May God rest him in peace

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and appreciative of…the abundance you have been gifted.

On August 12th…my father died.

There are many emotions that come with losing someone… especially someone with whom you’re so connected. Despite being estranged from my father for almost half my life, we developed a really good relationship over the past 19 years.

And as I write this blog, I want to bring your attention to a question:

Inquire… it’s “the work” of a lifetime.

It may be hard to believe that we do not need anybody or anything, at any time or in any place, to be fully at peace and in joyful appreciation for “what is.”

However, at the same time, we are also built to be in community with others. And when around others, comparisons arise.

God knows, I built much of my early life around not wanting to be like my father. It contributed immensely to my worldly success, but I did not have all the information, or the maturity, to understand my father’s choices.

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So beware of the labels: good or bad, should-this or should-that.

Consider choosing, all the more, thoughts that love and lift yourself and others. Don’t make excuses for others or allow them to take advantage of your kindness, but try all the more to understand their situation before acting.

One paradigm-shifting story that will stick with me forever comes from Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Covey was in New York on a train one quiet Sunday morning when, at one of the stops, a father with two young children boarded. The father sat down next to Covey, closed his eyes, and seemed completely oblivious to his two rambunctious children, who were disturbing everyone on the train.

After a few minutes, Covey tapped the father on the shoulder and asked if he could please try to control his children’s behavior.

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The father, looking a bit dazed, responded that they had just come from the hospital, where his wife—the children’s mother—had died about an hour earlier. Neither he nor the children knew how to handle it.

How would you respond to him now?

Everything changes when you understand.

Habit #5 from Covey’s 7 Habits is:

Seek First to Understand.

Being patient with the thoughts and behaviors of others is rarely easy, especially when they are contrary to our own internal rules.

Our personal rule books guide our lives, and while those rules may assist others with theirs, it’s important to respect that ultimately, others have their own path to walk.

Choosing to lead, rather than to push.

Leading by example.

Remembering that leaders go first.

Being quick to expel non-loving, non-accepting thoughts as though they were a thief in our house.

And non-self-loving thoughts may be the biggest thief of all.

If we don’t love ourselves enough—if our cup is not full—how can we love and serve others?

When joy has been stolen from you, know that it is always an inside job.

No one can take from you what you can produce for yourself through the power of your own thoughts.

Viktor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust said:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Being glad and thankful in all things can seem absurd. But when we see how adversity grows us—should we not, in some way, be thankful even for it?

It is very tough to lose someone, especially when the loss feels unexpected.

I will always remember my mother saying to me a month before she died:

“Honey, I didn’t come to stay, I came to pass.”

Wow.

It is we who believe and generate our thoughts based on our past experiences and current emotions. And sometimes, it is important and helpful to learn to look at our current experiences through new lenses.

No one can make us think anything.

We allow thoughts such as scarcity to invade our life.

If you feel unable to choose different thoughts, seek assistance. I did, and it changed my life. You could even say it saved my life.

I learned to recognize my own abundance, a necessary element in becoming a greater source of abundance for others.

There’s an author I read a few years ago whose work is absolute Rocket Fuel.

Her name is Byron Katie, and her book is titled Loving What Is. She calls her method simply “The Work.”

She is a true transformational leader.

As you know, when we become more, we become more for ourselves and for others.

Since our lives are the sum total of our thoughts, learning to question our thoughts is a must if we are to gain more understanding of ourselves and others.

I cannot recommend this book enough.

I have seen her work in action, often with miraculous results. The steps are simple enough for anyone to follow.

Please check her out and begin using what she calls THE WORK to elevate your thoughts—which, of course, will elevate your life.

I am allowing myself to mourn, to feel the natural sadness of my father’s passing.

And I will choose to think about the tremendous good that came from my decision to reconcile with him.

What a gift.

Expel the thief within your mind that steals your joy and keeps you from being the example others need most.

You have the power within you to think differently, to believe differently, and to become even more of what the world needs now.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying the training available to you every day through each interaction you have with other human beings—including those who live in the same house with you.

You may ask: What am I training for?

In every moment we live, we’re always “in the gym of life,” developing ourselves and the way we communicate with ourselves and with others.

Are you sometimes a HeadCase who could use some HeadSpace?

Every reputable athlete trains with a coach, so I started working with a life coach about 24 years ago.

Why?

Because it’s hard to see the picture when you’re in the frame.

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Even now, after all these years of self-reflection—with and without coaches—and gaining insight into what it means to be human, I find that the faster I move, the blurrier the world can become and the more likely I am to bump into things.

Unfortunately, those bumps can be hurtful to others and thus hurtful to me and my highest aspirations. And despite all my progress, during hard times, my old patterns of living are always there and so easy to fall back into—unless I consciously choose to walk the new paths that acquired wisdom has created.

And that takes effort.

In recent years, one of my coaches has urged me to develop a meditation practice, establishing a discipline around stopping, observing, emptying the mind, and simply being in the moment.

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Here’s an observation for you: When was the last time you were aware of your breathing?

It’s fascinating how something so necessary to life is so easily taken for granted. Miss a couple of breaths and you will most assuredly gain consciousness of the present moment.

Today, meditation is a regular daily practice for me. Every morning, I seek first the Kingdom of Heaven.

Martin Luther once said, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

While that may be a bit extreme, it certainly makes the point of how valuable it is to gain some HeadSpace.

Check out Headspace. You can download the app, and the guided meditations can help you gain a little more HeadSpace and be of immeasurable value, helping you become more intentional about how you live.

Try just 10 minutes a day and discover an increased measure of proactive intentionality.

Take 10 minutes to sharpen your axe.

Abraham Lincoln is often credited with saying, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”

You may find it to be the most valuable 10 minutes of your day.

Some may say, “Steve, my life is already so busy, I can’t afford 10 minutes.”

Well, that’s all the more reason to do it.

Consider a new engine that works at full capacity—it’ll work great for quite a while, but eventually it will need cleaning and lubrication so it can continue to produce at full capacity.

This week, find time to stop and step outside the frame. Sharpen your axe and clear your mind.

We’re approaching the last third of the year, a very busy time—and a wonderful time to fuel your engine with meditative rocket fuel every morning.

Gain some HeadSpace. Become less of a HeadCase—for your own sake and for those you seek to serve—and keep fueling your BEST YEAR EVER!

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and encouraged.

As August unfolds, let’s notice the weather getting a bit cooler as we transition into the beautiful season of fall. Many of us are excited for school to start so we can get back to our routines. Many parents describe summer as chaos, another word for Hell, as they scramble to figure out camps and childcare that look nothing like “the norm.”

This week we consider…

Living Hell-Yes!

During a climb in Joshua Tree National Park, my guide and coach, Matt Walker, shared with my climbing mates and me a very powerful insight I will never forget.

He said that while climbing a difficult rock face, there will be moments when you are caught between wanting to move upward and simultaneously wanting to move downward. He said, “Between Hell-Yes and Hell-No is just Hell.”

BOOM! 💥

Now, is that a powerful insight or what?

What a great insight to consider throughout our lives and to further fuel our best year ever. Why?

When you find yourself experiencing Hell, consider your choices.

Certainly, there are moments in life when Hell-No is not an option. And in those moments, if we choose to resist what “is” rather than embrace Hell-Yes, are we not choosing to live in Hell?

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If that’s the case, no doubt there is a lot to learn in Hell... primarily that it’s not an optimal place to live. Could another word for unhappiness simply be “resistance”?

We can whine away in Hell or find the strength to go that extra mile, exclaiming, Hell-Yes!

This Hell-Yes attitude reminds me of the book The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday, where the title alone says it all. [My review and other recommended books]

When life brings us tough times, as it certainly will, how might the experience be transformed with the mindset of Hell-Yes?!

Hell-Yes is a welcoming attitude… one more oriented toward life happening for you, rather than life happening to you. And as an ongoing theme of this team, how might we further develop the attitude of a Champion?

We may have different images of what a champion looks like, and ultimately, when you look in the mirror, I hope you see a champion. But when I put Hell and Champion together, I often think about our Navy SEALs.

Are you familiar with their brutal, to say the least, training program? Traditionally, only 15–20% of the enrollees graduate. The final week of their six-month training program is actually called “Hell Week.” Very little sleep is allowed between exercises—yes, allowed.

But in the middle of the camp, “the saving grace,” a sizable brass bell, hangs, calling those ready to quit to say Hell-No: ring it and receive relief from the tormenting training.

Extreme courage and mental toughness are needed to continue saying, “Hell-Yes! I can do this!” But those who maintain that attitude and act on it are true champions.

If you have decided that Hell-No is not an option for you, recommit with an attitude of Hell-Yes! Reach your mountaintop and stay out of a living Hell.

And any time that you may spend in Hell, consider it a necessary fire to burn away any lies that may be limiting you. Be patient in grief and, when the time feels right, stand tall and exclaim Hell-Yes!

