For most of my life, as with many of us, I spent a lot of time chasing validation through temporary means. Whether it was friendships, academics, athletics, relationships, or assurance from family members, I was chasing after tangible things that I could grasp onto for a moment. Maybe they lasted for a while. Maybe I clung to the reassuring words of a loved one or got into the college I had hoped I would. Maybe I was content with my friendships or happy in my relationships. But the reality was, no matter the surface-level temporary confidence I had, I felt an underlying need to continue to prove myself. We all do. That’s how the world works. We define success in a way contrary to what the Spirit would. We want big homes and happy families and a fulfilling career and for everyone to like us.

I haven’t fully arrived. After all, we’re all a work in progress until we get to heaven, but I have been challenged and sanctified by God’s grace enough to encourage you to rethink the way you find approval. As a matter of fact, I want to encourage you to stop finding approval in general. You already have it.

This summer, I stumbled upon the writings of Henri Nouwen on the bottom shelf of my favorite used bookstore. (Shoutout BrightLight Books). Nouwen’s work centers around what it looks like to live as a believer in a world that is being made new. He talks about life in the Spirit and what it means to walk with Jesus. But my biggest takeaway from his writing is that Nouwen knew that He was God’s beloved.

There is a moment at the start of Jesus’s ministry that stays at the forefront of my mind as I combat the lies of the enemy. As Jesus is baptized, the skies open and the Spirit “descends on him like a dove” (Matthew 3:16). This was the start of Jesus’s earthly ministry. Jesus was preparing to walk into years of miracles, discipling, and ultimately a brutal death. And God’s words for him were: “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased and delighted” (Matthew 3:17).

It wasn’t until I was late into college that I realized that those words weren’t merely for Jesus—they are for us too. What would it look like for us to walk in confidence that we are God’s beloved?

The craziest part of all of this isn’t just that we are the Beloved as if we somehow earned it. The craziest part is that we didn’t deserve it. We were born dead—unable to do anything holy. This reality means that there is NOTHING we can do to attempt to earn God’s favor. He has already done it for us in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are His Beloved because He says so, and nothing we can do can enhance or diminish it. We are fully loved to the highest degree.

This truth spills into how we interact with the world around us. So often, we try to protect ourselves from hurt because deep down, we haven’t fully believed the reality that we are God’s Beloved—that we are loved completely in a way that no human love or validation could ever match. When we encounter this truth, we are free to live with open hands and a heart that calmly expresses vulnerability and authenticity. We can say, “Lord, here’s my life—I’m going all in wherever you have me because I know my security rests in the hands of my loving Father.”

So, wherever you find yourself—content, discontent, feeling loved or unloved, happy, or upset—put your confidence in something greater than what this world has to offer. You are the Beloved. SO ACT LIKE IT! (And go read some Nouwen.)

My first move was to launch into all that we did. All of the events we pulled off. All of the camps we brought students to. All of the times we attended sporting events. I stopped for a moment. Is that what matters? Is selling our “student ministry program” the end goal of what we do?

But not only am I looking back over the past year, I am also reflecting on my first year in full-time youth ministry. As I wrote the newsletter, I focused instead on who the students are becoming. As fun as events, games, pizza, and camps are, the most important thing about ministry is that our students would be invited into the life-changing story of Jesus—that they would become committed Christ-followers who possess a vibrant faith. But as much as student ministry is about what the students are becoming, it is also about who we are becoming as student ministry leaders.

One of the most frequent struggles I faced this year was sitting on the brink of burnout. I quickly recognized that working in ministry is not like working in a corporate office from the hours of 9 to 5. While there are different struggles that come with a corporate job, ministry work is not measured by product. It is measured by abiding, discipling, being, and witnessing the kingdom grow. This year has been, by far, the most influential year for my spiritual growth. One day at a time and imperfectly, I am learning to abide rather than strive.

With that being said, here are 21 things one year in student ministry has taught me about becoming.

1. Ministry is not about me. It’s not about my comfort, my time, or my resources. It’s about thinking less of myself and more about how I can impact the kingdom.

2. I will worship ALL the time,

    not just when I have the perfect set of circumstances. Not just when I feel well. Not just when my emotions are perfectly sorted through.

3. My undivided attention to a conversation is NOT an option. My students deserve my full attention when they are in my office. My phone is away. My laptop is closed. My body language shows that I care and that I am there for them.

