Even though I had spent hours in Tahajjud earlier that week, telling Him who I wanted.

I told Him...

I want a love story that is calm, maybe with a sprinkle of chaos.

I want to see him and feel my heart skip a beat, and when I don't see him, be unable to get him off my mind.

I want to feel butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach when we hold each other's gaze.

I want to be his undoing, his weakness and his strength all embodied.

I want to step into rooms where he is and sashay confidently, knowing his eyes are set only on me.

I want to dance with him, grind him, and feel his boner rub against me.

I want to be the only woman he'd be able to respond to in that way.

I want to memorize the curve of his lips, where they dip and how soft they feel against mine.

I want to share his breath and feel at peace in his arms.

I want to moan his name at the slightest touch, and when my knees weaken from what he's doing to my body, I want to be able to reciprocate it.

I want to be his big baby.

To cling to him, to be able to trust him with my full chest and love him unconditionally.

I want him to love me too, unconditionally. To never regret choosing me or ever get bored of me.

I want a love at first sight story.

I want him to see me and know that he wants to make me his, even when he's unsure of how to go about it.

I want us to grow together in Islam.

I'm not asking for perfect, I'm asking for intentional.

For someone with Taqwa, with whom I would complete half his deen and he mine.

I want someone who would love me, whom I would look at and wonder what would have happened if I met him earlier.

I want a love that is home.

A love that sees me.

One without the baggage, and one that would always draw me closer to Him.

I want a love that is my peace, that grants me everything I could ever request and not for once makes me feel like I settled.

I want a love that harbours no doubt.

A love that makes me know with all certainty that I'm in love.

This was what I told Him.

And then, He gave me you.

Soft. Calm. Reassuring.

The kind of love that has me reaching out for you, harbouring no doubts that you are there, reaching back for me too.

And now I'm standing at the threshold between a spinster and a wife, knowing without a doubt that I want to spend forever with you.

I know I should have started long before you eventually told me to.

I am still standing at your doorway tentatively, holding on to the handle, wondering if this is really how it ends. I have my suitcases in tow, but just like the way my heart is tethered to yours, I can't seem to force my hand to let go and take that step out.

Because genuinely? I had gotten used to being someone you loved.

I tell my journals I hate you, but I still waited by the window sill every day hoping you would show up. Hoping you’d say something that could change everything. Something to reignite this spark I’m holding on to, which now feels cold as steel.

But I'm not surprised. My heart has been broken so many times I’ve stopped counting. I came up with a million excuses because I thought that’s what love was: standing up for each other, holding on even when the storms grow stronger.

Or maybe I just haven't met the version of you that was going to stay?

Oops. There I go again... making excuses for you.

I should leave.

But who am I kidding? I’ve told myself I needed to leave a thousand times over, yet I’m still standing here at your doorway.

Hoping.

Hoping that one day you will look at me differently. That I will eventually feel the love you never cease to say you have for me.

Maybe I shouldn't stop believing...

How can this be over? The moment the whole thing shattered still feels like a mirage. I crossed oceans of effort just to find you, and this is what I get? I wanted you to save the last dance for me, but I guess that was never meant to be.

I thought your smile was worth the wait. That I was going to be yours forever. But now...

Someday, maybe we could fall in love again.

But right now, I need to let you go.

Where am I even going? First, I need to find the key. The key to my heart that I left so foolishly in your care. If I’m going to be crying myself to sleep every night, I at least need that back in my own hands.

But before I walk out... was there something I could have done better?

I know,

Trust me, I know.

I don't get to disappear and come back with the my love line, it's cliche.

But thenn, hear me out please

I have just survived the longest exams I've written in the history of me being a student.

It was just four weeks and eight courses, but the bulk of public holidays that fell within that period made it feel like I had been writing exams since the beginning of the year. Genuinely, it was draining. 😪

I tried to write you at least twice during that period but the words weren't coming, wrote a few lines and shut off the note app cos...

Then a friend mentioned something they had read from my page, I came here to check that particular article and then I realized I hadn't written you in two full months!

That realization was...

Well , I don't know.

It wasn't like I planned to take time off or anything, it just happened. More like I wasn't in the Substack headspace, I don't know if you can relate…

Anyway, my mind went to you tonight, so I've decided to put my fingers to keyboard.

I could tell you about the things that have been going on, but I really don't feel up to it...

So yea, that's it.

My not so pretty speech.🥲

How have you been?

What have you been up to?

I've not been able to go through your post, neither have I checked your notes but I would pick it all one step at a time.

I missed, and I hope you missed me just as much.

Byeeee... for now.🌝

It felt like everything had been happening all at once.

Some good, most bad. Now, we all have good and bad days, but when the bad days keeps coming at you successively and you are counting about three out of the seven days in a week as bad days, then it starts to take a toll on you.

That was me. Tired physically, emotionally and mentally. Yea, school stress can do that to you but it can't be that bad. Mine was dashed hopes, plans that weren't planning and high expectations that now felt bleak. Mix all of that with school stress, and you would understand how I was feeling.

Carrying all of that, managing to hold it all together and then your phone decides that it's the perfect time to act up.

Pause

Breathe in.

Out.

Well, that was me. Tuesday evening with a blinking phone that was perfectly fine few minutes before, a tired heart and eyes filled with tears.

Now, I'm not one to break down in public. I have my quiet moments, just my Lord and I.

So when I went to class on Wednesday, it was a resigned heart just holding it all together. Knowing that even though the plans weren't planning, my Lord is the best of planners. And verily with hardship, comes ease.

I had the moments I played, the moments I stayed in my emotions. It was a practical class, so we are talking four hours straight. In between, there were times I felt 'well I can't kill myself' and times I remembered that another sum of money I didn't budget for would soon be deducted.

But the moment they began talking about moving a test that was supposed to be from 2-4 to 4-6, my mood wound down drastically and I couldn't even manage a smile.

"What happened to you? I have seen about five different moods from you just from Monday till now."

"You haven't eaten abi? That's why you are quiet like this. "

" What's up, is it because they moved the test? "

And on and on it went, with me responding in the negative to everyone and managing a little smile when I could.

This was the mood I was when I went to pray Dhur, and maybe I looked even more like my problem on my way back because this man decided to stop me.

"What happened to you?"

I shrugged. Because I really wasn't in the mood.

He was still on the lane of quizzing me, when my friend joined us. He turned to her instead.

"Is she your friend?"

"Yes sir."

"Did she tell you what was wrong with her?"

"Yea, she has issues with her phone."

"Ah, so that's why you are looking like that. I also just got my phone back, wasn't able to do anything since morning.... "

I can't remember exactly what he said, but from there we landed on so if you go to heaven now, shey you don't think they'd send you back because you are stressing over aphone. Went on to say that as beautiful as I am, I was squeezing all my face up because of phone, like that like that.....

Then he went, "where's the phone? What happened to it? Jeka gbe owo Adura le— let's put prayer hands on it."

I brought out the phone o, and explained the symptoms.

Guess what he said?

"Ahahn, they'd just need to boot it. It's not that serious. It has actually happened to my old phone..."

I just nodded like, "hmm, okay"

Then he's like, "do you believe me?"

I just shrugged because it was obvious he just wanted to make me feel better.

He turned to my friend and he was like, "your friend has little faith."

I chuckled, we eventually rounded up the conversation and he let us go.

I did try to lighten up, and stop looking like what I was going through. Thanks to him, I guess?

After my test, I went to fix the phone. Although it wasn't that deep— as I was able to get it done that yesterday, it wasn't what he said it was.

But I couldn't help but rethink what he said, "Your friend has little faith."

Little faith in his words or little faith in God?

And why would he even expect me to have faith in his words? Like the way he said that, I was supposed to swallow it all up and believe because he said so?