To finish this amazing second half of 2026, consider spending as little time as possible between Hell-No and Hell-Yes. The experience of Hell has a purpose for us—maybe mostly to develop a Hell-Yes attitude.

And as Dr. Kevin Elko often encourages, ask not that life get easier; ask that we get stronger and that our best year is the year we own everything.

And to that, I say:

Hell-Yes!

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this message finds you well and, more importantly, attending to what is actually within your control.

People with a fixed identity spend their lives protecting who they think they are. People with a growth identity spend their lives becoming who they are capable of being.

That one realization has changed the way I see nearly everything.

Carol Dweck introduced us to the ideas of a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset. Her work has influenced millions of people, including me. Recently, however, I realized something. I don’t think it’s simply about mindset. I think it’s about identity.

A fixed identity says, “This is who I am.” A growth identity says, “This is who I am becoming.” One identity must constantly be defended, while the other is constantly being developed. A fixed identity experiences correction as rejection. A growth identity experiences correction as a gift. One protects. One becomes. That difference changes marriages, leadership, parenting, business, health—everything.

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A growth identity leaves room for grace, peace, and patience because mistakes no longer define you—they educate you. Someone living from a fixed identity hears correction and immediately thinks, “Something is wrong with me.” Someone living from a growth identity simply asks, “Interesting…what can I learn?” That is an entirely different way to live.

One of the biggest shifts in my own life has been realizing I don’t have to protect an identity. I don’t have to be “the keto guy,” “the successful guy,” or “the guy who’s always right.” I simply want to become. If better information comes along, wonderful. If someone offers correction, wonderful. If experience teaches me something new, wonderful. Growth welcomes new information. Protection resists it.

Here’s the beautiful part. A growth identity believes growth is available to everyone—including me. A fixed identity quietly believes growth is available to other people…just not to me. That’s why shame is so dangerous.

I’ve also noticed that people living from a fixed identity often become highly judgmental. Why? Because judging others temporarily strengthens the illusion that we’re okay. This way of living doesn’t need that. It already knows, I’m unfinished. I’m learning. I’m becoming. That realization creates compassion—not only for others, but for ourselves.

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Much of the relationship we have with ourselves was modeled for us. Self-critical parents often raise self-critical children. Unforgiving parents often raise unforgiving children. That doesn’t mean anyone is to blame. It simply means awareness creates freedom. When we understand our story, we gain the ability to write a different ending.

My own journey began when my parents divorced when I was eleven. Without realizing it, one question quietly began shaping my life:

Why do people do what they do?

That question led me into books, mentors, faith, philosophy, psychology, business, and eventually back to my father.

After thirty-three years of estrangement, we reconciled.

Today I’m driving to visit him as he battles leukemia.

Life has a remarkable way of bringing us full circle.

Understanding why healed something inside me that achievement never could.

I recently heard a professional athlete say something beautiful:

“I don’t control whether we win. I control whether I did my job.”

Exactly.

I don’t control outcomes.

I control preparation, effort, kindness, presence, integrity, meditation, training, nutrition, and learning.

Those belong to me.

The scoreboard doesn’t.

The other evening I broke one of my own disciplines. I stayed on Instagram too late. The next morning my stress data showed exactly what happened. Old Steve might have criticized himself. Growth Steve simply smiled and said, “That’s feedback.”

Not failure.

One of my favorite things to tell my kids when life goes sideways is simply this:

Live and learn.

Not, “This always happens to me.” Not, “Why me?”

Just… Live and learn.

Life works differently than school. In school, you learn and then take the test. In life, you get the test and then learn the lesson. If you don’t learn it, life lovingly gives you the test again.

Seneca encouraged us to live each day as though it were an entire lifetime. Imagine that. If today were your entire life, would you spend it protecting an identity or becoming? One percent wiser. One percent kinder. One percent healthier. One percent more forgiving.

Every rose begins with thorns, yet it is fully a rose before it ever blooms.

So are you.

Keep growing.

Keep becoming.

The world doesn’t need a perfected version of you.

It needs the version of you that is courageously becoming.

Live & Learn…and make it a great week.

Steve

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and encouraged. And if not, perhaps today is the day to become the change you want to see.

The insight I’m sharing this week has been one of the most transformative of my life.

As hunter gatherers, it’s deep in our DNA to hunt and to gather. I often think about it while walking through a grocery store or shopping mall.

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I find it interesting that shopping is statistically the number one activity during a vacation. Ah…more time to hunt and gather, and they even have free shipping :-)

We bring it all home with a sense of accomplishment, only to think about even more. Let’s face it, this human disposition supports us all as our economy is built on it. But when we really stop and think, we discover the opposite may be more true: less is more.

I moved to Chicago, at age 25,

38 years ago. Everything I owned fit in my 1985 Acura Hatchback. Today it would probably take a tractor-trailer to move everything I own. Thankfully, I’ve discovered the joy of letting much of it go. I’ve realized the memory often carries far more value than the possession itself.

Consider this question:

What is the most valuable thing you have to give to another person?

I’ve heard many answers to this question:

A prized material possession is rarely the response. The response is often: knowledge, wisdom, love, attention, quality time.

Let’s go a bit further:

How about giving your life?

I believe there is nothing more valuable than to give another person our life. Biblically it reads there is no greater gift a man can give than to lay down his life for his fellow man. While some have literally given their life for others, I wonder if there is another way we lay down our lives every day.

Isn’t our life, our attention?

Let’s consider for a moment what it means to be alive. If we were lying in a hospital bed, our body functioning perfectly, but with a brain that is no longer capable of consciousness.

Are we really alive?

Without consciousness, there is no life experience. Our life is not simply our heartbeat or our breathing. Our life is our awareness of being alive. Every moment we consciously experience is life itself. Which means our attention becomes our life’s currency. Wherever we spend it, we are literally spending our life.

We have only ever lived in this present moment. Never anywhere else.

Consciousness gives rise to awareness.

Awareness is experienced through attention. Attention is how we spend our life. Therefore, attention becomes our life’s currency.

Since our minds so often run the show, let’s take back the reins with some counter intuitive thinking:

We don’t have a past and

we don’t have a future.

We have a now, and only now.

Consider this line of reasoning:

There is no past, there is only a memory of what was present. And every memory is experienced only in the present. Which means memories either enrich this present moment or diminish it.

Okay, so why is there no future?

Maybe this is the more challenging consideration. But please bear with me.

Isn’t it true that we’ve never been to the future? The future is an imagination of what will come into the present. And like memory, our imagination can either improve this present moment or rob it of joy.

When we pay our attention, our life currency, in the present moment, the only moment we’ve ever paid it, to our memory or imagination, the quality of those memories and imaginations determine the quality of our life experience in the now. Taking on full responsibility for where we pay our precious attention is absolute rocket fuel for living a better life.

Better Trades, Better Life

Now this is easier said than done with so much in our modern world vying for our attention. If we are not careful, our lives can be consumed by those who profit from consuming our attention.

It can be very helpful to raise the value of our attention by recognizing that our attention is our life, our life currency. There is no greater gift we can give to another, short of our physical life, than to give our life currency, our attention.

Our attention is more valuable than our words. More valuable than our knowledge. More valuable than our possessions. Most possessions having been purchased by spending our attention-our life.

One of life’s greatest disciplines is simply paying attention to where we invest our attention.

Ask yourself often:

“Is what I’m getting worth my life?”

If not, don’t buy it.

Soon after this awareness came to me, I came across this incredible insight from Henry David Thoreau:

“The price of anything is the amount of your life you gave for it.”

These counter intuitive ideas may take a while to sink in, but I have found them to be transformative in my life. My trades have become much better, and thus my life has become much better.

Wayne Dyer famously said:

“Change your thoughts, change your life.”

I might add:

Change your attention, change your life.

Today is our Best Day Ever because it is our only day ever. We’ve never actually lived in yesterday, nor have we ever lived in tomorrow. We’ve only ever lived today. Spend today’s attention wisely. Make better trades, and you’ll build a better life. Your BEST LIFE EVER!

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well.

Last week we talked about holding the reins—choosing to let our thinking guide our circumstances rather than allowing our circumstances to guide our thinking.

But that raises another question:

Why is that so difficult?

Recently, I’ve been listening to Michael Pollan’s fascinating book A World Appears, exploring the mystery of consciousness.

One idea especially caught my attention.

Much of what becomes conscious to us begins with an interruption to our normal routine. Something changes. Something surprises us. Something doesn’t go according to plan.

Suddenly…we’re awake.

Perhaps that’s why we creatures of habit often prefer the smooth path of met expectations. We like the familiar. We like knowing what comes next.

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I’ve often wondered why Americans visiting places halfway around the world sometimes search for a McDonald’s. Is it because they make the world’s best hamburger? Or because after days of unfamiliar sights, sounds, foods, and customs, something familiar simply feels comforting?