4. When I am intentional with students in the good times, they are far more likely to run to me in the bad times. Don’t wait for a crisis situation to pursue a student.

5. Be the best example of what it means to rest “satisfied” in Christ. Talk about your enjoyment in His presence. Share when He’s met your needs. Choose to step away from participating in things that the world runs to in an attempt to temporarily satisfy.

6. Be a people-gatherer and a leader-encourager. Give your students ownership. Let them lead. Gather students and encourage community.

7. Recognize that God is purifying His church. The church doesn’t rise and fall with man, but it rests on the finished work of Jesus Christ. No scandal, moral failure, or firing of a ministry leader can ruin God’s plan for humanity. As a church employee, you will watch church leaders rise and fall. Do not let this affect your view of the church as a whole.

8. Your “doing” doesn’t create a successful ministry. Your “being” with the Holy Spirit does. You can do nothing apart from abiding in the Spirit.

9. You’re not going to love every day, every event, or every time spent with a student. But every day is a day that the Lord has made, and we are called to be glad and rejoice in it.

10. Be vulnerable about your life. Use discernment, but share about the places where God has met you. Share about the time when you messed up in college, high school, in a friendship, in a relationship, etc. Your students will grow through witnessing the redemption story in your life.

11. Understand that it is impossible to be all things to all people. Your ministry does not rise and fall with you. You cannot meet with EVERY student or commit to EVERY sporting event. You are human, and you have a life.

12. Live in opposition to students’ cultural move away from their childlike faith. Live in wonder. Be silly. Get embarrassed. Show your students that it is okay to not be “cool” all the time.

13. Understand that sometimes parents will expect you to do the job they’re supposed to do. You can’t. Your job is to be a supplemental resource of faith and mentorship to your students.

14. Repeat this to yourself: All I have needed, His hand has provided.

15. The devil loves to attack a good thing. Welcome to ministry. You’re guaranteed to experience spiritual warfare. Put on the armor of God.

16. Prayer is not an idle task. It is the most powerful. Commit to spending portions of your day in prayer for your students.

17. Hospitality can happen in your student ministry office! Just because you live in an apartment with roommates and can’t always host students or events doesn’t mean you’re not taking part in hospitality. Make your space inviting, warm, and practical for hosting.

    

18. Be authentic. Continue investing in your interests and hobbies, even when it may not be the trendiest thing. Teens find it refreshing to be around those who are unfazed by the cultural norms/conforming to society.

19. It is a privilege to walk alongside people in their grief. Do not drag your feet at the sound of a hospital visit, home visit, mental health crisis, or funeral. This is where people are yearning to be met.

20. Prioritize your Sabbath. Typically, those in ministry do not get to observe the traditional Sabbath on Sunday. Choose a day and set it aside for rest. Do not meet with students. Do not answer phone calls. Do not respond to texts. Surrender your “doing” to the Lord. This will, in turn, make you a better ministry leader throughout the rest of the week.

21. Never neglect your personal time of worship. You cannot pour out of an empty cup. Spend time each morning with the Lord. Let Him know where you are weak and watch Him step into those places and empower you.

One year of ministry down, but I am learning every day. I feel blessed to be charged with the task of inviting every student into the life-changing story of Jesus.

I started running consistently almost two years ago—at the perfect time, just when I needed a mental and physical distraction. I blindly signed up for a half-marathon and googled my way into a subpar training plan, which led me to the finish line—barely. This year, I completed two more races, convinced a few friends to join me, and crossed the finish line looking a little less disheveled. As I’ve continued, I have become deeply inspired by the marathon and the ultramarathon. Why are we fascinated by our body’s ability to go beyond what we think possible? Why are we drawn toward running distances where you can’t see the finish line from the start?

Now, there are a few obvious and studied reasons why running is addictive:

1. Runner’s high—resulting from the body’s release of endorphins

2. Dopamine from consistent achievement—running provides a reward loop from accomplishing new distances, pr’s, and crossing finish lines

3. Mental clarity

4. Handling and processing stress/trauma

But I’m here to suggest another reason why we’re all so fascinated by long-distance running. I believe we’re enamored, addicted, and committed to running because it gives us the ability to experience the sublime.

What is the sublime?!

I’ve found that when I mention the sublime, not many people have heard of it. Maybe you’ve heard of the California-based punk band from the 80s, or you at least saw their name printed across Urban Outfitters t-shirts in 2016. Before I studied Gothic Literature, I was in the same boat—until I discovered the philosophy of Edmund Burke.