Well, faith doesn’t always show up as smiles, loud “amen,” or instant acceptance of someone else’s words.

The situation was draining but I think I managed it well to the best of my ability.

Even my friend said I was strong(I know I'm not—lol), that there's was no way she would have held it all together like that. She made it sound like she would have balled her eyes out with tears while I was keeping a straight face— or maybe a frowning face🌝 and acting all indifferent.

What she didn't know? I cried.

Just not in front of everyone, but in the corner of my space, on my praying mat. And in my opinion, that's where it matters. That is enough faith to carry on.

Heyyy, how has your week been?

Hope it hasn't been as crazy as mine?😂

For me, my weekend starts tomorrow so I'm actually feeling lighter.

Byeeee….for now🌝

I have forgiven you.

I made myself see everything as light, feeble. I told myself it wasn't that deep. Even though it was that deep and I would never have done that to you, I forgave you.

But just because you said you were sorry, because you apologized then you want me to still stay?

To carry on like nothing happened? Maybe it might never happen again, but what if it does? You betrayed my trust the first time so pardon me if I'm not jumping at my feet for a second chance.

……

Something happened today, and I was eager to share it with you. I scrolled through my recent chats and realized you were nowhere to be found. Until I remembered.

I had blocked you. Cleared chats too.

But you know what can't be cleared? The memories.

The laughter we shared, the dreams, plans and even secrets. Now what bothers me isn't that we shared these but the fact that while we were sharing all of these you had something you were holding back. A detail that shouldn't even be a secret in the first place.

Maybe you had your reasons, maybe I shouldn't have trusted you. I've known you, my friend , for five years now and this is how we become strangers? A small piece of information that changes the scope of everything .

You would probably read this, so let me add this here.

Hi Stranger,

I bear no grudges.

Sometimes I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you kept it from me, but the deed is done. You eventually told me yourself even though it came late.

Again, I've decided not to hold on to it. But still it feels surreal that I really can't call you my friend anymore and I would most likely ignore you if we do cross path.

Anyways, I hope you soar. Achieve those goals we discussed and set new ones. I definitely would be cheering you on— from the other side of course.

For the amazing time spent together, thank you genuinely.

Bye Stranger.

To the friends who became strangers. I'm certain we do not hate each other, just let's support each other from a distance now.

Byeeee….. for now 🌝

I had plans of going out that morning, and I knew it might take a while so I decided to eat before leaving. I had stew, so rice was the first option. I light up the cylinder in my room— I barely ever have the energy to carry the cylinder to the kitchen. Don't blame me😔, it's just always stressful having to go back and forth or having to cook in an already messed up kitchen. So I mostly just wing it in the room which is VERY illegal by the way. 😮‍💨

So, I put the rice on fire and started preparing too. I don't know the kind of audacity I woke up with, but I had enough mind to LEAVE the room while cooking😳 to sort out things that would actually take a while. 😓😳 And guess what?

Yep, you guessed right!

I got back to meet my pot on the floor and my cylinder? No where to be found😳. I asked one of my roommates who was sleeping earlier about it, and she said the porter had carried it. 😳😳

Omo.

Now, there's a big difference between the porters catching you right there and telling you to take it to their lodge and them having to turn off the cylinder, drop your food and take it by themselves to their lodge! 😱😭

A very big difference!!😭😭

Apparently, this woman was passing and then she called out from outside that whoever was cooking should take the gas to the lodge right away. But who was cooking? Me! And where was I? Nowhere to be found.😭

So she was forced to enter the room herself, she met two of my roommates sleeping and probably assumed they were faking and took the cylinder herself! 😭

Ah!💔😂

I immediately went to check her at the lodge but she wasn't there — still trying to find other offenders like me probably🌚. So I finished getting ready, ate my rice(thankfully it was ready) and then went over to the Porter's lodge again to check.

This time, I met her and I tried to plead my case.

She asked what level I was, and immediately I said it I knew I should have winged it instead. She went on and on about how we were the ones teaching the new students 'bad things' and how we ought to know the rules. After going on for a while, with the other porters joining mouth to wash me😭😭, she said I should go write a letter of apology and come along with #5,000 if I wanted the cylinder.😶‍🌫️

5k ke?😳 I tried to plead my case further but she was no longer giving me an audience and I was running late so I just left to come back later. By the time I got back, she was already off duty so I couldn't even pick it up. 🥲

Now, there's a rule. It's whoever seized anything from you that has to return it. Another porter cannot intervene in that sense and you would have to wait till that particular porter is on duty again.😭

Now, stay with me cos this is where it gets crazy. 😂

What I Ate Throughout This Week

Friday: Rice and Stew (morning till evening).

Saturday: I went for a Nikkah and I have to give them ten over ten cos every aspect including the food was a hundred percent. We even got takeaways, so my lunch and dinner were covered.🤭

Sunday: Bread and my remaining stew for brunch, Garri at night and then yoghurt for extra effect..😂

Monday: Puff-puff + Buns in the morning, Garri at night.🥲

*Break in transmission*

When I got back from class this particular day, I met the porter who had seized my cylinder on duty— I had been informed that she would be the one there. So I went there with resolve, I was even joking with a friend that she should say something that would make me cry so I'd have tears for the porter. But when I got there, I didn't even know when the dam opened.

You guysss, I lost my steeze and composure o😪. Pleading amidst tears and guess what? This woman was using me to scroll Tiktok😭😭. I probably spent close to 30 minutes there and the other porters were as against me as she was, partly or majorly because of my level too. Omo I finally left o, after she hammered it in again that I was not getting anything without the #5,000 payment. I decided to just comot hand at that point, cos I'd use that money to fill my gas and even get change😭 and I genuinely couldn't afford to part with my 5k like that, not at this point in time sef.

So I continued:

Tuesday: Puff-puff in the morning, bread and margarine at noon, then garri at night.😭

At this point Garri and Puff-puff had become the norm. 😭

Wednesday: Puff-puff in the morning, Biscuits and lacasra for lunch andddd I finally cooked!😭

Borrowed a friend's cylinder to cook Jollof Rice, added egg and plantain for extra effect cos even I couldn't believe I had survived on Bread, Puffs and Garri for half the week.😭😭

Thursday: Ate my J.Rice😭😂

By the time I got back from school today, one of my roommates said the Hall Supervisor came looking for me. The following conversation ensued(according to how it was reported to me sha).🌝

Supervisor: Where's the girl they collected her cylinder in this room?

Roommate: She's not around ma, she went to class.

Supervisor: So she couldn't come and plead since that time abi?

Roommate: Ah, ma she went that Friday o and she went again on Monday but the porter didn't give her.

Supervisor: So she didn't see me?

Roommate: Hmm, I don't know ma

Supervisor: Tell her to come and see me tomorrow, around 9am.

You guyss, I'm going to see the supervisor tomorrow please add me to your prayers make dem give me without any stress 😭😂. With the way I pleaded on Monday, I was already determined not to go back there without my money. But hopefully I wouldn't have to part with it, let's see how tomorrow goes sha...

Anyhow, I would be here to update you later today.😶

So how are you?

How has your week been??

Alhamdullilah, it's Friday ☺️

I open my eyes, all smiles as they land on the one I chose. Safe to say, my one and only...

He whispers "Asalamualaykum Mon Coeur" as our eyes meet and smiling unabashedly, I reply with "Waalaykum Salam my KISA". At this he blushes heavenly, and I feel my stomach flutter even more.

We stayed in this position for a few more seconds, basking in each other's presence before he breaks the silence.

"We still have about an hour before Fajr, Tahajjud?", he asks as he gets out of bed and I nodded as I got out after him.

" The weather is pretty chill, so I left warm water for you in the green kettle" he says this with his hand caressing my cheeks, our eyes held for a few seconds mine reflecting my gratitude.

