I sleep better and feel better when I take them. Don’t copy me though, I’m not a doctor.

  • $7.08 on enzyme cleaner to cure some perpetually stinky shirts

• $49.77: Circle K

  • $3.78 for Powerade to bring me back to life after a night of food poisoning

  • $45.99 for a full tank of gas

• $24.65: Paw Pets Glam

  • Anal gland secretion for my dog - aka the most disgusting thing I’ll ever write. I’m sorry (paid for from my Pets sinking fund)

• $20: Bubble Car Wash

  • For the sake of my mental health, I paid the $20 to wash my car and use their tools to do a full vacuum and interior clean out. No more stray raisins, crumbs, and dog drool spots.

Weekly Total: $290.61

Variable Spend:

One More Thing…

Some of you may be reading this thinking — girl, just go buy yourself some stuff. Go take an afternoon.

Please teach me your ways in the comments.

I am a saver by nature and over the years have become a little…. Strict? Inflexible? Stubborn? with my budget. Since having a baby I’ve had a hard time taking time away from my family — and an even harder time spending money on myself without the guilt spiral that follows.

But the kitchen floor moment was a wake up call.

A full cup isn’t a luxury. It’s what keeps me and everyone else running.

Time to fill it up.

Until the next one…

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

New here? Start with my first post.

It Was Never About the Coffee

Share

I’m Jess - accountant by day, mom and money optimist all the time. Each week I’ll share ideas and real numbers to encourage, inspire, and ground you on your financial journey.

Were you a rich kid?

Be honest… it’s okay if you were.

When I was a kid, here were my metrics to determine a fellow kid’s richness:

• Did they have name brand clothes?

• Had they ever flown on a plane? Bonus points if more than once.

• Did they have their own spending money to buy lunch off campus?

• Did they have their own room?

Any Yes? Rich.

I was wealthy in so many ways growing up - I had the best and biggest family, a safe and cozy home with space to play, my own dogs, no shortfall of books to read, and an overall happy childhood.

I also knew that when it came to money that we were not rich. There was no open talk about money in our house. My family taught me through their actions to work hard, be DIY and scrappy, spend frugally, and be generous to those in need.

We didn’t talk about how debt financed some of the household budget and my parents were not saving for retirement. My pleas for a house addition so I could have my own room were ignored. So was a family dream trip I planned in Microsoft Word to San Diego, because obviously we’d never have money for that.

We didn’t buy expensive foods at the store (can a vegetable be rich-coded? If so, asparagus). I didn’t learn takeout coffee was even a thing until at least middle school. Books were from the library for free. And lemonade stands could raise some cash.

It took me until my mid-twenties to realize that financial literacy wasn’t something my family withheld — they just never had it to give or talk about comfortably. So I had to find it myself.

Now that I have more, I want to give more to my kids.

My goal is simple — set my kids up for financial success from the start. This means age-appropriate money conversations. It means modeling healthy financial habits.

Acknowledging mistakes or poor decisions. And it also means letting compound interest do the heavy lifting before money is even in their vocabulary.

Was I a rich kid? Not really. But my daughter?

She actually already is.

Actually....

Your kids are watching.

Want a kid? Have a kid? Rich auntie to a kid? This one’s for you.

Kids don’t know what 20% APR means on debt. But they know what tense feels like. They absorb the energy of a home where money is stressful, scarce, or never talked about — and they carry it.

The best gift you can give a kid isn’t a rental property at 18 or a Bluey stuffie now. It’s growing up in a home where money is talked about openly, managed intentionally, and not a source of shame or fear.

Be the example. Get curious about your own money. Engage in age-appropriate money conversations. Make it a normal part of everyday life.

And if you don’t quite have a financial plan for yourself yet — no judgment, that’s literally why we’re here. Start today. An emergency fund. A budget. One subscription cancelled that you forgot you had. Small moves compound.

Rich babies come from financially secure grown ups.

Invest at birth. No really.

Did you know you can open a 529 plan in your child’s name as soon as they have a Social Security number? We’re talking days after birth.

A 529 is a tax-advantaged savings account that lets your money grow federal income tax-free and come out tax-free when used for qualified education expenses.

That means college. It also means private K-12 tuition, trade school, apprenticeships, professional licenses like the bar exam, and even career-credentialing programs like welding and plumbing - try to come for those jobs, AI.

Start investing at birth. Give your kid the gift of 18 years of compound growth.

What does that even look like? Here are a few scenarios:

Numbers provided from this calculator.

One caveat — don’t invest for your kids until your own financial house is stable. Emergency fund first. Always. Need a refresher?

Check out last week's article here

Trash is treasure.

The moment you become a parent, everyone has something to sell you. Expensive toys. Name brand clothes. Gadgets. Must-haves. All in the name of giving your kid a memorable childhood.

This is quite often bullshit.

My two year old just celebrated her birthday. Of all the new toys and books in our house this past weekend, the most exciting item?

A free box from Costco.

This logic applies to so many parts of childhood. Hand-me-down clothes or things from Goodwill are a fraction of the cost of new items and enjoyed just as much. The best weekend afternoon? Playing with a bucket of dirt and water or exploring the local public library.

I’m here for all of this.

The money I save by being frugal and creative in certain areas is funneled into building long term wealth for her instead.

Not Nothing…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change.

• My husband got a surprise mid-year raise! He got a 2% increase on his current annual salary. That’s real money that didn’t exist a week ago. Yay husband.

