Today could have stolen my joy. If you don’t know, I am a Creative Director for enrichment programs. For YEARS I’ve worked on my business, Gifted and Aligned, and myself. I’ve worked extremely hard on myself and loving me for me. Like really hard. One of my biggest flexes is that I can be myself in any environment.

Today, I had an orientation with Houston Independent School District as a Consultant, which is a HUGE opportunity because HISD is one of the biggest school districts in the United States. I’m Suuuuuuppper Excited about it too! After the orientation was over, I went over to my Site Coordinator to introduce myself, and I was met with pushback, and she said, “Whoa! I need you to bring that energy down”. Mind you, I just met this lady, and all I did was give her a huge smile and say, “I just know you’re who I’m looking for!” I knew that because she was dressed like a whimsy girl. The unique style and glasses, well, at least the aesthetic of one. She proceeded to say things like, “I heard you were a lot”. Like WTF!!!!!! Where TF did you hear that? In your head? Because I haven’t worked in Houston since 2017.

I looked her dead in the face and said, “I’m myself, and I will continue to be myself in every environment”. She still proceeded to give me pushback as though I was “too much” and made comments like I was/am the problem. I asked her, “Are you for the people?” She couldn’t and didn’t answer my question. That told me all I needed to know.

The old Neisha would have left that orientation feeling so unworthy, judged, and undervalued. This Neisha, left feeling confused, was my feelings hurt? Yes, a little. After my cry, smoke, and venting session with myself, I realized - first of all FUCK HER- but most importantly, I stood up for myself. I remained Neisha and didn’t back down from being authentic to myself no matter how deeply uncomfortable it made her feel. I tell people who I am, not the other way around. Nobody can tell me who I am but ME! I know who I am; I’ve been told by my Divine Team. AND I STOOD ON THAT!

My free-spirited, whimsical personality doesn’t mean I lack responsibility, maturity, or that I don’t take life seriously. She saw my childlike wonder as a liability. Especially when she tried to throw her “I’m 45 years old…” in the conversation, and I responded, “Oh, we are around the same age, and I’m still me”. Like, girlllllll pleaseeeeee. It’s actually the exact opposite. Being a REAL whimsy bitch means authenticity; this is not an aesthetic. My. freedom to be myself is a mirror to your insecurity.

What did I do next? I alchemized it. I turned my anger and sadness into a creative safe space. So I got on my computer and changed my entire enrichment curriculum for the semester. It’s now an enrichment built around empowering their authentic selves in social environments that are built to make you feel uncomfortable when you’re not a box-fitting, cookie-cutting personality. It put fuel in my fire to pay my freedom and the ability to be authentic forward to my students. They deserve to be in environments without watering themselves down or “code-switching”. The population of students I engage, teach, and learn from also will always leave spaces feeling empowered, even when people try to dim their light. They will embody walking in their light so they won’t feel like I could have felt today.

This semester, my students won't be learning how to 'fit in.' They’ll be learning how to build their own thrones. Because if I can stand my ground at an HISD orientation, they can stand theirs in any room they walk into.

Hey, so respectfully, fuck both of them, honestly. That’s my first thought as I write out my thoughts about them. Holding my parents accountable is one of the best things I could have done for myself. It feels like I’m reclaiming my time. Taking back my power. And definitely NOT people-pleasing.

My whole life, I have been trying to prove myself worthy of love, attention, and validation from them. I’m a Leo moon, so growing up I needed a special type of attention. Growing up as a PK is a whole trauma in itself. Church trauma, a mega church on top of that. I’ve always felt like I had something to prove. In hindsight, I was seeking validation and love that I would never receive. Academically, I exceeded by graduating in the top half of my class. I was active in school with cheerleading, student council, and drama club. I had received so many awards and achievements, only to not be acknowledged by my parents. The only thing I received growing up was coldness. Side note, parents: it’s so important to know your kids’ birth charts; each child has their own needs.