By definition, the sublime is “a quality of greatness, beauty, or magnitude so vast, awe-inspiring, or terrifying that it exceeds our ability to fully comprehend it.” This is the emotion you experienced when looking at the Grand Canyon for the first time, or when you scaled the Alps, or when you walked into a cathedral with ceilings so high and hollow. This is the emotion you experience when you watch a horror movie and somehow find yourself enjoying your self-inflicted fear.

The unique thing about the sublime is that this emotion does not have a single source. It can be caused by pain, pleasure, immense beauty, fear, light, vastness, difficulty, succession, uniformity, infinity, or magnificence. The list goes on. The correct combination of these causes evokes the sublime with great intensity.

I believe that long-distance running evokes this emotion through self-inflicted positive pain, negative pain, positive pleasure, succession, vastness, and magnificence. Running is awe-inspiring because we recognize that there are distances that exceed the limits of our physical capacity.

Positive pain is pain being directly inflicted on a subject. I can guarantee that you are far more likely to remember exactly how it felt to experience pain than how it felt to experience happiness. Negative pleasure is the absence of pain. You feel negative pleasure when you make it through the pain cave and complete your run. You stand with your hands on your knees, breathing heavily, but it feels so good because you are relieved of the pain. When you run, you experience positive pleasure during a “runner’s high” due to your body’s production of dopamine and endorphins. Here, pleasure is being given to you.

In his book, A Philosophical Enquiry into the Sublime and Beautiful, Burke says,

The strongest emotion which the mind is capable of feeling. This is the sublime.

But, the sublime doesn’t just rest on pain, danger, and terror—it rests a great deal on vastness, and succession as well. Later on in his works, Burke talks about succession as an imitator of the infinite. Have you ever sat with the thought of infinity? Does it make your mind spin? Do you feel overwhelmed? If so, you had a glimpse of the sublime.

Succession is the idea that something (whether it be a pattern or a practice) continues in one direction far beyond the eye can see, so that the viewer is convinced that they are witnessing infinity. When we run mile after mile, we are taking part in succession. Step after step. One foot in front of the other. We do this for hours, and by the time we’re done, we don’t even remember what it was like to have started out the journey.

The half-marathon, the full-marathon, and ultramarathons dabble in a succession so long that when you start out your race, you might feel as though you are a bundle of nerves, but if you untangle that bundle, you’ll find the sublime in there somewhere.

But, Burke does note that too close a proximity of pain and danger would drive someone away. He says,

This is running—the perfect balance of pain, pleasure, succession, and terror. We are terrified by the idea of our bodies breaking limits we could never imagine. We sit in pain at mile twenty as we shuffle up a hill. We find a rush of pleasure after mile five, once runner’s high hits, and we know we are capable of much more than we originally believed. We are addicted to the succession and familiarity of running one more mile.

But even more so, we love running because it causes the sublime, and the sublime is an emotion that can be evoked by the presence of God. God is the essence of beauty, magnificence, infinity, delight, fear, and vastness. Every person running on this earth has a “God-shaped hole” in their heart. From the moment we are born, we recognize that something is missing, and we set out on a lifelong journey to find “where all of the beauty came from.” We run because through it, we experience a lesser version of the emotion our hearts are chasing.

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I am not saying running is a counterfeit God. Running is a good thing, but like all good things, it can often aim to satisfy what can only be satisfied through the redemption of Jesus Christ. As I’ve become “addicted” to running and familiar with the sublime, I have become more familiar with the Lord. I have experienced his beauty, magnificence, and grandeur. I have experienced asking for His help on a long run. I have experienced joy in the gift of the ability to move my body.

You are addicted to running because you are experiencing the sublime through it, therefore experiencing a taste of what God has to offer. So when you run, seek Him. Seek the beauty, grandeur, and magnificence in all He is.

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A little over a year ago, I sat in the midst of a new congregation. I was in my last semester as a creative writing student and was looking for a new church home. Toward the beginning of the service, a woman took the stage and presented a group for Christian creatives. I immediately perked up, keeping my attention fixed on her slideshow presentation. She shared her gallery of oil paintings, but promised that this group would be a space for creatives of all kinds. I sat with my hands under my legs, anticipating the moment when she would bring up the writer. The list went on, and finally, there it was. But I was certain she should’ve said it sooner. Are writers creatives? Are drawers, painters, and sculptors the most creative? Is it a competition? As I marched to the information table at the end of service, I found myself in a boxing ring, begging other art forms to fight the pen in an attempt to prove that I belonged there, too. I recognize now that my insecurity wasted energy on a fight that did not need to be fought.