Some have suggested McDonald’s became successful not merely because of the quality of the food, but because people knew exactly what to expect.

Yet here’s the irony.

If every expectation were perfectly met every single day, life would become really boring, really fast. Adventure requires uncertainty. Growth requires surprise. Discovery requires something we don’t expect.

Perhaps that’s why we set out on our adventures in the first place. Our emotions often reveal the relationship between our expectations and reality.

When reality exceeds our expectations, we usually experience gratitude, joy, excitement, or delight.

When reality falls short of our expectations, disappointment, frustration, and discouragement often follow.

Isn’t that interesting?

It seems almost too simple.

What if many of our emotional highs and lows are less about our circumstances than about the expectations we carry?

Which makes me wonder…if we simply lowered some of our expectations, would we experience more gratitude?

This realization alone can be incredibly freeing. And the expectations we create for ourselves often grow out of comparison.

Theodore Roosevelt famously observed: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Why do we so often compare ourselves to others? Perhaps because we spend so much of life asleep to our own thinking. The moment we lose awareness of our thinking, we’re lost in thought.

Our words reveal our thinking.
Our thinking shapes our feelings.
Our feelings influence our actions.

No wonder becoming conscious matters so much.

Without awareness, habit quietly takes over.

We begin reacting instead of responding.
We defend instead of learning.
We blame instead of growing.

Wayne Dyer often said: “Don’t should on yourself.”

I’ve always loved that line. A “should” keeps us trapped in the past, in yesterday.

It whispers:
“I should have known.”
“I should have done better.”
“I shouldn’t have made that mistake.”

But no amount of “shoulding” changes yesterday.

Leo Tolstoy wisely wrote: “Now is the only place we have any power.”

Every “should” feeds shame.
There is a significant difference between, “I made a mistake,” and, “I am a mistake.”
Those are two very different things.

We all make mistakes.
But we are not mistakes.
When shame takes over, we often become defensive.

We deny.
We blame.
We justify.

Not because we’re bad people, but because we’re trying to escape the pain of believing we are fundamentally flawed.

There is a better way.

Instead of asking, “Why did I do that?”, perhaps we simply ask, “What can I learn from that?”

Losing becomes learning.
Failure becomes feedback.
Success becomes humility.

Life begins looking less like a courtroom… and more like a classroom.

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Just as in school, life continues presenting the same lesson until we learn it.

The names may change.
The places may change.
The circumstances may change.

But the lesson quietly returns. Again and again.

Until we finally understand.

Perhaps the role of consciousness is simply to wake us up often enough to recognize the lesson before life has to teach it again.

Every day gives us another opportunity. To become a little more aware.

A little less reactive.
A little more curious.
A little less defensive.
A little more awake.

Because the quality of our lives is rarely determined by what happens to us. It is far more often determined by whether we are awake enough to learn from what happens.

Let’s live more consciously.
Let’s learn continually.
Let’s wake up.

And as we do, we’ll find ourselves holding the reins rather than surrendering them to circumstance…living more fully, more intentionally, and more confidently our

BEST LIFE EVER.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying summer.

I find it fascinating how certain ideas rise repeatedly until I finally give them my attention. Until I share them through writing or speaking, they seem to block the way for new insights to emerge. Here’s one that won’t leave me alone:

Am I in charge of the horse that pulls the cart of circumstance, or am I allowing the cart to get before the horse?

I enjoy working with analogies and metaphors, distilled wisdom passed down through the ages. There is often much more to discover when we dig a little deeper into them. Living life itself gives us a richer understanding of ideas we’ve carried for years.

A classic:

While we may want the cart (our outcomes) to reach its destination as quickly as possible, we must never forget the importance of the horse. Productivity and efficiency disappear when we forget that the cart was never meant to lead.

The reins of life are not found in our circumstances, but in the attention we give to our thinking.

The horse represents our conscious mind—our ability to choose our thoughts, direct our actions, and guide our lives. The cart represents our circumstances. One can be guided; the other can only be pulled.

As Dr. Roger Hall once said to me,

“Emotions belong on the bus, but not in the driver’s seat.”

Here, we’ve simply exchanged a bus for a horse pulling a cart, but the lesson remains the same.

Who is leading your horse?

The horse represents our intellect, experience, wisdom, and disciplines. We can guide the horse just as we can guide our actions, but we can’t completely control the cart behind it. Circumstances will always bounce along the road, but they need not determine our direction.

Sometimes the cart breaks free. Going downhill, gravity alone can quickly cause it to overtake the horse. We all know what that feels like emotionally when we’re triggered by circumstances.

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This is why consciousness matters. The moment we stop holding the reins of our thinking, our circumstances begin holding them for us.

If we grab hold of the reins and intentionally lead the horse, won’t the cart of circumstance eventually follow?

Why are we so often more focused on the cart than the horse?

If we let go of the reins and fix all our attention on the cart, there is no telling where that horse will take us—perhaps automatically back to the old barn of behavior we hoped we’d never visit again.

And if so, why?

Every time we allow the cart to get ahead of the horse, life is offering us a lesson—a reminder to return our attention to what we can actually guide.

Who holds the reins of your horse?

If you’ve given them away, I highly recommend you take them back.

Let the cart of circumstances bounce about behind the horse—and notice how the horse can continue moving slow and steady.

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But what about the outside factors?

The cold.

The heat.

The disappointments.

The criticism.

Are we merely thermometers, reflecting whatever surrounds us? Or can we become thermostats, setting the emotional climate wherever we go?

We can allow the bouncing cart of circumstance to drive our thinking, or we can take hold of the reins and intentionally guide our horse.

It’s our choice to live reactively or proactively.

Instead of allowing the unexpected to drive our emotions, produce reactive thinking, and shape our behavior, let us take hold of the reins. Let our emotions ride with us, but not drive us.

Let the circumstances bounce where they may behind us.

Let’s keep the horse—our intellect, our disciplined way of thinking—out in front. Notice how the horse we intentionally lead is far more likely to pull our circumstances in the direction we desire than an untended horse wandering wherever habit takes it.

Every day we answer one question:

Who is leading whom?

Is your thinking leading your circumstances, or are your circumstances leading your thinking?

Live intentionally.

Hold the reins firmly—not the reins of circumstance, but the reins of your own thinking.

Guide your horse.

Let the cart follow.

And you’ll find yourself living more on your terms…

living your BEST LIFE EVER.

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope you had a crazy-fun weekend celebrating our country’s 250th Birthday.

Thinking back 250 years to the courage those men had–to come together, draw a line and declare, “From this day forward, we will shape our own future”–seems a little crazy. I believe each of us has a little “good crazy” inside. So let’s look at why to embrace our crazy.

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We humans have a deep bias toward conformity–to fitting in and being accepted. It first emerges in childhood and often follows us into adulthood, where it can make it difficult to discover our unique gifts and bring them to the world. Why?

Deep down, our differences can concern us, especially if we have experienced any rejection for having them.

Even though we have the freedom to choose, we humans often prefer conformity rather than risk “freaking others out” with our distinctiveness. Most of us bury our unique gifts simply to fit in. Yet what one person dismisses as “crazy,” another admires as originality–or even genius. History reminds us that risking rejection is often the price of fully expressing who we are.

Consider the artists who were never appreciated during their lifetimes, yet whose work now hangs in museums, inspiring others beyond their lifetime.

Do you love your extremes?

Can you love your changing and shifting moods? Can you appreciate the emotions that awaken you to ask deeper questions? Consider seeking assistance to understand why, especially when your crazy may be limiting your possibilities rather than making them possible.

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Today, risking ridicule may be one of our greatest challenges. So many people are quick to judge and quick to define themselves by comparing themselves to others.

Unfortunately many take the path of not loving themselves, keeping alive past criticisms and rejection that can lead them to exact similar behaviors toward others. Hurt people hurt people.

However, by loving ourselves, and all of our eccentricities, we open up a powerful path to loving others and all of their eccentricities. Healed people heal people.

Consider, for example, how deeply passionate people can seem unsettling to those who prefer a quieter, more predictable existence. Think of Salvador Dali, whose unmistakable mustache became part of his artistic expression. Neither is wrong–just different.

Frankly, humanity is a remarkable stew of personalities. Each of us brings different ingredients. Some of us are a little spicier than others. Do you like your flavor? Are you bringing your full-on contribution to the whole? If not, why not? Do you enhance the collective meal or make it a bit more bland and un-tasty? There is nothing like harsh criticism, of ourselves and others, to sour our own meal. As an adult, feel free to be that coworker who thinks differently than the team; as I’ve mentioned in the past, leaders think differently, believe differently, and challenge the status quo.

Embracing our uniqueness, loving our eccentricities, and seeing perceived weaknesses as strengths can lead to a more empowering way of living. Caring less about what others think of us and more about how our thinking can serve others is a beautiful formula for life.