When I turned 16, I worked my first job. My mom made me pay the light bill, car insurance, and my cell phone bill. Imagine being a 16-year-old having to pay the light bill. Anyway, I did it! I also had to raise everybody and they daddy kids. Y’all, when I became an adult, I was exhausted!!!! So, I left the United States for THREE years! I’ve traveled the world and lived in countries like Mexico, Thailand, and Spain. I needed to find myself again. Who was I? My whole life, I’ve been told what to do, how to do it, and how to live this cookie-cutter life where no one seemed to have it all together. My biggest question was: if that’s what a “perfect” life is supposed to be, then why hasn’t anyone achieved this projected life? Why are preachers preaching a life that they don’t even live or can’t live? Why are they teaching a perfected LIE? Who Am I?

Have your parents or upbringing ever made you question your whole existence? I remember, at the age of 16, sitting in my car in front of my house, not wanting to go in because I felt so out of place, so misunderstood, and unloved. I had a fun childhood because I made it that way. I cultivated friends that turned into family for me. My friend’s family was my family.

Recently, my mom called me to ask why I don’t communicate with her. I told her because I feel like she tolerates me, and nothing she does for me is genuine. Also, she talks mad shit about me to other family members. She goes around being messy and tells people that I’m unstable, a liar, and a bum. But yet, she would call me for advice. She was so upset. She did the white lady, gaslight cry. LOL!!!! While saying that she feels like I “tolerate” her too. GIRRLLLLLLLLLL PLEASE! She refused to take any accountability; instead, she said, “Well, if you feel that way, you don’t have to come around; that’s fine. I’m sorry for everything.” and hung up. I felt so at peace. The truth will always be peaceful to me. So byyyeeeeee!!!!

My dad, I could write a whole dissertation on that fuck nigga. In June of 2024, my dad dropped me off at a hotel at 10 pm, and I never heard from him again. Imagine, just getting back from overseas, marriage in shambles, needing a place to collect thoughts, and your dad randomly knocks on your bedroom door at 10 pm and tells you to pack your clothes, don’t ask questions, and meet him downstairs. Mind you, he told me that I could stay there until I get things situated. This man and his dumb ass wife took me to QT, got me some corner store food, paid for a week at the hotel, dropped me off, and said barely anything to me, dropped me off and left!!!!! I had JUST started my job, so not one check was coming for at least a week and a half. When my week was up, I was just sitting in the lobby with my luggage, nowhere to go, and no one to call. While crying and holding back tears, all I could think about was that my dad had abandoned me AGAIN! A new trauma formed. As I sat in that lobby, thinking about my next move, an older man approached me and asked if I needed help. Long story short, he was a pervert, and I had to stay with that pervert for two more weeks at that hotel. Imagine every night, an old ass man trying to molest you at night and during the day trying to convince you to be his sugar baby with benefits, another trauma formed. When I told my dad about these things, months later, he said, and I quote, “I’m praying for you”. That did it!!!!! THAT SENT MEEEEEEEE!!!!! Yeah, I’ll never talk to him again.

What triggered this? My friend was at lunch, having a conversation about going no contact and how a lot of our peers are holding people accountable. It seems like a lot of chosen ones have had humble beginnings. A lot of jealousy, light dimming, and being completely mishandled. This second half of life is about sustainability, truth, community, and vulnerability. Living life on our own terms. Parents are jealous of our freedom, self-love, and ability to speak truths without fear. Our boldness against those who speak against what we know to be true.

So here I am, allowing all these bridges to collapse and building new ones, sustainable ones. Bridges that produce beautiful, functional, and sustainable outcomes. I have to reparent myself, and that takes stepping away from anything that doesn’t nurture my authenticity. My advice to you, my dear reader, is to never leave a room questioning yourself; only be drawn to spaces that embrace and celebrate you.

This summer took a sudden turn. What I thought my summer was going to be about is turning out completely different. I thought my Houston summer was going to be filled with “No sleep, bus, club, another club, another club, plane, next place, no sleep…” LOL! Turns out, this journey has taken me a little deeper than just having nights I don’t remember. This time around, I had to let go of some relationships and rebuild relationships.

Before I came to Houston, I was living in a homeless shelter in Oakland. Yes, life took some very unexpected turns, but it led me to my blessings. Long story short, the shelter paid for my plane ticket to get to Houston. It was a divine plan, honestly. My whole journey has been in alignment. I turned another age this year, June 30, 2026 (0+6+3+0+2+0+2+6=19, 1+9=10=1), and I can wholeheartedly say that I have started over from the beginning.