I should know this. I should know that writing is creative. I should hold closely the idea that writing is the creative formation of millions of words. I should believe that it is a great act of art to choose the most potent word for a moment of emotion. After all, I graduated with a Creative Writing degree from the College of Arts and Humanities! But sometimes I still struggle.

I was listening to a podcast from Breakthrough Church, based in Lynchburg, Virginia. They completed a sermon series earlier this year on our call as Christians to be creators. In one of these sermons, well-known Christian artist Anthony Gurrola challenged us that we are all creative, and to claim that you are not is a disgrace to the reality that you’re made in the image of God. Let that sit with you for a second. To claim and doubt that you are not creative is to doubt that you are made in the image of God. I would argue that all people are creative. Yes, even the engineer who feels they are more cerebral in nature, but this concept will be another article in itself.

So, in case you are having, or have had, a moment of doubt in your place as a creative writer, I am here to remind you of a few truths:

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Writing requires a different aspect of the imagination—a faith in things unseen.

As a child, I would spend evenings on the top bunk, writing stories of a girl named Cara. She did all of the things in life that I hadn’t gotten to yet. She traveled, had ten siblings, went to high school, fell in love, fell out of love… You get the point. But as I filled cheap journals with my elementary school handwriting, I was taking part in practicing faith.

Writing is not visual art. We see the words on the page, and we hear them as they’re read aloud, but we do not see the emotions swelling within the author’s heart. We do not see the stories in front of our eyes. We do not literally see the ideas jump off each page. Writing is literary art. Writing requires a special relationship between the author and the reader—a bond of unknown trust where the author has enough confidence in the specificity of their words that the reader will accurately create pictures in their minds.

So, unlike visual art, to write is to have faith in what is heard and understood, but not seen.

There are over a million words in the English language, and you chose THOSE.

Just like the painter uses a paintbrush and mixtures of 10 million colors the eyes can see, just like the sculptor uses their hands and clay and stone, just like the instrumentalist uses a piano and its eighty-eight keys, the writer uses a pen and over one million words.

Whether you write fiction, fantasy, creative nonfiction, or articles on Substack, you are taking part in choosing the best word for your ideas. You set the scene. You choose the ideal word to represent the color of the snow glistening on top of the mountain. You pick the best way to convey the way it felt to experience the loss of a loved one. You desperately grasp at dictionaries and thesauruses to find the perfect way to say you love them—even when it doesn’t seem as though there are words for it.

Your pen and the word bank in your mind are the medium of your art. Creating well-written word combinations takes just as much skill as it might to complete an oil painting. One is not better than the other; they’re just different.

God Said…

Now, I want to remind you of the way the Earth came into being. “For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command.” (Psalm 33:9).

We know that the world was made ex nihilo or “out of nothing.” The Creator of the Universe spoke the world into existence. He said, “Let there be light.” He said, “Let there be birds of the sky and fish of the sea.” Our Father loves words.

As sub-creators of the ultimate Creator, we get to take part in “subduing the earth” (Genesis 1:28). We are not God, and we will never have the ability to create something out of nothing, but we have been given over a million words and a call to help take the chaos in the world and make it something beautiful.

Writer, I want to encourage you to remember your value. Remember your creativity. Remember your place in the world as an artist of words. Remember that the pen holds as much creativity as the paintbrush. Both are valuable, and both are deeply needed to bring beauty and usher flourishing within the world.

A Text From Grammy, April 6th, 2026.

“Dear Caroline,

On this occasion of your spiritual birthday, I thought of the verses which I chose for you… “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living Hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” What a beautiful thought as you begin another year in your walk with Christ. 1 Peter 1:3-5. I love you!

-Grams”

My Grammy has always been a spiritual mentor in my life—an example of God’s grace of generational faithfulness. When my mom worked shifts at the hospital, I went to my grandparents’ house, where I would often sit criss-cross-applesauce on their living room floor. I remember the way Grammy placed aged flannelgraph pieces against the side of their tan-cloth couch, telling stories of missionaries who exemplified an unwavering trust in God’s provision and promises.