Embrace your good crazy.

Perhaps the goal isn’t to get others to notice our uniqueness. The goal is to use our uniqueness to better notice, appreciate, and serve the world around us.

Love all of who you are–even your quirks, contradictions, and complexities. The more completely you accept yourself, the more fully you’ll be able to love others and offer your unique gifts to the world.

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this message finds you well and celebrating the 250th anniversary of the adoption of our Declaration of Independence.

I often mention the importance of having a gratitude list and the benefits of starting our mornings reading and adding to that list daily. I hope today’s celebration made its way onto your gratitude list. Too often, we take for granted the abundance we’ve been given…many no longer appreciate the enormous price paid for our freedom.

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Celebrating our blessings is one of the purest expressions of gratitude.

I am especially grateful to celebrate this Independence Day, 250 years after the Declaration of Independence was adopted, declaring the American colonies free from Great Britain. Even more remarkable, I’ve had the privilege of living through one-quarter of our nation’s history.

It brings me so much joy to see my fellow Americans celebrate. The parades, the decorations, pies decorated with blueberries, strawberries, and whip cream to commemorate our flag. Then, every eye is delighted at the end of the day by the colorful fireworks that light up the sky with a dazzling variety or colors.
What a celebration! Especially this year.

One that we will remember the rest of our lives.

We are fortunate to be alive at a moment like this–to celebrate one of humanity’s greatest achievements.

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But, how many of us consider its historical significance, or even know the story? History teaches us so much and I believe this historical novel: “Rise to Rebellion” by Jeff Shaara ought to be required reading for every American, born or naturalized.

In honor of those who gave their lives to make our lives possible, consider making it a point to read or listen to this incredible book. The story of how we gained our independence is inspirational–and why it’s worthy of celebration every year.

Our founders fought for political freedom, but they did not achieve it alone. They depended on one another–through sacrifice, courage, shared purpose, and mutual trust. That may be one of the greatest lessons of our nation’s founding: while freedom was the goal, interdependence was the path that made it possible.

Yet here’s the beautiful irony: while we won our independence from England, we achieved it through interdependence. If each American had only looked out for himself or herself, with little to no consideration for others, we would not be celebrating our country’s independence.

As a Nation, we fought hard for independence, and interdependence helped us achieve freedom. Interdependence is the realization that we need others to achieve a goal, a goal as basic as creating a family, or as grand as becoming a people free from (English) oppression. It’s important to not confuse interdependency with co-dependency.
The human journey to maturity starts with dependency as a baby/child, and progresses toward independence as an adult–or at least it’s supposed to. Somewhere in this cycle, there is yet another level of maturity to embrace–as mentioned above: Interdependency.

As children, the adults in our lives pull the strings, and unfortunately those strings are often pulled in dysfunctional ways. Often, because of drama and chaos experienced in the family growing up, the child, now adult, can have a more fearful, self-protective view of the world. The realistic fears in childhood are often carried into adulthood with a continued need of dependency even though one is an independent adult. Without confidence, we begin believing that everything worth having depends on someone else. The result is often co-dependency: a childlike state carried into adulthood.

While we, as a Nation, have been independent from England for 250 years, since we’re on the topic, let’s consider our own independence, interdependence, or co-dependence.

Our founders secured our external freedom. The question for each of us today is whether we are experiencing that same freedom internally. Perhaps the greatest independence we can achieve is freedom from the fears, thoughts, and emotional patterns that quietly govern our lives.

One of my coaches, Dr. Curt Spear, defined co-dependence for me.

His definition is succinct and powerful: “Co-dependence is when we are dependent on an external state to achieve an internal state.” In other words, our internal peace and joy has become dependent on external factors: people, situations, circumstances–that are often out of our control. Co-dependency breeds fear and a kind of slavery to what might happen out of one’s control.

If you feel dependent on others to behave a certain way, or circumstances to unfold in a certain way, to be okay, consider practicing mindfulness. Consider getting the app called “Headspace” to start a meditative practice that will help set you free from habitual chains of thought.

Most people unknowingly live inside thought patterns that perpetuate fear and anxiety. Learn to see thoughts objectively, rather than subjectively.

This can bring great freedom.

Over identification with negative thoughts leads to more dependence than independence. For example, consider these differences:

Instead of saying:

“I am sad.”

Try saying:
“I am experiencing sadness”

Instead of saying:

“I am angry”

Try saying:
“I am experiencing anger”

One perspective leads toward bondage; the other toward freedom.

Shame can come from believing I AM this feeling while the other objective view can bring patience, compassion and understanding for oneself.

Once you start this practice of noticing thoughts and turning it into a mindful practice, you will notice relief from an unacknowledged burden and I promise you others will also notice a difference in you.

It just takes a desire for greater freedom and independence from thought; not a co-dependence on right thoughts versus wrong thoughts. Here’s a fun challenge for the next two weeks: every time someone around you–especially your children or a fellow Why Team member–defines themselves as being a negative emotion, help them see it’s just a feeling they are experiencing Now…

Consider this mind blowing idea:

You can’t be that which comes and goes. You can only be that which remains.

I encourage you to constantly tell yourself, especially during rough times:

I AM HERE. Everything else has come to pass. These thoughts will pass as well.

Metacognition: thinking about what we think about is a gateway to independence and healthy interdependence with others. One only needs to observe the world around us today to see those lost in thoughts–and acting out accordingly.

Our country may be suffering more from this malaise than at any other time in history. Now more than ever, may we consider what Gandhi suggested:

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”

Throughout history, we learned how important freedom is:

Freedom of speech.

Freedom of expression.

Freedom of religion.

Freedom to love.

Freedom to pursue worthy work.

The freedoms secured by our founders, gave us the opportunity to build meaningful lives. The freedom we cultivate within our ourselves determines how fully we will live them.

Even more so, now, I encourage you to work towards your own freedom. Consider this Independence Day how independent or dependent you have become. Are you dependent on circumstances to unfold a certain way, or others to behave and act a certain way, for you to be okay? If so, give yourself some grace, you’re not alone, and just notice the thoughts that come and go–you are so much more than those thoughts. Free yourself from burdens of negative emotions. Let freedom ring–not only across our nation, but within your own heart.

Achieving a healthy interdependence with others, collaboratively supporting each other, but not through co-dependency is truly worth celebrating–and is how we won our Independence, signed and dated 250 years ago today. How cool is that?!

Here is wishing you your Best Interdependence Day Ever!

Make it a wonderful celebration.

It’s worthy of our deepest gratitude.

Cheers!
Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying the final days of June.

Last week I recommended one of my favorite books: The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday.

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Every day presents challenges–some significant, others relatively small. Our growth is measured not only by how we overcome those challenges, but by whether we’re willing to go the extra mile to learn from them. This week we ask...

Why The Extra Mile?

The story goes that when the Jewish people were ordered by the Romans to go a distance, they were inspired to go an extra mile.

Why?

Perhaps it was to remind themselves that they could still choose. The choice to go less than the distance required was not an option, but there were other choices to make, that were within their power.

Choosing to go farther by their own free will transformed an act of oppression into an act of personal choice. In choosing the extra mile, they were already a step ahead.

Why?

No matter what you are being asked to do - or may feel required to do - doing the minimum under a feeling of duress will be far harder than exercising your power of choice. And what becomes a priority, in extreme conditions–even a priority bigger than food and shelter?

Freedom

As long as I’m free to choose, I can endure much.

It’s possible the leaders of the group maintained morale by encouraging the group to go an extra mile, empowering them to maintain a spirit of ownership that eventually gave them the courage to try to break free from oppression.

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In modern times, why do people with addictions often join group therapy sessions? Because recovery begins when people stop seeing themselves as victims of their circumstances and begin seeing themselves as owners of their choices.

Importantly, the person choosing to go above and beyond is the main beneficiary of the choice. There’s little doubt their choices positively influence so many around them. That’s how leaders are born.

There are those who get after it, living a proactive and empowered life, and then there are those who resist and resent, living reactively disempowered lives.

Most successful people do more than is expected. More importantly, they think differently. They choose excellence rather than settling for “good enough.”

Jim Collins wrote in Good to Great that “good is the enemy of great.” When we’re satisfied with good enough, greatness becomes impossible.

Whether or not we meet others’ expectations is ultimately beside the point. The better question is whether we’re living up to our own.

Our upbringing certainly shapes us. Some people credit loving families that encouraged them to dream without limits. Others were driven by difficult circumstances and refused to let those circumstances define them.

The people who inspire us most rarely chose the easier road.

Our natural tendency is to choose the path of least resistance, but through our power of choice, we can live more on our terms, aligned with our highest aspirations, embracing all that life has to offer.

In his book, The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho presents it in this manner: “Your life is not where you’ve come from, but what you do with the days before you (…) Life is the moment we live in right now; live the present moment as if you live the lessons of the past and the dreams of the future.”