Every time I used to think about coming home, I would drag my feet because coming home to me means facing all the old shit that doesn’t align with me, having empty-ass conversations, doing the same ol shit with the same ol people, and/or being in spaces that I’ve outgrown. This go around, I had to let go of two of my best friends. One of them, I kinda knew that it was coming because she was a low-key hater anyway. The other surprised me. She told me that “Jesus” was not happy with me and I was going to HELL! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! She told me that she doesn’t need friends like me and she blocked me 🤣😩! Oh Well!!!! Love both of them down. But fuck them.

And my Mom- always been a difficult story between her and me. Come to find out, she’s jealous and was behind turning my sister and me against each other growing up. I’m cool now. Took years of healing. Being the oldest and a PK, there were a lot of expectations and pressure, and I was forced to grow up faster than I should. Had to put her on ice this summer. I refuse to be in spaces that belittle me. I CHOOSE ME! When she is ready to do the work, I’ll be here.

Ironically, what DID come of this was the rebuilding of my relationship with my middle sister; she’s two years younger than me. Our relationship was not great growing up. We fought a lot!! Never got along. I remember always saying, “If she weren’t my sister, I would NOT be friends with her”. I literally couldn’t stand being in the room with her. Since I’ve been in Houston, it’s like her veil has been lifted. She has seen my mother’s true colors with her own lived experiences, and we had a very deep conversation about how I was treated by her and our mom growing up. She was shocked. She had no idea because her relationship with our Mother is different. All in all, she took accountability and expressed her gratitude. Which is important to me because the best apology is changed behavior.

I was asked, “What has been the most challenging so far in Houston?” My response was: having to be in spaces where I felt small and popping my shit! I’ve always tried to be the peacemaker by walking away or never speaking the truth. This time, I said FUCK THAT!!!! I know a lot of shit. I’ve seen some shit in my family and all around me. I know what I know. And my ancestors have packed me with wisdom.

If I had a word of advice for you, my dear reader, choose yourself first. These MFers always do. Love yourself so hard that no one can tell you who you are!!! Date yourself. Do mirror work. Remember that the Kingdom of God lives within YOU! You don’t need to be led by anyone but your intuition, Spirit, and/or your ancestors. Trust yourself. Find hobbies. Be whimsy.

Hey you,

I’ve been sitting with this for a while.

You know when something inside of you shifts… and you try to ignore it at first? Because change feels vulnerable? Because being seen feels risky?

Yeah. That.

Zaria Reign was born from courage. From healing. From stepping out of hiding and choosing authenticity out loud. She’s been bold, charismatic, reflective, spiritual, funny, raw. She’s been a mirror. And she’s been medicine.

But lately, I’ve felt called to evolve her.

Not louder.
Not flashier.
Just deeper.

I want to reintroduce Zaria as something a little different — and somehow more her than ever.

An anonymous advice writer.

Think: “Dear Abby”… but with culture. With nuance. With emotional intelligence. With lived experience. With a Leo Moon flair and a Cancer Sun heart. With the kind of honesty that makes you laugh and exhale at the same time.

I’ll be asking and answering the questions we whisper to ourselves:
About love.
About sex.
About parenting.
About purpose.
About money.
About leaving.
About staying.
About faith.
About burnout.
About desire.
About becoming.

Some questions will feel like yours.
Some will feel like mine.
Some will feel like the collective.

But all of them will be real.

I want this space to feel like we’re sitting at the kitchen table at 11:47 PM. No judgment. No pretending. Just truth, reflection, and maybe a little “girl… let’s unpack this.”

Submit your anonymous questions and/or true story here:

I got some Tea/Question!

Zaria isn’t disappearing.

She’s refining.
She’s sharpening.
She’s stepping into a new lane — quieter, but stronger.

And if you’re still here?
That means you’re evolving too.

Let’s ask better questions.
Let’s laugh at ourselves.
Let’s heal in public (but safely).
Let’s grow up and glow up at the same time.

Thank you for growing with me.

With love (in action),
Zaria 💌