"I would be waiting for you", he says, squeezing my hands just before I step in the bathroom.

I meet him on his prayer mat, calmly reciting the Quran. His voice placing a certain calmness I hadn't felt before stepping in the room.

Mats side by side, heart synced in dhikr and at that moment I felt immense gratitude to Allah. Knowing He answered every single one of my prayers regarding him.

After Fajr, I made to walk out of the living room but his voice stopped me.

"Where do you think you are going?"

"It's Saturday, I'm sleeping in", I replied him, shrugging.

" You promised to review your hifdh this morning"

And I remembered, I had indeed promised but then the bed was calling me. Making my cute baby face that he rarely says no to, I tried to plead my way out of it.

" I would do it when I wake up" , he was already shaking his head before I even finished talking

"Nope, nope. Pick up your Qur'an and come over here"

I sulkingly obeyed, but deep down I was glad he had insisted.

About 45 minutes after, we were done.

" Did I earn a chocolate? " — He had promised me a bar of chocolate if I met the quota.

"Nothing for you, you obviously didn't revise enough"

I held my chest in mock hurt, knowing fully well I was guilty as charged.

.....

I wake up the second time that morning, but this time he isn't by my side. As I raised my body to get off, I saw the box of chocolates laying beside me on his pillow. This with a hand written note that says :

Baby, your voice is so beautiful you deserve all the chocolates in the world. Prepare well against nextweek and we might be getting all the flavors of ice cream that catches your interest. Love, your KISA.

I was blushing hard by the time I finally got out of bed. I made for the bathroom first to freshen up, and then dressed up appropriately. Putting on my fragrance and accessories for the needed effect.

I find my husband focused on his laptop in the study, and as I stayed by the entrance watching him in admiration he raised his head and our eyes met. I could tell, my fragrance was doing just the right thing.

I walked towards him, intentional with every step and when I do reach him I curl up in his lap ensuring that the only view he has is of me.

"Thank you B, for everything. I pray the Almighty continues to bless you immensely and keeps making us the coolness of each other's eyes" with this, he pulls me in and our lips collide.

.....

My face in the crook of his neck, and his arms around me. We remain in this position for minutes basking in each other's warmth before I finally ask what he'd like to have for breakfast.

"What would you like to have?" He throws the question back at me as he usually does.

I shrug, "toasts and tea maybe?" I ask

"Hmm, that's okay. But I'd rather just eat you instead "

"Stop jhorr" I hit his arm playfully, as I get off his laps.

"I'd run your bath and then go make breakfast. Should be ready before you are done"

" Come on, you don't have to run me a bathe. I'd do it once I'm done here."

" I insist", I said as I make my way out of the study.

....

I was still in the kitchen when I caught a whim of his fragrance. His hands then snake around me, as his lips find my ear whispering sweet nothings. Placing my hands on his arms,I let myself savour the moment.

We had breakfast and while we were at it I continued the gist I had started telling him the previous day about an incident at work. He recalled where I had stopped and I saw he was eager to hear the conclusion.

The gist carried on till we did the dishes together and then, he sharing a similar experience as I loaded the washing machine with our dirty laundry. While this was on, we exchanged banters, fleeting moments, serious talks and everything in between.

It was eventually time for Dhur, and he went to the mosque nearby to pray. I stayed back to pray mine, eager for him to get back because I had just remembered something I ought to have told him.

......

We were both on our laptops till Asr time. After praying Asr, we made for the kitchen. He had promised to show me how to make one his delicacies from his bachelorhood. As we worked together, I occasionally stole glances at him. Whispering 'Alhamdullilah' over and over, my heart filled with gratitude.

After lunch/dinner, we both retired to the living room. I curled up in his arms,as he perused the draft of the book I was writing. He asked questions, gave suggestions and complimented me a lot, which eventually made my cheeks hurt from blushing too much.

It was soon time for Magrib, and he went to the mosque. Since he wasn't going to be back until after Isha I also spent that time reviewing my memorization.

......

When he got back, we dimmed the light and got ready for the cinema feel. I dropped the Popcorn and cups of juice I had brought on the coffee table and snuggled into his arms as he wrapped them around me in return.

The movie began, I nestled my head into his neck knowing fully well that that is my cue to sleep. My favorite part? Sleeping off in his arms in the living room and waking up to the most handsome man in the world right beside me on the bed.

Ps. Everyone has been on this trend, so I decided to take it up too🤭🤭🤭. I was writing this around 1am, blushing like a delulu in love. 😂💜

Love is sweeter than spaghetti jhorrr🌝🤭

Well, here is my experience.

After this incident, I never thought I would talk about this again or even pick up a pen to write about it for the World Wide Web, but guess who is typing away? Moi!

She lay still. Amidst our ringing laughter, our continuous jeers and occasional shouts of boo... She lay still, unmoving. Maybe we should have known, from her unusual stillness we should have been able to tell that something was wrong. Science students that we were, our observational skills were supposed to be atleast 90 percent— if we were serious that is.

But there we were only realizing something might be terribly wrong about 30 seconds later. The noise slowly died down replaced by the curious glances on our faces. Gathering the courage, I called out her name. She didn't answer, neither did she react like she had just heard something familiar.

"Ahh, She's dead!" Subomi whimpered and I could hear the fear in her voice as I was scared to admit what she had just blurted.

I had my heart in my mouth at that point, the possibility could not be ruled out considering the fact that we could barely see her face too. I wasn't sure then how being tormented with your phobia could cause your death.

We didn't mean to torment her. It was supposed to be a little scare, just to get our own pound of flesh for her tattle-taling. I looked from Subomi to Zeenat and then Grace, I could see the fear in my eyes mirrored in theirs. As if on cue, we started taking steps towards her.

I felt movements on my feet, which made me stop abruptly.

What if it was her spirit? Ready to take revenge? I didn't scream, but I was scared. I looked down slowly only to realize it was one of the spiders trying to scoot away. I calmed and continued walking.

I checked her pulse first, atleast I remember that from Biology class. I sighed, she was alive. Her pulse was slow but at least there was a chance of her making it. I signaled to the others to quickly get cold water as I lifted her from the spider infested mattress to mine.

She is Arachnophobic or should I say entomophobic- either ways she was terrified of any crawly thing. The way she always screamed, flung anything she was holding away and ran for safety was always something of amusement to me considering the fact that it might just be a tiny spider.

Subomi finally came in with the bucket of water, while Zeenah was calling her name subtly. My eyes caught Grace chewing on her nails, at the corner of the room and I knew right then that the matter wasn't going to die there. I took the bucket from Subomi, and while reciting ayyatul kursiyy proceeded to douse her with it.

I held my breath.

One second.

Two seconds.

Then she gasped.

Her eyes opened, and she looked from me to Subomi, then to Zeenah and her gaze finally rested on Grace.

She looked really weak but I was grateful that she was alive, that we didn't have to tell the world what we had done. That I wouldn't have to live with a regret that size for the rest of my life.

Before anyone could say anything, Grace was on her knees by her bedside. Tears gushing down her face, "I'm so sorry, I promise I'd never do anything like that ever again. I'm so sorry, we didn't mean it like that..."

I looked from her to Fiyin and before I could stop myself, the tears started streaming down my face too.

She could have died because we wanted to scare her. For a little fun, I could have had my friends death in my hands.

Ps. Though this is purely fiction, I feel the need to add that a person’s phobia is not something you use against them. Respect it, it's should never be your ‘weapon of battle’.

Here is my spoiler 😉 on Naylah Abdul's"The Boy Mama Warned Me About" and for real the first question I have to ask is, “what do you mean Zaid died??”😭

But then I should have known. With this preface, I should have expected that something bad was going to happen. Just didn't anticipate him dying like that.