Decide what you truly want.

Ask whether it has heart.

Then choose the extra mile–not because someone demands it, but because something inside you does.

This is your life. Make it count. Then walk one more mile… and marvel at where it takes you.

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying the beginning of summer. It’s been a while since I recommended a book, so I thought I’d share one of my favorites this week: The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. The title alone serves whether you read the book or not. It’s natural that we would not choose the obstacle, but why?

[This title, along with a list of all my Recommended Books is here]

From my own experience, we’re afraid of what the obstacle will require of us. And putting ourselves out there is getting out of our comfort zone, and that creates anxiety and fear. Ironically, fear of failure is why most people fail. But like the authors of Think like a Freak suggest: “look at failure through the eyes of a scientist. If someone already tried and failed, that’s great news because no one has to lose any more time to try that avenue.”

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Consider dropping the word failure altogether and replacing it with feedback.

What if you knew you could not fail?

What is possible for you if failure is not possible? Learning? Growth?

Why are so few people today setting New Year’s resolutions? I believe it’s because our culture has changed the definition of success from process to results–and because of that shift, many people are succeeding less, or worse, racing toward a destination without enjoying the journey.

If you haven’t yet, make it a daily discipline to invest time recognizing the abundance around you and reflecting on the obstacles you may be avoiding. Consider going deep into the present moment with family and friends, but notice the distractions. How many of them are obstacles you don’t want to face? I love the line that what we don’t face stays in our face. Consider jotting down those distractions and asking why they encroach upon your life in the present moment. Find the courage to break down each obstacle and with an open mind, cultivate the good within the challenge and transform the obstacle into a learning experience that fuels your growth.

It’s interesting how we must think beyond all the reasons we think we can’t do something to entertain the thoughts of what we could do.

Consider the classic question:

It’s difficult to move beyond the bars of our self-created prisons if we are not willing to admit the bars’ presence.

When the idea of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro was proposed to me, I immediately thought of all the responsibilities of my life and how full my schedule always seems to be. But with Why questions we can dig deep into seeing our own self-imposed obstacles.

Why would anyone construct a cage in which to live?

These cages built to keep us safe can also serve to trap us.

Why do we construct our lives in ways that limit rather than propel us forward?

Do you serve your work or does your work serve you and your highest aspirations? What are your highest aspirations?

Why not write them down?

The moment I heard myself say I can’t leave to climb Kilimanjaro, I knew it wasn’t true.

It’s not “I can’t”; it’s “I choose.”

“I can’t” implies that it’s impossible.

“I choose” is to own our choices and through ownership, we are empowered to make different choices.

Saying yes to the journey put in motion everything that was needed to make it possible.

Worry less about the way and focus more on the Will and the Why, for they will reveal the Way.

And your Why may be to simply remind you that it is your life and you have the power to choose.

Most people would agree that they stopped making New Year’s Resolutions because they ultimately didn’t adhere to them.

Why?

Research has revealed that February 26th is the most depressing day of the year.

Why?

Because by that day, about 85% of New Year’s Resolutions have been broken.

Why?

Well, the answer is multifaceted.

Biologically we burn a lot of glucose when we think. Thus, thinking can exhaust us. When we set too many Resolutions and consider all the work that will be necessary, we can exhaust ourselves to the point of inaction - hence the thought “I can’t.” Just as I did, take your obstacles and ask yourself why you see them as obstacles and what it will take to overcome them. Paulo Coelho noted that “We won’t love what we don’t know and we won’t work for what we don’t love.” Know the obstacles and projects in your way, and you may learn that they’re not so hard to complete.

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As you consider all the potential adventures and projects you might want to complete and experience by the end of the year, it will be helpful to choose your top three or four and to assign a specific time in which you will apply singular focus.

I have yet to decide when and what mountain I will climb next, but I am already excited about the adventure and the challenge. I climbed a lot as a kid; I was always in a tree or on the roof of our house. But for over 40 years I never climbed more than the occasional indoor climbing wall - then in October of 2016, with the help of a great guide, I climbed a route called Geronimo in Red Rocks Canyon outside of Las Vegas. It was absolutely among the most amazing days of my life. Nothing like being on a rock face hundreds of feet off the ground to bring you fully into the present moment. That experience led to climbing Mt. Baker’s glacier in 2017 and Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2018.

What did you absolutely love doing as a child, and how could you bring more of those activities into your life today?

Perhaps adversity is not something to avoid, but something to choose–because it is often the price of growth, adventure, and a life fully lived.

Everything is possible to those who believe in the possibilities. No harm in writing down your wildest dreams. I hope you will begin your list this week.

“Live until you Die.”
- Bessie Fensler (age 90)

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying Summer.

Last week, I shared how, despite getting lost in the woods, I opened myself to the adventure of finding my way back, and learning from the unbeaten path. Being in nature is always impactful to me. The leaves, the deep roots of tall trees, the chirping of birds–the melody of nature, invigorates me.

When is the last time you stopped to listen to birds sing?

This week we simply ask:

This may be a simple question, but there is certainly no simple answer. Consider our overachieving world today. It’s full of noise. While much of it is helpful, we constantly hear how to improve and optimize our lives, become more effective and efficient, and accomplish more and more. Think about stories or movies you’ve seen from the past, there’s less noise and much more music.

But does music fit into an achievement focus?
Why is music important at all?
Why do we enjoy it as much as we do?

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I believe it’s because life itself has a rhythm. If we would slow down enough to listen, there is always music; in the blowing leaves in the trees, certainly the singing of the birds, and in the beats of our hearts.

I believe music is more important than ever because it brings us into the present moment–where life is lived. A mind overly focused on past experiences can bring depression and if overly focused on the future can bring anxiety.

For many years, I’ve incorporated music into my morning ritual, and it charges me up for the day. I often begin early wake-up days by listening to classical guitar—keeping it at a peaceful low volume. The day will bring more than enough words, not to mention those that too early can crowd out a peaceful morning.

Among my very first thoughts in the morning is a request to “grow and give” with the reminder that to inspire others to an abundant life, I am called to live one.

Then to the gym, I crank it up, a great beat fires me up. I play my favorite playlist titled Fun Fuel.

If I’ve learned anything this past year, it’s that life is best lived in celebration.

Nothing like enthusiasm and enjoyment to fuel a best day ever.

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All three of my children love music.
I asked each of them why music was important to them. My oldest son Gavin, now age 25 said that music touches him more deeply than words alone could accomplish. He said music is a more profound language than speech. When something is expressed through music, it carries a deeper impact. He also experiences how certain music connects him to his heritage in ways he can’t describe. Music is deeply personal to him.

My daughter Gabrielle, now 23, became particularly excited by the question. Here is what she had to say about music:
“Music isn't just important to me it's my passion, it's my inspiration, it's my tears of sadness, it's my happiest moments of joy. Music can bring me back to reality and take me away from it! Music is what you make of it! At least for me, each song gives a vibe, and this vibe can bring up emotions of joy, feelings of longing, loneliness. Music is a way of life. Music is everything in life expressed through instruments, sounds, rhythm, and rhyme! Music says things that just can't be said verbally or in writing. Music is different, special, unique, music is me!”

And from my youngest son Grayson, now age 21: “Music feels important in my life, from jazz to pop to rap, music resonates in your body and fits the mood you’re in.
Studies have shown that our heart rate often synchronizes with strong musical rhythms. Music can express a story, a whole life experience, a day, and is relatable. Music can bring back memories, and help you deal with things that happened in the past. Music is motivating and powerful. Think far back to your ancestors, the tribal ceremonies, the solid beat of a drum, feeling the steady repetition of the beat. Music has always been important and influential throughout history and reveals emotions. Music is powerful and can be important and helpful in your life.”

Why is music important to you?
Why does your playlist contain the songs it does?
Why not turn to your music all-the-more when the past and future move you from the present moment?
Consider being even more intentional with music in your life; allow it to soothe you and of course to pump you up.

In Africa, at the end of every long day climbing Kilimanjaro, the locals guides sang and danced with an enthusiasm that was truly inspiring to witness. They celebrated life. Their cares and worries were set aside with song and dance.

Music reminds us that there is far more to life than merely thinking about it.
Music can return us to the present moment, reconnect us to the glorious rhythm of life, and help bring us together.

Wishing you more joy through music.
Make it a great, music-filled week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team Member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and ready for your next adventure.

As the school year ends, many of us are looking forward to those summer vacations, those adventures that will take us somewhere new or familiar, where we get to make new memories and decompress from our daily routines.

This past week, I had the opportunity to spend a few days hiking the mountains around Stowe, Vermont. Some of the trails were steep and demanding, requiring long climbs and careful footing. At one point, we lost the trail entirely and found ourselves bushwhacking through the woods in search of our way home.

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As is often the case, the mountain offered far more than exercise.

Adventure has always fascinated me because of the metaphors it reveals.