• Last week my family shared some “constructive” feedback regarding the dinner menus. My response was to delegate this task to AI. A few months ago I spent time training an AI chat on our favorite meals, dietary preferences, and my non-negotiables - I don’t want to cook every day and it can’t take more than 30 minutes.

  Can I say I love this particular use of AI? It has made my role of house CEO lighter and better fed. I check in weekly with my bot to tell it my current list of available ingredients and provide it with the weekly grocery ad.

  It scans, identifies the best deals for us, and then builds a weekly dinner menu planned around real family data and our current pantry. Yes Chef.

• Well Spent has reached 39 subscribers! This blows my mind. I am having so much fun and there is so much more I plan to do - content, templates, community challenges, a future course, maybe even some snail mail one day... I’m taking it one week at a time. Thanks for being here. It means more than you know.

Worth It…

When I find something I truly love I am nothing if not loyal – I’m a Scorpio like that. At 33 my dedication to Abercrombie & Fitch remains unwavering. Same goes for these two accounts that are core pillars of my financial life. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Full transparency — if you use my links below and open an account, I earn a small referral reward. I’d never recommend something I don’t genuinely use and love.

Ally Bank

I have five — yes, five — Ally High Yield Savings Accounts and zero regrets about it. Ally is an online-only bank which means no physical branches, lower overhead, and better rates passed back to you.

Their High Yield Savings Account currently earns 3.00% APY — more than 5x the national average — with no fees and no minimum balance. Their Checking Account earns a small APY on top of that, with no fees and access to 43,000+ free ATMs nationwide. This means easy access to your money when you need it and bigger earnings when you don’t. Who doesn’t like free money?

What I love most is their app. Simple, intuitive, and genuinely great customer service every time I’ve needed it. Plus you can create multiple savings buckets within one account — perfect for someone like me who has a dedicated “Holidays” fund, an emergency fund, travel fund, and who knows what other goals running at once.

Use my link below to set up an account and you could earn $100 to get started. 💸

Free Money This Way

American Express Blue Cash Preferred Card

My everyday card. My precious. I put almost everything on this and pay it off in full each month — which is the only way you should ever use a credit card if you can help it.

Here’s why it works for me:

6% cash back on groceries, 3% at gas stations, 1% on everything else.

For a household that spends real money on groceries every week — have you seen my Numbers section? — that 6% adds up fast. I’ve earned over $400 in cash back this year alone. The $95 annual fee pays for itself before spring.

The annual fee is waived for your first year, so there’s truly nothing to lose to try it.

Use my link and we could both earn rewards if you’re approved. 🪪

Earn Cash Back With Me

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

New format incoming! Up until now, I’ve been sharing what I spend weekly on all my variable spending (anything that’s not a fixed cost like a bill or savings goal). While a fun peek into my spending habits, it doesn’t show you the full picture of how I actually budget.

So we are switching it up. Going forward, you’ll not only see what I’m spending on, but how that fits into my real monthly budget.

I’m paid twice a month and my variable spending budget is $460 per paycheck — that’s for everything outside of fixed bills and automated savings. Here’s where that money went this week, and where I stand in the pay period. No pressure 😅

Quick note - this is my personal spending only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

August 7 - 13:

• $230.84: Costco

  • $39 for dog food

  • $60 for clothing splurges for both me and my husband. I said I’d be laser-focused in Costco. I said I’ll never buy clothes from Costco. Then I saw a Madewell dupe jacket go viral on Instagram. I found ONE in my size (meant to be, obviously) and proceeded to buy said viral jacket.

  • I love it. I’ve worn it every day even though it’s 100 degrees here in Texas.

  • Remaining amount for groceries and pantry staples.

• $114.04: HEB

  • More food. All I buy is food. And baby wipes.

• $4.50: Dollar Store

  • Toddler sunglasses, paint, and poster boards to make our neighbor a “Happy Senior Year” sign.

• $25: Venmo to a local mutual aid fund for family ICE detentions. This actually comes from my monthly Giving budget I set for myself (separate from my variable spending).

Weekly Total: $374.38

I will be honest. I don’t even know where my money went this last pay period. Even finance pros fall off the wagon sometimes. Today is a new paycheck and a fresh opportunity to get back at it. I got this.

One More Thing…

I love a good gift card. My daughter got a bunch of Target gift cards for her birthday, so last weekend we went on a mom-daughter shopping spree.

We went in with a small wish list - new sunglasses, Cheerios, and a toothbrush.

Over the course of the trip many items were added and then removed from the cart. We spent over an hour browsing the store and I just let the toddler be free to explore all the things. This was her special time.

Here is the final haul, all hand-selected by Kennedy and since used daily:

Rich in Bluey. Rich in pickles. Rich in life.

Until the next one…

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

New here? Start with my first post:

It Was Never About the Coffee

Share

Hi everyone,

I’m Jess - accountant by day, mom and money optimist all the time. Each week I’ll share ideas and real numbers to encourage, inspire, and ground you on your financial journey.

I have returned with the family from California where we completed Operation 2nd Birthday Party. We spent a lovely, and exhausting, four days with family and friends. We also hosted a big Nacho Libre birthday party.

There was bubbles. There was cake. There was cheese. Kennedy has been talking about the party nonstop since.