I plan to pick the characters one after the other and just rant, do stay with me! 🤭

Ps. Brace up, cos I'm judging Hanifah like madd!😭😂

Debo

You guys, debo is that girl whom you believe is your friend but can literally dig a knife in your back if the need calls for it.

I get that her family was desperate, and sincerely speaking Hafsah's father actually tried for her.

Letting her mother push her into blackmailing him to marry her?? That was going too far.

That's not how you treat people who have been remotely nice, especially when that person doubles down as your bestfriend's father.

Omo, some friends would indeed make you question your life decisions. And yeah, that friend is definitely Debo.

Zainab

Roommates like thisss😭😂, fear themm!

I don't even know what to say, there's a plus side to staying with them and there's also the downside.

Because let's be for real what roommate convinces you to follow her to a supposed freshers party on the first day you are meeting?? 👀

Anddd don't even get me started on her agreeing to live with Hafsah in her boyfriend's house. Aunty as how naa??😭😂

But I was actually happy for her when she was able to retrace her steps and started taking her religion seriously towards the end.

Aisha

Aisha was really sweet at the beginning and I wasn't anticipating her switch. But I guess that's a dose of crazy things girls do for love.

She did ask Hafsah if there was anything going on between her and Abdullah to which Hafsah replied in the negative only for her to start dating him a week later??

Come on now, that would have been very heartbreaking for Aisha.

Though she spoiling Hafsah to Zaid and then sending pictures to her parents?? That was going too farr!

Abdullah

In this book, I felt for him the most. He was genuinely in love with Hafsah, oblivious of the fact that she was in love with his brother. Also , him not knowing that anything was wrong with his brother and writing it off as aloofness. That was something.

But the way he eventually handled it? Epic.✨

Not everyone could have let go like that and then still set them up. That just showed that he really loved his brother.

Khairat

This girl ehn, I actually didn't mind her character from the beginning.

She was pretty chill. But her reaction to Zaid's episode?

She taking a video and then informing her mum immediately was going too far.

I understand the sibling's instinct behind it though, but then he wasn't beating her neither was he violent towards her. Atleast she should have gotten an explanation from her sister before she informed their mother like that.

Hanifa

Omo, you guysss. Hanifahhhh!!!

Shall we talk about the naivety that finally grew into crossing lines?

From that first supposed Fresher's party where she was almost violated, if not for Zaid's stepping in.

Then her acquaintance with Zaid, the butterflies he made her feel. 🌚🌝

You guysss, even a blind person could see that she was falling for Zaid so you can imagine my shock when she said yes to Abdullah!

Like girllll, your heart clearly skips when you are around his brother but you go ahead and say yes to him? Okayy!!!

And then, taking her laptop to watch a movie in Zaid's room in her father's house???

Hafsah was killing me, the lines she was crossing were holding my neck.😭😂

Then the can I kiss you? Which she eventually leaned in to after shaking the shock off? Girl! You were supposed to pick your laptop and race back to your room, not lipsing with your boyfriend's brother!! 😭

Also, let's not forget how she agreed to live with the boyfriend just because she didn't like the hostel. Bruhh, even if you don't like your hostel anymore going to live with your boyfriend is not an option naw! 😭

Well, genuinely speaking when everything became yam pepper scatter scatter and Abdullah found out. I was happy for her, I thought maybe she was finally going to get back on track.

Then Zaid opens the door on his wedding night and she's there?? I'm like your real name is Husna as how?? 😲 😳

Though , I loved how she didn't give up on their love sha. She was persistent, and she won eventually. A girl that would stand by you through and through? Hafsah is her.

The last shocker? She eventually married Abdullah. For real, I didn't know what to feel about that. Left to me, just leave that family uh? But then, it is what it is.

Zaid

You guys, when I read the part where he died I was shocked. Like what do you mean Zaid died??

I genuinely thought he was going to get cure. You know, meet a doctor that has the solution and actually live a normal life with the love of his life. But then, he died! 😔😭

I'm just glad he was happy sha, and he didn't die in the asylum.

I like the fact that he was trying to hold back when Hafsah was dating his younger brother and the moments they slipped? Shows how vulnerable you can be when you are with someone you love and why you are advised to not be in an enclosed space alone.

Andddddd, let's not forget the tattoo. Like how do you round up your nikkah— one that you requested for(though under certain circumstances sha) and then drive to a tattoo shop to get your lover's name stamped on your chest? Who does that??

Imagine Husna wasn't Hafsah, how was she supposed to feel eh?

All in all, Zaid fought a good battle sha.

In conclusion, I loved Hafsah's audacity, Zaid's love, Zainab's carefreeness(to an extent) and Abdullah's genuineness.

It was a really good read. Thoroughly enjoyed the tension and unexpected twists too.

Have you read the book? Do drop your thoughts in the comments. 😉

But then, it gets to a point where you just realize Substack would always be a safe space regardless. So here I am, back again even though it's obvious I left (pun intended).

What have I been up to?

Well, I'm not even going to lie there's a part of me that feels like generally my performance was mid this year. Maybe it's the end of the year spirit, or the everyone recounting their goals season but it feels like I didn't achieve enough.

There were some goals I didn't hit, some I gave up on, some I forgot how I planned to navigate and others I didn't even work towards.

But all in all?

I am not at thesame place I was as at when I started this year, I have grown. Maybe not as much as I wanted or hoped, but enough to say Alhamdullilah.

When thoughts about how I need to start putting more work starts enveloping me, I remind myself. You got this and you got that, yes you need to put in more but do not be ungrateful for the one you have already.

A friend of mine always says, "you just like chilling, I want to be like you" 😄, well he definitely doesn't want to be like me but he did get me there.

Because majority of the time when he asks what I've been up to, my reply always revolves around "just chilling". And when he asks for the details, it's apparent that I had actually been chilling.

Meanwhile he's been busy designing like the sky would come down😭. Now that's what I need, the kind of grit he has. That dedication and drive to keep showing up.

So guess what?

He decided to help me take my life "seriously" 😂.

So he asks me what do you like doing for fun? Or what do you think you can do?

Asides from doing vlogs which I don't ever post and recently stopped making cos I believe they are mid(I deleted all the posts on my IG then cos of this thought)...

The only other thing I enjoy is writing which is how I found myself on Substack in the first place.

Now, after different drafts that never saw the limelight, years of postponing and trying to learn more and read more...

I have finally decided to write a book, fiction of course. I figured, if I don't start I most likely wouldn't know when I get better.

So, yea I already wrote the outline and chapter one. I plan on posting it here, hopefully I don't read it over again, decide it's not good enough and not post. But yea, that's my next step towards showing up and not leaving this page dormant.

And even though you know it already, let me say it again.🥺 I would be needing your support, engagements, reviews and constructive criticisms. Because fr, I really hope I don't overthink this and I do pull through.

Also, before I go— cheers to us, to you for subscribing even when I was second guessing myself every step of the way. For your engagements, I really appreciate you.

You might not know but every time you click that like button, restack or drop that comment on my post it's like adding another feather to my cap or should I say another scoop to my confidence? 🤔

Whatever it might be, thank you for your support through the year. It really meant a lot.

Also a big shout out to the people who encouraged me to start writing on Substack. Those who send dms to remind me that they haven't seen anything from me in a while. You guys are the real MVPs and I genuinely hope to see you all at the top of your games too.

To round up, if at some point you start feeling like you didn't achieve anything this year. Just pick up a pen and a paper, start listing the things you are grateful for, even the supposedly little ones. Trust me, you would be surprised!

You might not be there yet, but it's important that while we keep growing we appreciate the things, even the little ones that come to us along the way.

Oops, this is longer than I intended. I'm leaving now I promise.🤚🏾😄✋🏾

One more thing though, I don't have a title for my book yettt...😪

Anyways.....