There is courage required to go where you have not gone before. There is uncertainty. There is risk. There is the possibility of getting lost. And sometimes, when the trail disappears, there is nothing left to do but make your own.

Yet what struck me most upon returning home was not the adventure itself, but what came after.

One of my coaches, years ago, taught me not to overlook the period of transition that follows a significant experience.
At the time, I did not fully appreciate what he meant.
Today I do.

The adventure changes our circumstance. Integration changes us.

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When we are immersed in an adventure, we are often completely present. Climbing a mountainside demands attention. Each step matters. Where you place your foot matters. The mind is no longer wandering through memories of the past or anxieties about the future. It is absorbed by the moment. This is part of what makes adventure so powerful.

It pulls us out of the boxes we build:
The routines.
The habits.
The structures.
The predictable patterns of daily life.

Almost every time I go on a meaningful adventure with my friend and guide, Matt Walker, I find myself saying the same thing:
"Thank you for getting me out of the house."
I mean that both literally and metaphorically.

We spend much of our lives inside walls of our own construction. Some of those structures serve us well. Our routines and disciplines can be powerful allies. But there is something about stepping into unfamiliar territory that awakens us.

It was this idea that first drew me to Matt years ago when he spoke about what he called "Adventure Learning”.
There are lessons that only adventure can teach.

Voluntarily choosing challenge often comes from a desire to know ourselves more deeply. To discover our strengths, our weaknesses, our fears, our resilience, and our potential.

Yet what has become increasingly clear to me is this:
The growth does not happen only during the adventure.
The growth happens afterward.

Just as muscles are not built during the workout but during recovery, the lessons of adventure are not fully learned on the mountain. They are learned afterward through reflection, integration, and conscious awareness.

The adventure provides the stimulus.
The integration of the experience creates the transformation.

The same is true for exercise, for relationships, for meaningful conversations.
The same is true for spiritual experiences.
The same is true for life.

The experience itself opens the door.
Integration is what allows us to walk through it.

As I write this, having recently returned home, I find myself reflecting on how often we rush past this critical phase.
We finish the trip. We complete the project. We return from vacation. We leave the seminar. We end the conversation. We finish the workout.
And then we immediately rush back into our routines.
Perhaps… too quickly.

Perhaps the real wisdom is found in allowing space for the experience to settle.
Allowing the nervous system to recover, new perspectives to emerge, new connections to form.
So many of us, after returning from a vacation, say half-jokingly, “I need a vacation after the vacation.” And there is truth in that. We could all benefit from a brief staycation after the vacation—a period of recovery and reflection that allows new lessons to become part of who we are. Is not recreation key to re-creation?

The summit provides a view that is difficult to see from the valley.
From above, many of life's irritations suddenly appear much smaller than they did before.
Adventure has a way of helping us remember what matters.

Why Adventure?

To grow.
To learn.
To become more capable.
To discover what we are made of.
To gain new eyes with which to see.
To enter the unknown voluntarily and discover what awaits us there.

Because our potential often lies in the unknown–in the unfamiliar.

The greatest growth may not occur during the adventure itself, but in the quiet days that follow, when we take the time to integrate what the adventure came to teach us.

May we not miss the recovery.
May we not miss the integration.
May we not miss the growth.

Adventure > Recovery > Integration > Growth

Life itself is an adventure.
Embracing uncertainty with curiosity, courage, and an adventurous mindset is rocket fuel for living our BEST LIFE EVER.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

Today, I am blessed to celebrate my 63rd birthday. What an incredible life I’ve been privileged to live. As I look back across the years, I am overwhelmed with gratitude–for the joys, the struggles, the victories, the setbacks, and all the lessons I’ve learned.

No better day than today to reflect on life and how to live it more meaningfully.

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One of life’s hardest realizations is discovering that something we pursued for years–did not provide the lasting fulfillment we expected. But these moments offer a gift: the opportunity to change course while time remains.

For me, for example, when I shifted from selling to serving, early in my career, my life became so much more rewarding.

In moments of disillusionment, one is faced with the choice to ignore and deny the truth or make a course correction in their life, as hard as it may be to stand up and begin again.

Why begin again?

Because today we still have time.
Every day can be a new-birth day ;-)

This week’s Why Team Weekly was inspired by me reviewing, in as much detail as possible, my entire life.

An awareness arose as I noticed the repeated disciplines I have established and put into my calendar year after year for nearly 40 years. How many years have I behaved as an immortal? How many opportunities have I missed for gratitude?

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If you are like me and like to plan out your years in advance. What we put into our calendars is always just a plan, a guide, a map, of course; there is an old saying stating that the plan we make at home, hardly ever matches to the one we end up making in the marketplace–meaning, life inevitably delivers its variety of interventions.

As I reviewed my calendar, a startling realization appeared:

I looked at all the days we have given a name: Tuesday, Wednesday, and all the months we have named, March, June. Then I looked at the numbers we assign to each day: the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd.

Our days are truly numbered–literally and figuratively.

I suddenly awoke to the fact that one day, in one of my years, hopefully far into the future, will simply be my last physical day on Earth.

What day of the week will it be?
Will it be a Tuesday, a Saturday?
In what month and in what year will I die?
My birth-date is June 2nd, 1963
What will be my death-date?

Wow, I had never thought of it that way–that all the plans I will have made beyond the day of my death will be meaningless, and my possessions worthless–to me, anyway.

Surprisingly, I found this thought liberating.

Why?

Being reminded that our days are numbered can fuel us to be all the more grateful for each new day we are given. The experience also caused me to consider what is most meaningful, what will live on beyond my physical body?

For centuries, people embraced the practice of Memento Mori—
“Remember, you must die.”
Not as a morbid exercise.
But as a meaningful one.

Remembering death was intended to help people fully appreciate life. Hence the “why” behind today’s message.

In the ancient text, we are invited to count our days. I think the reason why, is to remember that our days alive are truly numbered. And maybe to fuel gratitude for each new day we get to live.

I am confident that if I live more Memento Mori in the years to come than in the past, my remaining days will be filled with more meaning… knowing that when it comes to my days on Earth, one day will be my last.

Death is, after all, what makes life so precious. Whatever age you find yourself, it helps to remember that it’s an age denied to many.

Henry James Once wrote,

“Live all you can, it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you had your life; if you haven’t had that, what have you had? What one loses, one loses, make no mistake about it. The right time is: anytime that one is still so lucky to have. LIVE!”

Start Now Your Best Life Ever, remind yourself more than ever, that each and every day we awake, that waking up itself is first and foremost our greatest gift of all, all other gifts being meaningless if we don’t awake.

When you go to bed tonight, consider what would truly matter if you didn’t wake up, and put more of your focus on those things when you awake the next morning.

Every Christmas season I endeavor to watch Charles Dickens, “A Christmas Carol.” Oh, to live like Scrooge lived the morning he awoke with a second chance, to have seen clearly the lack of meaning in so much of his sleep-walking life and to awaken to what matters most. Having clearly seen the path he was on, and to be given another chance, is a gift available to each one of us every morning we awake.

Consider saying out loud, just three words, every morning, when you are born again to consciousness, and see if your life doesn’t become markedly better. Simply say: BEST DAY EVER

Live more Memento Mori to further fuel your Best Year Ever–knowing that being alive NOW is your greatest gift ever;
Don’t waste it!

This birthday, I am reminded that life’s greatest gift is not wealth, status, achievement, or even success.
It’s simply another day.
Another sunrise.
Another chance.
Another opportunity to love, learn, serve, grow, forgive, and begin again.

One day will be our last.
But today is not that day.
So let us live today fully.
Let us love deeply.
Let us count our blessings.

Let us remember that the only day we ever get to fully live is today!

And the more deeply we awaken to that truth, the more likely it is to become our BEST DAY EVER!

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and that you enjoyed your Memorial Day Weekend.

This week we mindfully consider the following: Why awaken?
Why pursue higher consciousness?

Consider your mindful versus mindless actions. Which are more likely to align with your higher aspirations?

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Why we humans do what we do has been a source of endless fascination to me, leading me into the world of sociology, psychology, philosophy, and science.
An Ancient Greek aphorism encourages us to “Know Thyself." Why?

Wow, that's intense.

Considering my own journey, however, I have to agree. It's amazing I even survived my early mindless years. While I have a lot of fun memories, upon reflection, I know I was largely running scared; it's amazing how fast you can run when you think you're being chased by a lion.

I thought—or rather, mindlessly behaved—as if running fast enough would keep me from being consumed. The irony being that this mindless approach was all-consuming. Maybe this is where we insert the line...

...”Fake it till you make it.”

Make what? Make more?
More of what?
More of a life that is worth living?
A life filled with joy? A life at peace with the impermanence of all things—open to what each new day will bring?!
Hmm, maybe this will require a more mindful approach.

Is being mindful at all times exhausting? Great question! Maybe. I can’t say I really experienced it, or that anyone has for long periods of time.