Truth be told we absolutely did not have the money set aside to cover our travel costs in full for this trip. Even a finance girlie is human. This doesn’t mean we are keeping a running balance on a credit card or pulling from savings to pay off the excess costs. Oh no.

For the remainder of August we will be cash flowing the expenses – using this month’s allotted travel and holiday savings rather than touching our emergency fund or carrying a balance on our credit card.

If needed we will also reduce our weekly spending and use some of that budget to cover any difference. It’s not ideal, but it is intentional.

One of my trip highlights happened during a layover in the Dallas airport. My husband and daughter got free lounge access because my husband is a Capital One card holder. There was a $45 access fee for me, but it paid itself back tenfold.

Unlimited food and drinks, grab-and-go items, lovely bathrooms, and tons of space for Kennedy to run around. We spent three hours from 6 - 9 am in the lounge sipping espresso martinis, eating real food, and watching planes take off.

In my wildest dreams I never imagined I would be a lounge person. Peak luxury.

Actually....

Everyone needs an Oh Shit fund.

Emergency Fund. Fuck off Fund. Abundance Fund as I like to call mine…

Regardless of your naming convention, every single person needs one of these.

For those unfamiliar, this is your savings account for when shit hits the fan. For when it rains and then pours in your life. For when your water heater explodes, your cat has an emergency vet visit because they ate some tin foil, or you break up with your partner and lose their half of the monthly rent in the process.

You need more than $1,000.

As one very famous grandpa finance personality - you may know who - likes to say, get your emergency fund to $1,000 and then stop saving until you pay off all your debt. I disagree.

Yes - if you are starting at savings ground zero, aim to save $1,000. This is a milestone number. It may feel big to you, but I promise it is doable and feels so good once you get there. This provides a decent cushion for some of the more expected emergencies of life – in my experience almost always car, medical, or pet related.

However…. once you hit that sweet $1k, get yourself a little treat to celebrate and then keep going. Your ultimate goal is three to six months of your living expenses saved up. Living expenses means the bare minimum you need monthly to cover your life essentials. This includes rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, bills you cannot skip like a car loan, etc.

It does not include the optional expenses that you would cut back on if you lost your job and had zero income – and yes, optional includes retail therapy, charitable contributions, salon visits, and eating out at expensive restaurants.

It also does not include savings or investments. In this scenario you’re just trying to survive. Thriving will come later.

Saving takes time.

I like to think of emergency fund savings as a marathon and not a sprint. Some people may be able to hustle and get this account fully funded quickly, but for most people it is gonna take some time. You may be balancing saving along with debt repayment or investing. And that’s okay.

After a decade, I am still working on getting my family’s emergency cash up to $30,000 to cover six months of expenses. This is partly because life has gotten more expensive as our family has grown, and partly because we’ve had to use our savings for real emergencies. That is the whole point.

Whatever you do… don’t put this in Crypto.

No matter what you see online, do not keep your emergency savings in crypto or investments. Also, please don’t keep it under your mattress. These are all bad ideas. Your emergency savings should be easily accessible at any time, protected, and should not be at risk of losing value.

The nature of investments and crypto is that account values go up or down on any given day. You do not want to be hit with a $1,000 crisis and then go to your crypto account to withdraw money only to find the account is now worth $10 (if you are lucky).

Your emergency fund should ideally be kept in a high yield savings account. This will earn you more interest on your hard-saved dollars than a traditional savings account at say, Chase or Bank of America.

You will have the most success if it’s kept completely separate from your checking account or other savings accounts. See my recommendation for my favorite account below in my Worth It section.

Automate. Automate. Automate.

This is the secret weapon to saving consistently. Here’s my approach:

I split my paychecks so that a portion is automatically deposited into my savings account and the rest into my checking account. It’s hard to spend money you don’t see, which is why this tactic works great. It builds up your savings balance while limiting visibility to the cash so you aren’t tempted to spend it.

If your employer doesn’t give you the option to split your paycheck deposits, you can still automate. Schedule a recurring transfer on each payday within your checking account. If you’re on a variable pay schedule, set it aside manually. Either way — make paying yourself the very first bill that comes out of your check.

An emergency fund won’t prevent bad things from happening. But it will make sure that life hardships don’t also become financial ones.

Not Nothing…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change.

• I have made the bold and brave decision to not purchase a giant skeleton for $300 this month. I’ve wanted a giant skeleton for Halloween for years. I always push it off and say “maybe next year”. This year I actually got one for free. It was given to us by a coworker who moved to an apartment and had no use for it anymore.

  The next three months after that were bliss. Kennedy and I loved skeleton. It lived under our guest bed. We gave it good morning kisses. I counted the days until September 1st when I could set it up for the season.

  Then the coworker moved back unexpectedly. Due to the circumstances, we felt we had to give it back to her. It was the right thing to do. I then declared to my husband that I would buy it this year, cost be damned, because it brought me so much joy.

  Unfortunately I do actually have more urgent spending needs (a desperately-needed haircut for one) and I am behind on my emergency savings goal due to a wee bit of overspending last month. Hence the skeleton purchase is once again on the back burner 😢 It really sucks to be frugal and responsible sometimes.

• Last week I actually planned ahead for once to clean the entire house and make a fresh bed before we left for vacation. Win one. We also had a return flight that got us home before our usual 10 pm, so we had an entire half day to unpack and reset in our home once we got back! Win two.