How have you been?? I want the details please.🌝

Don't worry, I'm leaving now😅

Ciaaaaoooo, see you soon!

~Beloved 💜

Today was my last dayyyy.

You guys I didn't go on Tuesday cos my sister was convocating, so getting up to go this morning took all the energy in me and it almost wasn't enough. It was the fact that my logbook was still with the Deputy Director that actually gave me all the boost I needed.

I'm currently in the lab as I write this and I figure it's the best time to reminisce on my experience so far.

Let start with this one: 'Bayen lo shey ma peri mole bi alangba' this basically means 'that's how you'd just put your head down like a lizard'. You people this was what someone said to me o😭, I no do like I hear cos wetin I wan talk before.

So on that day, I was helping with the bagging of sachet water and at some point the machine started filling and sealing very little water which most likely points that the water was low already. When this happens we are expected to turn off the machine and chill till a substantial amount of water has been pumped. But I was preoccupied with bagging that I didn't see it until he asked me. And then he proceeded to compare me to a lizard. Emi odindin somebody's nine months .🥲

Let's also not forget the many gists that starts flying around in the Sachet Water section once we start bagging. Information wey I need o and the information wey I no need o, there's a particular girl there that would give you everything.😂 Sometimes I get tired and just don't respond to her, then she'd direct them to someone else. Them suppose give that girl award, cos as she dey talk her hand dey also work sharp sharp. 😂

You guys, that was how she told me that IT students don't normally come on Saturdays that the manager was just trying to "hold me for hand" (translated this directly, hope you get the context). Hearing this, na so I swing into action o, me that didn't like coming on Saturdays before. So on that Friday, I told the manager I wasn't coming on Saturday that it wasn't like there was really anything I needed to do and went on to say that other IT students don't come on Saturdays. That was how this man hooked me o, "who said IT students don't come on Saturdays?" Me looking at him like are you really expecting me to cast my source? I just said somebody. Then we went ahead to check the sign in book for the past IT students and I saw about five different times that they came on Saturday and that was even very recent. That was how my hand dropped o, and I didn't have any choice but to go that Saturday. 🥲 Sha, out of four Saturdays I went for two. Me sef try🥲,Abi?

Then I spent some time at the blowing section too and the first day there, I was allowed to operate the machine – first time in historyyy😅. One of the guys there really wanted to put pressure on me by putting the preforms with only a gap of two in between, maybe he wanted to see my reaction but I was just there looking at him and chuckling wickedly. I sha know say if I don miss like two sets, Dem go calm down for me.😂

He sha later gave it a gap of four and then because he's so 'obsessed' with a gap of two, he kept on slipping it in between and then I just told him to make it a gap of 3—at this point I was already confident in my skills. I actually did well— if I can say so myself.🌝

Anddd the Laboratory was 'labbing'.😅 You guys, I made ammonia-ammonium chloride (Buffer) solution from scratch, without supervision andddd I didn't floppp. Somebody shout powerrrr!! 😂

Asides from the smell that almost choked me- even with a nose mask on🤧, it was a wonderful experience. And through mixing chemicals, documenting and just vibing I indeed enjoyed the lab experience. I could say that was my favorite spot cos it really felt like my hideout – if you know what I mean 🌝.

The bottled water section was really cool too, though after my first week I barely got around to helping them cos I was always hooked by the Sachet Water section people. Though I still go to the Bottled water section everyday to get samples for testing. I never got to operate the machine but I've watched them do it a number of times and lowkey understand why they'd not push it to me. There was a day the machine's display just went blank😂. It wasn't funny o, cos it was mid production. We turned it off at the main switch, waited a while and turned it on again but the display was still blank. They couldn't use that machine for about two days— until it was fixed, thank God for the back up machine sha.

If there's one thing I'm holding, it's the relationship between electricity and production. When there's electricity, there's a high rise in production. You'd see several bags of water both inside and outside but when there's none the store is scanty and then they start sharing water between distributors. Figuring out a way to ensure electricity is constant would definitely do the production a lot of good.

Meanwhile, I'm really hoping that I'm able to get my Logbook today because the girl in sachet water has give me stories of how IT students would always have to come back even after they are done just because they were unable to get their log book signed. I really hope I don't fall into that category too.🥺

All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I actually did enjoy it. They've given me several names that aren't mine eh, ranging from Fareedah, to Khultum to Damilola to Jumoke, even down to Roqeebah🥲. Omo, someone even called me Cynthia today and it took quite an amount of energy to not tell him to ‘go home’.

Amidst all these, there are a number of people who actually pronounce my name well too and those that can't, call me by my third name which I have now learned to respond to. 🤧

Also, about two people have asked me if I would be coming back for IT there?

Chuckles in danger.

These people actually want me to come and spend six months here👀👀. God please oo. 🙏🏾😅

I've been telling them "I'm not sure yet" but God please I'm sure, I don't want to come back. I need to gain new experiences naww, but maybe if I come back they'd finally trust me with operating the Bottled Water Machine? 🤔 Let's see how things go sha..

And there's a man there owing me #100, I didn't dash him o.😑 Make everybody know like that, even though I'd probably never be able to collect it.🥲

Anyhow sha, I took a picture of this 'deformed' sachet water. A little souvenir for you guyss

Don't worry,you don't actually have to thank me. What are friends for? But if you insist sha, you are welcomeee 😁 😁.

Andddddd

I was able to get my Logbook back too.🤭 So I don't have to go back there except I just want to say hello or somethingg. Alhamdullilah

So you guys SWEP has ended, na new semester and IT dey look me for face. I really want to start my search for placement before I loose guard and end up doing it in this place again. If you have any recommendations, do let me know.🙏🏾🥺

Anyway, thank you for sharing the experience with me. Please subscribeeee and byeeee🥰

Today started like every other day, though I even got there a little earlier so I sorta had to wait extra too.

I finally got into the lab around 8:30 and immersed myself in my own work. Did that till about 11:30, and then I went to get two sachets of water from today's production for testing.

I got started just like I was taught yesterday and let's just say I had to do that of alkalinity twice cos I got 50mg/L the first time and I knew it wasn't possible lol. Anyways, while I was at it, I took some pictures for my logbook and definitely some for you. 😉

A friend of mine said, this is citrus and blackcurrant.😂😂 You guyss, go ahead and join us, might as well throw a blackcurrant party. 😉 😂

When I was done with the testing and my shenanigans, I had to clean up…

This was basically the highlight of my day, and the rest just entailed someone that kept on coming every 10 minutes to talk to me ‘enjoy the fan’🤧 and me just doing my thing.

Btww, I found my pen today ooo. Eshey gaani o, we really appreciate it😂

That's all about my day, how was your day?😀

But firsttt I can't find my pen guyssss.😭

The pen I ought to use to sign cheques just sorta disappeared from my bag.😭😂 Abegg I won't brag about my signature again, ejhor ebami return e–please return it to me.😂

That being said, today started like any other day. I waited for the manager for a while, got the key and went back to the lab.

I went for the fan first and you people, it didn't start!

Omo, I first shock.

Like, as how?

When did I start using you, that you are refusing to start?