Why?

Because mindfulness is observing the present, recognizing our current emotions, and focusing on them. But then, all of a sudden, life shifts our focus, and our subconscious—or mindless self—takes the shape of the last emotion we were conscious of, influencing our behavior from there. If the current emotion wasn’t powerful enough to change our mindless state, then we revert to a comfortable mindless state that dictates our emotional state until we become mindful of the way we act and react to the world around us.

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Think no further than the last drive you took. When you got to your destination, you realized you had been preoccupied by so many other things while “driving,” yet nonetheless, you made it there safely.

We humans are herd creatures. If we think like the herd, we'll behave like the herd.

Are the majority happy and living fulfilling lives?

When I was 23 years old, I heard a recording that changed my life. It was the first spoken-word record that sold over one million copies. It was titled "The Strangest Secret in the World" by Earl Nightingale. It's timeless and gave birth to my mindfulness.

Forever after, I embraced and rejoiced in my different way of thinking. Listen to the recording and you will too. And for a higher awareness into the nature of your mind and its machinations, consider reading the book titled “The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer. It's off the charts, extremely helpful to one's pursuit of mindfulness.

We have all heard about good and bad habits ad nauseam. What is rarely discussed is how mindlessly, or mindfully, they were developed. The mind prefers habit. Habits conserve energy; they are efficient and also a way to keep us safely in the herd—or so the mind thinks. We all have habits that were mindlessly developed and those that were mindfully developed, of course, I'm sure you can guess the source of the limiting habits versus those that have been empowering.

So, consider making the conscious effort, at least during this week, to become more mindful of your thoughts and transform them into positive ones when they are not, thereby creating a more positive mindless track.

Also, align yourself with positive, successful people, and being part of the herd won’t be so bad.

Why is this awareness important?

Because, as Simon Sinek says,
“Leaders think differently, believe differently, and challenge the status quo."

Make no mistake, the status quo is "what and how”—what to do and how to do it.
Leaders leverage the question why to think differently. Leaders are more mindful as to why they do what they do.

As a Why Team member, this is your charge: to think differently in service to others. Your mindful actions can serve those who may be suffering under the yoke of habitual, mindlessly developed behaviors. Please read and/or listen to the above recommendations to further fuel the mindful work you do each and every day.

This week, let’s bring more mindfulness into our days, being more present for ourselves and those around us, and we’ll no doubt live our Best Week Ever.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team Member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well, attentive to the little things.

Lately, I’ve been noticing the bees again.

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Not in some grand, dramatic way. Just the ordinary kind of noticing. The kind that happens when you slow down enough to hear the hum near a patch of clover… or pause while walking the land and realize life is quietly happening all around you.

I’ve always enjoyed seeing bees on the farm.

There’s something about them that feels honest to me. Purposeful. They don’t seem interested in applause. They simply go about their work, serving something bigger than themselves. Gathering. Building. Pollinating. Sustaining.

And somehow, in doing what they were created to do, they help all the rest of us live too.

Hence, this week we consider…

Why Bee?

A bee does not wake up asking:
“How can I impress the world today?”

It simply lives its role.

Flower by flower.
Field by field.
Day by day.

There’s wisdom in that.

Many of us spend enormous energy trying to be seen, validated, or understood, while the bee quietly reminds us that meaning is often found in contribution, not attention.

The beautiful thing is this:
Most of the important work in the world happens almost invisibly.

A parent encouraging a child.
A neighbor checking in on someone struggling.
A friend listening carefully.
A teacher staying late.
A nurse showing kindness.
A worker doing honest work when no one is watching.

Pollination takes many forms.

And often the people changing the world the most are not the loudest, they are simply faithful.

Recently, I’ve also noticed more people around Cincinnati letting parts of their lawns grow a little wild. More native flowers. Less obsession with perfection. At first glance, some might think:
“They’ve let the yard go.”

But maybe they haven’t let it go at all.
Maybe they’ve finally understood something deeper.

Maybe they’ve realized that not everything beneficial appears polished.

That sometimes serving the greater good looks a little messier than the neighborhood expects.

I think there’s an important lesson there for all of us.

Sometimes we judge too quickly because something doesn’t match our conditioning of what “good” is supposed to look like.

But underneath the surface, life may be flourishing.

Bees, of course, have been having a harder time in recent years. Weather patterns shift. Seasons feel different. Flowers bloom at unfamiliar times. Dry stretches linger longer. Ecosystems strain in ways most of us barely notice while moving through our busy lives.

And yet, the bees continue.

Doing what they can with what they have.

There’s wisdom there too.

Not panic.
Not outrage.
Not despair.

Just awareness.
Care.
Adaptation.
Perseverance.

Perhaps one of the great invitations of life is not merely to consume the beauty around us, but to participate in sustaining it.

To leave things a little better for others.
To create conditions where life can flourish after we pass through.

The bee reminds me that small acts matter.

A single bee seems insignificant. But a thriving field depends on thousands of tiny unseen interactions happening every day.

Maybe humanity works that way too.

Maybe encouragement matters more than we realize.
Maybe kindness spreads further than we think.
Maybe integrity pollinates.

And maybe the question isn’t simply:
“What do I get from life?”

When I see bees moving across the farm now, I find myself grateful.

Grateful for quiet service.
Grateful for unseen work.
Grateful for small things carrying enormous importance.

And perhaps that’s part of wisdom:
Learning to value what hums beneath the noise of the world.

Bee well, my friend.

With gratitude,
Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well, feeling loved and loving others.

The moment I considered writing on love, I felt how daunting a task it may be. But when I acknowledged my resistance—the temptation to write on another topic—I knew the direction I will choose: not away from what is difficult, but toward it.

The Why Team is all about the “Why”. And there is no greater “Why” than “Love.”

Love is why I’m writing about love at all.

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Isn’t it because we love each other that we help each other? I love the insight that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. Isn’t our greatest emotional suffering the feeling that we’re not loved? Why are we so quick to accuse others of not being loving? And how loving are we to be so accusing?

Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do. Wow, how loving is that?

We live in a world with so many desperate for love. So many looking for evidence they’re loved. But I’ve discovered that love is more a verb, an action we do for others, rather than something others do for us.

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To love or to be loved—that is the question.

And the answer may best be found in where one has control. We certainly cannot force another to love us, we may even jump through hoops in the hope that they will, but does anyone want a love that requires we behave and perform in a certain way?

I love to love. I love to be loving. And it feels to me that I cannot out-give love.

I’m aware that there are various forms of love:

Eros: passionate love
Philia: deep friendship
Pragma: enduring love
Ludus: playful love
Agape: universal love

Much of human suffering could be placed at the feet of feeling unloved. There was a time in my childhood, soon after my parents’ separation, that I remember how much I just wanted someone to tell me they loved me. I know now that I interpreted love as safety. If a grown up loved me, they would protect me. It’s no wonder that children of divorce or unstable homes are often out the door early, seeking stability and safety on their own. And they often delay marriage until later in the hope of not making their parents’ mistakes.

I’ve had thousands of hours of coaching, therapy, mentoring—and am a huge fan. Learning about oneself and why we do what we do is an incredibly fascinating endless adventure. The Why Team is mostly about giving to you what has been so generously given to me. I ascribe to the belief that to whom much is given, much is required. I’ve received so much understanding and have experienced so much peace from the insights I’ve received, I so want others to have that peace as well. It’s given my hardships purpose.

When in the oven of life, we can use the heat to bake like bread—and perhaps become sustenance for others.

How beautiful is that thought?

How might this way of thinking turn the heat into a blessing?

Our tests can become our testimony.

I think it a bit much to ask that we love all that life gives us, and for many probably, too much to even be thankful for our adversities. But if we are truly here to serve others to our fullest capacity, would that not require hardship of our own? Is not our ability to give love affected by our ability to receive love?

It’s hard to give what you don’t think you deserve.

When it comes to lies that limit, maybe there is no greater lie than to believe we are not worthy of love. That we must earn love, that we must behave in accordance with the desires of others to believe we’re worthy of love. Why is this so limiting? Because the demands of others have no limiting principle.

We cannot quench an insatiable thirst with performance.

I believe the most healing and fulfilling love is forgiveness. We all fall short of the glory of God. To receive full forgiveness for all our past mistakes, and even our future mistakes, is a feeling beyond what any human can provide.

I can only speak to my own journey and experience. My capacity to forgive others, to see them beyond any worldly identity, is born from my deepest healing beliefs. To whom much is given—and no greater gift than forgiveness as far as I’m concerned—much is required—not from compulsion, but from desire.

To increase our capacity to love, let us relax and receive more fully the love that heals—a forgiving love that keeps no accounts.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Consider each new day loving THE ONE—that one person who crosses your path that may need your love more than you know. Just give them your full attention, your life currency. And imagine the change we might create by loving one more person with each new day we are given.