  Both were absolute game changers. I normally feel a lot of post-travel anxiety to do all the things the day after we get back, while also clocking in for a full work day. This time around I felt calm. Relaxed. And so well-rested after sleeping in my cozy, clean bed.

Worth It…

When I find something I truly love I am nothing if not loyal – I’m a Scorpio like that. At 33 my dedication to Abercrombie & Fitch remains unwavering. Same goes for these two accounts that are core pillars of my financial life. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Full transparency — if you use my links below and open an account, I earn a small referral reward. I’d never recommend something I don’t genuinely use and love.

Ally Bank

I have five — yes, five — Ally High Yield Savings Accounts and zero regrets about it. Ally is an online-only bank which means no physical branches, lower overhead, and better rates passed back to you.

Their High Yield Savings Account currently earns 3.00% APY — more than 5x the national average — with no fees and no minimum balance. Their Checking Account earns a small APY on top of that, with no fees and access to 43,000+ free ATMs nationwide. This means easy access to your money when you need it and bigger earnings when you don’t. Who doesn’t like to earn free money?

What I love most is their app. Simple, intuitive, and genuinely great customer service every time I’ve needed it. Plus you can create multiple savings buckets within one account — perfect for someone like me who has a dedicated “Holidays” fund, an emergency fund, travel fund, and who knows what other goals running at once.

Use my link below to set up an account and you could earn $100 to get started. 💸

Free Money This Way

American Express Blue Cash Preferred Card

My everyday card. My precious. I put almost everything on this and pay it off in full each month — which is the only way you should ever use a credit card if you can help it.

Here’s why it works for me:

6% cash back on groceries, 3% at gas stations, 1% on everything else.

For a household that spends real money on groceries every week — have you seen my Numbers section? — that 6% adds up fast. I’ve earned over $400 in cash back this year alone. The $95 annual fee pays for itself before spring.

The annual fee is waived for your first year, so there’s truly nothing to lose to try it.

Use my link and we could both earn rewards if you’re approved. 🪪

Earn Cash Back With Me

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

Quick note - these are my personal spending numbers only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

July 31 - August 6:

• Rocket Money: $84

  • Negotiation fee for reducing our internet bill

• AMC Theatre: $36.45

  • Tickets to see The Odyssey in a few weeks for a date with the husband

• HEB: $52.95

  • Post-travel grocery essentials

• Travel: $652.72

  • Urbane Cafe lunch for three - $47.42

  • Starbucks for four - $22.30

  • Nautical bean coffee and brekkie for 2 - $30.55

  • Ralph’s Grocery for party and everyday food - $54.51

  • Airport parking - $46.60

  • Lucy’s Doggy Daycare for the goodest boy while we were away - $300

  • Airport milk for the child - $5.44 (absolute robbery)

  • Airport coffees - $12.61

  • Gas for mother-in-law’s car we borrowed - $26.59

  • Starbucks for two - $6.70

  • Best ever annual massage from sister-in-law - $100

• Marshalls: $21.64

  • Full size bottle of Olaplex No.5 conditioner. I am on a mission to bring main character energy to my hair now that I am no longer postpartum. Upgrading my conditioner has been on my list for a while, and this deal was too good to pass up.

Weekly Total: $847.76

One More Thing…

During our family visit, I noticed the lightbulb in my mom’s kitchen was flickering. Like strobe-level flickering. I asked how long it was like that. She couldn’t remember, a few months maybe. Her reason for not fixing it? It was still working.

Oh my god. If the light didn’t give me a stroke, my frustration would have. My husband was right next to me and I had him reach up (he’s pretty tall), unscrew the bulb, and replace it with one my brother found in the garage. Literally two minutes. Instant improvement to every day of life.

On a bigger scale, I saw that same stuck mindset everywhere we went. California is expensive — genuinely, brutally expensive — and it’s easy to decide that discomfort is just a way of life when getting ahead feels impossible.

I’m very aware that everyone starts from a different place. Some of us carry privileges others don’t. Some of us battle mental health challenges that make every step harder. I’ve lived versions of this. And still… the only person responsible for your life is you.

You have more agency than you think. You don’t have to live with discomfort just because it’s familiar. You deserve joy, peace, comfort, and prosperity — and it can start with the smallest possible actions.

Change the lightbulb.

Until the next one,

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

New here? Start with my first post.

It Was Never About the Coffee

Hi everyone,

I’m Jess - accountant by day, mom and money optimist all the time. Each week I’ll share ideas and real numbers to encourage, inspire, and ground you on your financial journey.

This week is officially Nacho Libre birthday party week. My girl is turning two years old! I can’t even believe it. She has grown into such a hilarious, empathetic, and adventurous little girl in the last year.

Some moms love the newborn stage, but that is not me. I have been absolutely vibing as a toddler mom, even with the meltdowns, overstimulation, and potty training. Lots of potty training.

To celebrate we are flying to California to party with friends and family. Both my husband and I come from large families, so this backyard bonanza is going to be a real rager with about 60 people attending.

Actually....

You can brave the unknown.

Five years ago my husband (then fiancee) and I made the decision to move away from our pricey hometown on the coast of California. What were we chasing? Lower cost of living, a new adventure, and the chance to create the financial future we wanted.

The cost? Leaving all of our friends and family behind. No one in our immediate families had moved away outside the county, let alone the state. We were the crazy kids doing the unexpected and making our moms cry. The move was terrifying, exhilarating, and so hard. It will always be hard.