And I’ll never forget when I accepted Jesus into my life as a four-year-old. Grammy made it the biggest deal ever. “Do you know what heaven sounds like right now???” She asked. “The angels are up there rejoicing! They’re singing and praising, and the Lord is smiling. You are one of His own.”

Shortly after, Grammy gifted me with a page from the illustrated version of Pilgrim’s Progress, fitted perfectly in a gold-rimmed frame, dated April 2007. If you are familiar with the story of Pilgrim’s Progress, the page details the very moment that Christian’s burden falls off his back, the second he looks at the cross. “Christian kept feeling behind his back.” The page says. “He couldn’t believe it. For it was very surprising to him that the simple act of gazing at the cross had set him free, and his burden of guilt was gone.”

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And a few years later, on the day I was baptized, my mom made ham, mashed potatoes, dessert, and our family—cousins and all—gathered around our dining room table—just as if it were a holiday. A few hours later, I would stand in front of our house and watch as landscapers dug into the slowly thawing April ground, planting the beginnings of a maple into my everyday view. Grammy and Poppy hoped this would be a reminder of my sanctification and rootedness in Christ, but most importantly, a celebration of His work in my life.

Now, every year on April 6th, she sends me a text as a reminder of the day Jesus changed my life. It’s humbling that I don’t always remember. But she does.

I spend a lot of time worrying about birthdays. Which friends do I buy gifts for? Who needs me to plan a surprise party? Did I get the card in the mail on time? What kind of gift card would they appreciate? Which pictures should I choose for their Instagram story shoutout?

I spend a lot less time (if any) thinking about spiritual birthdays. When’s the last time you’ve asked someone about the day Jesus changed their life?

Jesus loved to use metaphors to describe our relationship to Him & it isn’t a coincidence that He used birth and new life to describe our reality in Christ.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be BORN AGAIN’” (John 3:5-7).

This is SUCH an important metaphor because it highlights a few things:

1. Without Christ, we are dead.

2. A dead person cannot breathe again without a new life!

3. Jesus is the only one who can provide NEW LIFE!

4. New life means new birth.

5. This calls for a spiritual birthday celebration!

There’s a lot we celebrate in our current culture. We celebrate new jobs, graduations, grand openings, anniversaries—to name a few good ones. We celebrate by going to dinner, going to clubs, surprising, giving flowers, gifts… the list could go on forever. Sometimes we celebrate with copious amounts of money. Sometimes we celebrate on a budget.

Celebration is a lovely thing. God loves when we celebrate. He loves it when we get excited about the things He’s given us, but far too often, we focus far more on the things and take the celebration of His provision out of them. We’re often far too focused on what’s ahead that we rarely take the time to stop and remember what He has done for us. As believers, we have so much to reflect on, so much to remember. We have so much to celebrate. And before we celebrate anything else, we should be throwing our biggest parties and giving our excitement to the day when Jesus called us to be His child, and every moment of His faithfulness after that.

So, here’s an idea:

Start asking people about the day Jesus changed their lives. Start asking people about their surrender. Write it down. Celebrate. Let’s keep each other accountable in celebrating the things that matter.

In fact, none of this is an original idea. The Old Testament is marked by celebrations and reminders of God’s faithfulness to His people. Even though they rebelled and forgot about His faithfulness time & time again, their Passover feast reminded them of the day they were delivered from Egypt. Their Ebenezers were reminders of God’s hand in their battles with the Philistines.

Your spiritual birthday is an Ebenezer. Before you go on with your day, consider these words from one of my favorite hymns, “Come Thou Fount.”

Grammy is right. Our spiritual birthdays are a big deal. Start having your feasts and raising your Ebenezers, and recognize that without Christ, we would still be dead. Recognize that with Christ, we have every spiritual blessing, new life, and the hope of a world beautified to come. That’s a lot to celebrate. Let’s get the party started.

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I spent last Thursday evening at the Dr. Phillip’s Center for the Performing Arts with two friends from church, a cup of apple tea, and a container of sour gummy worms. I’ve never been much of a musical theater girl, but when “Legally Blonde” is involved, you can best believe you’ll find me there. And while I enjoyed the copious amounts of pink, acting dogs, and a jumproping dance sequence (iykyk), I left the theater feeling refreshed. I felt refreshed because there’s a lot of modern art out there that leaves you hopeless, stuck in the chaos of a world out of control, but Elle Woods and the rest of her cast left me thinking about all of the things this story has to teach us about our common human experience. Do me a favor—if you haven’t seen “Legally Blonde,” go watch it and then proceed with this article ;)

Now, let’s continue with 4 things “Legally Blonde” teaches us about humanity:

Above All Things: LOVE is the greatest motivator.