I wasn't even in the mood to go looking for the Manager again so I just sat down and started doing the things I planned to do – my personal stuffs of course. 😉

Today, I didn't plan to go outside at all. I was ready to be in the lab till 4, I guess I wasn't in the mood for people relations. And I have a number of things to keep me busy, coupled with my experience yesterday too(check day 3 for context).🤧

While I was minding my business, the manager came around to 'check' on me. Then I pointed out the fan to him. Apparently, there's a place the wire touches and we were able to fix it within 5 minutes. 😁😁

I'm glad we were able to get it to work sha, and I just cuddled up on the chair again. At some point, I was wishing I was in my bed instead.😪 I wasn't sleeping oo, but you know the bed is naturally more comfortable.🙃

Around 2pm sha, one of the ladies working at the satchet water section asked me to come help her. I couldn't say no, so I was there packing water into the bags and knotting until I found out that the person to take me through product testing was around. Finallyyy…💃🏾💃🏾

You people, that was how I went to meet him and he said he was coming, cos he was actually eating when I got there. So I went back to packing the sachets of water until he finally came around. 🙃

Got into the lab and then the testing started or technically speaking, we were exercising quality control by inspection😌😌. So I got two samples of sachet water which we determined their alkalinity, hardness and also if there was Calcium present in them.

It felt surreal guyss, like I was back in my school's chemistry laboratory although here I have access to more chemicals and I'm the one in charge.😌 😁

So you guys, abegg add Chemist to my name like this o cos it ain't easy at all.😌😌 Should I go with "Chemist Engineer ….." or "Engineer Chemist ….."? 🤔 I think the latter would be better, abi ki le feel?😅

While we were doing the experiments, I asked him how the water gets treated in the first place cos there were a number of tanks all having their own labels like "raw water", "pre-treated water", and then the "treated water". Once we were done with the testing, we went to where these tanks were, and he thoroughly explained the process to me from the beginning.

Guess what?

I enjoyed it and I guess I could say I actually gained a lot today.🤭

Anyhow sha, I might be establishing my own water production plant soon cosssss🤭😂

That's all about my day 4, how was your dayy?😌

I got there around 7:40am ish, signed in and was about to go sit to wait for the manager when one of the staffs told me he was around.

So you guys, I didn't have to wait today, I got the key from him and let myself into the lab. That was around few minutes to 8, there was light also so the atmosphere felt very lively and that was how I stayed in that lab till 11 am….– abegg don't look at me like that jhorr.😅

I wasn't doing any lab work o, just shuffling between reading a novel and replying messages. I got tired sha, then I decided to go check if the person who is to take me through the lab work was around. I wanted to ask the manager first, but on getting to his office , it was locked. Guess who decided to just go to the bottled water production section instead? Me 😭

My people, something was telling me "Don't go, don't go" I said "what is it? Let me go and see and probably do some work". 😭

So I got there o, and the different sections were already full. Was I not supposed to just greet them and turn back? Or probably just stand somewhere and watch the mechanism of the machine?

But, no.

I went ahead to stand with those at the 'standing section', mind you there were already two people there o but then that was where I was the last time so I was already familiar with how things were to work so I went to stand there.

Hmm

Omoo 🥲

That was how one of the women there asked me to get a stool and come sit with them. On getting seated, na so them shove label for my hand o. 🙂

If I was actually doing something, it would have been better but I just felt like I was wasting my time and I still wasn't even comfortable. Because there were already two women before me, they would have 'stood' the bottle and even put the label on it before it got to me so at the end of the day all I had to do was watch the bottle pass, lot of labels still in my hand.😐 I could count the number of bottles I got to put labels on and I doubt they were up to ten. 🥲

Seated by that machine, I started devising a way to get out of there. And I finally got the perfect idea, "Ejhor mo n bo, mo fe lo wo boya manager ti de"– Please, I'm coming, I want to go and check if the manager is around.🤡 Omo na so I take japa o.

I got to the manager's office and it was still locked, lol do you think I went back there? Naa, boya next tomorrow sha.😂 I ‘jejely’ found my way back to the lab, though on my way I stopped one of the staffs to ask her where the manager was and she said I should check the accountant's office.

Found him there, then I asked if there was going to be any lab work today but he said the person to take me through wasn't around yet.😐 So I went back to the lab, and started doing my personal stuff till it was time to go home. 🙃

You guysssss, when I went to sign out I met a security woman on duty and guess what?? She said, 'I love your signature"🤭🤭 you peopleee, she didn't say like ooo she said loveee!!!🤭😂😂. She actually got a big smile from me as I blushed and said thank you ma, cos it's actually rare seeing someone complimenting my signature.😅

So my signature already looks good in books. Ya Allah, give me that money make I begin dey sign cheques too.🤭😂

When I sign cheques for you guys I'm expecting to hear, " I didn't even cash the cheque you gave me, I just had to frame it cos your signature looked too good." 😍😭

Yoooo, that's all about SWEP Day 3, how was your day?

Welcome to today's episode of how my SWEP went. Trust you are doing great? Well, same here. Let's get into it 😉

I got to the company around 7:58am, I didn't meet the 'you are sitting on my seat’ woman today (check day 1 here for context sake). It was another man that was there, I signed in and asked him if the lab key was dropped there cos I had dropped the key with the manager yesterday. But it wasn't, so I had to wait.

Omo, I sha found a stool and sat near the lab for about 30mins before the Manager finally came around( I didn't want to stay at the security post cos I didn't want to have to greet everyone that comes in). So I went to pick my key with the manager and I asked if I could be dropping the key with the security but he said no. Now I guess my mornings would always begin with me waiting on the manager. SMH.

Finally stepped into the lab but there was no light, so I just opened the novel I was reading yesterday and continued. They turned on the generator around 10am sha, and I turned on the fan cos why not. I stopped reading and started watching videos on a course I was learning which I had been postponing.

After a while, I started hearing sounds from outside – machine noise. If you know me well, you know I gotta go check.

I met them in the sachet water production section, that's where the noise was coming from. You guys, this is much more straightforward than that of bottled water. Like for real, free advice: if you want to start water production, just start with sachet water first. Thank me later 😁.

I'm yet to learn all the techniques though, but that particular machine barely needs human involvement. As long as the nylon is inputted, and the water also connected, it just starts producing once you turn it on. So all you have to do is pack sixteen sachets in the bag and then knot it– there's a mechanism for that one.🙃

I joined one of the ladies packing by the machine and I started too, at first that knotting felt quite off but I think I got better and finally got into it. At some point I felt like packing seventeen so I could post it here and say if you get a bag of water from… and you see seventeen sachets just know that i was thr one who packed it😉😂, but I didn't sha💀😂

While we were on it, the manager asked of me so I had to go meet him.

And guess what?

He wanted me to go and get him airtime. As how naa😭

He sha started describing the shop I was to get it from 😪 and thenn he was like "or do you sell airtime?" I was already saying no, until he mentioned "like opay or palmpay". The way I nodded in the affirmative ehn, I'm sure it was obvious I didn't want to go anywhere.

So I got my phone out and sent the airtime to him, and he didn't miss the opportunity to tell me how lucrative a business selling airtime is.🙂 I just nodded and thanked him. Who knows maybe I would soon start selling airtime for them there.. 👀 🤔

You guys, by the time I got back to where we were packing the sachets of water someone had already taken my space. I just stood behind him wondering what I was supposed to tell him until the lady I was working with said I could go and get some rest. Lolll.

As I was stepping out, I knew I definitely wasn't going back again for the day.

Got back to the laboratory and continued watching the videos. Did this till it was almost 1pm then I went to tell the Manager that I was leaving for Jum'uah and.... that I wouldn't be coming back – he had told me earlier that we are expected to come back after Jum'uah and wait till 4pm💀. After trying to quiz me about why I didn't want to come back, he said I had to take permission from the director.

Not to bore you with the details, director sha said I could go –after asking me questions also. I then went to tell the Manager this and he said okay. Then I was like see you on Monday sir –though their employees come on Saturdays and he had also told me that I was expected to come on Saturday too but somehow he replied with "Yes, see you on Monday". 😁

Absentminded or not, he's definitely not seeing me until Monday.

Yeaa, that's all about my day. What about you? How did your day go?

For context sake, Student Work Experience Program 2 (SEEP) is a program where 300l Engineering students engage in a mini industrial training after their second semester.