Hard changed the course of our financial lives. It gave us the ability to purchase a brand new house, pay for our $18,000 wedding completely debt free, afford pets and hobbies, increase our income, and lay a strong financial foundation for our family.

But the deeper ROI? That one's harder to put in a spreadsheet. It pushed us outside our comfort zone. It forced us to grow and adapt to a new environment. It proved that we can do really difficult things together. And it showed us that comfort and the familiar can be expensive. Not just in dollars - but in opportunity.

I have a challenge for you. Think through your every day and identify one habit or daily part of life that is costing you - in money, experiences, or time. Do you religiously stop for a coffee on the way to work every morning or immediately say no to outings with friends because they cost money? I dare you for a week to try the alternative. You may be surprised at the outcome.

Different isn’t worse.

Family is the most important thing to me. I remember telling my therapist after my daughter was born that I was sad she wouldn’t get to grow up near family like I did. I lived next door to two different houses full of my relatives. Open doors was the policy. I bounced around visiting with whoever was home and was first the babysat, and then the babysitter across generations.

She reminded me that different doesn’t mean worse, just not the same. Kennedy may not have my childhood experience, but she has her own magical and special one. She’s gotten to take many fun airplane trips to see her family and have them come sleep over at her house. Pictures of them plaster her bedroom wall and she video chats with them weekly. I never had that.

To offset the cost of family proximity, we budget a hefty sum each year for travel. Each month we save at least $400 in a designated “Travel” savings account to use for flights, petsitting, and onsite travel costs like airport coffees. I love being able to afford airport coffee.

Paying this much for annual travel means tradeoffs in areas we don’t value as much. I’ll sacrifice eating out weekly or having a monthly spa budget if it means I can fly my mom out to Texas for my birthday. It’s an uncomfortable truth, but family time is finite. Money can’t buy more time, but it can pay for the plane flight.

Not Nothing…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change.

• One of my favorite rituals is one I do every quarter — make a list of what I want more and less of. This can be of anything! I pick a background that matches my energy for the season and set the list as my computer screen so I see it every single day.

  You change your habits by changing your environment. See your goals every day and you will be more likely to meet them. This quarter I’ve had more pasta and moments of courage, and genuinely less jaw-clenching as a direct result. Wins.

  And just for you — I’m sharing the free editable template below so you can make your own! Simply follow the link, edit the text, and then download the file as a PNG. To do this: click on File in Canva, Download, and select your file type and size. Let’s go.

  

  More of This, Less of That Please

• To keep our family spending on track, my husband and I use Rocket Money. It’s a budgeting app that tracks your account balances and categorizes your transactions so you can see where every dollar is going.

  This week we tried out Rocket Money’s bill negotiation service. They reached out to our internet provider and were able to knock $20 a month off — saving us $240 a year! There is a 35% negotiation fee for the service, meaning we had to pay Rocket Money 35% of what they saved us. We paid them $84 upfront, but that’s still $156 in net savings for the year that we couldn’t get ourselves! And believe me, we tried.

  Our next saving tactic is that next year we will cancel our current account in my husband’s name and reopen it in mine as a new customer. That will get us an even bigger discount. Is it annoying admin work? Yes. Is internet still ridiculously expensive? Also yes.

Worth It…

When I find something I truly love I am nothing if not loyal. I’m a Scorpio like that. My dedication to Abercrombie & Fitch at 33 remains unwavering. Same goes for these two accounts that are core pieces of my financial life. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Full transparency — if you use my links below and open an account, I earn a small referral reward. I’d never recommend something I don’t genuinely use and love.

Ally Bank

I have five — yes, five — Ally High Yield Savings Accounts and zero regrets about it. Ally is an online-only bank which means no physical branches, lower overhead, and better rates passed back to you.

Their High Yield Savings Account currently earns 3.00% APY — more than 5x the national average — with no fees and no minimum balance. Their Checking Account earns a small APY on top of that, with no fees and access to 43,000+ free ATMs nationwide. This means easy access to your money when you need it. Bigger earnings when you don’t.

What I love most is the app. Simple, intuitive, and genuinely great customer service every time I’ve needed it. Plus you can create multiple savings buckets within one account — perfect for someone like me who has a dedicated “Holidays” fund, an emergency fund, travel fund, and who knows what other goals running at once.

Use my link below to set up an account and you could earn $100 to get started. 💸

Free Money This Way

American Express Blue Cash Preferred Card

My everyday card. My precious. I put almost everything on this and pay it off in full every month — which is the only way I’d ever recommend using a credit card.

Here’s why it works for me:

6% cash back on groceries, 3% at gas stations, 1% on everything else.

For a household that spends real money on groceries every week — have you seen my Numbers section? — that 6% adds up fast. I’ve earned over $400 in cash back this year alone. The $95 annual fee pays for itself before spring.

The annual fee is waived for your first year, so there’s truly nothing to lose to try it.

Use my link and we could both earn rewards if you’re approved. 🪪

Earn Cash Back With Me

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

Quick note - these are my personal spending numbers only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

July 24 - July 30:

• What’s Brewing Coffee Roasters: $21.50

  • My twice monthly decaf coffee bean fix and two coffees plus tip (please always tip)

• Drunk Elephant: $68.41

  • My holy grail of skincare and a true splurge. I’ve been using cheaper vitamin C this year to save money, but on this refill I caved — and my face is going to be so grateful when it gets delivered. I signed up for their email list for 10% off my order, plus a subscribe and save discount I’ll immediately cancel. Saved about $20. Still so expensive, but worth it.