As we are introduced to Elle Woods in the opening scenes, no one would peg her for a law student. Everything pointed toward a life of color in LA—filled with designer clothes and new handbags. So, most people are shocked by the point in the movie where Elle begins LSAT prep with the hope of attending Harvard Law School. But should we be all that shocked? Above all emotions, love is the strongest. Love can turn our worlds upside down, compelling us to new worlds we could’ve never imagined.

Isn’t that SO FUN? As God created emotions and shaped our hearts, he elevated love above the rest. He draws us in and compels us to Himself through His love, and He encourages us to obey because of our love for Him. He sent His Son to die for us because of love and plants vibrant wildflowers in fields to make us smile because of love. Love is what builds friendships, and love is what keeps people around. Love sends us far, and it draws us near.

Now, of course, this storyline isn’t all that realistic, and Elle was acting out of slight desperation, but behind it all, she was searching for love. And whether she got Warner back or not, Elle would eventually fall in love again—in new ways.

Our hearts are wired for love because they’re wired to know our Creator—the One who embodied love through the death of His Son on a cross.

It’s More Work, But It’s Right.

Integrity. Integrity marks Elle’s journey from UCLA to Harvard to enemy to client to court. We often think of corporate America today and clench our teeth, remembering all of the ways humans step on necks like rungs on a ladder toward success.

There’s a point in the story when Elle is working as an intern on an important criminal defense case. None of her fellow interns—or Dr. Cunningham himself—could get the defendant to confess her alibi. When Elle steps into the room with the defendant, she strips herself of any pride and treats her client as a human being and a friend. When the defendant shares her alibi, under the condition that she shares it with no one, Elle keeps her word.

When Elle re-enters the room of her interns and boss, she says, “Well, I got her alibi! She’s innocent!” They all stare at her with wide eyes, expecting her to continue, but she doesn’t.

“Elle, aren’t you going to share her alibi with us?”

“No,” she responds. “I promised her I wouldn’t. Just know she’s innocent. We can find other ways to win this case.”

“Sure, there’s a chance we can, but it’s going to be a TON more work.”

My first reaction was— “just tell them the alibi. It’s better for the client in the long run.” But, Elle did something we don’t often do today. She kept her promise and found a way to maintain trust and integrity. In our culture, we’ve become so comfortable with instant gratification and shortcuts, that breaking a promise for the sake of less work seems harmless. We no longer sit and write letters and chop vegetables or plant gardens—all tasks that require monotonous movements and more time to think. If we had more time to think, we might think more about the motives behind and the implications of our actions. Elle never wanted to be a lawyer. She never thought she’d be selected as a top intern. And when she was selected, none of it got in the way of her integrity—because to her, success didn’t involve trampling people in her way.

Let’s Be FOR people and not against.

Elle had every reason to hate Warner’s new girlfriend, Vivian. Elle wore pink. Vivian wore black. Elle’s tone of voice had variety. Vivian’s was monotonous. Elle lost Warner. Vivian had Warner. Vivian publicly embarrassed Elle in their first law class. Then again at the Halloween party.

And when Vivian was having a hard time—who was the first person there for her? Elle. You know how the story ends—but there is redemption and restoration for Vivian’s character.

Our culture really prioritizes setting up boundaries and “getting revenge” for those who have hurt us. GUESS WHAT?! There’s not a place in the Bible where we’re told to retaliate, put up walls, or turn our backs to those who have hurt us. Where do we get the idea that we get a pass to tear people down with our words just because they’ve done so to us? It’s easier to do so, that’s for sure.

There’s only one person who had any right to retaliate against us for our cruelty, hatred, and false accusations—that’s Jesus. And what did he do? He died on behalf of every single person who hurt him.

So, let’s be for people and not against them. Let’s consider that every person has a soul—made in the image of God. Let’s look for ways to love instead of retaliate, run toward instead of away.

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Work Within Your Area of Giftedness—not someone else’s.