Attending to our hearts, receiving forgiveness, and receiving the love that heals will absolutely make us more loving—and very likely make life better for ourselves and others. Even while in the oven, bake like bread to become what others may need most on their journey.

This week, let us be even more loving, and we’ll no doubt make it a great week.

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team Member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well and enjoying spring—the season of rebirth, of vigor. It’s inspiring to see people outside—walking, running. You can tell that some have just started, while others have been at it for a while. As someone who trains regularly, I can attest to the power of vision and discipline—to see beyond the pain of new beginnings. Hence, this week we consider...

Why No Pain, No Gain?

We are either improving or declining, growing or dying—if not literally, then emotionally and psychologically.

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The gym—where “No pain, no gain is most often heard—is the prime example.
Beyond the obvious physical pain—intentionally applied to build strength, endurance, and life-enhancing chemistry—consider the psychological pain required to establish an exercise discipline in the first place. Those who have trained for many years have long concluded that exercise is so life-giving, it is no longer optional:

With so many pleasures at our fingertips, choosing pain has become more difficult—as we design our lives for maximum comfort with minimal effort.

I have heard for years comments similar to this one:

“It must be nice, but for me, it comes at too high a price.”

Most people want to grow, but growth is change and change is rarely easy. Change can trigger a deep, subconscious reminder of death—the old dying to make way for the new.

For most of us, change means pain.

It is said that we will not choose the pain of change until we perceive that the pain of change will be less than the pain of staying where we are.
The operative word here is “perceive.” Many miss the benefits of change because they undervalue them. Why? Because many benefits from change cannot be fully quantified in advance of the change and certainly cannot be fully experienced until the change has been made.

Newton explained it simply:
A body at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by a force.

Are you comfortably numb?

Self-analyze: Are you so comfortably at rest that you have become numb to outside forces?
Nothing like a huge life change, usually a painful change, to rid ourselves of numbness and empower us to feel again, to live again. But, for many, this is rarely a choice made voluntarily. Those going through great change often share that they’ve never felt more alive—once they release the fear of it.

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While I’m not suggesting you make any radical changes in your life, I am inviting you to no longer fear them. When we awaken to the fact that only lies can die, who wouldn’t want to experience a life filled with more truth and thus more freedom?

Pain of change? Yes.
Life is difficult—but the pain can be made less when we consider more the Gain; there is more aliveness in the midst of change, more connectedness with others and when you are more oriented to the gain, you are more likely willing to choose the pain.

Cost is only an issue in the absence of value.

For whatever it is that you would like to accomplish, weigh not just the cost (the pain), but more-so the value (the gain).

While many prefer the devil-they-know to the one they don’t, it’s often because they assume the devil they don’t know will be worse. The error is in the assumption—the devil they don’t know is likely not a devil at all - and has just become another rational lie to avoid the pain of change. Maybe this is what it truly means to rationalize.

Those who live: “better safe than sorry” often end up with a lot more sorry and a lot less safe.

Even in the moments when you think you miscalculated and the pain was greater than the gain, hang in there a little longer and look again, because there was the gain in self-confidence that you boldly said yes and didn’t run and hide. You grew more than you knew and learned more than you know.
“Fortune Favors the Bold”- Alexander the Great

This week, I am inviting you to live more fearlessly, embrace change more enthusiastically, and live more abundantly—for yourself and as a living example for others.

Make it a great week!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

Great Morning to you!
For many years now, my morning greeting has been ‘Great morning’ instead of ‘Good morning.’ I went from good to great.
Why?
Because when I say ‘Great morning,’ it reminds me that I’ve been given another morning, and that’s not just good, it’s great. This simple shift helps cheer me upward to live another Best Day Ever.
It’s our human nature to cheer when we feel enthusiastic about something.
Hence, this week we consider...

Who doesn’t appreciate a great toast with friends; finished with everyone exclaiming, Cheers!?
Cheers win games, don’t they?
Everyone knows the home-field advantage—why is it an advantage?
More cheers, of course.

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Who is the biggest cheerleader in your life? For me it was my Mother; and even though she’s not physically here anymore, her cheers were so powerful they transcend the grave. I still hear them now—and lean into them almost daily.

Who do you cheer for in your life beyond your favorite sports team?
Being an effective cheerleader for others requires developing and growing our inner cheerleader.
Isn’t it our inner cheerleader who is often the one most effective at cheering us up when we get down?!

What are the favorite cheers you tell yourself? Do you prefer the classic:
“You can do it!”?

How about just the inner prompt that says: “Hey, there is a lesson in here, you have overcome so much, be of good cheer, you can do this!”?
Or do you have an inner cheerleader who’s not so active, gained a few pounds and reluctant to get off the sidelines?

Clearly the voices in our head serve us or limit us. Do you hear mostly the encouragement, or the limits, that others may have set for you?

How about that one person: parent, teacher, coach, that encouraged you the most—do you play their words in your head? Or do you play back that cutting criticism you heard over 20 years ago; spoken once, but repeated by your mind a thousand times?

I have not always been the cheerleader I’ve wanted to be, and I know it’s been more a result of my own self-talk, than not caring. And while I occasionally hear that limiting voice, I have worked hard to develop my inner self-talk, especially since my Mother’s passing—now hearing her encouraging words regularly. I am so grateful for those seeds she planted. They have born much fruit in my life.

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There comes a time when we must become more responsible in the cultivating of our own thoughts—so that we may be more capable for ourselves and others. Cheering up ourselves and others—especially when the going gets tough—is often the difference maker in the game of life.

Just as you choose your favorite music in the car, turning off what you don’t like, and turning on what you enjoy that cheers you up—consider the voices in your head. What are the favorite cheers you hear in your head to help you overcome life’s adversities?

The Super Bowl is our Nation’s biggest night of cheering. We know the advantage of the home games, where we feel more loved and supported—it makes a difference, that’s why the Super Bowl is played on a neutral field to not give an advantage to one team.

Well, our inner cheerleader always has the home field advantage.

What we project onto the screen of life is born from our inner life. How may we develop more cheer-filled thoughts? When we notice the opposing team within us working against us, let’s simply ask, “Why am I listening to these limiting lies? “Maybe I just need a little more sleep and some uplifting exercise. Maybe getting-at-it will get me above it.

One of my favorites is simply, “Come on Steve, you’ve got this.”

The truth is that we can never be abandoned unless we give up on ourselves.

Cheer-up yourself to best cheer-up others; and notice how much more you’re cheered-up by doing so; it’s a powerful feedback loop. Just writing these thoughts, I am more cheerful.

For more wins in 2026, consider the health of your inner cheerleader. Consider his or her fitness and the words they use. Take the best cheers you have ever heard and work them into your program for more wins.

Cheer up and cheer often!

Make it a great week.

Cheers!

Steve Luckenbach

Dear Why Team member,

I hope this week’s message finds you well—and maybe even a little in love with the woods.

I’m fortunate to have a piece of land, and one of my favorite things to do when I’m on it is what I call “freeing a tree.”
You know I like a metaphor—and this one has been sticking with me.

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I’ve loved trees since I was a kid, and I’m fortunate that my children share my love of nature. Let me share with you a moment I’ll never forget with my oldest son. He was about five years old. We were at a theme park, sitting outside, and without any prompting, he walked up to a tree and just… hugged it.

As adults, we might wonder—what was he feeling that we don’t? But there’s something in that innocence. The strength of a tree. The steadiness. Maybe even a sense of comfort. The continuation and perpetuation of life. I’ve never forgotten that moment. In some small way, it reminded me of the role we play for others—to be strong, steady, and present.

It was only a couple of weeks ago that I shared with you how one of my favorite poems growing up was “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer. And over the years, trees have become a bit of a mentor to me. Just their presence is enough. I especially love the idea that a tree offers shade to everyone—even the person cutting it down.

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On weekends, if the weather cooperates, you’ll probably find me out in the woods doing just that—freeing a tree. The land I have hasn’t been touched much in over 50 years, and the vines have had plenty of time to climb. They wrap themselves around the trees, using the tree’s strength and height to reach higher.

And I’ve noticed something:
the stronger and taller the tree,
the more it attracts those ‘hangers-on.’

So, I cut the vines.

I set the tree free—giving it back its nutrients, reducing the competition, letting it breathe again. And honestly, it just looks better without everything that is choking it. I like to think the tree appreciates the care. I know I appreciate the time out there. Being among trees has a way of lifting the human spirit.

Trees take a beating. Storms. Wind. Seasons. And yet, those same forces make them stronger—helping them grow taller. And when their time comes, they fall… and continue to give back, nourishing the next generation of growth.

So why free a tree?

Because it’s a reminder for you and me:

Cut away the vines that choke your spirit.
Stand tall in the storm—and let it strengthen you.
Keep reaching for the sun—and provide those around you strength, steadiness, and comfort.

Make it a great week,

Steve Luckenbach