• Amazon: $43.58

  • Ovulation strips (iykyk), retinol serum, wedding card for a relative, oven mitts

  • Redeemed $6 in rewards dollars to get to this price.

• Prescription Cat food: $125.39

  • This one kills me every time I have to pay for it, but one of my kitties needs kidney support food, so we are stuck with this bill for life.

• Venmo to Mom: $20

  • Birthday party supplies - bubbles and chalk.

• Smart and Final: $114.87

  • Curbside order for all the food and cake mix for the party. Many cans of nacho cheese and beans.

• Allergy Immunotherapy Drops: $225

  • This is a quarterly expense for me. So that it’s not a bad surprise every three months, I set aside cash in a savings bucket each month for it. I also get this subsidized partly through my work. My employer offers a monthly wellness benefit of $45 reimbursable for approved expenses. Each month my $45 goes into savings for this bill.

• Gas: $43.88

• HEB: $58.59

  • Diapers, cheap Spanish wine for tinto de veranos all summer, peanut butter M&Ms for travel, and ziploc bags for portioned dog food for the pup’s boarding facility during travel.

• Cat Sitting: $120

  • $30 a day for our neighbor’s son to watch our two kitties.

• Library: $3

  • Color printing of three food signs for the birthday party

Weekly Total: $844.22

Wow. This number makes me so uncomfortable. I am a natural-born saver and frugal individual with sometimes expensive tastes. Even though half the stuff on this list was planned for, it still makes my stomach cringe to see it all on paper.

I am bad at spending money and am still growing my “spending is okay” muscle. Last time I went clothes shopping I went what I consider a little wild. I spent over $200 on some much needed essentials and a fun outfit that I love. When I got home I proceeded to cry and plot returning at least one item out of spending shame.

My mantra to help me overcome these feelings when costs are outside my comfort zone?

Every week will not be this week. And…this one was worth every penny.

Until the next one,

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

I’m Jess - mom, wife, accountant, and money optimist. Each week I’ll share ideas and real numbers to encourage, inspire, and ground you on your financial journey.

“What if the measure of success was a calm nervous system?”

I heard this paraphrased quote from Diania Merriam, founder of a financial independence conference called EconoMe, on a podcast episode of ChooseFI a few weeks ago. When I heard this come through my speakers I almost had to stop my car. As an eldest daughter, Type A, millennial woman I struggle hard with over-producing, multi-tasking, and frequently moving goal posts as soon as I achieve something.

Success to me is often measured in dollars, percentages, or in the amount of tasks achieved in a period of time, not how I feel or how regulated I am afterwards - which could be overstimulated, anxious, or depleted. The idea that I could keep the goal the same, but change the metric of achievement to something sustainable and qualitative kind of blew my mind.

Actually....

It’s okay to do less.

In the early days of my money journey, I had real and heavy motivations for getting my financial health in check. I had a lemon of a first car that I was grossly underwater on, vet bills for a pet’s surgery on credit, student loan repayment coming due, a salary of roughly $30,000 a year gross, and I was living in my mom’s living room… need I say more?

I started hustling hard to change this and I got creative with different ways to increase my income. I took jobs as a petsitter, a babysitter, I worked extra hours for a previous employer doing admin work I could complete at home, and even collected cans from various places to recycle on the weekends for money.

Not from public places like trash bins or the side of the road … but enough places that people probably thought I was either desperate for cash or just really passionate about saving the planet. I did go to college at UC Berkeley, so it kind of tracked.

Nearly a decade later those big scary debts are long gone. I make over triple what I was making just out of college and the amount of savings I have now is unbelievable in comparison to my starting point.

Yet my mind and my nervous system often still live in that “hustle-or-else” mentality. Even with a $100,000 individual salary I constantly feel the need to try and monetize my hobbies or what little “spare” time I have, push myself towards the next corporate milestone even if I may not want it, and in general just do more. All of the time.

It takes very intentional thinking for me to overcome these feelings. Thinking about success as a calm nervous system really reframes it for me. It’s like dousing the hustle mentality with some cold water. I needed that fire to get me through a long winter, but now I’m in a warmer season.

One of my favorite parts of my week is a slow Sunday morning in the garden with my daughter. No phone. No to-do list. It’s peaceful and calm and everything I’ve worked so hard for. I like my slow Sunday mornings.

I like having a job that isn’t high-stress. I like being able to use my limited free time as a working mom to go take a walk with my dog, make a fun craft, or read for a few hours. I like not having to juggle multiple side jobs and claw for any extra dollars at the expense of my mental health.

This doesn’t mean I’ve set ambition to the side. I have big financial and life goals that I want to achieve - financial independence, covering my mom’s expenses in retirement, and affording botox on a quarterly basis to name a few. And I will achieve them in time.

For now in my current season of life, a little more ease and less hustle feels pretty darn successful. A calm nervous system isn’t settling. It’s worth it.

1% Better...

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound into meaningful change

This has not been the best week. My mom who lives out of state got really sick from a virus, and I spent a lot of time worried about her and feeling guilty for not being there to take care of her. I was on my period. And to top it off, shortly before writing this a hornet attacked me in my front yard and I broke my phone in the struggle. What a week.