There’s a moment toward the end of the story where Elle switches her black “lawyerly” dresses for her signature pink. She goes back into court and wins her case due to her knowledge of perm aftercare. From her kindness to style to sisterhood to knowledge of hair products and shoes—Elle is true to herself. In an environment where everyone was trying to maintain the appropriate Harvard student stereotype, nothing would strip her of her vibrant LA personality or wardrobe.

Now, I’m not condoning the “just be yourself!” movement, because if all of us were “our authentic selves,” we would be terrible people. We need Jesus to transform us. Of course. But what I’m trying to get at here is that we all have distinct interests and personalities and giftings. We are all drawn to different books, styles of art, music, sports teams, or hobbies. These are all good things, and so often we are convinced by social media or mass trends that we need to change our giftings to fit in. We don’t. We shouldn’t. In whatever we do, whether it be professionally, artistically, or athletically, we are called to do it well, and doing it well brings God glory because He made us and gave us our gifts. That’s all.

Uniqueness is a gift. Wear your bright colors when no one else is. Have a childlike faith in a world full of adults. Keep painting even when the market says you’ll never make it big. In our culture today, going against the grain is most likely a good thing.

Now that we’ve exhausted the philosophy and theology behind a rom-com, I hope this has given you a glimpse of the power of art. Nothing we consume is neutral. It either points toward redemption or it points toward death.

I give “Legally Blonde” 5 stars.

One had taken every opportunity to use her time for kingdom work, earth exploration, and education, while the other mourned the what-if of not finding a spouse according to her timing. One surrounds herself with community and uses her surplus of free time to hike mountains, while the other spends her time longing for the next step and wishing things were different. One sits in misery and anticipation, and the other sits in a steady joy.

I’d like to know why singleness is often considered a disease. I’d like to know why the church has unintentionally convinced singles that the only path to “healing” is finding a lifelong partner.

When single church members mention their loneliness, singleness, or desire for marriage, our first response is often one of a few things:

• “Love will come when you least expect it!”

• “I have a grandson/granddaughter I could set you up with!”

• “God will provide you a husband/wife in His timing!”

I am sure these things are said without harm! But, as with everything, we should analyze our immediate responses to things and how they reveal our understanding of theology. Don’t get me wrong, there is everything good & lovely in desiring marriage, but the Bible NEVER guarantees us marriage. He never guarantees us a soulmate. He doesn’t promise that once we get married, everything will work out perfectly.

So, why, as a church, are we speaking into the lives of our single friends with uncertain affirmations from our man-made idea of God?

In the process of endlessly searching for what we think we need, we inevitably miss the opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus and ask, “Lord, what is your will for me, right now?” And while discerning the will of God is often considered a mystery, I beg to differ. I think His will for us is pretty clear.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Thessalonians 5:16-18

It doesn’t say: “Rejoice always once you’re married,” or “give thanks when you meet the ONE.”

The Bible says that in whatever circumstance you currently find yourself is one that deserves your rejoicing. It deserves your intentional and continuous prayer. It deserves your thankfulness.

My roommates had a friend over for lunch a few months ago. Five months pregnant, she left her two-year-old at home with her husband for a few hours. “You know,” she said. “I wish someone had shaken me when I was younger and begged me to soak in every moment of free mornings and evenings. I had every capability to learn and create and grow and serve, and I spent the majority of that time wishing things were different.”

Unmarried church members have a unique position within the church. With fewer responsibilities at home, we have a larger capacity for service outside of the home. With nights full of sleep, we have extra brain space and power to learn, grow, and explore. With our free time, we have ample opportunities to sit with friends and laugh and BE—without obligation.

In singleness, I’ve found rich friendships of all ages, traveling, a full-time job in youth ministry, basketball coaching, a church family that surrounds me and builds me up, the time to train for marathons, and the time to contemplate on and write this article.

I can’t tell you whether you’ll meet the one. I can’t tell you whether you’ll get married and your loneliness will diminish. I can’t tell you that “love will find you when you least expect it.” I can’t tell you those things because I don’t know God’s plan for your life.

But, with certainty, I can tell you that God’s kingdom is much bigger than you. I can tell you that your spontaneity and free time are the biggest gifts for exploring the earth and gaining knowledge. I can tell you that God is sovereign and He is orchestrating your life into the most beautiful symphony—one that you couldn’t have designed better even if you tried. I can tell you that God’s will for you is to REJOICE ALWAYS, PRAY CONTINUOUSLY, and GIVE THANKS ALWAYS. Because He doesn’t do anything by way of an “accident.”

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