So I finally started mine today, after about two weeks of sleeping at home– my mates are already rounding up loll. Yea, I know I like playing with my life😅.

The company is basically a water enterprise where they produce both satchet and bottled water.

7:45am-8:30am

I got there around 7:45 am, and then I stayed at the security post since I wasn't sure where to go. I asked if the manager was around and they said he wasn't, so I sat there and continued reading the novel I had started the previous day. In between that, I watched people come, sign, pick keys and go until this woman came and said, “ You are sitting on my seat”.

I looked up from my phone and saw she wasn't smiling. Lol, I stood up immediately and apologized before I start stepping on toes on my first day. She sha pointed at another seat for me, and I'm like "thank you ma" no vex ehn- said this part in my mind though.😂

Around 8:30am ish(I'm not so sure) the manager finally came o. He signed in, then gave me a book to sign in also and said I should come to his office.

As soon as I was done, I thanked the "you are sitting on my seat woman" for her kindness🌝 and left in search of the manager.

Got there, then he gave me this pep talk. I can't remember half of what he said again sha 😭 but he mentioned something about giving people a name they can easily call you when you get to an organization....

Then he proceeded to introduce me by my second name to every section we went because apparently my first name was "too hard to pronounce". Lmaooo🙂

We sha did the introductions o, "you are welcome" wan finish me and the number of "thank you sir/ma" I said today ehn😪

Finally, he took me to the lab. Apparently, I'm the only IT student around now so I'd be doing a lot of lab work. As I entered that laboratory, you people I had PTSD firsttt.😭

These burette, pipettes, conical flasks, all sorts of chemicals including but not limited to HCl(screaming freaking HCllll😭😭), ZnSO4, NH3 and the likes were just there staring at me like– ‘you are welcome back💀💀’.

Omo, that lab literally took me back to 100level days during Chemistry practical. Why meee?😪

So the manager then asked me to wait for someone who's going to come put me through. I was just hoping the man wouldn’t come and start asking me;

"What are the properties of NH3?"

“Why is this stored in a translucent bottle?" Or all these, " what's the colour of the indicator in an acidic medium?" Omo mehnnn😪😪

I sha waited till a little past 9 and then I decided to go to where I saw the big machines cos I can't just be staring at the ceiling now.🙂

On my way, I came across the satchet water production factory. Fed my eyesss😍 and then asked this lady I met there when they were going to start producing but she said, those that were going to do it weren't around yet. I just looked around for a while and then went to where the bottled water production takes place.

I met people there, putting the labels on empty bottles and I asked to join them. You guysss, that's where it all started o. 🙃

The bottles were a lot, no cap. Though we were about 6 that were handling it so it didn't take too much time.

When we were done, it was finally time to start the machines.

In my mind, I was like, “yassss 💃🏾💃🏾, exactly what I am here for”.

They sha started, everyone took their positions at different stations. The loading, the rinsing/washing, the blowing, the filling & capping, the standing, the simmering, the parking, and the sealing. I gave some of those processes names myself sha, but you do get the point. 🌝

I actually didn't know which of the points to join, until one of the guys there said I could join the standing process. So basically, what we are expected to do in standing is to ensure that the capped bottles are in a standing position as they enter the simmer( that's where the labels on the body actually stick to the bottles after they had been filled).

So I joined the woman that was already there, and we started o. Basically just picking up “fallen heroes”😂. You guysss, before I went to join her, I should have worn my very meticulous attitude but as usual I didn't even remember I had it. (Don't look at me like that jhorr😪)

The first hitch I noticed was that, you need to watch the bottles as they come towards you and then keep your eyes on them until they enter the simmer cos any hero can decide to fall at any point in time. It happened once while the woman was still with me and she sighted it on time.

It's like this, a bottle decides to block the part so those that come after it wouldn't be able to pass through. If you don't get it fast, then several bottles would end up at that point without a path to go through and then the simmer entrance can get clogged.

The woman who was with me soon left me to it o, and before I knew it she had disappeared. I sha kept on doing my thing and everything was going smoothly, until my eyes caught the other side of the standing line– that's the entrance to the simmer.

You peopleeee, about twenty bottles of water were already clogged there because apparently one of the fallen heroes decided that it and others after it didn't deserve to simmer and me that was supposed to catch them was too focused on the bottles that were coming towards me.

Omo, I sha got there immediately and tried to remove the ones I could for the others to go. They had to pause a bit for me to sort it out and it felt kinda somehow.🥲

Although they didn't shout at me o, they directed the yab to one other guy that was there and they were asking him if he wasn't supposed to be there with me. (In my head, I was just like bobo no vex.😂)

This guy sha came to join me –after retorting back at them oo, and then we resumed production. Not long after, they decided we needed a break and I definitely used that to escape.

Found myself back in the laboratory . Just me, fan and peace of mind. I thought I was done for the day until someone came to call me that they were about to start production again. Omoo mehnn. I was already feeling subtle headaches, me that would have slept like 3 hours already if I was home.😪

I sha went o, but this time I was put in loading. Here, what I had to do was fix the empty bottles in the machine. This was going very well, until the manager came looking for me. Apparently, there were still some important dignitaries I was yet to meet🥲. Got introduced to them, answered questions. More "you are welcome" and "thank yous" .

After that was done, I went back to the factory and I was back in standing. The woman that was with me in the morning finally came back too (rumor has it that she actually went to sleep🥲–na me talk am...sheesh) 😂

Everything was going well o, until they took light. Loll!

So they turned off the machines, opened the coolant box and omo the steam that came out of that one took about 5 minutes(I'm exaggerating lol, but you dig sha🌝) to dissipate. They sha said I could be going o, after they counted and saw we had produced about 120 plus packs of bottled water. Me sef carried myself back to the lab, make I go stick to my quality control 🥺.

But guess what? As I entered the laboratory, they restored the light. Lolll.

Do you think I went back? I guessed we'd never find out. 😂 😂

I'm currently in the laboratory sha, writing this. I can hear some noise coming from outside so I'd go and check. Maybe they've started satchet water production. It's almost 4 sha, nothing is tying me down once that 4 clocks Biidnillah.

That's how my SWEP day 1 went o, how was your day?

I had been in school since 8am having back to back lectures and at that time it was just 12pm which meant I still had 3 courses to go.

Are you wondering why I am tired by 12pm? Even I don't know, but I guess we can blame it on my inability to sleep the previous night.

I was waiting for the next lecturer, mindlessly scrolling through my phone when this guy turned up by my side literally coming from nowhere. He waves in front of my face- that is between my phone and my eyes. First offense but I didn't actually take it as one because I just assumed it was one of my friends. Only for me to meet his eyes and realize I don't know him from Adam. Is that how people greet those they do not know now?😑

“What are you doing?", he asked as he continued grinning like we had been friends all his life.

What was so funny about this school, about life in general that you now shine teeth at strangers, I thought to myself before moving to meet his eye one more time.

" Minding my own business “, I mumbled

"Uh?”

" Minding my own business” I said again this time curtly, hoping he would take the hint that he ought to be minding his business too.

But did he? Of course no, he did not! And the next thing that came out of his mouth?

" I would like to be your business too”

As how?

I didn't even say anything, but I am so sure my eyes did more than enough justice because he backed off without even saying a word.

Did I feel bad? Nope,I didn't.

Maybe everyone should learn to mind their business afterall, but if everyone does then we might never get to relate with each other. The opportunities we would miss…

But then, there has to some decorum to it. So maybe instead of minding our businesses, we need to take socializing courses seriously.

He probably saw nothing wrong in his approach and maybe you don't too. He probably thinks I'm a proud grumpy person,who doesn't interact with others.

Well, am I?

That is entirely dependent on what you are bringing my way and the state of my mind at that particular point in time.