I had to dig deep for some wins this week. But they were there.

• This is more my husband’s win, but for the entire household. Our home has a one car garage that is part home gym, part storage. He’s complained about the garage lighting since we moved in. We had a small ceiling light that was pretty dim and it made working out feel like you were in a dungeon.

  He finally had enough and for $20 purchased a set of new lights from Home Depot. Can i just say… I had NO idea how much of an impact this would make on my everyday life. The garage now has the best lighting in the house! It’s so bright, cheerful, and light. I love seeing it and actually want to be in there at 6:30 to workout. 30 minutes of install time and $20. Game changing.

• This week I did two loads of laundry, folded them, and put them away. In the same day. This is a rare achievement. I’m quite proud.

The Numbers...

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

*Quick note - these are my personal spending numbers only, not the entire household. Once a month I will share a full recap of the family budget and progress updates towards our goals.

July 17 - July 23:

• Amazon: $24

  • Two 15 packs of Clif Bars for my husband’s lunches. Usually about $18 each, but I stacked setting up a subscription for 5% off with a one time 20% off coupon for said subscription. $12 savings y’all! Despite the level of financial security I now have, I still live for the thrill of a great deal.

• Costco: $103

  • $20 for two Halloween pillows 🎃 These have already been claimed by my daughter as the newest members of her nighttime stuffie pile.

  • $83 for the bulk purchase of a few proteins to stock the freezer and pantry items

• HEB: $5

  • for Goldfish crackers and ringworm cream. Can you tell I have a toddler or what?

• Hobby Lobby: $37

  • $13 for cape making supplies for Kennedy’s Nacho Libre birthday party in two weeks!

  • $24 for a woven basket. This was a splurge for me. Normally if I see something I like but don’t essentially need at the moment, I will put it back on the shelf and proceed to regret not buying it for the rest of time. This time I bought it! This is a flat tray basket that is now acting as a top for a table I have in my guest room.

• More HEB: $109

  • for household weekly groceries.

• Doordash: $47

  • for dinner delivery to my sick mom and my brother whose been taking care of her.

Weekly Total: $325

This last week was our first Costco trip since getting a membership. We treated it as a pricing recon mission. We went in armed with a list of items we frequently purchase at HEB to see what savings we could find. There were some surprises….

Pet supplies: our usual dog food for our 60 lb pup is going to be significantly cheaper at Costco, and almost the same formula. We are gonna try this swap for our next purchase. We also discovered that Costco can fill pet prescriptions! An estimate of prescription flea and tick meds for our three animals put Costco far ahead of both our vet and Chewy.com for 12 month supplies. Price savings here could be at least $100 for a year, which pays for the $60 membership and then some.

Meats: these weren’t as big of savings as we had anticipated. Prices were pretty comparable to HEB for many types of meat. My husband works for HEB so we also factor in an employee discount on HEB products, but even without that it wasn’t a huge savings. We did find great deals on select items like pork loin and our favorite Aidell’s chicken sausages. The pork loin cost $12 and provided a full week of dinners for our house. Aidell’s was a three pack for about $11 that breaks down to three meals for under $4 each for protein.

Paper goods: As I had suspected, we will save money on toilet paper and paper towels at Costco. Now I just need to find some more storage space at home for the giant packages…

Pantry Stapes: gluten-free flour, gluten-free oats, chocolate chips, vanilla extract, and pine nuts are staples in our house and were much cheaper by ounce at Costco vs HEB. We’ll be stocking up on these for annual baking and pesto-making needs.

The Hot Dog: Was I the only one who didn’t know that you get both a giant hot dog AND a soda for $1.50 at Costco? Is that even real? 10/10 stars. Practically worth a membership in itself.

The Catch: To truly take advantage of this membership you need to be prepared and enter the store with laser focus and discipline. There are so many fun items (like holiday pillows) and great deals, that it is too easy to blow all your cost savings on unplanned, impulse purchases.

Overall, I’m excited and think that Costco is going to bring some significant savings to our annual budget and lighten the mental load from shopping across multiple stores. Buying in bulk isn’t just about saving money. It’s also about making intentional decisions once so you don’t have to make them again every week. That’s time well spent.

RIP solar powered string lights that I put back on the shelf. I will be back to buy you one day…

Until the next one,

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess 🧡

Hi everyone,

I’m Jess - mom, wife, accountant, and money optimist. Each week I’ll share ideas and real numbers to encourage, inspire, and ground you on your financial journey.

I was recently having a chat with a friend and taking some time to appreciate how much of my own financial life has changed in the last decade. I’m turning 34 this year, and it was at age 23 when I first became engaged with my money and dove headfirst into the world of personal finance.

If we could go back in time, back to when every decision felt monumental, when we put so much pressure on ourselves to have everything figured out, when we were still wearing going out tops and skinny jeans, what did we actually need to hear?

I could have benefited from hearing a lot. But let’s start here.

Actually….

You don’t need to cry over $5 coffee.

I was (and still am sometimes) one of those people who will get so single-mindedly focused on a goal or problem at hand that I can forget to zoom out and look at the big picture. When you are working towards financial security and have just identified the many ways you’ve screwed up with money and never knew, it can be really easy to feel like you have to go 1000% towards fixing the problem.

For a long time that meant me adhering to a $75 or $100 week spending budget. This was my discretionary spending budget after all my bills, debt repayment, and savings goals were paid. This was the cash left in my wallet for all my groceries, gas, and miscellaneous spending. Luckily I lived at home with my mom for a portion of this time so expenses were low, but even then this budget was often unachievable.

That was partially the point of this number. It was a stretch. It forced me to be hyper-focused on frugality and be intentional with each purchase. On the flip side, it meant that when I inevitably went $20 over this budget because I needed say, laundry detergent AND shampoo in one week, or accepted an invite for a glass of wine out with a friend, I would be wracked with guilt and obsess over how the overspend would impact my goals.

Looking back, I can say with confidence that ZERO of these small-dollar moments had any lasting impact on my overall picture. Yes, the discipline did help me hit my goals, but I wish younger me had cut myself some slack and been gentler to myself. For those of you in the early, tight-budget, pressure-filled start of your journey, please know this:

You will go over budget. You will be hit with unexpected expenses. You will make spontaneous purchases on something perceived as silly or non-essential. It is okay. Keep focusing on taking consistent, small steps forward and maintaining good habits. The single $5 coffee won’t impact you long term, but your overall discipline over months and years will.

Money isn’t the root of all evil.

Wow, was this ingrained in my money psyche from my upbringing. I heard this verbally said at least once in my household. Because of how tight my family’s budget and income was growing up, credit was frequently utilized (though I didn’t know it until adulthood).

Any unexpected cost like a big vet bill or a car repair meant trouble. Our family never seemed to be the chosen ones that abundance flowed to. Money was stressful. There was never a cushion. And the mindset was that money was the problem. It took a lot of personal work on my own relationship with money to realize this was not true.

Money is not alive. It’s not some living, breathing, monster out to get you. It’s not reserved by greater powers of the universe for the chosen few and not you. It is a tool accessible to you. And like any tool, it works better when you learn how to use it.

If used in the wrong ways or if there is not enough of it coming in you can be left stressed, in debt, and unable to afford your wants or needs. On the flip side it can buy you nice things, take you out to dinner, and pay your bills.

Even more importantly, it can allow you to give generously, leave a shitty job or toxic living situation, and buy you something no store sells — peace of mind.

1% Better…

Where we celebrate the sometimes big, sometimes small, wins that all compound for real change.

• This week I reduced my monthly Netflix bill by about $10 by switching from the ad-free plan to the standard plan. Ads aren’t a pet peeve for me like they may be for other people, so it doesn’t bring me that much value to skip them. Now I’ll save $120 a year!

• I got a replacement desk chair for my home office… for free! I work remotely and the chair in my office literally came from the side of the road. My neighbors were giving it away and it was in better shape than my previous chair (also secondhand).

  Fast forward a few years and this chair had to go. The back seat was failing, it was hard to keep clean, and it was also too big for my desk, so I annoyingly hit my knee on the desk drawer multiple times a day.

  I’ve had my eye on an Ikea chair for months. While it was under $100, I just couldn’t bring myself to spend the money. This week the chair happened to be on sale for $65 instead of $85. I also had a realization that maybe I didn’t have to pay for it.

  I work for a fully remote company that occasionally helps cover home office supplies. I decided to flex my bravery muscle and ask my manager to approve the new chair purchase. Two lines of text, one click of bravery, zero stakes. I got an immediate “yes” and by the end of the day I had my new chair purchased with company dollars.

The Numbers…

Where I share my real spending from the last week. Here we listen and we don’t judge (mostly).

*Quick note - these are my personal spending numbers only, not the entire household. Check out my monthly review for a comprehensive family spending recap and goal progression.

July 9th - July 16th:

• Bikini Wax: $75 with tip

• Costco Membership via Groupon: $55

  • Original price of $65, but my credit card was offering a $10 cash back reward for a Groupon purchase PLUS I will get a $50 Costco gift card in a week for signing up through Groupon

  • Net membership cost essentially $5!

• Amazon: $51

  • $10 water shoes for Kennedy

  • $41 on costume items for Kennedy’s “Nacho Libre” themed birthday party

• HEB groceries: $77

• Gas: $41

• Locally roasted decaf espresso beans: $10 - usually purchase these twice a month

• Walmart: $13 - costume wig for said Nacho Libre part-ee

• Bookshop: $35 - birthday gift for bestie

• USPS: $14 - shipping of birthday gift for bestie

• HEB groceries: $145

Weekly Total: $516

I used to be one of those people who was very against spending money on kids’ parties. I thought it adds unnecessary stress on the parents, if the kid is super little they won’t even remember it, and also - why do I need to spend this to impress other people? I must resist.

I did not resist.

As I’ve gotten older and now have an almost-two year old of my own, I’ve come to realize that holidays and birthdays are some of my favorite things to spend money on. I get so much excitement and joy from leaning into these events - unleashing my creativity and tapping into fun - and I don’t want to sacrifice spending money on these events for the sake of frugality!

How I prioritize this values-based spending is by having a savings account devoted exclusively to “Holidays”. Each month I automate saving $100 in this account. That way, if I choose to orchestrate a silly, themed birthday party, I can pay for it guilt-free and without any impact on the rest of my budget.

Sometimes spending well isn’t about spending less. It’s about spending on what actually matters.

Just wait for Halloween you guys…. My vision for trunk-or-treating this year is epic.

Until the next one,

Wishing you time and money well spent.

Jess

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