This post is a sequel to “Today, I decided to open it" and if you are yet to read that I recommend you do so before starting this. You can get it here(highly recommended 😉) . Now, let's dive in.

I am kneeling before the chest after mustering all the courage I could.

The picture was still on top

The same one that had me screaming my lungs off yesterday.

He was smiling.

I picked the picture out of the box with shaky fingers, looking at it closely, I could see his prominent features.

How I have come to hate this man with so much passion.

Even in death.

Oh yes, he's dead. I personally made sure of that.

15 years earlier

It was my fifteenth birthday. The day everything turned south. It started out like every other birthday I've had in the past. My mom and stepfather with the usual birthday song, and the gift they had neatly wrapped up. And there was me acting surprised as I unwrapped each gift like I had not been spying on them while they wrapped it up the previous day.

I was genuinely happy.

But that happiness was soon to be shortlived. My woes started few hours after when we got a call. It was an unknown number, informing us that mother had been in an accident and was being rushed to the hospital.

My stepfather and I, wait scratch that, the stepfather and I immediately got into his car, navigating our way to the hospital.

“We lost her."

Those three words shattered me. Not only was I shattered but it also ruined my whole life path. Even though I didn't know it at that time.

It was supposed to be an urgent work meeting, she had those often . Something unprecedented comes up, she goes over to sort it and before we even know it she is back. But on that fateful day? She never really did come back .

I cried. I was devastated. It felt surreal and worse? It was on my birthday.

The extended family decided they didn't want to keep her at the mug for too long, so she was buried exactly a week after… exactly a week after my birthday. I wished I had gone with her.

During the burial service, the more people came around to offer their words of sympathy, the angrier I felt. I was angry at everyone, at mother–who laid peacefully in her coffin, the stepfather, and even down to my aunty who wanted to take me with her after the burial. I felt nobody could feel the pain that had burned a hole in heart, not her husband and definitely not her sister.

I should have obliged her though– I mean my mother's sister who wanted to take me with her. If only I were wiser, I should have gone with her. Or if I hadn't been overtaken by emotions then, I probably wouldn't be reminiscing my past in this form.

Sometimes I think back to that day and wish I had foreseen what happened in the following months.

It started subtly. The occasional caresses on my cheeks the lingered too long. The pats on my back that moved too close to my breasts. I didn't think much of it, he was my stepfather anyway. The only father figure I had.

But the night things took a different turn? The memory remains evergreen, which explains why I had a panic attack by just setting eyes on his picture.

It was a sweltering night, and I wasn't getting any sleep. I managed to put up all the curtains while frantically fanning myself with the closest thing to a hand fan I could find. I had imagined it was impossible for me to fall asleep that night until I woke to hands groping me in the dark. I was sweating profusely and it took my brain a few seconds to register what was going on.

When I finally realized it, I mustered all the energy within me and tried to shove him off. But that was mostly futile as that night I saw a side to my stepfather that I hadn't seen in the five years we've lived together.

That was thesame night he stopped being my step father but the step father.

The next morning, he requested I had breakfast with him. Like he was not the monster who forced his way with his late wife's daughter the previous night.

I was too angry, too shocked to react to him, and If I wasn't feeling so sore in my genitals I could have sworn it was just a bad dream.

I didn't eat at home that day, and every other time he invited me to dine with him in the subsequent days.

But a mistake I made? I didn't leave the house. Things soon got back to the normal routine, I focused on my schooling and got anything I needed to eat before going back to the house where I just march up to my room and lock the door– it became a habit.

I never told anyone, even though I still woke up to panic attacks where I dream that he somewhat metamorphosed inside my room. I mostly wake up panting heavily. Then I check my door to ensure it was still firmly locked and barely ever go back to sleep.

Again, if I were wiser I should have called my mother's sister and asked to go stay with her. But I thought things were finally back to normal when there was no incident about a month after. And I was calmly settling back to the normal lifestyle until this day I came back from school and met him with two other friends of his in the family room.

My throat feels parched, I stand up from my position beside the chest making my way out of the room to get a cup of water. I already feel so overwhelmed. Maybe we pick it up tomorrow.

Ps. I don't even know what to say. People who have actual novels going on are the real MVP. I've been on and off this and I still feel like I didn't structure it well. The third part should be out tomorrow, hopefully I do better on that. By the way, thank you for reading!

I moved towards the corner of my room where I had tagged the “No Go Area".

My fingers lightly traced the lines on the chest, moving against the dust that had settled over the years.

How many years has it been…

Since I locked it all up with the mindset of never opening it again.

I heaved a sigh, feeling the heaviness of my heart weigh down on me

I wanted to turn back.

To leave it closed, and never look back

But instead…

My fingers trembled as I put the key in the lock

I tried to still myself, but my body was not having it.

It felt like spasms, but just on my fingers .

I left the key, putting my fingers on the floor for a moment.

“Calm down"

But my mind was not in sync.

It barely ever is.

It seemed as I was trying to unlock the chest, I was also tugging at the scabs over the unhealed wounds on my heart.

And along with that tug, definitely came the pain.

Not excruciating at first, but subtle enough to be felt.

I tried the key again.

This time, it opened.

In one swift movement, I almost wished it didn't.

But it did.

And now, the only barrier between me and my past is the lid to the chest.

Just one lift and I wonder what I would be facing.

I tried to remember.

To pinpoint exactly what the last item I dropped into the box was

But my memory failed me, fifteen years of trying to suppress this particular memory is a long time to actually remember the tiny details.

I slowly opened my eyes.

Gradually moving my line of vision from the wall to the chest

It's been five minutes now, since I scampered from the box screaming at the top of my lungs.

I am still screaming right now.

A deafening guttural sound that I almost can't believe is coming from me.

I have lost the courage to go further.

Today, I opened it.

Maybe tomorrow, we will delve in…

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Inshallah, the sequel to this would be dropped tomorrow.

Prompt: It's been 15 years since I locked my past away inside the chest. Today, I decided to open it.

He had read somewhere that one is regarded as a serial killer when he has killed 3 or more people.

“A serial killer? So, that's what I am now?”

He chuckled to himself as he brought out his phone to take a picture of his victim before tossing the body into the pool next to him.

Detective S. sighed again for the umpteenth time, newspaper in hand.

His teammate, Detective A, just gave him a breakdown on what they had on this budding criminal and to be quite frank? It wasn't a lot.

The pool had become a constant, Detective S. believed the killer had a fetish for that.

“Look at these, What do these three pictures have in common?" A asked, breaking into his counterpart’s thoughts.

“The pool?"

“Yeah, that's pretty obvious. Anything else?"

Detective S. shrugged, seemingly unbothered.

Detective A. picked up two of the photographs, scrutinizing them closely.

“The nose! Their nose does look similar."

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The scene was almost same as those in the past.

The body of water. The shade. And most definitely, the victim.

Sam had her tied to the palm tree near the water.

And as the waves came in their direction, she flinched screaming for help.

Sam chuckled to himself.

“Somi, no one can help you even if they wanted to” , he said, making sure her face felt the cold metal blade of his knife.

“Please, don't kill me" Somi begged, desperately, for her life.

It was soon quiet.

Just like those in the past had been, he picked up his phone to take pictures.

But to his utter dismay, he had seven missed calls waiting.

Detective S. checked his phone to see seven missed calls. They were all from Detective A.

He had also received a voice note from him. " We have an intel that our friend might be at the Eerie Beach. Do meet me there as soon as you get this".

But how do we tell Detective A. , and the world at large that Detective S. is the serial killer?

Ps. This is purely fiction.

Prompt: Write about a detective who is secretly a serial killer. Only uncover them at the end.

That's the prompt above. Can you rate this piece on a scale of 1-10?